wyrm@mail.utexas.edu                            JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu

This story takes place in an alternate reality, just after Jadeite's final
battle with the Senshi. Let's admit it: Sailor Moon and Dr Who just don't
exist in the same reality. We're going to tweak the history and future of
the Silver Millennia, the Modern Era and Crystal Tokyo a bit.

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PROLOGUE:

	Jadeite was teleported back to the Great Hall of the Dark Kingdom, facing
his queen. He noted that Beryl's eyes were narrowed with anger. This sent a
cold chill up Jadeite's spine as he realized that this was the end of the
line for him.
	"Jadeite, I told you to eliminate the Sailor Senshi and you have failed
me!" she growled. Jadeite shrunk back. He had been cheated of his rightful
victory by that insufferable Tuxedo Mask. To quote the Dirty... er, Lovely
Angels (Not even Metallia could save him from those two! ;), it wasn't his
fault!
	"Beryl-sama, I beg you... I know the identities of the Sailor Senshi!" he
pleaded. Perhaps a fortuitous piece of information may sway the queen
enough to give him one more chance. Just one more chance was all he needed.
He was so close.
	Queen Beryl sneered. Jadeite realized he wasn't going to get his chance.
	"Jadeite, you have failed me once too often. Prepare for Eternal Sleep!"
With that last shout, Beryl's eyes flashed brightly. Jadeite was hit by a
blast of energy that surrounded him completely. He screamed, or tried to,
but not one of his muscles responded. Indeed, he could feel nothing, sense
nothing.
	But he could see. So the rumors were true. He should've closed his eyes.
	"Let it be a lesson to all traitors!" he heard Beryl's voice through the
crystal. Damn, the bitch wasn't shut out, either. "I shall not tollerate
failure."
	A wave of the hand later, and a sickness overwhelmed Jadeite as he was
teleported, crystal and all, to the Crypt.
	"Nephlite," Beryl called. "You shall take command of Jadeite's forces and
gather energy. Do not disappoint me, or you shall suffer the same fate."
	The stated general stepped forward, his long brown hair flowing. He bowed
and stated simply, "Yes, my Queen."

	Childras had the most unwanted job in all the Dark Kingdom: The Keeper of
the Eternal Sleep Chamber. It was a most dismal duty, tending to these...
wretches.
	Very few came here to view the Sleepers; even for the youma breed, it was
a most horrid place. No one came here except those who needed to come, and
thus it earned the nickname "Crypt". Being the Keeper, Childras was one of
those unfortunates.
	'Oh well, better them than me...' Childras thought idly.
	He stepped up to the new meat, Jadeite. Like all of those unlucky enough
to keep their eyes open during the imprisonment, Jadeite's eyes were full
of terror, something that Childras felt to his very bones.
	No matter how many times he saw it, he could never stand that terror. It
was like pure moonshine; all but the most vile could not bear that look.
All youma partook of the spirits of terror, savoring it, but no one liked
being overwhelmed by too much, too fast. Some were binge-drinkers, some
connoisseurs. Very few could stomach the heavy stuff.
	Childras was a connoiseur of terror; the pure concentrate of terror
eminating from the eyes of the Sleepers was far too crude for his tongue.
	A few hours later, Childras finished his duty for a while and stalked off
to other things.
	Jadeite saw the Crypt-Keeper's attentions, of course, but could do nothing
about it. He was a statue; his powers useless, his body frozen. He realized
that he would go mad with isolation.
	As he brooded, he became aware of a noise not unlike that of wheezing
elephants and grinding gears. He watched a small dust-devil spring up
before him, and to his astonishment, a humanoid figure appeared before his
crystal.
	'How dare a human invade the relm of the Dark Kingdom?!' he fumed. He
could do nothing else but fume, trapped in the crystal.
	The human, male Jadeite realized, was dressed completely in black, long
robes and a high collar. He wore a black cap embroidered with gold on his
head. He stepped forward, to Jadeite's crystal, and put a hand on it.
	"A fly trapped in amber." The man smiled. "Yes... Yes, your body should do
nicely..." he said.
	The stranger pressed a copper bracelet on his right arm, and the thing
began to hum. Jadeite heard the noise again, and the background began to
dissolve. Soon, everything was a swirling void save himself, his crystal,
and the stranger.
	The swirling void was even worse than the Crypt. On top of the fact that
he couldn't move and was forced to hear and see, what he saw didn't make
any sense. His mind did its best to cope, but he felt his sanity ebbing
away, slipping like sand through despairately groping fingers.
	Jadeite locked his attention onto the man; he shut out the void, as it was
beyond his ability to grasp, but the man was here, tangible, and there was
simply nothing else that made sense.
	The trip lasted several minutes, but when they arrived, Jadeite found
himself in a white-walled room with many consoles scattered about.
	Another man, dressed in lavander and purple robes stood and bowed to the
stranger. "Lord President," he stated simply.
	"At ease, Hin. I have found the perfect form for Wyrm to take when we
exile him to Earth, as well as the location and period," the man, "Lord
President", informed the young Hin. "Inform the High Council that I have
returned and the sentancing of Wyrm is about to begin."
	"Immediately, Lord President," Hin acknowledged and started working again
at the terminal.
	"Oh, and prepare this... creature for bio-projection and transduct hom to
the auxiliary stand when you're finished."
	"Immediately, Lord President," the young one acknowledged and began his
duties. The Lord President of the High Council of Gallifrey left the room,
the doors shutting behind him.

	Jadeite felt a wrenching pain in all of the cells of his body as he was
'transducted' into an alcove facing a large chamber. On one side, he could
see a double-row of benches seating a total of thirteen people, with the
odd bench on the lower tier. From its decorations, it was clear that this
odd chair was intended to be held by a prodigeous person.
	Opposite these benches were two desks flanked by two pulpits. Each held
two seats. On his side of the room held another alcove similar to his own.
Opposite him was a bank of pulpits for spectators.
	Jadeite waited impatiently as he could for _something_ to happen. He
couldn't move so tapping anything, or escape, was out of the question. So
he thought back to the encounter he had with the young human, Hin. The man
put him under the scrutiny of thirty different scans, accurately recording
his... bio-projection, whatever that was. It was all science to him; he was
never much one for science.
	Anyway, Hin finished his analysis and then sent him off into this alcove.
He said one parting message: "You should feel privilaged... you are about
to see the High Council punish the infamous criminal who will wear your
face." Jadeite wondered if it was similar to a Glamour that nonhuman youma
use to disguise thier features to look like a generic human or even a
certain human.
	The door opened at last, and people in purple, gold, green and other
shades filed in. Each was wearing long robes, with the men wearing caps of
appropriate color, the women wearing various baubles. Every single member
wore a coweling that looked somewhat like a whale's tail on the back,
glittering precious accents and each having a complicated round design of
gold and black on each of the breast-flanges. He realized that those
designs were miniturized versions of the plaque hanging just above the bank
of benches.
	Looking at the ensemble, he could note one exception to the pomous mode of
dress these fellows had. Now sitting in one of the desks opposite the bank,
he was dressed in an outrageous checkered shirt, plaid vest, yellow bowtie,
and pshycedelic jacket. Also worn was a pair of red-striped beige pants,
western belt with big buckle, Daffy Duck socks and wingtip shoes. A mop of
slightly-greying black hair was held in check by a white tie to hold it
back into a ponytail. He carried a lime-green umbrella with a purple
polkadots and red spiral to complete the costume.
	In short, an eyesore.
	Jadeite would not blame his captors if they punished him for looking like
a circus clown. Why, the only thing missing was face paint.
	A white-robed old man stepped into the room and called, "All rise..."
Everyone did, including the circus clown with a bit of prodding. Secretary
Ion announced, "I present to you Lord Borusa, Lord President of the High
Council of the Time Lords, of the planet Gallifrey."
	The said Lord President stepped into the room, and Jadeite immediately
recognized him as the man who brought him here. He stepped up to the
remaining (and flashy) seat in the bank. Borusa smoothed out his white robe
and sat, and the others did.
	"The convicted shall rise," Borusa stated clearly. The clownman did.
"Renegade Wyrm of Gallifrey, member of the Prydonian Chapter, you have been
found guilty of one count of breaking the First Law of Time, two counts of
the Third Law of Time, and multiple counts of the Second Law of Time. All
other charges have been aquitted or dropped."
	"Swell," said deadpan the man Jadeite now knew as Wyrm. The attourney
beside him angrily prodded him to shut up.
	Borusa made a point to ignore him. "Because of your conviction, you are
sentenced to the punishments of Exile, Prohibition... and Regeneration." At
the sound of the last penalty, a stirring began in the spectators. The
convicted, Wyrm, seemed shocked by this, too.
	"Lord President, I must protest this!" he declared, slamming his fist
against the table, much to the startlement of his attourney. "It's cruel
and unusual punishment!"
	President Borusa scowled at the uppity young man. "The First Trial of the
Doctor clearly set the precident of forced regeneration in cases such as
these," he stated calmly. A small smile spread upon his face. "You of all
people should know that, Wyrm of Gallifrey... The sentance is to be carried
out immediately." He nodded to a helmeted man, red color with white accents
and a white cloak.
	The man, presumably a guard, manhandled a protesting Wyrm to the second
booth opposite to Jadeite. "This is outrageous! I...and the Doctor, only do
what you refuse to do! What about my choice of bodies, eh? This is a
perver-sion of justice, I tell you! Let me go!" He managed to grab his
umbrealla. It's handle glowed. "DONNERSCHIRM!!" rang a shout as the
umbrella smashed into the guard on his left. He screamed with surprise and
pain as he flew away from Wyrm as if hit by a giant fist.
	A shot rang about the chamber, and Wyrm convulsed and let out a strangled
scream. One of the guards was holding a plastic-looking pistol in his
hands, aimed at Wyrm, who was now slumped and unresisting. One of the
guards relieved him of his umbrella.
	"You didn't kill him, did you?" Borusa asked, not a hint of concern in his
voice.
	"No sir. Low stun only. He should be coming around soon," the guard said.
Indeed, Wyrm was moaning, recovering quickly.
	"Ah, awake already I see." Borusa responded to Wyrm's only question, "Too
much have criminals abused the choice of bodies to delay their punishment.
The Trial of the Doctor also sets the precident that the High Council may
choose a body for the convict in cases where there might be such an abuse.
We have therefore chosen this creature's bio-projection as your new form."
	Jadeite's alcove lit up, and he became aware that it was indeed dark
beforehand, hiding him from Wyrm's view. Now that Wyrm looked at him, his
face became drawn with horror. He sent a pleading look Borusa's way.
	"We thought it appropriate, viewing where you are to arrive."
	"You..." Wyrm breathed, "You BASTARD!" By now, Wyrm was strapped into the
alcove. "That's Jadeite! I'm being exiled to 20th century Tokyo, aren't I?!
The Sailor Senshi will KILL me!"
	Borusa smiled a predator's grin. "Then you best stay out of their way,
Wyrm...Activate the regenerator!"
	"NO!"
	The machine began to hum, and Wyrm's form became washed-out in a wave of energy.
	"You can't...!"
	The machine's hum built up to a maximum, and Jadeite was forced to watch
as Wyrm disappeared in a flash of light. When his vision cleared, he saw a
new man slumped over in the machine, hair blond, but still long. He was
taller and slightly bulkier, and had lost a great deal of chubbiness. The
clothes didn't change, and they looked tight on him.
	The face made Jadeite suddenly desire to scream, for it was his own. The
newly-regenerated Wyrm was quickly unstrapped from the machine and
extracted from the alcove. His body was limp as if drained.
	"Manipulation complete, Lord President," the attending Time Lord stated.
"Regeneration successful; memory blocks in place."
	"Excellent."
	Another Time Lord rushed in and said, "Lord President."
	"Ah, Paide!" Borusa sighed. "Is Wyrm's TARDIS prepared now?"
	"Yes, Lord President," Paide answered. "I appologize for the delay, but
the afformentioned TARDIS was custom-made. We had to guess a couple of the
technologies, but we are confident that it is adequately disabled."
	"Well, Wyrm is a wiley chap. He built that TARDIS from the ground up."
	"From the..." Paide parroted. "Lord President, his TARDIS is powered by
the nucleus of a black hole, an Eye of Harmony, that rivals the power of
the Greater Eye here on Gallifrey! That is an amazing feat of Solar
Engineering, to say the least..."
	"It was a hobby," came the reply.
	Paide paled.
	Another guard stood by Jadeite's crystal. "What shall I do with this, Lord
President?" he asked.
	"Oh, transduct him into one of the storage vaults," Borusa answered. "The
more we can play on Wyrm being Jadeite, the better."
	"Yes, Lord."
	A couple of minutes later, Jadeite was rudely transducted to an immense
storehouse of odds and ends. If he could only excape...
	'Oh well. At least Beryl can't pin this on ME,' he thought.

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[Begin "Doctor Who" BGM from FOX pilot]

Tj/Wyrm Presents     A GAC Production

                               W   Y   R   M
                                 THE EXILE

                                  * o r *

                                  S  M  E*
                            (Sailor Moon Exile)

*(For those of you that thought this meant Sado-Mastocistic Erotica, GET HELP!!)

                                  STARING

	James Hetfield..................................as Jadeite/Wyrm #3
	Miriam Surois.........................................as Wyrm-chan
	Amy Mann.............................................as Mizuno Ami
	Patti Russo............................................as Hino Rei
	Alanna Myles......................................as Tsukino Usagi
	Kasim Sulton.......................................as Chiba Mamoru
	Nancy Sinatra.................................................Luna

                                   WITH

	Meat Loaf...............................................as Wyrm #2
	Leona Helmsley......................................as Queen Beryl
	Sting (YES!)...........................................as Nephlite
	Boy George..............................................as Zoicite
	Monica Seles........................................as Raionji Rui
	Debbie Harry.........................................as Osaka Naru
	Jason Presley..........................................as Childras
	Tim Carry (be afraid; be very afraid).............as Tsukino Kenji
	Cindy Crawford....................................as Tsukino Ikuko
	Mucully Culkin...................................as Tsukono Shingo

					    ARRIVAL
					  Episode One

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	"Well, Nephlite?" Queen Beryl addressed her general. "I have transfered
control of Jadeite's forces to your command. I hope that you use them to
better effect than he did."
	Nephlite, a humiform youma with hair brown and long, bowed in
acquiescence. "Yes, Beryl-sama. Jadeite was a fool because he targeted
large groups of people. He was thus drawing attention to himself, and
leaving him vulnerable to detection. I shall avoid this entirely by
draining energy one individual at a time, while he or she is at his maximum
output."
	A gale of feminine-sounding laughter fractured the air, and to the right
of and behind...and above, as it also happened, a whirlwind of
cherry-blossom pettals traced out helical patterns as would a dust-devil.
Out of this mael-strom emerged a blonde with hair tied back into a
ponytail. This one sat crossleged on nothing while floating a few feet off
the ground, a head resting on a lax hand.
	At first glance, this newcomer appeared female. However, a more careful
viewing would reveal that this was, in fact, a bishounen man. Otherwise, he
would be a very flatchested woman. "And how do you intend to find THAT
out," he asked, voice high as if it belonged to a deep-throated female.
Grinning wickedly, he added, "Nephlite-chan!"
	"Don't call me that, Transvestite..." Nephlite scowled.
	The man gained a spark of fire and protested. "Hey! I am not a transvestite!"
	"So you say..."
	"Kono...Come to my room in two spans and I'll show you what's what!"
	"Pass. Already got a woman..." He was lying. ;)
	"I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A--!"
	"NEPHLITE! ZOICITE!" a strong and regal voice broke up their argument.
"Argue on your own time!" It's not as if Beryl didn't enjoy it when
Nephlite and Zoicite fought; their verbal fencing often proved very
entertaining. However, this was not the time.
	"Yes, my queen," Nephlite bowed and appologized, "I have no excuse."
	Zoicite merely harrumphed and vanished in another cherry-devil. From a
lesser, Beryl would've been insulted, but she made a special exception in
Zoicite's case, as he was so entertaining when he did that.
	After he left, Queen Beryl turned back to Nephlite. "Still, Zoicite raises
a valid point. How do you intend to find out which humans are at their
peak?"
	Nephlite smiled. He was fully prepared to answer this question, as he had
researched his subject thoroughly. "The stars know all," he declared. "All
events in this universe are goverened by the stars. I shall set up a
planet-arium on Earth and use the motions of their stars to tell me which
one is ripe for the picking."
	Beryl nodded. She had heard of Nephlite's expertise in astrology, and had
always been accurate in such predictions. She therefore could trust
Nephlite on this manner. "Very well, Nephlite. Proceed."
	"Yes, my queen."
	"Oh, and Nephlite..."
	"Yes, my queen?"
	"Fail me and suffer the same fate as Jadeite."
	Nephlite swallowed. "Yes, my queen."

