Dark Streamline A.D. Viz-ion Image Entertainment presents...
A "Not-Bloody-Likely" Production
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-----------THE GREAT ANIME CROSSOVER FROM HELL!!!-----------
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by Erin "So what if my grammar and spelling's atrocious?!" Mills
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With apologies to the creators of all characters herein
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Episode 2: Law vs. Justice--What Do You Mean They're Not the Same Thing?!
The phone was ringing in Aaron Miller's house. It continued to ring
and Aaron, half asleep on the couch, concluded that exactly this much was
all right with the world.
The day before was a mess. After what seemed to be the start of a
great Spring Break, Aaron received the surprise of his life.
Namely, the appearance of one Ranma Saotome and one Akane Tendo, the
stars of the anime/manga series "Ranma 1/2." Normally, Aaron might have
been delighted to see the two of them, if it wasn't for the fact that they
weren't supposed to exist in the real world.
Things went from bad to worse when two other "Ranma" characters, Ryouga
Hibiki and Ukyou Kuonji, were arrested by Washington D.C.'s finest and had
to be bailed out.
Then came the really hard part...
"Welcome to my humble abode," Aaron said, unlocking the front door of
the house he shared with four other people. The four fictional entities
looked around.
"Nice place," said Ranma. "You pay to live here--UGH!"
"It's very nice," Akane said, removing her fist from Ranma's face.
"And it's got a HUGE kitchen," Ukyou said, spying the room in
question.
"Yep, this place has it all," Aaron said. Then he noticed Ryouga
looking around uncomfortably. "Something wrong, Ryouga?"
"Uh-" Ryouga began, "Where's the--?"
"Oh, down the hall, third door on the right."
Ryouga nodded and started down the hall.
"Make yourselves at home," Aaron said. "I have to go make a few
arrangements."
<Like cleaning my room so somebody can use it,> Aaron finished
silently.
Ranma, Akane and Ukyou wandered into the living room. It had the usual
accoutrements of a college student's house. Used furniture, a few pictures
that had been on the walls for god-knew-how-long. The only truly nice
things in the room were a mahogany shelf housing a mess of videocassettes
(mostly anime) and an entertainment set-up that must've cost about a couple
thousand dollars.
"Boy," said Ranma, sitting on the couch. "This guy takes his
entertainment seriously."
Akane sank into a chair. "Who cares?" she said, "I'm just glad to
finally sit down, and relax after this crazy day."
"You said it." Ukyou piped up, unslinging her combat spatula and
leaning it up against the wall, before flopping into the chair next to the
video shelf. "Finding yourself in America, defending your life and getting
arrested all in one day is just a bit too much..."
"No kidding," said Ranma. "What I want to know is, what did that loon
back there mean when he called us fictional characters?"
"Stop calling him a loon," Akane said, frowning. "If it wasn't for
Aaron, we'd probably all be in jail tonight, without anyone to bail us
out, or out on the street somewhere."
"That still doesn't explain what he meant by `fictional characters',"
Ranma replied.
An object came sailing at him. Ranma caught it one handed and glared
at Ukyou, who had thrown it.
"This is what he meant," she said. Ranma looked down at the video
cassette with the words "Ranma 1/2: TV Series Vol. 1" printed across the
top of the box.
There had followed a very long night of explanations and Ryouga
searching. (They finally found him in the attic, buried under a few dozen
boxes.) When Aaron had finally convinced the four of them that this wasn't
some big practical joke, they decided to turn in. Ukyou and Akane shared
Aaron's room, while Aaron, Ranma and Ryouga made camp in the living room.
Just before going to sleep, however, Ranma and Ryouga had a little
discussion with Aaron...
"You know about our little secrets, right?" Ranma asked, holding a
fist under Aaron's nose.
"Yes," Aaron replied.
"And you're going to keep my secret from Akane, yes?" Ryouga said,
holding the tip of his umbrella against Aaron's throat.
"Of course I am!" Aaron snapped. "I'm not a complete idiot!"
"Just so we understand each other," said Ryouga, lowering the umbrella,
and stretching out on the floor.
<Christ,> Aaron thought, <I'm never going to Nerima...>
Which brings us back to the phone. Aaron's hand, moving under it's own
power, with no help from the brain at all, picked up the receiver and
placed it in the general area of his mouth and ear.
