Ramon Salvania wrote:

Good beginning.

How about making the chapters a little bit longer, so we can enjoy it > more.

Looking forward to the next one.

-Ramon

Um, yeah, that's the best criticism I've gotten, is that the story's too
short . . . Will work on that, in case anyone wishes to make up an
anthology . . .

But, I've been having to shorten most of my fan fics because of the fact
that I really don't have time to write for free . . .

Unfortunately, Part Two is the shortest of the eight parts. The story
does start to lengthen later!  I'm hoping that I can turn them out
faster, so we won't have to wait until January for the ending!

Thanks, Ramon!
-- 
Christopher Bair                         caern3@cris.com
/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\
|http://www.concentric.net/~caern3/ gets my homepage 24|
|hours a day. Includes stories, fan fics, pix and info.|
\~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~/