[Announcer]  "Well that was an interesting half inning.  Team
Ranma
takes the field.  It seems that with the loss of Hibiki some
changes
have been made to team Ranma's lineup.  Taking over in the
catching position is Ukyo Kuonji, filling in for Kuonji at first base
is
no. 27, Azusa Shiratori.  First up for team Moon, the first
baseman,
no. 3, Sai-lor Moooon."

Serena, slowly approaches the plate, and thinks back to Luna's
pep
talk.


**Insert hazy special effects**

[Coach Luna]  "Remember, Serena.  Ranma is a good pitcher,
just
concentrate, and I know you can hit the ball."


[Ranma] "There it is again.  What is that damn hazy stuff?"


[W.P.E.]  "HEY!! KEEP IT CLEAN!"


[Ranma] "Oh...um...sorry."


[Announcer] "Sailor Moon steps up to the plate.  She looks a
little
nervous.  Sailor Moon sports a .400 batting average, quite
surprising given her extreme clumsiness."


[Sailo Moon] "Waaahhhh!  The announcer is making fun of me."


[Announcer] Fearing he will once again be pummeled for his
indiscretion."Sorrysorrysorrysorry."  Serena stops crying. 
"Ahem...Sailor Moon steps up to the plate, Ranma looks in for
the
sign, the pitch."  Serena swings and misses the ball.


[Mousse] "......"


[Ukyou]  "Well?  Are you planning on calling that anytime soon."


[Mousse] Who never actually saw the pitch.  Truth be known he
was staring at the well endowed second baseman. 
"Uhmmmm...(bigsweats)....Strike?"

The crowd roars its approval.


[Announcer]  "Strike one on Sailor Moon."


[Sailor Moon] To herself. "No way is he going to get that ball
past
me again."  She cleans her cleats with the bat and steps into the
batters box.


[Ranma]  "Hmm.. it seems I won't be able to pull that trick
again. 
Okay, time for a Saotome special."  Ranma gets the sign he likes
and lets it go.  CRACK!!!


[Announcer]  "Wow!!  What a smash by Sailor Moon.  This
one is
hit deep, but its hooking, hooookinnng...foul."

[Sailor Moon] "Waaaaahhh!!"

[Mousse] "Who was actually paying attention.  "Steeriiiike two!"


[Coach Luna] "Serena will you STOP crying.  You still have
another
chawnce."


[Sailor Mars] "Yeah, meatball head.  You can be such a baby
sometimes."

[Sailor Moon] "Oh shut up Raye."  She sticks out her tongue. 
"Nuuuuuh!"

[Sailor Mars] "No, you shut up.  Nuuuuuuh!"  Raye also sticks
out
her tongue.

[Ranma] "Can we continue the game here??"

Both girls stop pthbbing each other and turn to face Ranma.

[S.Moon, S.Mars] "Stay out of this!"

[Ranma] "Alright, alright, alright."

[Announcer] "Well the party seems to be over, now back to the
game.  Sailor Moon steps into the box.  Saotome has the sign."

[Ranma] Thinking. *Hmm..  I wonder if I can chi charge my
pitches
like that Mars girl did.*  With that a faint blue aura forms around
his
pitching hand and the ball.  "Saotome-school-of-martial-arts-
special-pitch...  Mouko-Takabisha-Fastball!!"

[Coach Luna] "What the..?!?"


[Coach Genam]  "Growlf?!?."


[Ukyou] "Oh shit."  Ukyou braces for impact.


Ranma lets the ball fly.  Just as it leaves his hand it suddenly
bursts
forward with an incredible jolt of speed.  Serena swings at it,
misses,
and is knocked down by the wind the ball kicks up.  As the ball
makes contact with Ukyo it hurtles her back into the back stop.

[Mousse] Who, being behind Ukyou, made a good cushion for
her. 
"S-s-stri-strike...th-th-thr-three...uhnnn."


[Ukyou] Geting up and brushing herself off.  She stares at
Ranma. 
"What'd you do that for you jackass?"


[Ranma] "Oh shit, sorry Ucchan.  I had no idea that pitch would
do
that."


[Ukyou] Who's expression softens a bit.  "That's okay.  Just
warn
me next time."

[Announcer] "Wow!! what a pitch by Ranma Saotome.  He
quite
literaly 'blew' Sailor Moon away."

