The Koi On Her Breast
by Rumiko Takahashi
Novelized by Richard Lawson
<Hmm. Another typical pastry. I've bought this back-scratcher before.>
I sighed as I wandered by the shops. <Everything looks the same.>
A vision appeared before me. The same vision that always appeared. The
prettiest face ever to grace a human form, the most perfect smile ever
to be sent my direction. <I wonder what gift can capture Akane's
heart?> It needed to be unique and beautiful. Just like the one I
would be giving it to. I picked out a few things, but they didn't seem
special enough.
A sign caught my eye. 'Koi Fishing Rod. Hook Your True Love. 1000
yen.'
I picked it up. "Koi fishing rod?" The rod was very simple; fishing
line tied at one end of a bamboo stick. "What is this?"
"Sir." The proprietor of the shop, a wizened older man, came up behind
me. "That is a rod to use on your true love."
He reached over and picked up the end of the fishing line. "You see,
there is a suction cup on the end. All you have to do is hit the breast
of the one you love with the suction cup."
He smiled at me and covered his heart with his hands. "Neat, huh? Once
you've hooked a person, the koi then develops...."
"Hah!" He didn't have me fooled. Ryoga Hibiki was not born yesterday.
Strange things like that couldn't possibly exist. It would be just as
stupid to think... to think...
...to think that a person could turn into a pig.
"Please come again!" The proprietor bowed to me as I walked away
heavier by the weight of the rod and a few other gifts and lighter by a
few thousand yen. I felt just a little bit foolish.
***
I stood with my back to a stone wall just before it turned a corner. I
wasn't entirely sure - I never am - but I thought I was near the Tendo
Dojo. I held the rod in front of me, examining it skeptically.
"Akane should be out of school by now." When you spend as much time
alone as I do, you tend to talk out loud a lot.
I shook my head. "I'm so pitiful, using something as childish as this."
I thought about it for a while, then nodded. "Yup, I'm pitiful. Just
forget it." I began to walk away.
"See you tomorrow, Akane!" A voice from around the corner.
"Good-bye!" An answer.
That answer sent my heart soaring. "Akane!" I crouched down, my back
against the wall, my heart beating loudly. <Calm down, Ryoga Hibiki.
This toy just might work. And if not....>
If not, I'd look a little silly. But if it worked... I began to tremble
a little. To have Akane's love... that was worth the risk of looking
foolish.
There were shouts from around the corner, which I ignored, just as I
ignored whatever voice was whispering inside of me, telling me that this
was wrong.
"Hah!" I surged to my feet. "Here goes!" I cast the rod in front of
me; the sucker at the end of the line disappeared around the corner.
I felt it attach itself to something. "A response!" I pulled it,
lifting my catch around the corner. My heart was racing, my breathing
ragged. I'd done it! I'd snagged...
And the person I'd caught came flying around the corner, to flip in the
air and land on my backpack. "Hey, Ryoga! Long time no see."
My world came crashing down around me. He'd done it to me. Again. Yet
again.
"Ranma, you..." I was angry. Very angry. Tears of frustration came
from my eyes. The bamboo pole broke in half in my hands.
Ranma seemed curious. "Yes?"
"...just utterly destroyed my life!" I turned quickly, whipping my
backpack out from underneath him and sending a kick in his direction.
He somehow managed to avoid it, as he almost always did. "What?" His
eyebrows were drawn down a little; he was irked at me. That was
nothing compared to the deep anger I felt. I prepared to take it all
out on him.
"Ryoga?" *Her* voice, from behind me.
I turned and gave Akane a nervous smile, in the meantime using one of my
hands to fend off Ranma's irksome blows. I noticed that Kuno dweeb
coming up behind Akane. Now that I could think about it, it had been
his voice I'd heard, along with Ranma's, just before I cast the koi
fishing rod. It wasn't hard to imagine Kuno chasing Ranma, and Ranma
running in front of Akane just before the sucker came flying.
"When did you come back?" Akane's voice was pleasant and friendly, as
always.
"Well... uh..." My tongue always seemed to develop a mind of its own
around Akane, prevent me from saying everything I wanted to say to her.
Akane walked up to me, smiling. "Haven't seen you in a while. I was
almost getting worried." Kuno came up behind her, putting his hands on
her shoulders, resting his head against hers.
I flushed slightly. "Really?" It was hard to be more articulate since
Ranma was beating on my head.
Akane and I shared a look. As one, we turned on our respective
assailants. For all that Ranma was one of the best martial artists on
the planet, he sometimes left openings large enough to drive a semi
through. I kicked him into the distance. Akane did the same with Kuno.
I showed Akane the things I'd gotten for her, minus the fishing rod of
course. She smiled her appreciation. "Thanks for all the gifts."
"That's all right." To see her smile was worth any price. "They're
heavy, let me carry them for you." It was a good excuse to walk home
with her.
"You're so nice." Her eyes crinkled.
I flushed some more. "Well, uh..." I couldn't think of anything to
say, so I kept quiet.
<All I have to do is walk with Akane, and I'll be happy. To think that
I trusted that rod.>
I smiled in self-deprecation. <I guess I'm really stupid.> There *was*
a way to Akane's heart, and I didn't need gimmicks to get there. I just
needed to be patient.
We walked home together, and for a while, the world was a wonderful
place.
***
INTERLUDE: Ranma
Ranma ran along the top of the wall, making his way back to the Tendo
home. He was more than a little irritated. "Damn that Ryoga!
Attacking people with weird stuff."
He reached up to scratch at his chest. "It itches, too." He unbuttoned
the top of his shirt, to reveal a red, circular mark on his chest.
Ranma let out a frustrated sigh. "Damn him!" Next time he saw Ryoga,
he was going to make him pay.
***
"Wow! Freshly baked rolls!" My timing was unusually good; Kasumi had
just finished baking, and placed the rolls at the table. I was sitting
at the table next to Akane. The rest of the Tendo family was seated
around the table, along with a Saotome panda.
Kasumi took my enthusiasm for a compliment, which, I guess, it was.
"Thank you, Ryoga!" She crinkled her eyes at me. Akane did, too. This
was as close to heaven as it was possible to be on earth.
The dining room door slid open. "I'm home!"
Akane quickly turned her head and smiled at Ranma. "Just in time for
tea." Her face was friendly and happy, which sent a small cold sliver
into my heart. How she could have any feelings for that jerk I could
never understand.
I turned to glare at Ranma.
Ranma had a very strange look on his face. Stunned, thunderstruck even.
He was staring at Akane and me sitting together at the table. He
hurriedly made his way to the table and pushed himself between us.
<He cut in between me and Akane!> My anger was growing again. Ranma
was sipping a cup of tea. <He must have done that on purpose.>
"Hey, Ranma." Nabiki was looking at him curiously. "Aren't you
crowding people that way?" She crossed her arms on the table and leaned
forward. Her voice turned knowing, teasing. "Ryoga came especially to
woo Akane. He even brought gifts."
Kasumi looked at Nabiki blankly. "Oh, is that so?"
"What?" I sat in shock. It was true, of course, but I couldn't have it
being said out loud, in front of Akane.
Akane shot Nabiki a disgusted look. "Stop kidding, Nabiki." She turned
to give me an apologetic smile. "Don't worry, Ryoga. She was just
joking."
"Hmm?" Somehow, to have Akane believe it was a joke was disturbing.
"Well..." I tried to build up my nerve. "Actually..."
Ranma, who had been strangely quiet throughout the exchange, suddenly
stood up. "A moment with you, Ryoga?"
"Hey!" Akane looked at Ranma, a surprised and somewhat pleading look on
her face. "Are you picking a fight again?"
Ranma closed his eyes and assumed the pose of someone nobly ignoring a
slight on his honor. "No, I just want to talk to him."
Nabiki was sounding more and more amused. "Akane, the center of a love
triangle." She beamed at Akane. "Right?"
Akane glared at her. "Stop that, Nabiki!"
I left with Ranma. He jumped onto the roof of the house, and I followed
right behind him. I was still angry, although Akane's concern for my
welfare had cooled me somewhat.
I put my hands on my hips. "What do you want?"
Ranma turned away from me and looked out into the yard. "Ryoga..." He
sounded very strange. Uncertain, nervous. "Do you really love Akane?"
This was not the question I was expecting. "Why are you..."
"I'm dead serious," he interrupted.
We stood still for a moment. My cheeks flushed again, but there was no
reason for me not to tell him the truth. "Yes."
"Oh dear." Ranma sounded... disappointed. Hurt, even. He crouched
down, then looked at me over his shoulder. "But... well... can we still
be friends?"
"What?" I had absolutely no idea what was going on here. "What are you
talking about?"
He stood up and turned to face me. So help me, he looked to be on the
verge of tears. "Not even friends?"
I let out a frustrated sigh. "That's not what I meant."
"Really?!" He grabbed my hands, looking very excited. "All right!"
Ranma turned to jump off the roof. As he bound away, he turned once to
wave merrily at me. "See you later!"
I stared after him, completely confused. "He's lost his marbles."
***
My tent is set up in a nearby lot. Nearby to the Tendo Dojo, that is.
It's quite comfortable, even if it's not very big. The nights I don't
spend sleeping with Akane I spend in the tent dreaming of her.
This night was no different. "Akane...."
The smell of miso soup came drifting from the kitchen. "Good morning,
Ryoga!" Akane was holding a ladle over a pot. She turned her head over
her shoulder and gave me a warm smile. "The miso soup will be ready in
a minute!"
Unfortunately, I woke up. I smiled in memory of the dream. It had
seemed so real, right down to....
I sniffed the air.
"I smell miso?" I got out of my sleeping bag and pushed aside the tent
flap.
"Good morning, Ryoga!" Ranma was holding a ladle over a pot. He turned
his head over his shoulder and gave me a warm smile. "The miso soup
will be ready in a minute!"
I stared numbly at the sight of Ranma happily preparing breakfast.
"While you were sleeping, I washed your clothes." Indeed, my clothes
were hanging on a nearby line. "If there's anything else you want
cleaned, set it out!"
He was up to something. "Ranma, what sort of plot are you cooking up?"
Ranma beamed. "Well, I just wanted to see you smile."
That did it. I leaned forward to yell in his face. "HOW THE HELL AM I
SUPPOSED TO HAPPY AT A MAN TAKING CARE OF ME!"
Ranma looked crestfallen. "Oh. Sorry." He grabbed a bucket of water
and upended it over himself. "Is this better?"
I stared at her. "What kind of stupid question...."
Suddenly, in a rush of horror, it came to me. <Wait! Could it be that
rod?>
I hurried back into the tent and tore through my backpack. I found the
instruction book for the koi fishing rod. I unfolded it and began to
read.
'The one you hook will be planted with the seeds of koi in their heart.
The seed will slowly grow into a full-grown koi.' The diagram showed
the progression, from a round mark, to a small fish-shaped mark, to the
final stage: the shape of an adult koi.
Koi meaning carp. Koi meaning love.
'The mark on the chest is the proof of love.'
<Mark?> I looked up from the instructions to see Ranma poking her head
into the tent. I grabbed her arm and pulled her. "Get in here."
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Akane liked to jog. Not only did it keep her in shape, it gave her time
to think. This time, she wondered where Ranma had gone to. He hadn't
been in the house when she'd gotten up that morning. She was just the
tiniest bit worried about him.
Passing a vacant lot, she heard voices coming from inside a tent.
Voices she knew.
"What are you doing?" Ranma's voice, female, curious.
"Don't move!" Ryoga's voice, commanding.
This was worth investigating.
***
I pushed Ranma onto her back and ripped open her shirt. Her left breast
was exposed, as was the mark on it. The mark of a small fish. Just
like in the instructions.
Depair shook me. It couldn't get any worse than this.
"Ranma? Ryoga?" Akane was calling from just outside the tent, at the
same time I was realizing it *could* get worse.
I panicked. I wanted to jump away, to close Ranma's shirt, to dig
myself a hole and bury myself in it. All I could do was sit there with
Ranma's shirt bunched in my fist, her breast exposed for everyone to
see.
Akane lifted the flap of the tent. "What are you..." She took in the
sight of Ranma and me. "...doing?" She looked stunned.
Ranma, meanwhile, looked happy, almost dreamy. "Wow, Ryoga, you're
braver than I thought."
I gulped. Life could not get any closer to hell on earth.
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Akane sat in class, staring at the clock on the wall, waiting for school
to end, unable to get the sight of Ranma and Ryoga out of her mind.
<I wonder what was going on there?> She knew what it *looked* like.
She just couldn't believe it of either Ryoga *or* Ranma.
She looked over to Ranma, who was idly scribbling in his notebook, a
glazed expression on his face. Akane leaned over to see what he was
writing.
Ryoga's name was written several times around the page. Ranma had even
drawn a good picture of Ryoga's head, with the words "I'm handsome"
coming out of Ryoga's mouth.
Akane turned away, shocked and disgusted. This, she decided, was not a
good sign.
***
I snuck into the school yard of Furinkan High School. I'd been looking
for it for hours, and had given up and was trying to find my way back to
my tent when I stumbled upon it.
I sat and thought about my options. <I've got to explain this to Akane.
But, how?>
I imagined how it might go. "I was actually trying to hook you with the
koi-fishing rod, but I hooked Ranma instead."
In my mind, Akane put her hands to her cheeks in horror. "What? You
tried to use this... thing... to get to me?"
She turned and fled, tears streaming from her eyes. "I misjudged you
badly, Ryoga. I never thought you were this... low!"
"Akane!" I cried out to her. "Don't go, Akane! Let me explain!"
"Explain what?" The flesh-and-blood Akane was standing behind me.
I gawked at her, unable to get me mouth to work. She had the most
amazing timing today.
***
I sat next to Akane on a park bench, trying to work up the courage to
explain. Explain what, I still had no idea.
Akane decided I needed a little push. "About this morning...." She
trailed off suggestively.
"Well..." I gulped. "That was...."
I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. She was staring at the
ground pensively.
I closed my eyes. <No! I can't tell her about the rod.>
I opened my eyes and my mouth. "This morning I..."
"...forced myself on Ranma."
I stared straight ahead, stunned.
Akane seemed no less shocked. She turned to me. "What did you just
say?"
I nearly choked getting the words out. "I didn't say that!"
"My true love is Ranma. Please try to understand, Akane."
Akane and I turned as one. Behind us, in the bushes, Ranma was speaking
into a microphone.
I jumped up from the bench and ground his head into the dirt with my
foot. "Stop imitating me! You're getting me very worked up!"
Ranma got up, none the worse for the wear. He was still speaking into
the microphone. "You're entranced by me, eh?" He gave me a wicked
smile. "Oh, well, I guess the cat's out of the bag."
I turned to Akane. She looked absolutely flabbergasted. I held my
hands in front of her. "Akane, it's all a misunderstanding! Please
believe me!"
Akane's face hardened. She stalked by me to grab Ranma's shirt in her
hand and bark into his face. "Ranma, why are you playing tricks on
Ryoga again?"
Ranma's face hardened as well. He grabbed Akane's hand and, to her
disbelief, forced her to release his shirt. "I'm not playing. In other
words..."
Ranma took a step back and pointed at Akane, his face stone. "We are
now enemies!"
Ranma was so intent on Akane, he didn't notice me. I kicked him out of
the school yard. "Shut up!" I panted for a while, then turned to
Akane. "I'm..."
"Ryoga," she interrupted. "You must be lonely without a girlfriend."
My eyes widened. "Hm?"
She looked down sadly. "So you took the best available alternative. I
understand."
My heart seized in my chest. Akane thought that Ranma... that Ranma and
I were....
Akane turned her head to the side, putting a hand on her chin. "Even
though you knew Ranma couldn't be serious about such a thing, you
succumbed anyway."
<The way she looks at me, I can't stand it.> Horror gripped me, as it
had at no other time in my life, even after Jusenkyo.
Akane came up and looked into my face, her hands clasped at her chest.
"Don't worry. There's a normal girl who will understand you.
Somewhere."
Suddenly, I found hope in her words. I turned my head to face her.
"Akane...."
She looked into my eyes, an earnest, slightly sad expression on her
face. "It's just that you haven't noticed her yet."
Suddenly, my heart started working again. She was actually saying, "I
understand you, Ryoga." In my heart, I spoke to her. <Thank you so
much, Akane. I'm so happy!>
She was offering her love, if I could just take care of one little
thing. <I'll get rid of Ranma somehow.>
***
I pushed aside the tent flap. And wished that I hadn't.
Ranma was evidently changing clothes. She had her boxer shorts on, and
was just pulling on her tank top. Her breasts were fully exposed, as
was the mark on her left one. She beamed at me. "Welcome back, Ryoga!"
I ignored her to examine the mark. It was much bigger now. <The koi
has already matured. In other words, Ranma's love has already reached
maturity. But...>
Ranma finished pulling on her tank top, staring at me curiously. I
steeled myself. "Ranma, please go home. I don't want to...."
Ranma came up to me, put her arms around my neck, closed her eyes, and
puckered her lips.
"Wh-what are you doing?" In a panic, I punched her, sending her flying
across the tent.
Ranma got up on her hands and knees, shooting me a hurt look. "Well,
since you were so agressive this morning...."
I went up to her, grabbed her tank top, and shouted in her face. "I'll
do all I can to get rid of you!"
Ranma's eyes narrowed. She reached over, grabbed a kettle, and poured
it on herself. "Is that so?"
Uh oh.
Ranma's fists began to fly at an incredible rate. His voice was full of
hurt anger. "Attack, I dare you!"
I tried to dodge and block the punches. <I'm doomed! Ranma's too
good!> He wasn't leaving any openings this time.
Our fight took us out of the tent and into the lot. People began to
crowd around, evidently impressed by Ranma's martial arts skills. I
wasn't so impressed to be on the receiving end of some incredibly fast
kicks. I did manage to block them, but I wasn't able to counter-attack.
