Lightning tore across the night sky burning the scene into their
retinas once again. The clearing. The alter. The horrible book. There
were things no man was meant to know, and most of them were in that book.
The sorcerer was supposed to be coming to do some sort of ritual.
Sodoke the village elder had told them he was going to conjure a terrible
demon. He told them that he could use this demon to terrorize the
village. Most importantly he told them who could stop him.
Henkoji was a coward. He was really happy about his success in his
chosen field, cowardice. He had gone to great lengths to stay away from
conflict of any type. He had become a priest for the sole purpose of
not being near conflict. He had carefully not risen to any rank. He
frequently made vows of silence, usually right before feuds broke out or
his opinion might be asked. So he had been careful and had managed to
perfect mediocrity, until now. The stinking monastery had sent him with
these mad men. <oh yes brother Henkoji is one of our best priests> Now
he was expected to trap not only this evil sorcerer but what ever demon
he was conjuring as well. He had arranged the stones as all the texts
recommended. Now all that was left was for him to energize them and trap
the sorcerer. Now he and twenty men from the village were hiding in the
bushes and waiting.
************
His name was Valenja Tosono. He had sent all his life learning the
black art. He had learned the secrets of youth, life and death, but most
importantly he had learned the secrets of conjuring. All the villagers
feared him. And for good reasons. His life had changed when he had
bought the book, its cover twisted with age old evil. Children had
disappeared. Women had been found mutilated. And crops withered and
died. Now he was ready.
The legends spoke of a god of gods. That was all they really said.
But with careful planning and work he had found more. With the proper
rituals and sacrifices he had been able to contact those who were
revered as gods. And they who were at once terrible and beautiful to
behold, told him of their master. An ancient being from before time,
more powerful than all the gods together. A being of immense power,
and evil. They told him that he had created worlds, just to watch them
die. This was the being he sought.
Tonight, with his most recent victim he would call the great one back
to the world, and together they would help the world die. The child
kicked fitfully in its sleep. He smiled, soon child, soon.
************
Something moved in the darkness, and the men as a whole held their
breath. Was it the sorcerer? The next lightning strike revealed a new
scene to them. The sorcerer standing before the alter, holding the
book. On the alter was a naked infant, its feet bound by cord. It was
impossible to tell for sure because the sorcerer's blood red robes
obscured the view, but it seemed that the infant was asleep.
Someone prodded Henjoki in the ribs. He was transfixed by the sight.
This was bad. Not just normal evil-sorcerer-summoning-up-horrible-
monsters-from-some-hideous-book-of-demon-spells bad, but the kind of bad
that comes from summoning things that can only be aroused by the
slaughter of an innocent. The kind of things that are normally locked
away with the most powerful spells of the ancient ancestors. Henjoki
shivered. We're dead.
"now priest. before he can flee," someone whispered.
Henjoki looked at the alter, barely able to make it out in the gloom,
"he will not flee. should I wait for his demon, or shall we be done with
it now"
There was a pause, and in that thin gap of time there was the sound of
something being cut. Something organic. Something that wouldn't be able
to live without its heart attached. Then the abhorrent lightning
shattered the protective darkness to reveal a sight that would leave many
of those present mad for life. There upon the alter the sorcerer had cut
the child's skull open. Its brain was clearly exposed. The child
continued to move as if it knew nothing of what was going on. Then as
the scene began to fade from their vision there was a terrible sucking
sound as of something wet being pulled from its container, and the child
cried out. Its cry cut short, as if a hand were clamped over its mouth.
There was a low moan from those assembled, and then the sounds of
retching. Henjoki felt something warm and wet splash against his
ankle. Then he saw it. The figure hanging in the air above the alter.
It had a human shape, but in the darkness he could make out no more.
Some intuition or deep long forgotten knowledge told him something was not
right. No one could conjure forth a demon that quickly. Then, as if by
some act of heaven, Henjoki stood up. His brain did a back flip. What
am I doing. No one is going to force me to do this! They're all busy
retching! I could run away! I . . .
The words came to his lips unbidden as he walked toward the sorcerer,
"P'anghn F'hen C'quelhu Hn'tanh"
************
The demon had appeared not even half way into the ceremony. It was
nothing like he had expected. From what he could make out of its
floating form, it appeared to be a human, dressed in black. Black boots,
black pants, black coat, black shirt. Many years later the style of
dress would have been recognized as a military uniform. Then from behind
him he heard a voice. It was reciting words to a ritual that he knew
well. It was a ritual of binding. He spun around.
The voice belonged to a priest. Valenja smiled, binding rituals don't
work on the living. No, this priest was about to find himself a sacrifice
to the demon.
"Actually," began a voice like a sandpaper toothbrush, "with proper
care anything may be bound. Its all in the skill."
Valenja snapped back around. The lightning picked up its tempo,
giving the entire scene a stroboscopic air. In the strobing light he
could see the demon clearly. Its skin was black as midnight, and
possibly scaly. Its clothing was indeed black, it seemed to be a type
of symbol of rank. Attached to the coat were several tiny silver
inch long bars piercing tiny silver skulls. The demon had small inch long
horns protruding from each temple. Its hair was cut in a crew cut. As it
spoke he could see its "teeth" were little more than jagged ridges of bone.
Its eyes, they were the worst part. Those eyes were the kind of eyes that
look at your soul, and no matter who you may be, you can be sure that
they will never, ever look pleased.
************
"F'htaghn! G'hohnwa P'gwen J'he," finished Henjoki. The lightning
seemed to snap to the arranged stones. Electrical arcs leaped across the
clearing, and as they increased in intensity, everything seemed to fade
to white.
************
The King of Pain
By
Matthew Trotter
************
They were shaking him awake, "Great priest, you have done it! You
have saved the village and imprisoned the demon sorcerer!"
Henjoki looked around, things seemed much the same, except that the
demon and sorcerer were gone, and in their place was a rock about the
size of a head. It was smooth as though it were a river rock. Upon
closer examination it appeared to be speckled, but no. Those specks were
tiny runes of warding. Incredibly, the deed was done.
Suddenly something felt wrong. He heard the collective gasp of the
villagers.
"I would put that somewhere very safe were I you," said a voice that
reminded him of chewing sand.
He heard the villagers scream and saw them running in all directions.
Slowly Henjoki turned around. The demon was there, just as before.
Floating inches above the ground. Too late to run he thought.
"You needn't run from me. I think you will find a cave over that
way. It should keep the G'adjif safe for a few thousand years."
Henjoki couldn't move, the demon was telling him were to hide the
prison, but why? How had he escaped?
"Henjoki, there are things men should never know. I did not escape.
I do not need to. Time is not the liner path that you see it as, it is
a plane in which your life is a path. Hide the stone Henjoki, and return
to your monastery, you are a hero."
Henjoki watched the demon fade from sight. The cave was where the
demon told him. Henjoki considered returning as a hero. There would be
feasting, speeches, commendations . . . and the next time there was
trouble he'd be the first one they sent . . .
Henjoki was never seen again. The villagers mourned the passing of
their savior and great hero.
************
Parts of this story were inspired
by "Doomed Megalopolis", most other
parts were inspired be Rumiko Takashi.
Everything else is inspired by dementia
and Terry Pratchett.
************
"Demon! Why have you betrayed me!"
"Betrayed you? No, you have betrayed yourself. Only a fool seeks
power by destroying the world."
"Then what are your goals?! What have you achieved by letting yourself
be captured with me?!"
"My goals are pain. Haven't you noticed the pain the world is in?
All the suffering, all the misery, why would I seek to end that?"
"But now demon, you are locked away from it all. Because you could
not simply tell me of your desires! You are the fool."
"I see. And you believe there is no one here to suffer for me?"
"If there is I shall oppose you! No one will suffer for you while I'm
here, demon."
"My name is Jack. And I have but one last question for you. Who is
going to stop your suffering," saying this the demon Jack faded from sight.
Valenja looked around. There was nothing but darkness. Well that was
a start, he was quite fond of darkness. Still, he would have to learn
the ways of light if he was to oppose this demon named Jack. Heh, what
kind of name was Jack. No proper demon would be named Jack. Demon
names were twisted multisylibic constructs that felt like trying to
pronounce the entire Latin dictionary all at once.
A voice somewhere deep inside his skull replied, <Jack Death>
There was something about that simple name, about the way it was
said. It seemed worse than all he other conglomerate names of demons that he
knew. Something about the name, Jack Death, said, "Try to be impressed, the
others try so hard." The thought of other demons trying to live up to someone
made Valenja shiver.
The horizon brightened, then slowly, the sun rose. Its golden light
spilling over the barren sandy waste like syrup. Valenja shifted,
something was not right. This is a prison. It contains an infinite void
of nothing. That was the point. Anyone trapped there for long would go
mad and destroy themselves. It wasn't supposed to have a desert in it.
<I've created worlds to watch them die, remember?>
************
"Ranma! Come back here and die like a man!"
"Give me a break Ryoga," said Ranma dodging another flurry of attacks,
"your too slow to beat me."
"How dare you insult me! I'm here to kill you NOT beat you!"
Akane put her chin on her fist. It had happened ever day this week.
Every day Ranma and Ryoga got in a fight. At the dojo. Every day Ranma
beat Ryoga. And the next day Ryoga was back, yelling for blood. She
sighed. What had Ranma done this time. Honestly, the boy couldn't stay
out of trouble. He probably stole Ryoga's girl friend. That sounds like
something Ranma would do. And with all the other girls he had fawning
all over him. It made her mad. Why did she have to be engaged to this
womanizing jerk. He could at least have the common decency to flirt with
them behind her back, but no . . . .
Ranma blocked another punch, this was pathetic. What was Ryoga mad
about now? It was always hard to tell. Ryoga could be mad about
anything. Ranma believed that Ryoga probably wanted to beat up Santa
Claus for not getting him the right gift one year. Duck, block, block,
punch, punch, duck, leg sweep. What ever he'd done, Ryoga was sure mad as
hell about it.
Nabiki looked up from the homework she was trying to study. Ranma and
Ryoga were still at it. Normally this was a welcomed diversion, but this
was the fourth time this week. There were diversions and then there were
threats to her grades. Ranma and Ryoga had just elevated themselves to
the threat level. There had to be something she could do to break this
up . . . hmmm, maybe a nice bucket of cold water?
"oh my, Akane, do you feel all right?"
"I'm fine Kasumi," growled Akane.
Or maybe a red hot Akane, "You know, Akane, I think those two like
fighting in front of you."
Akane looked at Nabiki, "What is that supposed to mean?"
"You know, showing off how mocho they are. Its supposed to impress the
girls."
"Oh, that's really sweet, Ranma's fighting for Akane," crooned Kasumi.
"What! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!"
"Now, now, Akane. Ranma is your fiancee," if there was one thing you
could count on to get Akane really mad it was reminding her that Ranma was
her fiancee.
Ryoga ducked another kick. Damn it, how did he get so fast? Block,
block, kick, punch, charge. It didn't matter, he would have his
revenge! How could Ranma do that to him?! Turning him to a pig and then
throwing him in HER yard. Ryoga shivered. It was horrible. Even now
the voice haunted him. <Oh Charlotte you've come back!> Ranma would pay!
Oh boy what a find, what a find. He had been drooling over the picture
for about a week now and it was still his favorite. It had been sitting
there on Nabiki's desk for the taking. There were other pictures in the
black book, but he had better pictures than that in his room. But this
one! This was a masterpiece! His two favorite sweeties caught in an
embrace! It was a picture that was worth a thousand panties! Maybe even
a hundred thousand! Then again, this was kind of shaky ground. A
thousand panties was one thing, but a hundred thousand, that was nearly
half his collection. Giving up all those panties for one picture would
be a big risk, what if you lost it or the wind . . .
From up on the roof he heard a cry of anguish. Ranma dodged another
series on punch kick combinations. It was definitely the old pervert, he
was chasing a scrap of paper around the roof. Duck, block, punch, kick.
What was it his nightly route of people to harass?
"Ranma! Pay attention while I kill you idiot!"
"Aw come on Ryoga, I gotta find something to keep me awake. I could
fight you in my sleep."
"Shut up and DIE!"
Damn wind. Where had it come from? Happosi stalked closer to the
picture. It was resting gently on the roof a couple of inches away.
Now, thought Happosi, there is no where for you to run my pretty. He
leaped. The wind whipped it away, over the edge. The wind is a cat, and
it likes to play with its prey.
Ranma knocked aside another of Ryoga's punches, this is getting boring ...
Just then the scrap of paper floated between them. It was like
something alive, you could almost picture it with a wingspan, gliding
like an eagle. They turned as one and watched it float over the wall.
They looked at each other briefly. It was the quick kind of look that
said, "Don't ask me."
"You know you two have been fighting for hours," began Akane sweetly.
"Uh," Ranma knew something bad was going to happen. Akane never
sounded sweet unless she had cooked something that she wanted to poison
him with.
"Its Ranma's fault, you see," Ryoga didn't know the early warning
signs, he just thought Akane was being considerate.
"so QUIT IT!!!!!"
Ranma was caught off guard by the punch, lost in his desperation to
think somewhere to hide from Akane's cooking. As he lost his balance
Ranma noticed the pond out of the corner of his eye. Figures.
Ryoga watched the sky go by as he fell, he didn't understand it.
Akane was normally really nice to him, why would she punch him. This was
Ranma's fault. Another thought occurred to him, I'm falling into the
pond. In front of Akane. I'm going to die. POW! Someone punched him
in the back of the head. It was a good punch, it countered his backward
motion. Ryoga regained his balance.
Spaloosh! Ranma sat in the water. It was cold, she shivered. That
tomboy! Why did she have to go and push her in the water. She had almost
knocked Ryoga into the water too. Ranma wasn't certain why he'd bothered to
save Ryoga, but it was to late to take things back. Besides, knowing that
tomboy she'd blame Ranma for Ryoga being a pig.
"You won't escape me that easily my pretty," cried Happosi springing
off the roof. Off Akane, off Ryoga, POW! Ranma must have seen him
coming. His flight path gave him one last fleeting view of his photo as
it was blown out of sight. Well at least it didn't cost him any panties.
"Ranma, how dare you hit me in the back of my head!"
Ranma leapt to her feet, "What?! You ingrate I just saved you from a
fate worse than death!"
A fate worse than death? All Ranma had done was knock Ryoga away from
the pond. Something was going on here, and Akane was going to get to the
bottom of it, "What do you mean a fate worse than death Ranma?"
"Er, uh, nothing Akane."
"RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE," Ryoga lunged at Ranma. Ranma picked up a
rock and held it in front of herself. She looked really cute and
defenseless like that. Ryoga really hated it when Ranma looked cute at
him. Heh, she must have forgotten this!
It had been a decorative rock. It was smooth and speckled. It was
perfect for a pond ornament. The trouble was, that it didn't make a good
shield. It shattered, spraying Ranma with rock shrapnel. The force of
the blow was incredible, it flung her across the yard into the wall.
Ranma shook her head, there was a man hovering in the air just above the
surface of the pond. He was dressed all in white. White shoes, white
pants, white button down shirt. His hair was a dusty blond, and his
features were sharp yet attractive. The aura of power that radiated from
him was terrifying.
Ryoga shook his head, the blast had thrown him through a wall of the
dojo. Standing, he looked outside, Ranma must have . . . must have . . .
have . . . there was a man in white standing over the pond. Where was
Ranma? That man looked like he might know . . .
When Ryoga hit the rock, there had been a flash of light, a blast of
wind and then there was this guy hanging over the pond. Akane could see
Ranma starting to get up, the blast had thrown her against the wall. The
man turned to Akane before she could look for Ryoga and spoke.
"Dear lady," he said in a voice like music, "did you notice whence the
demon fled?"
Akane blinked, this guy sounds like Kuno, "What do you mean by 'my
dear lady'?"
He looked at her the way you might look at a particularly interesting
insect, "It was a form of address. Quickly now, the demon."
"What did you do with Ranma," shouted Ryoga charging. He had failed
to notice Ranma climbing to her feet over by the wall[1].
The man watched Ryoga charge, he watched him leap at him, and as Ryoga
drew close he put out his right hand, the palm facing Ryoga. Ryoga
stopped moving, hovering in the air for a split second before falling
into the pond. Akane's jaw dropped. Ryoga turned into a pig! A little
black pig, like P-Chan! The man was a sorcerer, "You turned Ryoga into a
pig! Why did you turn him into a pig? What did he ever do to you?!"
Ranma sauntered up, at least Akane hadn't figured it out, "Hey Mr.
Wizard, neat trick. But if your so hot, lets see ya turn him back."
Akane plucked Ryoga/P-Chan out of the pond, "Its ok Ryoga, this wizard
is GOING to turn you back, RIGHT?"
He looked from Akane to Ranma and back. He had no idea why they
seemed to think it was he who had cursed the boy. It was obvious to him
that it had been some outside force. Oh well, it was time to start
draining the misery out of the world, and he might as well start here,
"This children, is not my curse, but I can relieve it."
"Who are you calling child you . . ." this was as far as Ranma got
before the wizard made some quick, almost imperceptible hand motions and
Ryoga returned to human form.
He was cured! The wizard had turned him back, without hot water! No
more being a pig no more P-Chan . . . so, there was a down side. He
heard Akane scream. What now? He could see Ranma pointing into the
pond. Hey those were his cloths in there. OH NO!
*
[1] Ryoga was quite good at not noticing things. It helped his sense of
direction. If you don't look around, then you can concentrate on where
your going. It didn't work, but then Ryoga was never one to give up on
something after the first three hundred thousand failures.
************
"Oh so where is this bad thing? Well?" If there was one thing in the
whole world that made Fellowship want to gloat it was talking to
Sarcasm. He was always right. It was irritating. Well today he was
wrong. Nothing bad had happened. In fact lots of good things had
happened. That guy, she wasn't sure who he was, had come out of the
rock. He had fixed Ryoga. He was sure to fix Ranma. Then Ranma could
concentrate on winning Akane's heart.
Even Emotion was smirking at him, oh boy. Apparently those two
didn't know what you normally bound to a stone. Demons, devils, evil
sorcerers. Doesn't any one pay attention any more. The sorcerer
appeared asking about a demon, "You two really don't get it do you? Good
people don't get shoved in a rock for thousands of years. That thing was
covered in runes of warding. Doesn't that tell you something?"
"You're just jealous because Fellowship knew it would be ok."
"Oh, that must be it. I guess I hadn't noticed, I was too busy
trying to figure out what demon that guy is looking for and why he was in
a rock with it.[1]"
Fellowship frowned, she had forgotten about the demon. She hadn't
sensed anything particularly evil when the rock had broken. Sure the guy
radiated anger and power, but he'd been stuck in a rock what could you
expect?
"Sarcasm's mad, Sarcasm's mad. He knows he's wrong."
He leaned forward, "Sure, then you can tell everyone that I'm busy
sulking in the library. And be sure you tell them that I'm not looking
up the guy in the rock or the demon. Tell them I'm only in there to
sulk. Oh and by the way, in case you should wonder, I think the demon is
HIM."
Emotion stepped back. She hated HIM. HE scared her, "You're saying
that to scare me."
Sarcasm leaned closer, "Yea, you go ahead and believe that."
*
[1] Gods have the potential to know everything. They can run time
forwards, and backwards. The general problem with this is that
accelerating time is like fast forwarding a video tape. It takes
forever and you have to stop and watch the interesting parts.[2]
[2] And then of course rewinding to find out what happened to get all of
that started. And eventually you get tired of it and go have a nap. This
is why gods tend to live in the "present[3]".
[3] Or at least the last place they stopped fast forwarding.
