Subject: Teh new AT&T
From: s982741@www.umsl.edu (Eric George)
Date: 1/15/1997, 8:32 AM
To: ewuerch@iquest.net
CC: chronos@southeast.net, sawkill@ihug.co.nz, fanfic@fanfic.com

Note: this was inspired by "Anime Night Live" written by Scriviner.

All characters are the property of their respective creators and are used
without Permission

AT&T is a trademark of American Telephone & Telegraph and is used with out
permission.

*****
AT&T
by Eric George
C&C: Kirpal Sukumar
*****

	"CUT!!"
	The director, Kal, looked over his cast, "Ok, people. I know we've been
here for twelve hours, but please try to get it right this time. Uh, where's
Happosai?"
	"In his dressing room," replied Kuno. "I believe he's trying to get into
his role."
	"Ok, ok, ok. Someone go and get him out here, pronto," Kal ordered.
	"I'll get him," offered Azusa. She headed off toward the dressing rooms.
She returned a minute later with a fierce-looking youma in tow. "Here he is."
	"PLACES, EVERYONE!" Kal shouts. "Lights! Camera! ACTION!"

Kuno (walking through a scene similar to the first scene in Oh My Goddess!):
As the vengeance of Heaven is slow but sure, AT&T's connectivity is fast and
secure.

Keiichi (picking up the phone): I think I'll have some take out ramen.
(Dials a number.) Hello?

Phone: You have reached the demon help line. Please press 1 if you want a
minor demon to for some killing. Press 2 if you want a demon to posses you
boss. Press 3 if you want a demon to posses you wife. Press 4 if you want
your children to be released from possesion. Press 5 if you want your soul
possesed. Press 6 if you have gathered some souls to sell. Press 7 or wait
on the line if you want to talk to a representative. If you need to speak to
a superviser, please press 666. If you have dialed a wrong number, it's too
late; you are now ours.

Keiichi: Uh oh...

Kuno (Opening a door to a girls' dorm): Are those of us who work for Anime
Telephone and Telegraph proud of our accomplishments? Are we not proud of
the reliable, fast service we have wrought for you?

Nene & C-Ko: Aiiiieeeee!! A PERVERT!! (They run off)

Shayla Shayla (glowering): Get out, you HENTAI!!!! (proceedes to pursue Kuno
down the hall, flinging energy bolts at him.)

Kuno (Clothing is torn with a body cast visible underneath, he's bruised and
limping through the common area of girls' dorm): Are not our rates the
lowest? Are not our operators the friendliest? These are the things we truly
value at AT&T.

Nanami: Well Makoto, as I was saying... Hello? Hello? (Clicks on the hook
button several times) Drat! (Stares in horror as tentacles come out of the
handset) Ayieeeeeeeee!

The tentacles quickly became a youma, which then ramapges through the girls
dorm, much to the dismay of its occupants.

Kuno (Walking through a room that looks like Nasa'a mission control): Our
connectivity has reached 99% on the first call, a mark which we are proud
of. When you need a reliable phone company, pick Anime Telephone & Telegraph.

Camera zooms in on an operator.

Mihoshi (smiling): AT&T. How may Mihoshi help you?

	"CUT! That's a wrap!" Kal shouted. He had given up on Mihoshi ever saying
'May I help you?' after the first 70 takes.
	Kal frowns, still hearing feminine shrieking from the stage. "Happosai must
still be in character," he muttered.
	"Happosai! I said cut!!" Kal bellowed.
	"That youma costume is soooo cute!" Azusa gushed.
	Kal started to bellow 'cut' again when he felt someone poking him in the
hip. He looked down and saw Happosai.
	"What the hell? Are you Happosai?" asked Kal. 
	"Yes, you nit, I'm Happosai," he grumbled. "Damn New Zealanders..."
	"Then what is that?" Kal inquired, pointing at the youma onstage. "Is it real?"
	"Yes boy, it's real"
	"Wh..wh...where did it come from?"
	"It said something about coming all the way from Maryland. Wherever the
hell that is," cursed Happosai. "I knew I shouldn't have used all my energy
training Ranma this morning."
	"Well, let's kill it or get it out of here," Kal replied.
	"DON'T YOU HURT LITTLE AZUSA'S Jean-Luc!!" Azusa cried, repeatedly clubbing
Kal with the director's chair.
	"Jean-Luc??" inquired Happosai and Kal
	"Azusa's cute youma. Isn't it sooooo cute!" she gushed.
	"But that youma isn't bald," observed Happosai.
	"Argh! Gimme the cel phone," Kal ordered. He dials studio security.
	Mihoshi's voice came thru the phone. "AT&T desu!  Ara, how may Mihoshi help
you? Mihoshi is confused!"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eric George (s982741@www.umsl.edu)
This was written on a Mihoshi Computer
Mihoshi Computers: Reliabilty Prevents Disaster