The Guide looked nervously at his new customer. The man did not seem to
have what one would call a demeanor of intelligence and restraint, and
the Guide was nervous about taking him to such a dangerous place as
Jusenkyo. But the man had his heart set on visiting, for some reason,
and there was no dissuading him.

"Ohhh... are we *there* yet?" he whined. "I'm getting hungry!" As if to
confirm this, a loud growl emerged from his well-sized stomach.

"Not much farther, sir," replied the Guide. "We come very close now to
Training Ground of Cursed Springs."

The Guide spared his customer another nervous glance. He didn't look at
all well. He must have been severely jaundiced, since his Caucasian skin
had an even more pronounced yellow tint than the Guide's Chinese skin.
With a shudder, the Guide noticed that he only had four fingers on each
hand.

He ran those four fingers through the two hairs which sat atop his head,
the sole adornment on an otherwise-hairless pate. "I'm tired of this
tromping through the woods, like some kind of... tromping thing. I want
to get there *now!*" And with that, the man took off at a run, crashing
through the undergrowth as he did so.

The Guide tried to stop him. "Oh, Sir! Please, slow down! Very bad you
fall in spring!"

There was no reply. The Guide listened for, and heard, the inevitable:
the sounds of a man running through dense growth, then a muffled splash,
then a feminine scream.

Pushing his way through the woods that he knew so well, he found his
customer bobbing in one of the more notorious pools. "Ah, Sir! You fall
in Nyaniichuan! There very tragic story about girl who drown in spring
1200 years ago... and now, whoever fall in spring take body of girl. Is
very cursed spring!"

The once-male customer looked down at her new body, then up at the sky.
And there rang through the Chinese forest a feminine but familiar cry:
"D'OH!!!"

--JSH