Oops.
Seems like quite a few people never saw parts one and two.
Here they are now.
Later!
-Mike
***
YAAH! Ranma
(Yet Another Alternate History)
Chapter One
Here's Ranma!
***
"You ready?"
"Yeah..." answered Akane wearily, passing her school bag to
her older sister. "But I'm starting to get really tired of this."
Nabiki gave a sympathetic nod and hurried ahead. "I'll see
you inside, 'kay Akane?" She paused for a moment. "And don't
take too long. Looks like it might rain."
Akane watched as her sister hastened her steps and quickly
passed through the school gates, and then into the school itself.
Her passage was a warning to the other students still loitering
in the front field of Furinkan High School - a warning that Akane
Tendo was about to arrive. The fight was about to begin.
She glanced up at the clock on the central building. Good.
She was a little early today... she had about fifteen minutes to
take care of her morning 'problem' and get to class... plenty of
time. Right. She started to psyche herself out as she approached
the gate.
Boys. Boys. Hate them, she thought. Hate Boys. I. _I_
Hate Boys. I Hate Boys, I hate boys, I _hate_ BOYS! As the anger
grew inside, she gathered speed, broke into a run, built up steam.
She charged through the school gates. She was immediately beset
by a horde of over twenty guys.
Nabiki watched from her perch up on the second floor. She
had to give it to her psychotically violent younger sister - she
sure knew how to handle herself. Although I don't understand what
they see in her, thought Nabiki, watching as Akane dodged, dodged,
and uppercutted the president of the Karate club. Do they _enjoy_
getting beat up everyday?
"Your poor sister. Every single day..." said one of Nabiki's
classmates, as Akane roundhoused the star soccer player in the
side of the head. Akane was slowly but surely making her way
closer to the school. To anyone who knew her, she was obviously
taking her time today; she was using the extra time to defeat her
opponents with a little extra precision, defending herself and her
clothing, instead of just bulldozing her way through like she
usually did when she was late. Her progress came to a temporary
halt as a huge sumo-wrestler grabbed her from behind; multiple
palm strikes to his chin knocked him - and a couple of his teeth -
loose.
Nabiki sighed and went to turn away, when a flash of red
caught her eye. She turned back to the fight and noticed a young
boy wearing a red shirt, with his hair tied back in a pig-tail,
entering through the school gates. She wondered who he was...
Akane ducked beneath the racket of a tennis player, twisted,
grabbed the arm of the football linebacker behind her, pulled him
off balance and threw him into her first opponent. They went down
in a tangled heap. Jumping back she avoided the downward swing
of a baseball bat; he, however, didn't avoid the upward swing of
her kick. His eyes bulged out as her foot sank into his crotch.
With a barely audible whimper he sank to the ground, gasping,
"I... love... you..."
Akane took a deep breath, stepping away. That was the last
of them. "For Pete's sake. Every morning!" she muttered. "What
a _drag_!" Another morning - another training session - another
annoyance - done with. Well, except, of course, for...
"Gotcha!" spoke a cheerful voice behind her, and she felt a
light tap on the back of her head. "Uh, listen, I'm new here, so
could you..."
What the... How... Who... She hadn't even heard, sensed,
anyone step up behind her! And... and he'd even managed to _hit_
her! A small rational part of her mind tried to remind her that
he'd only _tapped_ her, but, as usual, it got swept away by anger.
With a low growl she spun and threw a massive haymaker, and was
rewarded with a loud 'crunch' as her fist connected solidly with
her assailant's chin.
The boy staggered back, clutching his jaw. "OW!" he
exclaimed. "Whaddya do that for..." He glared up at her, pulling
his hand away from his chin.
Akane blinked in surprise. She didn't recognise him. He was
her age, had blue eyes, looked surprised and upset, wearing a red
chinese shirt and black pants, his hair in a pig-tail... he'd
never been around here before... and obviously wasn't a part of
the gang that attacked her every morning. He wasn't a student of
Furinkan High... she had just hit an innocent bystander! Her
anger died under a wave of remorse and guilt. "Oh! I'm so
sorry..." she started to say.
"... you stupid tomboy!" finished the pig-tailed boy.
Her apology died on her lips. "What did you call me?"
"I called you a tomboy! You hit everybody like that?"
"No! Only creeps who sneak up on me!"
"Hey! I didn't _sneak_ up on anybody! Is it my fault you're
too deaf to hear me come up?"
"Deaf? Deaf?" Her anger flared up again, and Akane raised
her fists. "I'll show you _deaf_, you JERK!" She took a step
forward, the boy holding his ground, when a rose thudded into the
earth before them. She sighed and turned, momentarily forgetting
the obnoxious boy she didn't know for the obnoxious boy she did.
From behind a tree stepped a regal-looking teen, wearing
loose-fitting kendo garb. The rising wind tugged at the fabric
and ruffled his hair just enough to give him a slightly pensive
look. His bokken was held low as he held a second rose to his
nose. He looked up, eyes glittering over the crimson petals.
"Truly. Such a boorish lot." he narrated, managing to insert a
slight sneer into his voice without marring the music of his
words. He contemptuously flicked the rose onto the body of one
of the fallen. "Evidently each of them intends to ask you out,
Akane..." he continued, pulling yet another flower from his robe.
"On the dawn that he finally _defeats_ you."
"Oh, upperclassman." said Akane tiredly, remembering once
again what it was she _really_ disliked about her mornings at
Furinkan - Kuno. The workouts weren't too bad... the poetry-
spouting idiot was. "Good morning."
"And now..." said the upperclassman, obviously oblivious to
the tone of Akane's voice, snapping the rose towards her. "Akane
Tendo..." He raised his wooden blade and stepped into an
aggressive stance. "Might you fight with _me_?"
She shook her head in disbelief, tossing the rose aside.
Every morning! When would he _learn_? How many times would she
have to knock his...
"Hey, listen, Akane, right?" spoke a voice to her right, and
she jumped in shock. It was that obnoxious boy... she'd forgotten
about him! "Man, you're popular, aren't you? But you look kinda
busy... so could you just tell me where the office is? I gotta
register."
