Chapter 3 - IAEm not going to worry, I have my towel...

A little while later, I was sitting in the temple with three goddesses, 
sipping tea.

Damn, that seems such a mundane way of stating what would have freaked 
me out completely a little while ago. In fact, I still wasnAEt at all 
sure I wasnAEt dreaming all this.
However, it didnAEt seem like a dream, it seemed far too real, too 
_focussed_ to be a dream. Besides, I didnAEt think my dreams allowed me 
to have girls as sexy as Urd in them...  

Anyway, I really only had three options on how to deal with this.

(1) This was a dream, in which case I may as well act as if its real, 
and enjoy it, it wonAEt matter.

(2) IAEm tucked up somewhere in a nice padded room , with a note telling 
them not to allow me any sharp objects. In which case, I may as well 
believe its real and enjoy it until they give me my next injection.

(3) This IS real, in which case I damn well better act as if it is, 
because something VERY odd is happening to me, and I have an awful 
suspicion IAEm at ground zero of whatever it is.

So the sensible option was to take all this as if it were real, no 
matter how much difficulty I had persuading myself of that.

I sighed. At least I now had a plan (hah!) of action, lets see what the 
three Norns had to say.

I looked around at them, trying not to stare too much.

Urd I had seen out in the courtyard. Looking at her, I decided that the 
artists certainly didnAEt do her justice. It wasnAEt just that she was 
beautiful, all of them were, but she exuded an aura of sultry sexuality, 
apparently without even thinking, that even in these circumstances was 
getting me flustered. Her clothes didnAEt help; while she was wearing 
something reasonable for the bitterly cold weather, I found it difficult 
to understand how a girl could wear such warm, concealing clothing and 
still give the impression of being half-naked. I began to wonder what 
would it have been like if IAEd appeared in the summer. Probably have 
died of massive nasal hemorrhaging, I suppose...
She was looking me over in return, her eyes narrowed slightly, fingers 
of one hand slowly tapping the back of the other, as she looked 
thoughtful.

I attempted an innocent smile back. I donAEt think it worked.

The girl I hadnAEt seen earlier had to be Belldandy. Slimmer than her 
elder sister, she seemed much calmer, more restrained. While Urd gave 
the impression of a banked fire about to burst into flame at any moment, 
Belldandy reminded me of a calm pool. At least she was dressed in 
ordinary clothes, I was already beginning to be envious of Keiichi...
Unlike Urd, at least she smiled when she looked at me, but although she 
wasnAEt nearly as obvious as her elder sister, I had the distinct feeling 
that I was being subject to a far more detailed scrutiny. The phrase 
eesteel butterflyAE came to mind in her respect.

Finally, Skuld. I guess the best way to describe her would be vibrant, 
she seemed to give the impression of active, boundless energy even when 
seated, wearing the red/white clothes IAEd seen in the manga, a small 
mech chirrupping happily by her side as it respectfully held a tub of 
icecream, and a long hammer strapped to her back. 
She gazed at me in frank curiosity, her large eyes darting between me 
and a small device held in her hand, on which she constantly fiddled 
with some controls. Some sort of scanning device, I assumed. In between 
doing this, she took another heaped spoonful from the large (and already 
half-empty) ice-cream tub. 

I gulped, and sipped my tea while trying to decide what to say. I HAD to 
remember, these were real people, not characters in a manga. Whatever 
their personalities and reactions, they were bound to be far more than 
the 2-D cutouts IAEd read about, and I dared not assume they would react 
the same way. Hopefully, the fact that what IAEd seen so far did seem to 
correspond would mean they would act similarly, but I reminded myself 
again to be careful.
No clever attempts which assumes events would take place as in the 
manga, or that peoples reactions would be the same. Play it safe.
I sighed mentally. At least the Ah! Megamisama universe was pretty 
harmless (well, as long as you didnAEt join the Nekomi Tech Auto 
Club...). Now if it had been something like Ranma +, or Bubblegum 
Crisis, I could have started worrying seriously.

