<Open on the SOL.>

MIKE:  Hi, everyone, welcome to the Satellite of Love.  Tom and Crow
       are having another argument about which is better: script or prose.
TOM:  Face it, Crow, script is just a cheap way to avoid looking into
      the character's head.  It's dull, soulless, and boring.  Sure, if 
      you're writing a series of boring martial arts fights, then script
      would be OK.  But if you want a *real* fanfic...
CROW:  And I suppose prose is *soooo* much classier.  I love to see three
       pages of exposition of the sun rising in the morning!  Prose format
       is slow and methodical, and much more inclined to soppy, romantic
       "art".
TOM:  And how would you know, pin-beak?
CROW:  Well, let's take a look at my recent fanfic, "Priss vs. Soup"...

<the light starts blinking>

MIKE:  Uh, guys, sorry to interrupt the witty repartee, but Dr. F is 
       calling...

<Deep 13>

DR. F:  Ah, hello, A-ko.  Today is Christmas, so I thought I'd give you a
        treat.

<SOL>

TOM:  Great, let me guess:  "Santa Claus" with Dudley Moore?
CROW:  Wayne Rogers in "It Happened One Christmas"?

<Deep 13>

DR. F:  You wound me.  No, a genuine treat.  I know you 'bots like anime...

<SOL>

CROW:  Oh, god, he's sending us Sailor Moon...
TOM:  Not, Chibi-usa, please...
MIKE:  Hey, I love Sailor Moon.  Is Lita your favorite?
CROW & TOM:  MAKOTO!!!
MIKE:  Sorry, geez...

<Deep 13>

DR. F:  Do you mind?  Anyway, I'm sending you "Urusei Yatsura"...

<SOL.  Partying effects.>

TOM:  YESSS!!  "Ammari sowasowa shinaide..."
CROW:  Do I get to see Lum topless?

<Deep 13>

DR. F: <grinning> ...the dubbed version.

<SOL.  The 'bots stare in horror.>

TOM:  You're evil!  Do you hear me, EVIIIIILLL!
MIKE:  What do you guys have against dubs, anyway?
CROW:  Not all dubs, Mike, just *this* one.
TOM:  Lum as Zsa Zsa... <shudder>

<Suddenly, the SOL is rocked by a huge explosion to port.>

'BOTS:  AAAAAHHH!
MIKE:  What the - !  Cambot, give me Rocket No. 9!

<Cut to external, where we see THE LOVELY ANGEL has managed to embed
itself halfway through the SOL, a la the Hecate in "Nightmare of Eden.">

<Inside, the theatre doors open, and out step KEI and YURI.  Kei is played
by Bridget Jones, and looks pretty much as you'd expect.  Yuri is played
by Mary Jo Pehl, and...doesn't.>

KEI:  Good one, Yuri.
YURI:  Oh, shut up!
'BOTS:  Nuveena!
KEI: <noting their stares> What?
CROW:  Sorry, thought we recognized you.
TOM:  Hey, I do recognize you!  You're the Dirty Pair!

<Crow and Mike duck, just as Tom is totally wasted by Kei and Yuri's
laser pistols>

KEI & YURI:  <to the smoking remains of Servo> LOVELY ANGELS!!!

MIKE:  <getting back up>  Um, hi, welcome to the Satellite of Love.  I'm
       Mike Nelson, and this is Crow, and those are the smoking remains 
       of Tom Servo.
KEI:  Kei Morgan.
YURI:  Yuri Daniels.
CROW:  Oh, so you're the Undocumented Features versions!
MIKE:  What?
CROW:  Remind me to show you my collection of fanfics, Mike...

<Deep 13>

DR. F:  Excuse me, I don't mean to ruin the mood, but WOULD YOU GET INTO
        THE THEATRE!!

<SOL>

MIKE:  Um...it looks like you might have to watch the experiment with us.
KEI:  <to Yuri>  Can Mughi handle repairs?
YURI:  Mughi's on vacation, remember?  All we've got is this new guy.
       <into wreckage>  Hey, you!  Can you fix this?

<Peeking out from the doors, we recognise the Kitten With The Whip (as
played by Kevin Murphy>

KwtW:  <hork, hack>  Sorry, hairball.  Yeah, I think I can fix something 
       up. Got any catnip?
YURI:  Check the hold.
CROW:  How's Tom?
MIKE:  Think he's just about fixed up.

<Lights, buzzers, etc.>

MIKE & CROW:  We've got Movie Sign!!!
KEI & YURI:  Huh?

<They are grabbed as Cambot flies through the wreckage towards the doors.>

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