Subject: [FFML] "Gratuitous Self - PART 1'
From: TimeRunner
Date: 12/22/1996, 1:55 AM
To: Fanfic Mailing list
Reply-to:
runner@eiger.com.ph

Gratuitous Self
PART 1:

---

	Takezo sat in front of his PC, eager to write down a ton of ideas
coming from his so-called and self-proclaimed creative mind. 
	Actually, what happened was this; Takezo, a relative newbie at anime,
watched several episodes of Ranma and wondered what it would be like to
be a part of that reality.
	Mistaking these random daydreams for an original idea, he set about
writing a story where he would be the silent yet powerful type lurking
around among the unnoticed students of Furinkan High.

---


An excerpt from 'Turning Road' by Musashi  Takezo

	...I'm too late to save her, thought Ranma frantically as he dove to
catch Nabiki from falling from the school balcony. She had been caught
in the crossfire of a deadly duel between Ranma and Ryoga, and was
accidentally  pushed off the balcony.
"NOOO!!! Somebody catch her!!!"

	Suddenly,  from the crowd watching below, a shadowy figure, almost a
blur, leapt up and caught the falling Nabiki.
	Their eyes met.
	Nabiki's breath caught in her throat. Who was this knight in shining
armor that came to save her? "Who...?"
	"Shhh," the figure replied. He gently set her down on the ground.
	He didn't look all that different from the average male Japanese high
school student. He was in the usual school uniform, and didn't look all
that dashingly handsome...except...except that he exuded a quiet sort of
power that one wouldn't notice at first glance.
	"Um...", started Nabiki.
	"Yes? What is it?"
	"May I know your name?"
	"It's Takezo. Musashi Takezo."
	Nabiki could only look in awe as the mysterious and powerful Takezo
leaped into the air and disappeared in a blur...

---

	"It's perfect!", exclaimed Takezo as he finished writing. He
immediately sent it off to all of his friends, and also on the fanfic
mailing list, eager to share his daydream with the rest of the otaku
world.

	His friends, being the friends that they were, simply said that the
fanfic was 'a good start' and that he should keep at it, although they
began to talk about his delusions behind his back.
	The fanfic mailing list, however, was not as kind.

	"Nabiki is out of character! Ranma is out of character! Ryoga is out of
character! The whole damn fanfic is out of character!"
	"Except Kuno. He's still an idiot. How convenient for Takezo, eh?"
	"Drivel. 'Nuff said."
	"The word 'feh' comes to mind...and feh isn't even a word!"
	"If I had a dime for every fanfic like this ever posted on this mailing
list....."
	
	Takezo was crushed. How could his masterpiece come under so much
criticism from the mailing list? His friends said they liked his fanfic,
so at first he couldn't understand why everyone on the list hated it.
Then he thought of how people don't appreciate writing 'before its
time'. Then he thought everyone was just jealous because he and Nabiki
hit it off so well.
	
	Finally, a kind (relativistically speaking, of course) soul on the list
told him bluntly what he had to do.
	"Something has to set it apart from all the other fanfics."
	Okay. Fine then.

---

	...Nabiki stared in shock.
	Takezo was gone.
	In his place was a cold, dripping wet, and miserable talking car.
	"Now you know my secret," the car said. "You know my deepest darkest
secret. That I really am.....KITT."

---

	"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!", said the now irritated relatively kind
soul.
	"So what did you mean?"
	"I meant that the whole damn thing's too self-glorifying!"
	"Really? In what way?"
	"Argh..."

	After one hundred and twenty-six clues, Takezo finally got what the
relatively kind soul meant. 

---

	Nabiki  sneered at the pathetic wimp before her. "What a total loser
you are. You can't fight, you're not cute, you take me out to this cheap
pizza place, and now you don't bring any money to pay for the tab?! What
did you expect, that I'D pay for it?"
	"Yes, my queen, you are right, I am but a sniveling fool under the sole
of your lovely shoe..."
	"You're damn right I'm right! If I DO pay for you, will you become my
personal slave?"
	"Yes, mistress, anything you say...."

---

	"Hmm," thought the relatively kind soul. "That's an interesting spin on
the story."
	"But I don't feel right about writing this way. I mean, this is myself
I'm making a fool out of."
	"If it works...."
	"No! I won't have it!"
	"Calm down, Takezo. She doesn't have to treat you like dirt, you know.
Just don't glorify yourself too much."
	"But...But I need a hook for the story, like you said."
	"You'll think of something."

---

	Takezo and Nabiki were walking to school together when Nabiki noticed
something in the sky, and, like she always did, deftly avoided potential
trouble without telling the people around her. Consequently, Takezo
never saw what hit him.

