Chapter 7 : Full Body Cat Tongue, Revised.

     Shampoo bursted into the Nekohaten on the verge of tears.  Angry, she
tore her apron off, threw it in the corner, and sat down sulking in the
corner.  Cologned hopped over.  She was completely mystified by Shampoo's
behavior.  'That's strange, Shampoo is usually very enthusiastic.  It must
be Ranma.'

     Cologne placed her hand on Shampoo's shoulder in an attempt to comfort
her.  "Shampoo what happened?"

      Cologne listened to Shampoo's tearful protests.  "Ranma kissed a
girl!"  Cologne's face became slightly hard as she completely misinterpreted
the situation.  'So Ranma's twotiming Shampoo, eh?  I think I need to
motivate him a bit.'  She rubbed her chin with her hand, as she felt a plan
brewing.

      "Shampoo, no need to cry.  I have a plan that will make Ranma marry
you."  Cologne stood thinking.  'It's a long shot, but I think that the Full
Body Cat Tongue should work.'  Cologne began to laugh, and she hopped out of
the restaurant.  She turned to give Shampoo some instructions.  "Shampoo,
take care of the restaurant for awhile.  I'll be back soon."  Cologne hopped
off.

* * *

      "Boy!"  Genma was talking to Ranma, as Ranma sparred in the backyard.
"What was going through your mind when you scratched me up?"  Genma was
still miffed that Ranma had the audacity to beat him, even as a cat.  

      Ranma didn't answer, he continued to punch the dummy into pieces.
Satisfied with his handy work, Ranma worked on the other dummy.  His foot
exploded through the oak dummy.  Both Ranma and Genma were unaware of a
third person who was standing on the fence.

      "Hello.  Ranma, may I speak with you for a moment?"  Ranma looked up
at the fence, and saw Cologne standing there on her stick.  "I have
proposition for you."  Genma also looked up, and as soon as he saw Cologne,
he started to shake in fear.  Genma broke out into a sweat recalling what
Cologne did to him when she and Shampoo caught him pilfering some food.
Genma thought, 'If Ranma hadn't beat Shampoo...'  Genma shuddered at the
possibility, and he suddenly desired to leave as soon as possible.

      Genma turned to Ranma, and threw him at Cologne.  "Yes Ranma, you go
have a nice talk with her, while, I go into the house, and hide under the
bed." Genma struggled hard, and he scrambled off.  Ranma tumbled in the air,
but he landed perfectly on the fence.

      He shouted at Genma's retreating body.  "Coward!"  He felt something
hit him squarely on the chest.  "What!"  Ranma paled when he saw the stick
move away from his chest.  Ranma stumbled backwards.  'Oh no!  She touched
me.  That can only mean she hit a pressure point or something!'  Ranma's
worst fears were proven to be correct.

      Cologne looked grimly at Ranma.  "Ranma I've touched your Full-Body
Cat Tongue pressure point.  It makes your body as sensitive as a cat's
tongue, which is extremely sensitive to heat.  Therefore, even warm water
will seem like scalding water to you, so the next time you turn into a girl,
you won't be able to turn back.  Unless, of course, you agree to be engaged
to Shampoo."  Ranma cried out in rage, and he tried to punch Cologne.

       A stick smashed him in the face, and launched him into the pond.
Cologne smirked slightly, and she jumped off.  'Well, so much for going
slow.'  Cologne thought to herself as she hobbled off.

       Ranma-chan bursted up from the water.  "Ah!  My clothes!"

* * *

       Ryoga walked alongside his friend Ranma, who even in his girl form
was obviously depressed.  "So Cologne touched a pressure point and you can't
turn back?"  Ranma nodded somberly.  

       "That ghoul!  If I could get my hands on her, I'll..I'll... Oh what's
the use, she's infinitely better than me."  For a minute or two, both
friends wandered the streets silently, hardly paying attention as buildings
and people passed them buy.  As Ranma walked, his head sunk lower and lower,
as he thought about his predicament.

       Ranma-chan pulled her head up, and looked at Ryoga.  "Hey Ryoga!  I
was wondering."  Ranma-chan adapted a very sexy pose that threatened to
induce heart failure in Ryoga and a few passing boys.  "Do you think I'm
cute?"  Ryoga stared at Ranma-chan for a moment, his brain completely numb.
'Damn it!  Ranma thinks he's a girl again.  I have to stop him.'

       Ryoga pulled out his umbrella, and smacked Ramna-chan on the head.
Ranma shouted back.  "Hey!  What was that for?"  Ranma reviewed the last few
seconds in his memory, and he realized why Ryoga hit him.  "Oh thanks."
Both boys continued to walk.

      A few minutes later, Ranma-chan's eye lighted up.  "Oh Ryoga!  Don't
you think this necklace is so beautiful!  The gems are so perfect and
sparkly!"  She was pushing her head against a window display of a jewelry
shop.  "Oh!  and that ring there!  It's so perfect....ow!"

     Ranma rubbed his head, and he laughed nervously.

* * *

     Ranma moaned as he entered his home, feeling the bruises that were on
his head.  Kodachi was in the backyard practicing with her ribbon, and she
watched the pained look on Ranma's face as he waved to her.

     She dropped her ribbon and walked to Ranma, who was sitting on the
porch.  "What's wrong Ranma?"  

     "Nothing.  Just that I can't turn back into a boy."  replied Ranma, who
was rubbing his head.  Ranma felt his anger burn again, and he swore
silently to himself.

     Kodachi, who didn't know about Ranma's encounter with Cologne, looked
at Ranma strangely for a moment.  "Are you sure?  Did you try a hot bath?"
Ranma shook his head.  Kodachi placed her hands on her hips.  "Well, how do
you know you can't turn back into a boy?  Why don't you take a bath now?"  

      Ranma shrugged his shoulders, and he walked into the house.  Pausing
to grab a towel, Ranma walked into the bathroom, and stripped off his
clothing.  Quickly showering himself with cold water, he held the shower
head, ready to blast himself with hot water.  Somehow, he heard Cologne's
voice again echoing in his head.  'Damn you if you are joking!'  Ranma
steeled himself and turned on the hot water.

      Kodachi paled when she heard screams coming from the bathroom.

* * *

     "Ranma!  Ranma!" 

     Ranma groaned as his vision slowly restored to reveal his anxious
mother.  He felt a cool towel dab at his head.  Groaning, Ranma slowly sat
up, and rubbed his head.  Nodoka pushed Ranma back down.  "What happened
Ranma?  Kodachi found you on the bathroom floor."  Ranma groaned as he
remembered the burning pain which covered his entire body.

     Ranma-chan cheerfully sat up.  "Never mind mother!  It's nothing!
Shall I go cook dinner?"  She didn't wait for her mother to respond, and she
dashed out of the room to go to the kitchen.

     Nodoka sat there, her face slightly twitching in complete shock.
Kodachi stared at Nodoka, who remained motionless for minutes, and she
decided to tell her what Ranma had told her.  "Um Nodoka, Ranma, before he
went into the shower, told me about a Full Body Cat Tongue or something."

* * *

     Genma shook his head as he watched Ranma-chan churn out a banquet.
Growling slightly, he walked into the kitchen.  "Ranma.  Boy!  What are you
doing?"  Ranma-chan hummed as song as she prepared the stir-fry.  Genma
grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her.  "Ranma do you hear me?  You're
a boy not a girl!"

     Ranma-chan cheerfully turned around and smiled at Genma.  "Hi Papa!  Do
you want to try this?"  She grabbed a piece of chicken and shoved it into
Genma's mouth.  Genma warily chewed for awhile, and he was surprised that it
tasted excellent.  His stomach took over, and he patted Ranma-chan
encouragingly on the shoulder.  "Keep up the good work."  Genma happily
walked out of the kitchen.

    Ranma ripped off his apron and threw it at Genma.  "What do you mean
'keep up the good work?'  I'm cooking!  I'm a boy!"  Ranma glanced at the
pan in his hands.  'Well, it looks good.'  Ranma dumped the pan next to the
stove, and he walked out of the kitchen.  "At least old man, you could have
stopped me from embarassing myself.  I'm going out."

     Ranma barely made it four steps out of the gate when he heard Shampoo.
"Ni hao Ranma!  Great grandmother said that you want marry Shampoo!"
Shampoo saw that Ranma wasn't in a cheerful mood.  She screeched to a halt,
and briefly hugged Ranma.  "What wrong Ranma?  Why are you girl not boy?"
she asked in her broken Japanese.

     "It's funny that you ask me.  Does anything like Full-body Cat Tongue
ring a bell?"  Ranma coldly spoke, his bitter comment evoking concern in
Shampoo.

     Shampoo dismounted from her bike, and pulled Ranma close.  She asked in
Chinese.  "What do you mean Full Body Cat Tongue?  Did Cologne do this to
you?"  Ranma looked rather surprised.  It seemed that Shampoo had no idea
what Cologne had done.  "I should have known.  Great grandmother said that
she would take care of you this afternoon, and she left rather quickly.  I
know of only one cure to this: the Phoenix Pill."  

     Ranma paused in thought.  'The Phoenix Pill.'  He almost grabbed
Shampoo.  "So where can we find this Phoenix Pill?"  Ranma began to shake in
excitement.

     Shampoo held up her right hand to calm Ranma.  She continued. "Not
easy, Great Grandmother have Pill.  She plan this way.  Only way she give
pill is you engage to me."  Ranma cracked his knuckles as he thought.  'Not
if I can help it.  I guess I will have to pay Cologne a visit.'

     Ranma-chan grabbed Shampoo.  "Oh, the Phoenix Pill can wait.  Let's go
to the mall!"  Shampoo sighed as she knocked Ranma-chan on the head with her
bonbori.  Rubbing his smarting head, Ranma smiled sheepishly at Shampoo.

* * *

     Akane walked into the Nekohaten with Nabiki.  "So Nabiki, what do you
think of the place?  From what I've heard, this place is great."  Akane was
surprised by an ancient, almost mummified woman, who directed her and Nabiki
to a small table in the corner.  The woman presented both with menus, and
quickly, both girls made their order.  

      The woman smiled slightly.  "Your orders will be ready in a minute."
She amazingly hopped off, and almost instantaneously came back with two
steaming bowls of ramen.  Akane muttered.  "It's a shame that Kasumi and
Father had to go visit grandmother.  If Father had stayed, I would have
happily cooked dinner."  Nabiki choked on her noodles, knowing all too well
Akane's particular flair for cooking lethal meals.

      Savoring the great tasting meal, both girls were not prepared for
Ranma's entrance.  Someone slammed the door open, and Akane was surprised to
see Ranma walk in.  Ranma looked around, and he shouted.  "Hey Old Ghoul!
Why don't you fight me fair and square?"

      Cologne looked at Ranma, and she indulged herself to a puff on her
pipe.  "Well, Son-in-Law, it is certainly a surprise that you came.  Did you
agree to being engaged to Shampoo?"  Cologne took another puff, and looked
at Ranma with an air of victory.  Ranma growled, and he started to breath
heavily.  Since he was in a girl's body, his actions looked pretty
seductive, and all of the men in the restaurant turned their heads, and
looked at Ranma.

      "No!"  Ranma shouted as he gritted his teeth.  His eyes caught the
glint of a metal locket that hung around Cologne's neck.  Ranma strained his
eyes as he barely made out the lettering.  'That's the Phoenix Pill, I must
have it.'  As quick as lightning, he leaped at the locked.  Everyone in the
restaurant gasped as Ranma's arm became a giant blur.

     Cologne easily dodged Ranma.  However, Ranma was never one to quit so
easily, and he charged the old woman, his hands flashing about at the
locket, but every time, Cologne dodged him easily.  Ranma grabbed at handful
of chopsticks, and flung them at Cologne.  The old Amazon woman easily
dodged the storm of chopsticks.

      Cologne flashed in front of his face, smiling.  "Ranma, you're good
but not good enough.  I'd wager another hundred years, and you'll be a
serious contender."  Cologne's stick lightly struck Ranma on the forehead,
and he was blasted out of the restaurant into the fence on the other side of
the street.

     Ranma-chan started to sniffle, surpressing her urge to cry.  Like
Ranma, when she had a certain stubborness, and when pressed to it, a
tenacity.  She ran into the restaurant.  "Cologne, please give me the pill!"
She launched into her attacks, but just as before, Ranma-chan was thrown out
of the restaurant.

     Ranma growled in displeasure.  Crawling to his feet, he shouted.  "Old
ghoul!  I'll get you this time!"  He ran back into the restaurant, and yet
again he was thrown out.  Shampoo sighed, her neck tired from watching Ranma
running in and being thrown out.  Looking around, she spied an empty seat
next to Akane.  She walked over, and sat down, watching Ranma as he
stubbornly attacked Cologne.

     Akane shook her head.  "Will Ranma ever take no for an answer?"  Nabiki
shrugged her shoulders.  She kind of admired Ranma's blunt dedication to the
task at hand.  After a few cycles of being knocked around, Ranma-chan landed
into the wall, and cried out of desperation.

     "Why can't I beat Cologne?  Why?"  Ranma-chan fell to her knees in
front of the restaurant entrance, and immediately, all of the men in the
restaurant felt a compelling need to impress Ranma-chan.  All of the boys
charged Cologne.

     They shouted battlecrys.  "Is that how you're supposed to treat a girl?
That's mean!"  They swarmed Cologne.  They tried to trample Cologne.
Despite their numbers, they were not even a significant force against
Cologne.  In a mere ten seconds, all of the men in the restaurant were
supine on the ground.  

     Cologne looked at Ranma-chan who had quelled her crying, and was
crawling over to Cologne, still trying hard.  Cologne almost smiled, feeling
a certain respect for Ranma/Ranma-chan's determination.  'Well, I might as
well make the most of this situation.  Perhaps I could use this to teach
Ranma a technique or two.'  Cologne bent down and looked at Ranma-chan's
battered and tear-streaked face.  "I like your spirit Ranma.  Here, you can
be a waitress here, and I will allow you to try to get this pill from me
every day.  How about that?"

     Ranma disgustedly wiped the tears off his face, and he struggled to his
feet.  It was hard to stand up, because every cell of his being ached with
pain.  Unwilling to concede his defeat, Ranma saw Cologne's offer as a way
to prolong his battle for the Phoenix Pill.  He nodded.  "You can bet your
life that I'm going to be a waitress.  See you tomorrow."  Ranma stiffly
walked out, trying to ignore the fatigue in his legs.

* * *

     Ranma-chan, wearing a cute tight apron that did much to reveal her
curves, wiped down a table.  Carrying a huge pile of dirty dishes to the
back, she saw the locket sitting unattended on the table.  Ranma-chan
struggled hard to keep herself from stealing the locket.  Peering around,
she decided to ask Cologne whether she had forgotten about the locket.
"Cologne?  Cologne?  Boss?  You forgot your locket."  

     Shampoo slapped herself in the forehead, and Cologne grumbled.  She
forced a smile.  "Thank you Ranma."  Her hands flashed rapidly over the
stove.  "Quick!  Four orders of wonton!"  Cologne rapidly tossed four bowls
into the air, and Ranma panicked.  Dashing around he finally caught all four
bowls.  One on the top of his head.  One in each hand, and the last one was
carefully balanced on a chopstick his mouth held.  The huge crowd of people
in the restaurant clapped their hands.

     Cologne thought to herself.  'He's got potential alright,' and she
decided to complement Ranma.  "Not bad Ranma."

     Ranma couldn't grumble, because if he did, he would risk dropping the
bowl.  But he managed to say.  "Dry up, old ghoul.'  as he quickly
delievered the orders.

* * *

     Kodachi watched Ranma as he walked off the next morning, extremely
tired.  "Ranma are you going to work?"  Kodachi was genuinely worried for
Ranma.  Ever since he had started working at the Nekohaten, his appearance
as well as sanity seemed ruined.

     Ranma barely responded.  "Yes."  He continued out of the door,
constantly mumbling to himself.  Kodachi shook her head, and decided that
she should pay a visit later to the Nekohaten.  'But first things first, I
should invite Akane and Nabiki over too.'  Kodachi was happy that Akane and
Nabiki were turning out to be decent friends, and she decided that despite
their competition over Ranma, they should be aware of his suffering.

* * *

     "Six orders of beef noodles and three orders of ramen, catch!"
Ranma-chan scrambled about, and she juggled the bowls around in giant
circle, miraculously not spilling a single drop.  Kodachi, Akane and Nabiki
behind her, slid open the door to the Nekohaten.  They were all surprised
with Ranma-chan.

     Kodachi muttered.  "They're treating him like an animal!"  Ranma with a
deft flick of her wrist, sent the bowls flying over to the right place.
Everyone started clapping.

    Nabiki walked up to Ranma-chan and poked her gently.  "Ranma, are you
ok?"  Ranma-chan took one look at Akane, Nabiki, and Kodachi and started
laughing crazy.  Her eyes glazed over, and her arms started to rapidly move
around, as if she were catching flying bowls of noodles.

    Ranma started to mumble out the orders.  "4 bowls of ramen, coming up.
5 bowls no problem..."  Ranma groaned slightly, and he fainted right into
Nabiki.  Tilting forward, Ranma's body slowly picked up speed, and his open
mouth landed on Nabiki's breast.

    Nabiki started to blush.  "Ranma, you're a girl now, and we're in
public.  I don't think you should do this!"  Shampoo screeched to a halt
outside, and through the open doorway, she saw Ranma and Nabiki...  Her cute
face wrinkled as she stomped to Nabiki.  Shampoo had been tolerate of
Ranma's other girlfriends, but intimate contact of that nature was just too
much.  Akane had similar thinking.  'How dare Nabiki take advantage of Ranma!"  

     Akane thought of the best way to wake Ranma to his senses.  "Ranma!
Get off of my sister!"  She sent her hand in a perfect arc that ended on
Ranma's left cheek, sending Ranma flying off of Nabiki.

     "Ranma, wake up!"  Shampoo slapped Ranma on the right cheek, sending
him flying the other way.  Shampoo glared at Nabiki, her eyes imagining
daggers, swords, and spears piercing Nabiki.  "You no touch my Ranma!"  

     Kodachi decided to speak out.  "That's not fair for blaming Nabiki.  It
was an accident!"  Nabiki nodded fervently.  Before a giant argument could
break out, Ranma complained while nursing his bruised cheeks.

    "Hey take your fight elsewhere.  I need to work."

    Cologne was most certainly impressed with Ranma's last exercise.  'He's
ready.'  Cologne called out to Ranma.  "Ranma, come with me.  I have
something to show you!"  Cologne hopped out the door, pausing to grab a bag
of chestnuts.

* * *

    Ranma stared at the bonfire in front of him as if it were a joke.
"Cologne, what's so special about this?  It's just a fire."
  
    Cologne ignored Ranma's remark.  Struggling with some difficulty to open
the bag, Cologne dumped the chestnuts into the heart of the fire.  Cologne
looked Ranma straight in the eye.  "Watch, and learn."  Cologne paused for a
moment, and suddenly her arms flashed in and out of the fire.  In a mere two
seconds, all of the chestnuts were out of the fire, and in her hands.  Her
hands were untouched.

     Cologne turned to Ranma.  "What have you just seen is a technique that
has been passed down for 3000 years in Amazon history.  Once you master this
technique, you can easily take this locket away from me.  Have fun!"
Cologne hopped off.

     Shampoo spoke in awe.  "Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken."  She turned to Ranma
with a smile on her face.  "Ranma is good Great grandmother show you secret
technique.  Shows that she like you!"

     Kodachi stared blankly at the fire.  "To pluck the chestnuts from a
fire without getting burned.  You have to be fast to do that!  Ranma do you
think you can learn this technique?"  Ranma only nodded, but deep within his
heart, he was beginning to doubt himself.

* * *

     Ranma kneeled in front a fire, his face burnt, his face frozen in pain.
His left eye momentarily twitched as he stared at the fire in front of him.
Kodachi kneeled next to Ranma, and she tried to comfort him.  "Ranma, maybe
you're trying too hard.  Do you want to call it quits, and come back later?" 

    Genma shouted.  "No!  My son is not a quitter!  He will not leave until
he masters this simple technique!"  Genma turned to Ranma.  "Ranma, I bet
that I could learn this technique easy."  Genma stood their his arms akinbo,
as he glared at his son.

    Ranma smirked.  "I'd like to see you try old man."  

    Genma assumed a stance in front of the fire as he concentrated hard.
'Eh, take the chestnuts out.  That's a piece of cake.'  He turned to Ranma,
his face stern.  "Watch closely!"  He focused on the smoldering pile of
chestnuts, and after a slight delay, his hand flashed into the fire.
Screaming in pain, Genma yanked his arm out of the fire, the sleeve of his
gi, already burning out.  Panicking, Genma danced in circles around Ranma
and Kodachi.

    Kodachi decided to help Genma, and she pushed him into the pond.  "Mr.
Saotome, are you alright?"  Genma, his clothes completely soaked, nodded.

    "So Ranma, have you learned the technique yet?"  Cologne leaped out of
nowhere, and landed right next to Ranma.  Ranma shook his head.  "Maybe I'm
going too hard on you.  Here, I'll let you try again, with my left hand
behind my back."  

    Ranma growled.  "Don't try to patronize me!"  His hands, a lot faster
than before, flashed out at the locket.  Cologne's eyes widened.  'He's
improved so quickly.  I'll say give or take a few more hours, and he will
have mastered the technique.'  Cologne still easily dodged Ranma, and she
leaped back.  "Ranma, you've only mastered that much?  A mere Amazon babe
can master more than you!  Well, I'll give you one more chance."  With a
laugh, Cologne leaped off.

    Ranma stood up and shouted.  "Old ghoul just you wait!  I'll master this
technique even if it kills me!"  Ranma stood over the fire, and he was about
to thrust his hands in it, but he stopped a couple feet away.  He groaned,
"It's so hot!  It's so hot!"

     Nodoka stepped out of the house, and walked over to Ranma.  She had
painfully watched Ranma train the entire afternoon.  "Ranma dear, Kodachi is
right.  Let her take you out, and take you mind off of this technique for
awhile.  I know you will master it soon."  Ranma couldn't go against his
mother's word, and he reluctantly agreed.

     "Ok, Kodachi where do you want to go?"

     Kodachi smiled.  "I hear that there is a fair in town.  We could go
there!"  

* * *

     Kasumi stared at the advertisement in front of her as she sat at the
table.  She had always wanted to go to a fair, but for some reason, every
time she tried, something happened to prevent her from going.  Kasumi
remembered, in fourth grade, she had planned to go, but mother was sick, and
Kasumi stayed home to take care of Akane.  And after her mother's death,
Kasumi spent all of her time taking care of the family.  She smiled to
herself.  'But tonight, I'm free.'  

    Standing up, she took off her apron, and dressed in casual clothing,
which was a complete change for her.  Soun barely recognized Kasumi as she
walked down the stairs in jeans and a sweater.  "Kasumi!  What's happening?"
Soun stammered out.  He prayed to god that nothing was wrong.

    Kasumi smiled.  "Oh nothing Father.  I just always wanted to go to the
fair.  I'll be back soon."