OOPS, lets try this again....

OK, here is the second draft of Tenchi Muyo: Heaven and Earth, Chapter 1
Of Love and Tenchi. I really need C&C. I also want serious
"what if" questions from Tenchi. How would _you_ like the series to end?

Of course we do not intend to infringe upon any ones rights with
this document (as all of the characters are owned by Pioneer), just 
provide some good Tenchi Fanficion (which seems to be lacking at best). 

Anyways, This is the first of many chapters. We hope to make this
into a epic type Story. Once more Tenchi comes out, this document
will probably be a bit out of sync. The story continuity is based
offa the OAV's (1-13) & probably Tenchi Muyo In Love. 

Much thanks to bobkat for the rewrite, and to Pete, for some ideas. 
	-TenchiKen.

Tenchi Muyo: Heaven and Earth, Chapter 1: Of Love and Tenchi. 
Written by TenchiKen and Bobkat. 

Tenchi hated his life. Well, normally he didn't, but right now he did. It
wasn't that Tenchi hated the fact that he was living with 5 girls, most of
them constantly competing with each other for his attention. He didn't hate
the fact that he now was tending fields that were five times the acreage of
what he used to tend in order to satisfy the seemingly endless appetite for
carrots of a cabbit which was actually a spaceship.  He didn't mind the fact
that he was the 'guinea pig' of a 20,000 year-old mad scientist who looked
and acted like a slightly deranged red-headed teenager most of the time. He
didn't mind that Ryouko, one of the girls who were forever haunting him, was
a 'demon.' He didn't mind that the other girl, Princess Aeka, was forever at
war with the "demon" Ryouko. He didn't even mind that he was often caught in
the crossfire between the two girls, one side fighting with large monsters
and destructive energy bolts, the other with floating logs that often
appeared from nowhere.  He didn't mind that this morning he had contracted a
virus no one on earth had ever seen before.  However, what was going on
right now, he did mind...

Tenchi was blue when he woke up that morning, Literally. 

Tenchi gave a mild yelp of concern, and then screamed for Washuu. 

"What's wrong Tenchi-sama?" Washuu asked. 

"Well, sorry to bother you, but..." Tenchi started to respond, but when he
noticed what Washuu was wearing he forgot all about what he had been about
to say regarding his sudden illness and said, "Um, Washuu-chan, why are you
wearing a nurse's uniform?"

Washuu's eyes began to take on a strange cast as a wicked grin began to form
on her face as she began to chuckle to herself in a slightly maniacal, yet
lecherous, way.

A look of pure terror began to form on Tenchi's face and his thoughts
rapidly turned towards the various possibilities of this new crisis. Tenchi
knew that in this situation he had one of two choices. He could either run,
or stay. If he ran, he could avoid humiliation, and hope that whatever was
ailing him would go away on its own. The alternative, staying, meant that he
would have to trust Washuu to fix whatever was wrong with him rather than
make it worse, bearing the inevitable humiliation her 'cure' would bring,
and hope that she would treat him as something other than an experimental
subject. For Tenchi, this was an easy choice. He ran. Unfortunately for
Tenchi, he didn't get very far. 

Washuu, already anticipating this response, quickly pulled a device
resembling a garage door opener from her shirt and hit the large red button
on it. Suddenly, from out of nowhere, a metallic sphere the size of a beach
ball appeared, floating in the air, behind him. The ball instantly began
sprouting tentacles and had snared him before even reached the door. The
grapples on the ends of the tentacles rapidly and efficiently stripped him
of his clothing until he was left with only his boxer shorts. As a final
touch to complete his humiliation the machine placed a large metal cap with
a thick cable attached to it upon his head. The many large lights ringing
its brim began to pulsate in seemingly random patterns.

Tenchi groaned, "Why me?" and let his feelings of total defeat and
humiliation show upon his face.

"Hmmm," Washuu said, "you appear to have some sort of virus." Washuu called
up a console from out of thin air and began scanning its display. "You have
a mild fever." Washuu then took a blood sample from Tenchi and popped the
vial into a hole in the analyzer that obligingly appeared before her. She
then began her visual inspection of Tenchi's body. "Let's see. Blue
spots..." she said as she lifted the elastic of Tenchi's boxer shorts, her
eyes glazing over with lust, "all over the body." Washuu reached inside to
grasp the Tenchi-ken.

Tenchi, suddenly snapping out of his blue funk, screamed, "Waaaa! What are
you doing Washuu-chan?"

"Well," she replied, "I never did get that sperm sample I wanted from you..."

Mihoshi, who had been wondering what all the commotion was about, peeked
into the room at this point. "Ano..." she began as she took in the scene
before her. "Oh, " she continued, "are you and Tenchi playing doctor again?"

Washuu's eyes began to cross and she started to sweat, her mind unable to
cope with the sudden absurdity of it all.

A moment later Washuu recovered and walked over to look at the results of
the blood test on her console.

Ryouko, Aeka, and Sasami, with Ryo-oh-ki perched on her head, entered the
room as Washuu was entering queries on her console. They looked on in
baffled amazement at the sight of poor Tenchi. Sasami quickly covered 
her eyes. 

"Well, Tenchi," Washuu proclaimed, "you have the Jurian Flu."


"Jurian Flu? What's that?" Tenchi asked.

Washuu began to lecture in mind numbing detail upon the origins and
characteristics of the Jurian flu.

Fortunately for Mihoshi, her mind was already on other things as she pulled
her n-dimensional cube from her pocket. "I've got a good cure for that in
here somewhere." she said to herself.

Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki, losing interest in Washuu's lecture, went to see what
Mihoshi was doing.

As Washuu continued to lecture, Tenchi's, Ryouko's, and Aeka's eyes began to
glaze over with incomprehension. 

Mihoshi continued to pull out item after item from subspace and, tossing
them behind her, said, "That's not it. No, that's not it either. I know it's
in here somewhere..." Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki watched on in rapt fascination as
they wondered what she would pull out next. Ryouko and Aeka, still stunned,
were slowly being buried in a small mountain of tea mugs, various
prepackaged snack foods, really big guns, strange looking tools,
miscellaneous clothing and a surprising amount of lacy lingerie. Sasami,
spying a carrot and some of her favorite chips in the pile, grabbed them and
she and Ryo-oh-ki began to munch as they watched the pile grow in size.

Washuu had finished her lecture and was about to ask if there were any
questions, but upon noticing the blank stares of her audience, decided
against it. 

Washuu began typing in commands at her console. "Ah," she said, "here it is!
Jurian flu vaccine." She typed a few more commands and a hole into subspace
appeared next to her. She pulled a hypodermic syringe with a _really_ big
needle out of it.

Washuu began to grin in a way that Tenchi found very disturbing as she said
to him, "Now, hold still Tenchi. This won't hurt a bit."

Tenchi, eyeing the very large needle on the syringe Washuu was holding,
gulped. He didn't like this at all. "But," he reflected, "It's not like I
have a lot of choice..."

Mihoshi continued to frantically twist her n-dimensional cube. Ryouko and Aeka
were now about hip deep in the small mountain of miscellaneous items.

As Washuu began to advance upon Tenchi, brandishing the wicked looking
needle, a large mirror fell on Tenchi.

"Mihoshi," said Washuu, "would you please put that thing away? I've got a
cure right here."

"What?" replied Mihoshi, as she looked up from the task at hand, "Oh! Is
that for Tenchi?"

Washuu nodded her head.

Mihoshi's face started to cloud up, "Waaaaaah!" she wailed, "Mihoshi
couldn't find it! Waaaaaah!"

"Mihoshi," Tenchi said, "please don't cry. You did your best. Besides, it's
the thought that counts."

Mihoshi stopped wailing and said, as she sniffed back her tears, "You really
mean that?"

"Of course!" he replied.

Mihoshi immediately returned to her usual cheerful self, and said, "Thanks!"
as she started to blush a little.

Washuu started to advance upon Tenchi again when she noticed the label on
the syringe and began to read it. "Hmmm..." she said to no one in
particular, "no, this won't do at all! And it won't even replenish his
depleted astral pattern... I can definitely make something better in my
lab."

"Tenchi!" she said to him,holding out the syringe, "I'm going to make
something even better for you than this junk. I'm going to release you until
I return. Now, you just stay right here. I'll be back in a jiffy!" Washuu
set the syringe down on the analyzer and walked through a door that had
conveniently appeared only moments before.

"That's what I'm afraid of..." Tenchi thought to himself, releasing a groan
of dismay.

As soon as Washuu had left the room, Washuu's 'All-Purpose Experimental
Subject Restraint System'(TM) released him from his bondage. Tenchi slowly
crept back to his bed and crawled under the covers much like a dazed and
confused insect would crawl under a rock, seeking some small measure of
security.

Mihoshi looked behind her, noticing the pile of objects she had buried the
terrible two in, and said, "Oh my! What a mess!"

Ryouko and Aeka, both about chest deep, chose this moment to finally return
to reality. Ryouko, reacting to what she thought might be an insult, said,
"Who's a mess? I'll show you a mess!"

Ryouko began throwing the objects she was buried in at the suddenly
bewildered Mihoshi. 

Mihoshi, not understanding this turn of events at all ducked and dodged the
flying items in a seemingly random pattern. "Oh, my! What am I going to do
now?" she said.

Ryouko was starting to get really pissed now. No matter how fast or
accurately she threw things at Mihoshi they always missed her and somehow
flew into the small dark hole into subspace behind Mihoshi. Ryouko redoubled
her efforts, objects flying with blinding speed past Mihoshi as the pile of
objects surrounding Ryouko and Aeka rapidly diminished.

Ryouko was quickly running out of things to throw at Mihoshi, and quickly
began 
to survey the room to find objects that would make good ammunition (large,
heavy, and worthless). Ryouko attempted to grab Aeka to throw at Mihoshi, but 
Aeka wasen't there.

Aeka of course had other things on her mind, like staring at 'her' Tenchi
longingly.

Aeka said in her best 'poor little princess' voice "Oh! My poor Tenchi! I
will stay here to take care of you until you are better." Aeka turned to
look at Ryouko and continued, her voice dripping with venom, "It must have
been that monster that gave my poor Tenchi the flu."

Ryouko's energy ball fizzled out as she turned to face Aeka, "What?!!" she
exploded, "And what do you mean by 'your' Tenchi! Besides," she continued,
her voice now venomous, "why do you think it's called the _Jurian_ flu?"

"Go away monster," Aeka replied disdainfully, "who knows what other virii
you might be carrying. _I_ have pure royal Jurai blood. You, on the other
hand..."

"Why, you..." Ryouko replied, her rage beginning to build to an even higher
level.

Mihoshi decided that this would be a very good time to leave while she
could. She put her n-dimensional cube away, thus closing the hole into
subspace, and slipped quietly out of the room.

"Hah, do your worst" Aeka challenged, her voice still full of disdain.

Tenchi, unable to take any more of this pointless bickering, began to weep.
"Girls," he said, "please don't fight."

"Shut up!!!!" Ryouko and Aeka yelled at him in unison. "You stay out of
this!"

Tenchi hid back under the covers. Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki ducked for cover.

"You gave him the flu." Ryouko said.

"What are you talking about, you monster?" Aeka snapped back.

"I've had it with you!" Ryouko picked up the rather dangerous looking
syringe Washuu had left behind. "Take this!" she said as she jabbed Aeka
with the syringe. "Now you wont be able to make Tenchi any sicker than he
already is!" she said as she emptied the syringe into Aeka.

Aeka responded rather negatively to this. A great number of small floating
logs arranged in concentric circles materialized around Ryouko.

When the smoke finally cleared away, two smoking embers were revealed. They
vaguely resembled Ryouko and Aeka, and were surrounded by charred debris.

One of the piles of debris began to shift as Sasami and Ryo-oh-ki emerged
from it coughing. They both looked around them in shock. Ryo-oh-ki myaaed
frantically as she ran over to a nearby pile of debris and began to dig.

Sasami joined her in digging Tenchi out, yelling, "Tenchi-niichan!"

Tenchi finally emerged from the pile of debris looking rather dazed and
confused.

Ryouko and Aeka, both still looking like crispy critters, had recovered
somewhat at this point.

"Tenchi-sama, are you alright?" Aeka inquired quietly.

"Ne, Tenchi?" Ryouko chimed in.

Tenchi looked around him at what had been his room and, in total shock and
disbelief, began to cry. 

                                  *   *   *