Rei moaned louder. She was supposed to be cleaning the temple, but
somehow she and Usagi had ended up back in her bedroom instead, and one
thing lead to another as usual. Now they were both butt naked and Usagi
was impaling her with the Spiral Heart Moon Rod. Usagi sat on Rei's
chest, pushing it in and out, moaning herself as Rei fondled her
breasts. She could feel herself starting to come and contemplated trying
to pleasure herself with the other end. Finally, she decided it was
worth a try, although it would require some acrobatics.
Rei tried to tell Usagi not to try it...but then she came,
howling. Her muscles tightened around the rod...and it snapped as Usagi
tried to thrust the other end into herself...which wouldn't have been a
good idea in any case. They both stared for a moment. "Oops," Usagi said.
"Oops?" Rei tried to get mad, but she was busy orgasming.
Finally, that finished and she felt too mellow to get mad. "Hope no
youma show up..."
"Are you okay, Rei?" Usagi looked concerned now and pulled the
broken rod out of Rei. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
Rei sat up. "You never hurt me, Usagi-chan...Oohh...that felt so
good. I may get mad about you ruining the rod in a little while,
though." She laid back, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.
Usagi clutched the rod in her hands. "I messed up again...what am
I going to do?" She closed her eyes. I'm sorry. I was just trying to
help Rei feel good about herself...she gets so lonely because she doesn't
have a boyfriend and we haven't figured out how to get Ranma to sleep
with her yet...
A voice spoke. "I know you were, daughter. I know you care for
Rei very much."
Usagi opened her eyes. She was now butt naked in a beautiful
field of flowers. Her mother, Queen Serenity, was standing over her,
smiling as she always did. Usagi instinctively tried to cover herself.
"I...uh...I'm sorry I broke the Spiral Heart Moon Rod! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"Don't cry. Anything done for love is good, when love is true and
pure." She gestured and Usagi was suddenly clothed in the robes of a
princess. In fact, she had become her Princess Serenity self, still
clutching the fluid stained halves of the rod. "You do love her, don't you?"
Princess Serenity strained to keep her composure. "Yes...I...
That's not wrong? I mean, she's a ..."
"Let your love for her flow. Think about how much you care about her."
Princess Serenity concentrated like her mother had told her. She
remembered Rei's smiles, the times she had sacrificed herself to protect
Usagi, how she had given up her love for Mamoru for Usagi's sake. The
two halves of the rod shimmered and reformed, flowing together. It
became the Swiss Army Shining Sexy Moon Sceptre, a long silver rod with a
large heart on one end with a golden crescent moon embossed on both
sides. The symbols of the inner senshi ran up one side and the outer
senshi on the other, with the white cross of Switzerland at the bottom of
both sides.
"To use the rod, just shout, "Shining Sexy Moon Arousal!" Oh, and
if you push here, the dildo attachment comes out, and this symbol pops
out a knife, fork and spoon...there's a clock in here and..." Princess
Serenity's head started to spin as Queen Serenity demonstrated the twenty
or so different features.
**************************************************************************
Lemon Sherbet 8:
"Bailsite and Rachlite Go Quantity Surveying"
By John Biles
With Flashback help from Jeff Hosmer :)
**************************************************************************
Obligatory Flashback #2!!!!!!!!!!!!
<The Moon Over Georgia, Shenandoah>
"Here, Rei, I want you to hold on to this."
Rei looked at Usagi, dumbfounded. Her fellow Sailor Senshi was
holding out the Moon Stick to her. The Silver Crystal gleamed softly in
the light of the sacred fire at her temple. They were sitting in front of
it, talking.
"What? Have you lost what little brains you had in that meatball
head?" she asked. "You may need that tonight!"
For the past several days, the Senshi had pretended to be on the verge
of breaking up, constantly arguing and squabbling so that the Dark Kingdom
would believe that Sailor Moon might sell them out. They hoped that this
would give them a chance to study a portal to the Dark Kingdom and maybe
get Mamoru back. The Dark Kingdom had taken the bait, and Sailor Moon was
going to meet them tonight.
Usagi pressed the Stick into Rei's hands. "Please, Rei," she said,
tears gathering in her eyes at her friend's sharp tone. "It's too
important to risk losing. If something happens to me--"
"NOTHING is going to happen to you!"
They both stopped short, amazed at the vehemence in Rei's voice.
"Rei-chan?"
"I mean, you're tempting fate, talking like that, Usagi. Nothing's
going to happen. You've got all of us watching over you."
Usagi took Rei's hands in her own, her touch surprisingly gentle, and
clasped the priestess's unwilling hands around the Stick. "Rei," she said,
with all the authority of the Moon Princess, "you have to keep this safe.
Promise me you will, no matter what happens to me."
"I promise..." Rei's throat had gone dry. It still amazed her that
her friend held the essence of a Princess in her. She was so clumsy most
of the time, and a crybaby, and a real moron at school. Suddenly, she knew
that she'd miss all the things that usually annoyed her about Usagi if
something happened.
She swept Usagi into a sudden hug. "Just you promise me that you'll
be careful, Meatball head." The nickname was said without her usual
rancor, almost affectionately.
"I will, I promise," Usagi said, hugging her friend back and
sniffling. "I was afraid... that you'd really want me gone..."
"What? How can you think that?"
"Because we argue all the time and fight over little things. I didn't
want that, Rei-chan because I always admired you, even from the first...
especially then..."
"Why are you telling me this, Usagi?" Rei asked, her heart beating so
quickly she was sure that her friend could hear it. When she and Usagi had
first met, she had been jealous of the blonde girl from the start. Usagi
was so beautiful, and she made it seem easy. There was no way, she had
thought, that a klutz like Usagi could put herself through the grueling
preparations Rei did to face each day. Fresh out of bed, Usagi always was
beautiful. Rei looked like birds had been nesting in her hair.
The priestess had been suspicious of Usagi, but after she became a
Sailor Senshi, that had changed. She had always felt it her duty as a
priestess to fight evil and suffering, but few of her friends could
understand that. Now she had two (and later four) friends who could relate
to her. And, as Sailor Moon, Usagi had been unbelievably cool (at times).
Usagi had always been so friendly, even despite the terrible things Rei had
done to her at first, like going on that cruise with Ami, even though she
knew Usagi wanted to go, or dating Mamoru. Rei found herself becoming
friends with Usagi. She found herself willing to risk life and limb for
her friend, and the depth of that feeling scared her. She had kept up the
bickering just to keep Usagi at a comfortable distance.
"I'm telling you this because I want you to know that I love you,
Rei," Usagi said sadly in a naive sort of way. "I couldn't... face tonight
without telling you that."
Rei froze, trembling slightly. Her mouth dropped open, but no sound
came out at first. When she finally got her voice to work, it sounded
harsh and raspy. "You shouldn't say things like that, Usagi... people
might get the wrong idea--URK!"
Usagi took Rei's face in her hands and kissed her, stopping the
priestess's speech. Rei shook with surprise and sudden fear. She broke
away with a startled yelp.
"Usagi! What were you doing?" she screeched.
Usagi looked at Rei sadly. "I hoped... I don't know why I did that,
but... I'm scared I won't come back tonight." Tears glimmered in her eyes.
"Or they'll brainwash me like they did Mamo-chan. I couldn't leave you
without telling you."
"You love me like... THAT? What about Mamoru?" Rei bit her lip as
soon as the words were out, wishing she could take them back.
"I love him too, just as much," Usagi said, looking miserable. "I
love Ami-chan, and Mako-chan, and Minako-chan, too, but they're just good
friends. With Mamo-chan, and you, it's different." She stood, twisting
her head this way and that, as if looking for an escape. "I should go..."
"Wait!" Rei called. She loves me, she thought to herself. I never
expected this... Do I love her the same way? I can't, can I? She thought
of their times together, the bickering, the making up afterwards, the way
Usagi smiled and moved, the warm feeling she got when Usagi was over to
borrow manga or for a meeting...
"Usagi..." she said, in almost a whisper, "I... may love you, too..."
Almost immediately, Usagi's sad countenance changed to joy. "Rei-chan!"
she yelled, glomping on her friend. Rei was almost bowled over by
her enthusiasm.
"Whoa! Watch it, Meat--" Her remark was cut off by another kiss, a
less frantic one this time. Rei let herself melt into it and kiss back.
It felt wonderful, exciting her. Usagi was a far better kisser than any of
the boys she had dated, except perhaps for Mamoru. Not that Mamoru had
ever really kissed Rei, however much she had wanted him to. There had been
once, when he had tried to give her a kiss on the cheek and she turned her
head so their lips met, catching him by surprise. He had let himself go
for one moment, and then had pulled back. For that moment, she had been in
a heaven similar to this.
Oh, kamis, she thought as she felt Usagi's hands touch her breasts
through her robe. She was terribly excited by this now, and knew that
Usagi could feel her nipples pressing against the fabric of her bra. How
far was Usagi going to go?
She got her answer as Usagi began to pull open her robe. Slowly, her
gentle hands ran over Rei's breasts, squeezing and caressing them. Then
Usagi pulled one bra cup aside, letting her nipple pop out. She broke the
kiss then, looking deeply into Rei's eyes.
Rei's face was flushed and her breathing ragged, which caused her
chest to have up and down, much to Usagi's delight.
"I love you, Rei-chan," she said simply. Then she waited, an unasked
question hanging in the air and showing in her eyes.
"I love you, too, Usagi-chan," Rei replied without hesitation, pulling
her new lover on top of her.
They had tried to make love that afternoon, but were not very good at
it, though they did discover a few functions of the Moon Stick they
hadn't been aware of before. Still, they had a lot of fun experimenting,
and their new love chased away their fears until that night. After
that, they could only get together a few brief times before the final
battle with the Dark Kingdom.
There, Rei had died for her love, and come back because of it. Looking
back on those months with no memory of Usagi, Rei knew she had been in hell
then, but unknowing. Something precious had been gone from her life.
After she got her memories back, she and Usagi had gotten together as soon
as possible...
***************************************************************************
<In the Command Center>
Ranma and Minako stormed into the command center. "You're not going
to go on and tell that story TOO are you? We want some action!" Ranma
shouted.
Minako nodded. "Chris Davies isn't the ONLY person reading this
story, you know!"
Dark Queen Belldandy shrugged. "Well, we just threw that in to kill
time while you TWO were making out in Ranma's dressing room."
"We were PRACTICING!" Ranma said, nervously, as Akane and Ukyou
walked in.
"Practicing what?" Akane asked.
"Our lines for our next scene," Minako said, bigsweating.
"Hey, I wanna see the script," Ukyou said. "When's my next scene,
anyway?" She grabbed the script and paged through it to her next scene.
"Hey, I only appear in ONE more scene in this episode?"
"What about me?" Akane asked.
Ukyou checked. "You don't appear at all."
Akane turned red with anger. "WHAT???"
Ukyou checked the script. "On the other hand, Ranma sleeps with ..."
They both glared up at Minako, who took off running. "Save me, Ranma!"
Ranma turned to try and soothe his fiancees, but they figured that a
beating soothes the savage beast more effectively than music. They were
right.
**************************************************************************
<Queen of Hearts, by ?>
Minako smiled at Ranma, who smiled back nervously, trying to ignore
the loud moaning coming from the living room. "Nervous, Ranma?"
"Yes...I mean...No...uh...well," he said. I can't believe I made
that crazy stake...but Makoto was already cleaned out...she thought it
was worth it. I guess I really can't play poker.
"You two shouldn't have bet you'd switch with us for a night as your
last stake in that poker game, Ranma. Of course, if you'd won, you'd
have gotten a lot of your chips back." Minako smiled. Ranma couldn't
play poker very well at all...She wondered again if it had been Ranma's
crazy idea or Makoto's...
Makoto was insane...why'd I let her talk me into this? She sure
seems to be taking to it well...Minako is nice, Ranma thought. I had
such a good hand...we'd have been ahead if Minako hadn't had four aces.
Minako is really a good card player...Steven can't play any better than
me, except he always seems to know when you're bluffing. That's how I
lost all my money...
Minako drew Ranma over to the bed and sat him down. "Now Ranma. I
won't make you do this. I'd like to...and I'm sure the others don't mind
or they wouldn't be getting it on right now. Group orgies can be nice,
but I prefer privacy for my first time with someone. Don't you?"
Ranma nodded silently. Yeah. Having all those jerks walking in on
me and Akane really made it less good than it should have been. "Yeah.
It's better that way."
Minako smiled and put an arm around his waist. He instinctively put
an arm around hers. She smiled. "I won't make you do anything you don't
want to do, Ranma. If you really want out of this, just tell me."
Ranma could feel his blood pounding. His manhood was starting to
respond to her closeness. He could smell her perfume faintly. Out in
the living room, he heard Makoto shout, "Oh yes...more...more..." He
felt a surge of jealousy, then desire rushed through him. Minako was
smiling at him. She wanted him. He could feel himself wanting her. For
a moment, he remembered Makoto telling him, "The senshi share
everything. Well, almost everything." Was he just something to be
shared? Should he really do this? Everyone else seemed to think it was
okay. He looked at Minako again. We've fought together. She's a bit
flaky, but very nice. I can't say I love her...Not yet...maybe with time...
He leaned closer to her. "I want you...but I can't say I love
you...that wouldn't be true...but..."
She smiled. "Maybe one day we'll all love each other. It's not
wrong if we all agree to it, is it?"
He nodded. "Yeah. As long as no one minds...and we all want
it..." He pulled her closer.