************
Ranma stood there frozen. Ryoga had jumped back in the pond to get
his clothes. He didn't change. Could this be it? The cure for the
curse? "Who, who are you?"
He turned and looked at the red head, she too was under a curse, "I am
called many things, but you, dear lady, may call me Morphine."
"Morphine? Can you get rid of my curse too?"
"But of course, it would only be right," Morphine began gesturing, it
didn't take long.
"I'm cured! I gotta tell Pop! I . . . hey wait a minute, if you can
uncurse me, can you help Akane too?"
"Excuse me Ranma, but what is that supposed to mean," asked Akane
rolling up her sleeves.
"See everything she cooks turns to poison. You gotta help her,"
continued Ranma oblivious to the raging Akane behind him.
"Oh, is that so Ranma!"
Morphine looked at the girl Akane, the comment really seemed to hurt
her. She was under no curse. <hmmmm, mental note, don't eat Akane's
cooking.> This would be a true test of these new skills. Morphine gently
touched Akane on the forehead.
It was gone. All the anger. All the pain. In its place there was
nothing. It had simply drained away leaving an empty hole. And slowly a
tired feeling washed over her. Why bother fighting with Ranma. There
was no point. Either he cared or he didn't. He wasn't the only man in
the world.
"Ranma how dare you insult Akane's cooking," yelled Ryoga pulling on
his shirt.
"Akane," Ranma waved his hand in front of her face.
"Turn around and die like . . ."
Morphine touched Ryoga. The boy was full of anger, sadness, guilt,
self loathing. It was incredible how full of pain he was. It felt like
a burning black ball of hate. Morphine smiled, he had felt this way many
times in the past. It was a pain he could deal with.
"Hey, Akane? Are you in there?"
"I'm fine Ranma. I just feel a little tired, that's all."
She sounded tired. She sounded like she was really tired. Not just
physically, but tired of everything. Ranma watched her trudge back to the
house. Then he turned to Morphine, "What did you do to Akane?!?"
Morphine turned back to the boy named Ranma, who so recently had been
a red haired girl, "I have taken the pain away, that is what I do."
Ranma was about to raise the point that Akane didn't seem to be
herself when he noticed Ryoga. He was standing there looking off in to
space. Lost in himself.
"I must go. The demon is about and I can not let it go unchallenged."
"WHAT DEMON!?! What are you talking about? What dija do to Akane
and Ryoga?"
"The demon lord Jack Death. It is my fault he is here I suppose, but
fear not I will destroy his plans."
"Are you insane?! This ain't the Ryoga I kno . . "
Ryoga put a hand on Ranma's shoulder, "It's ok Ranma. I just feel a
little tired that's all."
Ranma fell over.
Morphine floated to dry ground and walked out the gate.
"Hey Ranma, are you ok," asked Ryoga offering him a hand.
Ranma stared at Ryoga, "Ryoga? Are YOU ok?"
"Sure," Ryoga replied pulling Ranma to his feet, "I'm not sure if I'll
be able to find my way back home, do you think I could stay here tonight
and try to get there tomorrow?"
Ranma fell over again.
Ryoga frowned, "Are you sure you're ok Ranma?"
************
"Fellowship?"
"Yes, Emotion?"
"Why is Ryoga acting weird?"
"I, I think it has something to do with that Morphine person."
"Fellowship?"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared."
"Lets go find Sarcasm."
"ok"
************
"Come on Joe, this is how HE always gets around us. HE picks a time
that will take forever to go back to and starts screwing around there.
You know this could screw up the continuity. Doubt and I barely patched
up Fellowship's last screw up, this could trash the whole thing again."
Puff, "We're talking about The Man here. Do you think he doesn't know
what he's doing?"
"Look Joe, all I'm asking is for you to help me out here. You and I
both know that I can keep rewinding till I find out what the hell is
going on. All I want you to do is help me cut some time and get there
and back before anyone gets hurt."
Smoke ring, "If I jump time for you[1], you gonna owe me big."
Sarcasm took out a carton of cigarettes and held them up for inspection.
"Hmmmmm, 1935, good year. All right my man, but don't spread it around."
*
[1] Where all gods can fast forward time, as a god of time, Joe has the
power of track search.
************
They found Sarcasm and Joe in the library, just like Sarcasm had
said. As they walked in Fellowship thought they seemed to flicker, just
briefly. What were they up to? She decided to probe Sarcasm's mind.
<Fuck. That was no fuckin' help.
If HE didn't escape then where
the hell was he when the stone
cracked? Fellowship quit reading
my mind.>
Her heart started pounding. Something bad was going to happen. Sarcasm
was always in a bad mood. It was his natural state of being. But you
could tell how he really felt from how bad a mood he was in. It was
amazing to her what a range of emotions could be displayed by the way
someone grumbled. It was really bad when he was direct.
They were scared. Anyone could tell when Emotion was scared, she would
start holding Fellowship's hand. If Fellowship was scared she would get
really quiet and wait for someone to take charge of the situation. They
always managed to find him. Sarcasm sighed inwardly to himself, this is
what he needed. Two nervous kids following him around, "I suppose you
came in here to watch me sulk?"
"Sarcasm, I'm scared," whimpered Emotion.
He hated it when she did that. It always made him feel guilty. This
is how he always ended up with theses two following him around, "What's
wrong now?"
"Morphine is looking for HIM."
Sarcasm looked at Joe, "Spill it."
"You know how it is for mortals, man," drag, "A couple thousand years
with him and I'd go nuts."
Sarcasm turned back to his sisters, "Then Morphine is the guy from the
rock?"
Emotion hid behind Fellowship, "He did something to Ryoga."
"Fellowship, what happened."
She almost jumped out of her sandals, "He, he . . . he made Ryoga be
nice."
"Gee that oughta make your day. Maybe he can polish up the destinies
of everyone else in the world too."
Fellowship looked like she wanted to hide under a table.
************
First Akane, and now Ryoga. Whatever that Morphine guy did to them he
was gonna get his. There was no way Ranma was going to be able to stand
Akane if she kept on acting like this. Every time he tried to start
something she would just look at him and say, "Ranma, whether we like it
or not, you and I are engaged. It would be easier to like you if you'd
quit trying to start fights." It even had Nabiki worried, and she was
hardly phased when they thought Akane was a duck.[1] There had to be
something that would bring Akane out of it. She was out on the porch with
Ryoga and Kasumi planning for the wedding. This was bad. Their fathers
had patted them on the back and congratulated them on making the right
choice. And Soun had cried. Of course.
"Ranma," whispered Nabiki, "come on."
Ranma looked over at Nabiki, "Why are you whispering?"
"Shhhh. Daddy will go nuts if he finds out where were going."
Ranma looked at Nabiki like she had suggested going to a sleep cheep,
"uhhhh. Errrr. Ummmm"
"Don't be dense, we're going to see Cologne," she whispered motioning
him out the back door."
*
[1] Ranma would be hard pressed to see the difference, but then Ranma was
not the financial wizard Nabiki was. When your sister is turned into a
duck, you can begin a charity fund. When your sister suddenly mellows
out into a good little house wife, the margin for profit is zero.
Though, she might be able to start a save Ranma's stomach fund . . .
especially if Akane didn't get mad and just kept cooking.
************
There have been many card games played throughout time, most of them
were played in saloons, by men bearing a remarkable resemblance to Kenny
Rogers or Mel Gibson. Many others were played in dingy apartments by
people named Oscar, usually to the dismay of his room mate Felix[1]. At any
rate all these games had one thing in common. They all failed to include
three people:
A young angry man with a spiky red dye job, five metal stars stuck to
his forehead and a wardrobe from Billy Idol's "Dancing With Myself"
video.
A young depressing man with long brown hair, a tie-dyed T-shirt, and a
way of mopping about everything in general.
A young nervous man with short brown hair, the latest hippest wardrobe
(usually black), an acute paranoia and a degree in sociology.
Actually there were a lot of other people left out of these card games,
but they are pretty much irrelevant since none of them were in on the
card game that Sarcasm interrupted.
He found Anger playing cards with Despair and Doubt. (You always find
things in the last place you look.) Anger didn't really strike Sarcasm as
the cards type, violent and psychopathic maybe, but cards? No.
"Got any queens, Despair?"
"No. Go fish."
"Look Neil," shouted Anger leaning over the table, "if your holding out
on me, I'm gonna ram this deck of cards up your nose."
"Don't shout at me Vivian, your really bumming me out. Its not in the
script. Your supposed to say damn and draw a card."
"Look Vivian, you can't even stay in character for our brief cameo."
"Oh yea, Doubt, who is being badly portrayed by Rick, then why did you
just call me Vivian if your so wonderful?"[2]
You just can't get good help these days, "Excuse me."
Doubt hid his hand from view, "Yes what is it Sarcasm? Can't you see
we're busy right now?"
"You know Doubt, I've never had busy defined in such an abstract
form? Thank you for bringing this wisdom in to my life."
"Oh, well your welcome."
"That was an insult you git," growled Anger drawing a card.
"Nobody asked you Vivian," snapped Doubt.
"Anger," suggested Fellowship helpfully.
"Oh, right. Nobody asked you Viv. . . Anger."
"Well what did you want Sarcasm? I'm thinking of killing myself you
know."
"Well Despair, my original intent was to solicit rope, but since your
feeling down, I'm going to let you take care of Fellowship and Emotion
while I go talk to The Man."
"Oh heavy. You can't lay this on me. I'm too young to take on these
responsibilities. Why don't you ask Anger."
"OY! Neil you stinkin' hippie I'm gonna . . ."
"Hey Anger, take care of the kids for me."
"Do I look like the nurturing type?! I ain't baby sitting!"
"What's wrong Viv . . . Anger, afraid of a little woman's work?"
"Oh great Rick, er Doubt, then you'll do it? Thanks, nice talking to
you. Gotta go. Be back soon. Bye," Sarcasm stalked out of the room.
Emotion looked around the table, they were all her brothers, she
didn't know what the problem was, "I like 'Go Fish', can I play too?"
"Bugger," mumbled Anger, "Rick I'm killing you after this."
*
[1] Not the cat. Felix T. Cat rooms with Sonic T. Hedgehog.
[2] If you don't get it, go find someone with some tapes of "The Young
Ones". Then get two VCR's and copy the tapes. Then mail me a copy.
Finally, find a sturdy metallic object to bang your head against for an
hour, and if this clears everything up, then its a good bet your monitors
on the fritz.
************
"Let me see if I have this strait, future-son-in-law. A man appeared
out of a rock."
"Yes."
"And then cured you and Ryoga of your respective curses."
"Yes."
"And then changed Akane and Ryoga into normal sane people?"
"Yes."
"And you don't like Akane to act like a 'tired old woman'?"
"Yes."
"I think I have a solution."
"Yes," said Ranma tentatively, he didn't like the way she was smiling.
"You can abandon Akane and marry my Shampoo."
Ranma fell over, Nabiki scowled, "Did we forget to mention that Akane
already has her wedding dress picked out?"
There was a crash from up stairs and Shampoo came charging down the
stairs, "Ranma no marry stupid Akane!"
"Oh no," groaned Ranma as Shampoo flung herself against him.
"Saotome! You told me that you didn't want Shampoo, yet here I find
you molesting her," yelled Mousse rushing into the room.
Nabiki blinked, "You know of course, that Ranma is over there," she
said helpfully pointing at an empty chair.
Shampoo looked longingly into Ranma's eyes, "You no really say you no
want Shampoo, do you?"
Nabiki had always thought Ranma was a bad liar. He always started to
sweat, and stutter, and he'd always get that giant guilty grin on his
face. This time it was really bad, she couldn't make out a word he was
saying. Not that it mattered, Shampoo probably took one look and decided
to kill him on the spot. Well, Ranma would have to fend for himself on
that front, "Do you know what all this could mean?"
Cologne looked away from the fight[1], "The man you describe sounds
like a sorcerer. I once heard a legend of a sorcerer imprisoned in stone."
CRASH! "What happened to him?"
"He was imprisoned, as far as I know he should be there to this day."
WHAM! BANG! WHACK! THUD! SNAP! CRACKLE! POP! "Stupid Mousse, why you
beat up chair?[2]"
"Why would anyone lock up someone who could cure curses?"
"The legends spoke of the sorcerer as evil, and said that he was bound
to the stone while summoning a demon. The legends also say that the
demon somehow escaped and killed the priest that bound the sorcerer to
the stone."
"This Morphine person was looking for a demon[3] . . ."
"Shampoo, forget Ranma," Mousse pleaded with the table.
"If that is so, there could be great evil loose in the city. I think
it would be wise to keep an eye on this Morphine person."
"Stupid Mousse, why you talk to table. Shampoo marry Ranma, at least
he whole man, not duck like you."
"We don't know where he went."
"That's right Saotome. You were cured. Yet you didn't send this
miracle man here?!"
"Mousse right Ranma. Why you no try to help Shampoo."
"We should begin searching for him. I do not think it would be wise
for him to be free to do as he likes. I have a feeling that his miracles
have ulterior motives."
"Wait you guys, its not how you think. Ryoga and Akane were . . ."
"Ranma think of Akane first? Then Ranma die!!"
CRASH! WHAM![4] BAM!
"Don't worry Shampoo, I'll help you destroy Ranma!"
Nabiki and Cologne watched in amazement. SPLASH! CRUNCH! SPLATTER!
"Mousse?"
"Yes Shampoo," asked Mousse expectantly.
"Why you beat up ramen?"
*
[1] Shampoo Vs Ranma, 35-0, final score. Mousse Vs chair, 20-18, after
two over times.
[2] There were some translation difficulties here, this could also have
been, "Stupid Mousse, why you beat up Rice Crispies?"
[3] There are two divergent theories on what Nabiki was thinking at this
point. The first is from the Hopeless Romantic school, it states that
Nabiki's first thought was: "Poor Akane, her soul must have been taken over!"
Of course followed by, "I bet there's money in this somewhere . . ." The
second theory comes from the Church of $KaChing$, it states that Nabiki's
first thought was, "I wonder how much he'd pay me to catch the demon?"
This followed with, "I bet Ranma will drag the demon back here if I tell
him it'll help Akane." When asked which theory was closer, Nabiki replied
with, "Do I look like the sort of girl who would take advantage of my
poor sisters misfortune?"
[4] Another translation problem. For ease of reading the statement
"George Michael and Whatshisface" was translated as WHAM!
************
He was letting Akane down. All he had to do was find Ranma and
Nabiki. But of course he hadn't thought about it before he'd rushed
off. Now he didn't even have his map of Tokyo with him. Ryoga shook his
head. He really wished he'd brought the map. Right now he was lost, but
with the map he was sure he'd know where he was, after all how many
mountains can Tokyo have?
Ryoga crested Mt. Tokyo[1] and looked around. He'd never realized
just how big Tokyo was. To include a nature reserve as well as a
mountain. Damn. This would have to be the biggest thing on the Tokyo
map, why did he have to forget it.
A scrap of paper caught by the wind blew up against his chest. He
grabbed it before the wind could blow it away again. Could it be? A
map? No. No, it was just a picture of some girls. Of . . . of . . .
of Akane, and Ranma? But they're both girls. Why? Why are they holding
each other like that? Can it be? Can Akane prefer Ranma as a girl? It
can't be that Akane is . . . is. . . and Ranma knew all along . . . and
he never told me . . . and . . . and . . .
The walls of Ryoga's temporary sanity creaked under the strain of the
emotions surging through him. Little fragments of memory started to
return. Ranma stealing his bread. Ranma kicking him into that spring.
Ranma beating him up in front of Akane . . . . The walls shattered . . .
"RANMA YOU BASTARD! I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU," Yelled Ryoga pounding
his fist into the ground.
Before all the pain, despair and anger could settle itself back in, the
world shifted. It seemed to slide sideways. Ryoga knew the sensation,
it had happened before, he was falling. The world seemed to be doing
barrel rolls, one minute there was the ground rushing up, then the sky
rushing away. Then darkness.
*
[1] He had to call it something, and since it was in Tokyo, what better name.
************
Ryoga landed between two rocks with a sickening crack. That alone was
a broken neck, he knew these things, he was an expert. The Man walked
around the rocks to the body. Its neck was twisted in a very unnatural
way, a good break too. It was hard to snap someone's neck that way, very
clean. The Man looked at Ryoga, "Well your dead now. Lets see if we
can't get you found."
The Man noticed the picture as it drifted on the wind. He reached out . . .
and the picture appeared in his hand, "There you go. Don't want any
looses ends now do we?"
************
Ranma tried not to limp as they walked, but after Shampoo had beat him
up twice in a row, it was hard. Nabiki was walking quickly, he had a
feeling it was because she wanted him to suffer, "Come on Nabiki, slow down."
"Ranma, did you hear anything Cologne said?"
"Not after Shampoo attacked me."
"She said that there was an evil sorcerer in the stone."
"Well I didn't see one. The only thing I saw was this Morphine guy."
"Ranma are you dense?"
"What? You mean Morphine is the evil sorcerer? But he cured me and
Ryoga!"
"Yea, but look what he did to Akane and Ryoga."
"But where do we look for him?"
"Ranma! Nabiki! Where have you two been?"
"Uh, Akane, we were. . . that is we . . . Imean . . ."
Nabiki looked at him like he was a complete imbecile, "We went to see
if we could get Shampoo and Cologne to help cater the wedding."
He watched Akane look at Nabiki, and then at him, uh oh.
"Ranma. What were you and Nabiki doing."
"We .. .we were just . . .uh talking to Shampoo and Cologne."
"Then where is Ryoga?"
"Ryoga?"
"I sent him there to find you."
Nabiki looked at Akane like she might sprout mushrooms, "Are you ok
Akane? Ryoga? Ryoga could get lost in a closet."
Akane stared back at Nabiki, "Ranma, why don't you go home. I need to
talk to Nabiki privately."
He looked to Nabiki hesitantly, this didn't sound like the normal
Akane. If she was jealous she normally took it out on him, not everyone else.
"Is there something you two need to say to each other?"
Nabiki turned to him, "Ranma, go look for Morphine. I need to talk to
Akane."
Ranma shuffled his feet as he walked, this was really bad. Akane was
really pissed. How could she be thinking he and Nabiki . . . why? She
was always jealous of Shampoo and Ukyou and Kodachi, but her sister?
Something has to be done. At this rate she would be accusing Kasumi for
making dinner . . .
"Hey Ranma."
He looked around, and there was Ukyou. It must have been his
subcontious that brought him looking for a friend. She was really the
only friend he had, besides Akane. Well, maybe Ryoga. But he was more
like a brother that you were always fighting with. Maybe that's what was so
bad about what happened, almost all of his friends were now acting like
complete weirdoes. Ryoga acting all friendly, and Akane jealous of her own
family. He looked at Ukyou, it seemed like you could always count on her
to be there when you needed someone to talk to.
************
It was the biggest place in the universe. It dwarfed the universe in
fact. You could stand at the center of the universe and look out at its
vastness and then come here and feel even smaller. Its halls were
infinite, and its vaulted ceilings arched up forever. The one true hall
of the gods. Nobody liked to come here. It was creepy. If it had been
full of gods, that might have been different, but it wasn't. It was
empty. The only sound were occasional foot steps and phantom voices. You
could always find HIM here. And HE was always in The Room. It was the
room with the true table of the gods[1] in it. It made him nervous to be
around that much power. And HE was always there. Doing something.
No one knew what. It was unnerving.
As he approached The Room, Sarcasm could hear voices, they sounded
feminine. They seemed to be discussing some principle of higher math of
some kind. They sounded vaguely familiar.