"Grxzwahsadh, wha happened?"
"MILLER!" Lt. Mallory's voice brought Aaron six steps closer to
wakefulness.
"Lieutenant! How nice to hear your charming voice at," he checked his
watch, "4:30 in the morning. To what do I owe this early morning call?"
"Is that Kuonji dame at your place?"
"Excuse me a moment..." Aaron walked down the hall and knocked on the
door of his bedroom.
"What is it?" Akane asked sleepily, opening the door. Aaron was too
tired to notice that Akane was wearing his pyjamas.
"Is Ukyou in there?"
"Yes, why?"
"Oh nothing, just the esteemed Lt. Mallory's on the phone, wondering
where she is. Nothing to worry about. Sorry to wake you up."
Aaron walked back to the living room and picked up the phone.
"Yes, Miss Ukyou Kuonji is here and sleeping soundly in my bedroom."
"Why, Miller, you cradle-robber!"
"Cut the crap, Chuck, it's too early. I'm sleeping on the couch, by
the way. Why'd you want to know where she was?"
"Because somebody just sent a severed head to the front desk here, and
the cut looks similar to the ones Kuonji inflicted with those spatulas of
hers on the lowlifes in Lafayette Park."
"Fascinating. Why're you telling me this?"
"Because the desk sergeant says the woman who delivered the thing was
Asian. I thought she might have been another one of your friends."
"Description, please." Aaron yawned.
"Young girl, short black hair, kinda small, dressed in a black
body-suit, tan trench-coat, pink knee-length boots, and black fingerless
gloves." Mallory rattled off.
"Doesn't sound familiar. Sorry, Chuck. Good night." Aaron hung up
before Mallory could reply.
God, Mallory could be a pain sometimes. Help a few fictional
characters who happen to be Japanese out and Mallory thinks every Asian
suspect is connected to you.
Aaron flopped down in the chair next to the video shelf. His eyes idly
wandered over the videos. Something caught his attention. Realisation cut
through the fog in his brain and he grabbed the case he was staring at.
On the cover was a girl who looked exactly like the one Mallory had
described. The title on the case was 'Battle Angel'.
"Oh, shit." Aaron said. "Gally!"
* * * * *
"Explain to me again exactly what we're doing out here," said Ranma.
Aaron handed a translated manga over to him.
"She's called Battle Angel Alita here, but her real name is Gally.
She's a cyborg, and currently the most dangerous person in D.C."
"Why?" asked Ukyou.
"Check out page 147."
The "Ranma" regulars did. Page 147 showed Gally removing the head of a
cyborg at least ten times larger than herself.
"Jeez," said Ranma, eyes wide.
"To say the least," Aaron said. "She's from a world where there is no
police. An entity known as the Factory puts a bounty on the heads of
wanted criminals and lets freelance bounty hunters like Gally do the dirty
work. Gally doesn't do it for the money though, she does it to regain her
lost memory.
"Anyway, My guess is that she took out some punk tonight, and took the
head to the authorities. Unfortunately, that turned out to be Mallory's
precinct."
"And we figure into this, how?" Ranma asked.
"We've got to find Gally first and get her off the street before she
sends another head to Mallory. Because if he tries to arrest her, I don't
want to think about what's going to happen."
* * * * *
The junkie ran down the alley, carrying a Toshiba television. You
didn't see many of these anymore. Big Louie had to give him at least a
hundred for it. He was gonna be rolling in the fix tonight!
The junkie was so caught up in his fantasy, he didn't notice the small
figure at the other end of the alley until he was almost on top of her.
"That does not belong to you," she said, pointing at the television.
The junkie looked down at the small girl.
"No shit, get outta my way, bitch, or I'm gonna make you move." He
pulled out a switchblade.
Gally smiled. The quiet predatory smile all hunters have.
"Come on, then," she said. The junkie blinked.
"You one super freaky psycho bitch," he said as he brought the knife
in to stab her.
The blade bent on Gally's metal body. The junkie stared at his bent
knife in disbelief.
"My turn," said Gally as she unsheathed her Bowie knife with the six-
inch blade.
The junkie's screams echoed down the alley.
* * * * *
"What was that?" Akane asked suddenly. The other members of the search
party strained to listen. Another faint scream could be heard.
"It came from over there!" said Ukyou, pointing west.
"Let's go, then," Ryouga said, running off to the east before anyone
could stop him.
