A RAW Disclaimer... see Alternative Reality Ch 5.....

Chapter 6: Dinner at the Tendos, and the Cat Fist.

      The telephone rang, and Genma slowly plodded over, and picked up the
phone.  Angry that someone interrupted his afternoon siesta, Genma growled
into the telephone.  But, his displeasure was quickly replaced with a smile
as he hanged up the telephone.  "Ranma!  Nodoka!  The Tendos have invited us
over for dinner!"

       Nodoka walked into the room.  "So Kodachi can come too?"  Genma
looked at Nodoka, knowing very well that he couldn't stop Nodoka, so he
nodded.  Genma thought otherwise.  'I know that Kodachi and Nodoka are
getting pretty close.  But Soun won't like it, especially since Kodachi
likes Ranma.'

* * *

      The door rang, and Kasumi answered the door.  "Oh hi Mr. Saotome.
Mrs. Saotome.  Ranma.  And who is this girl?"  Akane and Nabiki froze when
they heard Kasumi say "who is this girl?"  Kasumi too had serious misgivings
about this girl, especially judging the way she looked at Ranma,
periodically.  However, Kasumi ignored her feelings.  She knew that as a
hostess, she needed to treat her guests with the upmost respect.

      The dinner proceeded smoothly, with the adults in animated
conversation, as Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, and Kodachi ate silently.  Ranma
finished quickly, and he sat there listening to the boring conversation that
his Father was having with Soun.  Ranma stood up.  "Excuse me, but I'm going
to go outside."  Ranma slowly walked out to the Tendo's backyard.

      Just a soon as Ranma walked outside, Akane, Kodachi, and Nabiki
miraculously simultaneously finished their dinner, and all three walked
outside.  They found Ranma sitting on the porch, polishing his knife as usual.

      Genma prodded his friend.  "I guess your daughters are interested in
Ranma."  Soun looked out and saw the three girls who were hounding Ranma,
yet Ranma did not react the slightest.  

      "But it seems your son is not interested at all."  Nodoka sighed, when
she saw Ranma polishing his long knife.  Kasumi also sighed, and she stood
up, and started to clear away the dishes.

* * *

      "So Ranma, I heard that you clobbered Kuno today!"  Akane looked at
Ranma, who was satisfied with his short sword and sheathed it again.  Ranma
looked up, and was surprised with the girls surrounding him.  

      "Yeah, it wasn't anything.  Anyways Shampoo already beated the
stuffing out of him, so you can't really say that I beated him."  Everyone
heard the sound of a bike approaching.

      Whump!  Seconds later, an airborne bike crashed down in the Tendo's
backyard, and Shampoo dismounted.  "Ni hao!"  Shampoo was carrying a basket,
and she happily walked over to Ranma.  "Great grandmother just gave me a
gift!  And I want to show it to you!"  Everyone except for Ranma scratched
their heads.  It seemed that only Ranma knew Chinese.

       Shampoo cheerfully continued.  "It's a little cute kitten."  Ranma
paled and he started to back away slowly.

       "Shampoo, no!  Not a cat!"  Ranma, started to panic, and his parents
heard the word "cat."  Both immediately jumped up, and shouted
simultaneously.  "No!"  Shampoo didn't heed Ranma, and she pulled out a very
cute kitten, which had some resemblance to her.  Ranma started screaming,
and he ran wildly out of the way.

        Genma came running out.  "Where's Ranma?"  Ranma came running
blindly, and he landed on top of his father.  Pulling on the edges of his
father's gi, Ranma screamed into his father's face.

        "Where's the cat!  Make it go away!  It's all your fault!"  Shampoo
smiled, and she presented the cat to Ranma, who yelped out again, and ran
into a stone statue, knocking him out.

        Kasumi had her hand over her mouth.  "Oh dear, it seems that Ranma's
afraid of cats."  Soun nodded slowly.  

        Genma slung Ranma's still twitching body over his shoulder, and
dumped him next to the table where Nodoka covered Ranma's eyes with a
napkin.  Genma cleared his throat, and he began to spoke.  "I guess I had
better explain Ranma's behavior."  Everyone, excluding Ranma who was
unconscious, and Nodoka who already knew about Ranma's problems, nodded.

        Genma reached into his gi, and mysteriously pulled out a giant tome,
which he handed to Soun.  "Open it and read it."  Soun looked at his
daughters, and he openned the book.

         "How to master the ultimate technique of the Cat Fist."  Soun
paused.  'So Ranma knows the Cat Fist!  That technique has only been
mentioned in legends!'  He continued.  "Wrap the unlucky trainee in fish
sausage, and then throw him into a giant pit of cats."  Soun stopped.
Unsure, he glanced at the other pages in the book.  Everything else was
blank.  Obviously, this book was some sort of joke.  He turned to Genma.
"This is it?  That is all one needs to do to learn the Cat Fist?"

        Genma pushed his glasses back.  "Read the fine print on the bottom
of the page."

      "Warning: Only the insane would attempt to learn the Cat Fist."  Soun
looked at Ranma who was clawing at the air indiscriminately.  'So this is
what happens.'  Genma started to cry, and he told his story.

        "As soon as Ranma turned six, I decided to teach him the Cat Fist.
So, I followed the instructions to the letter.  I wrapped him in fish
sausage, and threw him into a pit of starving alley cats."  Everyone
shudderred, almost picturing a little boy screaming while hundreds of
ravenous cats fought on top of him to eat the sausage.  

        Ranma snapped up straight, and grabbed his father.  "It's all your
fault!  It' all your fault!"  Genma calmly reached over, grabbed Shampoo's
pet, and shoved the cat into Ranma's face.

        "Boy!  Never interrupt your father!"  Ranma started screaming again.
Nodoka sighed, and she covered Ranma's eyes, and he calmed down again.  

        Kasumi ventured to speak.  "So why didn't you try to teach Ranma to
get used to cats?"  Genma looked up gravely at Kasumi.

        "I did.  I tried everything humanly possible to teach Ranma not to
be afraid with cats.  I covered him with fish paste and threw him into the
alley.  When that didn't work, I covered him with large sardines and threw
him into the alley.  I tried medium sardines.  I tried small sardines.  I
even tried sardines covered with tomato sauce!  I tried catnip.  I
tried...."  Genma went on and on talking about different kinds of fish.
Everyone was appalled.

        Meanwhile, under the Tendo house, a pair of eyes gleamed.  "Master
Kuno will be pleased with my report."

* * *

       "Ranma Saotome, afraid of cats!"  Tatewaki broke out in
uncontrollable laughter.  "Now armed with his fear, I shall win!  I shall
win!"  Kuno turned to Sasuke.  "Sasuke, we must prepare!"  His master ninja
nodded.

* * *

      Ranma groaned, as he tried to open his locker.  'Damn stupid locker!
Damn combination doesn't work!'  Finally giving up, Ranma punched his locker
really hard, and to Ranma's surprise, it popped open.  A sheet of paper fell
out.  Ranma picked up the paper, and started to read.

"To that wretched cur, Saotome.  

I have kidnapped Akane Tendo and my sister Kodachi.  In order to save them,
come to the gym immediately.

Signed,
Tatewaki Kuno, the champion of Kendo, Blue Thunder, etc.....etc....etc....."

       "Hi Ranma!"  Ranme turned, and saw Akane trying to pull out a
textbook from her tiny locker.  Ranma took one good look at the sheet, and
at Akane.  'Kuno must be joking, but I'll show up.'  

       "Akane, did Kuno try to kidnap you or something?"  Ranma showed the
letter to Akane.  Akane looked at it and shooked her head.

       "Hi Ranma!  Hi Akane!  Kodachi forced her way through the crowd of
students, and she ended up next to Ranma.  "What's up?"  Ranma took one look
at the paper and at Kodachi again.

       "Well, Kuno got my interest.  You want to come with me to the gymnasium?

* * *

       "Oh Ranma!  Save me!  Oh Ranma!"  Ranma was greeted with the
discordant sounds of a man attempting a falsetto voice.  Covering his ears
so his head would not hurt, Ranma slowly approached the stage, and the
figure who was in the shadows.