	Mizuno Ami appeared to be just your average geeky computer nerdess, but
she was much, much more. She reflected that her life had turned much more
complicated when she discovered that she was the reincarnated warrior of
Mercury, one of (at last count) three Sailor Senshi, including Sailors Moon
and Mars.
	'If I wasn't part of it myself, I would never believe it. I mean, talking
cats, peculiar monsters, reincarnated warriors with awesome powers wearing
abbreviated sailor suits?' she mused. 'Sounds like something from a Shojo
Manga.'
	Ami usually studied in the park; it was so peaceful.
	Usually.
	Not today, and by some perverted twist of fate, it was anything but
peaceful in the vicinity of Ami. A slight breeze wafted through the forest
as a whirring, groaning, wheezing sound picked up volume. Ami began to
become alarmed as she looked around trying to find its source. As the sound
became louder and louder, it became clear to Ami that it was, in fact,
coming from a thicket behind her.
	Quickly and quietly, Ami snuck into the clearing where the din was
eminating. Her eyes widened with amazement when a blue fire built up around
where she thought the noise originated and quickly solidified as a shape
not unlike an old-style public phone booth materialized. The groaning
concluded with a final *THUNK* as the wind died completely and the fire
disappeared, but the booth remained.
	Fearing a Dark Kingdom trap (although why the Dark Kingdom would use
something shaped like a telephone booth in the middle of the park was
beyond her), she pulled out her communicator. "This is Ami!" she said in
hushed tones. "Usagi, Rei, please come in!"
	An image rezzed in on the tiny screen. It was Rei. "Hello, Ami. What seems
to be the trouble?"
	Ami gulped. "You're never going to believe this, but a phone booth just
materialized in a thicket in the park!"
	Rei blinked a couple of times on the viewscreen. "Aw, come ON!!" she jeered.
	"Didn't I tell you you wouldn't believe it?" Ami returned, "I'm not joking
about this, Rei!"
	"Alright, alright...I'll be right there." The view winked out.
	Ami sighed in relief. It seems she did so too soon, because a groan
escaped behind her. She turned to see that someone was hanging by the open
door of the booth wearing an outfit that made Dark Kingdom fashion look
classy. The man in question lost grip and stumbled facefirst onto the grass
of the thicket.
	Against her better judgement, Ami emerged from hiding in the foliage to
come to the man's aid. A cursory glance revieled nothing outwardly wrong,
no injuries of any sort. She turned him on his back...where she proceeded
to leap back as if he was suddenly electrified.
	"Jadeite!" Ami choked.
	At the sound of his name, Jadeite's eyes popped open, and his body popped
up. She let out a shriek of surprise, as Jadeite was staring _right_ _into_
_her_ _EYES!_
	Ami knew that Jadeite knew that she was Sailor Mercury; no point in
keeping her secret from him. So, she leapt up and pulled out her
transformation pen: "MERCURY POW--"
	"Akane, be a little less hammer-happy next time, willya?!" Jadeite yelled,
and then promptly fell back and closed his eyes.
	Ami blinked.
	Then blinked again.
	"Huh?"
	She got down on her knees and pulled Jadeite's eye open. After a looksee,
she came to a conclusion. "He's passed out!"
	Jadeite sat up again suddenly, looking straight ahead, thus causing Ami to
jump back again. Again, he was looking into her eye...Wait, no he wasn't.
His eyes were unfocused, as if he was looking past her, or locking onto a
memory. He might not have really 'seen' her at all.
	"No, Priss! You may NOT have a Janis thorn!" He flopped down and passed out.
	Ami was as confused as ever. She put her hand on his forehead; a little
cool, but she didn't know if this was normal or not, not knowing anything
about youma metabolism. It was the face that was really wierd. It was
definitely Jadeite, but...something made his face look more...friendly?
Compassionate? Kind? Trustable? These were certainly not attributes she
normally associated with the Dark General.
	She was still puzzling it over when Rei ran up to her and asked, "What's
the problem?" After taking a look at Ami's patient, she jumped to
conclusions. "Jadeite! MARS POWER, MAKE UP!"
	A transformation later, and Sailor Mars was ready to rumble. She turned to
her blue-haired friend and childed, "Ami! Why haven't you changed into
Sailor Mercury yet?"
	"Wait, Rei! Something's wrong..." Ami started.
	Jadeite popped up again.
	Mars began her spiel: "How dare you disturb the peace of this park! I am
the beautiful sailor suited warrior, Sailor Mars! And in the name of
Mars--"
	"Nene," said Jadeite, "Always remember...never, but NEVER, cut a deal with
a Dalek!" He fell back and passed out. Again.
	Mars blinkblinked. "What...the...heck!"
	Ami looked at her sailor suited friend and shrugged. "I don't think he's
in a condition to put up any sort of struggle, Rei," Ami answered honestly.
"I think we should get him to a hospital."
	"The HOSPITAL?" Sailor Mars gave Ami a funny look. "Would they _know_ how
to handle a sick youma?"
	"No less than we do." Ami flipped out her computer and did a cursory scan
on Jadeite. She tapped wildly on the little thing, and her brow furrowed in
puzzlement. "That's odd...His physiology doesn't match any of the normal
youma."
	"Why should he? He is the head honcho, you know," Sailor Mars pointed out,
"And he's the only youma we've fought who was anything approaching human."
	"True..."
	Jadeite went up again. "Mary had a little lamb, his fleece was white as
snow..." And he went back down again.
	Ami blinked again, and returned her attention to the screen of her computer
with an incredulous shaking of her head. She studied the readouts and came
to a conclusion. However, it seemed to Rei it was a conclusion that even
she couldn't believe she could come up with. "He's hypoglycemic," she
declared.
	"Hippo-what?" Mars parroted.
	"Hypo-glycemic; his blood is running low on glucose...brain fuel,
basically. His brain isn't working properly because of it, thus his erratic
behavior."
	Pop. "...And everywhere that Mary went, Her lamb was sure to go." Flop.
	"It usually happens in diabetics when they take too much insulin. It
causes all the sugar to be absorbed, leaving the brain nothing to feed it,"
Ami explained.
	"I didn't know Jadeite was diabetic..."
	Ami tapped on her computer again. "He isn't. His pancreas seems to be
working fine. Also, the level of insulin and its decay products indicates
that insulin has been produced in normal amounts in the past four hours.
	"Besides, of what we seen of youma so far, do you think they would let him
live if he had been diabetic?" Mars shook her head no.
	Pop. "No, Doctor. I do not think entering the event horizon is a Good
Thing." Flop.
	Sailor Mars murmured, "Well, SOMEthing's wrong with him."
	Ami and Mars stared at their charge for several seconds, trying to figure
out what they should do, and deciding whether it was the wise thing to do.
	"If he is sick, then we must help him," Ami said simply.
	"But he's the enemy!"
	Ami nodded. "And he is defenseless. If we do not help him, what does that
say about us?"
	That they were no better, was the unspoken answer. Mars lowered her head
in shame.
	"Alright...Let's take him to a hospital. BUT," Mars shot a finger at
Jadeite. "if he does anything funny, he's toast!"
	"Right," Ami agreed.
	Jadeite snapped straight up once again, yelled, "SPOON!" and passed out
again as soon as he hit the ground.

	A young woman with dark-green hair sat passively in her booth, reading the
Tokyo Times and nursing a cup of coffee. Her long green hair was pulled up
into a ponytail. Although quite contempt, her expression was carefully
neutral and calm; a woman of ice.
	Her eyes widened with surprise as she felt...something familiar just
barely brushing her awareness. He or she was in distress, a call for anyone
of his/her real species to come to the caller's aid. The woman knew the
people well, as she had more than a passing experience with them, and these
people had the ability to travel through Time using machines called
'TARDISes'. Being a policewoman of Time of sorts, this made it her concern.
	Reaching out, a staff appeared out of nowhere. No one in the restraunt
noticed it; they went about their business and blatantly ignored it. The
crystal set in the top glowed slightly.
	When it stopped, she sighed and banished the staff. As the Guardian of the
Timegate, it was her obligation to investigate preterbations in Time and
space. The woman stood, placing a couple of yen onto the table to pay for
the coffee plus a percentage for the waitress, and the woman exited the
restraunt in a calm and orderly manner.

	Raionji Rui loved tennis, pure and simple. Every day she would go down to
the courts and practice her technique. Today she was in especially good
form, as she returned the ball effortlessly to her opponent.
	"Go, Rui-oneechan!" Naru called from the sidelines. Rui took a moment to
wave back.
	Usagi, her everpresent, and ever-ditzy friend, looked at surprise at Naru.
"I didn't know you had a big sister, Naru..."
	Naru looked slightly surprised, but when she realized what Usagi was
talking about, she smiled. "Oh, its not like that. Rui is a childhood
friend of mine. She was really nice to me, just like a big sister..."
	"Ahh..."
	Then it happened.
	Usagi and Naru both heard the sound of a hand on the chain-link fence
surrounding the court. The turned... and were met with the most beautiful
sight ever treated to the adolecent girl. A handsome man with long,
free-flowing brown hair was scrutinizing the match between Rui and her
unnamed opponent. The man saw with green eyes and his skin had been lightly
tanned, and also seemed to be slightly grey. He was clothed casually, just
a guy out on the town.
	It was then that both Naru and Usagi experienced a peculiar reaction
unique to teenaged girls called 'Heart Eyes'. With hands clasped together
in front of them, they gazed at the Grade A hunk standing in front of them,
their eyes pink and seemingly heart shaped. They even appeared to beat like
hearts. Finally, no 'Heart Eye' reaction is complete without a goofy grin.
	Strangely enough, 'Heart Eyes' is not a painful condition.
	"What a dreamboat!" Usagi sighed.
	"Yeah, like...totally!" Naru agreed.
	Nephlite watched the game for awhile before coming to a decision. "Put
more weight into the ball!" he shouted and hurdled the fence with a single
bound.
	The two players stopped playing at once at the sight of the man clearing a
high fence a la Superman. Had they been living in Nerima, this would be an
everyday occurance, and so would be ignored. But this is Juuban. You just
didn't see that much jumping over fences around here.
	Using the distraction to its full effect, Nephlite took the racket from
Rui's parnter. "I want to see your serve," he instructed. "Show me."
	Rui nodded and stepped back to the baseline. Using a well-practiced
routine, she bounced the ball on the ground three times, raised both it and
the racket to face Nephlite. The racket was swung back as Rui tossed the
ball high in the air. With precise timing, she swiped the racket high into
the air, spanking the ball dead-center, and followed through.
	The ball sailed at Nephlite, who pivoted for the return. And he did. Hard.
The ball rocketed from the racket face and over the net. Frantic, Rui
jockeyed for a position to return the ball. She managed to hit the ball, at
least, but the shot had such power that the racket was knocked from her
hand and clattered to the ground.
	An amused smile crossed Nephlite's face. "A fly could've landed on that
serve," he declared, and progressed toward Rui.
	Rui stared at her grounded racket for a little bit, and then turned back
to Nephlite and asked, in a slightly unfriendly voice, "Who are you,
anyway?"
	Nephlite was now standing over the racket. Pseudonym time. He bent down
while saying, "Sanjoin Masato, a curious tennis coach." As Sanjoin
"Nephlite" Masato grabbed the racket, he concentrated, calling forth the
powers at his command. A red glowing mark appeared on the racket's butt;
the mark of the youma.
	It vanished as quickly as it appeared.
	Nephlite stood and handed the impregnated racket to Rui. "Just put more
weight into your serve," he said. "I guarantee you that it will blow the
opposition's socks off."
	Rui nodded sceptically and stepped over to the baseline again opposite a
boy that had finished a game with his own partner. She went through the
mantra of motion once more: bounce, two, three, lift, two, three, drop,
throw, swing, hit, follow through, rest.
	Except this time, there was a difference.
	Again, Rui swung the racket back and the ball was tossed in the air. Rui
then swept the racket high, reaching for the heavens themselves...while
putting more weight into it as she was instructed. The racket almost
literally glowed with power, it seemed to Rui (it was). Power surged
through herself and into the racket, striking the ball again, and Rui could
actually detect that the ball almost squishing flat.
	The ball flew like it was posessed. It slammed into the boy and was
knocked back into the fence.
	"Wow..." Rui whispered. "I wanna try that again!"
	In just a few minutes, Rui bombarded all the remaining boys with balls
that sought heads, arms and stomachs like heat-seeking missles patroling
for the kill. In minutes, they were all scared off or knocked out. Rui
surveyed the carnage and laughed out loud, hard, and long. A Kodachi-brand
Evil Bad Girl (tm) laugh.
	"Wow, your sister is COOL!" Usagi grinned.
	Naru didn't. Something was wrong with Rui. She was too sweet a girl to do
such things.

	Hikawa Shrine. The three Senshi were gathered around its entrance. Rei had
made sure that her grandfather was well away so that he wouldn't overhear
anything he wasn't supposed to. Oh well, at least he hadn't tried to induct
Usagi and Ami into being temple-girls.
	Luna lept onto the porch and sat beside Ami. She had just finished the
story about how the Dark Kingdom had destroyed the Silver Millennium
several thousand years ago. The next thing was going to be presented almost
immediately.
	"We found Jadeite," Rei declared matter-of-factly.
	"WHAAT?!" Usagi and Luna yelped in perfect sync. "What do you mean you
found Jadeite?!"
	Ami blinked innocently. "Wow! Did you practice that?"
	"Nevermind that!" Luna snapped as Usagi continued to freak out. "What
happened? Where is Jadeite now?"
	"In the hospital," answered Ami.
	"The..." "...hospital?" Usagi and Luna asked together.
	Rei and Ami nodded gravely. "He seemed to be ill," Rei added.
	"But an Earth hospital wouldn't know what to do with him," Luna countered,
looking at the two girls strangely.
	"Rei! Ami! He's the enemy! He's evil, and he threatened to turn Tokyo into
a barbecue!" Usagi wailed as she started to run around in place.
"WAAAHHH!!! I DON'T WANNA BURN! IT'LL RUIN MY HAIR!!"
	"I am cursed..." Luna murmured.
	Ami stood up, displacing Luna and causing her to NOT land on her feet, and
grabbed Usagi by the arms, holding her still. She looked into the blonde's
eyes and said, sternly, "USAGI, CHILL OUT!"
	Two girls and one cat stared at her incredule. "Ami! You never said
anything like _that_ before!"
	Ami smiled. "I know. The shock value has calmed down Usagi."
	Rei and Luna realized this. Usagi did to. "Umm...Why did you do that?"
asked the ditzoid.
	"So you'd listen to us," answered her friend. "We found Jadeite in
near-shock in the park. He was delerious, and required medical attention.
That's why we took him to the hospital; they know as much about youma
biology as we do, and they're better equiped for it."
	"But..."
	Ami shushed her. "Shh...Listen. When Jadeite came here before, it was
always with full health and usually had set up a scheme for draining
human's energy. Now, he arrives in dire condition, without his helpers, and
not already setting up some sort of plan.
	"Also, our last battle with him indicated that he had reached a serious
point in his relation with Queen Beryl. If he didn't succeed that time, he
would be finished as a Dark General.
	"The conclusion is that he has been exiled from the Dark Kingdom. If we
could make peace with him, he might be turned toward the side of good. In
any case, we would at least have one less enemy.
	"Of course, it could all be some sort of elaborate trap," Ami finished.
	Rei frowned. "Jeez, that inspires a lot of confidence."

	Childras appeared within the great chamber of the Dark Kingdom in front of
Beryl. "Queen Beryl, my liege, I have bad news." He knew that his life was
forfiet by telling the queen, but if he didn't there were worse punishments
than death...
	"What is this bad news, Crypt-Keeper?" Beryl asked absently.
	"Lord Jadeite..." Childras explained. "He's gone!"
	"Gone?!"
	"Gone! Not there! Missing! Vamoosed! Wandered off! AWOL! His crystal is
missing amongst the other Sleepers!" the frantic Crypt-Keeper explained. "I
went to check on him just this morning, and he was gone!"
	Beryl frowned. If Jadeite was free, he would count himself lucky that he
had escaped and lay low. Of course, he could go to the Senshi to ask for
amnesty in exchange for information about the Dark Kingdom. Although
Jadeite was a fool, he did have access to some very sensitive knowledge. He
put it to good use, which was why he was allowed to serve her still, until
he failed once too often.
	Of course, by freezing him in Eternal Crystal, Jadeite would not be
discrete with his information. He knows that his life in the Dark Kingdom
is over, and thus he would either be reimprisoned or killed, more likely
killed, if and when he was found. Jadeite now had nothing to lose by going
to the Senshi.
	This was _very_ serious.
	"Childras, as you were the one to lose him," Beryl ordered, "you shall be
the one to recover him."
	"But my liege, he is a Dark General! He'll make youma meatloaf out of me!" the little youma choked.
	"Either recover him, and all will be forgiven," Beryl offered, "or suffer
his fate. That is your choice."
	"Y-Yes, Queen Beryl..." Childras disappeared in a puff of smoke.
	Queen Beryl let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm surrounded by IDIOTS!" she fumed.

	Wyrm's eyes fluttered open. He looked dizzily around, searching for
something. "Shoes..." he groaned.
	A nurse found him searching the locker at the side of his bed for
something. "NO!" she snapped, pulling Wyrm back into the bed. "Don't move!
You've had a rough time, and we don't want you moving around until we know
what's wrong with you."
	"Shoes," whispered Wyrm. "Must...have my...shoes..."
	"Your shoes are safe, Dite-san," the nurse informed the wily patient.
"Don't worry about them; they're safe."
	A knock came from the door. The nurse put Wyrm on his back again and found
that he had passed out again. Sighing, she called to the visitors, "Come
in!"
	The door opened to reveal the two girls that had brought the patient in,
plus another girl with a cat. "Hello," said the nurse, "I'm sorry, but he's
passed out again. Er, cats aren't allowed in the ICU, Miss."
	"Oops! Sorry!" Usagi giggled, blushing. She stepped outside and put Luna
down. "Stay out here and be a good kitty, Luna."
	"Every hospital has the same stupid rule!" the cat whispered harshly.
	The nurse came out a moment later. She saw the cat waiting patiently by
the door and smiled. The cat looked up at her with what the nurse could
later swear was a dirty look.

	"Jadeite!"
	Wyrm opened an eye slowly in response to the name. Why, he didn't know.
Then he opened the other and focused them on who was talking to him. It was
a girl around fourteen. The girl's long raven hair framed an intense face.
Wyrm could swear he could feel a tangible malice coming from her.
	He quickly scanned the room to find two other girls there. A blue-haired
girl and a blonde of about the same age. Both of these were wearing sailor
fuku school uniforms. The blue-haired girl had her hair cut short, and her
face raidated calm intelligence. The blonde had her hair in balls and
ponytails that reached down to her knees. Her eyes showed fear as she
looked at him.
	He gave a friendly smile. That seemed to make the blond girl less nervous,
but for some reason it seemed to make the other two tense up.
	Wyrm turned back to the first girl, searching his memory for a name to
attach to the face. He had seen it before...sometime in the galaxy...Aha!
"Hino Rei," he said simply. He couldn't be sure, of course; regenerative
shock wrecked havock with memory, especially when forced or hastened.
	"You know my name?!" asked Rei as she drew back. True, Jadeite knew their
faces, but not their names. If he did, then chances were that Beryl knew as
well. And if Beryl knew, then the Sailor Senshi would be in really deep
trouble.
	"Yeah...at least I think so," Wyrm answered groggily. Something in the
back of his mind insisted that what he was about to do was a Bad Thing. But
it couldn't be that bad, could it? "The blonde over there's Tsukino Usagi,
and the blue-haired one is Mizuno Ami; AKA, Sailors Moon and Mercury. And
you're Mars," Wyrm answered frankly.
	"Great!" Rei sighed. 'We're dead!' she thought.
	"So much for secret identities..." Ami agreed. "How did you find out who
we were?"
	Wyrm blinked for a few seconds, bewildered by the question. Finally, he
dredged up the answer: "I remember reading about your bio-extracts.
However, my memory's still not working very well, so I'm not too sure about
it."
	Rei sighed, exhasperated. She was probably known to the whole Dark Kingdom
by now, the guy who did it was laying in bed in front of her, her whole
family was probably going to be a Dark Kingdom target, and she had to clean
her room. This was definitely turning out to be a crappy day. "Listen," she
began, "Jadeite..."
	"'Jadeite'?" Wyrm repeated, "'Jadeite'? Is that my name?"
	Rei looked startled at Ami. Ami looked thoughtfully at Usagi. Usagi looked
ditzily at Rei. Then they all looked hard at Wyrm.
	"Did I say something wrong?"
	Finally, Ami asked, "You can't remember?"
	Wyrm shook his head. "Not at the moment, no. I'll probably remember
eventually." Wyrm paused a second. "Or possibly not."
	After taking an obligary moment to facefault ("*OOF!*"), the girls turned
away into a huddle.
	"You think he's serious?" Rei asked.
	"I think so...He has gone through some unknown strain that put his brain
out of whack. He wasn't faking any disorientation earlier; his glucose
levels prove it."
	"Can't we just go home?"
	"Usagi! There's a dangerous man in a hospital! We have to think of the
patients here!"
	"I have the strangest feeling that we can trust him," the blonde said simply.
	"Trust him?!" Rei hissed, glaring at Usagi incredule. "Usagi, the guy's
from the Dark Kingdom! I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw my
planet! This is the guy who tried to fry Tokyo, REMEMBER?!"
	Ami, however, just stared at Usagi with an amazed look. "You too?"
	"Huh?" Rei asked.
	"When I look at him, his face is the same, yet different," Ami explained.
"It says that he means no harm, and is trustworthy."
	"I don't believe you guys!" Rei grimaced, fire rising in her eyes.
'They've been replaced by pods!' she thought.
	"Rei, he's one of the patients. He was out of it; you said so yourself.
Besides, if he acts funny, we'll just moon dust him!" Usagi grinned.
	"Usagi's right (for once)," Ami declared, "we can keep an eye on him while
he's in the hospital, and if he trys anything, we move in."
	"Alright, alright! We'll do it," Rei aquieced. "Break!" The Senshi came
out of the huddle to find Wyrm passed out on the bed. "Well, he's not going
to be much of a problem at the moment...Who's got first watch?"

	Usagi had the night watch, sitting on a chair, looking very drowsy. Luna
was asleep in her lap. Wyrm had not awoken in the interviening four hours
since she took watch after Rei. Ami had homework to do, after all.
	Rei had used a pretty fancy piece of verbal sparring to trick Usagi into
watching the patient, hitting on Usagi's quite obvious attraction towards
the man, even if he was (or looked like) a youma general.
	'Rei will pay for this,' thought Usagi darkly. She let out a silent yawn
and mused, "Jadeite won't wake up... he's just too out of it." With that,
she fell soundly asleep.
	*BRAAWWWWW!!!!!*
	Wyrm woke to the sound of a loud buzzsaw-like sound. He brought his head
up and looked around the room to see what the heck was going on, and found
it was Usagi making all that racket. He rolled his eyes. "Natch..."
	The regen-shocked Time Lord rubbed his temples. "Idiots didn't put glucose
in my IV. That would've helped my condition. Blast! If they did,
remembering would be easier. What did they call me? 'Jay Dite'? Well, good
enough a name as any for now."
	Wyrm raised himself out of bed and tumbled into the bathroom. He examined
his face. "Hmmmm... Not a bad looking fellow," he appraised, carefully
examining the face that he would be wearing until he regenerated again.
"Taller than my old one, but a new body is like a new house, as the Doctor
always says."
	Standing back to admire the frame he was put in, he wondered aloud idly,
"I wonder what my female half looks like this time?" He drew himself a cup
of cold water and doused himself with it.
	Wyrm felt a familiar change occuring throughout his body; it shrunk and
its mass was reduced. Hard and well-developed muscles became slimer and
lithe. His face softened, and hair darkened to jet black and became fine,
and his neck grew thinner. Hips flared out and chest expanded as other,
less obvious features altered. His frame had shifted into that of a woman.
Wyrm-chan admired herself in the mirror through a pair of now-red eyes. She
threw her hair back, admiring its softness and body, glinting in the light.
	"Yep, the Jusenkyo Simulation Field-Generator Image is still cranking
out." She smiled, as she noted that, like her last two female bodies, this
one was ravishing. "Spacewarp, you certainly know your fluxon physics!"
	It wasn't a true magical effect, of course. Field-generator images were
what result from fluxon physics. They consist of one or more
field-generators that are linked together to produce an image, which is
metaphysically active, such as Wyrm's "curse". And since it wasn't a proper
Jusenkyo curse, it couldn't be cured the same way as a true Jusenkyo curse.
Any cure would lie in creating a field-generator image to cancel the effect
of the current one.
	'Oh well,' she sighed. 'After six centuries of this, I've kind of gotten
used to it.' Wyrm-chan turned the hot water tap to fill with hot water,
which would change her back into a he. However, all she got was a loud
gurgling sound.
	She shut off the tap quickly, wondering with frustration and annoyance
what had happened. Her eye wandered to a small note next to the sink which
she had blatantly ignored before, but Wyrm-chan could now see that it was
an important announcement:

[
	Tokyo General Hospital has experienced a problem with the water heaters,
which mandated that the hot water lines be shut off and drained. We
appologize for the inconvenience.
	Should you require hot water, just ask the friendly hospital staff to
accommodate you.

									-- The Staff
]

	Wyrm smacked her forehead. 'Great!'
	She was so distracted by her plight, that a knock at her door just about
made her jump out of her skin.
	"Dite-san, it's time to take your medicine..." a feminine voice on the
other side called.
	'Uh oh!' Wyrm yeeped and flattened herself against the door just as it opened.
	It swung easily open, not because the nurse had the strength of a monster
and didn't know it, but because Wyrm used a martial arts technique called
'nezumi nakaguchinigete', "mouse scurrying into a hole". Basically, fade
into the woodwork; fail to be noticed; be neither seen nor heard; become
someone else's problem.
	Among other things, if you hide behind a door and it is opened, then you
will move with the door as if you were a painting on it. The nurse closed
the door behind her and walked toward the corner that Wyrm's bed lay
behind.
	The nurse saw Usagi asleep on a chair, and a cat in her lap. She decided
to let it go while she gave her patient "his" medicine.
	She then turned the corner and gasped, dropping the tray.
	Thinking quickly, Wyrm moved in and tapped a pressure point on the back of
the nurse's neck. She fell immediately unconcious and fell to the floor.
Wyrm then swept up the falling tray and nurse in each arm before they could
crash into the floor.
	Wyrm breathed hard as she set down her burden gently on the ground. The
adrenalin worked at her brain as she turned toward Usagi sleeping (and
still snoring loudly), and Luna also, who had clamped her ears shut to cut
out Usagi's snore.
	The adrenalin jogged a few memories in Wyrm-chan's mind, and she became
more anxious. 'Damn! Now I remember who Jadeite was, and why the Senshi
aren't too hot about him. I need to escape...FAST!
	'But how?' she wondered, as she felt something at the back of her head nag
at her. A tingle, almost.
	The tingle...it felt familiar. Something having to do with her species. A
mental contact, faint, but too faint to locate or get a grasp on what it
was, and now it was gone. She fretted, then shook her head, dismissing it
as a glitch.
	She turned the nurse over onto her back, still snoozing peacefully. Wyrm
realized that this nurse had a face and body structure similiar to her own,
and long black hair.
	Wyrm looked up toward Usagi, and remembered the transformation pen that
she carried. Also remembered was Wyrm's own knowledge of dimentional
trancendentality and how the 'Moon Pocket' worked.
	Wyrm-chan grinned as a plan formed. "How conveeeenient!"
	Like a cat, she tiptoed up to the sleeping girl and reached out with her
mind, trying to 'feel' the dimentional pocket that she knew was there.
	'Jackpot!' thought Wyrm-chan triumphantly and reached into the pocket,
causing it to shimmer a little, and began grasping around within it for the
pen. Wyrm grasped a long, thin object that felt right and smiled.
	Usagi smacked her lips and shifted position, slightly disturbing the moon
cat in her lap. Luna shifted and moved, cracking open herbleary eyes to
find a new and more comfortable position. Wyrm froze solid as the cat
half-awoke; she knew that this cat was sentient and possessed language. She
prayed to Rassilon that Luna would not notice.
	Luna curled up and fell asleep in Usagi's lap again. Wyrm let out a sigh
and pulled the transformation pen out all the way. She tiptoed away and
stood in a clear area of the room.
	After waiting until she was sure that both beings were still sound asleep,
she whispered thoughtfully to herself, "Okay, if I remember correctly, the
activation sequence is..." She stood and held the pen high, and commanded
clearly to it: "Moon Power, change me into that nurse at my feet!"
	Nothing happend.
	Wyrm-chan narrowed her eyes. "okay...um..." Inspiration hit. She did her
best to replicate the tones and speech patterns of Usagi, and chanted
again: "Moon Power, change me into my wicked-cool nurse!"
	Still nothing.
	"C'mon, you baka pen!" she hissed, glaring at it and shaking it like a
soda can.
	It totally ignored her. "Crap..." she swore quietly, turning the useless
artifact over in her hand and studying it as if it would eventually tell
her its secrets if she tried hard enough.
	It more or less did just that. "Wait! This isn't a ruby! It's something
else..." she thought aloud and softly after studying the jewel set at the
end. "Isn't this a quartzonium crystal?" Quartzonium...
	A mad grin spread upon her face.
	"Eureka!" she declared, and went to the closet where her clothes were
stored. "Now where did I put it?" Rummaging through the coat pockets, she
pulled out and recovered some baubles and most of the important tools,
putting them in a small paper bag.
	Wyrm-chan pulled out a silver-colored cylendrical widget about as long as
her flat hand and as wide as her pinky finger and smiled. "Okay, setting
four at 12.774...cyclic two should do the trick..."
	She raised the pen above her head, putting the head of the widget to the
crystal set in the end, repeated the chant...

	"Moon Power, change me into my wicked-cool nurse!"

	...and pulled the barrel-trigger of the widget down.
	A high-frequency, pulsating whine buzzed from the tip for a second as the
trigger was held, causing the jewel to flicker in unison, and then spark
with power as the trigger was released and the sound killed.
	"Bitchin'!"
	The Moon Kingdom Transformation Pen had activated.
	The pen spewed forth its magic, and lifted out of her hand. It spun like a
top in midair, threads of magic weaving around Wyrm silhouetting her
against the Moon.
	Wyrm felt her body change slightly to exactly match that of the nurse's,
and a light layer of makeup settled on her face. The mystic threads and
hospital gown merged, morphing into the nurse's outfit, identical to the
last detail. The pen, its magic performed, settled back into Wyrm's hand.
	Now disguised as the nurse, Wyrm took a moment to examine herself in the
mirror. "Perfect to the last detail," she declared. She lifted the widget
and gave it a gratified smile. "Sonic screwdriver, you are probably THE
most useful tool since pliers! Thank yew!" she cooed and kissed it.
Pocketing it and the transformation pen, she snatched up her bag of tricks
and pushed it into a now transdimensional pocket.
	Wyrm-chan was about to step out when she realized, "Key! I forgot the
key!" She rummaged through the bag, chanting "Key! Key! Key! Key!" Nope,
not there. Then through the discarded junk. "Key! Key!" No dice. Then under
her bed, in the various drawers and cubboards. "Key! Key! Key!" Nada.
Nearing panic, Wyrm stood still, finger on her temple and eyes closed.
	The Time Lord/Lady snapped open her eyes and smiled. She grabbed her old
shoes and shook out one, then another. Out of one, she got an old Dr.
Scholl's Food Deoderizer. Out of the other, a shield-shaped medal on a
silvery chain dropped out.
	"Of course!" Wyrm shrugged, putting it around her neck. "Obvious place!"
To better conceal it, she dropped the medal down the front of the uniform,
right into her cleavage. Wyrm jumped at the sensation. "Oooh! Cold!" She
patted it down, moving to the door. After a second's pause, she swept up
the real nurse's note-pad and went out the door, closing it gently behind
her.

	The woman sighed. That had been close, she decided. The Guardian of the
Timegate had almost been detected by the Time Lord (or was it Lady?). This
one had accute senses indeed; normally, their telepathy wouldn't have stood
a chance of detecting her at her current phase-level.
	This Time Lord was a powerful one; he (she?) would prove useful in the
Senshi's battles. In fact, the Guardian was sure that this Time Lord was
trained by the Doctor himself.

	"USAGI! WAKE UP!!" Luna screeched.
	Usagi screamed and jumped out of the seat, promptly klutzed out, and
landed on her rump. "Owchie!" she moaned, and then shot a pissed-off glare
at Luna. "Wadja do that for?!"
	"Jadeite's gone!" Luna cried.
	Usagi looked toward the bed and found it empty. She looked down and saw
that the nurse was unconscious with a clutch of medicines at her side.
	"Nurse-san! Are you alright?!" Usagi called to her as she shook the
unfortunate nurse awake.
	"Uhhn..." she groaned, shaking her head and opening her eyes. "What...?
The last thing I remember...I saw that Dite-san's bed was empty...and then
a tingling at the back of my neck...and then darkness."
	Luna, now perched on Usagi's shoulder, whispered to her, "Ask her what
time that was."
	"What time was it?" Usagi repeated.
	The nurse's brow furrowed a little in thought. "It was at the 9 PM
medication run," she recalled. "I usually get to Dite-san's room around
fourteen minutes into the run, so it would be 9:14, right?" She blinked,
looking a lot more in the here and now. "Why? What time is it now? How long
was I out?"
	Usagi looked toward the wall clock. "10:41."
	"An hour and a half," she estimated, which was close enough to the actual
value of an hour and twenty seven minutes.
	Luna gained a puzzled look, which the nurse thought was cute. 'That's
odd...Usually, Jadeite's victims stay out for hours, at least three. And
the nurse seems fully aware now. It takes humans a full hour to fully
recover. That means she wasn't drained.
	'Why wouldn't Jadeite drain anyone's energy at such an opportunity?' Luna
asked herself. 'Unless that wasn't his mission, or he really is exiled.'
	"Usagi, get out of the hospital and call the other Senshi," she whispered.
"This is an emergency."

	Wyrm-chan, still disguised as a nurse, stepped out of the hospital without
being stopped. She smiled confidently. "Now, all I have to do is make it
back to the TARDIS," she whispered, and started down the street.

	An hour later...
	"WHERE THE HECK IS IT!?!"

	At the Hino Temple, the Sailor Senshi had gathered once again. It was an
emergency meeting, for the one that they called (but not neccessarily was)
Jadeite.
	"How could you let Jadeite get away?!" Rei shouted at the blonde. "Let me
guess! You fell asleep! Usagi, you knew that guy is dangerous and yet you
go and fall asleep on us! How stupid can you get?!"
	"Oh, shut up, Rei! If you wanted to be so sure, why didn't you keep
watch?!" Usagi snapped back.
	"Because I had already done my stint and Ami had to study for her test!"
	Things very quickly degenerated into a catfight between the two girls,
much to the disappointment of Luna the cat and the amazement of Ami.
	"It's amazing how they can let themselves be totally distracted by a fight
when such evil is afoot," Ami observed.
	Luna sighed with chagrin. "Why me? Why am I stuck with such a motley
bunch? Well, I guess I have no choice left."
	With that, she whipped out a Big Ass Mallet (tm) from hammerspace and
blugeoned the both of them.
	*BAM!**BAM!*
	Needless to say, the two shut up in a very short order.
	"Stop fighting, you two!" Luna hissed, making the mallet go...some-where,
"We have a job to do: find Jadeite! That means to save this little
arguement for until we find him and neutralize him! Clear?!"
	"Crystal..."
	"Clear..."
	"Right!" Luna took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "Usagi,
Rei, Ami, Transform!"
	"Right!" all three acknowledged.
	"MOON PRISM POWER!"
	"MERCURY POWER!"
	"MARS POWER!"
	"CAT POW...Oops! Sorry!" Luna blushed. The girls rolled their eyes.
	"MAKE UP!" they called simultaneoulsy, completing the activation mantra.
The three girls went through their respective transformation sequences,
their Senshi uniforms forming around them. Soon, they were ready for the
hunt.
	"Let's go!" shouted Moon, and the team moved off.

	Childras stalked through the streets, searching for the Dark General that
had caused all of his problems. Childras idly wondered how the heck Jadeite
got out of Eternal Crystal; it was supposed to be impervious to all forms
of escape. That means that if Jadeite escaped, he had to have had help.
	That was bad, Childras decided, as it made him look as guilty as hell. The
only way that he could clear his name was to recover Jadeite, fast. Hence
the guise.
	He was currently in a human Glamour as not to attract undue attention to
himself. This Glamour currently covered up his normally monsterous
insectoid form with one perfectly human. This was fortunate and
constructive, as then he would not have humans running screaming from him,
which would attract the attention of the Sailor Senshi, and he definitely
had no need to confront them now.
	"Excuse me, do you know who I am?" asked a female voice behind him.
	Childras turned to face a woman in a white nurse's uniform. He raised an
eyebrow in confusion.
	Wyrm-chan had felt something unfamiliar in this person's aura, whatever
that was, and decided that if anyone knew his/her identity, this one would.
	"What?" asked Childras.
	"Well, I need some help, you see..." Wyrm-chan explained. "I have a name,
but I don't know what it means."
	Childras smiled as he probed this person. She had a strong aura, and he
had the proper training to draw energy. Time for some gratuitous energy
gathering...
	He dropped the Glamour.
	Wyrm-chan stepped back as the human form melted and twisted grotesquely
into that of Childras' natural insectoid form. "Erk!" she squeeked.
	"Your energy is mine!" Childras rumbled, and struck out for her head.
	Unfortunately for him, Wyrm-chan dodged out of the way too fast to be
grabbed, as the hard-wired automatic response program of her
multiple-styled, high-powered martial-arts training kicked in. Childras
drew back puzzled. "Impossible..."
	Wyrm-chan shrugged. "Well, obviously it's not. Otherwise I wouldn't have
been able to dodge that."
	Childras growled in anger. He would NOT be showed up by this human. He
struck out again. Wyrm-chan vaulted over the youma, bounced off his head,
and landed behind him. "I ain't going to be monster food, thankyeverymuch!"
She started running. A growling Childras pursued.

	Sailor Moon stepped around the corner followed by Mercury, wearing her
virtual visor, and Mars and Luna underfoot. "See any sign of Jadeite yet?"
Luna asked.
	Mercury shook her head, examining the symbols and graphs superimposed on
her view of the world. "I'm afraid not. His bio-profile hasn't shown up
yet."
	"He's gotta be somewhere!" Sailor Moon grumbled in frustration. "I'm
missing out on some perfectly good sleep!"
	Mars rolled her eyes.
	"SOMEONE HELP!" a female voice screamed. The Senshis' heads swiveled
simultaneously to look behind them to see a raven-haired nurse being chased
by what looked like a praying mantis. When she spotted the Senshi, she
screeched to a halt in front of them, then turned around to face the
creature, then back again at the Senshi, as if she was unsure which was the
greater evil.
	"Hey! It's the nurse from the hospital!" Sailor Moon observed, then
clammed up when she realized her faux pas.
	"BAKA!" Luna snapped.
	Wyrm narrowed her eyes at the Senshi. Deciding that the creature was
probably the greater evil, Wyrm-chan adopted a planted stance facing him.
"Usagi, Ami, Rei!" she whispered to the Senshi, "You're job is to protect
innocents from evil, right?" The shell-shocked Senshi just stared; not
another one who knew their secret identities! "AM I RIGHT?!" Wyrm stressed.
At their nodds, she continued, "Then help me take out this bastard!"
	"How did you know--?" Rei started. They might as well wear nametags saying, [Hello, my name is Ami/Rei/Bimbo...] (*THUMP!* "REI NO BAKA!") "Nevermind...Later..."
	"HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!" Sailor Moon whined. "WAAAHHHHHH!! I JUST WANNA
BE A NORMAL GIRL! WAAAHHHHH!!!" The others rolled their eyes.
	Wyrm-chan addressed the creature. "I warn you, creature, I am a master in
the Musabetsu Kakuto Style of Martial Arts! I'm not going to be easily
beaten."
	"Foolish mortal!" Childras roared and struck at her. Wyrm-chan dodged
deftly to the side, letting the blows pass harmlessly. Becoming more and
more frustrated, the youma finally struck down at the nurse-disguised Time
Lord with one of his claws.
	Seeing an opening, Wyrm-chan vaulted over this blow, and planted her feet
firmly into the youma's head. It turned out to be a mistake, as the youma
was not a human, and did not lose his balance as Wyrm expected. Instead, he
took the blow and used the opportunity to slam Wyrm something nasty. She
flew back and landed in a trash heap.
	*CRASH!*
	*CLATTER!*
	*CLANK!*
	"uhh..." Wyrm-chan managed to articulate before passing out with twisty
eyes. (@.@) The Transformation Pen fell out of her pocket and landed with a
clank in the trash heap. The power disengaged and both the nurse's outfit
and figure morphed back into the hospital gown and Wyrm-chan's own.
	"HEY, YOUMA!" Sailor Moon shouted, and doing silly poses. "Nurses are here
to help us get well! To attack them is unforgivable! I am the guardian of
Love and Justice, the beautiful sailor-suited warrior, Sailor Moon! In the
name of the Moon, I shall right wrongs and punish over evil! And that means
you!"
	"What she said!" Mars chimed in.
	"That goes for me, too!" added Mercury.
	"Heh!" Childras hissed. "Prepare to die!"

					End Episode One

[Ending theme: "Wish", Dark Generals]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Begin "Doctor Who" BGM from FOX pilot]

Tj/Wyrm Presents     A GAC Production

                               W   Y   R   M
                                 THE EXILE

                                    *or*

                                    SME*
                            (Sailor Moon Exile)

*(For those of you that thought this meant Sado-Mastocistic Erotica, GET HELP!!)

                                  STARING

	James Hetfield..................................as Jadeite/Wyrm #3
	Miriam Surois.........................................as Wyrm-chan
	Amy Mann.............................................as Mizuno Ami
	Patti Russo............................................as Hino Rei
	Alanna Myles......................................as Tsukino Usagi
	Kasim Sulton.......................................as Chiba Mamoru
	Nancy Sinatra.................................................Luna

                                   WITH

	Meat Loaf...............................................as Wyrm #2
	Leona Helmsley......................................as Queen Beryl
	Sting (YES!)...........................................as Nephlite
	Boy George..............................................as Zoicite
	Monica Seles........................................as Raionji Rui
	Debbie Harry.........................................as Osaka Naru
	Jason Presley..........................................as Childras
	Tim Carry (be afraid; be very afraid).............as Tsukino Kenji
	Cindy Crawford....................................as Tsukino Ikuko
	Mucully Culkin...................................as Tsukono Shingo

					    ARRIVAL
					  Episode Two

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"HEY, YOUMA!" Sailor Moon shouted, and doing silly poses. "Nurses are here
to help us get well! To attack them is unforgivable! I am the guardian of
Love and Justice, the beautiful sailor-suited warrior, Sailor Moon! In the
name of the Moon, I shall right wrongs and punish over evil! And that means
you!"
	"What she said!" Mars chimed in.
	"That goes for me, too!" added Mercury.
	"Heh!" Childras hissed. "Prepare to die!"
	"I don't think so, chumley! MARS FIRE IGNITE!" Sailor Mars shouted and blasted forth hot fire from her fingertips.
	Childras recoiled form the hot touch screaming in pain. 'This is too much
of a risk!' he thought, and promptly beat the heck out of there. 'So much
for gratuitous energy draining.'
	"Hmph! We showed him!" Sailor Moon smiled.
	"You didn't do a thing, ditz."
	"Kono..."
	"Quiet, you two! We need to see to it that nurse is all right, and then we
find Jadeite," Ami interupted.
	The two Sailor Senshi looked downcast as they realized their friend was
right. The three went to where they saw the nurse go down, and found
someone other than the nurse.
	Wyrm-chan lay on the ground disguiseless, the Transformation Pen laying
next to her, and clothed only in a hospital gown. Her eyes were twisty with
forced unconsciousness (@.@).
	"Hey! This isn't the nurse! It's just some girl in a hospital night-gown!"
Sailor Moon observed. Then she saw the artifact lying next to her. "HEY!
That's my disguise pen! What's she doing with it?" she raged as she
recovered it.
	Ami examined the fallen woman with her visor. She gasped. "Her physio-logy
isn't human!"
	"WHAAT?!"
	"Two hearts, a respiratory bypass, some strange miniature organs, nonhuman
(although still red) blood...in fact, they look like Jadeite's readings,"
Ami explained.
	"You mean she's a youma?" Mars stated.
	Ami was disturbed. At no prior time did she not have answers. However,
there was nothing she could do about that now, so she told the unbridled
truth, "I don't know. It's nothing like the physiology of known youma,
except Jadeite. Perhaps it is the biopattern of a Dark General?"
	Luna shook her head. "Can't be. The Dark Kingdom had no female Generals."
She broke off and muttered under her breath, "Zoicite's a poofter, but he
doesn't count."
	"o/~ We're Jews in Space...We go forth to protect the human race... o/~"
sang Wyrm-chan.
	"I have now officially seen it all: a youma who likes Mel Brooks..." Mars
sighed and lifted her upon her shoulders. "Let's take her to the temple."

	Wyrm-chan awoke slowly; her head rang like she had spent the night
slugging down cheap tequila. For all she knew, she probably did. "owww..."
she moaned. "What hit me?"
	"A youma..." answered a frank voice. Ami's, Wyrm realized. It also sounded
like she was typing away at something.
	Rei stood over her again. "Alright...Who are you?"
	"What do you mean, who am I?" replied Wyrm. "What are you talking about, Rei?"
	Rei grabbed her by the scruff of the pajamas she now wore. "Come off it!"
she hissed. "How come you know our names?! The fact that we're the Sailor
Senshi?!"
	Wyrm glanced over to Ami. Looking back at Rei, she asked, "I suppose it's
too late to convince you that I'm human, ne?" Rei nodded slowly. Wyrm
sighed. "Okay, it's like this...I saw right through whatever disguise you
use to hide your civilian identities. It boggles ordinary humans, but it
doesn't work on us."
	"Who is 'us'?" Luna asked.
	Wyrm stared at the cat with a crecent moon on its forehead. "The cat
talks?" she asked.
	"Well, duh!" Luna snorted.
	"To answer your question..." Wyrm began. The Senshi leaned in, expectant.
"I can't." They facefaulted (making Rei drop Wyrm, "*oof!*"). Wyrm-chan
sighed. "I wish I _could_ remember, so I could tell you, but I can't," she
explained. "I was forced to regenerate this time...that's much harsher than
a natural or self-triggered regeneration..."
	"Regeration?" Ami asked.
	Wyrm-chan scratched her head. "I'm really sorry about this, but my brain
isn't working right. Acute post-regenerative shock," Wyrm explained. "Yeah,
I'll be out of it for quite a while yet. I know what I'm suffering from and
what causes it, but not what it actually is."
	"How long?" Ami asked.
	"Anywhere from an hour to a few days," Wyrm answered. "Part of my
long-term memory has been scrambled. It'll sort itself out eventually, but
it'll take time." Wyrm-chan closed her eyes in thought. Then held her head
in her hand, trying to force an uncooperative brain to work. The bewildered
Time Lord sighed and mumbled, "Time...Time...Time...That seems familiar
somehow...but I can't quite remember..." She sighed with frustration.
	Ami came over to their "guest" to examine her. "Well, I'm sure being
roughed up by that youma didn't help any. You might have selective amnesia
brought on by the trauma."
	"Could be...I can't remember," Wyrm-chan replied with a wry grin.
	Ami smiled, appreciating the humor. "Actually, you're lucky you got off as
well as you did; most people would be dead from that."
	"I'm made of sterner stuff than most. I've taken punches that drove me
through trees, but barely fazed me," Wyrm appeared to be boasting, but it
was actually the straight truth. His/her training was in a world where the
human body was the most dangerous of machines.
	The Senshi seemed to relax a little. Not much. "Does Beryl know about us?"
	Wyrm thought hard, trying to remember. "No," she said with certainty.
"Jadeite was imprisoned in Eternal Crystal before he could tell her." That
seemed to make the Senshi relax a little. Not much.
	However, the news that Wyrm's spitting-image was still in crystal struck
Ami as odd. "But, if that was true, then how could Jadeite appear on
Earth?"
	"He didn't; he's still imprisoned," Wyrm replied.
	The Senshi narrowed their eyes. 'She obviously doesn't know what she's
talking about...' they thought simultaneously. "Forget it," sighed Usagi,
"How were you able to get my Transformation Pen, and operate it, for that
matter?"
	Wyrm beamed proudly. "Elemetary trancendental dimentionality and
crystaline piezodynamics!" she stated modestly. "I just reached into the
interface of the pocket and brought the pen out. As for activating it, I
merely beamed some carefully chosen sonic vibrations into the quartzonium
crystal, which forced it to activate."
	Ami nodded as if in understanding. Of course, she probably understood the
basic principles fine, but she would need the details to truly grasp what
Wyrm was saying. But she was only sixteen, while Wyrm was over six-hundred.
Give her a break! :)
	Needless to say, the other Senshi were lost on this point. "Uh, right..."
Usagi murmured.
	The girls went into a huddle. "Now what?" Usagi asked.
	Wyrm lifted a hand to her head. Things were beginning to get blurry again.
'Damn! The shock's coming back!' Within seconds, she was out again.
	"It's wierd...I get the feeling that we can trust her," Rei murmured.
	"You too?" Ami asked.
	"Hey! She may know our identities, but she seems like a trustworthy
person..." Usagi agreed.
	"Break!" Rei said and turned around. "Lady, we...oh!"
	Ami moved up beside her and tapped a few buttons on her computer.
"Hmmm...She's unconscious..."
	Rei looked at Usagi, who looked at Rei. "Daja vu all over again!" the
priestess observed.

	Wyrm-chan slept more or less peacefully; that is until something happened.
Childras peeked in holding an ebony crystal. 'Hmmm...I wonder why the
crystal lead me to her?' he wondered.
	Using a more productive approach than randomly wandering around Tokyo, he
looked in the local hospital registers for a permutation of the Dark
General's name, and found one in "Jay Dite". Typical. He tracked down the
room and found it empty, a friendly orderly telling him that Jadeite had
been patient-napped. Thus, Childras fashioned a crystal to find the former
occupant of the room.
	The crystal had lead him to this temple and directed him to her. At first,
he thought that the crystal was going wonky, but then he considered that
Jadeite had merely changed forms to remain incognito. What better way than
to disguise yourself as the opposite sex?
	Childras looked toward the girl standing watch over her. Perhaps a friend
he/she had made in the human world. She would have to be taken out before
he could do anything.
	Rei looked back toward Wyrm. The woman hadn't moved in two hours.
'Probably hovering right on the edge of consciousness,' she thought. She
thought back when she and the others put a pair of her pajamas on her. 'She
and Usagi were probably separated at birth...'
	Then the door smashed open, revealing Childras in his human Glamour.
	"Hey! What are you--!" Rei started before she was smashed into the wall by a powerful arm-swipe.
	Childras smiled as he approached the resting woman. The racket had not
caused her to rouse, which was good, as it would make capture a little
easier.
	Knowing the parylizing power of holy wards, Childras carefully retrieved
one of them from the priestess' possession with tongs. Turning Wyrm-chan
abruptly over, startling her, he slapped the ward over her mouth. Wyrm
froze; if she moved, she would probably have been manhandled. But if she
stood still, he would think that the ward had worked and would use no other
restraint.
	Childras carefully moved her to a waiting wheelchair and rolled her out.
They got about halfway out before Wyrm made her break. Childras had turned
around to open a door, when Wyrm proceeded to immediately race away on the
wheelchair as fast as her hands could pump the wheels (which was pretty
damn fast).
	"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Childras yelled and rushed after her.
	Wyrm-chan didn't stop. She headed set course for a place of relative
safety, the TARDIS. 'NOW I remember where it is!' she fumed. 'Probably the
adrenaline.'

	Sailors Moon and Mercury tried again to break open the TARDIS under the
supervision of Luna, but it steadfastly refused to break. Moon's tiara just
bounced off the door, and it wasn't as if Mercury's Shabon Spray was a
powerful attack. Instead, she scanned the TARDIS to see what could crack
it. To all her scans, it looked like an ordinary telephone booth, which
just didn't make sense.
	Needless to say, they weren't getting anywhere.
	"COME BACK HERE, BITCH!" came a grating voice. Just then, a speeding
wheelchair carrying Wyrm-chan burst through the hedges and hit an
unfortunate stone. She spilled out of the chair and stopped rolling at
Moon's feet.
	"What are you doing here?" asked Moon.
	"*Mmph!*" Wyrm-chan mumbled through the ward, gesturing behind her.
	Childras, in full youma form, burst from that direction. Then froze.
"The...Sailor Senshi?" it rattled in fear.
	"That's right! I am Sailor Moon!" Moon announced. "For the crimes that you
have committed, afformentioned in a previous announcement, I shall punish
you!"
	"You ABBREVIATED one of those speeches?" Mercury asked incredule.
	"Hey, cut me some slack! I'm not completely stupid!" Moon snapped back.
	Childras stepped back, thinking. The Senshi probably didn't even know that
girl was Jadeite in a drag glamour. "Okay, Sailor Brats...Let's cut a deal.
Beryl wants that girl back, and she doesn't care what I have to do to get
her back. In return, we'll free Raionji Rui from our influence."
	"Rui's being influenced?" Sailor Moon asked.
	"Yes," confirmed the youma. "Give her to me and we'll free Rui."
	Sailor Moon looked over to Sailor Mercury, who looked back. They looked at
the girl at their feet; she was spontaneously out again, apparently. Should
they make a deal with the devil? Something just didn't feel right about
that.
	Their minstrations were cut short by a rose impacting the ground between
the two groups. All conscious members looked up at the thrower. "TUXEDO
MASK!" the girls cheered.
	The black-clad watcher lectured to the girls. "Don't sell out people and
doom them to suffering, Sailor Moon. To give her or anyone to Queen Beryl
to suffer in the place of another. That is an act of selfish evil."
	Moon and Mercury nodded in understanding. "No deal!" Moon said.
	"I see," Childras hissed. "Then I'll just have to destroy you!" He raised
his head and spewed out thick strands of mucousy fluid. Moon and Mercury
shrieked in surprise and dived to the side.
	Sailor Mercury stood, focusing her power into a small bubble before her.
"Shabon...SPRAY!" she announced, and sent forth her fog, blocking
everyone's view.
	Lost in the fog, the vaults in Wyrm's mind began creeking open. 'The
adrenaline! Stress! The brain's working!' she thought. 'Not enough on its
own, but if I can get into the TARDIS...'
	The two Senshi became aware of a buzz above them. They looked up to see
the outline of Childras flying above them. "I can see you!" the insectoid
sang, and sent forth its glue again. It wraped its way around a stunned
Sailor Moon and Mercury. They soon found themselves trapped in a sticky
ball of gum.
	"Yuuuck! This will just take forever to clean out!" Moon complained.
	"We've got other things to worry about, Sailor Moon!" Mercury reminded.
	Childras laughed. "Now I shall take the girl and--*OOF!*" Childras was
interrupted by a screaming kiai and a kick to his midsection.
	"TEIIIIIII!!!" called Wyrm-chan as she had risen out of the fog to strike
the creature head on.
	Childras was forced back, losing some altitude in the process. "Grrr!
Die!" he roared, and spat at the offending creature.
	Unfortunately for him, Childras knew nothing about the Martial Arts Super
Jump, which allows such practitioners to change momentum in the air without
visible means. Wyrm used it to change her direction enough to avoid the
goo, and she came in for an attack.
	"KASHUU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!!" she shouted, and Childras was suddenly
riddled with hundreds of punches, forcing him into the ground. Wyrm-chan
landed next to the Senshi and pulled them toward the TARDIS. "C'mon! I'll
get ya out of that stuff!" she assured.
	She reached into the neck of the pajamas, then frantically began searching
her person. "Wait! Where's the key? I lost the key!" she paniced.
	"Is that was it is?" Luna came up with the key in her mouth. "It won't fit
in the lock," she said when Wyrm removed it.
	"Oh, that's just the guardplate," Wyrm explained. She shot a reprochful
stare at Luna and said, "You really shouldn't take things that aren't
yours." She flipped open the guardplate (which looked like a Yale lock),
and inserted the key into the arpeture revealed. It turned easily, and the
TARDIS door opened.
	"We won't all fit in there!" Mercury said, taking a quick look at the booth.
	Wyrm-chan smiled. "You're in for a surprise."

