Chapter 9: Package F
Or
3x=1.5
*Author's Note: There's somethings I need to say before I start this part.
First of all, if anybody thought the writing was getting a little rough
the past two chapters, well, that's because they are.  I had to really
push myself to squeeze out the whole restaurant thing..., I had some
trouble.  But this chapter has just flowed out of me, and I think I've
gotten over my writer's block.  And more importantly, I think I need to
mention that 3x3 eyes characters are in this part.  They don't play a real
important or significant role, in fact, it really doesn't even matter
whether Pai is a Sanjiyan or Yakomo is a Wu in this part, but I really
like these two characters and wanted to see them together at a prom.  IMO,
the best thing about 3x3 is the romance between the two.  Again, if
anybody hasn't seen 3x3 eyes, go see it.  BUT DO NOT see the streamline
dubbed version of this.  It's almost a crime what they did.  Go see a
fansub if you can.  If you don't know who these people are, you can still
read it and enjoy it.  But you might want to check out a 3x3 eyes web page
just to appreciate these two wonderful characters.  I also want to mention
to the fanfic@fanfic.com ML that it's funny how so many 3x3/Ranma fanfics
popped up out of the blue at the same time I was writing this.  But I had
this planned out way before they came out. Okay, my "comeback" chapter
awaits!

	"Oh my god, how old is he?" whispered one person from behind them.
	"He's old enough to be her father," whispered another.
	"Should we call the police for child malestation," commented
someone from a nearby car.
	A waterfall of sweat was dripping from Soun's head as he stood
nervously pumping gas into the car.  Nervously because Ms. Hinako in her
child form was hugging onto his arm tightly as he did this.  "Cheap
school, they could have at least giving me a car with a full tank of gas,"
thought Soun.
	Soun was still wearing his old tux from earlier this evening, and
Ms. Hinako was wearing a long red dress that went down to her toes.  The
straps crisscrossed across her chest and around her neck, and drooped down
to her midback.
	"Oh Mr. Tendo, we're going to have a wonderful night," gushed Ms.
Hinako as she hugged his arm even tighter.  "Even though we're
chapperoning the dance, that doesn't mean we can't boogey woogey a little
ourselves," she chirped as she bounced her hip against his.
	The crowd in the gas station all gasped loudly at the sight of
this.
	"Whu?" startled Soun as he his head quickly spun around to see
accusing eye after eye focused on him.  "It's... it's not what it looks
like.  I mean, she's really not that little..., no, that came out wrong.
There's nothing between us..."
	"What?  Is that how you feel?  Am I just some plaything you're
going to toss away," whimpered Ms. Hinako as tears began to well up in her
eyes.  "I feel so... used."  She then turned her back on him as he could
hear her sniffling hard.
	"Oh my god, what a horrible man."
	"I could just see her heart being wrenched out of her chest."
	"That poor girl, get that monster away from her."
	As the condeming voices rose, Soun's tux became even more drenched
with sweat.  He soon realized that he was no longer breathing.  And
then... the gas nozzle clicked as the car was filled up.
	"Finally," exclaimed Soun as he opened the door for Ms. Hinako.
"I didn't mean what I said..., I mean, I did mean it but...  Look, we'll
have a good time tonight, okay?" comforted Soun as he patted her on the
back.
	She quickly turned around and gave him a big hug.  "I gurantee
we'll have a good time," chirped Ms. Hinako.  She giggled and let go of
him and scampered back into the car, arms and legs flying quickly the
whole way.
	"I think that was statutory rape."
	"Ahhhhh!  There's just no pleasing these people," screamed Soun's
mind as he hurried back into the driver's seat and sped off for Furinkan
High.

	Ranma and company had arrived at the Sheraton at 9:30, a good half
hour after it had already started, but it seemed most of the people were
just now arriving with them.  The group had informed the driver to come
back at 1:00 in the morning to take them out for a late snack before
returning to the hotel for the after party.
	As the crew gathered themselves together right outside the main
entrance of the hotel, a huge stretch limo parked itself on the driveway.
Who should emerge from the limo other than... some very pale white person
trying to squeeze out the door with Kuno?
	"Make way for thee and thy queen!" shouted Kuno as he finally
shoves his way pass Jinnai and out of the car.  As he got out, he slipped
on the red carpet and fell flat on his face.
	"Aaaahuahuahuahua," cackled Jinnai.  "And now, MY queen, the door
is open for you my dear."
	Before Kodachi had a chance to push Jinnai out of the way, Kuno
had already done so.  "My blue haired goddess, take my hand and let this
enchanted evening commence." 
	Amy took a hold of Kuno's offered hand and stepped out of the
limo.  "Thank you Kuno."  She then looked behind Kuno and saw Ranma's
party.  "Hi everybody," she greeted as she walked hand in hand with Kuno
to the rest of the group.
	Jinnai offered Kodachi his hand, but she just ended up slamming a
club into his face as she stept out of the limo.  Jinnai lay on the ground
with stars in his eyes.
	"Akane Tendo!  Truly you look as marvelous as my blue haired
beauty this evening!" proclaimed Kuno as he moved in to hug Akane.
	"What do you think you're doing!" roared Ryoga as he quickly
clotheslined Kuno.
	Kuno lay on the ground recovering from a crushed windpipe, but
only for a second.  "Fool boy, do you dare face the wrath of the shining
star of Furinkan High?  Come and fall before my might!"
	All the while as this was happening, Kodachi decided to throw some
fuel on the fire.  "Ranma darling, you look marvelous," gushed Kodachi as
she ran to Ranma and wrapped her arms around him.
	"Stupid crazy girl, get away from Shampoo date," shouted Shampoo
as she threw Kodachi off Ranma.  Kodachi spun in the air and landed evenly
on her feet.
	"Oh, so the Chinese hussy wants some trouble does she?" threatened
Kodachi as she drew a pair of clubs.
	"Shampoo ready."  She moved into a fighting stance.  Even in her
dress, she looked dangerous.
	"What our you haggling over that boy for...," interrupted Jinnai
but he was silenced when she slammed her clubs across his face yet again.
	"Okay, this is beginning to look ugly," muttered Ranma as he
attempted to tip toe away into the hotel.
	"Ranma, not so fast," instructed Shampoo as she tugged at Ranma.
"Shampoo so happy Ranma so eager to dance, but we take pictures first!"
She then pointed to a line that had already poured out of the hotel
outside.
	"We have to wait... in that line?" sputtered Ryoga?
	Kuno quickly stepped in front of the group and declared, "Heh,
waiting is only for lesser people.  The great Tatewaki Kuno and his bon
vivant shall not long wait for the pathetic poses of the masses.  Depart
commoners and make way for the blue thunder!"  Kuno then began running
into the line swinging his sword rapidly to swat aside all who got in his
way.
	"Hey, watch it!" yelled a man as Kuno blew past him.
	"My dress!"
	"What do you think aaaaah!"
	"Do something honey!"
	"Aaaaah, my eye!"
	Kuno quickly cut through the crowd as they all either screamed
profanities at him, or cried out in pain.  Suddenly, he reached a slim
eyed man who had peculiar looking young girl in his arms.  Kuno was
distracted for a mere second, which was enough for the man to quickly
stick his palm out and let Kuno's head run right into it.  Kuno's head
snapped back as he lost his traction and fell onto his back.
	"Sorry mister... I didn't mean to hit you so hard..., are you
alright?" apologized the man as he offered his hand to lift Kuno back up.
	"Kuno slapped his hand away with his bokken.  "So you dare
challenge the might of the kendo master?  Prepare to witness my fury!"
	"I'm sorry sir..., it looked like you were going to hurt
someone..."
	Before Kuno could get up and attempt to smash the young man's face
in, Akane had stepped on his head as she exclaimed, "Yakomo, you look
great today!  Is this the mysterious girlfriend that everybody has been
buzzing about?"
	"Um, hi Akane.  I'd like you to meet Pai."  He presented a short
girl to her.  The young woman was wearing a cute, strapless, black dress.
It was frilly around the shoulders, and had a flowing dress at the end,
somewhat poofy.
	"Hi!  You Yakomo friend.  You all Yakomo's friends too?" she asked
as she looked at the rest of the group.
	"What's up Yakomo, Pai," Ranma said as he shook his hand.  "I've
just seen him around.  He only transfered here a couple of weeks ago.
What school do you go to?"
	"Pai no need go to school.  Pai knows alot already.  I'm a sanjyan
after..."
	Yakomo quickly interrupted her before she could finish.  "Um, she
means she's a... um... she's... she's from Shanghai... that's it.  They
have a much quicker education in China, she's learned everything Japan's
high school's can teach," sputtered Yakomo as sweat dripped off his
forehead.
	"But I thought Tokyo had a much higher ranking in education than
Shanghai," questioned Amy.
	"Um..., my, look!  It's almost our turn to take pictures!" replied
Yakomo nervously as he took a hold of Pai's arm.  "Um, we'll see you guys
inside."  He then hurried off to a desk to fill out forms for the
pictures.
	"Okay, I wonder what's he hiding," remarked Ranma.
	"Yakomo told me he had some trouble from his old school, and then
he had to drop out for a year.  He has an odd history, but I don't think
we should ask him about it," Akane told them.
	"Mrrmmmmph!" muffled Kuno as his face was still pinned down by
Akane's heel.
	"Oh, I'm sorry Kuno, I forgot about you there," she said as she
took her foot off.
	Amy helped lift Kuno back up to his feet.  There were lines across
his face matching the pattern of the tiles on the floor.  "You okay Kuno?"
	He quickly ran his hands through his face and hair and he was
restored to normal.  At least physically if not mentally.  "Look at how
the coward flees from my might.  I shall spare his heathen hide, for
tonight shall be the most marvelous night yet in my eventful life."
	As the line moved forward, Ranma found himself handed a small
green form the size of a postcard.  It read "Photo Form."  Ranma's eyes
bugged out when he noticed the prices for the pictures.
	"WHAT!?  Fifty thousand yen for some pictures!!!"
	"WHAT!?" yelled back Mousse as he snatched the card from Ranma.
"I'm not paying this much money for some dumb pictures with the tomboy!"
	Mousse suddenly wondered where the bowling bowl had come from.
And how to get it out of his mouth.
	"Hmph.  I would pay significantly more than a mere 10,000 yen to
freeze this grand night forever," proclaimed Kuno as he shoved past them
to the front of the line.  "I shall purchase the most expensive package
they have!"
	"He's paid much more than 10,000 for pictures thanks to Nabiki,"
thought Akane.
	Ranma looked at the card again.  "Package A: 200 wallets, 2 5x5
five's, 2 really big ones, 2 wall sized ones, two keychains, 2 memory
books, and 1 life size stand up."
	"Ranma, money no object for Ranma's love for Shampoo right?"
	"Um, actually...,"
	Shampoo's voice changed to a low growl.  "Shampoo say, money no
object for Ranma's love for Shampoo, RIGHT!"
	"Um, I guess not, but let's get a smaller package..., um, how
about this one," Ranma told her as he pointed to something called Package
F.
	"2 wallets...," read Shampoo.
	"Go on," ordered Akane.
	"Nothing else, 2 wallets only.  Ai ya!  Still cost 1,000 yen."
	Ranma opened up his wallet and found it as light as he had
expected.  "Um, Shampoo, you know I'd love to buy you package A, but...,"
he trailed off as he showed his nearly empty wallet to her.
	"No problem Ranma, Shampoo happy with just Package D," she said as
she hugged Ranma.  "But Shampoo know Ranma would buy Shampoo life size
stand up if Ranma not so poor bum."
	"Package D," wondered Akane as she read the card.  "1 big one, 2
5x5, 20 wallets, and two key chains... that looks good Ryoga, and only
2,800 yen," remarked Akane.  She then turned to look at Ryoga who was as
pale as a ghost.  "Is something the matter Ryoga?"
	"Pictures... cost money?" sputtered out Ryoga.  "When did that
happen.  And not just money... but ALOT of money..."
	"Ryoga, if you can't afford it, I wouldn't mind paying for them,"
interjected Akane.  "You paid for dinner (all 5 bucks of it), so it's only
fair I pay for this."
	"No, no, I wouldn't have you pay for anything tonight Akane... I
couldn't let you do that," Ryoga quickly said as he grabbed her arms from
fiddling with her purse.  "It's no big deal... Heh, heh, I was just
surprised is all."
	"I guess there goes my dinner for the next week," he thought.
"Back to catching rabbits again."
	"My dear Kodachi Kuno, shall we indulge ourselves with package A?"
questioned Jinnai.  A ball shoved into his mouth shut him up before he
could say another word.
	"What makes you think I want any damn pictures with you anyways?"
snapped Kodachi.  She then grabbed Ranma's arm again and looked at him
with puppy dog eyes.  Albeit a dog with rabies...  "Won't we be taking any
pictures together Ranma sweetums?"
	Shampoo then began tugging on Ranma's other arm.  "Stupid crazy
girl, Ranma take picture with his date!"
	Ranma actually collected his senses enough to quickly announce,
"Um, no, sure I'll be taking a picture with Kodachi.  In fact, we'll all
be taking a picture together," he said as he showed them the green card.
"It's only 5,000 yen a couple for group photos... and each couple gets 10
wallets and 2 5x5... see?  So um..., I guess I'll fill the card out now."
He then nervously wrestled his arms loose from both of  them and went over
to the table and began filling out the card.
	Shampoo and Kodachi were left standing there with their arms
empty, both exhaling a loud "Hmph!" at the same time as they crossed their
arms.
	"Um, we don't have to get it if you don't want it," softly stated
Ukyou.
	"Well, do you want it?" asked back Mousse.
	"I don't want it if you don't want it."
	"Well, if you do want it, I guess it's okay."
	"But I don't need it if you don't want it."
	"Well, I don't want it but I can get it if you want it."
	"I said we won't get it if you don't wish it!" shot back Ukyou,
her voice rising.
	"Fine!  We'll get it if you want me to want it!" snapped back
Mousse.
	"Fine then!"
	Ukyou and Mousse then stood silently together as they waited in
line behind everybody else.  Even though Ukyou couldn't admit it, she was
glad that they had settled to get the pictures.  She really didn't know
why.  She sure as hell wasn't at all interested in Mousse.  But for some
reason, she wanted to get these pictures.  After all, a prom without
pictures is like eating hamburgers without fries.  And somewhere inside,
she wanted to make the most out of her junior prom, even if her choice of
dates could've been better.  This was her only junior prom, and god help
her, she wanted to have a good time... just not with Mousse.
	As each of the couples gave the cashier at the desk their cards
and thousands of yen, they were then marched out of the hallway into the
picture room.  As they entered the room, they saw three backgrounds
propped against the wall with a camera and photographer in front of each
one of them.  Two of the backgrounds had a beautiful starry night
backdrop, with mock ivory columns framing the sight.  Large vases of
flowers were placed upon each column, all of which were above a sheet of
white carpeting the floor.
	"Next!" yelled the photographer as a couple finished with their
session.

	"Mr. Tendo, do you mind if I called you Soun?" asked Hinako.
	"No, that would be no problem at all," responded Soun.
	She hugged him tighter when he said that.  They were both slow
dancing to Aaliyah's "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number."
	"Soun, would you like it better if I turned into adult form?"
	"No, either form is fine.  Besides, wouldn't you have to drain
some chi to do that?  We wouldn't want to cripple anybody do we?"
	Hinako's head barely scratched Soun's chest from this height.  Her
arms couldn't even wrap around his neck, while he couldn't reach down low
enough to wrap around her waist.  They held each other backwards, his on
her neck, her's on his waist.
	"Soun, I'd make exceptions for you," she said as she looked
straight up at him.
	Soun laughed nervously.  "It's no problem Ms. Hinako.  I really
don't mind."
	"Soun... I hate dancing like this...  I feel like a little kid
who's in over her head."
	"If it would make you happy, you could... drain some from me..."
	Hinako's eyes lit up.  "Do you... really mean it?" startled
Hinako.
	"If it would make you happy."
	Hinako held out a five yen piece and quietly chanted "Yako No
Taiso," and Soun suddenly felt himself weakening, but just a bit.  When he
looked again, the full figured adult shape of Hinako was in his arms.  The
dress that was down to her feet, was now a mini skirt, her cleavage bulged
against the fabric, and Soun thought he was going to faint at the sight of
all this flesh.  The fact he was low on chi didn't help.
	Hinako wrapped her arms around his neck, and Soun wrapped his
around her waist.  In her husky voice, she told him, "Now, we start doing
this right."

	Where there was once three sets, only one and a half remained.
Akane couldn't believe how some simple pictures would result in so much
chaos.  She turned around to look at the last set they had taken pictures,
the group one.  There was a large hole in the middle of the staircase like
podium, the carpeting had been ripped, and the cashier lady was still
trying valiantly to put out the flames of the drapes with a fire
extinguisher.
	First, stupid Mousse had to charge Ranma, which in turn, led Ukyou
to charge in as well.  Apparently, he didn't appreciate the where the
photographer had placed Ranma's hand on Shampoo's hip.  In fact, she
didn't appreciate it all that much either.  And neither did Ukyou.
Luckily, one swift punch by Shampoo had knocked Mousse back into the other
background.  Where Ukyou picked up the dazed Mousse to get their damn
pictures over with.
	Lo and behold, who would show up other than Tsubasa, his arms,
legs, and head popping out of the camera somehow.  She still wasn't sure
how he had even managed to get there.  He dashed at Mousse only to have
Ukyou smash a vase on top of his head, and throw his body in a random
direction somewhere.
