Magical Girl Fanfic Theater By Peter L. Ward Starring: - Miyakawa Mika as Exquisite Soldier Lovely Freesia - Toriyama Akiko as Exquisite Soldier Crimson Rose - Mura Natsumi as Exquisite Soldier Golden Poppy - Ferris as Exquisite Soldier Pretty Daisy - Takara Akira as Exquisite Soldier Wild Orchid - and Penko as herself Tonight's Feature Presentation: Eleventh Night - A Tale of El Hazard by Chris Davies [The lights come up in the theater and we see Akira, Natsumi, Mika, Akiko, and Ferris seated in that order. Penko is in her usual spot in Mika's lap.] [Mika] Hello everyone! I'm Miyakawa Mika and welcome to Magical Girl Fanfic Theater! [Ferris, infuriated] And I demand an apology for last time! [Mika, looking innocent] You mean when we left you in the Space Gopher's tender care? [Ferris] Dammit! That was uncalled for, and you know it! [Mika, now with a hard look on her face] Just like your attack on Akira earlier that evening. [Ferris, now looking stung] But, but, but... [Mika] If there's any apologies that need to be said, you need to say them to Akira. I don't care if you have a personal or racial problem with homosexuals. Your race has had over forty years to get over their hangups on that subject. It's no excuse to attack a teammate, and like it or not, Akira is a teammate. Now apologize, Ferris. [Ferris, grumbling] Alright, alright already! Sorry for attacking you last time, Akira. I shouldn't have done it. I may not like you, but that's no excuse for what I did. [Akira, smiling] Apology accepted, Ferris. I hope you at least get used to me being around. By the way, how did things turn out between you and that Gopher fellow? [Ferris] Well, the little creep did manage to cop a few feels here and there until he made the mistake of loosening the ropes you guys used to tie me down with. [Akiko] Let me guess. You tore him apart, right? [Ferris, grinning] Naaah. He may have been more than a bit clumsy with his hands, but he did get me worked up a bit. So I tried to return the favor. Pity he didn't last more than a few minutes under *my* tender mercies. Guess he just couldn't handle a myanaran... [All four of the other Exquisite Soldiers look at Ferris oddly along with Penko, then shrug.] [Mika] Anyway...tonight's feature is "Eleventh Night: a Tale of El Hazard" by one of our favorite authors, Chris Davies. This'll be a nice change of pace from his usual Sailor Moon stories. Good thing we weren't assigned to review all of "Best of All the Years", though! [Akiko] I'll say. We would've been here a week reviewing that work in its entirety. By the way, did we get the fourth chapter in his "New Adventures of Serena and Luna" series? [Mika] Just came down the pike a few days ago, but we got this story first. Now, on with the show! ----- Eleventh Night: A Tale of El-Hazard. Shayla-shayla, the youngest of the three Chief Priestesses of the Muldoon Temple, woke up groggily as she became aware that someone was crawling into her bed. Since there was absolutely no way that the one person she wanted to come to her bed was going to do so, it was rather likely that it was someone else, and Shayla was relatively sure of that person's identity. "Alielle," Shayla muttered in a sleep-thick voice, "get the heck out of my bed. I've told you before, I'm not "that way", got it?" ----- [Ferris] Now, if it were me in Shayla-Shayla's place, I would've clawed some sense into the little perv. [Mika] Now, now, Ferris. Enough of that. As you'll see, it's definitely not called for. [Akiko] At any rate, the quote marks around "that way" should be changed to apostrophes to indicate that they are part of the line being said. Otherwise, it reads as if Shayla-Shayla was saying "I'm not...got it?" ----- The small figure who had laid down in Shayla's bed said nothing. Nor did she move. "Have you gone deaf or something?" Shayla yelled, and pushed at the little body. It moved, but not out of the bed. Shayla was about to get up and bodily eject Alielle from her chamber when she realized that something was not right. Her hand, the one that she had shoved Alielle with, was wet. But whatever the liquid was, it wasn't as clammy as sweat. Shayla raised her hand to her nose, and sniffed. Her hand smelled of blood. Shayla-shayla instinctively ignited the lamps in her room, and yanked away the covers that Alielle had wrapped herself in. The small, purple-haired imp was naked, and her back was a mess of blood and welts ... as from a ... "Oh ye immortal gods ..." Shayla whispered. ----- [Ferris] Aw, geez... [Mika] Told ya. [Natsumi, trembling] Mika? Akiko? What happened to Alielle? Why is she all hurt like that? [Akiko] Keep watching and