	"WOW!" Moon, Mercury and Luna and gasped together as Wyrm threw open the
door to the console room. It was BIG! Much bigger than the small clearing
that the TARDIS sat in.
	In the center was an eight-sided mushroom-shaped hardwood console packed
with blinking lights, switches, levers, dials, and touchscreens indicating
obscure statuses of the machine they were now in. The console controls were
a mix of Jules Verne, Star Trek, Modern Era, and other unidentifiable types
of controls. The touch-screens featured strange symbols and menus of
choices.
	Above the console was an awning that contained various screens displaying
in more detail what was on the screens of the main console. They also
seemed to be general purpouse screens that could be literally anything as
opposed to dedicated screens and controls.
	The middle of the awning streached down to attach to the top of a clear
cylinder that streached to meet the center platform of the console below.
Inside were two symetrical bundles of eight beveled crystaline rods
arranged at equal intervals around a circumference. Each of their bevels
slanted inward, and was held rigid by a swashplate near the dangling end.
They were currently at the retracted position in the bottom and the top of
the cylinder.
	Supporting the awning were six struts reaching to the ceiling and then
buttressing over to the awning itself, anchoring it to them. Each of the
struts had glowing conduits in their centers.
	Opposite the door they came in was another door leading deeper into the
TARDIS. On its right side was an array of closets and drawers. On the left
of the door was a large library of similar books with a touchscreen by it.
To the left of that was a small shrine of some sort, and to the left of
that and the right of the main door was an array of controls and monitors
of similar construction and mix as the main console. To the left of the
entryway was a blank section of wall covered by two hardwood shutters, and
to the left of that was a row of six lockers and a small alcove.
	The vaulted ceiling up to the awning was separated into six sections
separated by six buttresses extending to the struts holding up the awning.
Sailor Mercury noted that the sections of the wall looked odd for some
reason. Machinery occupied the space just above the awning.
	The decor in general was very Gothic; columns, arches, and gargoyles.
Candles littered the place, although it was a number of glowing strips and
points that illuminated the place. A dominating image in the structure was
a complicated and curly yin-yang like symbol sported most prominently above
the entryway.
	Altogether, an amazing structure.
	"Wow!" repeated Sailor Moon. "It's bigger on the inside than it is on the
outside!"
	"Of course it is," Wyrm replied casually. "It's a TARDIS."
	"I see," murmured Mercury.
	Wyrm shot a slightly incredulous look her way. "Do you?"
	"No."
	"This is yours?" Moon asked.
	"Yep...Built her from the ground up; the Type TT 12000C-deluxe TARDIS!"
Wyrm-chan announced. Then something clicked as the combination of the
familiar and telepathically linked TARDIS worked with the residual
adrenaline in her blood, stimulating her brain. She grimaced and pressed
her temple to suppress a headache comming on.
	"Are you alright?" Ami asked.
	But Wyrm did not answer. Her memories were in chaos. The vaults of
experiences deep within Wyrm-chan's mind were ripped open, causing an
influx of jumbled images to invade her mind. The pain came in waves as the
TARDIS's telepathic circuits wove her memories together into a coherent
whole.
	When the pain passed, Wyrm-chan opened her eyes and shouted, "That's it!"
	"What?"
	Wyrm smiled. "I remember who I am!" she shouted triumphantly. "I am a Time
Lord...Renegade from the Citadel...Member of the Prydonian Order...I AM
WYRM OF GALLIFREY!" She laughed aloud in relief that her shock had blown
over. It was then something occured to her; she looked down. "But I think
I'll need some proper clothes..."
	"Could you get us out of here first?" Ami asked.
	Wyrm-chan turned back with an embarrased grin. "Sure. I'll get the plasma
torch..." She stepped over to one of the lockers.

	"There!" Wyrm-chan said triumphantly, severing the last bit with a plasma
torch. Now wraped in a bathrobe from one of the lockers, she stood as
Sailor Moon worked herself free of the strands. "Oh, you might as well
change back into your street clothes, Usagi and Ami."
	Sailor Moon and Mercury gave embarrassed smiles and changed back into
civilian dress.
	"Where you going now, Wyrm-san?" Usagi asked.
	"To get something more decent than a bathrobe on," Wyrm-chan explained.
	"I can help you choose!" Usagi jumped up and down wildly, her pigtails
flailing.
	"And I'd like to know more about this 'TARDIS' of yours," Ami added.
	"And I'll keep Usagi out of your hair," Luna further amended.

	Deep inside the bowels of the TARDIS, Wyrm and her three female companions
(two of whom were human) proceeded down unending corridors. The major
corridors were high and wide, and looked all the world like gothic
cathedral halls. The minor corridors, on the other hand, had a sleek and
sterile white-walled appearence with roundals depressed in some walls.
	Ami scanned kept a map with her computer, except the poor thing barked at
her every few minutes, protesting that the map could not fit in normal
space. Such features included hairpin turns that contained doors or protals
on the inner walls that held rooms too large to fit in the wall of the
hairpin; corridors that wrap around in figure-eights, crossing each other,
but not connecting. Sometimes the space folded back on itself in such a way
that they would pass through a room, decend a couple of flights, and then
find themselves in the same room. Eventually, Ami just gave up.
	"Tell us, Wyrm-san, why is the TARDIS bigger on the inside than it is on
the outside?" Ami asked finally.
	Wyrm-chan smiled. She knew that eventually one of them would pop that
question. "Well, your computer was having problems mapping out the
structure, right?" she asked.
	"Well, yes. What's your point?" came the reply.
	"And what does it say?"
	"It says, 'This map cannot exist in three-dimensional space'. Ohhhh!" Ami
gasped in realization.
	"Smart girl," Wyrm complimented. "The inside and outside do not share the
same dimensions. The 'outside', as you call it, is merely ashell
surrounding and anchoring the dimensional interface between the TARDIS and
the Real World. And since the inside is in no way bounded by the
outside..."
	"...both the inside and outside can be any shape and size as you please,"
Ami finished.
	"Correct. It also means that the mass outside is no way related to the
mass inside. You would make a great Time Lady!" Wyrm said.
	Ami beamed. "Thank you!"
	"D-uh...I'm confused..." Usagi murmured.
	Luna sighed. "This is no surprise."
	Ami giggled. "So, where are we going?"
	"Kitchen!" Wyrm-chan declared. "I'll need to get something before I can go
to the cloak room."

	Arriving in the kitchen, it didn't look like a kitchen. It looked like the
interior of a five-star restraunt. Along the hardwood sides were small
alcoves. A door lay beyond the "kitchen".
	"Why is everything so big?!" Usagi gaped.
	Wyrm-chan shrugged. "Gallifreyan grandeur complex?" she hazzarded, an
amused smile on her face. "Actually, since there can be, in principle, an
infinite number of passengers, or very large numbers of passengers at any
rate, there is a need to make things big so that you can service a large
number of passengers.
	"Anyway, this is just the main kitchen. There are several smaller kitchens
scattered around, as well as a large number of these..." she concluded and
stepped over to one of the small alcoves there. It was just above tabletop
level and looked like it could fit two small televisions side-by-side. She
spoke to the alcove. "Water, medium hot."
	A small teakettle rezzed into existance in the alcove.
	At their amazed looks, Wyrm said, "Matter replicator. As for the water..."
Wyrm-chan then took the teakettle and upended it over her head. The water
poured out and steam rose around her. Her form twisted into another shape,
the one that Ami had helped Sailor Mars carry to the hospital. "Hi!" he
said.
	"JADEITE! You tricked us all along!" Usagi squealed.
	Wyrm made no-no gestures with his hands, looking like maybe he made just a
SMALL error in judgement. "N-Now wait, Usagi...Calm down..."
	"MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!"
	"Hoboy..."
	"MERCURY POWER, MAKE UP!" Ami intoned.
	"Et tu, Ami?" Wyrm sweated.
	The two girls started their respective transformations. Wyrm noted a brief
glimpse of skin (echi!), but remembered that these two girls were going to
try to make him into a wyrm-kebab in a few moments.
	Then again, if he ran, the Senshi would likely rampage through the TARDIS
to try to destroy what they thought was an evil machine. Now, he couldn't
let them do that to his TARDIS.
	"I'll get ye fer this, Borusa!" he growled apostrophetically.
	By now, the two Senshi had finished transforming and were ready to rock.
"I am the pretty sailor suited warrior, Sailor Moon!" announced Usagi, now
the said warrior, and accompanied the speech by silly gestures. "I fight
for love and justice! I shall right wrongs and triumph over evil, and that
means you!" She ended up with her right fist in the crook of the elbow,
index extended toward him.
	Sailor Mercury copied Moon's jestures and made her own speech. "And I am
Sailor Mercury, and I also shall correct injustice and prevail over ill. On
behalf of the Planet Mercury, I shall dicipline you!"
	Wyrm remained silent, back turned to them.
	"C'mon, Jadeite!" Moon shouted.
	Wyrm didn't respond. Didn't even move.
	Above all, Sailor Moon HATED being ignored. She stormed up to Wyrm and
grabbed his shoulder. "LISTEN UP, YOU--!" Her words froze as she gaped in
complete astonishment.
	It wasn't Wyrm, rather, a scarecrow dressed like Wyrm with one of those
silly hiragana faces on it. It collapsed to the ground.
	Wyrm popped out from under a table. "Your speeches are WAY too long, you
know that?" he taunted, seving up a full akanbee. *beeda*
	"K-Kono..." she fumed. She almost ripped off her tiara. "MOON TIARA
ACTION!" Sailor Moon shouted and sent the tiara flying at Wyrm.
	Wyrm automatically dodged to the side. "Woah! Sore spot!" he jested. The
tiara flew back to Moon's hand.
	Sailor Mercury was powering up for a Shabon Spray when she saw Wyrm dodge
out of the way ofthe tiara. 'Jadeite would never do that!' she thought.
	"MOON...TIARA..." Moon chanted again. "...ACTION!" She let it fly again.
This time, Wyrm ducked under the table. The tiara followed him, smashing it
to pieces. "Moon dusted!" Sailor Moon concluded.
	Wyrm popped out from under a table behind her. "Not by a longshot,
Dearheart!" he said and disappeared under.
	"Howdedoit!?" Moon shouted. She snatched her tiara from the wreckage of
the first table and started, "MOON...TIARA..."
	"Oi! Over here!" shouted Wyrm, popping out from under a third table before
disappearing again.
	"...ACTION!"
	*BOOM!*
	"Missed!"
	"HEY! MOON TIARA ACTION!"
	*CRASH!*
	"Try again!"
	"Why you little! MOON TIARA ACTION!"
	*SLICE!*
	"So you can hit tables. Big, harry deal. Hit ME, rabbit-girl!"
	"STAND STILL!! MOON TIARA ACTION!!!"
	*BA-KOOM!*
	"Hey! Why are you hitting that one, you baka ditz?!"
	"TEMEE!!! MOON TIARA FUCKING ACTION!!!!!!"
	*BAAAA-KAAAA-ROOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!*
	"I think she's losing it," Sailor Mercury bigsweated.
	"I agree," the cat nodded.
	"One last chance, Usagi! Hit me! No brainer!" Wyrm called dancing around
in place, making himself the perfect target.
	Sailor Moon's face was contorted in a very unapealing fashion. "KONO
KUSO-BAKAYAROU!!" Mercury blinked at both the language and the red aura
just barely flickering around Moon. "She is pissed!"
	"Busu..." Wyrm taunted.
	That did it! Ami saw her aura pulse and expand suddenly as Moon's eyes
flashed fire and the visible flicker grew. "JADEITE, YOU WILL _DIE_!
MOON... TIARA..." she roared, pulling back her arm to throw the tiara.
	'Here it comes...' Wyrm thought, planning exactly how to move. He glanced
toward Mercury, to make sure that she was not going to interfere. Wyrm
gathered his ki. "ISHIRYUU..." he chanted.
	"...ACTION!!" Sailor Moon screamed and let loose the tiara at Wyrm. A
streamer of red aura had wrapped itself around the discus.
	"...UROKO!!!!!" bellowed Wyrm, and a disk of red aura flickered into
existance before him. The tiara hit, richocetting off the ki-shield and off
the walls and through the columns. It returned to Sailor Moon's hand.
	"OKAY, ONE MORE TIME!" Sailor Moon shouted. She pulled back her throwing
hand. "MOON...TIARA..."
	Wyrm wasn't paying attention to her, as he noticed that the column behind
Moon was starting to fall toward her. Ignoring his own survival instinct,
Wyrm rushed forward. "USAGI!!!" he yelled.
	Of course, Sailor Moon took this as an attack and suicide run.
"...ACTION!" she shouted, and let the tiara fly.
	It was a good thing that Wyrm had good reflexes, as he dodged the tiara
with only a cut on his cheek. He had no time to mind the pain, so it passed
him over. Sailor Moon saw that her attack failed and started to scream as
Wyrm neared her with a determined look on his face. She shut her eyes; this
was the end...
	"WATCH OUT!!!" came his shout. It thoroughly surprised Moon. And Mercury.
'What could he possibly be talking about?' Mercury wondered. She looked for
something that could be considered dangerous, and her eyes came to rest on
the column, separated from its moutings by the tiara richocette, falling
toward her blonde friend.
	Sailor Mercury shouted a warning to Moon, "THE COLUMN!"
	Wyrm grasped Moon around the waist and threw himself and her clear of the
danger zone as the column crashed down on a few remaining tables in the
area. They landed with an uncomfortable thud near Mercury, Sailor Moon held
cradled in Wyrm's arms.
	"Oh my!" Sailor Mercury kasumied.
	Moon uncovered teary eyes, and found herself looking into Wyrm's face.
"You gotta...*huff*...watch where...*pant*...you throw
around...*gasp*...your toys..." he managed to say, pointing to the fallen
column. Sailor Moon stared where she had just been, and shivered. If Wyrm
hadn't saved her, she would be Sailor Okonomiyaki by now.
	"You-You saved me," Moon teared.
	"Don't worry about it," he gasped. "Only my first day here, and I get into
a life-or-death fight with the last person I wanted one with. Ohhh,
Borusa's gonna PAY!!"
	"You're not Jadeite, are you," Mercury said.
	Wyrm snorted. "What makes you say that?" he asked sarcastically, a smile
materializing on his face.
	Mercury smiled gently. "Jadeite has enough power to just stop Sailor
Moon's tiara in midair. You dodged and avoided it, only able to parry it
with that shield technique, and I know that you did not use magic to do
that. Furthermore, you got cut dodging her last shot. So, I got thinking
about why. Why didn't you just stop it if you had the power?"
	"Short answer, I couldn't!" Wyrm replied, releasing Sailor Moon and sitting up.
	"Ergo, you're not Jadeite at all, but someone who looks remarkably like
him," Mercury concluded. "Besides, he would NEVER risk his life to save
Sailor Moon."
	Moon and Luna absorbed what they were saying. Luna was the first to speak
up. "There is no excuse, Wyrm-san...We should have not been so hasty in
judging you..."
	Wyrm harumphed. "I don't blame you. The High Council chose this form for
me for a reason," he said darkly, "to put me not on the best of terms with
you guys on the off-chance that I might be killed because of it."
	"And we almost did. *sniff!*" Sailor Moon sniffled, eyes doey and dancing
with tears. She glomped Wyrm around the chest ("*whouf!*") in a hug,
crying, "WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!!"
	"There's nothing to forgive, Rabbit," Wyrm comforted her, stroking her
hair. "Just glad that you realize your mistake. Now, leggo before you get
my clothes damp..." he ordered gently.
	"Thank you..." Usagi said as her Sailor Moon uniform dissolved. She let go
of Wyrm to look him in the eye. "How did that sexchange thing happen?"
	"Something I picked up about six centuries ago," he told them as he got to
his feet.
	"CENTURIES?!"
	"There an echo in here?" Wyrm playfully held a hand to his ear. "Yes,
centuries. We Time Lords live a long time, you see, because of our
regenera-tions. When our old bodies wear out, we regenerate into a new
one."
	"And how many regenerations have you gone through?" Ami asked. "Eight or so?"
	"Nah. Just went through my second regeneration recently," Wyrm answered.
"Neither of them were past middle aged. And on top of that, I've had a
rough life, you see..."
	"Wow..." Ami gaped. "That would mean that each body would live for
hundreds of years."
	"Each of my bodies can live for just over nine-hundred years, give or take
a century or two. However, as I've said, I've had a rough life. As for the
reason I look like Jadeite while male is because this is the form I was
regenerated into, purpousefully. Someone used Jadeite's bio-projection for
the template of this body," he said as he moved again toward the
replicator. "What would you three like to have?"
	"Chocolate sundae!" Usagi shouted estatic.
	"Tuna treats," Luna said.
	"Hot Earl Grey tea." Ami requested. "Expain to us about regeneration."
	"Regeneration is a proccess that all Time Lords can go through when their
bodies get fatally damaged or terminally ill from disease or old age," Wyrm
explianed. "It's a proccess that rejuvinates our cells, rewrites our
genetic code, and repairs any damage in a matter of seconds.
	"Unfortunately, it also is very stressful on the body; it eats up all the
blood sugars and consumes much of our reserves. The revision also skews our
genetic codes, and the thirteenth rewrite produces an unviable code, and we
die. Thus, Time Lords in general have thirteen lives," Wyrm explained. He
turned to the replicator and said, "Tea, Earl Grey, hot. Sundae, chocolate.
Cat food, tuna treats. Baka Pepper, cold." When the terminal acknowledged
his choice, he added, "In certain, rare instances, one regeneration out of
a million, the Time Lord, or Time Lady as the case may be, may actually
change apparent race or even sex."
	The afformentioned items appeared in the replicator terminal. Wyrm took
them out and handed the sundae to Usagi, laid the tuna treats next to Luna
(who immediately began devouring it), and the tea to Ami. He kept the Baka
Pepper for himself.
	"Is that sexchange thing what happened to you?"
	Wyrm laughed aloud and shook his head no. "I've only regenerated twice so
far." His voice grew slightly somber. "However...I have an...odd...genetic
makeup. My father had a gene that produces an emzyme that does what my Time
Lord emzyme does, except that it does it much more efficiently and
robustly. Theoretically, I could have anywhere from seventeen to seventy
more regenera-tions.
	"No one knows, of course. I'll have to just see. But if it's true," Wyrm
said, somewhat grimly, "I'll live a VERY long time. I might actually
exper-ience a transexual regneration." A wry grin crossed his face. "At
least I won't be _completely_ unprepared for being female." This raised
smiles from the two girls and cat.
	"I think I'm beginning to see," Ami smiled.
	"I don't doubt it. You're about as smart as a Time Lord, you know," Wyrm
smiled. "Anyway, I change sexes because I have a simulated Jusenkyo curse;
cold water changes you into your cursed form, hot water turns you back. My
cursed form happes to be a female version of myself with a different color
of hair. So far, I've had fire-engine red, blond, and black in my current
regeneration." He then drained the rest of his Baka Pepper. "Are you three
about done? It's time to move on and choose my attire."
	"If you're so *chomp, chomp* despirate for clothes *smack*, why didn't you
just *slurp* grab your old set *chomp, gulp* before clearing out?" Usagi
asked, finishing off the sundae.
	"Remember what I said about changing tastes?" Wyrm asked, with an
embarrased look on his face. "Well, I used to like that attire, but now I
think that it's tacky as hell. That's why I'm going to the cloak room; to
pick up a new set of threads." He stood up from his seat, tossing the can
of Baka Pepper into the waste disposal bin. "Let's go."
	"Okay," said the three of them, and disposed of their trash. The three of
them continued toward the cloak room.

	Childras was frustrated beyond words. He had seen his target and the
Sailor Senshi go into that telephone booth, but it was resisting his each
and every attempt to break in.
	Tuxedo Mask watched with some concern. He had seen three girls and one cat
enter that phone booth, even though it looked impossible for only two of
them to do so, let alone three. Of course dimentional trancendentality
didn't occur to him. He just hoped that the girls were safe.

	Wyrm stopped just outside a large oak door, threw them open, and stepped
into the room. The two girls and cat followed.
	"WOAH, MOMMA!" the females yelped.
	Inside was the most extensive collection of clothes they had ever seen.
Even Luna's memory of the Moon Kingdom, as dim as it was, remembered no
wardrobe even approaching this size. In fact, she had the nasty suspicion
that some of the fashions included were Moon Kingdom. The cloak room
reached the ceiling, which happened to be several times the hieght of a
gothic cathedral.
	The clothes themselves were distributed in double-sided isles and the
ceiling of one layer became the floor of another. In these isles were the
clothes and jewelry of millions of different cultures over thousands of
different periods each.
	"Now this is what I call a wardrobe!" Luna breathed. Usagi didn't respond.
Her eyes were glittering as she surveyed the racks and racks of clothes.
	"I want it..." she whispered.
	"Later, Usagi. Now, to choose my outfit..." Wyrm grinned, wiping his hands
together. "After all, I think I ruined Rei's pajamas." He shifted
uncomfortably. "And it is a little tight around the chest." That raised
smiles.
	Wyrm made a couple of attempts at his attire...

	He first came out in a circa-2367 Starfleet command uniform. "How's this?"
he asked. This first made the three draw Bigsweats (tm) from their
foreheads.
	Luna was the first to snap out of it. "Wyrm! We're trying to look
inconspicuous!"
	Wyrm blinked. "Too much?"
	"YES!" all three snapped.
	"Hang on!" he said, and went back into the cloak room...

	...and came out in a Roman Senator's outfit, complete with tunic, toga,
sandles, and shoes. At their glaring stares, Wyrm asked, "No? I'll try
again!" He ducked back into the cloak room...

	...and stepped out in a bobby outfit, a British beat cop. "How's this?" he asked. The three other sentients bigsweated. "I could always alter my TARDIS to look like a police box."
	"No," Usagi said sternly.
	"Aw please..." Wyrm pouted.
	"No," Usagi repeated.
	Wyrm shook his head. "Spoilsports," he grumbled and walked back into the
cloak room...

	...and strode out in the outfit of the King. Of Rock and Roll, that is. It
was white with sequens, flared bellbottoms, and heels. Red and blue
sparkling trim completed his look.
	He struck a pose, holding a prop mike to his lips. "Uh-huh!" he Elvised.
	"Uh-uh," Usagi contradicted sternly.
	"Ahhh, babeh...Elvis has left the building..." Wyrm continued his Elvis
and strutted back into the cloak room saying,
"Thankyou...Thankyouvereh-much..." The door closed...

	...and opened and Wyrm strode out proudly in a bearskin and weilding a
club. He smiled. "Well?"
	"NO!!!!!" the three shouted, making Wyrm jump back. He snapped his fingers
in disappointment and stepped back into the cloak room...

	...and came back out again as a Viking, complete with horned helmet and
shield, and using his spear as a walking stick. He had a hopeful smile on
his lips. The three girls had stern looks on their faces, shaking their
heads slowly, in phase, and in unison.
	Wyrm lowered his head in sadness and returned to the cloak room...

	...and came back out yet again dressed in a white button-down shirt, long
beige overcoat with matching fedora hat, white sports jacket and grey
slacks. Brown wingtips were over his feet, and a Zodiac umbrella (with a
tapered spike at the end) was held in hand and resting on his shoulder.
"How do I look?" he asked, flicking back his long hair, now pulled back
into a ponytail with a white tie.
	"Like a mad cross between Humphrey Bogart and Ryo Saeba," answered Ami deadpan.
	Wyrm looked surprised and disappointed. "If it's not to your liking, I can
always try again," he offered.
	"NO!" all three yelped. "Don't worry! That'll be fine!" Usagi said
nervously. She didn't want him to go back in and choose something worse and
waste more time doing it.
	"Good! Then it had the effect I was looking for," Wyrm said and started
walking again. "Back to the console room!"

	After a few minutes, the four were back inside the console room where they
began. Wyrm sat down in the easy chair next to the library and the sofa,
which the girls sat down with him.
	Wyrm retrieved what tools he had stored in a concealed place on his person
(a technique he leared from a certain Joketsuzoku warrior), and started
stuffing his pockets with them. He then proceeded to shove various odds and
ends and unidentifiable and seemingly functionless knicknacks into his
overcoat pockets, among them a few paper bags sitting next to him on a
table. "Maybe next time I might develop a taste for that eightteen-foot
scarf that Romana knitted me," he quipped, nodding to an flong scarf on the
hatrack in the far corner.
	Usagi blinked. "Are those exclaimation marks on the lappels?"
	Wyrm nodded, brushing the lappels off and showing that they were indeed
exclaimation marks. "The Doctor always wore question marks on his lappels,
and as a joke I started wearing bangs on my own." Wyrm smiled as he
remembered the prank. "The practice stuck."
	"'Bangs'?" Usagi asked.
	"Hacker-speak for 'exclaimation mark'," Ami explained.
	"USAGI!" Luna yowled, causing Usagi to fall off the sofa again. "I just
remembered! You need to get home! Your family's probably worried sick about
you!"
	Usagi groaned. "Jeez, great Luna! My mom said that if I was late one more
time, I'd be grounded for life."
	Wyrm jumped up from his seat. "Well, no time like the present, eh?" he
asked and strolled over to the console and started manipulating the
controls.
	"What are you doing?" Ami asked, stroling over.
	"Setting coordinates for Usagi's house, of course!" Wyrm grinned. "A few
hours ago. She'll arrive way before her curfew."
	"All right!" Usagi smiled.
	With fevor, Wyrm threw the main power switch and activated the
demater-ialization mode of the dematerialization circuit and the
multidimensional stabilizer. Now, normally, this would result in the
dimentional interface of the TARDIS dematerializing (the outer shell of the
TARDIS, now shaped like a phone booth), and the TARDIS itself leaping into
the spacetime vortex and into temporal orbit. That's what would normally
would have happened. But the Time Lords had been doing some...monkeying
around...with the TARDIS systems
	The two bundles of beveled rods in the clear cylinder moved together,
meshing perfectly up to their swashplates, and accompanied by a groan.
However, the motion was jerky and the sound was wheezy and grinding. It
didn't sound to good to the trained ears of Wyrm.
	"Uh oh!" he murmured.
	"What's wrong?" Ami asked.
	"The time rotor's jamming!" he declared with some alarm. A jamming time
rotor is a Bad Thing. "It means that either the TARDIS is breaking up and
we'll all perish in the spacetime Vortex ..."
	"BREAKING UP?!?! PERISH!?!?" Usagi squealed. "WAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I DON'T
WANNA PERISH! I'M TOO CUTE TO PERISH! WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! WHAT DOES
'PERISH' MEAN ANYWAY?!!" Wyrm opened his umbrella and shielded the console
and himself from the deluge.
	"...or," he added, over Usagi's wails, "it means that we haven't
demateriallized properly and can't enter the Vortex..." He checked a few
readings over the twin dins of the jamming rotor and Usagi's sobbing.
	A panel blew underneath the TARDIS, startling the girls (making Usagi wail
more), and Wyrm killed the power. It made an almost comical *twang!* as the
rotor stopped dead. Crawling beneath the console, he poked into the blown
pannel, then hissed with pain as he pulled his hand back and fanned it
down. "Ouch! Hot!" Wyrm pulled out a handkerchief and using it as a
potholder, pulled out a tetrahedral-shaped "tube" out of the console. "Ah!
Here's the problem..."
	"What is it?" asked Ami.
	"This," he said crawling up from beneath the console and holding up the
errant circuit tube, "is why we couldn't move: the dematerialization
circuit. It dissolves the outer plasmitic shell of the TARDIS in concert
with the multidimensional stabilizer to allow the TARDIS to enter the
spacetime Vortex."
	"WHAT?!" Ami yelled over Usagi's screams.
	"I SAID..." Wyrm began. Then looked at Usagi. "YOU CAN STOP CRYING NOW,
USAGI! WE'RE NOT BREAKING UP!"
	Usagi's crying stopped. "We-We aren't?" she sniffed.
	Wyrm shook his head. "No, we aren't."
	"We're not going to 'perish' either?"
	"No."
	Usagi let out a cry of joy and danced around. Wyrm sighed, "Why me?"
	"I ask myself that same question," the cat said.
	"Now, what was that you were saying?" Ami asked.
	Wyrm held up the useless demateriallization circuit. "This basically does
the equivelent of pulling in the anchor of an ocean-liner. With this
inoperative, the TARDIS can't budge an inch by itself."
	Ami shrugged. "Shouldn't you be able to repair it?"
	"It's not a question of repair; it's been sabotaged," Wyrm said grimly.
"And my own knowledge about time travel physics and dematerialization
theory and engineering has been blocked. I can recall the basic principles,
but the actual application is presently beyond my knowledge..."
	"Why?" the three asked.
	"It's part of my punishment; my exile..." he answered simply. "But that
can wait. First, I have to get you out of here and back home." He appraised
them. "Change into your Senshi outfits. You came in as Senshi; you go out
as Senshi." He nodded toward the regular thumping floating in through the
door. "Besides, I think your youma friend out there's still at it."
	"Right," the two girls said.
	"MOON PRISM POWER, MAKE UP!"
	"MERCURY POWER, MAKE UP!"
	Wyrm cuteously turned around. Their familiar transformation sequences ran
their courses, leaving them with Sailors Moon and Mercury.
	"We'll go out first," Mercury said. "You're no Senshi."
	Wyrm raised an eyebrow. "In view of our...argument earlier, you really
think I NEED protection?" He held up the umbrella. "And I didn't choose
this umbrella just for its ability to keep me dry."
	Sailor Moon looked at Sailor Mercury; Sailor Mercury looked back at Sailor
Moon. They both looked at Wyrm. "Okay. If you say so..."
	"Right. Let's go." He threw the lever that controled the entryway doors
and started towards them, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury close behind.

