A PEACEFUL LIFE

		      A Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
			     by Gary Kleppe


This is an Alternate Universe fanfic. Any comments of any type will be
appreciated.

	The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful
property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission.
This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered
substantially or used for profit in any way.

        "I'm Ranma Saotome," I said. "My wife and I run the Anything
Goes School of Martial Arts. We took over the school from our fathers
when we got married."

        "Pleased to meet you, Saotome-Sensei," the woman said with
practiced politeness. "I am Tanaka Ritsuko. My son Kota is interested
in taking some lessons from your school."

        "You bet!" said the little kid. "I want to study from Akane
Tendo. I've seen her on the TV news. She kicks a--" His mother cut him
off, still smiling and trying not to show how embarrassed she was. I
tried not to chuckle.

        "You're gonna have to study from me first, sport," I said.
"Akane teaches the advanced classes. It'll be a while before you're
ready for that." My ego was still a little bruised by being reminded
of this, even after all this time. But that's the way it had to be. I
couldn't take chances after my injury...

        "I'm sorry, Sensei." Mrs. Tanaka was probably working hard to
resist the urge to clobber her son. Having kids of my own, I knew what
that was like, but I also knew how much fun they could be. "Kota, you
are going to have to show proper respect for Saotome-Sensei and his
wife, or you won't be able to take lessons from them."

        "Hey, don't worry about it," I said. "Actually, though, Akane
isn't my wife," I said. "She's my sister in law." Mrs. Tanaka
apologized to me again. At that time my wife came in, carrying our
youngest and two bags of groceries. I took the groceries from her, and
she gave me a peck on the cheek like she always did. She gave a big
smile to our visitors.

        "Why hello! You must be Mrs. Tanaka and Kota! We spoke on the
telephone. I'm Ranma's wife. My name is Kasumi!"

                               *********

	Kasumi went into the kitchen and started putting away
groceries. I tried to help, but as usual didn't remember where most of
the things were supposed to go. Our family dog came over and, as
ususal, started to pull on Kasumi's skirt. "Happy, no!" I scolded him.

	"I met your old girlfriend at the market today," Kasumi said
to me, leaving me confused. "You know, the one who's married to your
friend Tatewaki Kuno. She's really such a sweet girl." She smiled at
me, and I realized I was being teased. "We ought to have them over for
dinner sometime."

	"Oh, her. I guess she is now, but she was anything but sweet
to me when I first met her." I started to think about those early
days. I once heard of an old Chinese curse, 'May you live in
interesting times.' That's how it used to be for me. I'd picked up
that curse, along with another more obvious Chinese curse, when Pop
had taken me to the cursed springs of Jusenkyo all those years ago.
After that, my life was about as interesting as a life could possibly
get. Not any more, though.

	Nerima had used to be a nuthouse, now it was a quiet suburban
area. Not that weird stuff didn't still happen here, but in the old
days I was usually in the middle of it. Now it was someone else every
time, usually Akane.

	Yep, for me it was a quiet, peaceful life these days. I had a
job that's pretty easy and a lot of fun. I had a nice house, four
wonderful kids, and a wife that just about any guy would envy. Though
Kasumi had had to take care of the dojo for all these years, though
she had given birth to two children and adopted two more, she still
looked every bit as pretty as she did when I first met her...

				=======

	"Pick the one you want," Soun Tendo said. "She's your
fiancee."

	Wouldn't let me pick 'none of the above', I thought, would he?
Not that his girls weren't attractive. Each one was beautiful in her
own way. But I had no desire to decide the rest of my life right then
and there. Not only that, thanks to the cursed spring Pop had knocked
me into, I was a girl myself at the moment. Deciding whom to marry was
the last thing on my mind.

	"Oh, he wants Akane," said Kasumi.

	"Definitely," said Nabiki. This did not do wonders for my
self-esteem, to have these girls trying to pawn me off on each other.

	Akane put her hand on Kasumi's shoulder. "You're being too
modest, sis. Ranma, here is the ideal wife. She's sweet,
even-tempered, she's a whiz at housework, and can she ever cook!"

	"Akane, no!" Kasumi protested. "You mustn't do this!" She
seemed about to disprove the part about her being even-tempered.

	"Kasumi," Mr. Tendo was calm but firm, "I said that Ranma
could choose any one of you three, and I meant it. For the honor of
our family, you will abide by whatever his choice is."

	"But it isn't right! Father! ..." Kasumi stopped in
resignation, as if still believing she was right, but realizing that
nothing she said would sway her father. "... Yes, father. I promise."
She's kept that promise to this day.

	"Good. And that goes for the other two of you as well."

	"If none of you wanna marry me then you don't gotta," I said.
"Goodbye! I'm going back to China to find a way to change back for
good!" I could tell when I wasn't wanted.

	"Have something to eat before you go." Akane thrust a plate of
noodle casserole in front of me. I *was* pretty hungry at that
moment...

	"Delicious, isn't it?" It was. "Kasumi cooked it! Now try some
of this curry dish that I made." Akane gave me a bowl of some
indescribable-looking substance; it looked like someone else had
already eaten it first.

	"If we're doing taste tests here, shouldn't there be one
more?" I asked. Nabiki just raised a single eyebrow, giving me a look
that suggested I had to be joking to expect that she'd ever cook
anything. Kasumi looked on helplessly, as if she desperately wanted to
say something but couldn't. I popped a spoonful of Akane's whatever it
was in my mouth.

	Eight different tastes assaulted by mouth, each of them worse
than the last. The flavor of chocolate pickle juice gave way to the
combination of blue cheese dressing and cough medicine. The offending
substances travelled unstoppably down through my stomach, rerouting my
intestines into the kind of path that Ryoga Hibiki might have taken,
and turning everything on the way to mud. I felt like I needed a
doctor right then, to sign my death certificate.

	Akane seemed to be satisfied. I'd gotten the message. Kasumi
and I looked at each other in vain, both of us stuck in a situation
neither of us wanted. I never actually declared a choice, but from
that time on it was implicitly understood that I was engaged to
Kasumi.

[End Part 1]

	Some dialog for this story was taken from the original Ranma
1/2 series, translation and English rewrite by Matt Thorn and Gerard
Jones for Viz comics. I also ripped off some of the "Rainy Day
Epicacs" from Mystery Science Theater 3000 ("Teenage Caveman"
episode).

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, Home page http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe
My fanfics and the FFML map are on my comics/manga page,
       http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics