Ramon Salvania wrote:
I think this is the first time I have read something that was short and
satisfied with it. It started out a semi-dark fic but it turned out to
have a promise of hope. I particularly like the anonymous person in the
beginning. There is one flaw though, if Ranma is so out of it, how come
he managed to put his arm around Nabiki when she came to fetch him from
the park? Also, expanding or ellaborating the story more could enhance
the story, such as the deal with Nodoka.
Hmmm, I'll work on that. I was in a very dark mode when I wrote the first
part.
As for grammar, I really did not notice anything out the ordinary.
Thanx.
Anyway, once again I really like it so far and I am looking forward to the
next installment.
My ego swells and my clothes are to small. ;)
-Ramon