Genma-panda wrote:

(saotome@micron.net)

                                ,-----------,
                                | Ranma 1/2 |
                                |   "Koi"   |
                                `-----------'
                        Episode 1: "Jealousy and Love"


        Akane stood, open mouthed and ready to faint. "You want Ranma as your
fiancee? I thought all you needed him for was pictures, and he can't be a
guy for that."

I assume this is before the Ranma and Nabiki episode.

        "Nabiki! He's... he's... he's my Ranma." Akane put her head in her
hands and cried. "Don't take him from me!"

        Nabiki smiled her confident smile. Akane had fell for it. 'Now to
make sure that Ranma doesn't botch this up when he wakes up,' she thought.
"Don't worry Sis. I wouldn't want him for my fiancee if my life depended on
it. Besides, he already loves you."

        Akane froze, "He what?"

        "He loves you. It's obvious, Sis. The way he looks at you, the way he
protects you, won't let anyone take you from him. He's always there when you
need him and he always come to your rescue. Ever wonder why he becomes almost
insanely jealous when another guy tries to win you over?"

        Unconciously, Ranma sneezed drawing Akane's attention to him.

Correct me if someone has done it, I could never sneezed in my sleep.

        Akane remembered all of the times Ranma had come to her rescue. He
had saved her whenever she had been kidnapped. When Kirin had taken her as
his fiancee Ranma had come to stop him. When Toma had kidnapped her and asked
her to be his bride Ranma had come to her rescue and had even given up a cure
when they had fallen toward the spring of Togenkyo. He had blown it up... to
save her. The tears began to flow again, tears not of sadness but of a new
realization and of happiness. She knew he had to love her. There was no other
explanation. She remembered how he had been when he thought that she and the
forgetful boy, Shinnosuke, had been in love, he had almost confessed how he
felt.

        Akane bowled Nabiki over with a hug, crying into her shoulder. "I'm
sorry! Thank you so much, Nabiki. You're right! I never put it all together,
but you're right!" Nabiki smiled at her and walked out of the room, closing
the door behind her. Those two had a lot to talk about. Besides, she had to
wait for Ranma to regain conciousness to give him his bill. She grinned,
wondering what his face would look like when she handed it to him.

Anyway, the grammar and spelling is a okay.  I think you could have
stretch the little 'ephiphany' of Akane or you could have let Nabiki
have Ranma for a while in order to let Akane and Ranma realized that
they love each other instead of the author's intervention.