Groans can be heard from the crowd at the announcers horrible
punning.

[Sailor Moon] "Waaaaahhh!!  The announcer is making fun of
me
again."

[Team Moon dugout]  "Serena...SHUT UP!!"

[Announcer] "Now batting for team Moon, the pitcher, no. 4,
Sai-
lor Marszzz.  Sailor Mars comes up to bat, sporting a .290
batting
average with 10 home runs and 30 stolen bases.

Mars steps confidently to the plate, she eyes Ranma.

[Sailor Mars] "So, you struck out the meatball head, huh?  Big
deal. 
There is just no way that you are going to do that to me."

[Ranma] "We'll see.'

[Announcer] "It seems that Mars and Ranma are having a
discussion.  Probably exchanging pleasantries..."

[Ranma] "Kawaiikune!..."

[Mars] "Baka!..."

[Announcer] "I could be wrong though..."

This goes on for a couple of minutes before the two players
finally
settle down and get ready to play.

[Announcer] "Ranma gets the sign.  The pitch.  Ball one high."

[Mars] "What's the matter Ranma?  Can't you even get a strike
on a poor defenseless girl in a sailor suit."  Then pulls down her
lower right eyelid and stikes out her tongue, "Nyuuuuuuh!"

[Ranma]  Turning red "Why that....!"  Ranma holds back on
what he was going to say as the two writers give him evil looks
from the stands, "Oh!  That's it!"

[Announcer]  Testing door handle with wooden stick "Ranma
looks in, waves off the sign.  Now he has the one he wants.  He
let's it fly.  OW!"   ZZzzzzzZZZzzzzZZZZZtttTTT!

[Mousse]  "Ball 2!"

[Ranma]  "NANI?!"

[Ukyou]  Looks at Mousse who is staring at Shampoo  "Ball 2
he says...... I wonder which two balls he was staring at?"

Ranma getting flustered peers in for the sign.  He sees Mars
smirking.  Mars holds up two fingers and mouths "only two mo-
ore"  Ranma is really pissed now!

[W.P.E.]  "Hey keep it PG-13!"

[W.L.M]  "Pissed isn't a bad word!"

[W.P.E.]  "Yes it is!"

[W.L.M.]  "Is not!"

[W.P.E.]  "Is too!"

[Nabiki]  "Gentlemen, I am paying you to write a story........

[W.P.E. & W.L.M.]  "Yes Miss......."

[W.P.E.]  Whispering "This is all your fault!  You just had to
stand on the side of the street with a sign that said 'Will write
fanfics for money'.  Now Nabiki owns us!"

[W.L.M.]  "Hey!  At least we have money, kind of........ and we
get to live in an anime world!"

[W.P.E.]  "Got a point there......"

[Announcer]  "Finished?  Good.  Ahem...... Ranma Saotome
looks really ticked (keep it PG-13, keep it PG-13)  Whoa!  On
second thought, he's really pissed! (Ah, screw it!)   He's glowing
blue!"

[Ranma] "There is no way in hell that I'm gonna miss this time." 
Ranma peers in for the sign and when he has the one he wants
he nods.  "Mars if you think I'm gonna walk you you're dead
wrong."

[Announcer] "Ranma sets, and he works.  Oh ball three on the
outside.  Man was that close."

Ranma approaches the plate with death in his eyes.

[Ranma] "Mousse, what are you blind?  That was a strike." 
Mousse puts his glasses back on, he'd been cleaning them.

[Mousse]  "Huh?"

[Ranma]  "Augh!!"  Ranma turns around and heads for the
mound.

[Mars]  "I hope you have a good pickoff move, cause I'll be on
first soon."

Ranma just smoulders, his cap starts to melt.
Suddenly...

**Insert hazy special effects**

[Coach Genma]  In panda form.  "Growlf, grr, rowlf, growlf."

[Ranma]  "Huh?"

[Coach Genma]  "Growlf, growlf.."

[Ranma]  "Pop what are you saying?"

[Coach Genma]  "Roff growlf grrr."

[Ranma]  "Pop shut up."  Ranma grabs a sign and baps Genma.

[Coach Genma]  "Growlf, growlf?"

[Ranma]  "Pop, this is going to hurt me more than you......  but
it'll still be fun!"

Ranma grabs a nearby bat and clubs Genma, breaking the bat. 
Genma falls, his cap teetering on a large lump.

[Ranma]  "Whoa!  Pop's head was stronger than the bat......
wait, this is metal!  Uh, sorry Pop...."

[Ukyou]  Picking up the cap off of Genma's lump and placing it
on her head.  "All right.  Coach Ukyou to the rescue.  Too much
haze isn't good for you, so here's what you do, in three simple
words : Kachuu-Tenshin-Amaguriken."

**Haze fades away**

[Ranma] (coughing)  "Doesn't anybody regulate the air around
here!"

[Akane]  "I didn't know that baka even knew words like
'regulate'......"

[Ranma]  "I heard that...."

[Mars]  "Hello!  Today!  I'd like to get my home run now!"

[Ranma]  "Oh you're going to get it all right!"

Ranma checks the signs, but instead of nodding at the pitch he
wants, he winks instead.  He brings his hands behind him, and
focousing at Mars, whips the ball.  Mousse, Mars, and Ukyou
are suddenly pummled by a barrage of balls. 

[Mousse]  "One, two, three strikes you're out."  Ucchan smiles
as Mars looks back to see three balls in her glove.

[Mars]  "Wha..wha..huh?  How the heck did'ja do that?"

[Ranma]  "What, my little Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken
pitch...huh?"  Ranma pulls down his eyelid and sticks out his
tounge. "nuuuuuhhh."

Mars stands at the plate fuming.  Her bat catches fire and burns
down to a toothpick.  "Aaaaaaaaaahhhh!"  She tosses the
smouldering bat and heads for the dugout.

[Announcer]  "Well now that that at bat is over...now stepping
up to the plate the catcher, no. 5, Sai-lor Ju-piter.  Wow and
she's actually using a bat, what is that now, three batters who
use regulation equipment.  Wow."

[Crowd]  "Shut up!!"

[Announcer]  "..."

[Ranma]  "Hey Jupiter, if you think that boyfriend trick is gonna
work on me it aint.  I already got three girlfriends."  This was
probably the last thing that he should have said as a mallet,
bonbori and spatula came flying towards him.  He avoids the
spatula, and bonbori but is nailed by the mallet.  "Well you can
exclude the tomboy."  Suddenly a second mallet flies from the
dugout to smack him in the head.  Ranma is looking a little
dazed. "Hey she may be a tomboy but she's got great aim."  A
mega mallet is tossed at him.  "Uhmm..but she is kinda cute
when she smiles."  The mallet disipates.  "Whew."

[Jupiter]  "Can we get back to the game already?"

[Ranma]  "Fine."

[Announcer]  "Well the game is once again underway.  Saotome
looks in for the sign.  He has what he wants.  The pitch.  Jupiter
swings and hits it foul."

[Ranma]  *Whew, I thought she had me there.*  Calls time and
motions for Ucchan to come to the plate.  "Ucchan, she almost
had that one, we gotta change signs."

[Ukyou]  "No problem Ranchan, you could try that Mouko
Takabisha fastball of yours, this time I'll be ready.  And how
abut trying something with the Hiryu Shoten Ha."

[Ranma]  "Thanx Ucchan."


Mousse had been heading for the mound to break up the
conference but ended up in the outfield, Mikado being the most
sensible of the outfielders decided to help him back (he also
wanted to get close to Akane).

[Announcer]  "Everything seems to be in order.  Ranma looks in
for the sign, has the pitch that he wants and delivers."  

Ranma flings the ball sidearmed at the plate and Sailor Jupiter
watches it as it goes outside.

[Mousse]  "Ball one."

[Ranma] Thinking *Well Ucchan suggested it so why not...* 
Once again he focusses his chi into the ball, this time with a
different trick in mind.  "Saotome-school-of-martial-arts-
special-pitch...Hiryu-shoten-ha-revised-horizontal-curveball."  

He lets the pitch go and as it leaves his hand it starts spiralling
towards the plate.  Jupiter tries to follow its path for a bit but
finally gives up, closes her eyes, and swings.

CRACK!!

[Announcer] "How the hell did she hit that!?!  Well she did, and
it's into the gap for a base hit.  Jupiter chugs along to second for
a stand up double."

Ranma is still staring slack jawed at the plate.

[Ranma]  "How did she hit that?"  His reverie is broken as
Mercury steps up to bat.  "She's their cleanup hitter?  This is
gonna be easy."  

[Announcer]  "Now batting for team Moon, the shotstop, no. 1,
Sai-lor Mer-cury."

Mercury steps to the plate and takes a couple of practice cuts. 
She steps into the box and awaits the first pitch, it sails past her
and she does not respond, strike one.  The next pitch also
whizzes by, strike two.  The next pitch is high.  Finally just as
Ranma is getting set Mercury calls time.

[Mercury] Pulling out her palm top computer.  "Hmm...let's see,
if I take into account wind trajectory, followed by the arcsin of
the angle theta of the pitch, taking into account the velocity and
possible chi projection..."  Mercury plugs all the variables into
the palm top and waits a couple of seconds.  It spits out an
answer and with a satisfied grin she puts the palm top wherever
it is that the scouts hide their gadgets and steps back into the
box.  "Ready." she says.

Ranma who is looking really confused at what Mercury was
blathering about shakes his head to clear it and sets up his pitch.

[Ranma]  "That egghead will never hit this.  Muoko Takabisha
fastball."  Again the pitch leaves his hand and flies off with a
burst of speed.  Ukyou who had braced herself for the pitch
was surprised when it didn't get to her.  CRACK!!  

Eveyone is even more surprised to see the ball clear the stands.

[Mousse]  "Homerun."  Jupiter comes around the bases to
stomp on home and then waits for Mercury and high fives her as
she arrives.

[Sailor Jupiter]  "Good work Ames."

[Sailor Mercury]  "It was nothing."

Ranma is seen shaking his head as he approaches the plate.

[Ranma]  "How'd you do that?" He looks pale.

[Sailor Mercury]  "Oh it was quite simple really."  She pulls out
her palm top and proceeds to give a ten minute lecture on
calculus, physics and the laws of anime.  Ranma walks back to
the plate with a very glazed look on his face.

[Announcer]  Snoring.  "Huh...wha..are...we on..."  Now fully
awake.  "Well that was interesting wasn't it."  Just now all of the
crowd is coming to.  "Anywho, next up for team Moon is the
right fielder, no. 7, Sai-lor Ur-anus.  I would advise the crowd
to shut up or we may see what that nuclear charged fusion
cannon can do."

Uranus nods thanks to the announcer and steps up to the plate,
her space sword in hand.

[Announcer]  "Well it had to happen eventually."

Ranma looks in for the sign, has what he wants.  the pitch

[Mousse]  "Steeeriiike one."

[Ukyou]  looks at Mousse.  "For the last time, get your eyes off
the amazon bimbo and pay attention to the game.  BTW, you're
facing in the wrong direction.

[Mousse] Face reddening.  "Oops."  He turns around to face the
game.

[Someone in the crowd]  He just walked in and wasn't privy to
the earlier butt fiasco.  "Hey that batter has a cute ass."  Time
freezes.  Uranus glares at the fan and all those around him are
suddenly running for their lives.  She holds his gaze for a second
then nods to Ranma to go on.

Ranma unfazed by all this sets and tosses his pitch.  Uranus
changes her grip on the sword and slices the ball neatly in half. 
The ball continues into Ucchans glove.

[Mousse]  "Strike two, strike three."

Uranus seems to be unfazed by the fact that she just struck out,
instead she points her sword at the insulting fan and then points
to Ukyou's glove.  The fan takes this opportunity to head to the
top of the stadium and jump off.

[Announcer]  "Well that concludes the first inning.  Due up in the
second for team Ranma are Cologne, Shampoo and Kunou."

Not the end.



Ja ne!!

Ranchan

************************************************************************
Lucas "RANCHAN" Muzzatti
Science student at U of T     "Don't look at A-ZU-SA!!" Azusa Shiratori
ranchan@mail.accent.net
                 
                 Member of the Church of Ryoga:
   Protector of Akane while Ryouga's Lost and Ranma's not Around

                 Member of the Church of Azusa:
 High priest, keeper of Kawaii and writer of the 12 commandements of 
                              Kawaii.

Join now, and you get to give up a treasured object of your very own to
                the Goddess Azusa!  Or she'll kill you!
************************************************************************