There were three "women" in the room. One had bat wings small horns on
her forehead and a tail. She also had an incredible figure. It was the
kind of figure that made men into drooling idiots. She had on a blue satin
evening gown that displayed all her curves. She was intently watching the
second woman.
The second woman wore black leather pants, not hot pants, but rugged
leather. The kind of pants you want to wear when you fall off a motor
cycle. She had on a T-shirt that clung to her in a very suggestive way.
She had on big thick work gloves, the kind you might use to solder with.
In contrast to her clothing she was very thin, fine and delicate
looking. Her skin was black as night and her shoulder length silver hair
was pulled back in a pony tail. She was pointing at the table and
spouting off some schpeal about aligning sub-atomic forces to create a
gravity well dense enough to create an outward expanding wave of creation
instead of destruction.
The third woman spoke in a voice that was at once both sensual and
commanding, "Chagrin, it always comes down to blowing something up
doesn't it," it was the kind of voice that made you want to find some way
of serving it. The woman had the body to go with the voice. It was the
archetype body for the perfect woman. She too had midnight black skin,
and silver hair. Her hair hung in long locks down to her ankles, it was
as thick as a lion's mane and far more majestic. She wore a long red skirt
slit to the hip on either side to reveal her long perfect legs. She wore
a red halter with a white pattern that bore a distinct resemblance to
spiders webs. The halter was barely enough to cover her, and was
intentionally small. It left just enough to the imagination to make it
hard to look away. She had an aura of mystery about her. Nothing that
could be pinned down, just the feeling that there was something you
didn't know.
"But this is a different kind of explosion! Hi Sarcasm. It won't
destroy, it will create."
"Over time anything will fester and create something new. This
explosion just sets things turning. He's not here. Its still random chance
that dictates the actual make up of things. It won't do what we need."
Sarcasm was rarely at a loss for words, there was always something
sarcastic you could say about anything. Now he was having a hard time
figuring out what he was supposed to say to this. They knew him. They
knew what he was looking for. They probably . . .
"Yes we know what your thinking. He told us to wait for you and to
dissuade you from interfering in his plan," said the third woman.
"But what is his plan?! Who the hell is this Morphine?!"
*
[1] Unlike the copies they had, this table was all powerful. (Think of a
Cray vs. a PC.)
************
He stood quietly and listened. He could feel the demon's presence.
He wasn't sure what it was planning, but he knew he would stop it. Then,
then he would have time to reflect on what he should do. Two thousand
years. Things were different now. Evil sorcerers probably don't scare
people any more, and besides, evil just didn't have much of an appeal any
more. Perhaps it is time to just settle back into the world and enjoy
what time is left . . . After destroying the demon.
************
Ranma decided to head back to the Tendo's. It was getting late. He
had talked to Ukyou for what seemed like a few minutes only to find it
had been hours. She seemed concerned for both Ryoga and Akane, and
promised to help him look for Morphine tomorrow. As he walked Ranma
silently hoped that Akane would be in a better mood when he got home.
The whole house seemed to be too quiet. It was like everyone was
waiting for something bad to happen. His father was sitting quietly with
Soun. They were pretending to play chess, but they were really just
sitting and looking worried. Kasumi was sitting at the table nervously
trying to knit.[1] Nabiki was no where to be seen, and neither was
Akane.
"So, has anyone seen Nabiki or Akane?"
Kasumi jumped, "I . . . I think Nabiki is in her room. I'm . . . I'm
not sure where Akane is."
Ranma took one more look around the room, and then headed up the
stairs. It felt like he was walking into some kind of cage. It was
forbidding. He went to Nabiki's door and knocked.
The door opened a crack, "Ranma? What do you want?"
"What happened? I know Akane was mad . . . but. . ."
The door opened the rest of the way. He could see what was wrong.
Nabiki had a black eye, "She told me that if she ever found out that we
were together, she was going to beat me up."
"Has she gone completely nuts?"
"I don't know. I'm tired, and I hurt, and my little sister is possessed
by an evil sorcerer. I'm going to sleep Ranma. I suggest you do the
same. We have to find this Morphine guy tomorrow."
Nabiki closed the door, and Ranma headed to his room. Nabiki was
pretty tough. She must be upset, but she seemed to be holding it all
in.
"So Ranma, am I just not enough for you? Is that it?"
Ranma froze. What is with her? She has always been possessive and
jealous, but this was going too far, "What is your problem Akane? One
minute your planning our wedding, and the next your beating up your
sister."
"Oh, don't play innocent with me. I know what you two were up to,"
yelled Akane throwing a punch.
Ranma let it hit him, "Are you happy now? I used to like you Akane.
Now I can't even stand you. I'm going to find a cure for you even if it
kills me!"
Akane stared at him transfixed.
Ranma walked by her, and barely audibly he said, "and if you still
want, I think I could marry you."
*
[1] Not that Kasumi can't knit, its just that its harder when your hands
are shaking.
************
In the very back of her heart something went ping. It was a sound
like a pin dropping. Not a very powerful sound. Unless your holding a
grenade. It was as if all the walls and emotional defenses broke at
once. She was left standing in the middle of a sea of pain.
Akane had always known deep down that she loved Ranma, but she was
afraid to tell him. What if he rejected her. What if he made fun of
her. What if he didn't. But now, now, he had almost said the same
thing. And now she was driving him away. And she had beat up Nabiki.
And yelled at Kasumi. And . . . and . . . she had to try to fix things,
before it was too late.
************
Nabiki heard a light knock at her door. She got up. Honestly. She'd
already had her little sister terrify her and accuse her of having an
affair with her fiance. The day really needed to end. She just wanted to
go to bed and forget about it till tomorrow. Why did people have to keep
waking her up.
Akane was standing there. She looked really upset. Like a little
puppy. Akane never used the puppy look on purpose, it was always really
how she felt. Nabiki had a feeling Ranma had done something to her,
"What's wrong now Akane?"
"Nabiki," her voice was cracking, Nabiki could tell she was about to
start crying, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing."
So much for laying the guilt trip on Akane. What ever Ranma did it
seemed to have broken the spell she was under, "Its ok Akane, you were
under a spell or something."
"It not ok," Akane said hugging her.
Oh great, touching family scene. Nabiki had never been good at this,
what did Akane want her to do. Wave her hands and make it better? Then
she felt the first tears on her neck. This wasn't fair. She could deal
with Akane hitting her better than crying on her shoulder. She should be
crying on Kasumi's shoulder, Kasumi would know what to do. She hugged
Akane back, "Akane, its really ok. I'll be fine. Why don't you go
apologize to Kasumi, and dad, and Mr. Saotome, and . . ."
Akane pulled away, "You don't have to make it sound like I assaulted
everyone Nabiki."
"I'm glad your feeling better."
Akane looked at the floor, "I'm sorry."
************
Dr. Tofu looked at the men, "You say he fell?"
"Well, we didn't actually see it, we just found the, uh . . ."
"Yes, well he is definitely dead. Do any of you know him?"
"No . . . ."
************
Ryoga snapped awake. He was in a doctor's office. There were several
men leaving, and Dr. Tofu? How did he get to Dr. Tofu's clinic? He
didn't remember it being near a mountain, or a nature preserve. Dr.
Tofu looked down at him, "Poor kid."
"Hey I'm fine," said Ryoga jumping off the table. See?"
Dr. Tofu didn't even look up from the body. THE BODY?!?!?!?
"Hey wait! I'm not dead! I just fell!"
Dr. Tofu seemed to notice the picture in the corpse's hand, "What's
this? Akane and Ranma?"
Ryoga started to get angry, first Tofu wouldn't pay attention now he
was bringing up that photo again, "Listen, damn it, I'm not dead! I'm
right here!"
"You are dead Ryoga Hibiki. You fell off of a mountain and caught your
neck between two rocks. Though people are likely to see it differently
given the photo and the location of your corpse," said a voice like a
grindstone on teeth.
Ryoga turned around. The man was tall, and black. That was the most
distinctive thing about him was black. Jet black skin, black hair, black
uniform, black boots, black horns. He was black. It seemed to suit
him. It seemed to be him. His eyes were red. They were the kind of eyes
that make sinners convert. The were the kind of eyes that made churches
crumble. They were the eyes that sentence you at the gates of eternity.
They were staring at him.
"This must be one of Nabiki's photo's."
Ryoga snapped back around. It had never occurred to him that the
photo might have been a trick.
"That's right Ryoga. You never think do you."
He turned back to the black man, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you go off with out thinking. You don't let logic
stand in the way of your unreasoning hatred of Ranma Saotome. You have
yet to realize how Ranma feels about you."
Dr. Tofu put down the photo, "oh no. You aren't one of Ranma and
Akane's friends are you? Oh, this could be worse than I thought."
"Of course I'm one of Akane's friends you dope!"
"Ryoga Hibiki. Have you ever wondered about the after life?
"No! I've been . . ."
"You should."
...oh god...
"Not quite."
************
He stood on top of the jungle gym and waited. (some people can look
cool no matter where they stand) The demon was making his move. He
could feel his presence, it was very strong. Like back in the stone.
Back in the eternal desert.
Where bugs were food, and urine was to valuable to waste. Back, where
despite all logic, it seemed like the only hope was in looking for the
end of the desert. Day after endless day, crawling through those
burning wastes. Skin scorched and blistered. Oozing fluids that he
needed to survive. And no magic. None. The only thing to do was to
make your own. Draw in the pain, suck it up and ask for more. Be a
black hole of pain. The demon had given him that. Unwittingly, but it
was his doings that had taught the one time sorcerer how to heal. Now
it was time to pay back the pain. Time to ruin all the demons hard laid
plans. It was his turn.
************
Great Grandmother had told them to beware the sorcerer, but it was too
tempting. She and Mousse had to find him. He could cure them. So just
this once she would team up with Mousse. Just till they found the miracle
man. Then she could go back to Ranma. Shampoo wondered if Mousse
realized it. He should know. It shouldn't be a surprise. But he would
probably be crushed anyway. She hated that. He would blindly follow
her, and then feel hurt when she went after Ranma. He should know! Not
that it really mattered. She didn't really care if his heart was broken.
