Stories (spamfic)
                                  by Ken Arromdee

Oh, no, thought the guide.  Tourists, at Jyusenkyou...  a whole crowd of them.
Must have been some kind of tour group special...  he hated tourists because
they meant he had to _work_ and lead them around in order to get paid.  Still,
they're only tourists.  Show them a few pools, make up a few stories, and
take them back.  He picked up the pool list and tried to refresh his memory:
Girl pool, the one two pools away from the cliff.  Dog pool, three pools
away and under the pine tree....

The Jyusenkyou guide showed led the tourists around.  "This legendary ground
of cursed training springs!  With each pool is associated tragic legend that
explain curse!  Cause person falling in pool to transform.  Very bad."

"This pool called Nyannichuan.  Story of girl who drown in pool"...  The guide
picked a good number.  "One thousand years ago!  Is very tragic story which
happen after girl run away and dive in pool to escape pursuers...."

"Right here we come to Yaznichuan.  This pool have very tragic story of
drowned duck which happen four hundred thirty five years ago!  Duck come
from..."

"Excuse me", asked a voice from the crowd, "but how is it a _tragic story_ for
a duck to drown?  I mean, it's a duck.  So it drowned, that's not such a big
tragedy.  Why do you have legends about something as insignificant as this?"

"Honorable guest should wait for end of story!  Duck was very revered village
pet of powerful mayor.  So when drown, all know.  This make story tragedy
enough to be story."

The guide continued.  Hmm, that one was the pool of drowned octopus.  While
drowning octopuses were certainly unusual, he would have to think hard to
explain why one was a _tragedy_.

He started his typical speech.  "This is pool of drowned octopus.  Terrible,
terrible tragedy of legend of octopus that drowned, uh...  drowned four
hundred forty one years six months ago!"  He thought the "six months" was a
nice touch.  "King of nearby village was to have big banquet serving octopus,
but octopus drown in spring and upset dinner guests kill king for insult of no
main course!  This how come it very tragic story that octopus drown."

One of the people in the back of the crowd, a teenager with a ponytail asked
"Hey, guide, you mean they went from mayor to king in six years?"

"No, no, honorable guest.  This different nearby village.  Say, hasn't
honorable guest been here before?"

The guide took the crowd over to another pool.  "This one of most tragic
pools of all, called Akanenichuan.  Tragic legend happen...  happen nine
hundred sixty seven years ago in early Ming dynasty."  He did not notice a
red glow towards the back of the crowd from the pony-tailed teenager's
companion.  "Ugly girl hoping to regain beauty run from crowds believing she
witch, but trip..."  The glow got redder.  The guide ignored it and continued.
"Girl trip on rock and fall in.  Die and never come back, so ever since then
we remember legend of...."

At this point the girl emitting the angry glow ran up to the Guide and
hammered him flat, then tossed him into another pool, one with a sign reading
"empty".  She began to lecture the crowd, putting on a mock-Chinese accent.
"This pool called Guide-ni-chuan.  Very tragic story of _baka_ Jyusenkyou
guide from over forty thousand milliseconds ago...."