      "You're not Akane!"  Ranma shouted, "So who are you?"  Ranma leaped at
the figure, and both landed grappling on the ground.  The figure leaped off
of Ranma and started to laugh.

      "Ranma!  You've fallen into my trap!"  He pulled a lever, and
suddenly, he fell.  Akane and Kodachi climbed onto the stage, and stood
behind Ranma.  Kodachi was scratching her head.

      "What was he trying to do?"  Both Ranma and Akane shrugged their
shoulders.  A small trembling hand fought its way out of the hole, and a
tiny man, garbed like a ninja pulled himself out of the hole.

      "Sorry, wrong lever!"  The ninja pulled another lever, and a giant
sandbag, fell on top of him, knocking him back down the hole.

      Ranma turned to Akane and Kodachi.  "I don't know what he's trying to
do!  I think I'll go ask him."  Ranma leaped down the hole.  Akane and
Kodachi looked at each other, and followed Ranma.

      Ranma landed on a giant sandbag, and he was surprised by the sounds of
a person in agony.  Ranma looked under the sand bag and found a crushed
person down there.  The person groaned again, as Kodachi and Akane landed on
the bag.  Ranma poked him.  "Hey, what exactly are you trying to do?"  The
ninja moaned, and with his trembling hand, he handed Ranma something.

      Ranma looked at the thing, and his heart stopped.  It was a handful of
fish sausage.  Ranma stumbled backwards, muttering nervously.  "It can't
be!"  The sounds of cats meowing proved him wrong.

       Sasuke extracted himself from the sandbag, and he laughed
triumphantly in front of Ranma.  "So now Ranma, are you afraid?"

       For the moment, Ranma swallowed his fear, and he grabbed Sasuke and
started to shake him.  "NO!"

       "Not even the slightest?"

       Ranma roared, "I mean NO!"  Ranma started to twitch uncontrollably,
and both Akane and Kodachi decided to take matters into their own hands.

       Akane grabbed one of Ranma's arms, and Kodachi grabbed the other.
"Come on", said Akane, "We don't need to waste our time here.  Let's go!"
Sasuke panicked when the girls were going to open the Door.

       "No Wait, not that door!"  Too late, Akane grabbed the handle, and
openned it revealing a giant tiger.  Akane and Kodachi both screamed, and
they started to walk away, dragging Ranma with them.  The tiger leaped, and
landed inches away from Ranma.

        Ranma started to scream.  "Make it stop!  Make it stop!"

* * *

        "So Mr. Saotome, Ranma just gets scared when he sees a cat.  Right?"
Kasumi put some cake, and some tea on the table for Soun and Genma, who were
locked in a match of shogi.  

         Genma nodded.  "Yes, that is, until the fear completely grips
Ranma's mind."  Kasumi and Soun looked at Genma, surprised that there could
be more.  "Then he meows."

* * *

         Ranma looked at the giant snarling tiger in front of him, and
suddenly he snapped, and consciousness faded.  Akane gasped as Ranma landed
on the ground on all fours, and started to meow.

         "Kodachi!  What's happening?"  Both girls and Sasuke watched in
amazement as Ranma started to hiss at the tiger.  Kodachi stared at Ranma.
'So is this the Cat-Fist?'

         Ranma started to scratch the ground, as he stared at the tiger.
"Rowrrrrrr!!!!!! Hiss Hisshiss!"  And then both cats pounced at each other,
claws extended ready to rend each other into scraps.

* * *

        Soun looked at his friend. "So how does Ranma recover?"

        Genma looked grim.  "Well, only Nodoka could calm him down as a cat
to a certain degree, but an old neighbor of ours, she always managed to calm
down Ranma, so much, that he'd regain his sanity.  But she has long since
passed away."  Genma reached over to grab a piece of cake, but for some
reason, his fingers slipped, and the cake splattered onto the ground.

        Genma's eyebrow raised slightly.  'I never drop my food!  Could this
be an omen?'  Genma looked around, and found a black cat running on the
fence, and a bottle of spilled salt on the table.  'Yup, must be an omen or
something, but what?'  Genma sat for a moment, and then he sprung up.  "This
no common occurance.  Ranma must be in trouble!"

