Mousse Lee wrote:

        First off it's nice to see the old cast together even if it appears
to be temporary.  Some I feared wouldn't appear at all.  Interesting how
important some of the people are, I'm pleased to see it's restricted to
extentions of previous TIL stories.  I probably couldn't take it to see
everybody that way, Kodachi is slowly becoming my favorite in this series.

When Sebastian Weinberg wrote his MST3K-style review of "Thy Inward
Love", one of the things he mentioned was how tidy everything was with
Kodachi - carted off to a mental hospital, never to be heard from
again.  I wrote back to him agreeing that it *was* a bit too neat, but
that part of the reason I did that was because I couldn't stand
Kodachi.  It's also why Happosai never appears in any of my stories; I
hate the little twerp.

Sebastian's comment bothered me, though.  His point was valid and was
worth addressing.  Finally, I sat down and wrote "The Dying of the Rose"
to further develop Kodachi.  That story took on a life of its own as I
wrote it (part of it came from my personal experience), and I found it a
lot easier than I thought to write about Kodachi sympathetically.  It
turned into one of my personal favorite stories.  In fact, I found that
I had a bit of a conversion over Kodachi.  I've now taken a liking to
her, even to the point where I root for her when I see her in the
manga.  It's a lot easier to like her if you think of her as the tragic
heroine with the fatal flaw.  :)

That's also why she's so prominently used in the story so far.  I like
her.  :)

I found it a bit odd how little interaction there was between Kodachi and
Kuno, but much of the past 25 years are unknown at this point.

Hmm, well, we can consider such interaction to have taken place
off-screen.  Nabiki, Tatewaki, Tachi, Kodachi, and the rest of their
families *do* all live in the same mansion, something that will be noted
in a later chapter.

Nouma is still bothering me, adding a gold medal to the list?  All
I like about him is his interaction with Kodachi, I still think 
he's over the top.

This is actually a concern of mine, that Nouma is too perfect (you
didn't even mention the fact that he speaks Mandarin on top of
everything else).  All I can say right now is that this plays an
important role in later chapters.

Ryouga's sons... Kouichi appears to be the younger son but his
name would indicate otherwise.  I don't want to see another 
Japanese debate on something but from what I remember names like
that are given to firstborn.

Hmm.  Good point.  It wouldn't take much to reverse the names, although
I'll have to go back and change them in "Interview" as well.  Again, not
a major problem, only that I've built quite a picture in my mind of who
Mitsuaki and Kouichi are, and it's going to be hard to switch the
labels.  :)

The Kuno-speak could use a little work.

Hey ya?  How so?

Kikuko, hard to picture but interesting concept.  Nice name
choice as well.  

Thanks.  Everyone seems to like her name - all of the C&C so far has
mentioned it.  Bell-chan is *such* an overused name for Kasumi's
daughter, I decided to go with a different, albeit related, name.

If she studied under Tofu at all I find it hard to picture her as
using an agressive style, perhaps something along the lines as a 
defensive yet powerful style.

Actually, she's more Ranma's student then Tofu's.  A later chapter will
mention that her speciality is pressure points, something she *did*
learn from Tofu.

About Ukyou's restaurants... add one in Hawaii, it would probably
do real well here.  ^_^

^_^  Not a bad idea, actually.

Nouma shook his head, laughing.  "Don't play the stricken maiden
with me, Auntie.  I think your husband and daughter are just as 
glad to see you as I am."

This confuses me in regard to Kodachi's family?

It just means that Kodachi's gotten married and had a child in the
seventeen years since her release from the hospital.

"All of you here know about my curse."  She looked down at 
herself.  Nouma, of course, didn't think of his father's 
female side as being attractive, but all

What brings this subject up?  Nouma thinking about how he doesn't
consider his father's female side attractive.  

The trigger is Ranma looking down at her own body, which prompts Nouma
to think about that body.

Why 'of course'?

Hmm, time for another story.  Years ago I saw the movie, "Ali Baba and
the Forty Thieves" on television.  It was one of those 50's spectacles,
with lavish sets, predictable plots, horrible dialogue, and mostly bad
acting.  The lead actress, a princess, was beautiful according to
standards of the 50's, and even now.  Her face had a classic beauty. 
Yet, she didn't appeal to me at all.  Not that I found her unattractive,
but she just didn't *do* anything for me.  It took me most of the movie
to realize why - she reminded me an awful lot of my mother.  My mother
had almost exactly the same features.  While I thought my mother was
pretty, at the same time I never thought of her as being attractive in
*that* way.  Same thing for my sisters.

I assumed Nouma would have the same reaction to his parents - that he
wouldn't be attracted to them at all.  

This gets spelled out just a little bit in a joke I make in a later
chapter.

Nouma looked into her eyes, bringing his eyebrows slightly
closer together.  "Enough, Aunt Kodachi."  He had always 
enjoyed bantering with her, but she went too far this time.
He was letting her know that there were some lines she 
shouldn't cross.

What was the line that she crossed?

Kodachi was suggesting that she break up Nouma's mother and father and
marry Ranma herself.  That was going a bit too far for Nouma's taste.

Btw, why is it Tendo Nouma and not Saotome Nouma?

Because, when Ranma and Akane got married and Ranma took over the dojo,
he took the Tendo name as his own.  It hasn't come up so far, but
Ranma's name in this sequel is Tendo Ranma.  This, I'm told, is not
uncommon in Japanese marriages of this sort.

 Anyway, that's about all I have to say for the time being.  
Hope to see more of this in the near future.  

We'll see.  I have an awful lot left to write still.

I'll save the rest of my comments for later chapters... I'd like
to see how things will turn out first.

I would, too.  <sigh>  I think I've got it plotted out, but there are
just a few points I'm unsure about, still, and am hoping the C&C I get
clears it all up.

Mousse

Thanks for the great C&C!

-Richard
sterman@sprynet.com

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