What has gone before: In a continuity with only two Tendou sisters, Kunou
announced that anyone who wanted to date onna-Ranma had to defeat her, or
answer to him.  Ranma, looking for trouble, instead found the Gambling King
and decided to see if his old friend Ukyou was in danger.  Ukyou was fine,
but turned out to be female and engaged to Ranma.  Still in male disguise, she
defeated Kunou, and was accepted by Furinkan as onna-Ranma's fiancee.

                                    TENDOU 2/3
                                 by Ken Arromdee
                    Chapter 4: Losing your Way is a Way to Lose

    A lost boy, whose tale won't be described here because all of you readers
know the story already, finally made it to Furinkan.  He had travelled all
over in search of Ranma...  even made it to China, where that panda and that
girl had knocked him into a cursed pool.  And he was nearly eaten!  He grabbed
a passing schoolboy.  "Where is Furinkan High School?"
    The boy silently pointed to a sign not more than a foot away.  Ryouga read
it to himself.  "Fu...  rin...  kan...  High School."
    Success!, thought Ryouga.  He finally found Ranma Saotome after all this
time, and he would _pay_....
    "Where is Ranma Saotome?", asked Ryouga.  The boy replied that Ranma had
gone home to settle some overdue matter with Mr. Saotome and Mr. Tendo.
    "I just missed him?  Well, I'm gonna track him down!  Thanks!"
    Ryouga put the kid down and went to look for Ranma.  After about seven
blocks, he realized he had not asked for Ranma's address.  "Better find a
police station and try to get his address."  He checked a nearby posted train
map.  "Hmm, that train goes to a police station", thought Ryouga, completely
missing the fact that the police station it went to was in Kyoto.

    Ready to end the overdue matter and not realizing that going home to do
so had caused him to miss Ryouga, Ranma, now male, entered the house followed
by Ukyou.  "I'm home..."
    Kasumi called for Genma and her father as Ranma and Ukyou removed their
shoes.  "Dad?  Mr. Saotome?  Ranma has an announcement to make."  Ranma smiled
at Kasumi.
    When they both came in--nobody _ever_ refuses a summons by Kasumi--Ranma
started.  "Dad, Mr. Tendou, I'd like you to meet my fiancee, Ukyou Kuonji.
You see, I couldn't possibly be engaged to someone I only knew for a week,
especially when I'm already engaged...."
    Ukyou looked deliriously happy.
    Ranma thought "She's really taking it that seriously?"  Ranma really didn't
know how he felt about Ukyou just now, and had used the engagement to solve
his problem, as per Kasumi's suggestion, only because since they already were
engaged, announcing it really didn't change anything.  But Ukyou acted like
Ranma had actually decided to be engaged to her right then and there.
    Soun Tendou looked deliriously mad.  His target, of course, was Ranma,
Genma being an old friend whom he could never get mad at.  "Waaaaaaaah!  How
could you do this to your father and me, Ranma!"  Genma added "Ranma, I'm
so disappointed in you!  How could you bring up an old matter like this when
you're ready to get engaged!"
    Soun continued.  "See?  That earlier engagement doesn't count."  Genma
corrected Soun.  "Actually, Tendou-kun, it does count.  But it looks like
Ranma really hates us to do this to me and you...."
    Ukyou bowed to everyone.  "Nice to meet you, Kasumi, Mr. Tendou, Mr.
Saotome.  And sumimasen for the trouble."  She giggled.

