AKANE'S WOODEN MALLET
(sung to the tune of the Beetle's "Maxwell's Silver Hammer")

Ranma Saotome
Martial artist and unfortunately
Betrothed by his Pop.
They went to train recently
And got cursed, unfortunately,
So he threw him in the po-o-o-ond.

Akane Tendou
Canfidantee and iinazuke
Tries to cook on her own.
Ranma is not impressed,
Knows it can kill an ogress,
And tells her so-oh-oh-oh...

But as poor Ranma yelled his distaste,
An angry aura came from behind...

<Refrain:>
BANG! BANG! Akane's wooden mallet
Came down upon his head,
BANG! BANG! Akane's wooden mallet
Made him wish he was dead!

Ranma and Ryouga,
After another hoopla,
Tumbled out the do-jo-oh-ohhh.
Ranma-chan picked up P-chan,
About to put him in a pan,
And roast him so-oh-oh-ohhh!

Akane saw this
And yelled, "Ranma, you jerk,
"Don't pick on poor P-chan!"
Ranma stuck out his tounge
And said, "Urusee,
"You Kawa-kuu-u-une!"

But as he turned around to leave,
The girl sneaked up behind...

(refrain)

Ukyou came to her Ran-chan,
Her Okonomiyaki deep-pan,
Stuff Ranma loved oh-oh-so.
Kodachi with her ribbon,
Ranma thought, she's a scary one,
Laughing hoo-oh-oh-oh...

Shampoo the Amazon,
Riding up from the Nekohanten,
With the ramen with the po-oh-tion.
All three of them exclaimed.
"Ranma must marry me!" they claimed.
Ranma agreed so-oh-oh-oh...

But as the words are leaving his lips,
A noise came from behind...

(refrain)
(music solo)

Woo-den Mal-let!

A stupid little lyric from Tom Jefferys!

                           ---------------------
-wyrm/dm(AKA Tom Jefferys; Time Lord for Hire, "Have TARDIS; Will Travel.")
      <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu>           <JEFFERYSTR@rascal.guilford.edu>
   Member of the AFSS    {MOUNTAIN DEW ROCKS!!}    Vidboi (Marathon Pfhreak)
             Depraived Kawaii Thing of the First Order, Martin
   =<SIG>= Wyrm-chan @_@ H-Wyrm @_@ Ten @_@ Chibi-Usa @_@ Azusa =</SIG>=
=<^_^>= R1/2#_#BGC#_#Sailor Moon#_#Dr Who#_#Star Trek#_#Monty Python =</^_^>=

   Currently operating at <wyrm@middle.of.nowhere.void> for the time being

"I gotta lot of great ideas! Trouble is, most of them suck."

Childras, the <wyrm@mail.utexas.edu> Mailbox Deamon
Still trapped in Eternal Crystal and loving it!