"Shit," Aaron cursed. "Ranma, Akane, go after him. Ukyou, come with
me."
"Aren't you going to need backup?" Ranma asked.
"That's what Ukyou's for," Aaron replied. "Hopefully, I can talk Gally
out of doing anything stupid before Mallory and the cops show up. Get
Ryouga and catch up with us. If you see any police cars or hear any sirens,
head back to the house. Get going."
The four teenagers split up.
* * * * *
"Gally!"
She looked up, wondering who had called her name. Coming toward her
was a young man in a black leather jacket, and a slightly younger woman
with some sort of large metal weapon strapped to her back.
Gally stood up, knife at the ready.
"Who are you?" she asked.
"We're friends," said Ukyou. "Don't kill that man."
"He's a criminal," Gally replied. "He stole something that doesn't
belong to him."
"Yes, but this isn't Scrap Iron City," said Aaron. "This is a city
called Washington, D.C. We have police to do your job."
"No," said Gally, "Police don't exist anymore."
"Dammit, Gally," Aaron said, "Just trust us. There'll be time to
explain later. Right now, all three of us are caught up in something very
strange, and it will be harder to find out if your sitting behind bars in
a jail cell."
"He's telling the truth, Gally," Ukyou said, "My friends and I aren't
from here, but Aaron's managed to help us. Trust us, please. The man
coming after you isn't very nice."
"Let me get this straight," said Gally, "You expect me to trust two
complete strangers who just happen to show up when I'm about to do my job,
who claim I'm about to become the very same type of person I've been vowed
to eliminate just on their say so?"
"I know it's crazy," Aaron said, "But if you don't come with us now,
there won't be any time to explain because we'll all be looking at a
charge of first degree murder--" The sound of sirens interrupted him.
"--In about thirty seconds," he finished.
Gally stared at the two newcomers. She didn't know what to think. Ever
since she found herself in this strange city, she'd been doing her job.
But could her job actually be the wrong thing to do in this situation?
These two certainly seemed to think so, and from what Ido had told her of
"police", the charge of murder was very serious.
Yet, the doubts remained.
"I cannot go with you," she said. "But I would like to find out more
about where I am and why I'm here. I will spare this man's life until I
understand what is going on."
"Great," said Aaron. Then he got a flash of inspiration.
"Gally, in this city there is a tall structure that looks like this."
Aaron used some of the junkie's blood to draw a crude sketch of the
Washington Monument on the wall of the alley.
"Meet us there in about two hours, and we'll tell you anything you
want to know."
"All right, but who are you?"
"I'm Aaron Miller and this is Ukyou Kuonji. We'll be bringing some
friends."
"Very well, Mr. Miller. I will meet you and your friends there in two
hours." With that, Gally leaped to a fire escape and rapidly climbed to
the roof. Then she was gone.
"Let's get out of here," said Aaron, wiping the blood off the wall
with his hand. He and Ukyou ran back the way they came.
* * * * *
In his lair, the Man in the Black Cloak laughed. Bringing Gally over
was the best thing he had ever done. Admittedly, the American had
interfered, but maybe that was all for the better.
Regardless, Gally's innate Hunter-Warrior nature was sure to cause
havoc in the real world. But it was time to up the ante.
The Man in the Black Cloak let his mind wander through all the
possible worlds, finally getting an image of a tall, thin man with a
mischievous nature, his attractive female companion and his worst
adversary, an obsessed man dressed in a trench-coat and hat.
"Oh yes," the Man in the Black Cloak said, "They will do nicely."
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Next time on "The Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!":
Aaron: We've finally got Gally on our side. But Mallory's slowly
putting the pieces together. Lucky for us, a certain international thief
has just shown up, bringing his obsessed nemesis with him.
(Cut to a shot of Mallory and Inspector Zenigata arguing while our heroes
hop a bus.)
Aaron: Unfortunately, our thief has his eye on the Smithsonian.
(Cut to Lupin III stealing a HUGE diamond.)
Aaron: Next time on "The Great Anime Crossover From Hell!!!"---
"Faith, Hope Diamond, and Charity!"
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Brought to you by the diseased mind of
Erin Mills (Member in semi-good standing of the OAA)
Mill0622@badger.snow.edu
DETAILED flames, comments, questions and incoherent ramblings
accepted.