find out. ----- Some time therafter, as Shayla washed and bandaged the girl's injuries, the wall of silence that Alielle had erected became too much to endure. "Will you please tell me what the hell happened?" she asked. Alielle remained mute as a stone, except for her occasional whimpering noises whenever Shayla touched the wounds on her back. "Please, Alielle ... I want to know who did this to you ..." So I can beat the living CRAP out of her ... ----- [Ferris] Get in line. I'm still wanting to skin that bitch alive for abusing poor Ura like she did in El Hazard #7. ----- Alielle just shook her head. "Come on, Alielle, it's me, Shayla-oneesama, remember? You like me. You like everybody, or at least every reasonably attractive female of the same species, but you really like me. Can't you trust me?" ----- [Mika] You know, if the circumstances were different, this would be pretty damn funny.... [Akiko] Well, you do need some bits of humor in situations like this to try to keep someone's spirits up. ----- At the very least, this got a reaction out of her. Alielle appeared to consider this statement. For a moment, she looked like she was about to start crying ... then she shook her head, and whispered, "Would it be okay if I slept here tonight, Shayla-sama?" Not "oneesama". Just a respectful honorific. Shayla felt herself wither a little inside, even as she nodded. What am I gonna do? Shayla-shayla thought as she wandered aimlessly through the Palace that morning. This is not the sort of thing that they teach you to deal with when you sign up to become a warrior-priestess! The Temple of Mount Muldoon had been set up as a refuge for women across El-Hazard, and Shayla was pretty sure that at least some of her "sisters" had experienced the sort of thing that Alielle had gone through ... although more probably with *men*, although that failed to make the situation seem any better. Worse, probably. ----- [Akiko] You know, I've noticed that Mr. Davies tends to take a few liberties with story continuity in his fanfics. It's unavoidable due to the nature of fanfics, but this has very little support from the OAVs. [Mika] True, but it is an interesting supposition, you have to admit that. ----- The only strategy I've got for this sort of thing is to burn Fatora to a crisp! But I don't think that would really improve matters ... I need help. Meez is busy trying to get married to Fujisawa-sensei, or I'd ask her what to do ... this is probably her department after all. I could ask Afura ... if not for the fact that I'd rather eat glass than admit to any kind of incapacity to her. How am I gonna get Alielle to open up to me? I'm a warrior, not a counselor! ----- [Akiko] That should be "Miz", not "Meez". They're pronounced the same, though. [Mika] Yep. It's especially interesting since the Japanese word for "water" is "mizu". A nice little word play there. ----- Shayla had made several attempts to interrupt Nanami's monologue, and had finally been reduced to staring at her, feeling her face get redder and redder in mixed anger and embarrassment ... until finally, she shrieked, "YOU IDIOT! This isn't about me and Makoto! This is about me and Alielle!" Nanami stared, wide-eyed, at Shayla for several moments, her mouth moving silently. "Oh," she said at last. "You finally let her seduce you, huh?" Shayla collapsed to the floor, slamming her face into the ground a few times, before springing back up. "No, you ... you ... bakayarou!" she finished, using that Earther expression she'd heard all three of them use at various times. "I don't have time to explain it to you! Get your head out of the gutter, dammit!" ----- [Akira] Actually, she's quite familiar with the word. [Mika] I see that lending you that CD did some good, Akira. [Akira] Yeah. I didn't know your folks were into collecting old recordings like that first El Hazard soundtrack. If there was any doubt about how foul Shayla-Shayla's mouth is, that CD cleared it up. She certainly loved calling Makoto a "bakayarou". [Mika] And I won't go into the image song she sings on that CD. I didn't know that she could cuss in both Japanese and English... [Natsumi] What? What? What did she say? [Penko] We won't repeat it here, child. After all, this is supposed to be a family show and such language would not be appropriate. Besides, judging from your grades in English class, I doubt you'd understand the meaning behind the words in question. [Natsumi] Oh. ----- Finally, she caught up to Makoto as he was standing in the Palace gardens, staring up at the Eye of God. Of course, where else would he wind up, she thought savagely, then got her temper under control with