"WILL YOU STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!" she screamed, turning on
him. He backed off in surprise.
"Hey, whoa, there, tomboy! I just didn't wanna get between
you and stick-boy there."
"Stop calling me a _tomboy_!"
"Hey, if the name fits..."
"If the name... you jerk! You sneak! Creep!"
"Hey!"
"YOU THERE!"
Both turned as the man with the bokken stepped forward,
pointing it at the boy with the pig-tail. Akane suddenly realised
what was likely about to happen, and stepped between the two. He
might be a jerk - but as a martial artist, it was her duty to
protect the weak. "Stay out of the way!" she said to the boy, who
blinked in surprise. "You'll get hurt." She turned her attention
to her opponent.
Kuno kept his eyes fixed on the new arrival. "How dare you
speak in such discourteous a tone with Akane!"
"Uhhh, listen, I'm just lookin' for..."
He was interrupted loudly by Kuno. "Who _are_ you, boor?"
Without waiting for an answer, he raved on. "Ah! But it is the
custom to give one's _own_ name first! Fine then! _Mine_ I shall
give!"
Akane glanced back at the boy she was protecting, who seemed
rather unconcerned. He shrugged. "If you want..."
Kuno struck a noble pose, lowering his garde and, for just
a moment, looking like a fabled samurai of days of old. The skies
churned and rumbled as his voice rolled clear and true across the
school yard:
"My name..." he cried out,
"...is upperclassman _Kuno_. Junior. Group E.
"...Captain of the Kendo Club.
"...undefeated new star of the high school fencing world.
"...my voice strikes fear into the hearts of mine enemies.
"...but my peers call me...
"The BLUE THUNDER of Furinkan High.", and a crash of thunder
and bolt of lightning punctuated his pronouncement!
The pig-tailed boy looked impressed. "Okay, I'm, uh... " he
stammered. "I'm... ah, new here, and just askin' this tomboy for
dir..."
"WHAT?" howled Kuno, charging forward. "You yet dare slander
Akane's name?"
What a jerk!, thought Akane, stepping aside. Here I try to
protect him, and he _insults_ me? He deserves whatever Kuno gives
him! Then I'll give him a piece of _my_ mind! But, much to her
surprise, as Kuno's blade swept forward (at, she realised, a far
greater speed then he usually employed against her), the annoying
stranger was gone.
No, not gone... up, in the air, easily dodging the swing,
flipping backwards, pulling off his backpack, saying: "I'm heir
to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts!"
The words stunned Akane. Anything Goes? But... but that was
the same style... So surprised was she that she failed to protest
when the boy's bag landed in her arms. "Here. Hold my bag for
a sec." He said, barely glancing her way. He landed in an easy
stance, legs spread wide, smirking cockily. "I am Ranma Saotome!"
he cried out. "And I accept your challenge!"
***
Akane hurried along the side of the building, ignoring the
heavy rain that was pelting her and plastering her long hair to
her face. She had to find that boy... had to find... Ranma.
The fight flashed through her mind's eye. Fight? Hardly.
A few dodges - amazingly quick, and seemingly effortless - by the
newcomer; a shattered wall and severed tree, from Kuno's failed
attacks; a leap in the air; a blast of thunder and lightning; a
counter-strike, bokken versus open-hand; a sudden downpour of
rain; and then a panda bear, tearing out of nowhere, knocking out
Kuno and abducting this Ranma Saotome?
She had to find him... partially to check if he was ok, after
that wound he'd taken to the neck... partially to give him back
his stupid backpack... partially because it wasn't everyday that
you saw a panda run by, carrying a steaming kettle... but mainly
because of his proclamation. He practises Anything Goes?
She heard a clang around the corner. Ah, they must be in the
P.E. shed, she thought. Time for some answers. Then to class.
The first bell rang out.
She sighed. Then to class... a little late.
"What just happened?" asked someone.
For once, Nabiki had no answer. Who was this Ranma Saotome?
Where did he come from? Where had he _gone_? And where did that
panda bear come from?
She had some answers to find. This Ranma Saotome was
obviously new to Nerima... there was a bit of a mystery
surrounding him... and Nabiki just _loved_ a good mystery.
Just then Kuno swept into the room, having switched into his
school uniform and somehow having regained his cool and unruffled
demeanour despite having been in a fight and knocked out mere
minutes ago. There was a pattern of scratching across his
forehead; when Nabiki looked closer, she realised it was a rough
and quickly drawn kanji character. She smirked.
"And why do you mock me, Tendo Nabiki?" asked Kuno, coming
to stand before her.
She suppressed a giggle. "Here. Have a look." She pulled
a mirror from her bag and passed it to him.
His arrogant countenance slipped for just a moment, before
turning into a frown. He snorted, lifting his hair away and
examining the marks.
"And to think I thought Ranma Saotome was _good_! He can not
even spell!"
But, looking at the marks, Nabiki had to laugh. No, Ranma
could spell... he could spell _perfectly_. And to think he had
done so with a single attack - one that Kuno hadn't even felt!
He would definitely bear some looking into...
"Shit!" swore an unfamiliar voice from within the shed. "If
it hadn't rained..." Curious, Akane pulled the window open.
With a jump, a strange girl - and a panda! - spun to face
her.
Akane looked her over. She seemed oddly familiar, although
she was sure she'd never seen her before. Her clothes, though -
the pants, shoes, shirt - _were_ familiar... they were identical
to what Ranma had been wearing. And she had a pig-tail too! The
hair was red, though. Still, did they know each other?
"Ah... hi?" said the strange girl.
Akane looked around the room curiously. That was certainly
the same panda - at least, she assumed so, for how many pandas
could there _be_, roaming loose in Nerima - but the boy was
nowhere to be found. "Did you by any chance see a boy come by
here?" she asked.
The girl started slightly and gave a nervous laugh. "Ah...
ahaha... no, no, of course not..." she stammered, placing one hand
behind her back. "No one here but me and... ah, my panda!"
Akane narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Why was this strange
girl acting so weird? "Who... who are you, anyway?"
