Project A-ko: Deja U
Part III

Author’s note: I must sincerely apologize for this part! most of it was
written while on an extreme caffine high combined with sleep
deprivation. I’m not sure if it makes sense, but what the hey. For you
authors I’ve spoofed, no offense is intended, but I just couldn’t think
of anyone better to cameo. I mean, who better to cameo in a fanfic than
fanfic writers? Right? Uhh.... guys? Hello?
Oh, and you writers I HAVEN’T spoofed... wait a bit, I’ll get to you.

Oh, yeah, the characters portrayed in this fic are copywrite of someone
else, yada yada yada, spam spam spam, you get the idea.

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In the Earth Defense Force command center, towering above Graviton City
and center of some of
the most advanced technology on the planet, Diligent men and women
scanned the skies for any
threats to the world under their care.
Well, theoretically at least. Right now most of those diligent men and
women were using that
advanced technology to play a 42-way Deathmatch game of Super Ultimate
Final DOOM XXV Special
Nightmare Edition. All except one young ensign, who  actually DID his
job, who sat at his station
and scanned the skies for threats to humanity. Not because of a sense of
duty, or pride in the
EDF, but because the Deathmatch mode could only take 42 players, and he
didn't have anything
better to do. It wasn't surprising that when he started getting a signal
from out past Pluto
that at first he had no idea what it meant.
"Uhh, sir?" He asked the Commander.
"What is it ensign? Look, I told you you'll get your turn on the game
soon!"
"No sir. I've got a... a blinkie on my screen. What does that mean?"
The Commander sighed. <Oh well, I'm getting clobbered anyway.> he walked
over to the ensign's
station and regarded the readouts. "Oh, THAT. See these numbers here?
These are the data feeds
from the Pluto monitoring station. They indicate that something big -
about five klicks in length
I'd say - has just dropped out of hyperspace outside of Pluto's orbit
and is making a beeline
for Earth. That's all."
"Oh, thank you sir." The ensign replied. Everyone went back to what they
were doing. For exactly
five seconds.
The Commander suddenly stiffened as if every tendon in his body suddenly
shortened by about
two inches. He slowly turned an addressed the ensign.
"I... I think you'd better wake the Admiral."
"Sir?" One of the other officers asked sheepishly. "Does this mean that
poker night is off?"

Out beyond the orbit of Pluto, a massive starship nosed its way through
space in that slow,
majestic way only truly mother-loving huge starships can. On its side in
large letters, the
name 'Otaku Maru' could be made out. Why these word were in English is
anybody's guess.
On the bridge, controlled chaos and other oxymorons reigned as the crew
quickly locked down
the systems from hyperspace travel. On a throne-like chair an imposing
figure looked on.
Two ensigns stepped up to the dais and saluted "Lord Bailesu,"  one of
them said.
Bailesu pulled out a large and rather nasty looking blaster and
proceeded to vaporize the ensign.
"You are to refer to me as Dark Lord Bailesu, Dark Lord or simply God.
Is that understood?"
"Y-yes sir!" The surviving ensign said, shaking. "Uhh, I mean Dark
Lord!"
Dark Lord Bailesu sheathed his weapon. "What do you have to report?"
"We have detected a faint ion trail leading to the third planet. Most
likely several years old.
>From what we can tell, it matches what we know of Lepton drive
technology. But..."
"But?" Bailesu said threateningly.
"B-but we seem to have been detected by an unmanned monitoring station
on the ninth planet of
this system. Technology is of a previously unknown type, most likely
native."
Dark Lord Bailesu's eyes narrowed. "How advanced is it?"
"Well beneath ours, sir... uh, Dark Lord."
Bailesu reached over and grabbed the ensign by the throat. "Then WHY are
you bothering me with
such trivial details?!"
"I... (gakk) thought you would... (urrk) want to... (gasp)"
The Dark Lord threw the ensign back onto the deck. "You are NOT to
think! The Leptons are here,
and the natives are no threat. Lieutenant Wyrm!"
The young man wearing lavender-rimmed glasses straightened. "Yes, Dark
Lord?"
"Set a course for the third planet, best possible speed." The Dark Lord
fell into the requisite
Evil Bad Guy cackle. "The Princess will be ours!"