	And then they had the group picture.  She should've known that all
of them together so closely would only bring trouble.  It was like taking
bottles of nitrous and start banging them against one another; sooner or
later, something was going to explode.  This something turned out to her
lovely date Ryoga, who overreacted when Kuno and Amy were placed right
behind them in the picture.
	"Ah, my dear Akane Tendo, perchance we can freeze at least one
moment of this enchanted night arm in arm," babbled Kuno when he wrapped
his arms around her from behind.  And that didn't go to well with Ryoga.
	"What do you think you're doing!  Get away from her!" Ryoga had
shouted when he tore Kuno's arms off of Akane.
	"A lowly derelict such as yourself dare touch the wonder that is
I?  That shan't be, prepare to fall before my might!" Kuno had cried as he
pulled his bokken off a holster that was on his back.
	Akane remembered how she had tried to stop the fighting, but next
thing she knew, Kuno had swung his blade and had trimmed a hair or two off
her head.  Then Ryoga really lost it.
	Wasting no words, the enraged Ryoga Baksie Tenkitzed the podium
where Kuno was, who had barely leapt away from the blast.  Kuno regained
his footing and slashed at Ryoga.  Before long, Ryoga got mad enough to
charge up a chi blast, and launched it at Kuno.  Kuno would have been
smashed if a fairly furious Amy hadn't grabbed him by the collar and
smashed him down against the podium.
	"Kuno... take me home NOW!" she had screamed, and Kuno responded
with clueless dialect asking her what was wrong.  However, when she moved
Kuno, the chi blast kept flying and ended up smashing against the
backdrop.  Some of the lights fritzed, and next thing you knew, people
were running around with fire extinguishers putting out an inferno.
	And here they were now, sitting on the bench while Jinnai tried to
haggle a refund out of the photographers for not taking an appropriate
group picture.  Akane looked around to survey the scene.  Kuno was talking
to Amy, apparently trying to get on her good side while Amy ignored him.
Akane couldn't help but feel a little glad that Amy was getting Kuno out
of her hair.  
	Ryoga was sitting next to her quietly, just staring at the ground.
She realized that Ryoga never meant any harm, but his ineptness was
beginning to irritate her.  She had told him that it wasn't his fault,
that it was really Kuno's fault, but she couldn't help feeling an anger
inside her when she thought about it.  Seriously, was a chi blast really
necessary?  Not to mention what happened when the photographer apparently
put him and her a bit too close together.
	And then there was Ranma and Shampoo sitting next to each other on
some chairs, with Shampoo hugging tightly onto Ranma's arms.  Ranma sat
there with a nonchalant look on his face, apparently very bored of the
evening so far.  "Stupid jerk," thought Akane.  "What does he think he's
doing?  Letting her gush all over him like that, and then pretending like
it was no big deal."
	Finally, she noticed out of her peripheral vision Kodachi, Ukyou,
and Mousse all staring wickedly at Ranma and Shampoo, looking like they
were ready to separate the two by any means possible if she got any closer
to Ranma.  She kept thinking how much more miserable those three were to
be here with people they couldn't stand, only to watch someone else get
close to their love interest.  And then a scary thought occurred to her.
She was staring wickedly at the couple herself.  She shook herself out of
this stupor, and turned her attention to wiping the blood from Ryoga's
nose off her dress.
	"Aaaaaahuahuahuahuahua," laughed Jinnai as he took a handful of
money out of the photographers' hands.  "I, the great Tatsuhiko Jinnai has
not only procured a full refund of our group picture, but managed to still
receive our ordered group pictures, as disdainful as they might be."  He
then offered his arm to Kodachi.  "Shall we finally get the show on the
road my dear?"
	Funny how some people didn't learn.  Perhaps he wouldn't stick his
arm so openly to Kodachi again now that she had stuck a spiked club into
his forearm.
	"Finally!  I get to move around...  Come on Shampoo, it's time to
dance," proclaimed Ranma.
	At just about the same time, most everyone in the group excluding
Ryoga and Akane, Amy and Kuno, and Ranma and Shampoo had the same thought
flash across their minds.  It was time to put their plans into effect, it
was time to break Ranma and Shampoo up by any means possible.

*Author's Note: I've decided to trash that Va and Vb crap and just
released it as Parts V and VI, so there's no little editorial thing here
at the end of this part.  I mean, there is I guess, but... aaaaah, you
know what I mean.  I'll just quickly mention this time that all comments
be mailed to chihoodan@aol.com or schi@uci.edu.  Jya Ne!