And the list of things that make you go "Hmmm..." goes on:

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell her she has the right to remain
silent?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that eats only
endangered
plants?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special
Olympics?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Enjoy the klassifieds........  Ken Kmiec


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Some things to think about.....................................

WORLD IDEOLOGIES  (Explained by reference to cows)

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows.  Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM
You have two cows.  The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows.  You have to take care of all of the cows.  The
government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes them and puts them in a barn with
everyone else's cows.  They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers.  You have
to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers.
The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you
should need.

FASCISM  You have two cows.  The government takes both, hires you to take
care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.  Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all
share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.  You have to take care of them and the government takes
all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM:
You have two cows.  The government takes both and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows.  The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  You neighbor decides who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows.  Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the
milk.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have two cows.  At first the government regulates what you can feed
them and when you can milk them.  Then it pays you not to milk them.  Then
it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the
drain.  Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing
cows.

PURE ANARCHY:
You have two cows.  Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your
neighbors take the cows and kill you

ANARCHO-CAPITALISM
You have two cows.  You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes.  The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons.

OLYMPICS-ISM:
You have two cows, one American, one Chinese.  With the help of trilling
violins and state of the art montage photography, John Tesh narrates the
moving tale of how the American cow overcame the agony of growing up in a
suburb with (gasp) divorced parents, then mentions in passing that the
Chinese cow was beaten every day by a tyrannical farmer and watched its
parents butchered before its eyes.  The American cows wins the competition,
severely spraining an udder in a gritty performance, and gets a
multi-million dollar contract to endorse Wheaties.  The Chinese cow is led
out of the arena and shot by Chinese government officials, though no one
hears about it. McDonald's buys the meat and serves it hot and fast at its
Beijing restaurant.