On Sun, 10 Nov 1996, Richard Lawson wrote:
David Bateson wrote:
The final ending... contrived and artifical is the first reaction I had,
thinking about it I cannot really say why,
If you can ever say why, let me know. I'd like to fix it.
Ranma's behavior with Kentaro early on, when Ranma deliberately imitates
his initial meeting with AKane... shows clearly that Akane is still the
standard (S)he measures love by.
Ranma's general behaviour throughout is believable and in
character throughout, even trapped as a female, Ranma's normal behaviour
patterns are all still male. Ranma consistently behaves like the macho
strongman he was brought up to be EXCEPT in those scenes you feel it
necessary for him to show feelings for Kentaro.
That is the problem when I look at it, you have Ranma entering into a
relationship with a male without any serious alterations to his normal
behaviour outside of artificially emotional situations. Deliberately or
not, I can't see Ranma being able to avoid assuming the dominant (male)
role in his/her relationship with Kentaro, it simply isn't in Ranma's
nature to fulfill what is expected of a wife, particularly a Japanese
wife, and I am talking about the social rather than physical side of
things here. Up till now Kentaro has not had to deal with this, because
Ranma was physically female and he was probably (unconsciously) assuming
Ranma would fall into line as the social situation demanded if things
went that far. And trapped as a female, Ranma might have, but now
there's no real chance of that.
Ranma has 16+ years of conditioning to act like a macho guy, and it is
not only his normal mode of behaviour, it is his preferred mode of
behaviour - even at the end Ranma makes it reasonably explicit that if he
has to choose between his manhood and Kentaro - goodbye Kentaro. The
situation you set up at the end is not one I can see ending as you depict
- Kentaro will end up either breaking up with an openly male Ranma,
learning to love another guy or getting some real Nyannichuan water.
Kentaro was quite right about one thing, by reclaiming his maleness without
hesitation, Ranma made it clear WHAT was truly important to him, even if
he is still uncertain about WHO.
The emotions you attempt to portray between Ranma and Kentaro may be
real, but the situation you leave them in is artificial and cannot last.
Things will change, and probably quite rapidly once Kentaro and Ranma
start coming out of the emotional shock events have thrown them into. Your
story makes it clear that Kentaro is not thinking rationally about the
situation, and it is unlikely that Ranma has either (although there is a
first time for everything).
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The Major" | "Funny Games, Strange Cartoons, Confusing
David Bateson | Computers and too many Books! No
| wonder you're weird."
major@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au | - My Sister.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|****************** E N D * O F * M E S S A G E ***********************|
------------------------------------------------------------------------------