I tried reasoning with him. "Calm down, Ranma! Can't we talk about
this?"
"About what?" Ranma got even angrier. He broke down my defenses and
started hitting me with vicious, open-handed slaps on my cheeks,
knocking my head from side to side. "You're just trying to get rid of
me so that you can get to Akane!"
He wound up and sent me flying with an uppercut. "You lying, two-faced
bastard!"
I landed on the ground a small distance away. The crowd oohed in
appreciation for the punishment I was taking. I could hear Ranma coming
up behind me, cracking his knuckles. I muttered to myself in a daze,
"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die...."
I shook myself and tried to think. <Gotta use his weakness.>
I jumped up, turned to him. My cheeks were very sore and red; I hoped
Ranma would think I was blushing. I grabbed his hand in mine. "Ranma,
it's all my fault. You're the only one for me."
Ranma looked skeptical. "Really?" Then he smiled, leaned forward, and
hugged me. "I'm so happy!"
Oh gods. It had worked *too* well. "Hey hey hey! We're being
watched!" I looked around the crowd, hoping no one I knew was there.
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Kasumi tilted her head. "It didn't seem like..."
Nabiki finished for her. "...one of their normal fights."
Akane stared at them across the dinner table, not so much surprised as
disgusted. "Really? Ranma and Ryoga?"
Nabiki nodded. "They seemed to be beyond normal friends."
Kasumi spoke up from where she was eating her rice. "Yes. They hugged
each other."
Akane bit her lip and stared pensively into her rice bowl. Enough was
definitely enough. She was going to find out once and for all what was
going on.
***
I sat in my tent, doing my best to put a happy look on my face while
Ranma fed me. She held something in her chopsticks, but I was paying
absolutely no attention to the food. "Say ah!"
I opened my mouth, let her put whatever it was in there, chewed and
swallowed. I knew I couldn't do this for much longer.
Ranma was looking at me expectantly. "Do you like it?"
I tried to laugh. I did a passable job. "Especially when you're
feeding me."
Ranma's laugh was genuine, delighted.
Thankfully, my portion of the meal was soon done. I took Ranma's
portion, turned my back to her, and took out a packet I'd gotten from
Kodachi. <Add some sleeping powder...>
I turned back to her, holding out a spoonful of the drugged food. "You,
too!"
"Ahhh!" She opened her mouth, practically quivering in happiness.
A half-hour later, she was sprawled on my sleeping bag, oblivious to the
world.
<I'm sorry, Ranma.> I turned my backpack upside-down and emptied its
contents onto the floor. Fortunately, as a woman Ranma was quite
petite. <I can't let you live.>
I put Ranma, still sleeping, into my backpack, her head sticking out
while she snored. I shouldered the backpack and made for the deep
woods. <Wait for me, Akane! I'll be back for you as soon as I get rid
of this annoyance.>
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Akane ran to the lot where Ryoga had his tent. <Damn! What the hell is
Ranma up to?>
The tent was lit from inside. "Ranma! Ryoga!" She lifted up the tent
flap. "Empty." Of people, anyway. The place was a mess, scattered
with things Ryoga normally kept in his backpack. Akane looked around
the tent, and her eyes locked onto a small pamphlet.
Koi Fishing Rod Instruction Booklet.
"Koi-fishing rod?" She opened it up and began to read. "The one that
gets hooked will love the fisherman?"
She sat back, remembering the scene from yesterday, when Ryoga had used
the strange fishing rod to hook Ranma. <Ranma's for real?>
Nabiki's voice echoed in her head. "They seemed to be beyond normal
friends."
She seemed to hear Ryoga speaking to Ranma, his voice full of joy.
"You're the only in my heart."
Ranma, female, answering in kind. "I'm so happy!"
Akane fell forward on her hands and knees, anger consuming her. <Could
they *both* be for real?>
She looked down at the broken fishing rod. One way to find out.
***
INTERLUDE: Ranma
Ranma woke slowly. She was confined in a strange way. She blearily
looked around, trying to figure out where she was.
She realized that she was in Ryoga's backpack. That Ryoga was carrying
her off somewhere.
And then rational thought fled her. Her mind was filled with a feverish
desire. A desire for one person. A desire to make that one person
happy, to give that person whatever he wanted, so long as she got to be
with him. Everything else was secondary, absolutely everything else.
Some part of her was desperately trying to get her attention, trying to
fight the fever. Ranma ignored it. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered
to her. Except Ryoga Hibiki.
