I am leaving the ML for a couple of weeks, for two somewhat related
reasons. This absence was planned, but has been made more urgent by the
events of the past week or two.
First of all, I am leaving in order to continue my writing. With the
beta release of Circe Project pt. 8 a few days ago, all of the works I
worked on this summer have been typed up and sent. There is one more
work that I would desire to release before the end of the year, and would
like to concentrate more on that.
The second reason is necessary in order to accomplish the first. Right
now, my nerves are shot. There are two things in this world which I have
a low tolerance for: mediocrity and lack of serious thought. I know this
and take this into account when posting my responses. Unfortunately,
this holding back causes me to internalize certain flippant or sarcastic
responses.
I have reached my limit. I cannot internalize any more. I am tired of
excellent writers wasting themselves by not thinking their own
characterization through, or reading several Ranma 'fics with
depressingly similar plots, or arguing with the administrators over the
misclassification of my work in the "Best Ranma 'fic of '96" voting.
The problem is that these are things of little consequence, which makes
it hurt all the more. I shouldn't be getting this angry about little
things like this. If it was a large affront, I could at least justify my
anger. But...these are not. Unfortunately, this anger is not a good
thing when it comes to my writing.
When I write at my preferred level of quality, I require what can be
called "emotional focus". Those who have read my (usually private) posts
on the subject will recognize what I'm talking about. Writing with
"emotional focus" means that your mind and soul are into the work, with
the thoughts and feelings of each character flowing through you and
guiding your story. It is not a matter of emotions alone, for small
children have powerful emotions all the time. Rather, it is a marriage
of emotions and intellect, with the intellect providing a shape to the
normally formless emotions. For those of you familiar, it could be
considered the difference between Akane's unfocused blue aura and the
Shishi Houkoudan or Mouko Takabisha. The aura does nothing, while the
others make a serious impact.
A couple of nights ago, I tried to write a part of TGACFH! 7. What I
wrote was substandard. I had a difficult time getting into the
characters and the situation. As a result, what came out was haphazard
and in need of repair. I will be working on the third part of Sunrise
Chronicles over the absence, and do not wish to make the same errors.
I am leaving to regain that focus. With the current situation of the ML,
I cannot regain it. I will return in a few weeks once Sunrise Chronicles
pt. 3 is finished, and will stay until the Christmas break comes. In the
meantime, I will also continue to work on various co-authorships and
other projects. I also apologize if I have offended anyone with this post.
Take care, everyone.
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Nicholas Leifker, aka "Nightelf"
nwl9354@tam2000.tamu.edu
Nightelf's Elysium - http://http.tamu.edu:8000/~nwl9354
Sorry. This witty quote is not here right now, but if you leave your name
and number at the sound of the tone, it might get back to you.
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