Just . . .
Mousse was wearing his glasses, which was probably why he noticed the
man on the jungle gym first. Not that he was any less distracted than
Shampoo, just that his eye sight (in glasses) was better. His hopes
soared. Soon he would be back to normal, and Shampoo would be too! Then
they could get married, "Shampoo! I see him!"
Mousse was right, the man was all in white. He had a far away look in
his eyes, as if concentrating on something no one else could see.
Shampoo put on a burst of speed. This was it, she was finally going to be
cured. No more fear of rain. Then when she was whole again Ranma would
love her!
************
"These are things you should be able to figure out for yourself."
She sounded like his mother. Well if a god had a mother. Sarcasm was
getting irritated, "Look, this is important. If I don't find out what's
going on someone else may interfere. Don't you get it? Am I going too
fast? Not everyone believes in non-interference!"
The woman called Chagrin looked at him, "Kids these days, right Zulvaria?"
The third woman, Zulvaria, smiled, "You don't seem to understand, this
is a lesson. You should be paying attention, not bad mouthing your elders."
Sarcasm started to sweat, this was bad. There were the young gods and
then there was HIM. There weren't supposed to be any other gods out
there. And the longer he talked to them, the more they reminded him of
his brothers and sisters. But gods don't have parents!
"Oh," asked Zulvaria, "then where do gods come from?"
The first woman spoke up, "Well I just popped into existence."
"That's because someone is a klutz."
Chagrin glared, "Oh yea? Well I, for one, had parents. You, I think,
probably hatched."
The air in the room seemed to crackle with energy. Sarcasm cracked
his knuckles. At least they weren't as creepy as HIM.
All three snapped around and stared at him, and as one spoke, "You
understand nothing of the multiverse. You are too young. One day things
will become clear. You are the oldest. You must help the others
understand. Go seek the wisdom in your father's actions."
Sarcasm started to back away. The three who act as one bit was really
unnerving.[1] And who was his father supposed . . . to . . . no. That
was unthinkable. How could he be related to HIM. Sarcasm could feel his
skin crawling, and his palms started to itch. He had to get out of here
now.
The first woman called after him, "and take the others to the clinic!"
*
[1] It was also a blatant rip off from Robotech.
************
Nabiki felt like hell. And after looking in the mirror she came to
the conclusion that she looked like hell too. With Akane acting normally,
she had insisted on making an apology breakfast. This was, of course,
grounds for an instant yelling match between she and Ranma. While that
was going on, dad and Mr. Saotome had snuck out the back to hide. Things
probably couldn't get any worse.
The phone began ringing. She picked it up, it was Dr. Tofu. Things
got worse.
Akane was about to punch Ranma through the roof. How could he be such
an insensitive jerk. She tried to make breakfast to apologize, and all
he could do was insult her cooking! He deserved . . . she heard Nabiki
say something about a corpse. Someone who had fallen? Jumped? He had a
picture of her and Ranma? She let go of Ranma. Nabiki hung up. When
she turned around she looked exhausted.
"Who was that on the phone?"
"Dr. Tofu."
"What was he calling for," asked Akane nervously.
Nabiki looked at her for a long minute, "There is a body at the
clinic. He thinks it might be someone we know. He has a picture of you
and Ranma," she didn't have the heart to tell Akane what he'd said about
bandannas.
************
He could feel the power shift. Things were coming to a head. He
could feel the demon. Half a mile northeast. At a clinic. THAT BOY I
CURED! The bastard was trying to destroy his work. Morphine turned.
There were two people, a girl and a boy rushing toward him. They too
were cursed. There must be an angry witch around here. No time for them
now. Now it was time to stop the demon.
"Hey you," yelled Mousse, displaying his remarkable lack of social
skills, "You cured Ranma, now we demand you cure us too!"
The man looked down at them, "I haven't the time now gentle children.
Fear not I shall return, and then I can exorcise your afflictions."
"What! No time! You have to cure us you charlatan!"
"Mousse right! You fix first then go."
The man leapt off the jungle gym, and over their heads. He had a grace
of motion that made the leap look more like a bird in flight than a man
jumping. Shampoo spun and rushed him, as Mousse jumped at him. The man
side stepped Shampoo, and deflected Mousse toward her.
"That is enough. I have business elsewhere. Desist you aggressions or
I will be forced to stop you."
Mousse leapt to his feet, "How dare you throw me into Shampoo!"
They charged him as one. He made some sort of motion with his hands,
it seemed abnormal. Shampoo felt something sticky splatter against her.
It was as strong as rope and its force threw her back against Mousse, and
the jungle gym. The man looked at them one last time and then took off at
a dead run.
The sticky stuff bound her tightly against Mousse, and the jungle gym.
Shampoo struggled in vain for a few minutes, "Mousse."
"Yes Shampoo," he was pinned right behind her, she could feel his
breath on the nape of her neck when he spoke. It was very erotic.
Shampoo reminded herself again that it should be Ranma her with her,
"Mousse, Shampoo stuck. No can move."
"I can't get free either."
There was a long silence as they tried to think of something to say.
Shampoo could feel his heart beating. It was pounding, "Mousse?"
"Yes Shampoo."
"Why for your heart beat so hard?"
"For you."
"oh"
************
Kuno met them on the way to the clinic. He had been on his way to the
training hall to ask Akane out. After a some what subdued argument with
Ranma over who Akane was to be dating he seemed to catch the mood of the
group and fell in step next to Nabiki.[1] Akane wondered about that.
Kuno seemed really subdued, like it was all just a formality he felt
obligated to perform. Weird, but then that whole family was weird.
"Nabiki Tendo, what tragedy has befallen you to bring you to this state?"
"What?"
"What happened to your eye?"
"Oh. Akane hit me."
"What?!"
Nabiki began to enjoy the conversation, this could get good, "Oh its
ok. She was being possessed be an evil sorcerer."
"Akane was possessed?!"
Ranma wished Nabiki would shut up. She was going to get Kuno riled
up, and then there would be a fight. Then everything would get blamed on
him. Somehow it always did. He could see Akane beginning to fume. She
knew what was coming next as well as he did.
"She seems to be better now . . . but you never know. It could be a
trick."
"WHAT!?!?"
"Come to think of it none of us might be safe."
"Do not fear Nabiki Tendo, I, Tatewaki Kuno will be more than a match
to any sorcerous attacks upon your sister."
Nabiki paused. It was the first time she had ever, in memorable
history, heard Kuno refer to Akane indirectly. She thought of the rose
in her room, "Gee Kuno baby, I feel safer already."
He looked at her oddly. She wished she hadn't said that and looked away.
Ranma leaned close and whispered, "is it just me or is Kuno acting weird."
Akane glanced back at Kuno and Nabiki. It was weird, they almost
looked like a couple, "uh, i think your right, he is acting weird. why?
are you jelous?"
*
[1] Actually Kuno had no idea of the mood of the group. It was just that
he was beginning to find it hard to chase after Akane and the Pig Tailed
girl in front of Nabiki. It, it didn't seem, well, it just didn't seem
polite. It felt wrong, and some how he felt like he needed to a perfect
gentle man near her. A part of him would have liked to hate that, but he
really didn't.
************
Ryoga clenched his fists. The black man refused to tell him
anything. How he got here, why he didn't wake up after dying, what came
next, "Look, damn it! If this is the afterlife then you have to tell me
what's going on!"
The black man smiled, it wasn't a pretty thing to see, "Mr. Hibiki, I
believe you are mistaken in your impressions of the afterlife. No one
need tell you anything. However I will tell you that this is a test."
"A test?! Of what?!"
"It is a test of you."
"Of course its a test for me! But what is the test about?!"
"You."
"Damn it! If you keep this up I'm going to kill you!"
"oh?"
Ryoga was not slow, though Ranma made him look slow. Nor was he weak,
there weren't many people who would argue that point, however, the black
man could. Ryoga never saw him move. One minute Ryoga was sure to put
fist in the black man's face, the next the black man was holding Ryoga's fist
in his hand. Then he squeezed. Ryoga thought he felt bones break. He had
never begged for mercy in his life, but he was beginning to consider it.
"Does it hurt? I know a thousand ways to hurt your hand worse. This
is the beginning of what will happen to you if you should fail this test."
The black man let go of his hand and Ryoga gasped, "But how will I
know what the test is?"
The black man looked stared into his eyes, "It begins now."
Ryoga heard Akane scream behind him.
************
Akane screamed and then backed into him. Then it caught his eye,
Ryoga. Ryoga is dead? Akane spun around, there were already tears
running down her cheeks. Ryoga is dead? Akane put her face against his
chest and began to sob. Ryoga is dead? Ranma heard Nabiki ask what had
happened to him. Dr. Tofu said something about jumping. Ryoga is dead?
Dr. Tofu brought out a picture of him in his girl form and Akane. They
seemed to be holding each other. Ryoga is dead? Dr. Tofu explained that
the picture was found in Ryoga's hand. He suspected suicide. Ryoga is
dead? Ryoga? Nabiki stumbled back out of his line of sight. Ryoga?!
But, Ryoga knew! He couldn't think. Why would he. Ranma thought about
all the other irrational things Ryoga had done. oh no . . .
Kuno watched the scene. He felt completely out of place. Akane was
screaming and crying, Ranma was holding her and starring at the body in a
daze. He listened to the doctor talk about the possible suicide. He saw
the picture. He recognized the quality. It was no doubt a Nabiki snap
shot. He'd bought enough to know what they looked like. It featured
the pig tailed girl and Akane in an embrace. Kuno wondered why those two
would be holding each other like that. He'd have to ask Nabiki, she
apparently knew.
It was a strange feeling. Nothing seemed very important. Some part
of him wanted to grab Nabiki and demand to know what the picture was
about, but it was a small part of him. It just didn't seem as
important. Kuno looked at the body again. He knew this man. He'd seen
him before . .. Ryoga? The name seemed right. He had never struck Kuno
as the suicidal type. Something seemed wrong. Like a flower in winter.
There was something going on.
Nabiki stumbled back from the photo like she'd been struck. Kuno
reached out and stopped her from falling. If it was her photo that
caused Ryoga to kill himself, then it made her a murderer by default.
No, Nabiki wasn't that type. There was a set up here. He could feel it.
"Akane. Ranma, how can you," Ryoga noticed the blank look on Ranma's
face, "Ranma," he turned back to the black man, "Why are you doing this
to them?!"
"Why do you think I am?"
"Cause your evil! Cause you want me to feel bad!"
"Oh, I suppose evil plays a small part in this, but not really."
"WHY THE. . . ."
"RYOGA!!!! YOU MORON! WHY'D YOU GO AND DO SOMETHING STUPID LIKE THIS!!!"
Ryoga stared at Ranma, what? How dare he say that, "You jerk! I
didn't do anything! Why are you molesting Akane while I'm here dead!
You . . ."
"YOU big jerk," Ranma's voice cracked, "don't you know I would have
let her go. . . ."
Ryoga stared at Ranma, he could see Ranma was going into hysterics.
But, why was, he and Ranma were, they were rivals. They . . .
"Ryoga Hibiki, is that what you really think," asked the black man.
"But I never . . ."
"I asked you a question."
"I always thought he . . .," Ryoga wished he could talk to Ranma.
This wasn't fair. Ranma had always seemed like his worst enemy, but now,
now, looking back . . . Ranma had always looked out for him.
************
Anger looked at his hand, two queens, a jack, a five, and three
fours. He was loosing. He hated to loose. He really hated to loose to
Emotion and Fellowship. They were so cheery and happy to win, but if you
yelled at them they got that scared defenseless look. That was worse.
Stinking Doubt had to open his big mouth . . . "You got any fours?"
"Your supposed to ask someone Anger. Does who have any fours?"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY SODDING FOURS!!!"
"No. Go . . "
"If you say fish I'm gonna tear your head off and sh . . ."
There was a crash, like all the china in the world being knocked over
by the cat and suddenly there was a whirling cloud of electricity. The
cloud lasted only seconds before coalescing into Sarcasm.
Fellowship immediately tried to read his mind. Quit it Fellowship.
We have to go to Dr. Tofu's clinic. He heard her whimper, "We're going
to the clinic. Now lets go."
Anger looked up from his hand, Sarcasm was is a shitty mood. This
promised to be good, "Right."
Despair put his cards down, "I don't think its a good idea. I think
something bad. . ."
Sarcasm cut him off by throwing his hand forward. The wall opposite
him exploded away like glass under pressure. On the other side of the
wall was Dr. Tofu's clinic.
************
"This can't be happening! I'm not ready! This isn't fair!!!"
"The test is over Ryoga Hibiki. It is not a matter of ready."
"But I can't leave them like this!"
"You must. You have other things ahead of you. There is no time for
this mortal realm."
"SHUT UP! There's are my friends! I'm not leaving them crying!"
"You have no choice."
Ryoga saw the portal appear. Where one minute there was a blank wall
suddenly there were six people. Four men and two girls. The men looked
pissed. The one with stars on his forehead yelled at the black man, "YOU!
I've been meaning to kick your ass! I . . ."
"Shut up," snapped the pale man, "Well," he addressed the black man, "This
is your party. What's supposed to be so fucking wonderful?"
Ryoga noticed the guy named Kuno was watching the people as well . . .
Hey! He can't see them! They're ghosts like me! Maybe he can see me,
"Kuno! HEY! Kuno!"
"He can't see you."
Ryoga spun around, "Then why can he see them?!"
The black man smiled, "Because Sarcasm does not care."
The pale man spoke again, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."
The black man held up a finger, "After I take this one to the pits."
"Fine," growled the pale man.
The girl in yellow almost fainted, "You can't let him do that Sarcasm!"
Ryoga panicked, "Help me damn it! He's trying to . . . "
************
STOP!
************
The shout rang out across the clinic. It almost seemed to
reverberate. Kuno turned away from the scene, almost reluctantly. He
felt as if it were some kind of family reunion. The pale man in black,
the girl with the red shoes. He wanted to know what was going on. They
were talking to someone. Then there was the shout. The only person in
sight was a man wearing white. White shoes, slacks, shirt, Kuno would have
bet money on white socks and underwear. He was in the doorway. The aura
of power that radiated off of him was terrifying.
"Did you think you could out wit me demon? I know your every move.
Your powers are futile."
The man appeared to be listening to something, then, "Death is no
obstacle. My power is beyond the realms of life and death! WHAT!?!"
As Kuno watched the man's aura began to swell, and swirl around him.
Then with a movement like lightning, the man made a single hand gesture
and a column of bluish fire shot forward toward Ryoga's body. Just before
it impacted it seemed to strike some kind of wall, causing it to spread
out briefly before dissipating. When the fire was gone, there were two
more people in the room. A ghostly image of the boy Ryoga, and a
creature best described as a demon. Kuno pushed Nabiki behind him and
drew his weapon. He noticed Ranma stepping in front of Akane. Ranma looked
ready to jump the demon already.
"So you show yourself, pitiful. Observe the power of Morphine,"
cried the man in white rushing forward and slapping his open palm onto
the chest of Ryoga's corpse.
The corpse sat up with a sickening crunch. The ghostly image of
Ryoga blurred and than disappeared like a piece of static tuned out of the
universe. Kuno took two steps forward and prepared to behead the man in
white, out of the corner of his eye he saw Ranma and Akane rush forward
their auras flaring.
Ryoga groaned. After Morphine had slapped him everything had gone blurry.
Now his neck was killing him, and it felt like his ribs had been used for a
xylophone. He looked around and noticed everyone was starring at him.
Everyone except the pale man, he was glaring at the black man. Ryoga
reached up and rubbed his neck.
"R r r RYOGA?!"
It clicked, they were staring AT him, "Ranma? you can see me?!!"
"Your not dead!"
Akane rushed up and threw her arms around his neck (ouch), "Ryoga! We
thought you were dead. I'm so glad your not."
Akane! At last you do love me! Now . .
"I wouldn't take it quite that far Hibiki," said a voice like a drill
bit tooth pick. Ryoga shivered, he'd forgotten the black man.
Morphine put his arms across his chest triumphantly, "You are helpless
against my power demon."
"So what. Was there some point to this?"
Morphine looked to his left. Where the hell did those six people come
from? They hadn't been here when he came in. And just who was this pale
man in black to address him like . . .
"Pay attention. This is the only time I will give you an example."
Morphine felt his skin crawl. There was something else going on
here. Something he didn't understand. The demon wasn't even interested
in him now. Its concentration was on the others, "Prepare yourself
demon, your doom is upon you. Morphine will have his . . ."
"Shut up."
Two simple words of command and the pale man froze him in his tracks.
Morphine could not move. There was something else about the man. An
anger and pain. Fear, remorse, self loathing. Morphine smiled. All the
emotions that he used to focus himself. His pain and anguish would take
Morphine to new highest of power. And then, the demon was sure to be
destroyed.
"Well?"
The demon held up a finger. It was a universal thing. It said "wait
for it". Morphine pushed himself.
Sarcasm watched Ranma, Akane and Ryoga talking. He was sure
Fellowship would start up with the ole "look now everything's great" crap
in a minute. People didn't think. Two days, at the most and Ranma and
Ryoga would be back at each others throats. They liked it. It was how
they related to each other. He watched Kuno. He had yet to drop his "at
the ready" stance. Nabiki was watching the whole thing like it was a movie.
"Give"
Morphine started to move.
"Me"
Impressive.
"Your"
Most mortal creatures forgot the presence of divine beings immediately,
or were paralyzed in their presence.
"Pain."
He looked at Morphine. The man had tremendous power. He was one of
the few who would excel at anything they chose to do. It hit him. That
was the point. He could see the possibilities. It was a complete set
up. It was a good example. No one had seen it. Morphine didn't get it,
the others didn't get it. Sarcasm realized it had even fooled the gods.
There was just one problem. What would set him on the right path.
"You," said Morphine pointing at Sarcasm, "give me your pain. I can
make it go away. You can be happy. I can take it, I . . ."
Sarcasm scowled at Him. That cheesy bastard. Fine if that's how it
was to be, "You want my pain?"
"Yes! I am the medicine to affect the cure. I can . . ."
"Then take it."
************
At one time or another every one in the world screams. They all have
pain, anger, bitterness, regrets, remorse, sorrows . . . They were all
there. instantly all the pain in the world flooded in it was gigantic
it was like a hurricane of pain it never stopped it just went on and on
and on and the was a little girl in Africa crying because her mother had
just died of starvation and a wife in Chad was weeping for her husband as
he died of aids and a monkey screamed as its spine was torn out by the
tigers claw and adopedealersmotherwasshotbythekidacrossthestreetandanamerican
mancriedandheldhidchildrenontheanaverseryofhiswifesdeathansomekidsdoggothitby
acarandathreeyearoldwasgettinghisfirstspankingandsomeoneflunkedherfinaland
someonelosthislastdollarinaslotmachineandthebankforclosedonaloanandthefamily
dosn'thaveahomeandtheboxesarecoldatnightandheonlyneededonemoredollartobuythe
boosefortoniteandtheworldisn'tfairandmyparentshatemeandatwelveyearoldmissed
themetallicashowandacattoreitsclawonthescreendoorandadogbitagirlonthearmand
************
Morphine screamed. He dropped to his knees and slammed his head into
the floor, "NOOOOOO! No! I can't stand it!"
