Sebastian Weinberg wrote:

 On Wed, 11 Dec 1996 04:18:54 -0600 Richard Lawson wrote:

: Okay, here's the last part of Magic that I'll post before
: I rewrite what I've written so far and finish the rest of 
: the story.

Ok, so that means we won't see anything new from you for, 
say, at least two hours, right?  :)

Hehehe.  In all likely hood, not until after the first of the year.

: Your C&C has been invaluable.  Things I am going to change:
:
: Nouma will be less perfect.  I think I'll eliminate Cairo 
: and tone down the Mandarin thing a little.

I would leave his tournament victory in, but change it to a less
prestigeous event.  Why not make it an international Martial Arts
championship?  It would be a big event and certainly prove Nouma's
prowess to Ranma and others, but it would lack the publicity
factor, since few non-martial artists would really know about it.
I could easily swallow that instead of an olympic gold medal.

Well, I think I need to cut it back altogether.  The overwhelm majority
of negative C&C has focussed on Nouma being too good to identify with. 
Eliminating the martial arts world championship - in any form - will
help a lot, I think.

Besides, If Nouma's such a wonderful character, wouldn't he have
shunned the fame and attention that is linked to the Olympics?  :P

I did mention that Ranma pushed him into it.  :)

<snip> 

I like the conversation here.  It shows that these people have
grown a lot.  They all have found their own happiness and can
remember their past desires and follies without regrets or
sadness.  Very nice.

Thanks; that was kinda the point, that acts that were despicable and
immature twenty-five years ago were redeemed by love and understanding
(ugh, that sounds melodramatic).  Everyone likes each other now, and can
speak of the past comfortably without fear of giving offense.

No, it wouldn't, and I think that Nouma should be intelligent
enough to realize that Akari did not truly "save the world", but
averted a massive social upheaval.  As it was pointed out during
the C&C on _Interview_, the loss of all livestock would not
threaten humanity's survival at all, and the discovery of plague-
resistant pigs did not solve all the problems it *did* cause.  The
*real* catastrophe was the fact that billions of people out ther
*didn't know this* and really, truly believed that they would
starve.  The resulting riots and whatnot would have been
catastrophic indeed - and that's what Akari averted by her
discovery.  She defused that time-bomb of the mind.

Certainly true points, all.  I was thinking more of "the end of the
world as we know it".  The world would certainly have survived if Akari
hadn't produced a cure, but it probably wouldn't have been a
particularly pleasant place.

: Ranma nodded.  "I think they somehow had their chi 
: drained from them."
:
: Everyone was silent a moment considering this.  Finally
: Mikanma spoke.  "Do you know of a way to shield us from 
: these attacks, Father?"
:
: "Well, it's something I've never come across.

What about Hinako-sensei?  You know, perhaps my very first, 
joking guess wasn't so far off... ;)

That's another thing I'm going to have to change.  This *is* what Hinako
does, on a lesser scale.  So Ranma *has* come across it before. 
Something your comments reminded me of.  (Strunk & White Alert:  ending
with preposition.)

Uh, if that's one *more* technique he wants to show them, what
then is the *first* technique?  I thought they were talking about
this one all along?

At first they talk about a way to shield themselves from the
chi-draining attack.  Then they talk about giving chi to someone who's
lost it.

Um, only that it wasn't supposed to be a spell.  She was
dehydrated - robbed of all water in her body, so that she shrunk
to the size we saw.  Nobody put a spell on her, she just was
unlucky enough to touch the Kinjakan with her bare hands, while it
was magically heating up the water.  And any nitpicker who stands
up to argue that dehydration doesn't work that way, will be Mouko
Takabisha'd into oblivion, where he can explain that Chi blasts
don't really exist to the tall fellow with the hooded robe and
the scythe. :P

Well, I extrapolate here.  Yes, she had her body drained of water, but
the reason for that (I posit) was a magic spell put on the Kinjakan, to
make it act this way if someone like Akane were to touch it.  It seemed
to me to be the only logical way to explain Akane's doll-like existence.

Apart from that I actually liked this retcon.  It's so romantic.
:)

Thanks.  :)

: Nouma shook his head.  "I had hoped to go visit some museums 
: today to try and learn more about the tribe that inhabited 
: that region.  Unfortunately, we no longer have time for that."

