On Sat, 11 Jan 1997 18:04:22 -0800, Henry J. Cobb wrote:

My style is extremely unstable at the moment, but I still think that
mixing tenses:

   "This is the worst he had ever been."

is not the best way to have been putting it.  (This will definitely
require a second pass)

You're absolutely right, I screwed up. I meant to say
"This was the worst he had ever been."
Apologies, and thanx to Dave Eddy for pointing this out to me.

The seduction of Kasumi is important, (it leads directly to my
conclusion.  Which is now in sight, thank goodness ;-), but I guess I
could make it a lot more subtle. (It would increase the shock value in
chapter omega minus one or two when this comes back.  Oh, yeah, that's
what happened back in chapter six, I get it now!)

I would at the very least take out the "Ugh!"

Janken: "The game of `paper, scissors, stone'"  (This is yet another
Sailor Moon S reference that everyody's overlooked!)

Mallet smashes everything! <BAM!>

Gary

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics