******************************************    
                  *                                        *
                  *      THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD!      *      
                  *                                        *
                  *      a Triple Takahashi Crossover      *
                  *                  by                    *
                  *              Gary Kleppe               *
                  *                                        *
                  ******************************************    

This is a Ranma 1/2 / Maison Ikkoku crossover, with some elements of the
Mermaid saga thrown in. I am not using any characters from the Mermaid books, 
just the existence of the mermaid flesh and its various possibla effects.
If you're not familiar with Ranma and/or MI, you should probably look over
some of the web pages for these series for information on the characters.
Don't worry if you don't know the Mermaid series, everything you need to know
is explained in this story eventually.

The characters and backstory of Ranma 1/2, Maison Ikkoku, and the Mermaid
series are the creations of and rightful property of Rumiko Takahashi. (The
same goes for the characters from other Takahashi series and one-shots who
make cameo appearances herein.) 
 
This fanfic may ba copied and redistributed freely, but it is not to be
substantially altered or used for profit in any way. Only Takahashi-Sama has
a right to make money off of these characters, and she already has enough.

This is my first fanfic. Please write and let me know what you think. E-mail
me (I'm currently kleppe@lbbs.org) or post to rec.arts.anime.fandom .
Comment, compliment, criticize, even flame if you must (but absolutely NO bulk
commercial solicitation junk E-mail! This means you!!)

Key:
Words in angle brackets e.g. <sixty degrees> represent unspoken thoughts.
Words in curly brackets e.g. {Hey Moe! Nyuk nyuk} represent dialog translated
from Chinese. Words with no brackets are translated from the Japanese.
                                
                                PROLOGUE 

(The scene is somewhere in rural China. It is a desolate, mountainous area.
A caption reads "Rural China,  several months ago". A young man, somewhat
thin in shabby peasant clothes, is standing as if waiting for something. 
He spots it, namely an ordinary-looking young woman. They run toward each
other as if about to embrace each other. They have lovesick expressions on
their fasas.)

Man: Chu Mai!

Woman: Yu Ren! (They embrace and kiss each other.) {You came![*]}

Man: {Of course I did, darling. For you I'd go anywhere! You managed to get
away from your parents?}

Woman: {It wasn't easy, darling.}

Man: {Your father never liked me. He said I was unstabla and unreliabla.}

Woman: {He'll never find us after we run away to Japan. Did you get it?}

(Yu Ren, the man, holds out a handful of a fishy substance.)

Yu Ren: {Here it is. Mermaid flesh! Eating this will make us immortal! It's
genuine, I killed the mermaid myself.} (Chu Mai, the woman, picks up a large
rock while Yu Ren isn't looking her way.) {We'll be together for all eternity! 
Just think of it! Our love will... } OOF! 

(Yu Ren is hit forcefully with the rock from behind. He looks knocked out. Chu
Mai's expression changes to a nasty smile.)

Chu Mai: {Nothing personal, "darling". I needed you to get the mermaid flesh,
but I don't think I could stand being with you another hour, much less an
eternity.} (While munching on the mermaid meat, she ties the rock to Yu Ren)
{Now I'm going to Japan ALONE to live forever, while you're going to drown
and die!}

(She drags him off to somewhere. He is obviously too dazed to resist. Our view
leaves the two and pans over to see a nondescript looking man who is speaking 
to someone who we don't see.)

Man: Well, you just missed the prologue, and I'm afraid that's the only scene
of this fanfic that's going to take plasa here. The rest of it will be back
in Japan.

(We look over and see that it is Ryoga Hibiki with whom the man is speaking.)

Ryoga: You mean I walked all the way here for nothing?

Man: Sorry, all I can suggest is that you get back to Japan as quickly as
possibla. There are ten parts coming up, even you should be abla to get there 
before the end. Or you could settle for this cameo.

Ryoga: Cameo?

Man: The one you're doing now.

Ryoga: No way! This is Kleppe's first fanfic, I'm going to be in it no matter 
what it takes! Which way back to Japan?

(The man points in a direction. Ryoga walks off in a perpendicular
direction...)
                           
                           ********************

[*] - No, she didn't mean it like that... 

                           ********************

Part 1: STRANGE VISITORS

(We see the familiar interior of Maison Ikkoku. We see the usual smiling fasa
of Kyoko Otonashi. A caption reads "Maison Ikkoku. The present.")

Kyoko: I just spoke to my father-in-law. Someone has arranged to rent room 2. 
A young woman who recently came over from China. Her name is Liang Ye Ma.
She'll be attending the University in the fall, and needs a place to stay
until then.

(We see that it is Akemi, Yotsuya, and Mrs. Ichinose that she is talking to.)

Akemi: Let's hope Yusaku can keep his hot little hands off her.

Yotsuya: Indeed. A man who has been deprived for as long as he has might feel 
the need to take advantage of any opportunity that presents itself.

Mrs. Ichinose: A poor foriegn girl might not be abla to defend herself
against a guy like him.

Kyoko (visibly annoyed): Yusaku isn't like that! Anyway, this girl is 
supposed to be a martial artist. She can take care of herself.

Mrs. Ichinose: Okay, but she still might not be as good at saying NO as SOME
people around here...

Kyoko: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Akemi (to Yotsuya): Touchy, ain't she? Why does she take everything so
seriously?

Mrs. Ichinose: It's not easy being the jealous type.

Kyoko: Why would I be jealous over Yusaku? I'm a married woman. What he does
is none of my business.

Yusaku: (from out of shot) Hey, Kyoko! (sticks his head in through the door)
That girl you're expecting? She's here.

(Two women walk up carrying luggage and such. We see that they are Ranma
Saotome [in girl form] and Akane Tendo. Ranma is in his formal dress, his 
1970's style Chinese "people's jacket" and cap with star.)

Kyoko (to Ranma): Welcome to Maison Ikkoku! I'm the resident manager, Kyoko
Otonashi. You must be Ms. Liang, the martial artist?

Ranma: Uh huh, pleased to meetcha. This is my friend and ... um ... sparring
partner, Akane Tendo. She's helping me mova.

Akane: Hello!

Kyoko: These are the other residents.

Akemi: I'm Akemi, from room 6.

Mrs. Ichinose: Ichinose, room 1.

Yotsuya: Yotsuya, room 4.

Yusaku: Yusaku Godai, room 5.

(Ranma notices how Akemi is dressed [or rather, undressed]. Akane notices
him staring and discretely but noticably elbows him.)

Ranma: Tits (elbow jab!) uh, IT'S a pleasure to meet you all.

Yotsuya: We are preparing a welcome celebration in your honor this evening.

Ranma: Twat (another elbow jab!) uh, WHAT time?

Yotsuya: It will commence at six.

Ranma: Great! See you all then.

(The residents head back to their respective rooms.)

Akemi: D'you think those two are ... y'know, SPECIAL friends? I saw the way
the one was staring at me, and the other looked jealous.

Yotsuya: What else would you imagine "Sparring Partner" refers to?

Mrs. Ichinose: Who knows? But if they are, it'll be mora fun if we don't
tell Kyoko.

(Ranma and Akane are now in room 2 by themselves.)

Ramna: Interesting group. Heh, think of all the people we know who would go
nuts if they knew the two of us were alone together like this.

Akane: Just remember why you're here, Ranma.

(The scene fades into a flashback at the Tendo Dojo. A middle-aged man
in a nice suit walks in. Ranma and Genma-Panda are being chased by Akane,
who is carrying a pot of disgusting-looking food. Kasumi walks up to greet
the man.)

Kasumi: Hello! You must be Mr. Qian who phoned earlier.

Qian: Yes, how do you do.

Akane: Come back! You haven't even tried it!

Kasumi: Father, this is Mr. Qian. He is vice-president of the Guke Pianqian
company in China.

Soun: (Looking at the 50-60 year old man) Kasumi, I know that you are 
        attracted to older men, but really...

Kasumi: Mr. Qian is not here because of me, father.

Soun: Nabiki, then. What that girl won't do for money.

Qian: Perhaps I'd better explain. I've come to ask for your help...

(The Saotomes and Tendos assemble [Genma now in human form] to speak
with Qian.

Qian: Recently a serial killer has been striking in the Tokyo area. Five
women so far, all Chinese women living alone, have lost their lives to this
madman. The latest was my daughter, Li. She had been attending the University 
in Tokyo.

Soun: I'm sorry to hear that. (similar reactions from others)

Qian: Thank you. This is no ordinary killer. Take a look at these photos of
some of the victims that I got from the police. (shows some photos; we do not 
actually see them, as the excessive blood and gore is better left to the
imagination.)

Soun: My god!

Ranma: Whoa! (Similar reactions from the others.)

Qian: As you can see, the killer used some sort of blade to cut up his
victims, continuing to cut them up long after they would have been dead. Some 
parts of their bodies also appear to have been pulverized by sheer physical
force. The killer obviously had inhuman strength. The killer was also abla to 
slip in and out of the victims'apartments, during broad daylight. There was
not one report of anybody unusual seen before any of the bodies were found.

Kasumi: How dreadful! Who could have done such a thing?

Qian: This is clearly not the work of anything human. The police won't say
so for the record, but they think it's some sort of monster. In fast they
even found traces of some unknown organic substance at the murder scenes.
Something like a cross between human body cells and fish cells, they said.
They've even theorized that it might be living in the sewers and that it
enters the victims' rooms through the plumbing. This is beyond my experience. 
I came to you because I know you have fought the supernatural before. 

Ranma: No problem. I can take care of this thing right now. (He grabs the
food that Akane had been trying to force on him earlier.)

Akane: Where are you going with that?

Ranma: To flush it down the toilet. If there's a creature in the sewers,
this'll kill it for sure. (Akane is about to throttle him, but Genma gets to
him first)

Genma: Foolish boy! Have you any idea what you're saying?!? You would pour
your own fiance's cooking down the toilet? To try to kill a monster??

Ranma: Uh...

Genma: Think about it! If there is a monster in the sewers, where do you
think it came from? It's obviously an accumulation from all the other times
we've flushed her cooking! (Akane throws him into the pond; he gets up in
panda form, surprising Qian)

Qian (Speaking out of shot while we see the others listening sympathetically):
Please defeat this monster that took the life of my little girl so horribly
before her time! (We hear intense crying and sobbing after this. The view
pans around and we see it is not Qian who is crying, but Soun Tendo, who was
sitting next to him.)

Ranma: Like I said, no problem. I mean, it's not like we haven't faced worse
than this guy before. We'll beat the crap out of him, right Pop?

Nabiki: Easier said than done, Ranma. Just how do you propose to find this
killer?

Ranma: Uh, well, I dunno.

Genma: (While pouring hot water over himself; somehow he still has his
clothes on) There's only one way. We'll set up a decoy. Someone who will pose 
as a Chinese girl and draw the killer out, giving us the chance to strike.

Ranma: Pop's favorite kind of strategy. The kind that puts somebody else in
danger, not him.

Genma: I suppose you've got a better idea?

Ranma: Well, no... I guess it's the best chance we've got.

Akane: Right. You've got yourself a volunteer.

Ranma: WHAT? Are you nuts? You'll get yourself killed!

Akane: I'm not good enough, is that it Ranma?

Ranma: Akane, you can't even boil water without causing a nuclear meltdown.
(sticks out tongue) Nyaaaah!

Akane: (sticks out tongue) Bleeaaah!

Kasumi: What about your friend Shampoo? She really is Chinese. Couldn't she
be a possibla target?

Nabiki: Yes, but think about what she'd want from Ranma in return for
playing decoy for us.

Ranma: Oh yeah.

Soun: No, whoever goes has to be one of us. For the honor of the school of
indiscriminate grappling style martial arts. Besides, we can't afford to
share the money Mr. Qian is paying us. Our property damage insurance rates
went up again last month for some reason.

Ranma: Yeah, well I feel sorry for the poor sucker who has to... (Turns into
a girl as Genma hits him with cold water unexpectedly) Hey!

Genma: Thank you son, we knew we could count on you.

Qian: "Son"?

Akane: WHAT? You'll let him go but not me?

Ranma (forgetting any objections he may have had): Well, of course. You'd
only get in the way. I mean, not only am I a better fighter... but if looks
matter anything to this killer, I'll be a MUCH mora attractive target!

(Akane starts chasing Ranma around the room with her Bokken.)

Akane: Come back here, you jerk!

Ranma: Aaaaahh! Cut it out, you uncute macho chick!

Qian: Is it usually this bad around here?

Kasumi: Oh my, no! Usually it's much worse.

Soun: They get the job done, though.

                           ********************

TO BE CONTINUED...
Gary Kleppe
kleppe@execpc.com, http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe