At 04:23 PM 1/13/97 -0500, Chihokodan@aol.com wrote:

Chapter 10: Get Into The Groove... Or Maybe Not

*Author's Note: Hmmm, I think I was planning to go in this fanfic where no
man had gone before, the girl's bathroom.  But honestly, I have NO IDEA what
goes on in there, and what they talk about.  It seems like they all
telepathically tell each other it's time to go to the bathroom, and off they

Not telepathically.  If a bunch of girls are in a group, and one goes for
whatever reason, the rest might just follow her rather than split the group. 
Or they might not.  Or someone might just suggest it ("Hey, anyone want to 
go to the bathroom?").

all go at the same time.  One can assume, they're talking about "us" in
there, us being the fine young men who write and read this fanfic... but I

Some girls do that, so they can talk about guys behind their backs.  At my 
high school though, most of the girls who went to the bathroom en masse went 
there to smoke or deal drugs.

Apparently most of the boys who went to the bathroom en masse (almost as 
many as girls) went there to smoke or deal drugs as well.  That's why the 
principal decided to lock all the bathrooms, and it's where I got the idea 
for the big locked doors mess in "Veritas".

dare not go there, it's no man's land as far as I'm concerned.  So instead,
I'm leaving the readers as clueless as Ranma, Ryoga, Kuno, Mousse, Jinnai,
and myself.

	All the girls in the party returned together, giggling like little school
girls.  It was an amazing sight... all the girls were actually getting along
well for once... even Kodachi seemed... cheerful.  Amy and Kodachi sat down

Don't have them be cheerful.  Have them be high.

at the table with their dates, right next to Ranma's table.  But Kuno and
Jinnai simply ignored them, and Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse returned the favor.
Shampoo was all too ready to reattach herself to Ranma's arm, redrawing the
fury of all the other girls, sans Amy.  And before you knew it, everyone was
back to their brooding selves.

They wouldn't just sit there, would they?  I thought they'd start fighting, 
or arguing about who was staring at who, or something.

choking in his throat.  Literally, Ryoga started choking and coughing very
hard to clear his throat.  All the blood he had sucked up in there wasn't
helping either.

He's choking on his own blood?  Why?  If it's a nosebleed again can't he 
just breather through his mouth instead?

buds, and especially the little silly girl with the Mars hair, Ranma ½!  I

How did you get 1/2 to be one character instead of three?