	Childras was still getting nowhere after an hour of banging on the door,
but he couldn't let his quarry get away. He drew back for another strike.
	Suddenly, the door opened and the spike of an umbrella stabbed out of the
opening, accompanied by a shout: "GEKIHOU!!" As it made contact with
Childras's carapace, a bright flash of light filled the air, and the youma
was rocketed backward, crashing into a nearby trunk.
	Tuxedo Mask blinked with surprise as a man dressed in what looked like a
mad cross between what was worn by Dick Tracy. The man held a blue umbrella
with the Zodiac on it in his right hand. A beige fedora hat covered his
features, but he could see a long blond ponytail in the back.
	"How do you like THEM apples, youma?" sneered the man...in a voice like
Jadeite's! Tuxedo Mask lept down in front of the man and saw that his face
was indeed Jadeite's.
	Tuxedo Mask extended his cane and said, "So, Jadeite! I see you have
returned for a rematch. Not only that, but you've taken those two Sailor
Senshi hostage, I see. What's the deal? I fight you or you don't release
Sailor Moon and Sailor Mercury?" Anger flashed in his eyes, and he made
sure Wyrm could see them.
	The Time Lord rolled his eyes. "Rassilon! Not another one!" Wyrm looked
coldy back at him. "Listen, Tux-Boy, I have no qualms with you, and
further-more, the two Senshi are my guests, not my prisoners." Sailors Moon
and Mercury emerged from the TARDIS, smiling and waving, much to Tuxedo
Mask's surprise and relief. "As you can see, they're just fine." Wyrm
looked over Tuxedo Mask's shoulder and then back at Tux himself. "Oh, and
another thing..." He kicked out Tuxedo Mask's feet, causing him to fall...
	"...Mind the youma," Wyrm finished.
	...just as Childras swiped a sharp pincer where Mask's neck would have
been if Wyrm hadn't felled him. The two Senshi screamed, "TUXEDO MASK!"
"*oof!*" Tux coughed as he hit the ground.
	Wyrm brought his umbrella up so that its point was directed toward the
youma. "RYUUGEKIKEN!!" Wyrm shouted, and the handle glowed brightly. The
tip suddenly flashed and vomited a huge boomarang-shaped blast of energy,
smashing point-blank into the youma's face and knocking it five yards back.
	"CLUBS!" Wyrm snapped his wrist and produced what looked like an ordinary
playing card. The Queen of Clubs, in fact. With a second flick, he sent it
flying at the youma. It flew straight and true, and made solid contact. It
crackled and the youma was corsucated with green arcs, and the youma froze.
	Wyrm turned to the Senshi and smiled. "Stun card. Finish him off, Moon!"
	"Right! MOON TIARA MAGIC!" said Senshi chanted and threw her now disklike
tiara at the youma, slicing clean through it. The creature dissolved into
dust.
	"YATTAZE!" Sailor Moon cheered. She then ran over to her hapless
protector. "Oh, Tuxedo Mask! Are you alright?" Sailor Moon bawled and
wrapped her arms around him.
	"I'm...okay, Sailor Moon..." Tuxedo Mask smiled sheepishly. He then
regaining his feet, even with a hyperactive, ditzy blonde fawning all over
him. "Uh...Thanks, Jadeite...I owe you my life..."
	"My name ain't Jadeite, Tux-Boy, and it never was..." Wyrm said with an
amused smile. "I am Wyrm."
	"Fine, Wyrm it is then. Farewell," Tuxedo Mask disappeared into the night.
	"Oh, Tuxedo Mask...Who are you?" Sailor Moon sighed.
	"I know who he is."
	"Really!?!" Moon gasped. "How?!"
	"I'm a Time Lord, remember? I can see through those flimsy disguses of
yours," Wyrm grinned. "Besides, I read his bio-extract."
	"Whoishewhoishewhoishe?!" Sailor Moon pleaded, jumping up and down.
	"*tsk,tsk* That would be telling. You aren't supposed to find out yet..."
Wyrm smiled mysteriously, much to Sailor Moon's disappointment. "But I can
tell you that he's always close at hand. Change back, you two. I need to
get you back home, don't I?"
	Usagi pulled an eyebrow as she watched Wyrm enter the not-booth. "Now how
are you supposed to do that? I thought you said your TARDIS is immobla...
immobol...ack, can't move."
	Wyrm poked his head out the TARDIS door. "I didn't say that the TARDIS is
my ONLY form of travel." He ducked back in.
	Sailor Moon shrugged and both she and Sailor Mercury banished their Senshi
suits and became plain old Usagi and Ami again.
	Just then, Sailor Mars came running in panting. "Whaddimiss?" she panted.
	"Everything," said Usagi.
	"Oh, poop!" Sailor Mars growled and turned back into Rei.
	After a few seconds, the space just left of the TARDIS shimmered and
suddenly, a 1987 Chrysler Voyager appeared out of nowhere. The three girls
jumped back. Wyrm stepped out of his TARDIS wearing the Backpack O' Doom.
"Ah! Glad you could make it, Rei," he piqued.
	"Jadeite!" Rei hissed. "MARS POW--!"
	"REI, STOP!" Usagi, Ami and Luna said together, and quite effectively
stopped Rei.
	"But..." Rei began.
	"This isn't Jadeite!" Usagi stated.
	"But..." Rei elaborated.
	"This is Wyrm, a Time Lord!" Ami pointed out.
	"But..." Rei added.
	"He looks like that because his species can regenerate, and the folks that
punished him to exile on Earth regenerated him in that body," Usagi
explained. "Now, don't attack him. After all, he saved both Tuxedo Mask's
life and my own." She blinked. "Did I just say that?"
	"But..." Rei pointed out. "Oh, very well. I guess if he saved Tuxedo
Mask's life, I should give him a chance."
	"Glad you guys see it my way," Wyrm sighed and pulled the TARDIS door shut.
	Rei grinned an impish grin. "However, if he saved yours, Usagi, I'll just
have to lecture him on wasted effort."
	Usagi grimaced. "REI!" she ground out.
	"Ohboy..." Wyrm sighed. Ami and Luna expressed similar sentiments. He
lifted his umbrella and shouted, "RYUUGEKIKEN!!" The thundering noise of
the ki-shot interrupted the two's argument as it passed between them. "I
thought you were supposed to be a TEAM!" he said.
	"Uh, well...That is...uh, you see...well, yeah..." they stammered.
	"Then why are you fighting?" Wyrm asked. "After all, it was Ji Tzu who
said that you are your own worst enemy." Rei and Usagi lowered their heads.
	"Actually, it was Napoleon," Ami corrected.
	Wyrm bigsweated. "So it's been a while since my Earth history class!" he
said tersely. The girls giggled. "The point is that you shouldn't fight
amonst yourselves." A megawatt smile returned to his face. "Well, enough of
Tactics 101." He gestured grandly toward the Voyager. "Girls, meet the
'Voyager-Deamon'!"

	"That's disgusting!" Usagi growled, after hearing the story of Wyrm's exile.
	"Ain't it, though?" Wyrm smiled wryly. "Time Lords pride themselves in
staying out of the affairs of other species," Wyrm said. "However, a few of
us, like the Doctor and the Celestial Intervention Agency, want to make the
universe a better place to live. Unfortunately, it breaks every law of
Gallifrey."
	"Wow! Is it really bigger on the inside than it is on the ouside?" Rei
asked wide-eyed with wonder.
	Luna and Ami nodded their heads together. "It's like an entire citadel in
there! It's great!"
	Wyrm continued his coversation with Usagi. "The Doctor was caught once,
and was exiled to Earth as punishment. However, he was eventually forgiven
after closing up a black hole. He's been roaming around and doing good ever
since.
	"Some Time Lords simply retire, like Professor Gravis, Drax and Ken-Po
Imposse, and leave Gallifrey altogether to spend their lives in relitive
peace. Ken-Po didn't need a TARDIS; he just projected himself across space.
Drax stole an old TARDIS and dismantled it on arrival, while Gravis stole
an antique and lived in it."
	"You should see the wardrobe they got!" said Luna. "He even got fashions
from the Moon Kingdom."
	"Even Guess and the Gap!" Ami grinned.
	"KYAA!" Rei squealed with glee. "I gotta visit there someday!"
	"I am a sort of protege of the Doctor's. He took me under his wing and
taught me all I know about science, engineering, and most importantly,
philosophy, universal morality, tinted by his particular viewpoint,
tactics, everything that would help me in my struggle for justice later."
	"And the kitchen...It's a restraunt! Food from matter replicators and
such. There must be a real kitchen there somewhere," Ami said.
	"Wow! Food!"
	"I was known as a 'busy beaver', as well as less flattering names, such as
'smart ass'. I built my own TARDIS, y'know...the very same TARDIS that's
sitting on top, so I wasn't stealing anything. I built it from the ground
up, and instead of having a wimpy link to the Eye of Harmony (known as a
Lesser Eye), I have my own Eye of Harmony powering this TARDIS, making it
the most powerful TARDIS ever made. Tim Taylor Syndrome, I guess.
	"I originally built my TARDIS as a hobby, but when the Doctor left after
we had defeated the Master, I got to thinking about what he said. I also
became listless because Gallifrey is not the planet of my birth. Earth is.
My father was an Earther, see. So I came to a decision; I would leave
Gallifrey and explore the universe. The High Council agreed, as they owed
me a favor for disposing of the Master, and let me go, in my own TARDIS, to
enjoy myself, as long as I didn't get involved."
	"But you did get involved..." Usagi stated.
	"Yep!" Wyrm smiled. "I was heading back to Earth when I came across a
Dalek invasion. I stopped it, and picked up a few companions as well. Then
it was just one crazy adventure after another.
	"Then they caught me...My companions were sent home without any memories
about their travels with me, and my trial began. It was a sham, of course;
I was found guilty in very short order. I had already regenerated once, and
like the Doctor, I faced another regeneration and exile to a certain point
on Earth. They had decided on a certain Dark General, retrieved him,
regenerated me in his form, and sent me here in a TARDIS that would not
move again once it arrived while I was still in regenerative shock."
	"And so here you are," Usagi piqued. "Marooned on Earth."
	Wyrm smiled sadly. "Yeah..."
	"Hey...Don't worry, Wyrm-san!" Usagi smiled, patting him on the back. "You
got friends here!"
	Wyrm brightened. "Yeah!"
	"And the botanicary..." Ami grinned. "It's like the mother of all
Biospheres! Plants, animals, fungi, all sorts of wierd and wonderous
wildlife and plantlife. It's all so beautiful!"

	The Voyager (DEMON-1) drove up to the Tsukino house, and the door opened
to let out a safe and sound Usagi. Half relieved and half upset, Tsukino
Kenji and his wife Ikuko snatched up Usagi and escorted her to the house.
	"Usagi-chan! Do you know what time it is?!" Kenji snapped. At her innocent
shaking head, he answered, "It's twelve-thirty, for cripe's sake! Do you
know how worried we were?! You're gr--!" He stopped at a clearing of the
throat behind him. He turned to find a handsome young man (or what appeared
to be one. He was six centuries old, after all), behind him.
	"Good evening. Tsukino-san, is it?" Wyrm asked.
	"Uh, yes?" Kenji said.
	"I think I can explain your daughter's tardiness," he began. "You see, she
was attacked by one of those monsters roming around these days."
	Kenji paled, as did Ikuko. Thier precious daughter attacked? "Sh-she's
alright, isn't she?" Kenji asked.
	Wyrm nodded. "Do not worry, Tsukino-san. Your daughter is perfectly
alright. The Sailor Senshi stopped the creep before much harm could be
done."
	Shingo popped out of nowhere. "WOW! THE SAILOR SENSHI!?!"
	"I thought I sent you to bed," Ikuko said.
	"I did! But when you mentioned the Sailor Senshi, I woke up. It's like radar."
	Wyrm laughed. "Maybe, but the whole mess scared her something awful. It
took a while to calm her down enough to let go of that pole. After that, I
drove her home." He smiled warmly at Usagi. "Don't worry, dear. You're safe
now."
	Taking the cue, Usagi played up the scared daughter bit. "Th-Thank you,
mister..." she stammered.
	"You're welcome," he returned. "Well, I gotta return some other
unfortunates to their homes now. Goodbye." He turned back to the Voyager.
	"Hey! Mister!" Kenji called. Wyrm turned. "What's your name?" he asked.
	Wyrm looked confused; he wasn't prepared for this. "Er...Dite!" He smiled.
"Professor Jason Dite."

					END ARRIVAL

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

EPILOGUE:

	"Wyrm-san?"
	"Yes, Ami?"
	"Why is this called the 'Voyager-Deamon'?"
	Wyrm bigsweated. "Well, that's a _very_ long story..." he said, "A long,
long time ago, in a country far, far away..."
	That earned him a light smack from Rei. "Not funny, Wyrm-san! Not funny at
all!"
	"Sorry," he shrugged. "I'll tell you girls that story when I'm sure I have
time to finish it, okay?"
	"Okay!" they both said (^_^).
	"Another thing, Wyrm-san. Why did you call yourself 'Jason Dite'?" Rei asked.
	Wyrm shrugged. "Hey! You named me! I might as well be consistant. Besides,
it isn't THAT bad a name, is it?"
	"Guess not..." Ami examined the interesting array of switches and dials
located throughout the cabin. On of them was a big red button that said
[START]. "Wyrm-san? What does this button do?" she asked, and was overcome
by an absolutely all-consuming desire to push it.
	Wyrm spared a glance at Ami, then went back to the road with a smile. Then
he had a Look of Fear (SB-Eric Idle: "What a strange, strange line!") on
his face as he turned sharply back.

	"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!"

	With a grinding mechanical racket, the Voyager-Deamon switched to
battlemode. It seemed to expand a little from the outside, revealing a
lethal-looking array of weaponry and ordinance. The inside expanded also,
the back wall flipping down to reveal a transdimentional bike bay.
	In the confusion to restore order, the Minivan-turned-Armored-Transport
launched a couple of SAMs from its hood, killing a sparrow, two eagles and
a duck with glasses...

THE END (FOR REAL!)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ENDING THEME:
"Wish"
Performed by Dark Generals

	A wish...
	That's all I ask for.
	A wish...
	There's nothing I want more...

	Just a wish...
	That I can call my own.
	Just a wish...
	That'll make me free to roam...

		(Change tempo)

	Trapped here; a stranger in paradise.
	I've nowhere to go; nowhere to hide.
	Though I love you tenderly, if I had a chance,
	I'd fly away from here without a second thought
	And leave you here in paradise.

	But I'm trapped here; I'm not gonna go,
	And while I'm here, I'll love you so.
	I'm trapped here; I'm not gonna go,
	I'll love you, and then I will fly
	And leave you in paradise.

	I dare to wish; I dare to dream.
	You'll never know what it means to me.
	Careful what you wish for,
	You just might get it.
	But I know exactly what I want--
	I know exactly what I want!

	Dare to wish! Dare to be!
	It might be answered; you'll just have to see.
	Dare to dream! Dare to long!
	Probably won't happen, but I have been wrong.

		(Sax solo)

	I dare to wish; I dare to dream.
	You'll never know what it is to me.
	Beware of your wish,
	You just might get it.
	But I know precisely what I want!

	Trapped here in paradise,
	We've certainly been through a lot.
	And I've grown to love you,
	Let there be no thought that I did not.
	But you must understand, please have no rage.
	This paradise is still a cage!

	I just want a wish so I will be free.
	You've no idea what freedom means to me.
	I wish I could wish myself out of this hole.
	It's a lovely hole, but I must be goin' home!

	Dare to wish! Dare to be!
	It might come true; it might set you free.
	Reach for your wish! Hold onto it tight!
	It might be answered, you know it might.

	Make a wish; see the star.
	Close your eyes before it falls too far.
	Make the wish with all your heart.
	It might not work, but it's a start.
	Find a well; drop the coin.
	Make a wish, it's the nature of our kind.

	I just want a wish so I will be free.
	You've no idea what it means to me.
	I wish I could wish myself out of this hole.
	I've made my wish, and I must be goin' home!

		(Guitar solo)
		(Speed tempo)

	(Make a wish!) Blow out the candles.
	(Make a wish!) Jump into the brambles.
	(Make a wish!) See the star.
	(Make a wish!) Before it falls too far.
	(Make a wish!) Break the wishbone.
	(Make a wish!) For me to go home.

	MAKE A WISH!

Producer, Writer, Lead Vocalist, Lead Guitar: Wyrm (James Hetfield) *
Second Vocals, Rhythm Guitar: Hino Rei (Patti Russo) * Saxophone: Nephlite
(Sting) * Base Guitar: Kino Makoto (Ellen Folley) * Synthesizer, Lead
Keyboard: Mizuno Ami (Amy Mann) * Keyboard, Percussion: Aino Minako (Jewel)
* Piano: Osaka Naru (Debbie Harry) * Drums, Percussion: Tsukino Usagi
(Alanna Myles) * Background Vocals: Kino Makoto, Mizuno Ami, Aino Minako,
Osaka Naru, Tsukino Usagi, Luna (Nancy Sinatra), Artimus (Tom Petty), K-9
(John Leeson)