The red-headed girl glanced around the room, as if looking
for an escape. "Who am I? Who am I? I'm... ah... I'm..." she
looked to the panda in desperation. Much to Akane's surprise, the
panda pulled a sign out from nowhere. Written on it in a hasty
scrawl was: Ranko. "Yeah, that's it..." said the girl, stepping
forward with one hand extended. "I'm Ranko. Pleased 'ta meet
'cha!"
End Chapter One
***
<< Commercial break>>
(We zoom in on a pile of bloodied, battered corpses. They
have a somewhat annoyed and vaguely surprised look to them. The
camera pans up, and up, and up the staggeringly huge pile, till
it pulls back and we see a large, heavyset man clad in coarse,
ragged clothing. He is turned away from us, gazing off into the
horizon; the setting sun outlines him in a corona of blazing
crimson. He turns as the camera moves in, and stands easily on
the shifting mound beneath him.)
(Long, straggly, dirt, blood, and gore matted hair hangs down
to the small of his back, almost obscuring his twinkling, dark
eyes. He reaches up to brush it out of the way. He's holding a
gore-spattered jawbone of an ass in his hand. He flashes a smarmy
grin to the camera.)
Samson :Hi! Samson here... People often comment on how
luxurious my hair is. (The camera briefly looks down
at a dying man, who nods once before dying). And you
know, it isn't easy! After a long day of knocking
about the Philistine hordes with nothing but a jawbone,
my hair loses that fresh, vibrant feeling.
(He starts working his way down the pile, taking great care
where he steps. He quickly gets to the bottom.)
Samson :Other shampoos might work for superficial dirt, but...
(he pulls his fingers through his hair; he gets stuck
in a clump of grey matter and bone fragments)... for
those deep down, to-the-scalp situations, no ordinary
product will do.
(He begins to walk across the rocky, wind-swept plain,
continuing to talk to the camera.)
Samson: Sure, I _could_ use those industrial strength
shampoos... but I don't just need cleaning power.
(Three armoured men jump out from behind a rock.
Scarcely acknowledging them, he punches out once; his
hand (still clutching the jawbone) blasts right through
the chest of the first man and slams into the sternum
of the second (shattering the entire rib cage), who
flies back into the third, squashing him against a
rock. Samson pulls his hand out of the corpse, letting
it slide to the ground with a faint gurgle. He
continues his narration.) No, I also need a delicate
touch. My hair is important to me - so I won't trust
it to just _any_ hair product. So what do I do?
(He stops walking, lifting one leg up onto a convenient rock.
A shaft of light pierces the cloudy sky, bathing him in its fiery
glow. He looks up pensively at the blood-streaked heavens.)
Samson :I turn to the only One I can trust in, from which all
good hair products flow. I turn to...
(A pool of water next to him begins to bubble and churn. Out
of its waters rises a small green bottle.)
Samson :Joketsuzoku Hair Products! Special Formula Sixteen -
Guaranteed to tackle the toughest of hair problems,
while leaving it soft and manageable. Conditions while
it cleans, now with special Chinese extracts that
actually strengthens hair fibres and revitalises the
scalp!
(An attractive woman steps up behind him and pulls him down.
He sighs and relaxes, leaning back, as she lies him next to the
pool of water, his hair fouling its pristine cleanliness. She
begins to lather him up. He looks up once.)
Samson :Remember: Joketsuzoku Hair Products - judge for
yourself! (He leans back once more and closes his
eyes, letting out a sigh of contentment as the woman
starts to massage his scalp.) Thanks, dear.
Delilah :(With an evil glint in her eye). No problem... dear.
(She pulls out a pair of scissors as the camera quickly pans
away. Tiny script quickly flashes across the bottom of the screen
before fading to black:
The Joketsuzoku Amazon Tribe takes no responsibility for any
harmful side-effects incurred bu usage of the product. Warning!
Use only Formula Sixteen shampoo! The Joketsuzoku Amazon Tribe
takes no responsibility for any harm, damage, or death incurred
by usage of any other formula shampoo. Note: Do _not_ mix formula
sixteen shampoo with any other formula shampoo. It may explode
and kill you(*).)
<< commercial ends. >>
* - I've actually scene a sign like that. It read something
to the effect of: Do not touch anything - it may explode and kill
you. Took _me_ by surprise.
***
YAAH! Ranma
(Yet Another Alternate History)
Chapter Two
Here's Ranko! Ranma vs. Kuno!
"I'm Ranko. Pleased 'ta meet 'cha!"
Akane looked at the girl grinning before her, and smiled in
return. "I'm Akane." she said, stepping into the shed and out
of the rain. Her nose wrinkled at the unfamiliar scent of wet
fur.
Just as she stepped inside, the storm outside abruptly came
to an end. Akane gave an exasperated sigh, reaching down and
wringing some of the water out of the hem of her skirt. "Isn't
that the way it always happens?" she said, looking up at the girl.
"It rains just long enough to get you wet, then stop!"
For some reason, the girl glanced at the panda, and burst
into laughter. "Yeah, I think I know what you mean..." she said.
She flicked a dripping crimson bang out of her eyes.
Akane gave up on her clothes. Fortunately, she always had
a spare uniform or two - considering how often she got into
fights, it was a necessity. She gave Ranko - who seemed to be
undoing the ties on her shirt - a quick look over. A little
shorter than her, red hair tied back just like that Ranma guy,
blue eyes, really quite cute. Her eyes widened when she noticed
a nasty looking welt on Ranko's neck - wasn't that the same spot
where Kuno had hit Ranma?
"Uh... Ranko, right?" Ranko nodded. "Where... where did you
get that bruise from?"
"Huh? What bruise?" answered the girl, pulling off her
Chinese shirt.
"That one on your neck!"
Ranko reached up and gently prodded at her neck, wincing
slightly as she found the spot. "Wow..." she said softly. "He
didn't even..." She shook her head, and shrugged. "Well,
whatever... I guess I oughta be more careful next time..."
"But where did you _get_ it from?"
