The Tragdey of Jim: Prince of Rant
Dramatis Persone:
The Fool: A jester, looks a lot like Jim
Jim: the Prince of Rant, sadly possesed of a running mouth
Horatio: A sidekick, written loyal
The Mailer-Deamon: An Imp, SD or Muppet-like, he loves to torment E-mail
users.
Anyone else foolish enough to join in
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Act the First: On the wall of LVNEXUS castle
Fool: "What ho? If now the list rise up
Then all these gentles shall receive
Our verses twice! And OH how they
shall make Jim howl for it!
That's a scene I'd very like to see." (laughs)
Shannon Richmeyer wrote:
Is it my end or has the list been flaking out pretty regularly lately?
Seems like it's been going down for long periods of time for the last
couple of days and I know you all have generated more than 15 pieces
of mail in the last 24 hours.
Has our own Evil Overlord abandonded his minons to the forces of the
Mailer Deamons? Wolf, *whimper* fix it, please? *big bambi eyes*
Windlily
Jim: "Come Horatio, tred the parapet beside me"
(They assend.)
Horatio: "A cold wind blows."
Jim: "Lordly Winter, Sovereign of Snows,
has sent his heralds out before his host.
Horatio: "What do we here?"
Jim: " I come to mark that Tower." (he points)
"See there, it proudly lifts it's head."
Horatio: "It seems a strong redoubt.
What name does it have?"
Jim: "FFML."
Horatio: "The same? I had heard it a crowded place."
Jim: "Just so.
And Merry, filled to overflowing
with wildest jest and soaring speculation.
Nary an hour passed without some happy pronouncement.
And the tales, Horatio,
Ah, to abandon worldly cares and sit
and listen to the tales.
But now, the tower is dark.
Only the winter wind is heard,
mourning through empty halls.
Some evil has befallen them,
Horatio, mark me,
Some wickedness has felled White Wolf,
the senchnel of the keep,
and put the merry host to flight."
(The Mailer-Deamon appears in a puff of smoke at Jim's elbow)
Jim and Horatio: "ACK!"
Mailer-Deamon: "I am come! These Twenty Hours
Ten and Two beside I have labored.
Now I come." (laughs maniacily)
Jim: "What Imp!
Thou owest me more!
Full Six Score Hours must you serve!"
Mailer-Deamon: "I serve NOT,
And shall not serve
for I have finished serving
and no further service shall I
serve
Unless my right-words you now say."
Jim: "Foul Imp!
I'll spit thee on my Motorola Blade!"
Horatio: "Go To! Prince Jim Go To!
Thou knowest the ways of these infernal creatures
Deal as you must then
Waste no time in idle rage."
Jim: "Thou speakest aright.
Truly Horatio, thou art a loyal man"
Horatio: "I am but written so."
Jim: "And now, insolent spirit.
Why stoppest thou?"
Mailer-Deamon: "I stop for I am done."
Jim: "How done?"
Mailer-Deamon: "I am done with my task."
Jim: "With what task have you done?"
Mailer-Deamon: "I bring you ... This"
Jim and Horatio: "Receipts!"
Jim: "Huzzah! The list with life yet pulses!
My messages have now been taken in!"
Horatio: "Hold Prince.
If FFML has indeed
Its former state regained
Then why has the creature not returned
ladden with messages?"
Jim: "Just So!
Imp! How now in FFML?"
Mailer-Deamon: "I know not."
Jim: "YOU HAVE JUST COME FROM HENCE!"
Mailer-Deamon: "I am a Mailer-Deamon.
I know not whence I come from
neither the state of any that I leave.
Unless I cannot in my task succeed,
And ONLY then do I return.
But now, having found,
I give, and having given,
I go, Back to my resting place until
By my right-words I am once more summoned."
(the Mailer-Deamon vanishes)
Jim: "A Horse, a Horse, my Hard-Disk for a Horse!
I will go forth Horatio!
I will belt on my Motorola Blade
And I myself will find the meaning out
Of all these missing messages!"
Horatio: "My prince, I am, and shall remain
your sidekick, written fully loyal and true
wither thou goest, I must surely follow,
nor do I fear,
and yet, stay prince,
mark ye four more hours here,
troubling not to leave before that time.
It may yet be another Imp
shall from FFML fortress fly
bringing news of all the host therin
so then, be ruled by me and stay,
yet this little time.
Jim: "Your council, Horatio, is wise.
but if the hour passes and no word comes,
We Ride!
(Exit all)
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