Her fevered mind began racing, staring at the back of Ryoga's head, at
the object of her obsession. <Now we're alone together where no one can
find us!> That made her very excited. Now there would be no
distractions. It would be just her and Ryoga.
And that was all that she needed.
***
<Tonight you die, Ranma!> I would be able to take care of many years of
frustration, as well as remove the only obstacle that kept me from
winning Akane's love.
I judged us to be deep enough in the woods. I shrugged out of the
backpack and grabbed the shovel I had strapped to its side.
I began laughing gleefully. <Just you Ranma! I'm going to dig for you
the best grave ever.>
Akane and I knelt in front of the grave where I had buried Ranma. We
held each other's hands. Akane was looking at me with love in her eyes.
I spoke to her tenderly. "I finally got rid of Ranma. Now, at last, I
can be yours!"
It was a very pleasant fantasy, one that made the digging much, much
easier.
Something glomped me. "Love." It was Ranma. "You."
I stared into her eyes. They seemed slightly glazed, and she was
staring at me with the devotion one might expect of a dog. "You're
awake?" So help me, it was the only thing I could think of to say.
She spoke in a slightly breathless voice. "Yes. We're all alone now."
The implications of that last statement frightened me. "Uh... um...."
She smiled at me, her expression slightly crazed. "Calm down." She
hugged me tightly. "We're in the middle of an unihabited forest. No
matter how you scream, cry, or shout, no one will be able to hear you."
Oh gods. I whacked her with the shovel. "I'm supposed to say that!" I
looked at her, ready at last. This was one fight she was not going to
win. "Ranma, prepare to die!"
She slowly raised herself into a kneeling position, looking at me sadly.
"Do you really hate me?"
I snorted. "I'll be frank. I never really liked you in the first
place."
Ranma peered up at me, giving me an inquiring look. "If I die, will you
be happy?"
This took me aback. "What?"
Still kneeling, Ranma turned so she was facing away from me. "I
understand. Go ahead and kill me then."
"What?" I knew I was repeating myself. I couldn't help it.
Ranma's voice was at once sad and happy. "I'll do anything for you.
Even die."
I stared at the back of her head. It would be so easy now. I could
snap her neck in an instant. She'd never feel a thing. My best chance
at happiness lay in destroying the person who had tortured my life from
the moment I met him. Her. Whoever. An opportunity like this would
never come again. It was so simple, just reach forward.
Ranma pressed her hands in front of her and began to mutter a prayer.
I fell to my hands and knees. <I can't do it! I can't attack an
opponent who doesn't retaliate.> I don't know where this bit of
morality came from. Probably I got it from the depths of Akane's eyes.
I just couldn't kill someone in cold blood.
"I knew it all along." Ranma turned around, to look at me with with
those same glazed, adoring eyes. "I love you..." She kissed me on the
cheek. "...so..." she kissed me again. "...much."
Ranma had kissed me. Ranma. Had. Kissed. Me.
Every time I had thought the world couldn't be a darker place, Ranma
somehow found a way to suck out more of the light.
Ranma began singing. "Ah, the man in the moon strings us together...."
<There's no doubt in my mind now!> I decided that cold-blooded murder
wasn't so bad after all.
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Akane ran through the streets of Nerima. She carried the koi fishing
rod. Even though half of the bamboo shaft was missing, she guessed it
was still functional.
<Where could they be?> She needed to find them before it was too late.
Before Ranma became Ryoga's... Ryoga's... love-slave, for lack of a
better term. Or rather, for lack of a term she preferred not to think
about.
"Come back here, Ranma!" Ryoga, sounding angry.
"Over here, come and catch me!" Ranma, female, sound sickeningly cute.
Akane turned to find she was next to Furinkan High School. <The
schoolyard?> She had no idea what they were doing there.
She peered over the fence. Ranma was leaping around, looking very
happy, calling out "Nyaah, nyaah" in a teasing voice.
Ryoga was chasing her, and he looked and sounded angry. "Damn you!"
"Are they playing?" She wasn't sure. Ryoga didn't look like he was in
a playful mood. There was still a lot about Ryoga's motivations in this
that she didn't understand.
Still, it was time to put an end to the whole mess.
***
Ranma just wouldn't stand still and let me kill her. She bounded from
place to place, laughing at me. Damn her.
Finally, she ran up against a tree. As she turned around, I buried my
fist into the trunk up to my wrist. I'd missed, but at last I had her.
I laughed somewhat maniacally. "You can't escape now!"
"I know that!" Ranma beamed at me, bringing her fists underneath her
chin, her eyes excited. "Do whatever you want!"
I drew back my fist. "That's exactly what I plan to do."
"NO!" Somebody whacked the back of my head with a shovel. "You can't
go on like this!"
I pushed myself up and turned around. "Akane! How did you find us in
the deep forest?"
She shot me a disgusted look. "This is the schoolyard."
I looked around in surprise. I had been so sure.
"It's this koi rod." Akane held it up. "This is what turned Ranma into
your lover."
"What?" My what? What did Akane think of me?
"Koi rod?" Ranma came up, a quiet expression on her face. Akane held
out the instructions to Ranma, and together they read them. "Oh. 'The
person you fish will receive the seeds of love.'"
Ranma's face was completely blank. She pulled down her tank top so that
the top part of her left breast was revealed. She pointed to the mark.
"A koi. I see."
<It's all a big misunderstanding, misunderstanding,
misunderstanding....> I wanted to vocalize the words. I wanted to very
badly. I tried. What did Ranma and Akane think of me? That I was
after Ranma, that I wanted Ranma as my lover? I shuddered at the
thought. This had to be the worst moment of my life.
Yet I felt a strange relief. Now that Ranma knew what had happened to
her, she would leave me alone. Even if she and Akane never spoke to me
again, even if they thought I was an even bigger pervert than Happosai,
at least I wouldn't have to worry about Ranma kissing me - among other
things - any more.
I sensed something flying towards me. Instinctively, I jumped. I
twisted in the air and turned around, just as Ranma was pulling back the
line she had just cast out.
Oh damn.
Horror washed over me. Absolute horror, the kind that made Jusenkyo
seem like a memory of paradise. "What are you trying to do?"
Ranma smiled brightly at me. "It's really simple. I'm just using this
rod..." In a flash, she jumped in the air. "...to fish you! Attack!"
I stood motionless, the horror freezing me.
Akane, fortunately, chose that time to do what she does best: attack
Ranma. She hit Ranma over the head with the shovel, shouting "No!"
This was not a Ranma, however, that would meekly accept a beating.
"Stop interfering, bitch!" Ranma kicked Akane.
Ranma kicked Akane.
Not a foot sweep, not an attempt to send her flying out of the school
yard. It was a vicious, I'm-gonna-hurt-you attack. Akane, fortunately,
was able to block it with her forearms, screaming as she fell backwards.
I studied Ranma, the look of anger, even... hatred. <Does Ranma really
hate Akane?> From the look on Akane's face, she was having exactly the
same thought.
This galvanized me. I sprang at Ranma, knocking her down and scooping
up Akane. "We've got to get out of here, Akane!"
Akane looked dazed, confused, hurt. "Ryoga...." Her voice contained a
trace of accusation.
I tried to ignore the dagger her voice was sinking into my heart. I
heard Ranma shouting from far behind me. "Ryoga! Let me fight with
Akane!"
"You're crazy!" I didn't look behind me, didn't slow down. Ranma was
faster than I was. I had to find a hiding place before she could catch
me. I spotted some thick undergrowth near a tree. Akane and I crouched
inside it.
Ranma bound into sight, still holding onto the koi fishing rod. "Damn!
Where'd they run off to?" She began stalking around the school yard.
"Yoohoo!" This time, her voice was menacing instead of teasing.
This was the worst disaster I had ever been involved with. It was
actually somewhat liberating. It made some things easier to say. "I'm
so sorry, Akane. I never thought it would turn out like this."
"Ryoga." Akane's voice was sad, hurt, forlorn. "Why did you have to
choose Ranma?"
I looked at Akane. Her gaze pierced my heart, as usual. <No, Akane. I
was actually going for you. You're the one I really love.>
I made a fist, then punched the tree, hard. <After what I've done, I've
lost the right to explain.>
I had to set things right, put things back in order. I stood up. "I'm
going to settle this with Ranma once and for all."
Akane looked at, confusion written all over her face. "Why?"
"If..." A big if. "If I survive this, I hope you..." I love you
Akane. "...can understand..." Everything I've done has been for you,
to try and make myself worthy for you. "...my motives." And yet,
everything I do seems to take me further away from you.
What am I doing wrong, Akane?
I steeled myself. This thing, at least, I could try to make right.
I stepped out into the open. "Ranma, I'm here!" I glared around the
school yard. "Show yourself!" One way or the other, it would end.
Here and now.
Again, I heard the whisper behind me. Again, I jumped and twisted.
"Missed." Ranma stood, whirling the koi fishing rod in her hand, a very
determined look on her face. "You don't want to be hooked?"