    Kasumi interrupted Genma and Soun's attempt to brainstorm solutions to
the "problem" by announcing that dinner was served.  "And I'm sure Dad and Mr.
Saotome would not mind you sharing our table, Ukyou-san."  In fact, they did
not seem happy at the prospect of Genma's son and his fiancee eating a meal
together, but if they made a scene, Kasumi would simply refuse to cook as
personal penance for the bad behavior of the men in the house.  Kasumi had
great faith in the power of moral suasion, since somehow after she did that
they would always apologize.
    Nabiki asked, over a mouthful of rice, "So I hear you pretend to be a boy?
Well, you're the perfect choice for Ranma.  Ranma's half female.  And you both
know martial arts, too!"
    Genma disagreed.  "In other words, Nabiki, Ukyou's a violent tomboy.  I
would _never_ engage Ranma to such a person."  He muttered "if I had known
what I was doing" at the end of the sentence.
    "Old man", replied Ranma, "I'm glad I'm with Ucchan now, but you'd engage
me to anyone if you could get something out of it.  Even with the dojo you're
more worried about you and Mr. Tendo than about me."
    "Ranma!", shouted his father, "you must learn that that everything that I,
your father do, is for your own good!  You, the heir to the Saotome
Unrestricted Martial Arts, must marry one of Tendou-kun's daughters and take
over the Tendou Dojo...."
    "Does that mean you get to name it the Saotome Dojo?  Or do I have to
change my name and we get to be masters of the Tendou Unrestricted Martial
Arts? Huh?"  Ranma threw a glass of water on Genma, transforming him.  "Speak
up, old man, I can't hear you!"  Genma grunted.

    Ukyou stood up.  "That was an excellent meal, Kasumi-san."  Kasumi smiled.
Ukyou continued.  "I hope I can live up to your standards as a future wife of
Ranchan."  Kasumi smiled.  Ranma collapsed.  "Ucchan..."
    "Hai?"
    "I really don't know if..."
    Genma growled loudly as he found Kasumi's teapot, and doused himself.
"Ranma!  I beg of you to find some way around this engagement!  Marry Kasumi!
She can cook.  And Nabiki would manage the dojo quite well, I'm sure.  And you
could help teach martial arts to whichever of the Tendou-kun's daughters you
pick...."
    "Dad.  Ucchan cooks great.  I've eaten her cooking.  And I bet that if
she ran her own business she'd do quite well and get lots of customers.  How
many customers do you get at the dojo?  And she already knows martial arts!
Now stop trying to denigrate my fiancee!"  Ranma suddenly smiled at Ucchan and
hugged her.

    They walked out, Ranma letting Ukyou go as soon as they were away from
Ranma's father, though Ukyou was rather reluctant to be let go.
    Ukyou paused and asked Ranma "Ranchan, what were you about to say before?"
    She'll feel really bad if I say that, thought Ranma.  "Uhh...  it was
nothing."  Ukyou hugged Ranma and left.

    Next school day, Ranma contemplated coming to school as a guy, just _once_.
But then he'd have to explain that the guy who he was engaged to was really a
girl, and he felt a little responsible for Ukyou's secret, since it was due
to him that she decided to stay that way.  Give her a chance to get over it
first.
    Another girl, who introduced herself as Sayuri, asked Ranma after school
what kind of guys she liked.  Ranma, not really able to do good girl-talk,
could only reply "Eh heh heh...".  Sayuri added "And you should be so glad
you're engaged to Ukyou...  he's dreamy...  and he beat Kunou!  Nobody, guy
or girl, likes him except for his underlings in the Kendo Club, but nobody
has ever been able to beat him until Ukyou came along...."
    "Oh, there he comes!" said Sayuri.  "Maybe he'll ask you out on a date
today!"  Ranma waved at Ukyou.  It was amazing what Ucchan could do by moving
her bow and flattening her chest, and speaking in the right tone of voice.
"Hi, Ranchan!  Coming with me?"
    Sayuri pushed Ranma towards Ukyou and ran off. "Have fun!  Tell us what
your date was like, okay?  All the girls would love to hear how good a kisser
Ukyou is..." as she left.

    "Uh, Ucchan..."
    "Yes, Ranchan?"
    "Uh, you're not going to..."
    "We're going to go find the Gambling King.  What did you think this was
about?  By the way, are you okay, Ranchan?  You're turning red."
    "Never mind.  Let's go!"

    Martial artists lived in a special martial world of their own.  On almost
every city block in an area like Nerima, was a seemingly ordinary person who
no passerby would realize could break concrete with their bare hands and bound
over tall buildings in a single leap.  The Gambling King wasn't quite a
martial artist, but he did have this way of utterly defeating people with
large dice.  Maybe one of the martial arts underground would know where to
find him.

    Ranma chose an ordinary-looking building, and led himself and Ukyou in.
"Hello, is Dr. Toufuu in?"
    Dr. Toufuu popped up behind Ranma.  "Hey, Toufuu-sensei, don't do that!"
"Just kidding.  So what's your problem?  Someone sick?"
    "No, nobody's sick.  We're looking for this person named the Gambling
King.  He's usually dressed up as a giant playing card.  He has some contracts
that me and Ucchan signed when we were kids, and we want to get them away from
him.  We thought we'd ask some of the local martial artists to see if
anyone's heard anything about this guy."
    "Hmm", said Dr. Toufuu.  "I have a friend who's also into pressure points
who heard of someone like that, who throws cards and he uses strange traps.
Let me call him."
    Just then, Kasumi walked in.  Dr. Toufuu's eyes immediately clouded over.
"Hi, Kasumi!  Betty-chan, would you please call my friend for me?"  Kasumi
politely pointed out "I don't think your skeleton can really do that.  By
the way, I brought you some cake."
    Dr. Toufuu unwrapped the cake and began trying to cut it with a surgical
scalpel.  Kasumi gently suggested a fork and knife.
    Ucchan smiled.  "Boy, Ranchan, he really goes googly-eyed over her."
    "Yeah...  I'm afraid he'll be useless until Kasumi goes home, and they're
going to be having tea and cake for a while yet."
    "Ranchan?"
    "Hai...?"
    "Kasumi likes Dr. Toufuu, right?"
    "Hai."
    "And he's a martial artist, right?"
    "Hai."
    "And a martial artist has to marry one of Mr. Tendou's daughters and
run the dojo, right?  We should help get them together.  Then we get rid of
Nabiki too, and everything will be clear for us...."  Ranma was speechless.

    Ranma, still female, and Ukyou, still crossdressed, went to a ramen shop
to pass a little time.  In the midst of their meal, a miasma of depression
began to fill the air as a newcomer arrived.  This newcomer was wearing a
yellow and black bandana, carrying an umbrella and a backpack, and of course
when he spotted Ranma he charged straight for her.  "You!  I knew I'd find you
once I got back to China.  You and your pet panda caused me untold misery!
I am going to find Saotome Ranma, whose absence from our battle led me here to
begin with, but you're going to feel my wrath first!"
    "Who are you?" asked Ranma.  "Oh, wait, I remember you.  It was an
accident, no hard feelings, okay?  And you know, this isn't China.  Wait,
did you say Saotome Ranma?"
    "You know him, Ranchan?" asked Ukyou.
    "I knew him in grade school.  We used to fight over lunch all the time!
I always managed to get the last piece of curry pan or katsu sandwich or
whatever.  It really helped me practice my fighting skills.  His name is Ryouga
Hibiki.  Uhh, long time no see."
    Ryouga stopped.  "You're working together with Ranma Saotome?"
    "That's enough.  I AM RANMA SAOTOME."
    "Funny, you don't look like Ranma Saotome.  He may be a coward who ran
out on a fight, but he's still a man."
    "Who ran out on a fight?  I waited three days for you!"
    "How do you know?"
    "Because I told you.  I'm Ranma Saotome."  Ranma grabbed a pot of hot
water (meant for tea) and poured it over himself.  Ryouga watched the
transformation and turned livid.  "You...  you...  not only do you make me
chase after you for thousands of miles, but it was you who kicked me in!"
    Ukyou suddenly thought of something.  If she was right, maybe she could
get Ryouga to leave... "Really?  Ranchan kicked you in?  In what?"
    "In...  in..."
    Ukyou continued.  "In what, Ryouga?"
    "Uh, nothing."
    "Well, if it's nothing, you can hardly blame Ranchan for anything, can
you?"
    "He...  he still ran out on a fight."  Ryouga speared his umbrella at
Ranma, who dodged.  The umbrella left a large hole in the wall of the ramen
shop.  Ranma jumped on top of Ryouga's shoulders and threw him down towards
the floor.  Ryouga quickly dug himself out, and began throwing bandanas, a
seemingly endless supply.
    Well, so much for that idea, thought Ukyou.  She stood up while grabbing
a handful of small spatulas, and carefully aimed them at the incoming
bandanas.  Object met object and fell to the ground or got deflected away.
    Ryouga threw his umbrella in a circle.  It would have hit Ranma in the
back, but Ukyou grabbed it as it flew past.  Wow, was this heavy, she thought.
Like her spatula...  must be made of solid metal, not bamboo as it seemed.
Ranma and Ryouga traded punches, and Ranma knocked Ryouga through the wall
with the help of Ukyou, who hit him with his own umbrella.  Ryouga crashed
through the bricks and concrete... and into the water pipes.  Water sprayed
over everyone.
    "Hey, what did you have to help me for, Ucchan?  This is a man-to-man
fight; I could defeat him on my own!"
    In reply, Ukyou poked the now-female Ranma's breasts.