* * *

      Kuno laughed uncontrollably as he heard the sounds of struggling in
the gym.  'Soon!  When I defeat Ranma!  I will have Akane on my right!  My
sister on my left! And all other girls swarming over me!'  He glanced at the
stage in front of him, as the sounds of struggling and fighting grew louder.

      Finally, the stage exploded, and a whirlwind of cats flew upwards.  A
kid pointed.  "Hey!  Who's doing that?"  Everyone who Kuno had invited into
the gym to witness Ranma's downfall murmured in awe.  Suddenly hell broke loose.

      "RoWRRRRR!"  Ranma landed on top of Kuno, and started to claw crazily.
Kuno looked in disbelief as his clothing was shredded in seconds.  Sasuke
leaped out of the stage to protect his master.  He brandished a fish sausage
in his hand, which attracted Ranma away from Kuno.

     "Hey Kitty!  Fetch!"  Sasuke flinged the sausage out the second story
window.  Ranma-cat easily leaped after it, and he disappeared out the
window.  Kodachi and Akane fought their way out of the splintered stage.
   
     Akane saw Nabiki.  "Nabiki!  Where did Ranma go?"  

     Nabiki pointed out the window, and the three girls ran outside.
Already, a crowd had gathered, around a tree.  Akane and Nabiki could hear
the voices in the crowd.  "Hey look up there!  Isn't that Saotome?"  "Yeah,
I always thought he was insane or something."  Akane and Nabiki were
surprised to see Mr. Saotome, their father, and Kasumi there.

     "Mr. Saotome!  What are you doing here?"  Akane and Nabiki looked
incredulously at Genma, who was struggling into a woman's wig, and crudely
applying makeup.  

      Genma clenched his fist.  "Now I shall show my true love.  I will
swallow my pride to cure my son!"  Genma struggled into the tree, and he
climbed slowly to Ranma.  As soon as he landed on the same branch as Ranma,
Ranma started to hiss.  "Now!  Kitty-kitty be nice!"  Genma slowly edged
closer and closer to Ranma.

      "Hiss!"  Ranma leaped onto Genma, and both tumbled out of the tree.
Ranma started to destroy Genma's clothing and his wig.  Kasumi looked at the
situation, and she decided that she should intervene before Ranma could tear
his father asunder.

      "Bad Kitty!"  Ranma stopped, and he gave a look of innocence.  "Come
here kitty!"  Ranma slowly walked off of Genma, and curled at Kasumi's feet.
Kasumi smiled.  She always had a way of controlling animals.  "Now Ranma,
let's go home."  Kasumi walked off, with Ranma playfully prancing on all
fours behind her.

       Akane, Nabiki, and Kodachi looked somewhat jealously at Kasumi as she
easily lead Ranma off.  Instinctively, all three girls followed.
  
* * *

     The three girls entered the Tendo Dojo, to find Kasumi sitting on the
porch playing with Ranma.  Kasumi smiled as she dangled a piece of yarn
above Ranma.  Ranma playfully swatted at the yarn, as he made purring
noises.  Genma entered behind the girls.

     "Kasumi, you must allow Ranma to fall asleep in your lap!  That will
make him return to normal!"  Kasumi nodded towards Genma.

     Kasumi then ushered Ranma to her lap, where Ranma curled up into a
ball.  But before Ranma went to sleep, he gave Kasumi a cat kiss.  Akane
stifled a scream.  Nabiki's eye openned wide.  Kodachi shook her head and
blushed.  Kasumi laughed, knowing very well that cats were an affectionate
type of animal.  She merely smiled.

     Ranma satisfied with his position, went to sleep.

     No one noticed a purple hair girl leap off the fence, and run off.

* * *

     "So Ranma do you remember kissing anyone?"  Akane looked closely at
Ranma.  

     Ranma was stupified by the question.  "I don't remember kissing anyone
at all!  The last thing I remembered was that tiger!  And then after that,
waking up in Kasumi's lap."  Nabiki shook her head amazed.  'Ranma's telling
the truth!  And I still can't believe it that as a cat he willingly kissed
Kasumi.'