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To: kleppe@execpt.com
Subject: Hear's Uma, Epasold 1.
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From: "Stanley R. Teriaca" <teriaca@omnifest.uwm.edu>
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To: kleppe@excpc.com
Subject: Here's Uma, Episode 1.
FORWARDED FROM: /mail/te/teriaca(#57638) From:kleppe@execpc.com(Gary Kleppe)
Hear's Uma, Episode 1.
By Stanley "Quartzite" Teriaca.
Special Thanks to Gary Kleppe for spell-checking, and the FFML
for giving me some info. Domo Aragoto.
Note: Saotome Uma and Hibiki Butaga copyrighted, me, 1996. All
other characters copyrighted Takahashi Rumiko, used without
permission. I am not making money off this, so don't sue.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Any comments? EMail them to teriaca@omnifest.com, or
fanfic@fanfic.com .)
Opening Theme: Mugamuchu No Kokoro, by Shin-Doko.
Butaga (Voice Over): Enter Uma: The Romantic, Disobedient Girl.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(We open to a country road in Japan. It is currently raining lightly.
A young girl with shoulder length black hair, green blouse, black
pants, and soft-soled shoes, carrying a green duffel bag and a black
umbrella, is being chased by two females. They are both in their 30's.
One has shoulder length red hair, tied in a braid, and is wearing a
red blouse and black pants. The other has short black hair, a yellow
blouse, and matching pants.)
Red Haired Woman (angrily): Umasora! Come back here! We said no! [1]
Black Haired Woman: Your father is right. You are too young to be
engaged.
Uma: You should have thought of that before you engaged me.
(Ranma (let's face it, you know who they are by now, in spite of the
age) suddenly rockets towards Uma. It looks like she will overtake
Uma, when Uma jumps over her. She slides down the road, and crashes
into a...panda. Akane starts to run towards Ranma, and Uma does some
more jumps, and is out of sight.)
Uma (leaving): Bye-bye.
Ranma-chan (while picking herself up, and addressing the panda): Was I
ever that difficult, pop?
Genma-panda (via sign): Yes you were, Ranma my boy.
Akane: What now?
Ranma-chan: Well, we both know where she is going, so we might as well
head towards there. (to Genma) Want to come along?
Genma-panda: She is YOUR daughter. You discipline her. Besides
(finally getting up) your mother and I have, um, plans for tonight.
Akane: Plans? That means that my father will have to visit Kasumi and
Tofu for a while.
(Genma-panda nods his head, then skips away.)
Ranma-chan: Lets go then.
(Ranma and Akane leave down the road. The scene changes to a farm. A
young boy with short black hair just finished something and enters a
farm house. He is greeted by Ryouga, and a dog with half of its fur
white, and the other half black. Of course, as is the custom, the boy
removes his shoes.)
Boy: Hi pop.
Ryouga: Butaga, you're home?
Butaga: I'm not like you, you know. I don't get lost so easily.
Ryouga: Are all the chores done?
Butaga: Yes. The pigs are all fed, the fence is mended, and the wallow
is full. So, pop, where are you going?
Ryouga: The bathing room.
Butaga (to the dog): Jogen, go find the bathing area for pop.
(Jogen barks, then takes off. Ryouga follows.)
Butaga (to himself): Sometimes, the way I am with animals is scary.
(Butaga walks into another room, and is greeted by Akari. She is
currently wearing a whitish dress (perhaps off white), and an apron
with little black pigs all about it, and black lettering saying "Erk
Erk".)
Akari: So, are your chores done?
Butaga: Yes, mom.
Akari: Good. Now do the problems on page 250 of your math book.
Butaga: But I did that page yesterday. And it is the last page of the
book.
Akari: Show me.
(Butaga runs off and shows his mom the book, and the fact that, yes,
page 250 is done.)
Akari: Darn. That means I have to order another home schooling math
book from TN Enterprises. What was this one called?
Butaga: Algebra.
Akari: Algebra. I wish I knew a lot about that subject. It would make
grading you easier. Consider today a free day.
Butaga: Ill be in my room. inform me when pop is out of the bathing
room (Butaga walks off).
(A knock is herd on the door, and Akari answers it. Uma steps in.)
Uma (bowing): Is this the Hibiki Pig Farm?
Akari: Yes it is. Who are you?
Uma: Saotome Uma.