Fellowship watched with saucer eyes. She had never realized how her
brother must feel. If this was what it was like, she shivered. Morphine
was raking his nails down his face and shrieking. Ranma and the others
had backed into a corner. They looked scared. Morphine smashed his face
into the ground again. It wasn't hard to understand why they were in the
corner. Fellowship wished there was something she could do. They looked
trapped over there.
"OH GOD!!! ITS TOO MUCH! Its too much! its just to much to bear. . ."
Sarcasm stepped forward and lifted Morphine by his shirt, "It always was."
Fellowship blinked. Everything seemed ok. She couldn't see a change,
just that it felt better. Emotion loosened her vice like grip on
Fellowship's hand. Anger took out a cigar that lit itself. Doubt looked
confused. Despair scratched his head and shrugged. Ranma and Akane took
a quick reassuring look at each other, and then pretended not to have.
Ryoga turned around to say something to Akane. Kuno nodded to Sarcasm.
He can see us? Nabiki let out a sigh[1], and reluctantly watched Ranma
and Akane. Sarcasm dropped Morphine and walked out the door. Morphine
looked around dazed. HE was gone. She didn't remember HIM moving, but
now HE was gone. She had never realized that HE had such a menacing
aura. She looked down at Emotion and Emotion smiled back up at her.
"Kuno baby, tell me something."
"I like your hair cut."
Nabiki stared at him. Kuno sounded distracted, like the contious part
of his mind was busy composing something poetic to spout at Akane. It
was like some sub-contious Kuno had answered her. He liked her hair
cut. So what if he's on auto pilot, that just means he's not teasing!
Right. When has Kuno told a joke in his life? Nabiki gathered her cool,
"Do you have any idea why we all came to Dr. Tofu's?"
"Hmmmmmmm . .. . ," Kuno turned around and looked at her, "I think we
came here to have your eye looked at."
Nabiki frowned, that didn't sound right. Then again her eye didn't
hurt. She reached up and touched the tender skin, still a little sore.
Maybe she did get Dr. Tofu to look at her eye. Ranma and Akane started
up their eternal feud behind her. Nabiki checked her watch, wow, three
minutes without fighting . . . it might be a record.
"Well excuse me! I'm not the one who beat up Nabiki!"
Nabiki groaned inwardly, great. Mental note, write love note from
Ranma to Shampoo to leave on dining room table.
"Ranma! How dare you say that about poor Akane! She was possessed,"
yelled Ryoga, grabbing Ranma by the shirt.
"It was your fault I was possessed in the first place!"
"That's right Ranma! How could you . . ."
"Aw come on, its not like that," Ranma got out of Ryoga's grip and
edged toward the door.
"And how is it then Ranma."
Nabiki smiled, she didn't know what Ukyou was doing here, but it
promised to be good. She looked mad as hell. It looked to be tag team
Ranma beating day. She saw Kuno nod and turn back to her. The boy must
be completely mental.
"Ah the long day doth draw itself into closing and I grow weary of. . .
why is Ukyou attacking Ranma?"
"She said something about Ranma dumping her, or something."
"And the lovely Akane she seems so . . ."
"She always does that when she's jealous," Nabiki broke in. Gotta stop
Kuno before he rambles, it could be weeks before he finished the sentence.
*
[1] Another missed photo opportunity. Oh well maybe another day.
************
They simply forgot about him. Morphine watched as they walked, or
limped in one case, off. The pain was all gone. As quickly as it had
come, it was gone. He felt relieved. Even his own problems didn't seem
as great. it was like having a weight lifted from you. Not forever,
just long enough to give you a little breather. The pale man, how could
he have done that? And all that pain. It was as if the weight of the
world WAS on his shoulders. Only a god would . . . be . . . oh.
Still there was the demon. It was at large. Morphine sighed
inwardly. Who cares. It just didn't seem that important any more. Even
after all the terrible things the demon had done to him. All he really
wanted now was to, well to help out. To make people happy. To . . it
was . . . but .. .demons twist your soul . . . how could . . .Morphine
saw it. Truth was something that most people only see in veiled
glances. But Morphine could see it now. The demon had twisted him, from
evil to . . .good? At any rate, he was no longer what he had been. He
stood up. His legs felt wobbly. He felt weak. All that hate, all the
pain he used to drive his magics . . .
"Are you all right?"
Morphine looked at Dr. Tofu, a good honest man. Interested in the
well being of others, "No doctor, I think I've lost."
"I'm sorry to hear that, is there anything I can do for you?"
"I think its for the best. Can you teach me?"
************
The spell broke. Mousse snapped awake almost instantly. He caught
Shampoo before she could hit the ground. She looked so peaceful. He
hated to wake her . . .
************
Shampoo woke up. She was in bed, tucked in. When did . . . Mousse.
Shampoo wished Mousse would quit being nice to her. . . it made it hard
to think of Ranma. Big strong Ranma, who didn't propose to cows . . .
well besides that stupid Akane . . .
************
Kuno frowned as he watched Akane and the others chase Ranma toward the
Tendo dojo. Part of him longed to go. To chase and challenge. To woo
Akane to his breast. To . . . <Take Nabiki to a movie. You'll have more
fun, and you won't have to watch Akane fawn over Ranma if he gets hurt.>
Kuno blinked, Damn. Must be the voice of reason, he thought. Someone
else in there snickered.
************
Ranma jumped over the wall, dodged some small spatulas and jumped over
Ryoga's attack. He was also caught mid-air by a rather large spatula
which propelled him into the pond. She wondered if she shouldn't just
sleep there, it was like a home away from home. Ranma stood up. She was
soaked, her shirt was sticking to her breasts, she hated that feeling.
Ryoga was mid-air with a flying kick that shouldn't be to hard to avoid.
Breasts? Her shirt sticking to her breasts? Oh no! Not again. Ranma
knocked Ryoga's kick aside, and caught him. This really looked bad, "Oh,
hi there Ryoga."
************
Ranma had caught him. It was humiliating, and to make matters worse
she was using that cute look. Ryoga hated the cute look. He reached
way back, it was the most obvious punch in the history of the world.
Then again, there was no need to fake it, Ranma wasn't going anywhere.
The cute look? Wait a minute. Ranma only used the cute look when he was
a girl. The most obvious punch in the history of world died in the
middle of the swing, "Your a girl."
Ranma threw Ryoga across the pond and into the wall, "Who are you
calling a girl pig boy!"
"I thought you said you were cured."
Akane turned to Ukyou, "And when did Ranma tell you he was cured?"
Ukyou smiled maliciously at Akane, "Why just yesterday. Ranma spent
all day talking to me. . ."
"RANMA! YOU LETCH!"
There was a blur of motion and then something small and perverse
attached itself to Ranma's cleavage. She didn't even bother to look
down. She punched him on the top of the head. As he slid down her torso
he tore all the buttons off of her shirt.
"Hooboy! There you are my pretties!," Happosi lunged for the
beautiful full breasts before him. At one time they might have been
attached to someone, but right now they were a world unto themselves.
They were . . .
His forward momentum was arrested by a fist. The fist was placed
directly in line with his nose. The view was cut off by someone pulling
a shirt over his precious breasts. Suddenly the world snapped back into
focus, it was full of fist. Happosi dropped to the ground to prepare
another attack, but wait, there was Akane. Unguarded, open, waiting,
free to be groped, "Akaneeee!"
There was only one thing faster than Ranma defending himself from
Happosi, and that was Ranma's defense of Akane. He moved like a blur and
caught Happosi by the foot. Happosi would have stopped a tantalizing
foot from Akane's chest. Would have, if Ryoga's fist hadn't been there.
Ryoga had run across the yard and pulled Akane behind him. It was a good
defense, if Ranma hadn't caught Happosi he would have been stopped by the
fist. There was only one problem.
He had Akane behind him, his arm around her to keep her from falling
over. It was a very heroic pose. She was sure to be impressed. He
could hear it now, [oh Ryoga, your so strong and brave. You saved me
from the Evil Happosi]. Bliss.
"Oh Ryoga."
He turned to face her, odd, she looked angry. . . He followed her gaze
. . . oh, no wonder she felt so soft ... and ... cushiony, "er . . ."
"YOU PERVERT!!!!!" POW!
Ryoga had never taken the Akane Express to the stratosphere. There
was a first time of everything. . . It was kinda peaceful up here. It
looked like he'd be landing in that yard over there. . . figures they'd
have a pool.
P-Chan crawled out of the pool, peh, chlorine. He shook himself, now
where was he?
"Charlotte!"
ARRRRGGGGG!
************
Sarcasm growled. He hated this. HE could communicate more by not
talking than anyone else, "They didn't get it. She isn't going to stop,
she thinks its just a convenient coincidence. Except for Morphine you
might as well forget the whole thing."
HE just stood there silently.
"Fine. I know, but I'm not the one fond of interfering."
HE didn't even move.
"Oh sure. She can't screw too much up, but look at the picture. I
never would have thought it was important."
HE continued his display of inertia.
"Now I know, well that's great. I'm supposed to clean up after my
sister. Or am I supposed to be teaching her something. You know as well
as I do that she doesn't listen."
HE moved, it was like a machine in motion. HE disappeared into a
darkened archway. Faintly, as if brought to him by a trick of the wind,
Sarcasm heard HIM say, "You know, we were designing the universe along
a magical axis until Chagrin detonated the sun . . ."
Sarcasm watched the shadows, he had always assumed that there was a
reason for everything. Fixing Fellowship's screw ups didn't sound like
such a chore in comparison. Sarcasm put his hands in his pockets and
started back home.
************
It was still there, he hadn't thought it would be after all this
time. The book was still in good shape too. Of course it was one of
"those" books so it would be in good shape. Morphine knocked the spine
of the book against a tree to loosen some of the dirt, casualy opened
the book, and flipped a few pages. He smiled, the D'nghl Cl'ft. He used
that to summon up Bin Twagahn once . . . ah the memories. He close the
book, he'd have to keep it. Just the sentimental value alone was worth
it. Plus there were a few rituals he thought he could work out with out
the blood requirements.