"Oh." The strange girl glanced back at the panda, who gave
a noncommittal bark and shrugged. It whipped out a sign: "How
should I know... I'm just a panda!" Akane's wondered where the
signs came from; she also wondered where it had leant to write
such good Japanese! "I... ah... I got the bruise sparring with
my pop this morning." said Ranko, again glancing at the panda.
"Really?" asked Akane. Her interest in the girl rose quite
a few notches - this girl was into martial arts? She momentarily
forgot about finding Ranma and odd bruises. "You take martial
arts?"
Ranko grinned. "A little."
"Really?" exclaimed Akane excitedly. "So do I! I study
Kempo. You?"
"The same."
The day suddenly seemed to be going a little better to Akane.
She may have just met another girl who studied Kempo! She'd
always wanted a friend who was into martial arts - her sisters had
given up on it a long time ago, and the other girls around school
didn't really care, and couldn't understand her obsession with
fighting. It was so hard to find a good female sparring partner.
"I have a dojo back at my house. You should stop by some day...
we could spar a bit!"
Ranko shrugged and pulled off her shirt. She had quite a
figure, Akane noticed somewhat enviously. It was a good thing she
had a tank top on underneath, though... this girl didn't seem to
believe in wearing a bra. Ranko gave her shirt a couple of sharp
shakes in the air, snapping small droplets of water across the
room in a miniature shower. "I think I'd like that..." she said.
Akane smiled. "I'm glad." A sudden thought occurred to her.
"By the way, are you new here? I've never seen you around
Furinkan before... did you just transfer?"
"Ah... I guess you could say that. I... got here a few
minutes ago, really." She then turned and glared angrily at the
panda. "Actually, I'm new to Nerima too. Just moved in
yesterday." Ranko turned back to Akane, and gave a little smile.
"Today's supposed to be my first day of school... but I wasn't
expecting the rain."
Akane returned the smile. "Well, I'm glad you're coming to
Furinkan!" Strange, really, she realised - two new students in
one day! Except that she didn't know where the first one had
disappeared to... "Still..." she continued, looking the dripping
Ranko over. "I don't think you want to start your first day like
that, do you? You're out of uniform!"
"Eh." Ranko shrugged. "Never been much for uniforms.
Figured this'd be ok." She shivered slightly as she pulled the
clammy Chinese shirt back. "And I didn't have time to buy one."
"But..." said Akane. "But you're soaking wet! You don't
want to make a bad impression, do you?" She reached down and
pulled open her book bag, and pulled out a carefully folded bundle
of clothing. "Here... I have a spare uniform! You can borrow it
for today!" She held the skirt up to Ranko's waist. "See! We're
the same size... it'll fit you perfectly!"
Ranko looked down at the uniform with obvious distaste.
"Thanks. But no thanks." she said, shaking her head and stepping
away. She gave her sleeves a sharp tug and flipped up the collar
- which did a fine job of hiding the bruise. "I'll be fine like
this, trust me."
"Oh. Ok." Akane knelt down and slid the clothes back into
her bag, a little disappointed by the refusal. As she tied her
bag shut, she realised she still had Ranma's bag with her. Guess
she'd have to leave it at the principle's office, since she
obviously wouldn't have time to find the obnoxious boy now. She
heard the final bell ring out. Nope. Definitely not.
"Ummm... listen, Akane..." started Ranko. "Why don't you run
up ahead? I got some stuff to do..." She glanced once again at
the panda, who seemed to be impatiently waiting, holding up a
steaming kettle. "I gotta... run home and, ah... change. I'll...
see you around, ok?"
Akane nodded and stood up, realising that she'd better hurry
to class. "I hope so! It was nice meeting you, Ranko! Maybe
you'll be in my class!" she said, picking up her bag and Ranma's,
and heading for the exit. She paused on her way out the door,
though, suddenly realising something she wanted to ask.
"Ranko?"
The red-haired girl - who had been approaching the panda -
stopped and faced her. "Yeah?" she said, raising an eyebrow
inquisitively.
"You want to be friends?"
Ranko hesitated only momentarily, before breaking into a wide
smile. "Yeah. I'd like that."
***
After dropping Ranma's bag off at the principle's office,
Akane returned to class. She was quite surprised when, upon
entering the room after a hesitant knock, she saw the same boy
from this morning standing in front. He was still wearing the
same Chinese shirt and pants from this morning - the same style
and colour as Ranko's. They seemed to have been recently wrung
out.
"... and so it does seem to be true..." The teacher was
saying. "... that you were in China recently. He paused as Akane
entered. "Miss Tendo, however, was _not_ in China recently - yet
also managed to arrive late." The class suppressed a giggle as
most of their attention was shifted from the new student to her.
She immediately reddened a little.
"Sorry, sensei." she said sincerely.
The teacher cleared his throat. "Hmph. Yes. Nevertheless,
you are still late. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to stand in
the hall."
Akane sighed, nodded, and turned to leave.
"Psst... hey, tomboy!" Hissed a voice behind her. "Before
ya leave... where'd ya put my bag?"
Before she could turn and clobber him, the teacher spoke up.
"You were late as well, Mister Saotome. Since you seem to know
Miss Tendo, you may join her in the hall." Good, thought Akane.
Now I can clobber him outside.
"WHAAAAAT?" screamed the young man, leaping to his feet. "He
has _defeated_ her?"
Nabiki looked up at Kuno with a slight smirk on her face.
"Uh-huh. Moved right up behind her and tagged her on the back of
the head. I would've thought you'd remember... it happened right
before he defeated _you_, Kuno-baby."
As Kuno clenched his fist, face turning an ugly mottled
purple, Nabiki hoped she was doing the right thing. She had no
idea who this Ranma Saotome was - though she planned to rectify
that soon - but he _had_, technically, 'defeated' Akane, and, in
a way (with the help of a panda, mind you), Kuno. Surely _that_
ought to put an end to those stupid morning battles. On the other
hand...
"RANMA SAOTOME MAY DATE WITH AKANE?" he howled, head whipping
back and forth in rage and disbelief.
... it might just make things worse. Nabiki sighed.
Sometime's Kuno-baby was just _so_ hopeless.