Did you ever have days where eeFamous Last ThoughtsAE about summed 
everything up?

Finally, the three looked at each other. After a moment of non-verbal 
communication, Belldandy turned to face me, having presumably being 
selected as their spokeswoman.

She spoke gently, her precise English overlaid with a soft Scandinavian 
accent.
"So, you say your name is David? And a little while ago you were at 
home, and suddenly appeared in our courtyard? And you have no idea how 
you got here, except that you claim we are fictional characters?"

I nodded to all her questions.

She frowned a little.
"So, you appear and drop out of a hyperdimensional portal right on top 
of us, surrounded by the thickest cloud of bugs any of us have seen for 
many years, with no warning or notification to us, and claim to have no 
idea how, and to be an innocent victim of some sort? And your world 
doesnAEt have the technology to do this?"

Despite her calm voice, I could easily detect the layer of steel 
underneath her words. Gentle or not, I didnAEt want to annoy her, I 
didnAEt think IAEd like the consequences...

I smiled weakly...
"ThatAEs all I know. One moment IAEm at home, starting to watch this odd 
LD, and the next IAEm on my back, looking up at Urd and Skuld. Everything 
between those events is a blank. I know it sounds stupid, but thatAEs 
what happened!"

"And no, my world certainly doesnAEt have the capability to do this sort 
of thing! Only in films, or in fiction... although... we do have an 
awful lot of unexplained disappearances - but IAEm sure they can be 
explained naturally"

Belldandy looked politely frustrated.
"IAEm sorry, but under the circumstances I canAEt just take your word on 
that. We will have to find out if you are telling the truth. IAEm sure 
you will understand..."

I looked at her, and gestured helplessly.
"Go ahead. Umm, it wonAEt hurt, will it?"

She smiled reassuringly. 
"Oh, I donAEt think so. Urd is very accomplished with her spells."
Behind me, I heard someone make a noise surprisingly like a snicker 
would have been like if it hadnAEt been muffled by the maker eating a 
mouthful of ice-cream.

I looked back in disbelief, wondering if it would be safer to run now, 
and have them assume me guilty of something, than submit myself to UrdAEs 
magic. Accomplished, right! As in accomplishing disaster!

Still, it wasnAEt as if I had a lot of choice. I just had to trust them, 
I had a feeling that I wasnAEt going to get very far in an attempts to 
get home without their help, so I might as well give in graciously

Standing reluctantly, I turned to face Urd.
"Go ahead"

She grinned, standing slowly and lazily...
"You know, this spell would be easier if you were naked..."

I blushed. 
Skuld turned bright red, and yelled at her sister!
"Urd, you hentai! CanAEt you keep your mind off  _that_ for a moment, 
even when things are serious!?"

Belldandy gave her sister a look.
"Please, Urd, not just now..."

Urd smiled, and shrugged in acceptance.
"Oh, OK. You arenAEt any fun, though."

Turning to look at me, she raised her arms, making graceful, flowing 
gestures as she swayed, chanting something in a faintly gutteral 
language I didnAEt recognise, but I assumed was something like her native 
tongue. Old Norse maybe.
Her chanting built up to a climax, and I braced myself, wondering 
absently what life on a lily-pad would be like if sheAEd gotten this 
wrong.
She gestured fiercely at me, releasing the spell in my direction. I felt 
_something_ wrap about me; I couldnAEt describe it, it sort of tickled, 
but that wasnAEt it. It was so unlike anything IAEd felt, I just didnAEt 
have anything to properly compare it with.
As the feeling faded, I looked down at myself. Well, it could have been 
worse, I still looked like me. I was even still clothed, something I 
hadnAEt been quite sure about, given what Urd said earlier.

Belldandy and Skuld looked at Urd, the former expectantly, the latter 
with barely-concealed impatience.

"Well, Urd? WhenAEs it gonna kick in?"
Skuld was obviously not going to wait any longer.

Urd was looking at me, with a very puzzled expression on her face.
"But it DID! It just - didnAEt have much effect!"

