Everyone -
I'm still debating whether or not to include the last part of the "phoenix
pill" storyline in with this episode (it isn't done yet). When I started
writing it, I realized that it wasn't going to be much different from the
original, so I decided to have them stay at Maison Ikkoku (and no, they do not
have sex with those characters).
I realize that as it currently exists the episode is quite a bit shorter than
the others. I'm still not sure how much "Maison Ikkoku" stuff I'm going to
put in, though. Probably just having Kasumi talk to Kyoko, and driving
Yotsuya crazy by having him watch the Ichinose's have sex (and I'm not
including that either, so you can breathe a sigh of relief there).
Maybe I'll just postpone the "Maison Ikkoku Sex" for the other summer story
with Happosai (though the possibility of Happosai and Yotsuya teaming up is
quite mind-boggling).
JK
Ranma 1/2-Ranko 1/2: Marital Arts
A Lemon Series by J.K. Hayashi
**************
Standard copyright disclaimer regarding Takahashi, etc., etc., etc.
Standard lemon warning for those who don't like those stories or are
too young. Standard alternate universe warning for those who don't
like the genre. Standard script warning for those who don't like
script format. Standard Hayashi warning for those who don't like
reading my stories.
What has gone before:
Ranma Saotome goes to visit his fiancee Akane Tendo and her family
accompanied by his mother Nodoka and twin sister Ranko. While
there, they learn that not only are they the heirs of the Anything-Goes
School of Martial Arts, but the heirs of the Almost Anything-Goes
Marital Arts School. Ukyo Kuonji has entered the Tendo Dojo
disguised as a housekeeper named Kyoko. The twins have been
trapped in their cursed forms due to Cologne and the "Cat-Tongue".
**************
Episode 7: Cold Water Chestnut Cats
Everyone watched as Ranma bounced off the diving board and into
the water. Ranko swam across the width of the pool.
Female Student: "Say Akane, when will the twins change back?"
Akane: "Well... I'm not the one to ask."
Male Student: "Its fine by me if he stays a girl."
Ukyo watched as the rest of the class imperceptibly nodded in
agreement. Given the twins' lack of self-consciousness in their
cursed forms, she guessed she wasn't the only one sneaking peeks at
the nude body in the shower for the past two days, both male or
female. Of course, it had seemed a little ironic that their physical
education class was scheduled to go swimming right after the twins
had been "cat-tongued".
Shampoo touched Ranma on the shoulder. Because she was in her
cat form, Ranma immediately tried to get away from her. Ranko
jumped out of the water at the glimpse of a white cat. Shampoo
chased Ranma until he hit the pool wall.
Akane got the two out of the pool while Ukyo got some hot water and
poured it on Shampoo, turning her back to her human form. As she
pulled a towel around her nude body, all the boys thanked the day
that the Saotomes arrived in Nerima.
Akane: "What do you want?"
Shampoo: "Very good news! There is pill can cure 'full-body cat-
tongue' shiatsu!"
Ranma and Ranko: [confronting Shampoo] "Is that true?"
Shampoo: "Do these eyes that lie?"
The boys started to cry at the thought of a cure.
Akane: "What is it?"
Shampoo: "It Phoenix Pill."
Ranma: "Phoenix pill?"
Akane: "As in the bird that's reborn in flames?"
Shampoo: [nodding] "Champion of heat resistanca!"
Ranko: "Where is it?"
Shampoo: "Great-grandmother has it. Great-grandmother says you
to take it from her."
Ranma and Ranko: "I'm gona!"
***************
Ranma and Ranko rushed to Shampoo's restaurant, kicking the door
open and running toward Cologne, who sat behind the cash register.
Around Cologne's neck hung a large locket with 'Phoenix Pill'
engraved on the front cover. The twins reached out to grab the
locket.
Cologne jumped up, avoiding the first attack, and hit Ranma in the
head with her staff. She quickly spun in midair and hit Ranko before
she could recover.
Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyo watched as two bodies flew through the
doorway and landed in a trash can across the street. The twins
quickly scrambled to their feet and entered the restaurant again. The
sounds of fighting drifted through the doorway until the twins were
knocked into the street.
Shampoo: "You see? No way to beat great-grandmother."
Ranma: "Just you wait!"
The twins spotted the Cat Cafe's 'help wanted' flyer and ripped it off
the telephone pole.
Ranma and Ranko: "Ah-ha!"
***************
By late afternoon the news of two good-looking workers at the Cat
Cafe had already spread.
Male Student: "Let's grab something at the Cat Cafe!"
Male Student: "Yeah, like that cute new waitress I heard about."
Female Student: "Why don't we stop at the Cat Cafe?"
Female Student: "Yeah! Supposedly that new waiter is supposed to
be a real stud."
The students entered the restaurant, only to see Ranma in a cute
waitress outfit and Ranko in a tight-fitting chinese outfit.
Male Student: "Wha... its Ranma!"
Ranma: "Come on in."
Cologne: "Order."
Ranma: "Yes, ma'am!"
Ranma went to the register to pick up the order and reached to grab
the Phoenix Pill from Cologne. Cologne deflected Ranma's attacks
away. Ranko came to join her brother in his attempt.
Cologne felt invigorated. It had been a long time sinca anyone had
challenged her like these two had, either martially or emotionally.
They still weren't her match, but they had the potential to reach her
level of mastery. Cologne figured a two or three days of remaining in
their cursed forms would be enough to spur them when she told them
about the "Chestnuts" technique.
Shampoo's Father: "Order up!"
Cologne: "Hold still. Take these bowls."
Cologne quickly took bowls of hot ramen that appeared at the kitchen
counter and brought them in between her and the twins. To the
customers, it seemed that the bowls were floating in the air. But
eventually there were too many bowls and the twins were defeated.
Both Ranko and Ranma were left holding six bowls of hot ramen
each. Two on each arm, one on their head, and the last on a stick
held by the teeth. The customers clapped at the performanca.
Ranko and Ranma: "Old Ghoul!"
Cologne: "Deliver them quickly or you'll spill hot broth all over
yourselves."
Cologne smiled to herself and went back to smoking her pipe.
Victory was hers!
***************
Cologne watched as the twins latest attempt to get the Phoenix pill
ended in failure and they were caught with delivering the bowls of
ramen while spinning them on top of the sticks that they had used in
their attempt.
The boy's 'wife' - she had ferreted the truth from Shampoo - Akane
Tendo entered the restaurant. Cologne could sense untapped
potential in the girl. Not the potential of Ranma or Ranko, but still
better ability than the average amazon, and that was saying
something for the soft culture of Japan.
By now Cologne realized that Shampoo was probably very happy
with her 'blood family'. Even though she had been allowed to 'sneak
out' only twice more sinca the night they arrived in Nerima, both
times she had come homa the next morning with the look of the
sexually satisfied. Cologne was worried that Nodoka seemed
unconcarned that Cologne was finding out the secrets of Marital Arts
- but knew that part of it must be because of Shampoo's feelings for
Ranko.
Cologne knew that Shampoo had started drinking the contraceptive
tea. She had helped adapt that recipe for japanese herbs when she
gave it to her own lover, a hundred and thirty years ago.
Shampoo had even repeated to her the first lesson verbatim: "Lesson
1: Because the male will almost always achieve orgasm, the
successful sexual encounter is incumbent on the orgasm of the
female. To this end, the initial lessons of recognizing the signals
given by your lover are philosophically different for the male and
female. The male must learn to control himself, the female to
abandon herself to the stimulation, while both remain responsive to
the other..."
Cologne decided it was time to see if her impressions about the twins
were correct.
Cologne: "Students! Come hera!"
Cologne led the twins and Akane outside, where Shampoo had built a
small fire.
Ranma: "Why do you wanna make a fire in this heat?"
Cologne: "Shampoo! Hand me those!" [takes bag from Shampoo]
"You see that I have a bag of chestnuts." [throws some
chestnuts into the fire] "Watch very carefully."
Cologne grabbed the chestnuts and removed them from the fire. The
twins looked at her with determination, knowing that she was
challenging them to do the same.
Shampoo: "Ah! Is legendary technique of 'Chestnuts Roasting On
Open Fire'!"
Akane: "I couldn't even see her hands!"
Cologne: "If you can master this... snatching the Phoenix Pill will be
child's play."
Cologne laughed as she left for the restaurant. The twins quit their
jobs.
***************
Soun: "Everybody ready?"
Akane: "Ready, father."
Kasumi: "Where are the twins?"
Nabiki: "Probably setting fires in the garden again."
Ranma and Ranko sat around a small fire. Cologne jumped into the
dojo.
Cologne: "Have you two mastered the "Chestnuts Roasting On An
Open Fire" Technique? Its been a week!"
Ranko: "Listen, old ghoul..."
Cologne: "Lookie, lookie! Here's the Phoenix pill that'll let you turn
back!"
Ranma and Ranko grabbed for the pill. Cologne dodged their first
attack and deflected the others.
Cologne: "Heh. You're still too slow."
The twins looked down at their arms. They were stamped with a red
"reject" stamps. Cologne pulled the chestnuts from the small fire to
the applause of Kasumi and Nabiki.
Cologne: "I'll see you again soon!"
Cologne laughed as she left the dojo.
Ranma: "Argh!"
Soun: "Hmmm... Ranma.... that's some lady you've gotten mixed up
with!"
Ranma: "To turn back... I've gotta master enough speed to snatch
those chestnuts!"
Akane: "But you can't! Her 'Cat-Tongue' made you too sensitive to
heat!"
Ranko: "Hot... so damn hot! What do I do? What do I do?"
Ranko pounded the ground in frustration.
Soun: "Buck up, Ranko. You'll find your cure at the fair."
Ranko: "You mean..."
Soun: "Absolutely! The fair'll help you forget about all this
craziness!"
Ranko: "Oh right. Like forgetting is going to fix anything!"
Nodoka: "Why don't you two come with me and I'll get you ready for
the fair."
Ranko and Ranko: "Yes, mom."
***************
Nodoka took out two yukatas for her children, who started to protest
when they realized which one they were to wear.
Nodoka: "Stop struggling, you two. Like it or not, you're both stuck
in your cursed forms and that means dressing appropriately
for the festival."
The twins sullenly dressed in the other's yukata.
Ranko: "Don't get mine dirty."
Ranma: "Don't tear mine up."
Nodoka: "That's enough."
Both of Nodoka's children looked down at her admonition.
Nodoka: "I know that both of you would rather be in your normal
forms, but that's no excuse for being rude."
Ranma and Ranko: "Yes, mom."
Nodoka: "All she's doing is trying to convinca you that she's a much
better martial artist than your father."
Ranma: "She is."
Nodoka: "Now, Ranma, be nice. She's hoping that you'll follow her
back to China as her students when she leaves."
Ranko: "How do you know this, mom?"
Nodoka: "It isn't that hard to figure out, dear. She wants to share
our Marital Arts secrets with her tribe. I don't think that she
would force Shampoo to return with her, but if you were to
go willingly, then she wouldn't have to worry about that
problam."
***************