"Kuno. Stand in the hall." stated the teacher wearily,
obviously used to this kind of behaviour from the kendoist. He
didn't even look up from his notes as Kuno dashed from the room.
"I FORBID IT!" Kuno's voice echoed through the school as he
charged down the hall. Nabiki wondered if he even had a clue as
to where he was going.
The moment they were standing in the hall, Akane turned on
Ranma with a glare. "This is all _your_ fault!" she hissed.
He looked somewhat surprised, and a little annoyed. "_My_
fault! Hey, it was _your_ fight, remember?"
"Yes. But _every_ morning, I finish _my_ fight before school
starts! If I hadn't had to chase after you to give you back your
stupid bookbag, I would've made it to class on time!" Well, it
was true that she had stayed to talk with Ranko a bit longer than
she should have, but _he_ didn't have to know that.
"Oh." He looked at her for a moment, the faintest hint of
a smile on face. "Then I guess I'm sorry."
She looked at him suspiciously. Was he making fun of her?
Still, he _had_ apologised... it would be rude not to accept it
for what it was. "Well... fine then. And... and I guess I'm
sorry I punched you."
He shrugged. "No need. My fault, really. I oughta have
seen it coming - dodged or blocked it. I was being sloppy." He
reached up and tenderly rubbed his jaw. "You've got quite a
punch, though."
Akane wasn't sure if she should be glad that he wasn't mad
that she'd hit him, pleased by his compliment of her punch, or
upset that he so arrogantly presumed that he could've easily
stopped her attack. Although, she grudgingly admitted to herself,
the speed he'd displayed when fighting Kuno was way beyond hers.
Which reminded her... she still had to ask him what he knew about
the Anything-Goes Style.
Before she could speak, though, he asked a question of his
own. "What was that all about, anyway? The fight this morning,
I mean. I only caught the tail end, but it looked like you were
beating up a bunch of guys!"
With a sigh, Akane hung her head, eyes closing as she tiredly
recalled the events that had led to her morning ritual. "Kuno
told them:" she said, then deepened her voice into a passable
imitation of Kuno's, "If you want to take Akane out... _defeat_
her! I will permit no other terms!" She looked down at her
reflection in the bucket of water she was holding; a depressed
looking long-haired girl with dark eyes gazed back. Sure, the
last month of regularly defending herself against a horde of
hormone-crazed would-be suitors had done her martial skills a
world of good - it was just that she was getting _really_ tired
of it. And it's not like I actually _want_ to date any of them,
thought Akane angrily. Why don't they get the hint and leave me
alone? Her hand clenched unconsciously on the handle of her
bucket.
Meanwhile, Ranma's eyes had opened wide in disbelief. "You
mean you fight with Kuno _every_ morning?"
"And for some reason I always win!" Although, after seeing
him attack Ranma, she wasn't too sure how she managed. She had
no idea Kuno was so good!
There was a slight pause as they both seemed to mull that
over. Once again, Akane noticed that Ranma seemed to have some
kind of aversion to water - he was unconsciously holding his two
buckets slightly further away from his body than was necessary,
forcing him to compensate with some upper body strength. He
_could_ just be turning his punishment into endurance training...
but then again, he'd seemed abnormally careful when filling up his
buckets, taking great care not to let the slightest drop fall on
him.
"Well, when a guy fights a girl..." Ranma was saying,
snapping her out of her reverie. "He lets up a lot." He had this
smugly knowing look on his face just before turning away from her.
Akane felt her ire rise again. "Don't underestimate me." she
exclaimed. "As I remember, I _did_ hit you this morning!"
He shrugged. "That's just 'cus I let my guard down. I
thought I was talkin' to a cute girl... didn't know you were a
violent tomboy built like a brick!"
Her brain went though a quick little loop. He thinks I'm
cute!, was its first reaction; that was quickly followed by, that
JERK! I'm gonna kill him!
"And..." he continued, an infuriatingly condescending tone
creeping into his voice. "... violent or not... you're still a
girl. I couldn't do it."
A low growl rumbled deep in her throat. Won't fight girls,
eh? She was a tomboy, eh? He didn't like water, eh? She raised
her bucket threateningly, eyes narrowed dangerously. Suddenly
realising he may have said just a _little_ too much, he backed
away nervously.
"W... wait..." he exclaimed. A moment later, he froze,
glanced past Akane, and leapt away with a yell, terror etched in
his features A bucket-worth of water splashed where he'd been a
second earlier.
"NEVER, Ranma Saotome!" yelled his assailant - Kuno, who was
once again out of uniform and wearing his Kendo garb.
Ranma landed next to Akane, their discussion forgotten, now
looking extremely angry. "What do you think you're..." he
started, before being cut off by the upperclassman.
"I SHALL _NEVER_ ALLOW..." he announced angrily, "...YOU TO
DATE AKANE!"
Akane wasn't too sure who looked more shocked: her, Ranma,
or the couple of dozen students who suddenly filled the windows
behind them.
"How _could_ you, Akane!" said one girl. "And you said you
_despised_ men!" They merely seemed surprised, some even happy
for her... on the other hand, the guys seemed a little more upset.
"How _dare_ you!" said one, while another muttered "Gee, he sure
is a fast mover... only been here a day!"
She tried to deny it. "Wait! It's not true!" she cried,
echoed by Ranma. But the students didn't hear her over their own
noise - and Kuno... Kuno didn't care. He charged forward, his
bokken slashing down in a savage arc. It cleaved through both of
Ranma's buckets, spilling their contents everywhere; Ranma barely
dodged in time, narrowly avoiding getting a total soaking. He
spun and sprinted down the hall, Kuno hot on his trail.
"Stand you ground!" yelled Kuno.
"This is no place for a fight!" answered Ranma, glancing over
his shoulder. "Follow me!"
"That I shall!"
The two charged down the corridor. A moment later, the
entire classroom clambered through the window and formed up behind
Akane. She looked at them in wonder as she started off in pursuit
of the fight. "This is _great_!" exclaimed a boy. "Ohhhh! And
the winner gets to go out with Akane!" squealed a girl. Akane
wasn't sure, but Ranma seemed to stumble at those words; she
couldn't be sure - she stumbled herself. She just couldn't
believe this was happening. She thought her day has started to
get better after meeting Ranko. Instead, this was turning out to
be a _terrible_ day... now she had two idiots fighting over her!
A teacher joined the horde, yelling something about not
running in the hall. They rounded the corner just in time to see
Ranma stepping up to an open window.
"Let's get outside! Follow me!" said Ranma, hopping through
the window.
"Fear not!" retorted Kuno, following.
But... but it's the third floor, screamed Akane inwardly.
Was Ranma _insane_? The teacher exclaimed verbally what she was
thinking, as the crowd gasped in excitement. Kuno let out an
'Ak!' when he saw the fall; Ranma merely turned and smirked.
"No sweat. I'm..." he started to say, then glanced down.
He screamed.
"Boy, lucky there's a pool down there." said one of the guys
looking out the window.
***
Akane rushed out of the school. She'd probably get in
trouble for skipping her class, but she felt that she should check
up on Ranma. He _was_ a bit of a jerk, but, in a way, it was her
fault that Kuno had attacked him. Not that she was exactly sure
what had happened during the brief fight... The two morons had
landed in the pool - Kuno had floated to the surface, face down -
everything had been eerily calm for several long moments - Kuno
started to drift towards the edge of the pool, obviously supported
by someone, presumably Ranma - Kuno came to and started to grapple
with his rescuer - and then it seemed that Kuno got a good hold
on his opponent. A moment later, Ranma erupted from the pool,
swinging Kuno overhead and slamming him into the ground, and then,
using the kendoist's head as a springboard, leapt away.
It had been hard to make out what had happened. Between the
distance, the glare of the sunlight off the pool, and the water
splashing everywhere, she had barely been able to make out Ranma's
escape. He'd seemed somewhat small, though, even considering the
distance. But she'd had a glimpse of red through the spray of
water - his shirt, she assumed - so it had to be him. She almost
laughed. Who _else_ could it be? Obviously her eyes had been
playing tricks on her.
She quickly crossed across the school yard to the wooded area
that lay beyond it. It was in this general area that Ranma had
leapt - but where was he? Akane stopped to listen.
"What a pervert." She could make out a voice, not too far
away. "I mean, he didn't have to squeeze that hard!" The speaker
was obviously angry - and obviously not male. In fact, it sounded
like...
"Ranko?" she called out.
"Akane?" came the answer - from above. Looking up, she saw
Ranko sitting on the branch of a tree, soaking wet, wringing out
her pants. The pig-tailed girl smiled, but it seemed rather
forced to Akane. "Fancy meeting you here..." said Ranko.
End Chapter Two
***
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Not yet written
<< commercial break ends >>
***
YAAH! Ranma
(Yet Another Alternate History)
Chapter Three
Where's Ranma? Ranko vs. Kuno!
"Fancy meeting you here..." said Ranko.
Akane looked up at the girl sitting precariously in the tree.
The redhead looked just the same as when they'd first met -
soaking wet, bangs plastered to her face, dripping pigtail draped
around her neck. She had her pants off and was currently giving
them a thorough wringing out. "Ranko? What are you _doing_ up
there?" Akane asked, thinking to herself, And how did you get _up_
there?
Ranko scowled. "Trust me, I ain't up here 'cus I wanna be."
"Yeah, but _why_ are..." Akane started, then stopped. It was
stupid, yelling up at her friend like this. "Listen, Ranko, can
you come down? I feel kinda silly talking to you up there." She
eyed the distance between the ground and her friend's branch - it
was a good twenty to thirty feet. "You need any help?"
"Not really." answered Ranko, and dropped herself off the
branch. Akane's breath caught in her throat, first in shock and
fear, then in amazement, as Ranko easy caught herself on a lower
branch, twisted off of it, and landed effortlessly a few feet
away. The girl casually flicked her pigtail over her shoulder and
reached out with one hand; a moment later, her pants fluttered
down into her waiting grasp. She flashed a small grin. "I think
I can manage."
"Wow..." Akane breathed. "That... that was pretty good!"
Ranko shrugged. "Eh." She glanced around, then looked back
towards the school towering just beyond the top of the trees. "So
why're you out here, Akane? Lookin' for someone?" She ended with
the slightest of smiles on her lips.
Akane nodded, suddenly feeling slightly worried. Ranma
seemed to have disappeared! He might be a jerk, and insulting,
but it was, in a way, indirectly her fault that he'd been in that
fight with Kuno; if he was hurt, she felt it was her duty to at
least check in on him. But where was he? "This guy at school got
into a fight, and I feel a bit responsible. He ran this way, but
I can't find him." It suddenly occurred to her that Ranko, from
her perch up in the tree, might have seen something, and she
turned to ask her if she had, but instead found herself asking a
different question. "Ranko, why are you wearing boxers?"
The redhead was snapping her pants out before her, shaking
out the last droplets of water. She paused momentarily to answer.
"What else would I be wearing?" she asked quizzically.
"Well...panties, of course! You _are_ a girl, aren't you?"
she said, and gave a small giggle.
"Panties" muttered the girl, and, oddly enough, Ranko looked
slightly disgusted for a moment. Then she glanced down at
herself. She blushed. "Oh... yeah. Panties. Of course. Ah...
got lots of 'em, really... Aheh heh..." she stammered. "But, ah,
they were all, um, dirty this morning." She quickly pulled on her
pants, turning away from Akane for a moment as she hopped into
them. "But, uh, yeah, I'm a girl alright! You betcha!"
What an odd girl, thought Akane. And she still hasn't told
me what she was doing up in that tree all wet. I thought she'd
gone back home... Ranko turned back to her, still looking a bit
flushed, and Akane went to ask her what she was doing here, when
a loud voice interrupted them.
"Wither Ranma Saotome?!" bellowed an all too familiar voice.
Akane sighed, turning towards its source. Striding across the
school yard with bokken held low was Kuno, hand raised to shield
his eyes from the sun. He was obviously in 'hunting-mode', and
his path was taking him in their general direction.