She peered at me, closely, then gestured her sisters to join her.
"See, it DOES show his aura! But itAEs so faint..."

Skuld frowned, and whispered something to her small mech. It bounded 
away, drawing the curtains, making the room as dark as possible. As my 
eyes adjusted to the fainter illumination, I could just see a faint 
flickering glow standing out from my body, a mix of royal blue and gold.

Urd snorted, loudly, her finger poking at me.
"This is crazy! A HAMSTER has more of a magical aura than he does!!"

I wondered if I should feel insulted by this? Up till now, the presence 
or absence of a magical aura (whatever that was when it was at home) 
hadnAEt exactly worried me, but then they tend to be fairly irrelevant to 
software engineers. I was rather more annoyed about the hamster remark, 
though.

Belldandy moved her hand in front of my face, not quite touching me as 
she looked thoughtful, her eyes not really focussed on anything.
"Well, heAEs definitely not a demon, there arenAEt any hidden markings."

Urd snorted in derision.
"Of course he isnAEt a demon, I could have told you that! Demons have 
better dress sense than to turn up in old jeans and a t-shirt, 
especially in this weather."

I blinked.
"Excuse me? But what was all this supposed to show, and how could it 
help you tell if I was telling the truth about how I got here?"

Belldandy motioned the others to sit back, while she tried to explain it 
all to me.
"Well, as we said, all living beings have an aura. UrdAEs spell should 
have made yours clearly visible, and let us see more details in it, like 
whether you were a demon in disguise. And your aura changes when you 
lie, we would have been able to spot that easily too. But yourAEs is so 
faint.. even enhanced, itAEs barely more than that of a normal persons!"

Skuld brightened visibly, almost bouncing up and down on her seat.
"Hey, oneechan! I can rig up a device to tell if heAEs lying! Easy! And 
much more reliable than UrdAEs spells..."

Urd scowled, but Belldandy nodded thoughtfully,
"I think youAEd better, Skuld. And then weAEd better investigate just why 
his aura is so strange as well. I canAEt believe all these things are 
coincidental. While you do that, I will see what information I can get 
off of the system"

I sat back, and sighed.
"So, how long will this all take?"

Skuld grinned, as she grabbed my hand, starting to drag me in the 
direction of her room.
"Not long, IAEve been waiting for an opportunity to try some of these 
things out."

Damn, I was afraid she was going to say something like that.

************************************************************************

SkuldAEs room wasnAEt exactly untidy. Well, not much more than that of a 
typical tecno-junkie. Most of the bits and pieces filling the available 
space were what IAEd expect, computer, disks piled everywhere, electronic 
parts, bits of mecha on most available surfaces, one large mecha that 
resembled a set of spheres, that I recognised from the series, and the 
only unusual thing, a HUGE refrigerator in one corner. Somehow I had a 
feeling I knew what that would be full of, and it wasnAEt Diet Coke.

Still dragging me, and followed by Urd, who was no doubt waiting for an 
opportunity to gloat at something going wrong with her little sisters 
experiment (i.e. me), I entered. Reluctantly. At the moment, my thoughts 
were not so much connected with hamsters as with guinea pigs and 
laboratory rats. . .

I carefully cleared a little free space, and sat down to wait. Urd 
lounged in the doorway, seemingly relaxed and bored, but I could feel 
her eyes on me occasionally, and I knew she was far from taking me for 
granted at this point. I hoped that when (if) Skuld could show them I 
wasnAEt lying about what had happened that maybe theyAEd all be a little 
friendlier.

Finally, Skulds delving, which up till now had rather resembled a hi-
tech gopher on speed, subsided as she came up triumphantly with a  
_something_ that looked more than a little dubious to me. A soft snicker 
from the doorway indicated Urd wasnAEt entirely impressed either.

It looked... well, sort of like an aluminium colander set with valves. I 
hadnAEt seen anything more outlandish since the last late-night 50AEs SF 
movie I watched. She grinned at me, and started to plug it into other 
pieces of kit, her little mecha grabbing wires and connecting them in 
for her. Finally she connected it into her computer, and sat back.