difficulty. "Makoto ... -san?" she said, quietly. He turned, a bit startled. "Oh ... good morning, Shayla-shayla. How are you?" "I'm fine ... but I have a little problem." "Oh? Anything I can help you with? Right now, I'd do just about anything to be useful to somebody ..." he finished, suddenly sounding bitter. So she explained to him what had happened the previous night. He was shocked and stunned. "I knew that Fatora was nasty, but to beat someone who's as dedicated to her as Alielle ... that's terrible!" "I have a funny feeling that it went a little further than a beating, Makoto." She shared her suspicions with him. Makoto was now outraged. "That's horrible! That's worse than Galus! That's worse than Jinnai!" "So ... will you help me talk to Alielle?" she asked, hopefully. Makoto suddenly seemed to shrink in on himself. "I ... I'm sorry, Shayla, but I'm kind of busy ... maybe if you talk to the Princess ..." "No, dammit, you're not busy! You just said that you'd do anything to be useful to somebody! Be useful to Alielle!" "But ..." "Your attitude sucks wind, Makoto! For the past three days, all you've been doing is wandering around in a funk, staring up at the Eye of God, and leafing through old books! Your obsession with Ifurita is really starting to piss everybody off! We realize that you're in love with her, even though I don't see anything lovable about that ... thing!" "That's not fair!" Makoto shouted. "She helped save the world!" "Before which she wreaked havoc across El-Hazard, including the destruction of a city and all its populace! Makoto, just because she turned good at the end doesn't wipe away the horrible things she did, now and in the ancient times! Don't you understand that?" "Yes," Makoto said softly. "I understand what she was ... more than any other being in the universe could, Shayla ..." "That link of yours ..." she muttered. "Yeah, maybe your power was what let you open her heart ... but it was your compassion that made her fall in love with you!" Just like me ... she thought, as she turned away. "And that compassion hasn't been in evidence a lot lately ..." Makoto stared at her as she stalked away. Before she stepped out of the gardens, she turned to look at him once more, with a strangely pitying expression. "Think about it Makoto: if you keep on this way, if you find Ifurita ... there may not be anything left of the man she loves." And then she left. ----- [Ferris] Ouch! That had to hurt. [Mika] No kidding. Chris Davies is good at setting up confrontational scenes like these. It's also a good way of showing the emotional aftermath of what happened at the Eye of God. ----- Makoto turned back to gaze at the Eye of God. They don't understand. None of them. It wasn't just a "one-way" link. In pouring all my humanity into her, I had to accept some of her ... coldness. It hurts. How many thousands of lives had she snuffed out in the ancient war? Even she hadn't known, but it had begun to wear on her. Her makers had never intended for their creation to develop a soul, let alone a conscience ... but she had. She hadn't known that that was what it was, of course; she'd thought it was only weariness ... not the guilt and shame that it actually was. And the loneliness ... So alone ... ----- [Akiko] Again, a good passage here. In the OAVs, we only got a sense of emptiness in Ifurita whenever we get to see her flashbacks. However, here, we get to see just how deep the impact of what she was doing was. [Mika] Not only that, but it really deepens the meaning of what Makoto did for her. All she could give him were memories of devastation and the shame involved, yet he gave her freedom from Jinnai and his ilk. ----- When Shayla came back to her room after her unsuccessful talk with Makoto, she found Alielle curled up on the windowsill, staring at the clouds. Again she felt the surge of anger when she looked at the wounds on the girl's back. Gods. What kind of monster would do such a thing? But since the anger wouldn't help matters, she beat it down (not easy, for one so used to letting her rage have reign over her thoughts), and tried to draw Alielle out of her shell once more. She stuck to safe, nice topics, but no matter what she said, Alielle only replied in monosyllables, if at all. It was one of the most frustrating things she'd ever experienced. ----- [Akiko] Getting someone to talk when they're not quite ready to can be pretty tough. I should know. [Mika] Oh? [Akiko, giving Mika a meaningful look] Let's just say that I've had firsthand experience from trying to help you with some difficult situations when we were younger. [Mika] That's true...thanks, "oneesama". [Akiko] Don't mention it. [Ferris, rolling her eyes] I think I'm gonna puke.... [Mika, crossly] Oh, shut up catgirl... ----- After a while, she heard a knock at the door. She went and answered it. "Hi," said Makoto. "I'd like to talk with Alielle?" Shayla blinked, and stared at him for a few moments, before she stammered out an affirmative, and stood aside to let him in. "Hi, Alielle-chan! How are you today?" Alielle turned to give Makoto a weary smile, and her eyes bugged out and jaw dropped. It had been, Shayla mused, something of a shock to see him in his old disguise as Fatora, complete with wig and flower in his hair. He hadn't worn it since that night that Galus had exposed his identity, as there really hadn't been a need ... but nonetheless, he was a remarkably beautiful woman ... "Makoto-chan!" Alielle gasped out. "You shouldn't be wearing that! Fatora-sama will be ..." "Angry?" he asked. He gave it some thought. "You're right. It was just a bit of nostalgia, I guess." He took off the wig, and pulled a chair up to the window. "Fatora-sama can get pretty mean sometimes, when she's angry, can't she?" Shayla-shayla began to slip outside the door. "Well ... only a little ..." Alielle answered, almost whispering. "That's okay, Alielle-chan ... I know what it's like to have someone you love angry at you." "You do?" Shayla stood outside the door, not wanting to listen in on the conversation, but not wanting to leave them unsupervised either. "Oh yes. Ifurita was terribly angry with me the first time I synchronized with her, remember?" "Well, yes ..." And so they talked. And in the fullness of time, Alielle admitted that what Shayla had believed had gone on between her and the Princess had actually taken place ... although she assured Makoto that it had been all her fault, and that it would never happen again. Makoto gently pointed out that even once had been a very bad thing. By the end of their talk, Alielle was crying into Makoto's robes, and neither Makoto's nor Shayla's eyes were dry ... ----- [Akira] You know, this was pretty well-handled. No real need to go into the gory details here. Just imply what happened the night before and tell how Makoto handled things. A bit risky on his part when it came to dressing up like Fatora again, though. [Natsumi, bawling rivers of tears] Waaaaaaaahhhh!!! I just can't help myself! I get soooo emotional over scenes like this!!! [Mika, annoyed] Like we couldn't have guessed, you ditz. As well-handled as the rest of the story was, the wrap-up that we're about to see was pretty disappointing. ----- Some time later, Makoto paid a visit to Princess Rune Venus. Not long after that, he and the Princess paid a visit to the younger Princess Fatora. While there was never any public admission of wrongdoing on the Princess' part, Makoto was reasonably sure that fear of exposure would keep her in her place. (There are some things that even royalty can't do to a servant, even one engaged as a houri, and expect to not face public censure.) Alielle was upset that she had to leave Fatora's chambers, but she adjusted well to living with Makoto. Of course she had no intention of spending much time sleeping there. She made that quite clear the next night when she tried to sneak into Shayla-shayla's bedchamber ... In a way, Shayla was relieved when that happened, and there was a small smile on her face as she yelled and bodily ejected the little sex maniac from her room. It was, she reasoned, not unlike Afura's insults ... she'd miss them if they stopped. Besides, Alielle's residence gave her a great excuse to visit Makoto ... at night. The End (For Now) ----- [Akiko] Yes, this is pretty disappointing, especially coming from Mr. Davies. [Ferris] You said it! Where's the final confrontation? I wanted to see them chew that spoiled bitch out at the very least! Why don't we get to see that?!? [Mika] Calm down, Ferris. While we do get the gist of what probably happened, it wouldn't have hurt to spend a little more time with this part of the story and flesh it out some. [Akira] I get the distinct feeling that the author was starting to get tired of writing the story and just quickly wrapped it up to be done with it. Not neccessarily sick of it, mind you. Just tired and wanting to bring the story to an end sooner. Too bad, really. Any story would suffer if it were put through that. [Akiko] On the plus side, the part about Alielle moving in with Makoto and sneaking off to Shayla-Shayla was pretty good. Overall, the story could have been a bit better given a more involved ending. [Mika] I'll agree with that. I guess this brings our show to a close. Good night, everybody!