Akari (surprised): Is it that time already? Oh, forgive me. Enter and
have some tea.
Uma (while removing her shoes): Aragoto.
(Uma and Akari move to the kitchen, and Akari makes Uma some tea.)
Uma (sipping her tea):Um, good tea.
Akari: I'm glade you like it.
(Jogen wanders in, followed by Ryouga. His hair shines like it was
freshly washed.)
Ryouga: Would you tell Butaga that his bath is ready?
Akari: Of course, dear. (to Uma) Please excuse me. (to Ryouga) This is
Uma, Ranma and Akane's daughter. (steps off screen) Butaga, your bath
is ready!
Ryouga: I could've done that. (to Uma) So, what brings you here?
Uma: My engagement to your son.
Ryouga (confused): Your (pause) Engagement (pause) To (pause) My
(pause) Son? (facefaults. After he recovers...) Who said that?
Uma: My parents.
Ryouga (finally taking control of himself): Are you sure? I thought
Ranma wouldn't let his kids suffer like he did under all those
fiances.
Uma: It was my choice to come here. In fact, they tried to stop me.
Ryouga: And what will you say when they arrive for you?
Uma: I don't know. (changing the subject)Um, Hibiki-san? Can I take a
bath? I am all sweaty from running over here.
Ryouga (forgetting about Butaga): Of course. It is the first door on
the right. Or is it the second door on the left? (to Jogen) You will
take Uma to the bathing room, won't you? (Jogen barks) Just follow
Jogen.
Uma (getting up): Aragoto. (follows Jogen out.)
Ryouga: Now, how do I get out of this room?
(Next we see Uma enter the bathroom, take off her clothing, and enter
the bathing room, JUST as Butaga is climbing out of the bath. Butaga
looks at Uma with surprise, while Uma returns the look with a 'come
hither' look. Butaga starts nose bleeding, and runs out of the room.
Uma enters the bath water.)
Uma (addressing the 4th wall): OK. Now what? We just better go to a
commercial. I hope lover will recover by then. And I didn't even catch
his name. (sighs)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eyecatch: SD Uma, with hearts in her eyes, chases a terrified SD
Butaga. Uma trips over the logo, and cries.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Announcer: Introducing the Tendo 640. The Ultimate gaming machine.
Where else can you play games like...
...Tic-Tac-Toe Combat...
...Aquatranssexual...
...Grimm's Combat Fairy Tails 2: Humpty Dumpty's Revenge...
...Dragon Sticks A...
...And tons of more games we have no time for. So, for the ultimate
in gaming, bug your parents for the Tendo 640.
Fine Print: Joystick, games, mouse, light gun, cartridge port, VCR
tape port, CD rom player, keyboard, cables, Ultimate Nullifier,
batteries, and power jack not included. For a full list of Tendo 640
accessories, send 10,000 yen to the address inside the Tendo 640
Starter Box. Void where prohibited.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eyecatch: SD Butaga helps SD Uma up, then Uma glomps Butaga, and a
giant heart falls onto Butaga's head with the kanji saying "We've
Returned".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----FORWARDER'S COMMENTS:
(Uma is all dressed, and stepts out of the bathroom. Butaga is also all
dressed, and is holding a cloth to his nose. Finaly, his nose stops bleading.)
Uma: So, what is your name?
Butaga: What is your name?
Uma: Saotome Umasora, but eveyone calls me Uma.
Butaga: Hibicki Butaga.
Uma: "Pig fang". Cute.
Butaga: "Sky horse". Cute.
Uma: So, why did you leave the bath?
Butaga: Because I am a gentalman, and you are a girl.
Uma: Gentlemen do not get a nosebleed over the slightest sight of flesh.
Butaga: What was that?
Uma: Oh, nothing.
Butaga: So, now what?
Uma: Do you agree?
Butaga: On what?
Uma: Just answer the question.
Butaga: What was the question?
Uma: I will tell you later. Do you agree?
Butaga (to himself): If I say no, I will never know the question. If I say
yes, she may not let me out of it. Oh well, what do I got to lose. (to Uma)
Yes.
Uma (glomping Butaga): I'm so happy!
Butaga (surprised): What was that for?
Uma: You just agreed to be my futer husban.
Butaga: What?!
Uma (picking Butaga up and starts running): I got to tell your parents you
said yes! I got to tell my parents you said yes! I got to tell the world you
said yes!
Butaga: NO!!!
(The sceen changes. Akarie is cleaning a room when a knock is herd on the
door. She answers it, and enters Saotome Ranma and Akane.)
Ranma-chan: Is my daughter here?
Akarie: Yes she is. Come on in. Thairs a tea kettle siting on the stove. Help
yourself.
(Ranma and Akane enter the kitchen, and Ranma uses the kettle to change. Then
he realises that Ryouga is in the room, opening every door-type thing in order
to leave.)
Ryouga (to himself): Prehapes it is this door? (opens a cabinet door) No. This
one? (opens a pantry door) Food storage. This way? (opens the frige) No.
(grabs an apple) Might as well. (closes the frige door, THEN notices Ranma and
Akane) So, Saotome Ranma, what brings you to this neck of the woods?
Ranma: My daughter. She got it in her head that she is engaged to your son.
Ryouga: And who placed this thought in her head.
Ranma (angerly): It was a joke. I diden't think you would take it sereously.
Ryouga (angerly): I don't even remember saying yes, but then again, YOU were
the one who brought the sake when Butaga was born.
Akane: So, how is P-Chan?
(Ryouga stammers. Then Akarie enters the room.)
Akarie: Oh. P-Chan is dead. He died a few years ago. But he did father a few
litters. In fact, one of his piglits looks exactly like him.
Akane: Fine. I am glad I entrusted P-Chan to you and Ryouga when I married.
Ryouga (whispering to Akarie): I'm dead? Since when?
Akarie (whispering back): Well, do you want to be dead for real when Akane
finds out you were P-Chan all theas years?
Ryouga (whispering in reply): Good choice.
(Just then, the door opens, and Uma runs in and places Butaga in frount of
Ranma and Akane.)
Uma: Isen't he cute?
Ranma: So, this is Butaga.
Butaga: I am.
(Ranma takes a glass of cold water, and pores it over Butaga. Butaga is wet,
angry, but otherwise normal.)
Ranma: Well, no change.
Butaga: Why did you do that for?!
Ranma: I have my reasons.
Uma: He said yes.
Butaga: You never told me the question. Besides, if I knew that I was going to
get engaged to such an uncute girl, I would of said no.
(Uma throws a punch at Butaga, but Ranma grabs her fist.)
Ranma: Watch it. Uma takes after her mother.
(Akane lightly jabs Ranma in the stomic.)
Ryouga: She is your child all right. Runs in to my house like a wild horse,
and basicly makes a mess.
Ranma: Are you saying that my Uma is to good for your Butaga?
Ryouga: Are you saying that my Butaga is to good for your Uma?
Both: That does it! Thay will be engaged, even if it kills me!
(After a small pause, Ranma and Ryouga realise that thay said the same thing,
and shake on it.)
Ryouga: Please take him to your dojo. I have tried to teach Butaga my fighting
style, but he is more interested in books than fighting. And my skills have
faded a bit since maraged.
Ranma: The maried life made you soft? Can't get depresed enouth for a full Shi
Shi Hadoken?
Ryouga: You got it.
Ranma (to Butaga): Pack your things. Your going to be living with us.
Ryouga (to Butaga): Don't worry, son. I will visit from time to time.
Butaga (Voice Over): So, that is how it all beagan. I was on a wild ride from
hear on in. Mabie someday me and Uma will wed happely. And mabie someday my
mom will breed pigs with bird wings.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Butaga (Voice Over): What do you meen I have to go to public school? What? You
know the principal? Why is he sproting bad Shakespear? Next time on Hear's
Uma: First Day Of School. If This Is School, I Hate To See Junkin. Untill next
time.
Closing Theam: Hikizuru Koto Keru No Sakebigoe by Aragontie Kalmon.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[1] Umasora. Uma=horse. Sora=sky. Keeps the pun of both the Tendo and the
Saotome names. And, yes, the full first name is usaly reserved when the
parents are angry at her.
NoContest time: Anyone tell me the pun behind the new Hibiki dog? Thoes who
answer first and corectly will get a NoPrize.
Stan: Boy, that was long. Mabie I should take a week befor doing epasold 2.
(Uma apears and mallets Stan.)
Stan (weakly): ...or mabie not...
Stanley "Quartzite" Teriaca, who will, eventualy do epasold 2.
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