"There! Now, you put this on your head, and then follow the 
instructions & questions on the computer monitor, OK?"

I nodded doubtfully, gingerly taking the helmet contraptions with the 
delicate care more associated with handling nitroglycerine bottles than 
colanders. I looked into it, wondering just how much of my precious 
cerebellum this was likely to turn into kentucky-fried-brain, sighed, 
and very carefully set it on my head, barely restraining my immediate 
urge to yank it off as it started to hum softly.

Skuld patted me on the shoulder, a vague attempt at reassurance as she 
beamed fondly at her equipment. I got the distinct impression that sheAEd 
be a lot more worried if anything happened to it than to me, but I 
didnAEt see any real alternative. Urd was still lounging in the doorway, 
and I suspected she wasnAEt about to let me leave, especially before 
sheAEd had the chance to see what SkuldAEs little endevours would do to 
me.

SkuldAEs fingers blurred as she tapped on the keyboard, a rapid stacatto 
that filled the screen with characters, then left it holding one line of 
text. She turned to me, and smiled.
"There, just follow instructions, and then we can calibrate the lie-
detector."

I looked at the screen, then at her, then at Urd, and smiled weakly.
"Uh, ladies? I canAEt read Japanese..."

Skuld facefaulted.
Urd could barely restrain herself from doubling up in laughter.
Giggling, she pointed a shaky finger at her sister...
"Heheheh... your wonderful device... the marvellous lie detector that 
would solve the problem, after my magic failed and he canAEt understand 
it!! *bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!*"

Skuld looked daggers at her elder sister. If looks could kill, theyAEd 
have been carrying Urd away in a pine box about now, impaled with more 
knives than the average porcupine has quills. Then she looked at me, and 
scowled blackly.
"What do you mean, you canAEt read Japanese!"

"Why should I, Skuld? IAEm British, we donAEt get a lot of demand for 
Japanese over there! Uh, donAEt you have an English version? Or even an 
American one, I can understand American..."

She looked me, glared again at her still laughing sister, and then 
stared at me as if it was my personal fault. Then she muttered something 
I suspected was rude, and started to burrow into her equipment pile 
again.
I looked, deciding staying quiet was about the safest thing to do right 
now, especially as Urd was still chortling faintly.

At last, Skuld looked up, her hands grasping some circuit boards, and 
glared at me again.
"RIGHT, IAEm gonna fix this little problem once and for all!"

Somehow I didnAEt feel reassured at this point. I was already beginning 
to get an eeI know IAEm going to regret thisAE feeling, and UrdsAE giggling 
didnAEt exactly inspire me to greater confidence.
"What do I do?"

"Just keep the helmet on, while I rewire these."
There was a flurry of motion, then Skuld started to attack the keyboard 
again. While I couldnAEt read the kanji displayed, there were certainly 
some interesting graphics coming up. I was beginning to get a distinct 
impression from the amount of flashing red symbols, skulls, and other 
effects that she was hacking into parts of the system people werenAEt 
supposed to get access into.
The part that worried me most, though, was that I couldnAEt remember if 
Skuld was supposed to have a direct line to the Yggdrasil system. If 
THAT was what she was hacking, I was in serious trouble.

Finally, she smiled, and looked at me again.
"Ready?"

I nodded. What else could I do? After all, I didnAEt suppose IAEd really 
miss those brain cells she was probably about to fry...

Urd peered at the monitor, then looked over at her little sister.
"You do realise you arenAEt supposed to access that area, donAEt you?"

Skuld simply glared back. 
"At least my solution will work, not like your magic!"

Urd looked superior, and looked innocently at the ceiling.
"At least I wonAEt get into trouble when they find out."

Personally, I was getting less and less thrilled by this as their 
interchange went on. I bit my lip, and slowly eased up my hands to take 
the helmet off.