	Takezo climbed out of the tangled mess of cords and fabric, as did
another person. Takezo pointed his finger at the newcomer and said,
"Just who the hell are you, anyway?!"
	The newcomer simply smiled, combed his hair, dusted himself off and
said, "My name...
	"...is Shutaro Mendou."

---


	"What do you mean, I have to change it?! What is it this time?!"
	The relatively kind soul replied, "Oh, it's a bit better, this time,
except..."
	"Except what?!"
	"Except Timerunner's already doing the 'Mendou comes to Furinkan' bit."


	(At this point, the writer of this story about an writer writing the
story is growing tired of typing 'relatively kind soul' over and over
again, so, for the purpose of KISS [Keeping it simple, stupid], the
story will now refer to the 'relatively kind soul' as Bob.)


	Finally, Bob (creative name, huh) and Takezo decided on a fairly simple
premise for the story, one that would not overly glorify the main
character (who, by some strage coincidence, was also named Takezo) and
would not have people act out of character ("NABIKI DOES NOT FAWN OVER
ANYONE!!!). Bob's advice was...
	True, the story was not going to please everybody, but hey, that's the
number one rule when it comes to writing fanfics (or any story, for that
matter).
	You can never please everybody.

---
[Final Version of 'Turning Road]

	"No way!"
	In Furinkan High's study hall, a discussion of sorts between two
friends was taking place.
	"Yes way. Nabiki Tendo's conned yet another hapless infatuated young
fool."
	"No way!"
	"I kid you not, Takezo. She did the old 'date 'em and bleed 'em' again.
It was poor Masanori this time. He'll be up to his elbows in dishwater
for the rest of his life."
	"No way!"
	"Hellooooo! Is there an echo in this room?"

---
	Either that, Bob thought as he read this part, or the writer's gotten
into a rut.
---

	"But...Takeshi..."
	"Look, Takezo, buddy. I'm just warning you. I don't appreciate you
calling me a liar."
	"I'm not saying that you're lying, Takeshi, it's just that you might
simply be mistaken about..."
	"...About that conniving bitch? I don't think so, Takezo."
	"You take that back!"
	"What? You mean my calling her a 'bitch'? Why?"
	"I said take it back!", shouted Takezo as he swung at Takeshi.
	"Whoa whoa whoa! Take it easy! Don't tell me you have a thing for that
b...that girl!"
	"So what if I do, huh?!"

	By this time, everybody in the room were listening in on the
conversation, although they tried their best not to show it.
	"Akane, they're talking about your sister."
	"It figures. She went on another date last night."
	"Probably bled the guy for all he was worth, and then some."
	Honestly, thought Akane. 	I wish for once Nabiki would be more discreet
about her extortion rackets. True, we'd all be starving at the dojo if
it weren't for her, Dad having no stable income and all, but...

	"Captain Kuno, I think they're talking about Nabiki Tendo again.

---
	Takezo checked his e-mail for C&C, and slapped his forehead when he
read one reply asking why someone was calling Kuno 'Captain'. "Excuse
me," he said, although no one else was around at the time, "does ANYBODY
pay attention to details anymore? Captain of the Kendo Club. He-loooo!
Anyone home in there?"
---

	"And what sort of misdeed has that cursed woman done on this occasion?"
	"Um, she went on another date, Captain."
	"Oh, the poor fool. I can sympathize with him. The Kuno family would
probably be twice as rich as it is right now if it wasn't for that
wench. By the way..."
	"Yes, Captain?"
	"...What about the treasurer for our club?"
	"Masanori, sir? He's the one Miss Tendo dated last night. He....kind of
embezzled our club funds to pay for some of his debts."
	"NOOOOOO! NOT AGAIN!"

	"Hey Ranma! Your fiancee's sister claimed another victim last night."
	"Do I look like I care?"

---
	Bob met Takezo on RanmaMUCK to give him some advice.
	"Whether or not the protagonist ends up with whomever is immaterial to
the story, really."
	"WHAT?! Then what's the point of the story?!"
	"The point of the story is...the reader's interest must be maintained.
One way to do that is this...the reader has to identify with the
characters. For example, if you're so hell-bent on making your character
hit on Nabiki..."
	"Well, excuse me."
	"...The reader should have a reason for rooting for him. Otherwise, you
fall into the trap of writing just another self-gratifying fanfic that
didn't entertain anyone but the writer."
	"Come to think of it," Takezo said, "Most of them are like that.
Probably just written so that the writer could vent off on someone other
that himself. I admit, I started this thing probably to do just that.
But now that I think about it, you're right. The story is what's
important."
---

	Takeshi rubbed the side of his jaw where Takezo slugged him for calling
Nabiki something that will not be mentioned here.
	"FINE! If you don't believe me," Takeshi told Takezo, "give her that
damn letter you keep chickening out on giving her. Then you'll see her
true colors."
	"FINE!", retorted Takezo. "I'll go and do that! I'll prove you wrong!
You'll see."