I cracked my knuckles, equally determined. "Ranma, this will be our
last fight. If I win, you have to give up on me."
Ranma smiled wickedly, confidently, feverishly. "Good enough. Come
on!"
I sent a rapid series of punches at her. "I refuse to lose to you this
time!" There was far to much at stake, not just for me but for Akane as
well.
Ranma blocked each one of my punches, then suddenly jumped and kicked me
under the chin. I went flying backwards.
"Go!" Ranma took advantage of my vulnerability. She cast the koi rod's
line in my direction.
I was flying through the air, helpless to alter the direction of my
flight, unable to get out of the koi line's flight path. I had only one
chance. "You'll never catch me!" I reached up and removed my bandanna.
Unfortunately, I was only wearing one today. I would have to make this
count.
"Hah!" I threw the bandanna. It struck the sucker tip and sent it
flying back towards Ranma.
It hit Ranma just above her tank top. On her left breast. On the mark
of the koi. She had a stunned look on her face as it connected.
"An opening!" I landed, bounded forward, and sent her flying with one
of my strongest punches. She dropped the koi fishing rod. As it fell
away from her, it pulled the koi off of her breast.
"I won." I could barely believe it. I had actually beaten Ranma.
I grabbed the koi fishing rod as it fell from the sky. I reached for
Ranma's koi, but it dissolved into nothingness in my fingers.
<This means...> My heart soared. <...I'm free of Ranma!> I began
dancing around for the pure joy of it.
My guilt was gone. Now at last, I could face Akane with a clear
conscience. This time, there would be no mistake.
***
INTERLUDE: Ranma
Ranma was in mid-air. How she got there, she had no idea. It was hard
to think. It was getting better, slowly, but she was still terribly
confused. She felt flushed and dazed. Someone - probably Akane - had
sent her flying. She'd feel a little better about it if she knew why.
The problem was, even when she could think clearly she seldom knew why
she was sent flying. Or at least, she seldom agreed that she deserved
to be sent flying.
She landed on her head, which did nothing to help clear her mind.
<What's going on?>
***
INTERLUDE: Akane
Akane sat in the bushes, her knees tucked under her chin. She stared at
the ground, trying to sort things out. <What's really going on? Ryoga
was so serious.>
His words came back to her. "If I survive this, I hope you can
understand my motives."
What did he mean? Did he mean his feelings towards Ranma? She just
couldn't help the feeling that Ryoga really didn't like Ranma. At
least, not in *that* way. Yet his actions were so hard to explain
otherwise. Unless...
Unless Ryoga wasn't after Ranma at all. It was just possible that Ryoga
wanted... was really in love with....
"Akane?" Ryoga's voice came from the other side of the bushes.
She called out to him softly. "Ryouga?" Maybe she would get some
answers at last.
Ryoga's voice sounded nervous and determined all at once. "I don't have
to hide myself any longer. Please don't be too surprised, but... I..."
Akane stood up and stepped out from behind the tree.
"...want to express my true feelings for you!" With that, Ryoga reached
out and hugged the object of his affections.
Akane stared at him in disgust. He really *was* a pervert.
Ranma's pigtail popped out from underneath Ryoga's grasp. He looked at
it, then seemed to freeze in place.
Ranma broke out of Ryoga's grasp. "Hey!" She grabbed his chin and
shoved his head back. "What do you think you're doing?!"
Ranma began to pound on Ryoga's unresisting form, chanting the mantra,
"What do you think you're doing?!" Over and over again.
Akane looked down at Ryoga's crumbling form, feeling shocked. And
satisfied. At least Ranma had somehow broken Ryoga's spell. Ryoga was
only getting what he deserved.
***
I settled into Akane's grasp. The events of the past couple of days had
taken a lot out of me, and I needed some time to recover my equilibrium.
Being held by Akane was the best way to do that.
Akane hugged me tightly. However, she looked disturbed and
disappointed. "I can understand Ryoga's emtions, but as to his
methods...."
The words were more daggers in my heart. I squealed, trying to explain.
If only someone would listen.
Ranma had his arms folded and was giving me an equally disgusted look.
"He's just a big pervert."
Nabiki was looking speculatively at Ranma. "I guess he wasn't here to
visit Akane after all."
I quivered as much as I could in Akane's tight squeeze. Gods, haven't I
been punished enough for the sin I committed? When will Akane truly
understand me?
The world, I decided, was a dark and lonely place. There had to be some
light somewhere. Akane's words came back to me, about there being
someone out there who *could* understand me. I hoped I could find her
soon, before the darkness consumed me completely.
I squealed softly, the closest in this form I could come to crying.