"Ranma? Is that who you were looking for?" asked Ranko,
looking over Akane's shoulder.
Akane nodded. "Yeah." She glanced at her friend. "Did you
see him?"
"I'm not sure... " answered Ranko with a slight grin. "I was
cutting through the bush when some guy came tearing by - almost
ran me over! I was so surprised I jumped up into a tree... which
is where you found me."
"That was probably him, then..." She turned back to the
approaching kendoist. "Well, might as well get this over with."
She stepped out from behind the bush, Ranko a step behind her.
Kuno noticed them immediately, his face lighting up with joy
at the sight of Akane. "Ah! Akane Tendo! Do you, too, search
for that coward Saotome?"
"Hey!" exclaimed Ranko.
"Sorry, sempai." answered Akane. "But he's gone. I guess
he took off."
"Bah! So he fled, did he?" said Kuno contemptuously.
"Obviously my reputation precedes me well!"
"Yeah, it's just a step behind your ego..." muttered Ranko.
Akane suppressed a giggle; if Kuno heard the girl's comment, he
ignored it. Instead, he brought his bokken up into a fighting
position. Akane took a wary step back.
"I'm not interested in fighting you, Kuno..." she said.
"Ah, and yet fight we must! For rumor has it that you were
defeated by Saotome... Vile rumor has it that _I_ was defeated by
Saotome... It is said that he may now _date_ you!. That is
unacceptable! I will _not_ allow it! But by defeating you, I
reclaim my position as your rightful love! I _challenge_ you,
Akane Tendo!" He smiled condescendingly. "And yet, do not
succumb too quickly, lest too easy victory robs me of its
pleasures. Although if your desire for me causes you to forfeit,
I will understand all too well."
"_What_ desire?" Akane felt herself getting angry. When
would this idiot ever learn? "The only thing I 'desire' is for
you to leave me _alone_!"
Kuno smiled knowingly, but turned towards Ranko instead of
replying. "Fair maiden.", he said, "I would wish no untoward
harm to fall upon you. One as delicate as you should not adorn
the field of battle - perhaps you should remove yourself some
small distance."
"He's right, Ranko." echoed Akane. "I'd hate to see you get
hurt. It's my fight - don't worry, I'll be ok." She spared a
glance at her friend. Her eyes widened as she took in the look
of growing anger etched in Ranko's expression.
"Thanks, Akane." growled the redhead. "But I think I'll be
staying." She took a step towards Kuno. "Listen, buddy, I've had
just about enough of this crap from you. You gotta problem with
Ranma, you take it up with him, ok? Or do you have a thing for
beating up on girls?"
Kuno turned his patronizing gaze on to Ranko. "The challenge
I issued was a proper one - but as one not acquainted with the
martial arts, perhaps you are not familiar with the ways of
honor." He seemed to become disinterested and turned away.
Ranko snapped. With uncanny speed, she leapt forward and
grabbed Kuno by the front of his kendo garb. "I know more about
honor _now_, then you _ever_ will!" she snarled. "And I won't
have you attacking my friend." She gave him a rough shove,
sending him stumbling back a few steps. "So just go away, got it?
Go track down Ranma... I'm sure he'd _love_ to have a rematch."
Kuno quickly regained his feet, seeming unruffled by the
girl's words and action. "And did you, perchance, see where that
boy in the pigtail went?"
Ranko shook her head. "No. But trust me, I'm sure he's a
lot closer than you think."
"Hah!" exclaimed the upperclassman. "And no doubt hiding as
well! Such a coward! Running from a fight; hiding from a duel!
Bah! He is no man! HE IS NO MAN!"
With each word Ranko face flushed a deeper crimson. "I'm not
gonna stand here and take this!" she said. She adopted a fighting
stance, eyes narrowing dangerously. "I can take you anytime!
Come on!"
"Heh. Amusing." He said, looking rather unperturbed, but
his eyes began to glow with renewed interest. Akane looked on
with worry; she knew that Ranko was a martial artist - at least,
she _said_ she was - but did she have any idea what she was
getting into by taking on Kuno? "Well. Should you win..." Kuno
started to say, but then sprang forward, his bokken a sudden blur.
"I will allow you to go out with me!" he cried.
If his attack was quick, Ranko's dodge was even more so.
"And who's asking..." she yelled back. "To go out with YOU?" And
as she sprang over Kuno's swing, she slammed her foot into his
head.
Kuno staggered back, his bokken slipping from his grip. He
looked, incredulously, at Ranko for a brief moment, and then he
slumped to the ground with a thud. Akane watched as Ranko
casually snapped the bokken out of midair with her foot, flipped
it to her hand, and twirled it up and onto her shoulder. "And
guess what, Kuno?" Ranko said, smirking. "Ranma Saotome's even
better than me!"
She turned away, glancing once at the stunned Akane. "C'mon,
Akane. Let's get out of here." Ranko started walking away.
Akane fell in numbly beside her.
"Yeah, but what about school..."
***
"So this is your place, huh? Nice..." exclaimed Ranko,
stepping through the large wooden doors set in the outer wall.
Akane watched in some amusement as her friend looked around the
property, taking in the house and front yard. She felt a certain
pride - it _was_ a nice house.
She nodded. "Yup. And the dojo's out back."
"Really?" asked Ranko excitedly. "Can I see it?"
"Sure! Follow me!" Akane led the way into the house,
feeling uncommonly happy. It wasn't the first time that she'd
brought a friend home; it _was_ the first time she'd brought a
friend home who'd been immediately interested in seeing the dojo.
The training hall was easily Akane's favorite part of the house,
but none of her friends understood _why_ - none of them understood
her interest in martial arts. But Ranko did.
They were almost immediately greeted upon entering the house
by an older girl with long brown hair, happy eyes, and wearing an
apron. "Akane!" she said, and turned to Ranko. "And hello to...
oh my! You're soaking wet! Did it rain?"
Akane giggled, while Ranko flushed in embarrassment. "No...
she just fell into the canal on our way here. But I guess it's
her fault for walking on the fence in the first place." She
finished taking off her shoes and stepped forward. "Kasumi, this
is Ranko, my new friend from school. Ranko, this is Kasumi, my
older sister."