I should have moved faster. Skuld saw my slow motion, scowled blackly at 
me, and slammed her hand down hard on the <enter> key on her keyboard.

I think I screamed at that point. IAEm not really sure, since just then 
my head was about to explode as what seemed like a Niagara of 
information was jammed into it. 
I do remember waking up on the floor, twitching as Skuld gently took off 
a now-smoking and discoloured helmet, giving it a delicate care I felt 
would have been more suitable applied to me that to a mobile torture 
device like that. Wisely, for once  I kept quiet, except for a heartfelt 
moan.

Urd hmmmd, kneeling down to poke me gently with one finger.
"Um, Skuld, you DID remember heAEs only a mortal, didnAEt you? I hope you 
havnAEt broken him..."

Skuld looked back, gesturing to her pet mecha to tidy things away, no 
longer much interested in the equipment now it had dome its job.
"Of course I did, and heAEll be fine! Unlike SOME people, I donAEt break 
my toys when IAEm using them!!"

Urd merely sniffed, wrinkling her nose at the faint smell of charred 
insulation (not to mention charred me) still hanging in the air.
"So, what did you do, anyway?"

Skuld adopted a posture of genius lecturer addressing her dull pupils.
"Sinple. I stuffed Japanese into his head, AND tested his story for 
truthfullness at the same time! Simple, neh? At least, for a genius like 
me..."

Urd sighed...
"I donAEt suppose you thought about just changing the lie detector to 
work in English? It would have been much simpler."

Skuld looked a trifle guilty for a moment (while I wondered about the 
implications of eesimplerAE = eenot as much funAE), then looked innocently 
back.
"Oh no, this was much simpler!!"

Urd didnAEt seem convinced. Gently touching the singed and burnt areas 
where SkuldAEs device had touched my head, neither was I. My head seemed 
about to burst, and I had a splitting headache.

Skuld absently gestured me to get up, while her eyes scanned rapidly 
down tables of writing. I almost made sense of them, but while my eyes 
kept trying to read them, I couldnt process them into English fast 
enough. Personally, while it did have the advantage of speed, I didnAEt 
think SkuldAEs patent language lab was going to catch on, except maybe 
with the manufacturerAEs of aspirin...

Urd craned her head over her younger sisters shoulder, a thoughtful 
expression on her face.
"So, he was telling the truth. Fine. But what about his aura? Why 
didnAEt he have any magic, hmm? I notice your wonderful machine didnAEt 
tell us THAT!!"


Skuld sniffed derisively.
"At least it told us more than your magic did!! My technology is far 
more reliable than your old spells, especially with a careless hentai 
like you casting them!!"

Noticing SkuldAEs smug expression, and UrdAEs rapidly darkening one, I 
tried to interject, hoping to stave off the next fight until at least I 
had a better idea about what was hapenning to me.

I coughed, loudly.
"Ahem. Ladies??"
"Explain to me why itAEs so important that I donAEt show up as having no 
magic? I mean, I never had any in my world, so why should I have some 
just by being here?"

Urd looked at me with exasperation.
"Look, dummy, EVERYTHING has some level of magic if itAEs a living 
being. Even animals. But you donAEt show anything!"

I still couldnAEt see her point.
"Yes, but IAEm not from your world, remember? So why should I be the 
same?"

Skuld looked at her sister, and coughed.
"I think IAEd better explain it properly...

Urd gave her a rude look back, but subsided, I guess waiting for an 
opportunity to interject again.

"OK, David, itAEs like this.
All living beings generate a field effect that produces the energy we 
are referring to as magic. All of them, in any world. It may be that 
those energies are weak, or difficult to work with, where you come from, 
but you should still show them. Unless you are dead, or not alive.."

I gulped at that last, and Urd grinned, rather unpleasantly...
"Hmmm, you a Uu, Dave? Maybe I should see how _resilient_ you are..."

I looked seriously worried, and Skuld gave here sister a dark frown.
"Be serious for once, Urd, this is important! We havenAEt got time for 
your games!"

Urd made a face at Skuld, but went quiet again, as I looked back at 
Skuld.

"But if IAEm not dead, whatAEs happened to this magic you say I should 
have."

Skuld spared me a glance as she started to fiddle with her instruments.
"ThereAEs only one explanation I can think of. Your magic is being 
diverted somewhere, or blocked. So it wouldnAEt show up, and that would 
show why you canAEt use it"

I looked at her blankly.
"Use it? You mean as in use magic? But how can I, IAEm not a wizard or 
anything like that! Hell, where I come from we only have them in 
stories!

Urd gave a chuckle.
"Oh, you could, if you wanted. Every human has the potential to cast 
magic, given the training. Of course, by the same theory every human can 
win a gold medal at the Olympics, so I wouldnAEt let the idea of it scare 
you too much...!

I gave her a dirty look in return.
"I didnAEt say it scared me! I just said, we donAEt DO that where I come 
from!

She sat there and looked superior. I sat there and fumed quietly.
I must admit that I wasnAEt exactly thrilled by the concept of magic 
right now, all the experience I had had of it so far was being dragged 
from my home and dumped here. 

 Skuld ignored us both as she half-disappeared with her pet mecha and a 
large tub of ice-cream into a tangle of wiring as she started to modify 
her equipment again.

I waited impatiently for a few minutes, then moved around to look at the 
TV. Urd, after a look at her sister that as much as said eeOh kami-sama, 
there she goes AGAIN!AE had turned it on, and at least it would help me 
practice the nascent Japanese SkuldAEs machine had inflicted me with. And 
the concentration would hopefully stop me getting so distracted by UrdAEs 
nearness, not to mention the scent of her perfume. It wasnAEt that she 
was trying anything, her - sexiness, I guess - just seemed to be a part 
of her.

I had trouble at first, just knowing what the words meant didnAEt help me 
understand them when they were pronounced, and I found myself only 
getting phrases. Then the quiz show changed to the news, and it became 
easier, as the better diction of the newscasters gradually eased me into 
utilizing my new, painfully-aquired knowledge.


The announces shuffles his notes slightly, then looks into the camera...
"Teams arrived today from the University of California Earthquake 
research unit (???) to help Japanese seismologists investigate the 
change in tectonic behaviour following the major Earthquake disaster in 
Hiroshima 3 weeks ago."

(Camera cuts to shots of a 747 landing at Narita airport in Tokyo, then 
to a press conference where a number of American scientists are being 
interviewed)

"Professor Challenger, would you be kind enough to explain to our 
viewers the purpose of your teams visit to Japan?"

The professor gives an obviously fake, though well-rehearsed, smile to 
the TV camera.
"Of course. We are here to consult and aid the team from the Japanese 
Seismological Institute (??), combining our data and research on 
Californian earthquakes, to try and acertain why tectonic activity in 
the Japan area has been effectively non-existant since the recent 
terrible eequake in Hiroshima. As I am sure you know, such quiescence is 
unheard of here, and we are hoping to determine whether it is merely a 
result of the magnitude of the Hiroshima event relieving stresses for an 
unusually long time, or if it has some other cause..."

(camera cuts to the US team and piles of crates being loaded on Japan 
Seismology Institute vehicles, then fades back to the studio announcer)

"Meanwhile, in the US, yet more information is revealed in the Seattle 
cattle-mutilation scandal surrounding Bill Gates & Microsoft...."

I frowned, and looked at Urd.
"ThatAEs odd...

She tilted her head at me in an inquiring look.
"I donAEt remember that news being on at home. Oh well, I guess they 
didnAEt consider it important enough.

UrdAEs brow furrowed slightly, as if my comment had meant something, but 
just then we were both distracted by an empty ice-cream carton flying 
from the tangle of equipment Skuld had embedded herself in, followed by 
a muffled eeYattahAE, and the reappearance of Skuld.

She grinned at us both, taking the cloth her small mecha held out to 
wipe her hands clean.
"NOW we can find out whatAEs going on!"

(to be continued)