On Sat, 30 Nov 1996 11:09:49 -0800, you wrote:


Re: "Under The Hammer"  Chapter One of Three.
By Henry J. Cobb <hcobb@slip.net>

I think that this has the potential to be a great story. The problem
with it IMO is that you need to do a better job of conveying Akane's
pain and sorrow. Not only is Ranma dead, but it's HER fault. Her grief
and guilt ought to have been _incredible_, and I don't feel this came
across to the degree that it should have.

Gary

Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe