PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE


Hello, welcome to the psychiatric hotline.

1.  If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

2.  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

3.  If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4, 5, and  6.

4.  If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.

5.  If you are manic-depressive, it does not matter which number you press.
 No one will answer.

6.  If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  Just stay
on the line so we can trace your call.

Thank you and have a nice day!