How convenient.  :)

All part of someone's master plan.

: "Use the Force, Luke."

Angus:  Hey!  That's my line.

:)  Sorry Angus, this was in the story weeks before you woke up again
from whatever spell Sebastian put you under.

: Something exploded on Nouma's hands and up his arms.  He 
: yelped and fell over backwards, landing among some crates.

Heh, Hand buzzer a la BFG 9000.  :)

Hehehehehe.  :D

: Khu Lon was standing over him in a flash.  "Are you all 
: right, Nouma?"

Aww, please.  I was rooting for them *not* to get together in this
fic.  *That* would be something new.

She's, uh, merely concerned that the leader of the expedition (from her
viewpoint) may be injured.  Yeah.  Yeah, that's it.  :)
 

: Nouma chuckled ruefully.  He had been quite arrogant; he had
: assumed that he could duplicate Ranma's feat without too much
: difficulty.  He recognized that he unconsciously thought 
: himself much better able to learn new techniques than his 
: father.  He was coming to realize that intelligence was no 
: substitute for experience.

Hmmm.  And back at the hotel he said this:

: Nouma licked his lips.  "But Father, I don't have your 
: lifetime of experience.  I gave up on learning chi-attacks
: a few years ago.  How can I learn something as complex as 
: that?"

Was he <gasp> lying?  :)

More that he was being humble and realistic, while at the same time
there was an evil, egotistical part of his mind that was convinced he
could learn these things in a snap.

: Nouma spent a minute admiring the gorgeous scenery.  None
: of these mountains could compare to Mt. Fuji, but there 
: were so many of them that they took his breath away.

Um, I don't think Japan suffers from a lack of mountains.  With
3200 meters they may not be the Himalaya, but the canadian Rockies
aren't that much bigger, I believe.

Oh, you're quite likely right.  I should have realized this myself.

: "Father!  I was not ogling you."
:
: "Could have fooled me."
:
: Nouma snorted.  "Yeah, right.  I can just see myself lying in
: the psychiatrist's office, talking about how I'm sexually 
: attracted to my father's female manifestation.  The Freudians 
: would have a field day."

Waahahaha!  <snicker, chuckle>  That was great.

Thanks.  Ever since I first wrote about Nouma in "The Dying of the
Rose", I wanted to make this observation.  :)

: "That's why you've been trying to teach me that transference
: technique.  You're hoping I can save your life."

He didn't go and tried to teach them - they *asked* him to do so.

They asked him before he could volunteer.  But a good point nonetheless.

: Proactive, rather than reactive.  

Is "Proactive" actually a word?

proactive (pro-�k�t�v) adjective
Acting in advance to deal with an expected difficulty; anticipatory:
"Not reactive, but proactive steps to combat terrorism."

Anyway, I don't think that would work - at least not the way Ranma
thinks it would.  The thing about his role in this world is that
he is the wild card, the last chance - someone who turns up and
saves a situation nobody else could save.  Nouma would certainly
be able to seek out cases where he could lend assistance and would
do a lot of good this way, but Ranma's path led him to places and
people that you wouldn't hear about through the usual channels.  I
don't think that Nouma could duplicate that with mundane means -
he needs the magic to do that.

<whistles tunelessly>  Good analysis, and one I happen to agree with. 
Nouma does, too, if you notice.

Judging from the information in this part, I think there probably
*is* a way to pass on the flame, as it were, without cursing Nouma
anew.  Somewhere later the Chi eater says that it expects to be
able to absorb the curse's magic too, just like it does with chi,
so I speculate that they may be in some way related or at least
vaguely similar.  Now, Ranma said that passing on chi to another
person feels like giving them a part of your soul...  You see what
I am getting at.  It is not entirely unthinkable that there may be
a way to pass on the part of the curse that enables the trouble to
find Nouma, instead of the other way round;  The part that
includes the sense of danger and stuff like that.

<more tunelessly whistling>  nocommentnocommentnocomment

Anyway, let's see what Richard cooks up (I really, *really* have
to stop trying to figure out Richard before he gets to it - on the
other hand, that's half the fun).  :)

<whistiling vociferously>  Fun for who?!  