Ranko stopped muttering something about being distracted and
gave a small bow to her host. "Ah... hello."
"It's nice to meet you, Ranko." said Kasumi in a pleasant
voice. "I welcome you to our home." Then a slightly disapproving
look entered her eyes. "But we can't have you running through our
house all soaked, can we?"
"Oh, you don't have to worry about it, sis! Ranko and I were
just going to go and spar in the dojo - she can wear one of my gi
while her clothes dry."
Kasumi nodded. "Ok. Akane, you go get your friend one; I'll
bring her to the bathroom, so she can change. No point in
dripping water all over the house!"
Akane ran upstairs while her sister led Ranko away. In a
matter of moments she'd torn off her school uniform and slipped
into her gi. She let out a contented sigh. Somehow, wearing a
gi just felt so much more... natural. Comfortable. She rummaged
through her drawers, quickly pulling out a slightly older and more
worn gi. It was a bit small for her now, but then again, Ranko
was a little shorter than her as well. She realized that she was
starting to get a little excited - it had been so long since she'd
sparred with another girl. Beating up dummies, or the guys at
school (they were pretty much the same thing, she thought with a
smirk), or even practicing with her dad, just wasn't the same
thing.
As she wrapped the slightly-ragged belt around her waist, she
thought about Ranko. There was so much she wanted to ask her -
so many things she _wanted_ to ask, but somehow kept getting
distracted from. She suddenly realized that she didn't even know
her new friend's family name - didn't know where she lived -
didn't know where she came from, or, aside from martial arts, what
her hobbies and interests were. They'd chatted a bit during the
walk home, but, looking back, it occurred to her that she'd talked
more about herself, and about Furinkan High, and Nerima in
general. Ranko really hadn't said much, just asked questions.
Then again, she _was_ new to town. It only made sense that she'd
be interested in her new school and town.
Anyway, mused Akane, giving her belt a final tug, that just
means we'll have more to talk about. Maybe I'll invite her over
this weekend for a sleep over... it'd be a great chance for us to
get to know each other better. And practice some kempo, of
course...
Scooping up the other gi, Akane left her room. As she headed
downstairs, she found her thoughts turning to the _other_ student
who had just transferred to her school... Ranma. Where had he
disappeared to? Somehow, he didn't seem like the kind of guy to
just run off like that. Then again, she knew virtually nothing
about him... knew nothing, really, except for the fact that he
studied Anything-Goes. She frowned as she remembered that she'd
never had a chance to ask him about that. Tomorrow, for sure, she
would.
"Is that the gi, Akane?" Her older sister's voice cut into
her reveries.
"Huh? Oh, yes, Kasumi." she replied, handing them over.
Kasumi quickly passed them over to Ranko in the bathroom. Akane
heard Ranko's 'thank you', and her friend began to change. A
moment later she stepped out, handing a bundle of sopping clothes
to Kasumi. Akane gave Ranko a quick look-over. "How does it
fit?" she asked.
Ranko smiled. "Like a gi, I guess. Good enough for
sparring, anyway. Shall we?"
Akane nodded. "Follow me!"
They stood opposite of each other, the shiny expanse of the
wooden dojo floor between them. Akane sized her opponent up.
Ranko stood relaxed, arms held loosely behind her, almost looking
demurely at the floor. Akane wasn't fooled. She'd seen her in
action, briefly, against Kuno. The speed, and agility, and skill
she'd demonstrated, both in jumping down from the tree and in
defeating the kendoist, proved that she was, indeed, a martial
artist. And Akane was glad - for once, she could fight without
having to hold back as much, without having to worry about hurting
her opponent.
"Just for fun, right?" she asked, and flashed a quick smile.
Ranko nodded, smiling back. Akane took a moment to gather
herself, to focus on her opponent... and then she attacked.
She crossed the distance quickly and opened with a simple,
straightforward punch. Ranko hopped over it. Akane followed with
a high roundhouse; again, Ranko sprang over it, her face never
losing that calm, innocent look. Alright, thought Akane, let's
try a little harder. Stepping in, she unleashed a short flurry
of punches. The redhead dodged each once, smoothly twisting aside
from each blow at the last moment; when Akane snapped out another
roundhouse, Ranko easily leaned back, allowing the kick to pass
through empty air.
Akane was getting frustrated. Why couldn't she hit the girl?
She was also getting upset. Why wouldn't Ranko strike back?
"What's wrong? Swing at me!" she demanded, hopping back a step.
Her opponent didn't respond and held the same relaxed posture.
When Akane moved in again with another set of punches, Ranko
simply leaned from side to side, avoiding each one.
"Why... Why am I missing her?" Akane eyed her opponent,
watching for any opening. There wasn't much point - as far as she
could tell, Ranko entire posture _was_ an opening... all she did
was just stand there! Yet every strike failed to hit. "Is she
reading my moves?" she wondered. She narrowed her eyes. Well
fine then... this time, for real!
With a sudden burst of energy, Akane hurtled forward,
smashing her fist towards her partner. For a second, a brief
moment, she thought that she would actually make contact; and
then, Ranko disappeared. Before Akane scarcely had time to wonder
where she'd gone to, she felt a light tap on the back of her head.
"Gotcha!" spoke a cheerful voice behind her, and she felt
another light tap on the back of her head. She froze for a
moment, then slowly turned.
Ranko gave a big smile and laughed. For a moment, just a
brief moment, Akane felt a little angry, along with a strange
sense of deja vu. But then, sensing the genuine nature of the
laugh, knowing that nothing nasty was intended by, feeling it's
infectious nature, Akane couldn't help but join in. And it felt
good. For once, for the first time in a long time, she felt
totally relaxed. She may have lost the match, may not have even
come _close_ to tagging her opponent... but it didn't matter.
For she had lost to a friend.
End Chapter Three
***
I have no idea when part four'll be out... soon, I hope.
C&C always welcome, too.
Same for plot ideas. I'm making thisup (mostly) as I go along,
so if there's someone specific you'd like to see this story go, feel free
to mention it!
-Mike Noakes