A nondescript looking delivery van pulled up into the University
above-ground parking lot. John
pulled into the an open parking space reserved for deliveries and killed
the engine. The van
wasn't exactly the high performance machine he was used to, but he
needed it to transport his
'project'. He intended to smuggle it into the University as a student
project (which, technically
it was) and use the Cybertronics testing range to try out its systems.
He got out of the van
and was about to open the back when he heard the explosion.
"Horton? What the hell was that?"
"*Scanning... The limited sensors available to me are unable to provide
specific tactical
data...*"
"Yeah yeah yeah," John said impatiently. "Complain about the equipment
later. Just tell me what's
going on! Is it some kind of mecha test run?"
"*IF I may finish, although the limited sensor suite of the van is
unable to provide specific
tactical data, I can determine at least five combat mecha in the area of
the Business
Administration faculty. Weapons fire has occurred.*"
"Business Administration faculty?" John said, his stomach twisting into
a tight knot. "That's
nowhere near the test range! Are there any human lifesigns near the
mechs?"
"*Impossible to determine from this range with the present equipment.*"
Horton replied.
John considered his options, narrowed them to one, then threw open the
back of the van. "Horton,
initialize project Guardian. It's time for a test run."

Kyle gaped at the five robots as they advanced on them. They were a LOT
bigger than the ones
A-ko hand tangled with the previous day!
A-ko stepped between the mechs and Kyle, shielding him. "Kyle, get out
of here! I'll deal with
this!" with that she launched herself at the nearest machine.
"Wait! A-ko! I can...!" Kyle began, but then trailed off as he suddenly
realized a problem he
didn't know he had. He had a charge, but he had no idea what to do with
it.
He knew how to move himself with it, to fly in a way, by using earth's
magnetic field, and he
supposed he could move other things the same way. But these robots were
way beyond anything
like that. He would need ten times his current charge to move them!
There was the time he had
zapped Miss Hinako, but he had no idea how he did that. Even with a
charge, he was totally
useless!
A-ko caught hold of a the red robot's arm and swung around it to kick
the mech in the armpit,
shattering its shoulder. The robot staggered, leaking various fluids
from the stump of its ruined
limb, but it remained upright. A-ko landed, still hefting the huge arm,
and threw it
javalin-style at the crippled bot, impaling it with its own appendage.
As the red mech toppled, A-ko turned to face the remaining four. She was
about to charge the
black robot when it cut loose with some kind of green beam. The beam
struck A-ko, throwing her
back.
"A-KO!!" Kyle ran up to her sprawled form. She didn't seem to have any
obvious injuries, but
she wasn't moving. The mechs advanced, and the black robot leveled its
weapon. Kyle closed his
eyes. "I'm sorry, A-ko."
The black mech fired.
The first thing Kyle noticed was that he wasn't dead. The second was
that he was exerting
tremendous effort doing... something. He opened his eyes.
He and A-ko were surrounded by a crackling energy field. Where the green
beam struck the field
it scattered in a dozen different directions, all at right angles to its
previous course. It
took Kyle a second to realize that he was creating the shield. After
another second he realized
that his charge was draining fast, and that the shield would fail in
another second or two.
He closed his eyes again and waited.
The shield flickered, and there was an explosion.
Kyle opened his eyes, finding himself once again considerably lacking in
deadness. He looked
up at the black mech.
Where its head once was, there was only now a smoking ruin. Kyle glanced
down at A-ko's form
lying next to him. She hadn't moved. <Then who...?>