She smiled. "I certainly want it!" Their lips met and eyes
closed. He pulled her up into his lap, sliding one arm down to her
buttocks, pulling her up onto his legs. The other arm slid around and
into her blouse, reaching up inside the back of it, sliding a finger up
and down her spine.
She shivered, sliding her tongue into his mouth, moving one hand
down to roam up and down the side of his leg, the other wrapped around
his back.
They held each other, slowly kissing for a long time, then he
brought his hand out of her blouse and around to her front, unbuttoning
her blouse halfway down, then sliding it inside the blouse to stroke her
left breast.
She broke off the kiss, and unbuttoned her blouse, taking it off, as
he reached down and undid her skirt, which fell off. She rolled him
around and pushed him down, then undid the ties on his shirt, kissing her
way down his chest. His pants came off and she kissed her way down his
groin, across his still underwear covered asoko, then down onto his leg.
His manhood throbbed and pressed against the fabric, which almost
tore. She smiled and kissed it again, watching it try to break through.
Ranma pulled her up his body and slid off her bra, watching her breasts
jiggle as he did so. He pulled one of them down to his lips and licked
it. She moaned and pressed it against his face as he licked the nipple
slowly, then slid his hand down inside her panties and along her slit.
They rolled about in the bed, pleasuring each other with abandon.
Ranma moaned with delight. Soon, he found himself licking her love mound
while she was sucking on his manhood, which throbbed with oncoming
passion. He came first, exploding into her mouth. She sucked it all
down, cleaning his manhood with her tongue. He kept licking her, poking
in a finger to help. Finally, she came, pleasure flowing through her
like an atomic bomb explosion. Her honey flowed and he lapped it up like
a cat drinking milk. Luckily, no REAL cats happened to be around to help.
By that point, her ministrations had his manhood aroused again.
She released it and said, "Kiss me..." Right as he prepared to reverse
positions and bring his lips up to hers, the wall smashed open and Kunou
ran in.
"Saotome! HAVE YOU NO SHAME? Deflowering this innocent maiden? IS
NO CRIME TOO GREAT FOR YOU?"
Ranma moaned. I hate my life, he thought. Grabbing for underwear,
he rolled to one side and did a sort of back flip, putting his underwear
on at the same time. Unfortunately, he landed badly and knocked a
bookcase onto himself.
Minako, meanwhile, simply clutched her sheets to her body. "Who
are you and what are you doing in my house?"
Kunou said, "I've been following this vile beast! I saw what he
did! You poor innocent soul, seduced by this monster! I am Kunou
Tatewaki, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, and in the name of innocent
maidens everywhere, I shall punish you, Saotome Ranma!" He struck a pose
and thunder boomed in the distance.
Minako giggled despite herself. She felt she should be angry, but
his whole routine reminded her way too much of Usagi to take him
seriously. Nice trick with the thunder, though.
While Kunou was making his speech, Ranma clambered out from under
the bookcase. For some annoying reason, his manhood was remaining erect,
and it was not only stretching the fabric of his underwear, it made him
feel rather silly too. Unfortunately, the thing about being aroused is
that it's rather hard to stop when it's inconvenient. The second bad
thing is that it made for a rather easy target.
Ranma leaped forward for a flying kick. Kunou's blow would have
fallen short of him by a hair's breadth, passing between his legs...except
for something was sticking out. Ranma got hit where it really hurts. He
collapsed, howling in pain.
Kunou stood and shouted his triumph to the heavens. "You have been
undone by your own lusts, Saotome! This has been coming to you for a
long time! " Rant, rant, rant. While he ranted, Minako started looking
for her transformation pen, only to realize it was in the pocket on her
skirt, which Ranma was lying on, on the floor, with Kunou looming over him.
Time for plan B. She went to the door, opened it and shouted,
"Hey, Makoto, Kunou just hit Ranma in the 'nads."
She could see Steven and Makoto were on the couch. It looked like
Steven was in the process of going down on her. Makoto got up and tossed
Steven into Minako's arms. He blinked, and she charged into the room,
spun Kunou around and kicked him in the balls. He blinked, and
collapsed, moaning. Steven said, "What the...who's that?"
Makoto kneeled by Ranma, who was moaning. "Get me a glass of
water, Minako."
Minako blinked and put down Steven, who rather embarrasedly started
looking for his underwear and tried to stop breathing so hard. She
brought the glass of water to Makoto, who to her surprise, tossed it on
Ranma. Ranma shuddered and changed into a woman. Minako got big eyes.
Ranma-chan sat up. "Thanks."
"I...you..." Minako said. Steven simply fainted.
"It can't hurt if I don't have it," Ranma-chan said. "I'm not
gonna be feeling too happy the next time I turn back, though..."
"What, the pain won't fade until you actually LIVE through it?"
"I guess we'll see."
"Uh...the water...Ranma...umm, what's going on?" Minako asked.
They told her, and Steven too, when he recovered. They both felt a
little incredulous, but they'd seen it happen. It made about as much
sense as anything else they'd lived through lately. Finally, Minako
said, "Right. Well, shall we get back to what we were doing?"
"Well, I can give you Steven back if you don't want to be with a
woman for the rest of the night," Makoto said.
"Well, it'll be a new experience...I'm an open-minded person.
Unless you'd rather try Steven out yourself, Ranma?"
"I..hey! I don't sleep with guys!" Ranma said. "Women only."
"I dunno. He is pretty good, Ranma. I mean, sooner or later..."
Makoto said.
Steven blushed. "Hey, I don't sleep with guys either!"
Minako fondled one of Ranma-chan's breasts. "Looks pretty female to
me."
Steven picked up Makoto. "Let's get going before they get anymore
crazy ideas, Ranma."
Ranma-chan nodded and hauled off Minako back to her bedroom. Minako
and Makoto winked at each other as they got hauled off. Ranma-chan
closed the door and locked it behind her this time. She moved over and
sat down on the bed, then realized Kunou was still in the room. She
opened the window and punted Kunou in the direction of what she THOUGHT
was the Kunou mansion.
<Sex me up, by Prince>
Minako sat down next to Ranma-chan. "So what's it like?"
"What? Oh, changing back and forth?" Minako nodded yes. "You get
used to it. I suppose I probably made Steven uncomfortable sitting in
front of him without a shirt on."
"I bet you were turning him on and he didn't want to admit it."
Ranma-chan squirmed a bit when Minako said that.
"I don't want to turn guys on. I get hit on enough by men without
having to encourage them." Ranma-chan sighed. These Senshi are all so
horny, they probably can't understand why I wouldn't want that.
Minako ran a hand along Ranma-chan's shoulders. She shuddered
faintly and leaned over a bit. "You're very sexy. I can't
blame...hey...you were at that slumber party, weren't you?"
Ranma-chan blushed. "Yeah. Along with two of my fiancees...Now
you know why I was so embarrassed."
Minako giggled. "Ohhh...you are so sneaky! Heh! There's a lot of
guys who would KILL to see women run around in their underwear."
"Not me. If I wanna see a naked woman, I can take off my clothing
and get a bucket and a mirror. Not to mention, Akane, Ukyou, and Makoto
pretty much meet my ...needs." Exceed my needs, really, she thought.
Though not my wants. She looked over at Minako and felt her body tingle
as she gazed up and down Minako's mostly naked form. At least I don't
get turned on by guys when I'm a woman. Well, not much, she admitted in
a rare moment of honesty.
"So I don't turn you on at all?" Minako said, clearly dissappointed.
Ranma-chan reached over and slid an arm around Minako and up her
side to gently touch one of Minako's nipples with a finger. "I didn't
say that. I said I don't need to get my kicks by sneaking into a slumber
party. Mom forced me to go."
Minako blinked. "You've got an interesting mother..."
"She doesn't know about my curse. She thinks my female form is
Akane's cousin." Ranma-chan felt Minako quiver as she continued to idly
tease Minako's nipple. She smiled and felt her own body responding to
Minako's closeness. While Ranma-chan preferred to have sex as a guy, she
had come to appreciate her female form's potential for experiencing
pleasure as well. Makoto and Ukyou had made certain of that.
Minako pulled Ranma-chan up into her lap and...well, you can
imagine what happened next. They wouldn't tell me, but they were sure
smiling afterwards...
***************************************************************************
The next morning, Minako woke up with Ranma-chan still cuddled up to
her. This isn't my bedroom, she thought. Which is a good thing...Mom
would freak. She looked down at Ranma-chan and gently tugged her
pig-tail. "Wake up, sleepyhead."
Ranma-chan stirred faintly. "Five more minutes..." Minako smiled
and gave her five more minutes. I hope Ranma doesn't get in any trouble
for this...I know Akane is the jealous type...She woke Ranma-chan by
squeezing her right buttock. Ranma-chan started awake. "Makochan...hey,
you're not Makochan!"
Minako smiled. "Yep!" She kissed Ranma-chan on the cheek. "You
were very good last night."
"I...I...we...did I really get hit in the...? Did we...and..."
"Yeah. Wanna do it again?"
Ranma-chan fainted.
**************************************************************************
Ranma-chan opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. Steven,
clad only in a towel blinked as Ranma-chan, still butt naked, turned on
the hot water and stepped into the shower, turning back into a guy.
Ranma winced slightly, then got some soap and started bathing himself.
"Uh...I...uh..."
"Oh, hi, Steven. I'll be done in just a minute."
"Do you always wander around naked?"
"Hey, we're both guys. It doesn't matter, right?"
"But you were a girl when you..."
"Only my body. My soul is still male and that's what counts." I
hope it stays male, anyway...
"Right. Do you and Makoto and Ukyou normally...umm..." Steven
wasn't sure how to put this.
"Yeah. Ukyou went to go visit her dad or she would have been here
last night. I guess normally it's just you and Minako?"
"Well, there was that time with Usagi and Rei and Mamoru and Minako
and me...that was interesting." Steven blushed.
"So they were...in the tub..." Now Ranma blushed.
"What?"
"Nevermind...Minako...she's very good in bed." That wasn't what I
meant to say! Ranma wondered if he would ever learn to control his mouth.
Steven blushed more. "So is Makoto...uhm..."
They both began to laugh nervously.
Meanwhile, in the hallway, Makoto and Minako stood, wrapped in
towels, waiting to use the bathroom. "What are they laughing about?"
Makoto asked.
"Who knows what men do in bathrooms...or why it takes them so long."
***************************************************************************
Nabiki sighed. Another lonely night, another lonely day. Everyone
except her and Kasumi were having sex like crazed weasels lately. She
contemplated going and seducing Kunou, just to prove she had some sex
appeal, then rejected the idea in favor of trying to find someone worth
seducing. She started making a list. "Ranma Ryouga Dr. Tofu Mousse
Mr. Sao..no, definitely not that one. That Steven guy, that other
guy...the cute bishonen one...The baseball team...hmmm...That guy down at
the arcade...a cute college student...could have money. Maybe I should
seduce Ranma just to be able to blackmail him...naaah, he's broke. That
bishonen...now, he could be fun...Yeah. I just have to find the right
angle..."
***************************************************************************
Ryouga woke up...somewhere. It was awfully crowded, wherever it
was. It certainly wasn't Akane's bed where he went to sleep. Suddenly,
he dimly remembered getting up to get a snack and falling asleep on the
way to the kitchen. He seemed to be crammed into a really tiny space.
With effort, he found a door and opened it and tumbled out. He was
fell out of...a cupboard? Nearby was a bed, in the middle of the room.
The bedhead was full of manga, as was a bookshelf desk in one corner.
The walls were a pastel purple colour, the curtains silver, and the
carpet creamy. There were a few posters on the wall of various anime
series and what looked like a cel of Kunou of all people. A second
glance also revealed a pair of Egyptian style paintings on what looked
like papyrus. Ryouga wondered if this was somewhere in the Kunou
mansion or if maybe Nabiki had heavily redecorated.
--------------------------- Basically it's like this -
I a I I b I I I
I----- ---------- I I ====== - the door
* I I I I ****** - window
*--I I I I I
* cI I d I I e I a - bookshelf
*--I I I I I b - bedhead/nightstand
* ------- I I c - little table
I -----I d - bed
I------ ---------- I e - cupboard
I f I I g I I f - desk/bookshelf
---------------------====== g - chest of drawers with mirror
--Map Excerpted from "Lifestyles of the Not-so-rich and Famous,
Australian Edition." (C) 1996, Robin Bleach.
Ryouga looked some more and saw some books in English. He had a
sudden sinking realization of exactly where he was.
The door opened and a petite young Australian lady walked in. She
had hair a little longer than Akane, dark brown in color, and large brown
eyes. She was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. She smiled evily. "Ryouga-sama!"
Ryouga recognized his high priestess and prepared to experience a
level of H far beyond normal human tolerances. Especially after she
opened the door and all the other acolytes came in....
Go read one of Caroline's stories if you're REALLY curious :)
Gaijin in Nerima, perhaps...
***************************************************************************
Dark Queen Belldandy sat in her fortress of evil domesticity,
contemplating the best course of action from her dark throne, while also
mending General Keiichiite's cape. It had been damaged on his latest
venture, and you just can't trust youmas to do a Dark Queen's work.
Dark Queen Belldandy had perhaps the only throne ever made with a
sewing machine incorporated into it, which made her work much easier.
She sung a happy little song about stolen life force while she worked.
An idea came to her. She smiled in a kawaii evil way.
"General Bailsite! General Rachlite! Come to me at once!" she
said to the air.
There was a tap on her right shoulder. She turned, but no one was
there. Faint laughter rang out from her left. Turning again, she saw
Bailsite and Rachlite. "Howdy, Dark Queen Belldandy-sama." Rachlite
simply smiled, laughter barely supressed.
"Do not taunt the happy fun Queen," DQ Belldandy said. "Those who
the gods would destroy..."
"Are forced to work at Wal-Mart. Yes, yes. How can we serve you,
Dairy...uh Dark Queen Belldandy?" Bailsite said.
Dark Queen Belldandy frowned. "So far, our efforts to deal with
the Sailor Senshi have almost uniformly failed, especially since their
alliance with these...marital artists."
"That's martial artists."
"Not to hear Urd speak of them. But anyway, what we need is
leverage..."
"I'm afraid Bailsite and I aren't really skilled at corporate
buyouts," Rachlite said. "How about if we blow up their house instead?"
"What I mean is we need a lever with which to move them. A
hostage. I want you to create a diversion for the Senshi, then kidnap
one of the less competent inhabitants of that dojo, such as Nabiki,
Kasumi, or Mr. Tendo. We can use one or all of them as leverage to draw
the Senshi and their allies into a trap."
"Hmm. We could put a huge image over the city and challenge them
to a duel."
"It's been done," Rachlite pointed out.
"We could dress up Rachlite as Sailor Moon and then..."
"It's been done, and I have short, DARK hair. They aren't that
stupid."
"We could make a giant rabbit and hide in it and then..."
Rachlite bonked Bailsite on the head with a parallel bar made out
of Evil Energy (TM). "Enough silly plans. C'mon, I have an idea."
****************************************************************************
Up and down. Up and down. Ukyou and Ranma had a steady rythym
going. Makoto had had to stop...the two of them had worn her out.
How they could do this over and over and over amazed her. Sweat was
running down their brows and glistening all over their bodies. In
fact, Makoto was counting. "Seventy Eight. Seventy Nine. Eighty.
How can you two do this so many times? Eighty One. Eighty Two."
Ranma put down the weights, while Ukyou kept lifting. He sat up
and smiled. "This school of yours has a really nice workout set."
"You two have so much endurance...It's amazing!"
"Martial arts is good for you. We need to train you,
Mako-chan," Ranma said.
She smiled. "I think I can take care of myself."
"Yeah, but sometimes you may have to fight without being able
to..." Ranma looked around and whispered, "transform."
Makoto laughed. "I guess you and Ucchan will just have to protect
helpless old me, then."
Ukyou laughed. "I'll show you helpless tonight..." She giggled.
Makoto star-shaped "watch" began to beep. "I think I may be late
tonight..."
Ranma and Ukyou nodded. "See ya," Ranma said.
******************************************************************************
The four sisters cowered under the counter. Once they had been
powerful minions of evil. Now they had reformed...which had stripped
them of their powers. Through force of will, charm, beauty, and a lot of
luck, they had worked their way up from running a small makeup and beauty
stand to running a small beauty salon/makeup and beauty supply store.
This was going to be their second store. Unfortunately...
Youma Vidal was busily giving Rachlite a makeover while Bailsite
was doing the standard 'cackle over how much energy we've sucked out of
the poor helpless humans' routine. Unconscious customers lay everywhere.
Catsy muttered. "Are you SURE you called the Senshi Hotline?"
"Well, it used to be we couldn't get out of bed without running
into them!" Birdy replied. "It took a few tries, but yeah, I called it."
"And?"
"Some cat said they'd be here soon."
<Moonlight Rambler, by some J-pop band>
Bailsite cackled some more. "They're coming."
"How can you tell?"
"I hear their theme music starting."
The door flew open and the Sailor Senshi charged in. They all
struck poses. Bailsite yawned as they went through the usual speeches
and posing. "Rachlite, dear...I'm about to need your help."
"Be with you in just a second. Vidal-san is trimming my nails."
The usual fight soon commenced.
*************************************************************************
Elsewhere, Nabiki was in the middle of doing her accounting
homework. The Parentals were out of the house. Kasumi had gone out with
one of her high school friends, and Nabiki was all alone in the house.
What about Ranma and Akane? Akane was off on a date with Ryouga and
Shinnosuke, and Ranma had no doubt gone to make the walls shake with
Ukyou and Makoto.
Nabiki felt a brief pang of jealousy. Why did Ranma have women
swarming all over him and she couldn't even get a non-blackmailed date
for a friday night? She was so busy moping, she didn't even notice that
three youma were climbing in her window.
Youma Toast was tall with brown scraggly hair and skin that looked
like burnt toast, texture and all. Youma Cannon Fodder was very bland
looking, except for the target on his chest. Youma Wilma looked exactly
like Wilma Flintstone...if she had blue skin and her hair was on fire.
They crept up on Nabiki, who was listening to music through
headphones, chewing gum, and monitoring stock reports by shortwave
radio. She didn't notice anything until Youma Toast slipped on one of
her weights. Looking up, she noticed there were monsters in her room.
They would, of course, choose the one night everyone was gone to attack.
She sighed. "Can't you come back later? Everyone who would want to
fight you is gone for the evening."
"Actually, we're here to kidnap you, torture you, and make you call
us Edna," Youma Toast said.
"And lure the Senshi into a trap," Youma Wilma said.
"And take your cat," Youma Cannon Fodder said. "I've always wanted
a cat."
"Cat? What cat?"
"Hey, you guys said she had a cat!"
"I lied." Youma Wilma shrugged. "Will you come quietly or do we
have to beat you into a bloody pulp?"
Nabiki sighed. "I guess I'll come peacefully. Fighting isn't my
thing."
"Good. I haven't made someone listen to sixties folk music in a
long time..."
Nabiki paled. "F..F..Folk music?"
"Think Ticky Tacky Houses and Kumbaya on infinite repeat."
Nabiki began to sweat. "Not Joan Baez..."
"I dig Joan Baez," Youma Cannon Fodder said.
"I haven't fought anyone in years...but NOONE is EVER making me
listen to "If I had a hammer" EVER again!" Nabiki shook. She felt a
flashback to that awful night coming on, but managed to surpress it. No
folk music. Anything but folk music. She'd give away all her wealth to
Mother Theresa first.
"Like you can do anything about it."
Nabiki smiled. "You're about to get a treat...some of these
techniques haven't ever been seen before by anyone but me...And you'll
get to see them free of charge."
Youma Toast said, "Are you insinuating something?"
Youma Cannon Fodder said, "Enough talk! We only have so much
screen time in which to get killed! Grab her!"
Youma Wilma tried to grab Nabiki, who picked up a roll of five yen
coins. "Small Change Attack!" She fired off the coins with her thumb,
propelling them with muscles strengthened by years of scribbling in
account books and careful exercises. The youma staggered back, riddled
with small change, finally, doing the dissolve away into gray mist and
dissipate trick. Nabiki smiled. "Time for me to put the rest of you
into the red."
Youma Toast said, "Hey, you're not supposed to know how to fight!"
Nabiki laughed. "Everyone in this town knows martial arts. I'm
just not compelled to clobber everyone in sight. If you like, I'll let
you run away for only 10,000 yen."
"Well, let's see how well you can deal with the TOAST OF
ANNHILATION!" Youma Toast fired a barrage of negative energy pieces of
toast. Nabiki ducked under her desk, and only the walls were ruined.
Now she was angry. Massive property damage gets expensive.
"So, try to put me in the RED will you? I don't think so." She
grabbed a pile of papers. "Time for an audit!" She hurled a barrage of
tax papers at Youma Toast, who got papercutted to death, howling
imprecations.
Youma Cannon Fodder backed up. "Maybe I'll take you up on that
running away offer."
"The price is now 50,000 yen." Nabiki smiled. That should cover
the repairs.
"But...but..."
Nabiki reached for her pricing gun and punched out a label that
read, 'Cost 50,000 yen'. She quickly labelled Youma Cannon Fodder.
"Better hurry before your price goes up."
Youma Cannon Fodder said, "Do you accept Dark MasterCard?"
"Sure." Nabiki rang up the sale quickly, taking note of the credit
card number so she could use it for some purchases she needed to disguise
the origins of.
Youma Cannon Fodder fled for his life, forgetting that his masters
typically reward failure with death. They did.
Luckily, Dark MasterCard was not notified until AFTER Nabiki got
the yacht she had always wanted.
************************************************************************
Dark Queen Belldandy sighed. "You have failed me!"
Bailsite shrugged. "Ya win some, ya lose some. We got you lots of
life energy from the salon. We just have to find the RIGHT hostage...One
who could kill youmas by herself would just make too much trouble."
Rachlite nodded. "Give us another chance!"
"Once I get more screen time...maybe. You are dismissed. I have to
fit General Keiichite for his new uniform."
Bailsite and Rachlite vanished in a spray of gratuitous special effects.
***************************************************************************
Nabiki sat at her typewriter. Time to set her plan in motion. She
began to type...
John Walter Biles : MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu bailesu@komodo.hacks.arizona.edu
http://www.hacks.arizona.edu/~bailesu/falcon.html
P-chan ran across the field and hopped into Akane's arms. She
snuggled her little pet. "I love you, P-chan, especially with a little
apple in your mouth and that special sauce Ukyou makes." They cooked
P-chan over an open fire and made special okonomiyaki out of him. And
all was good.
--Draft of Lemon Sherbet, Episode 12