This is all three parts..
Terrence Marks
Second Student in the Tendo Kasumi School of Philosophy
-Seeking enlightenment through normalcy.
normal@grove.ufl.edu
[Note: I'm not saying who owns the copyright, just to see if
I'll get an irate call from lawyers or not. Oh..and there's
no explanation for why Soun is so wacky, I just think he's too
cool to be played straight. The Entomorph gets credit as
creative consultant or something similar, as this story is
kinda based on something he wrote called Dizzy Japan. Also,
this isn't the first fanfic that I wrote. It's the first good
Ranma fic that I wrote, though. One was a bad Ranma fic, the
other was a good spamfic.]
[Story notes: Parts 1 and 2 were released as Dizzy Japan.
It's been heavily edited [a lot of the bad jokes were taken
out] and given a new title. Why? Because I like this title
more. "Let the Wind Blow" is also the title of one of the
best Beach Boys songs.]
[Opening Theme: "Let the Wind Blow", by The Beach Boys. If
you don't like reading songs, just skip past it. Or buy the
album so that it makes more sense. I'd suppose that it
doesn't translate well to text. ie. The 'ah' part spans 11
notes and does a very good job of imitating the blowing wind.
Unfortunately, the ASCII character set doesn't have anything
that represents that.]
Let the wind blow (ah)
Let the grass grow (ah)
But don't let her go
Don't take her out of my life
Don't take her out of my life
Let the moon glow (Let the moon glow on the fallen snow)
On the fallen snow (Let the moon glow on the fallen snow)
But I just got to know (Let me please know oh oh oh)
Know she'll be a part of my life
Know she'll be a part of my life
Forever
Let the bees make honey
Let the poor find money
Take away their sorrows
Give them sunshine tomorrow
But don't take her out of my life
Don't take her out of my life
What would I do without her tell me now
Let the bird sing
With the coming spring
Let the church bells ring
Let the rain fall
Let the grass grow
Let the moon glow
On the fallen snow
But don't take her out of my life
Please keep her a part of my life
@STORY: Let the Wind Blow
[part 1 of 3]
[It is 7:40 PM. Ranma sitting on floor of the Tendo household,
watching a news program. Nabiki walks in and, ignoring Ranma
entirely, changes the channel to some low-quality game show.
Kasumi, Akane, Genma and Soun are out of the room. Akane walks
into the room from outside]
Akane: You know...it's getting really windy out there..
Ranma: Akane! I didn't hear you come in.
Akane: Oh. Looks like I'm just a bit more stealthy, then.
Ranma: [accusingly] Been training? Or does sneaking around
run in the family?
[Kasumi taps Ranma on the shoulder]
Kasumi: Maybe you haven't been paying close enough attention
to your surroundings.
[Ranma is startled and runs out of the room. Kasumi looks
slightly puzzled, then walks back to the kitchen.]
Akane: You know...maybe it isn't just him.
Nabiki: Maybe it's the rest of the world?
Soun: Aren't you going to be late for school?
Akane: School ended hours ago.
Soun: Oh.
Ranma: And I heard you come in, Tendo.
[Kasumi and Ryouga enter from the hallway.]
Kasumi: There was quite a wind outside, so I let Ryouga in.
He was wandering around in the backyard again.
Ryouga: I'll be fine, honest. I don't mind a little wind.
Akane: Are you sure? It looks more like a full-strength gale.
Ryouga: I've faced worse.
Kasumi: And a nasty rainstorm too.
Ryouga: [pales] Umm....maybe I could stay here for a while.
Akane: You're almost as bad about rain as Ranma is. You'd
think you had a curse or something.
[Ryouga's eyes glaze over. He has fainted but remains
standing. There's an uncomfortable silence for a moment, then
Akane notices Ryouga's condition]
Akane: Are you all right?
Ryouga: [feeling slightly giddy over the fact that Akane is
paying any attention at all to him] Yes...I'm fine [faints
again. This time he hits the ground]
Akane: Maybe we ought to take him to Dr. Tofu
[Ryouga snaps to attention and waffles around trying to think
of some excuse not to go outside]
Nabiki: It's not a good idea to drive around in this weather.
[Ryouga relaxes slightly]
Kasumi: I'll take him once this storm clears up.
Akane: Drive? I didn't know that we had a car.
Nabiki: Akane, there is *so* much that you don't know about
around here.
[Ranma enters the room]
Nabiki: Odd. I didn't think that there were tornadoes in Japan.
Akane: Are you sure that it's a tornado?
Nabiki: I know from tornadoes.
Ranma: Tornadoes?
[Ranma does that same sort of standing faint trick. Akane
shakes him out of it]
Akane: What's wrong?
Ranma: When I was little, Dad would always try and teach me new
techniques --
Akane: Like cat-fu?
Ranma: Exactly. One day he took me to the Tornado Training
Grounds. I had to stay in this cabin for a week --
Akane: What happened?
Ranma: The last night I was there, a giant tornado ripped
everthing to shreds. I barely made it out alive!
Soun: You were found the next day crying your eyes out. Genma
said that it wasn't even strong enough--
Ranma: Shut up! Where did you come from anyways??
Soun: You said you heard me come in.
Nabiki: Maybe he didn't really mean it.
Ranma: I meant it. I just forgot.
[Genma enters the room]
Genma: Ah, the Seven Noble Cyclones Training Ground story?
Soun: Yes, they didn't seem that noble, though. They seemed
rather small, actually.
Genma: The brochure was in German. Maybe it was the Seven
Tolerable Cyclones. Doesn't matter. The brochures never say
anything worth reading anyways.
[Ranma pours water on Genma. Instant Panda]
Ranma: [mockingly] You don't suppose that if you read a certain
Jusenkyo Brochure correctly, we might have a few less problems?
Genma-panda: [sign] The brochures _almost_ never say anything
worth reading.
Ranma: By chance...did the tornadoes look small because you
were, say, far away?
[Genma and Soun think for a moment]
Soun: Well...you know..
Genma-panda: [sign] Maybe...Just maybe.
Soun: They looked puny enough from a mile away --
Genma-panda: [sign] Right.
Ranma: [points at Genma] And I heard you enter the room.
[Genma responds by wittily eating bamboo shoots]
Akane: Look!
[They all look up and there out from the opening. There is a
giant twister about 20 yards away. Genma stands and makes a
mad dash out of the dojo with Soun. They are thrown through
the air. Ranma starts quivering in fear. Ranma tries to do
some very odd sort of kick, but fails. Ryouga tries to do the
same sort of kick and succeeds. The tornado slows down.
Ryouga repeats the technique, which text doesn't fully do
justice to. Ryouga shouts "Hibiki Wind Dissipation Kick!".
The tornado slows to a gentle breeze, depositing its occupants
onto the ground. The house, mysteriously enough, is back to
its normal, undamaged condition]
Ranma: [grabs Ryouga] How'd you do that? That was the
Anything Goes Rising Tornado Kick.
Ryouga: No it isn't. The wind dissipation technique has
been in my family for generations.
Ranma: How can it be in your family for generations? The
training ground is thousands of miles away from your family.
Ryouga: Well, my great-great-grandfather found the place on
the way to a picnic once. The technique has been with us ever
since.
Ranma: Pop, you told me that this had been in the Anything
Goes school for generations.
Genma: [sign] Well...generation.
Ryouga: [to Genma] You would steal the time-honoured Hibiki
techniques?
Genma: [sign] I didn't see a copyright.
Ranma: It was probably in the brochure.
[Genma smacks Ranma over the head with the sign. Genma and
Ranma start fighting. The fight drifts over to outside the
house. Why? So that the panda can dunk Ranma in the
fishpond. This is mandatory. Must happen at least once every
three episodes. If Ranma was smart, he would have moved the
fish into an aquarium and filled in the pond. However, since
the Pointless Gender Change is the main hook of the series...]
Ryouga: [sigh] First my lunch, then my love, and now my
techniques. [screaming] What of mine will he take next?
Kasumi: [pulls out a tray of food. Miraculously, neither
Soun, Ranma nor Genma grab it.] I could help you with lunch.
Akane: And I could help you with your tech--
Nabiki: And I could help you with your techniques.
Akane: I didn't think you knew martial arts.
Nabiki: You can't help but pick up a few things around here.
[Ryouga stands there in a *very* uncomfortable silence. Akane
is entirely oblivious to this. Akane thinks about what Ryouga
says for a moment]
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I just can't stand the way that he treats --
Akane: [angrily] That's just like Ranma to get between you and
Ukyou.
Ryouga: [puzzled] What about Ukyou?
Akane: Oh. Then between you and Shampoo.
Ryouga: No...Ranma's other fiance.
Akane: [surprised] You mean?
[Ryouga nods.]
Akane: How long has this been going on?
Ryouga: Ever since we've known each other.
Akane: And all this time I never knew?
Ryouga: I...I was afraid to tell you.
Akane: You have told her, haven't you?
Ryouga: Her?
Akane: Kodachi. Right?
[Ryouga's world collapses around him, like it usually does.
Akane is, of course, oblivious to this.]
Akane: Don't worry. I'll help you win her back.
Ryouga: But I--
Akane: No excuses. If you had faced up and told her how you
felt, you would have never had this problem. I'll think up
some sort of plan.
Nabiki: Want help?
Akane: Sure. All the help we can get.
Nabiki: Good. 15,000 yen and you've got a deal.
Akane: Tornado damage would have been about 200,000 yen. Way
I see it, help out and you only owe Ryouga 185,000.
Nabiki: I didn't agree to pay that.
[Ryouga sits around, watching the sisters use him as a
bargaining chip]
Akane: He performed 200,000 worth of services, right?
Nabiki: All right. I'll help you.
Akane: Good.
Nabiki: This reminds me. I'm missing a book of mine, entitled
"101 Fun Ways to Manipulate People". Have you seen it?
Akane: Nope.
Nabiki: I don't believe you.
Akane: Nope. Haven't seen it.
Nabiki: Maybe you can borrow it when I find it. You could use
help on chapter 57, "Lying".
Akane: "Lying" is chapter 58.
Nabiki: Hah!
Akane: [looks around nervously] Just a guess. Honest.
Nabiki: Keep the book until you've gotten better at chapter
32. "Weaseling Out Of Situations".
[Nabiki hands Akane a folded piece of paper and leaves]
Akane: Maybe she's gotten nicer [looks at paper]
[Show paper:
[in red]
200,000 Yen Credit: Dojo Maintenance
[in black]
10,000 Yen Library Services
20,000 Yen General Plotting
30,000 Yen Family Discount
-------------------
140,000 Yen Credit Total]
Akane: [glowering] She *charged* me for the family discount?!
Kasumi: [smiling] Well, at least you're getting a
discount....whether or not you wind up paying more for it.
Soun: Well, ain't she the vampire of mixed blessings?
Ryouga: I didn't hear you come in.
* * *
[Cut scenes. Next morning. Ryouga, Nabiki and Akane are
sitting around a table and plotting. Genma and Soun are
playing shogi in the background. Genma points at something.
Soun looks. Genma grabs two of Soun's pieces and eats them]
Nabiki: Their games don't seem to drag on so long, now that
Kasumi started baking chocolate-flavoured shogi pieces.
[Akane pulls out map of the Kunou estate and traces a path
through to Kodachi's Training Gymnasium.]
Akane: What do you think of the idea?
Nabiki: Depends...Ryouga..is your health insurance paid up?
Ryouga: I think it is..[catches the drift of Nabiki's comment]
Oh. So you recomend against it?
Nabiki: If I wanted to kill you, I would send you out on a
mission like this.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: You _ought_ to. You can't just give up on Kodachi
like this.
Ryouga: But I don't--
Akane: No excuses.
[Genma moves a piece. Soun points at something. Genma
looks. Soun takes the shogi board and replaces it with a
checkerboard. Soun moves a piece and jumps three of Genma's
checkers. Genma moves a piece onto the back row. Genma pulls
out a sign that says "King Me". Soun grabs the sign from him]
Soun: You aren't a panda, Tendo.
Genma: Sorry, Saotome. Force of habit.
[Ranma runs by and, for no particular reason, dumps a bucket
of water on Genma. Genma grabs the sign from Soun. While
grappling for the sign, Genma replaces the board with a
Battleship set-up. Genma flips the sign over to reveal that
it now says "B 3"]
Soun: [crying] You sunk my battleship!
Genma: Give up, Tendo?
Soun: Never, Saotome! C 5!
Nabiki: Well, the main problem with this plan is that everyone
will be trying to kill you.
Akane: Kunou won't,
Nabiki: Right. That isn't much better. I could try to get
him to help.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: It's ok. Don't feel nervous.
Ryouga: I'm not nervous.
Akane: You can admit to being nervous. This is a big thing.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: See. You're nervous. Why would Kunou help?
Nabiki: He has a vested interest in this. Trying to keep
Ranma away from his sister, you know.
Akane: But didn't he want to get Ranma with Kodachi?
Nabiki: Kunou-chan works in strange ways.
Akane: I'll help also.
Nabiki: But Kodachi wants to kill you.
Akane: Oh...Who else could help?
Ryouga: I don't need your help.
Akane: If you didn't need our help, you would have told her by
now. We need to help you get in and to make sure that you
don't chicken out.
Nabiki: Well, Ranma would only make things worse. Father and
Saotome are too busy in their game of --
[Soun points at something. Genma looks. Soun removes the
Battleship setup, and instantly gives himself and Genma five
cards and a number of poker chips. The panda is now wearing a
green visor.]
Genma: [Sign] Raise five.
Soun: Match and raise ten more.
Nabiki: their game of poker to help. Kasumi is out shopping.
Anyone outside of the family is too big a risk. Except for --
[Soun and Genma show their hands. Soun has a full house, aces
and threes. Genma has three aces.]
Genma: [sign] Why are there five aces in this deck?
Soun: I don't know...isn't that Happosai behind you?
[Genma turns and looks. Soun instantly replaces the cards and
chips with a Sorry board.]
Soun: I'm gonna make you sorry!
Genma: [sign] Nani?
Soun: And take that ridiculous thing off of your head.
[Genma sheepishly removes the visor.]
Nabiki: We'll leave later this afternoon.
Akane: Ok.
Ryouga: I don't want to do this.
Akane: Ryouga, I can't let you just ignore your feelings like
this. I care about you. It would just break my heart if you
didn't go through with this.
[Genma grabs the Sorry board and throws it out the window. He
replaces it with a Twister mat.]
Soun: Hey. I saw that!
Genma: [sign] Oh..sorry...umm...something behind you?
Soun: Oh. Ok.
* * *
[Let the Wind Blow, part 2]
[Cut scenes. Later that day. Nabiki, Ryouga, Gosunkugi and
an oddly shaped lamppost are outside the gates of the Kunou
estate.]
Ryouga: [to Nabiki] Why did you come along?
Nabiki: Because if we didn't, you'd chicken out or get lost
along the way.
Gosunkugi: I don't want to do this.
Nabiki: Don't you start that. One person whining about not
wanting to do this is bad enough, you know.
Gosunkugi: Just incidentally, does *anyone* really want to do
this?
Nabiki: That isn't important. What's important is that we go
through with this.
Gosunkugi: Oh. Ok.
Ryouga: Ok. What's the plan now?
Nabiki: Ring the doorbell.
Ryouga: Then what?
Nabiki: Wait for someone to answer.
Ryouga: Didn't we try that already?
Nabiki: Yes. Only this time, you don't run off screaming.
Ryouga: That was the part that I liked most, though.
Nabiki: Running away doesn't get you any closer to Kodachi.
Ryouga: That's why it's my favourite part.
[Gosunkugi calls Nabiki aside]
Gosunkugi: It sounds like he genuinely doesn't like her.
Nabiki: Nonsense. He's just trying to avoid it.
Gosunkugi: Are you *sure*?
Nabiki: You should see Ranma when we try to get him to ask
Akane out.
Gosunkugi: Are you sure that Ranma likes Akane?
Nabiki: Well, it seems that way.
Gosunkugi: It doesn't seem that way between Ryouga and Kodachi.
Nabiki: So what if it doesn't. Then she'll say no, and he
won't care. You get paid either way.
Gosunkugi: I'm not doing this for the money, it's just--
Nabiki: Ok. If you don't want to be paid, that's fine.
Gosunkugi: I want to be paid. It's just that that's not my only
reason.
Nabiki: What is your other reason?
Gosunkugi: If I tell you, you'll just blackmail me with it.
[They return to the group]
Ryouga: [sigh] So we do the same thing again?
[Nabiki nods]
Ryouga: How long do we have to keep doing this?
Nabiki: Until you ask her.
Ryouga: Oh. I was afraid of that.
Nabiki: Ryouga?
Ryouga: Yes?
Nabiki: I bet Ranma would be brave enough to talk to Kodachi.
I always figured you were the brave one. I guess not.
Ryouga: [angrily] I'll show you who's brave.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Gosunkugi: That's a new one on me.
Nabiki: Servant answers door, Ryouga runs screaming into
the...gymnasium.
Gosunkugi: Shouldn't we help him?
Nabiki: I suppose so. Gosunkugi, see how he's doing.
Gosunkugi: No.
Nabiki: Why not.
Gosunkugi: Kodachi might be in there.
Nabiki: Frightened of Kodachi?
Gosunkugi: Yes.
Nabiki: She can't be that bad.
[Gosunkugi look at Nabiki funny]
Gosunkugi: Yes she can.
Nabiki: Well, Ranma was probably exaggerating when he told me
about her --
Gosunkugi: He wasn't.
Nabiki: How do you --
Gosubkugi: You don't want to know.
Nabiki: Yes I do.
Gosunkugi: You know that thing I'm not telling you about? The
reason why I don't want to do this?
Nabiki: Yes.
Gosunkugi: That's what.
Nabiki: [thought] This mission is falling apart. I ought to
be able to pull this off. This is just a simple matter of
getting someone somewhere. Instead, I'm losing control over
my agent and I've lost my client. I should have just stayed
at home and had a hot bath.
-------------------------------------
[Ryouga and Kodachi are in Kodachi's training gymnasium.
There is a hole in the wall and some wall fragments on Ryouga.]
Kodachi: You ruined my gymnasium.
Ryouga: Sorry. I didn't mean to walk through your wall.
Honest.
Kodachi: The wall, I can forgive. You interrupted my training
routine. For that, you shall suffer. [maniacal laugh]
Ryouga: Would it help if I apologized?
Kodachi: No. [Kodachi grabs a hoop from the floor]
Ryouga: Is there any way I can make it up to you?
Kodachi: No. [Kodachi throws the hoop. Ryouga blocks with
his umbrella.]
Ryouga: I've said that I don't want to fight you, right?
[dodges ribbon]
Kodachi: Yes.
Ryouga: Just making sure. [takes a step backwards, trying to
find a door. He doesn't. A flying pin hits him on the head.]
Kodachi: Fight back. [tosses ball. He ducks.]
Ryouga: I'm not here to fight you.
Kodachi: We've been through that before. I still don't care
why you're here.
[swings steel bar at him. He blocks with umbrella. He tries
to back up even more, but there's a wall. This doesn't stop
him and he soon winds up covered with even more wall
fragments, and in the family study/barbershop.]
[Kodachi catches him from behind with a ribbon]
Principal: Hello, Kotchi. Who is this fellow you've brought in
here?
Kodachi: He came here uninvited.
Principal: No need to hide him from your dear old dad. He
seems like a nice kid, but his hair's too long. Come to think
of it, so's yours. If you're not busy -- [picks up scissors]
Kodachi: Actually, we were just leaving, right?
Ryouga: [nods dumbly]
Kodachi: Right we were on our way out, actually. Weren't we?
Ryouga: Umm..we...I --
Kodachi: He means yes. [glares at Ryouga] Don't you?
[Ryouga nods]
Principal: Ok. Have a good time, you two. I'll send Sasuke
out to escort you.
Kodachi: What?!
Principal: [to Kodachi] Anyone with hair that long must be
some kind of ruffian. I just don't want to you to get hurt.
Kodachi:....
Principal: Just humour your father.
Kodachi:....
Principal: Besides, you don't have a choice.
---------------------------------------------------
[Ryouga and Kodachi are walking down a typical Tokyo street.
Sasuke follow behind, trying to sneak around. Ryouga and
Kodachi look vaguely disinterestedly at each other.]
Kodachi: [whispered to Ryouga] Death is too good for you.
Ryouga: I didn't want to do this.
[Kodachi give him a we've-been-through-this-and-I-still-don't
-care-what-you-think look]
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I can leave now if you want.
Kodachi: [glares evilly. Very evilly] I don't like this.
But I don't like being stood up either. I don't think I could
ever live that down. And I don't think you could live it down
either. Got it?
[Ryouga gulps audibly]
-------------------------------------------
[Kodachi and Ryouga are walking down a typical Nerima street.
Neither of them look particularly happy. Sasuke is following
behind. He would be sneaky, but they both know that he's
there, so he's just sort of skulking behind and hoping not to
get hurt by either of them. About 20 feet [or 9 meters, your
choice] behind them are Nabiki and Gosunkugi, who are
following Kodachi and Ryouga.]
Kodachi: Now, I suppose that you'll treat me to a movie?
Ryouga: I hadn't thought about it, really, I'll [she glares at
him] I'll treat you to a movie.
