Thank you. In toiled over part two longer than any of the other
parts... it was extremely difficult to write, and several times I tossed
what I had away and started anew. It is good to know that the work paid
off.
Doug Murphy wrote:
Here is the second part of Bubblegum Collapse. In case you didn't get
the first part yet, DON'T read this if you have an aversion to dark
fanficiton. (though the title should give that much away)
Draxon Review Operating System... Online. Initializing Review Process.
Storyline: 9. The most dramatic recovery I remember seeing recently. Part
one was OK whereas part two is EXCELLENT. I Like it. The Knight Sabers are
now brought back to reality, and we see the first major (MAJOR) emotional
problem to face the Knight Sabers.
Characterization: 8.7 Again, a dramatic improvement from part 1. I saw a lot
more emotion in the characters this time around, and it made the story much
better. I hope part three continues and/or improves this.
Grammar 8.7 Again, no special errors detected. Standard grammar.
Descriptions: 9.3 This is the kind of stuff I like to see. Everything of
importance is described well. I only saw very small areas of the fic where
the description deteriorated any.
Overall: 8.925 -- Excellent