    Ryouga was nowhere to be seen, just a pile of wet clothes.  Ranma poked at
them and a small black pig jumped out and bit him on the nose.  The pig was
wearing a very familiar yellow-and-black bandanna.  Ranma was shocked.
    "Ryouga...  so that was what happened to you at Jyusenkyou...."
    Ukyou spoke up.  "Ooh, he's cute."  Ranma frowned.  Ukyou continued.
"Ryouga, this must be a really embarassing situation for you.  I promise to
keep your secret...  and I'm sure Ranchan will too.  Martial artists' honor."
>From what Ukyou knew about Ranma, he did have a code of sorts, and she just
_knew_ he'd agree even if Ryouga was an enemy.
    The pig glared at Ranma.  Ranma slowly nodded.  "H...  hai, Ucchan.  I
promise."

    Ranma picked up the pig, which kept biting her.  "I'm going to get you
some hot water.  But if you don't _want_ to...."  Ryouga quieted down.  Just
as Ranma drew her fist back in order to knock around Ryouga once he had
turned back to human, a girl who had just entered the shop grabbed the piglet
instead.  She was young-looking, and had brown hair and a slightly shallow
expression on her face.  "Ooooh.  It's so cute...  Charlotte, Charlotte!"
Ranma violently grabbed several times at thin air, but the girl held the
piglet just out of her reach.
    A handsome teenage boy took the piglet from her.  "Azusa, you didn't see
that first."  He asked Ranma "Is this piglet your pet?"
    Ranma didn't quite know what to say.  "Not exa--".  The boy started to give
the piglet to Azusa, and Ranma choked out "Well, it is now...."
    "I am Mikado Sanzenin.  I'm glad to return your pet to you, beautiful one."
He preened, while Azusa rapped him on the head several times, raising lumps.
    Ranma only looked disgusted, while taking the pig from Mikado.  Mikado
tried to kiss Ranma's hand, and she withdrew it quickly.  The pig tried to
bite Ranma again, but a look that indicated that Ranma would consider letting
him be Azusa's pet forever calmed Ryouga down.  Ranma dumped out the few bits
of ramen in her bowl and plopped the pig in.  She looked up to Ucchan and
Mikado, who seemed to be completely ignoring her.  What were they doing?  They
were glaring at each other.  Ranma had no idea why.
    "Stay away from my fiancee!"
    "Fiancee...  what a weak bond."
    "Ranchan doesn't even like you!"
    Ranma nodded.  Mikado didn't notice.  "I have obviously charmed her with
my good looks and pleasant disposition and you have no right to treat her as a
possession."
    As they argued, the pig crawled out of the ramen bowl and scampered away,
leaping off the table.  Unfortunately, Azusa, busy calling the tablecloth
"Clarabelle", was there and retrieved her "pet".  "Charlotte!  Charlotte!"
    Mikado held Ranma's chin and leaned forwards to kiss her.  It was hard to
say whether Ukyou or Ranma turned the brighter shade of red.  Ukyou stuck a
small spatula in front of Mikado's face, between his lips and Ranma's.  Both
Ukyou and Ranma screamed at Mikado "Let's settle this now.  Fight!"
    Mikado backed away.  "No.  Not now.  If that's how you feel about it,
let's fight Thursday at the skating rink."
    Ranma didn't understand.  "Skating rink?"
    "Azusa and I are the undefeated golden pair!  Champions in ice-skating
martial arts!  You have no _chance_."  He added, "But to make it interesting,
girl"...  Ranma stated her name.  "Saotome Ranma.  And this us Ukyou Kuonji"
Mikado continued.  "To make it interesting, Ranma and Ukyou, the winner will
also get Charlotte."
    Ryouga growled at Mikado, but was firmly caught within the horrid iron
grip of Azusa.

(To be continued.)