:D  Just kidding.  I enjoy reading speculations about the plot.

: "She?"
:
: "Plum's the Guide now."

You say "The Guide" as if it was immediately clear who was meant.
Just because there was only one guide in the Ranma 1/2 tales
doesn't mean that everybody there knows right away who is meant by
"The Guide".  Just change that to "the Jusenkyou Guide" and
everything's okay.

I thought the combination of the subject matter, "the Guide", and "Plum"
made it pretty clear which guide it was.

Angus:  Heh, "The Guide... There can only be one!"

See?  What he said.  :)

: Mikanma studied the map carefully, memorizing its
: details, before shutting off the computer and leaving
: it under a tree.  It wouldn't do to have them track 
: her through her computer.

Sebastian:  There is an unknown monster of unpreceded
            dangerousness about that drains people of their chi
            and kills them.

Angus:  What can we do?  [pauses]  I know...

Both together:  *Let's Split Up*!

:D  :D  You really make me laugh, Sebastian.  :)

On a more serious note, part of what I was trying to accomplish with
Mikanma's failed attempt to pass chi to Nouma is that she is capable of
impetuous, dangerous acts.  Like her father at her age, she doesn't
really think things out, just acts.

Really, that was *so* stupid of her.   I mean, hunger for
adventure and need to impress aside, *nobody* could be *that*
dumb.  Doesn't she watch movies?  Jeez.

:)  Every try to tell this to Ranma in the manga?

: The bear roared in pain, turned, and ran away, clearly 
: favoring its front paw.

Conveeeeenient...

Perhaps too much so, neh?  A clue that perhaps Mikanma shouldn't do what
she does next.
 

*Too* convenient, in fact.  Things like that don't *happen* in the
real world, Mikanma - they're staged.

What you just said.  :)

: She would show them.  She would show her brother and her 
: father that she wasn't totally useless.  There was more 
: to her than just martial arts.  She would scout the cave,
: and bring back valuable information, and Father would
: be forced to admit that she was as good as Nouma.
:
: "Or better than Nouma?"

Angus:  Don't talk to yourself, kid.  It's unhealthy.

Sebastian:  She's not talking to *herself* exactly...

Angus:  Even worse.  If you hear disembodied voices in your
        head, even when you take off your walkman, you should call
        a shrink - or at least the National Enquirer.  Talking to
        people who don't exist is just plain bad for you.

Sebastian:  But I am talking to you, too, and it's... Uh, nevermind.

Angus:  That's different, because- Hey!  What are you insinuating?

Sebastian: ...

Angus:  That's *not* funny.

I'm laughing.  :D  Dang, it's good to have Angus back.  :D  :D

A really interesting insight into Ryouga's brain.  You realize, of
course, that all the section with Mikanma and now Ryouga will have
to be told from an omniscient POV, thus breaking your plan of
having Nouma be the narrative center, so to speak.

I said at the beginning (the part you slept through in the intro to Part
1) that it was going to be told mostly from Nouma's viewpoint, with a
couple of exceptions - events that he can't witness and can't be told of
second-hand.  I think there will be at least one and maybe two more
scenes like this, but the rest will be Nouma.

It's good to see Ryouga actually *thinking* about the situation,
instead of blindly falling into Mikanma's machinations.  This is
no stupid teenager anymore.  The fact that the way he chooses
turns out to be a bad choice is not so important to me, as long as
he *did* think about it.

He really didn't have much of a choice but to follow Mikanma. He could
have just sat still and waited, but it didn't occur to him that Mikanma
was leading him into a trap.

: His chi was almost gone, and his ability to think was 
: diminishing as well. Akari filled his eyes.  He apologized
: to her and told her that he loved her.
:
: Then he made his decision.

Which, of course, must remain shrouded in mystery at this time.
:)

Naturally.  :)

Well.  I just hope that someone was monitoring either her or
Ryouga's computer and caught a glimpse of what happened here
(Mikanma leaving and hiding her computer, or her entering of
Ryouga's room).  Back in Japan it should have been daytime, so I
don't think that's too unlikely.

We'll see.  Soon, hopefully.

Hopefully.  :)

Sebastian

As always, I'm grateful for your feedback, Sebastian.


-Richard