	Nabiki opened her footlocker and found an envelope in it, sealed with a
Gyopi sticker.

---
	"Are you sure they'll get this reference?", asked Takezo.
	"No," replied Bob. "But those who do will crack a smile for sure.
That's the whole point of putting obscure references. Not everyone will
get the joke, but you'll get a laugh out of those who do."
---

	Nabiki opened the envelope and read the letter inside. She smiled to
herself mischievously.
	"And here I thought I could only pull this sort of racket off once a
week, to let the rumor mill slow down before the next letter. It's
pretty unusual to get another date offer so soon. Heh. Never thought I'd
be making two killings this week. Nice letter though..."

	Nabiki Tendo, age 17, has no girl's heart.


	"I got your letter," said Nabiki to Takezo. "I'm so happy to know you
like me too..."
	"You...you mean you'll go out with me?"
	"Sure!"
	"Yatta! I'll pick you up tomorrow at one, then!"
	As Takezo waved and happily walked out of the school courtyard, Nabiki
felt a split-second pang of guilt and regret, the same one she always
got whenever she fooled a guy this way, the same one she always shrugged
off a moment later, the same one she totally forgot about when the date
got under way.
	Still....

---
	"Hold it. What's this about a pang of guilt?"
	"Well, I thought I'd make Nabiki less evil..."
	"You realize you will be accused of portraying Nabiki out of
character?"
	"On what grounds? We NEVER see Ranma 1/2 through her point of view, so
who the hell besides Takahashi herself has the right to tell me which
thoughts are IC for Nabiki and which ones are OOC?"
	"You have a point...but..."
	"But like you said," interrupted Takezo, "you can't please everybody."

WATCH FOR  PART 2: Takezo attempts to write about the date! Will he be
able to write about it and look himself in the mirror every morning?
Will the fanfic mailing list regulars praise or persecute him for his
writing? Will Bob get a name change?


-***-

	And so, the first part of the fanfic I've always wanted to write is
done. No, silly, not 'Turning Road'. I originally planned it to be a
satire on the state of some fanfics being posted on the list, but then,
I found myself empathizing with the characters. Great. And I've never
written a GSIF (Gratuitious Self-Insertion fanfic) in my life! Unless,
if you count this one, until now.

	Writing this story, I suddenly realized that GSIF's are simply idle
daydreams and fantasies put to paper (or phosphor). While we may
criticize some of them for being pretty banal (I sure as heck do), we
all think about being in an anime universe sometimes. No, admit it. We
do. Whether it's being a martial artist in mortal combat with Ranma, or
dialling the Goddess Relief Office by mistake, or defending the world
from the Aragami, or simply hitting on that anime character we find so
cute or kind or noble, we have daydreamt. It's just that some people
simply translate their ideas into writing better than others. 
	So, I intend to continue this story until Takezo finishes his. Some
people will disagree with his portrayal of the Ranma cast. That's fine.
I intend it to be that way. Some people will disagree on my view about
the whole GSIF issue. That's fine, too. It's to be expected. After
all...

	...You can't please everybody.


	Oh, yeah...Just a small scorecard. 

	Anyone who got the 'one hundred and twenty-six' clues' reference gets 5
style points.
	Anyone who got the 'Takezo Musashi' reference gets 10 style points. No,
wait, make that 20. It's a pretty tough reference.
	Anyone who got the reason why my fanfic about Mendou in Furinkan High
was called 'Trouble in Furinkan High' gets 5 points. Come on! The
answers in the name! (BIG GLARING HINT)
	Anyone who got the "Timerunner's already doing the 'Mendou comes to
Furinkan bit'" gets no points. Yep. Come on! That's me! I wrote that!
You don;'t expect to get credit for something I told you!
	Anyone who got the 'Gyopi' reference not only gets 50 points, but also
my respect. Unless you're the Scriviner, in that case, no fair, I told
you about it already.
	Anyone who got the 'KITT' reference, subtract 10 points and go jump in
the ocean at riptide so David Hasselhoff can save you. Joudan, joudan.
	Anyone who thinks I just made a Michael Jordan reference can go swallow
a basketball.

	And if you think you know who I am on RanmaMUCK, tell me, because I
sometimes wonder if I write in the same style as I muck.


	Well, until PART 2 then.

	TimeRunner, December 22, 1996.