FORWARDED FROM: /mail/te/teriaca(#56709) From:kleppe@execpc.com(Gary Kleppe)
     Special Notice: This is a promo for my upcoming series. Read it,
and look forward to it. It IS a 'Ranma 1/2: Next Generation' series,
but beyond that, anything goes. Also, Uma DOES mean horse, and
Ryouga's son is called Butaga. Uma is short for something (perhaps we
will learn what later. Basically, it's like when your mother uses your
full name, INCLUDING YOUR MIDDLE NAME, when she is angry at you. What
fun.).
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     Here's Uma: The Interview (promo).
     by Stanley "Quartzite" Teriaca.
     All characters involved are either copyrighted Rumiko Takahashi,
or are created by myself. No profit has been made, so do not sue me.
Comments? E-Mail to (teriaca@omnifest.uwm.edu) or through the Fanfic
Mailing List (fanfic@fanfic.com)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(We enter a room where a nice looking older man is seated. Next to him
is a young girl with straight black hair, a red blouse, and a black
skirt. Next to her is a boy in a yellow shirt with the kanji for
"Hibiki Pig Farm" on it, and black pants. The boy looks uneasy.)

Interviewer: Welcome. We are proud to present an interview with the
stars of the new fanfic series called Here's Uma. So, without further
ado, here's Saotome Uma...

Uma (the girl in the red blouse): Hello.

Interviewer: And Hibiki Butaga.

Butaga (obviously the boy) (*taps the mike pinned to him*): Um, is
this thing on?

Uma: Don't worry, koibito, we are only going to be talked to by one
person. [1]

Butaga: But we will be read by everyone. Do you know how many people
are on the Fanfic Mailing List?

Uma: Don't forget rec.arts.anime.creative also.

(Butaga faints)

Interviewer: Will he be fine?

Uma: Don't worry. Since he is a country boy, he is not used to being
in front of so many people. He will be fine.

Interviewer: Let us begin. So, Uma-chan (is it ok to call you
Uma-chan?), it says in my notes that your parents are Saotome Ranma
and Saotome Akane, right?

Uma: Yep.

Interviewer: So, who is this girl in the photo with your mother?

Uma: My father.

Interviewer: Is it? If it is, he must be a professional transvestite,
for I was convinced that he was a woman.

Uma: Um, my father IS a woman, sometimes...

Interviewer: Sometimes?

Uma: The Jusenkyo Curse. It is a long story. Much too long for the
interview time.

Interviewer: So, is there anything else we should know about you?

Uma: They say I inherited my father's stubbornness, my mother's anger,
and my grandfather's love for food. But, if there's one trait I would
love people to remember me by, I would pick my romantic heart.

Interviewer: It says here that your father knows martial arts. Do you
know martial arts as well?

Uma: No. But I do know bugei. Saotome Rei Nandemo Bugei. [2]

Interviewer: I thought it was the Saotome School of Indiscriminate
Grappling?

Uma (sweat drops): Um, yeah, well, it still is. But it is just too
much to say. Why did pop choose that name in the first place?

(Butaga wakes up, and starts to leave)

Interviewer: Where are YOU going?

Butaga: Well, since you're busy interviewing Uma-chan, I thought I
could wait outside.

Interviewer: I have to talk to you also. You ARE her boyfriend.

Butaga: Not by my choice.

Uma (angrily): Your choice? Ha! I picked you, and you are stuck with
me, lover.

Butaga: Well, it didn't help that your old man and my old man got
together and decided to get us engaged when we were born.

Uma: You can't fight fate.

Butaga: Your father brought the sake. Not mine.

Interviewer: Amazing how salmon can make people forget.

Uma: Especially when followed by rice wine. [3]

Butaga: I'm leaving.

Interviewer: But won't you get lost?

Butaga: I'm not my father. Besides, he cured the Hibiki Bloodline
Curse before I was born. (looks at Uma) I just wish he would have
hitched me up with a cute girl instead of you.

(Uma picks up a table, and clobbers Butaga)

Interviewer (recovering from that display of violence): Well, we are
out of time. Tune in tomorrow when we will have on Takahashi Rumiko,
and The Brothers Brothers. Thank you, and keep safe.
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[1]: koibito = lover, darling, or boy/girlfriend.

[2]: Bugai is Japanese for Martial Arts, if you did not know.

[3]: Salmon and Rice Wine is both known as Sake (although with
different kanji, they're both romanized the same). Coincidence? I
think not.

     Suddenly, a shape appears and taps Stan on the shoulder. Stan
looks, and Uma appears.

Uma: Um, Stan-kun, you better get busy and start writing the first
Here's Uma fanfic, or else.

Stan: Right away.

Stan "Quartzite" Teriaca (who will release the first Here's Uma fanfic
soon. Very Soon. Really.)


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