Some kind of twin ray blast slammed into the chest of the black mech,
toppling it. The three
remaining robots backed off as their programs assessed the new threat.
A figure encased in green and gold armour touched down next to Kyle and
A-ko. Kyle just stared.
"#Is she okay?#" The figure asked. The voice was masked electronically.
"I don't know." Kyle said helplessly. That black bot nailed her with
some kind of green ray,
and it completely wiped her out." Kyle looked up at their saviour. "Just
who the hell are you,
anyway?"
The armoured figure saluted. "#Guardian, at your service.#" He  looked
back at A-ko. "#My scans
show her life signs are stable. Stay with her for a minute, willya? I
got something to clean
up.#" with that, he leapt skyward, bootjets flaring.
The three remaining mechs, displaying the usual badguy mecha thickness,
had spent this entire
time debating with each other electronically about this newcomer, who
wasn't in their program.
They had finally decided that the armoured guy blowing up their comrade
was bad thing, and maybe
they ought to do something about it when Guardian struck.
The repulsor blasts sliced through the yellow mech's chest plate, 
passed through its body and
emerged through its back, taking a lot of vital equipment with it. As
the yellow mech toppled,
the white and blue mechs decided that it would in fact be a good idea to
put a stop to this
nonsense, and opened fire on the hardsuited figure.
Unfortunately, Guardian proved very hard to hit. The mech's fire
tracking systems were designed
for a ground-based target, namely A-ko, and didn't do too well against
one capable of powered
flight. Guardian didn't have that problem, though, as the mechs were
very large targets. Two
cylinders flipped up from his back onto his shoulders, and a hail of
missiles rained forth,
blowing lots of various sized holes in both mechs, which responded by
falling over and blowing
up in two big pretty orange fireballs.
A-ko started to stir. Kyle pulled off his jacket and placed it under her
head. She definitely
didn't look good. "A-ko?" He said tentatively.
A-ko cracked one eye open. "Mmmmm... what happened?" she said weakly.
"You got zapped by a big robot." Kyle said. He looked behind him as
Guardian touched down. "This
guy... what's your name again?"
"#Guardian.#"
"Guardian. He took care of them. How do you feel?"
"Like I'm gonna throw up." A-ko said. "B-ko's toys usually aren't that
effective... must be
coming down with something."
"#We should get her medical attention.#" Guardian said. His suit sensors
registered the approach
of a campus authorities. <Damn! I'd better get out of here, or I'll have
a lot of questions
to answer.> "#Make sure she's taken care of.#" He said to Kyle, then
rocketed off.
Kyle watched him fly away. <Man this is getting WEIRD! Super powered
schoolgirls, giant robots
and now a knight in techno armour!>

B-ko lowered the binoculars, stared coldly at the scene in the distance,
then proceeded to smash
the binoculars against the ground. "It's not FAIR! I had her! I finally
had her, then that..."
B-ko fought to regain control. She had to think things through
logically. The Bioscan had proved
invaluable in discovering A-ko's weak spot: Evidently she was vulnerable
to certain types of
exotic radiation, which would temporarily sap her strength in the short
term, possibly even
killing her with longer term exposure. Everything had worked
beautifully, even with the
interference of that Magnus boy. Until that jerk in the powered armour
had shown up. B-ko had
her suspicions about who it was, but she needed to analyze the fight
data to be sure. While
she was at it she would have to find out where Kyle Magnus had procured
such a compact and
powerful force field generator. <I'll find some way to use this to my
advantage, even if I have
to tear this 'Guardian' out of his armour and pry his secrets out of him
one by one!>

Ensign Kunoichi glared at her screen as the data scrolled across. She
was the only officer on
the bridge of the huge ship. Everyone else was working in the amusement
park. Many of her friends
teased her for maintaining her post, since the ship wasn't going
anywhere. "We're an
entertainment and cultural center now, Kun-chan. Don't cling to the
past." Kunoichi shook her
head. She was surprised how easily her comrades accepted such a
degrading situation.
A warning light flashed on her console. She had rigged up a monitoring
subroutine nearly a year
ago to monitor the Earther's defence force transmissions. This one was
coming in from Pluto.
She easily decrypted it and scanned through the data, finally coming to
the video playback.
Kunoichi froze, then slowly flicked on her intercom. "Captain
Napolipolita."
After a few seconds, the captain appeared on the screen. "Who is it?"
"Ensign first class Kunoichi, sir."
Napolipolita looked confused. "Who?"
"I was your helmswoman for our entire sixteen year voyage."
Napolipolita scratched her head. "Sorry, doesn't ring a bell."
"I saved your life on Cygnus IV."
"I'm still drawing a blank."
"I gave you that bottle of scotch for your birthday."
"Ahh! Now I remember! What are you up to these days?"
"I'm the bridge duty officer this shift, sir."
"There's still someone assigned to that?" Napolipolita asked
incredulously. "Well, what do you
want?"
Kunoichi fought to keep the fear from creeping into her voice. "I have
intercepted a transmission
from the Earther's deep space monitoring station on Pluto, sir. A large
vessel has recently
dropped out of hyperspace and is moving into the system."
"A rescue ship?" The Captain asked hopefully.
"No sir." Kunoichi replied. "Muons."
Napolipolita looked at her calmly for a few seconds.
Then she proceeded to panic.

The next few days were uneventful. A-ko had been checked out of the
infirmary the day before,
with a clean bill of health. The doctor on staff had attributed A-ko's
condition to a 24 hour
flu bug, or possibly food poisoning. Neither Kyle nor A-ko had bothered
to try and explain about
the giant mechs. A-ko probably would have bee discharged earlier, but
C-ko heard about her
condition, and arrived with a bowl of her homemade chicken soup, which
seemed to preclude a
relapse of A-ko's symptoms. John showed up a few minutes after A-ko
arrived, but almost
immediately left again, claiming he had something 'vital to take care
of'. This didn*t bother
Kyle in the least. <More brownie points for me!> He thought. Although he
did have to go to class,
he checked up on A-ko, even after she was released. He almost felt
confident enough now to ask
her out.
<Whatever John was planning, it's totally backfired on him.> John had
returned to the dorm room
eventually, late at night. He was exhausted, and collapsed onto his bed
and fell asleep
immediately. Kyle kind of felt sorry for him. He would like to have
considered John a friend,
and if it wasn't for A-ko he would have. He wondered what could be so
important to take up all
of John's time like that.
He was still wondering that as he trudged off to class. He had already
perfected the standard
college student 'I-haven't-had-my-daily-dose-of-caffine-so-don't-bug-me'
slouch, so his eyes
were on the ground and he didn't see the large figure in front of him
until he bumped into it.
"Oh, sorry." He mumbled, and tried to walk around.
The figure stepped sideways to block him.
Kyle dropped the college student slouch and looked up. Standing in front
of him was a seven
foot tall, ridiculously overmuscled... woman?! Kyle backed up a step.
"Is there a problem...
uhh, miss?"
"That depends on you." The monster replied in a high-pitched, girlish
voice. She cracked her
knuckles. "Our boss wants to talk to you."
There was the sound of something large walked behind Kyle. He looked
over his shoulder to see
some kind of large powered suit stomp around the building. <Uh oh.>.
"Look, I'm sure this is
just a big misunderstanding..." He desperately tried to think if he had
ever crossed a member
of some Yakuza family before.
"Oh, I don't think so." Mari replied, continuing to crack her knuckles.
"I'd say my prayers,
if I were you."
Kyle immediately decided that the situation as it was was intolerable,
and he decided to rectify
it by heroically running away. He got about three feet before Mari
caught the back of his jacket.
Mari lifted him off the ground and grinned at him. "Oh, goodie! I was
afraid we weren't going
to get a chance to soften you up first." she casually tossed him into a
nearby wall, leaving
a large indentation in the brick structure. Kyle slumped to the ground.
"Mari!" The operator of the powersuit said. "We're supposed to bring him
back ALIVE, remember?"
Mari wasn't listening. As she turned to finish Kyle off, she was
surprised to see him conscious
and standing.
Kyle had barely felt the impact. Something had shielded him from it, and
he had a pretty good
idea what it was. <'Bout time my powers kicked in!> He thought. He felt
an odd euphoria running
through him, like he could do anything. Any fear he had felt was gone.
<Let's see what else
I can do.>
Mari lunged for him, but he wasn't there anymore. Mari turned in time to
see him drop directly
behind her. She didn't even notice he was glowing. She cocked her fist
back and hurled it forward
with all of her strength, which was equivalent of a small freight train.
It stopped dead about an inch from Kyle's face. Energy crackled around
Mari's fist, like she
had stuck it inside a power transformer. Kyle's eyes narrowed, and he
raised his own fist,
holding it in front of himself like some kind of gun.
Ena watched as the energy blast hurled Mari through the wall like a rag
doll. She tried to turn
and run, but found that her suit would no longer obey her commands.
Kyle turned slowly, his eyes glowing ominously. "I'm afraid you're going
to have to tell your
employer that I'm not interested in whatever he has to say." A second
later the magnetic force
he generated tore the powersuit apart.

"All strike units scramble immediately! All strike units scramble
immediately." Klaxons screamed
throughout Io defence station L9. Pilots powered up their fighters and
prepared to engage the
invading alien ship, full of confidence in their training. If any of
them had participated on
the assault on the first alien ship two years before, they might have
informed their comrades
of the futility of such a strike. Luckily nobody survived the strike on
the first alien ship,
so they weren't there to bring everybody's spirits down.
Sleek space fighters blasted free of the launch bay, arrowing for clear
space and their target.
"This is Puce Leader to all strike groups. Call in and form up."
"Mauve Leader here."
"Beige Leader here."
"Kahki Leader here."
"All groups lock onto target and fire." Puce Leader called. Almost fifty
high-yield nuclear
warheads screamed out into space, disappearing into the blackness for s
few seconds before their
death flowers lit up space.

Aboard the Otaku Maru, the bridge shook under the impact.
"Damage Control, report!" Dark Lord Bailesu cried.
"We have sustained four dozen nuclear missile strikes, Dark Lord."
Ensign Stormwalker replied.
"The paint appears to be chipped on the outer hull near deck
twenty-three."
"WHAT?!" Dark Lord Bailesu cried, outraged. "It took us ten YEARS to
paint this thing! Return
fire!! Teach those insolent little creeps a lesson!"
The Otaku Maru's guns swivelled around, drawing a bead on the Earth
fighters. Then the gunnery
control officer ordered the gunners to stop drawing stupid pictures and
get on with it. Gouts
of energy sliced at the human fighters, slicing several apart with a
single shot. The human
pilots, displaying the usual Doomed-But-Heroic-Cannon-Fodder behaviour,
didn't even attempt
to dodge as they dumped obscene numbers of missiles into the alien ship.
<Y'know, maybe joining the EDF wasn't such a bright career move.> Puce
Leader thought as he
dumped hundreds of Pepsi-can shaped missiles into the enemy.

End Part Three.
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Adam finished typing, striking the last key with flourish. "There! Part
three finished."
Adam's demented AI counterpart looked up from reading. "*What the hell
is this?*"
"What?"
Alpha scanned through the fic in disbelief. "*The Otaku Maru? Dark Lord
Bailesu? Are you NUTS?!*"
Adam turned up his nose. "Project A-ko is all about spoofs and lots of
gratuitous cameos. I'm
just following the mould."
"*But why didja hafta spoof the other authors?! Biles is gonna KILL
us!*"
"I'll just tell him it was your idea."