Kodachi: That's so nice of you
--------------------------
Gosunkugi: Why are we following them?
Nabiki: Just to make sure that this goes well.
Gosunkugi: This is Kodachi on a date with someone. We both
know, in our hearts of hearts, that it isn't going to go well.
Nabiki: [thinks for a moment] True.
Gosunkugi: Isn't there something else that ought to be done?
Nabiki: Think of it like this: Something will go wrong, and we
get to watch. Free entertainment. There's Kunou-chan. I'll
keep him distracted while you follow these two, okay?
Gosunkugi: [confused] Okay. I thought that he agreed to
help us though.
[Nabiki ignores Gosunkugi and grabs Kunou. The two of them
slip inside a small cafe]
Gosunkugi: If she thinks that I'm following them around, she's
crazy. [sits down on nearby bench.]
------------------------------------------
[Ryouga and Kodachi are walking down the street. Ryouga is a
fair distance from Kodachi. Not an "another three feet and I
can sneak away" distance, more of an "I'm with this person but
trying not to show it" distance. Sasuke lurks behind both of
them.]
Kodachi: Are you trying to avoid me?
Ryouga: Well, I thought that you...
Kodachi: It's bad enough being stuck out here with *you*. But
being reviled also...
Ryouga: Oh. Sorry. [takes a step towards her]
Kodachi: Get away from me. Why do you think that I want to be
seen with you?
Ryouga: You just said that --
Kodachi: Do not tell me what I said. If anyone we know
walks by, we do not even know each other. Is that clear?
Ryouga: Yes.
[Soun Tendo walks by]
Soun: Hello Ryouga. Hello Kodachi. Enjoying yourselves?
Ryouga: No.
Kodachi: [to Ryouga] Is the company of Kunou Kodachi not
sufficient to entertain you?
Ryouga: Oh. Yes. We're having a great time together.
[Kodachi glares at him as he says "together"]
Soun: Ah. Together. Soon you will wish to build a family.
If you wish to build something, then you must have bricks.
Here. Take some bricks. [hands a pile of bricks to Ryouga and
walks off]
Ryouga: ...
Kodachi: What was that all about!?
Ryouga: Well, I thought that --
Kodachi: I *still* don't care what you thought or how you feel
about this. And *what* are you doing with those bricks?
Ryouga: Mr. Tendo gave them to me. Said something about
building a family.
Kodachi: You want to build a family? Hah! My answer is no,
and there's nothing that you can do to change that.
Ryouga: I wasn't going to ask you.
Kodachi: I'm not good enough for you to ask?
Ryouga: [angry] No. You aren't. You're an evil, contrary
shrew who has done nothing but scream and try to kill me.
Kodachi: How dare you call Kodachi Kunou a shrew!
[pulls out an assortment of weapons that would make Mousse
gasp. Ryouga starts to run, but stops after a few feet, as he
hears Kodachi sobbing softly. He stops, turns around and
walks back to her.]
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that. I'm not
trying to hurt you. Honest.
Kodachi: [sobbing] That's ok, I -- [hits Ryouga upside the head
with a club] Now. Don't do anything like that
again. Understand?
Ryouga: [shouting] I have had enough of --
Kodachi: [not listening] Gos-chan?
Ryouga: [surprised] Wha?
[Scene pans to reveal that Kodachi is looking at Gosunkugi,
who is sitting on a nearby bench]
Gosunkugi: Oh no... [gets up. Runs. Kodachi pulls a ribbon
out of nowhere and twirls it at him. Without looking back,
Gosunkugi grabs a hammer and nail, and nails the ribbon to a
nearby building.]
Kodachi: I see that you've improved, Hikaru. But the Black
Rose is not so easily overcome!
[Ryouga takes this as a cue, and starts running away from
Kodachi also. Gosunkugi hides. A few minutes later, we see
Gosunkugi in an alleyway. Kodachi is nearby, but doesn't see
him. Ryouga approaches him from the other side.]
Ryouga: What are you doing here?
Gosunkugi: I'm trying to escape from her.
Ryouga: Escape from her? Why?
Gosunkugi: You don't know why? [grins]
Ryouga: No, I don't.
Gosunkugi: Oh. Okay. [grins more] Well, Ryouga, here's your
chance to FIND OUT!
[Gosunkugi pushes Ryouga into Kodachi. Gosunkugi runs as fast
as he can in the opposite direction.]
Kodachi: Excuse me.
Ryouga: Yes?
Kodachi: Excuse me.
[Ryouga looks to see that his arms are wrapped around
Kodachi. He blushes and sheepishly removes them]
Ryouga: I didn't mean it like that. I can explain.
Kodachi: You've been saying that all night, you know.
Ryouga: I'm sorry.
Kodachi: You've been saying that all night also.
Ryouga: What do you suggest that I do, then?
Kodachi: Hmm. You could beg and grovel. No...that wouldn't
be very amusing. You could start by getting my ribbon.
Ryouga: Where is it?
Kodachi: Where Gos-chan left it, a block down the street.
[points direction]
Ryouga: Gos-chan?
Kodachi: I have decided to treat you mercifully. Don't push it.
Ryouga: Ok. Which way was that ribbon again?
Kodachi: [sigh] That way [points again]
[Ryouga heads off in that direction and appears again behind
Kodachi]
Kodachi: How did you do that?
Ryouga: I just headed in the direction that you pointed. I
didn't find the ribbon, though, so I got you this. [He hands
an object to Kodachi.]
Kodachi: Thank you. But *where* is my ribbon?
Ryouga: I couldn't find it.
Kodachi: You failed.
Ryouga: Well, I kind of....yeah.
Kodachi: I didn't give you the option of failure.
Ryouga: [thought] She's gonna kill me. No doubt about it,
she's gonna try and kill me.
Kodachi: This time, I'll go with you, to be sure that you get
it right.
Ryouga: Oh. That's it? Ok. [laughs nervously]
Kodachi: Were you expecting me to do something else?
Ryouga: I figured that you'd start screaming and attack me.
[more nervous laughter]
Kodachi: That would be unseemly. I don't know *where* you'd
get the idea that I would do something like that.
-------------------------------------------------
[end part 2]
**************
[Part 3:
Gosunkugi is walking dejectedly through some street.
He absentmindedly turns down an alley. Behind him
we hear voices..]
Kodachi: Are you sure that this is the right way?
Ryouga: I think that your ribbon is right around this corner
here.
[Gosunkugi breaks into a run. Unfortunately, the end of
the alley that he's running towards happens to be blocked
by a parked delivery truck. At this point, Kodachi notices
him and starts advancing towards him in a menacing fashion.
Gosunkugi looks around for someone to throw at Kodachi,
but can't find anyone..]
Gosunkugi: [draws a circle on the ground with chalk and lights
an egg on fire. A fairly small [10-20 feet tall] tornado
appears.]
Gosunkugi: [to himself] So *that*'s what that spell does.
[Gosunkugi smiles as the tornado envelopes Ryouga and Kodachi.
He starts to walks confidently out of the alley. Unfortunately,
he gets caught up in the tornado also.]
Ryouga: Hibiki Wind Dissipation Kick!
[yes, he performs the kick along with shouting the name.
Exit Tornado, stage out. Ryouga and Kodachi land on
their feet. Gosunkugi hits the ground with an unpleasant
sound.]
Kodachi: [puts an arm around Ryouga. Ryouga blushes.]
I'm glad I've got a REAL man to protect me.
[looks at Gosunkugi and smirks.]
[to Ryouga] Let's go, darling.
[Ryouga gets that blank "Some woman actually *cares* about
me" look that he usually gets when Akane speaks to him.
He and Kodachi leave the alley. We hear their voices
from offstage]
Ryouga: I think that your ribbon is this way.
Kodachi: I don't need the ribbon. I've got you to protect me.
I believe that you offered to take me to a movie.
[Gosunkugi slowly begins to grin.]
Gosunkugi: I'm FREE!
[We see Nabiki approach behind him.]
Nabiki: Free?
Gosunkugi: How'd you get there?
Nabiki: We Tendo's are good at sneaking around. Would
you like to tell me what that little incident with
the tornado and Kodachi was about, or should I blackmail
it out of you?
Gosunkugi: [sigh] I suppose I may as well tell you.
You see, before I lived in Nerima, I lived on the
other side of Tokyo. Due to a misunderstanding,
I was wandering through the halls of the St. Hebereke
school...
Nabiki: Isn't that a girl's school?
Gosunkugi: It was a *large* misunderstanding.
Nabiki: Go on.
Gosunkugi: Well, Kodachi was being chased by a wild
boar. I still don't know what a wild boar was doing
on the third floor of a girl's school, so don't ask.
They were coming towards me. Kodachi leapt over me.
The boar didn't. When I woke up, she thanked me for
trying to save her. We were a couple for a while.
It was nice having someone pay attention to me, but
eventually the monomaniac obsession became too much
and I broke up with her. Unfortunately, she wasn't
too keen on this....
Nabiki: And?
Gosunkugi: She's been trying to kill me ever since.
------------------------------------------------
[Ryouga is walking down the street with Kodachi glomped onto
his arm.]
- - -
[Ryouga and Kodachi are sitting in a theater, watching a
movie, "Harvey". The one starring Jimmy Stewart.]
- - -
[Ryouga and Kodachi split an ice-cream sundae at a small
parlour. It is very firmly nighttime.]
- - -
[Ryouga and Kodachi are again walking down the street, in the
glomp position.]
Kodachi: I'd suppose that I should be getting home soon.
Ryouga: Why?
Kodachi: Because it's getting late.
[Ryouga thinks about this for a little while, then nods.]
Kodachi: When do you have to be home?
Ryouga: Last time I was home, Dad said something about being
back by next September, but I think I could stay out until
January if I had a good excuse.
Kodachi: September?! Where are you staying for the rest of
the year?
Ryouga: I camp out.
Kodachi: You just pitch a tent under the stars and stay there?
Ryouga: Yes.
Kodachi: That sounds so romantic. I'll have to join you some
time.
[Ryouga nods]
Kodachi: But perhaps tomorrow night. They're expecting me
inside tonight.
[They enter the gates of the Kunou estate. Ryouga stops.]
Ryouga: Well, I suppose that I should be going now.
[Ryouga turns and starts walking away. A ribbon wraps around
him, and he is drawn back to Kodachi.]
Kodachi: No kiss?
Ryouga: I'm sorry. I hadn't...I haven't...
Kodachi: I just want a perfect end to this evening.
[Kodachi puts her arms around Ryouga and leans towards him.
She stops suddenly.]
Kodachi: You're doing this entirely wrong. I want this to end
perfectly.
Ryouga: What should I do?
Kodachi: [sighs] If you want something done, you have to do it
yourself.
Ryouga: Excuse me?
[Kodachi pulls out a small vial of powder. She opens it and
shakes it towards Ryouga. He inhales because he doesn't know
any better.]
Ryouga: I can't move.
Kodachi: Right. I just want this kiss to be done properly.
[Kodachi looks Ryouga over. She glances down and moves his
feet a few inches further apart. She places a hand on the
small of this back and corrects his posture. She glances
around and redirects several of the nearby lights so that they
shine towards him. Kodachi looks Ryouga over again.]
Kodachi: Almost. Breathe in.
[As Ryouga does so, Kodachi steps in and kisses him, the two
of them silhouetted against the screen. After a few moments,
Kodachi laughs and walks away.]
The End
[Closing song: "Sinister But Happy" by Robyn Hitchcock. I
think that it makes a very good Kodachi Theme. It's on "Moss
Elixer", one of Mr. Hitchcock's better albums [He's made about
30 albums]]
She was sinister but she was happy,
Basically she was the Jeanne Moreau type.
Sinister but she was happy
Sinister but she was always pleased to see you
and her living words were her dying words, she said "yeah"
Sinister but she was happy,
with a cheery smile and poison blowpipe.
Sinister but she was happy,
Like a kind of spider half-inclined to free you.
Her lopsided grin made it so hard to win, she said
"Oh, right you are, and your promises are just promises",
but a sinister little wave of her hand goes a
long long way in these troubled times.
Sinister but she was happy,
And you can't say that of everyone, now can you?
Sinister but she was happy,
like a chandelier festooned with leeches.
and she rode along, till she came on strong
"Oh, right you are, and your promises are just promises,
they're just promises"
But a sinister little wave of her hand goes a
long long way in these troubled times.
* * *
Epilogue:
[Morning at the Kunou Mansion. Kodachi walks outside. Ryouga
is still at the gate.]
Kodachi: You're here to see me again? How sweet. [she smiles]
Ryouga: I can't move.
Kodachi: (shocked) You can't move? Who did this to you?
Ryouga: --
Kodachi: I know. It was that horrible red-headed woman,
wasn't it. Don't worry. I know a cure. Let me take you
inside.
[scene fades with Kodachi dragging Ryouga into the Kunou
Mansion.]