Well, Aaron, this was very nice. However, you failed to justify the
ending to me. I saw it as being horribly out of proportion.
Accessories to the crime are not given as harsh a sentence as those who
actually commit the crime. I just didn't see that the ending was
anything approaching justice.
I'm sorry to say that the ending just spoiled the whole thing for me.
Which is too bad, because I really liked everything up until then. I'm
not sure how to "fix" this, either, because the whole point of the story
was to set up that last scene. You either keep the ending and rewrite
the rest of the story, or change the ending. Neither option
particularly appeals to me, unfortunately.
I will be looking forward to any other stories you produce, however.
You show some promise, I think. :)