On Fri, 29 Nov 1996 10:26:51 -0600 (CST) Matthew Trotter said:
: Most of the characters in this fic belong to Rumico Tahakashi[1],
: [1] or Rukiko Takahashi if you read the C&C for the last couple of stories...
Uh. Closer, Matthew. Closer but not *quite*. :)
: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
: Escape From Nerima
: --------------------------
: Part eight: On Through The Night
: --------------------------
: Not that this long non-sequester had
: much bearing on the story,
I think you mean "non-sequitur" here.
: [1] I can't believe your thinking that! This isn't that kind of a story.
"you're" And I wasn't thinking *that*. At least not before I
looked down the text for this footnote - *then* I was expecting
some kind of hentai comment.
: For the shear convenience to the plot, the ski lift had still been
: working.
"sheer"
: Akane always got made at girl-type Ranma.
"got mad"?
Good cliffhanger at the end. Brrr.
You use a lot of periods to indicate pauses in the speech. How
about a few dashes here and there instead?
What I really disliked was the constant breaking of the fourth
wall. This can be very funny, when used right, but in this
context, it yanks me right out of the story, when I *should* get
involved. It ruins the mood, which is pretty serious in places,
after all.
Sebastian