Akane : Hey, you two...Shampoo's great-great-grandmother said to....
(She sees a completely nude Ranma-chan pressing up against Ranma,
one hand grasping his shoulder and one hand trying to grab the towel
that Ranma held in the air.)
Ranma : Ha ha ha! Too short to reach it, eh?
Ranma-chan : GIVE ME THAT!!!
Akane : Ranma!!!!
(Ranma had only enough time to witness a fist flying at his face before
he was whacked into the wall. Akane picked the towel up and gave it
to Ranma-chan, who was covering herself with both hands.)
Ranma-chan : Thanks. (wraps herself in the towel.)
Akane : Ranma, you pervert!!
Ranma-chan : Hey, it's his fault!!
Akane : Not you, idiot!! Him!!
Ranma-chan : Oh.
Akane : This is weird, Ranma. I mean, there are two of you now.
Ranma : At least I'm cured now. I'm a normal guy again!
Ranma-chan : And what about me?!
Ranma : Oh yeah, I guess that is a problem. Don't worry...you're a
normal person too!
Ranma-chan : BUT I AM A GUY, NOT A GIRL! THIS IS ALL
YOUR FAULT!!
Ranma : You are as much at fault as I am, you! Anyways, it's not like
I wanted to pour the whole thing in. It slipped, remember?
Soun : (coming up the stairs) What's the shouting all about?
Genma : (beside Soun) What's the matter, boy?
Akane : Umm, dad? Meet Ranma.....and Ranma.
Soun : What are you....(sees Ranma and Ranma-chan) What's going on
here?
Genma : Which one is you, boy?
Ranma & Ranma-chan : I am!
Akane : Let me explain.....
(Akane launches into a brief, condensed explanation of how and why
there are two Ranmas. Genma walks over to Ranma, looks him over
for a while, then, unexpectedly, he threw a punch at Ranma, who
reacted quickly and blocked the strike.)
Ranma : Hey! What's the big idea?! (retaliates with a punch but
Genma dodged it)
Genma : Yes. It's you, boy. No mistake about it. I taught you that
block myself.
(Genma turns to Ranma-chan next, who is still wearing the towel.
He threw a punch at her and Ranma-chan ducked it.)
Ranma-chan : Why you....! Not fair, I'm not properly dressed!
(She tries to punch him back but she stopped as her towel started to slip.
She tried again, to the same results.)
Genma : Well....no one else but my son would try so hard to punch me
back. You pass.
Soun : So, they really are the same person then?
Genma : I should think so. Yes.
Ranma : I'm surprised that you recognize me as your son!
Genma : Why's that, boy? I raised you with my own two hands!!
Ranma-chan : You never raised me at all! All you did was to engage
me to a bunch of fiancees, three of which are fighting tooth and claw
over me, and lug me all across Japan and China! Then you dunked me
in that spring of drowned girl and now look at me!!
Ranma : Umm, he was talking to me, you know.
Akane : What's the difference?
(Ranma-chan gives Ranma a final glare before ducking into her room
and putting on some clothing. She emerged in a red shirt and black
pants, still drying her hair with the towel.)
Soun : Hmmm....this is nothing very serious. I guess that it could have
been worse.
Ranma : You said it! I'm cured!
Ranma-chan : But I'm stuck in a girl's body! Why did you have to
jump the gun by using the Nullifier so soon?!
Ranma : Hey, it worked, didn't it? It nullified my curse!
Ranma-chan : But it gave me the curse! For good!
Nabiki : Oh, how good life is! (twirling a camera around)
Kasumi : Oh, my. Where are you going to sleep, Ranma?
Ranma : In my room, Kasumi. Where else?
Ranma-chan : She means me, dummy. In my room, where else?
Ranma : Didn't I just say that?
Ranma-chan : So you did. It's my room!
Ranma : No, it's my room.
Akane : It's both your rooms. And you'll both have to stay there
because we don't have any other guest rooms.
(Ranma and Ranma-chan look sullen for a long moment, then
they grumbled their assent with Akane's order.)
Akane : Ranma, come over here for a sec.
Ranma : Why?
Akane : Just come! I want to talk to you.
(Ranma goes over to Akane and she leads him just around the
corner, where nobody could overhear her. Ranma-chan is still
looking depressed. Soun and Genma return to their game, albeit
with new worries to plague them. Kasumi, always unfrazzled by
the strangest of events, sits and watches a TV program while
Nabiki is fiddling with her camera.)
Akane : Ranma, I want you to see the problem from the girl Ranma's
point of view.
Ranma : What?
Akane : Do you know why she's so angry?
Ranma : She's blaming me but we all know that me and her are the
same person. We both dropped the Nullifier into the bath.
Akane : Exactly. She knows that it was her fault, and I've never
known..um..you or her to blame other people for something that wasn't
their fault. She's ticked off because you don't seem to care at all that
she's stuck as a girl. You are too self-absorbed over your cure. You
are not paying enough attention to her problems because you are too
busy celebrating the end of your problems.
(Ranma's face reddened slightly in embarassment from receiving a
lecture from Akane, feeling almost like he was a dog who had done
something bad and was being scolded for it. Ranma looked deep in
his heart and saw the truth of Akane's words. He certainly didn't pay
closer attention to the girl-Ranma....to her feelings, he hastily corrected.
He tried to imagine how it must be for the girl-Ranma to have her world
so suddenly turned topsy turvy. He didn't like it one bit.)
Ranma : Yeah....I guess I've never looked at it that way. I'll go and
make it up to her, okay?
Akane : That's the spirit, Ranma. Now, I'll go and get your room
ready for another person while you go and talk to her, okay?
Ranma : Sure thing. Consider it done. (Ranma goes and looks for
Ranma-chan)
Nabiki : Ranma!
Ranma : Yeah?
Nabiki : Can you get yourself to pose for the camera?
Ranma-chan : Don't you dare try and make me! I said I don't want you
taking pics of me, Nabiki!
Nabiki : But my dear Ranma! Think of the profits you could garner for
me from Kuno! Look I'll even cut you a share. How does...oh...six
percent sound?
Ranma-chan : I - SAID.......
Ranma : No thanks, Nabiki. `I' refuse.
Ranma-chan : Hey, don't put words in my mouth!
Ranma : Do you want to pose, then?
Ranma-chan : Are you nuts?!
Ranma : Then? C'mon (grabs Ranma-chan's hand) Let's get outta here
before she gouges us for every yen we're worth.
Ranma-chan : W-what? Hey! Let go of my hand! (voice fades off as
Ranma pulls her along)
Nabiki : Hey, you two! I'll double my original offer!!
(The two leap ontop of the roof and Ranma-chan wrenches her
hand from Ranma's and turns her back to him.)
Ranma-chan : Okay, you. What's this all about?!
Ranma : Well.....ummm
Ranma-chan : If you're trying to apologize to me about this mess I'm in,
forget about it. I don't need your apology.
Ranma : No! It's....well....I've been thinking. You see, I was so
happy that I wasn't cursed anymore that I didn't make an effort to see
it from your point of view. I didn't even try to understand your
feelings. Anyways, you know very well that it's our fault, not just mine.
(he puts a hand on Ranma-chan's shoulder, who flinches) We both know
we're no good at this sort of thing so...I'm sorry for being a jerk.
(Ranma-chan turns and looks at Ranma, judging the sincerity in
his voice and body language. It seems as if time had stopped; so
silent was that moment that not even crickets could be heard. At length,
Ranma-chan smiled and put her arm up on Ranma's shoulder.)
Ranma-chan : Thanks. I should be the one to say sorry, though. I was
the jerk, blaming you for something we both did.
Ranma : Hey, let bygones by bygones. Forget about the whole thing
and we'll call it quits, okay?
Ranma-chan : Okay. Now, what do we do?
Ranma : Well, first things first. We don't seem to have an immediate
cure so we have to set out a life for you. First, we register you in
school as Akane's country cousin, Ranko Tendo.
Ranma-chan : Ranko? Bleeah, I hate that name.
Ranma : It'll make things go easier when Mom comes to visit.
Ranma-chan : Okay, Ranko it is. For now. Then what?
Ranma : Then we'll wait until the old ghoul remembers some important
bit of info. After all, her tribe had the Nullifier first. Maybe they
know how to un-Nullify us.
Ranma-chan : Then....you will be cursed again!
Ranma : That's....right. I've never thought of that. Well, scratch that
idea.
Ranma-chan : We'll think of an idea later. This is so weird!! I can't
believe I'm really talking to myself!
Ranma : Just clicked in for you too? I didn't really start to think about
this until now; delayed reaction, I guess.
Ranma-chan : I don't wanna think about it right now. Let's go do
something before I go nuts.
(The two stand on the roof, trying to find something to do with
themselves, anything to take their minds off their worries. Because
their common ground is far more extensive than normal, Ranma
and Ranma-chan immediately hit upon doing what they both love
to do best....)
Ranma & Ranma-chan : Let's fight!
Ranma : Hey, how'd you know that?
Ranma-chan : Stupid, we're both the same people, right?
Ranma : (looks her all over) Oh, really?
Ranma-chan : (narrows her eyes) I take that back. Enough stalling,
let's rock!!
(Ranma and Ranma-chan run to the dojo. Ranma starts off on the
crane-style while Ranma-chan adopts her usual stance.)
Ranma : Crane style!
Ranma-chan : Huh, that old thing? Don't think you can defeat me like
you did to Akane!
Ranma : We'll see about that.
(Even as Ranma spoke he lunged and performed a leap kick.
Ranma-chan rolled aside and awaited Ranma's next attack.
He swung a crane-fist at Ranma-chan, who deflected the blow
with her forearm and struck back. The speed of her attack
allowed her fist to slip through Ranma's defenses and it connected
with his solar plexus. Ranma's breath whooshes out of his lungs.)
Ranma-chan : Hah! First strike is mine!
Ranma : Urgghh..! But you gotta do better than that!
(Ranma brought a crane-fist sweeping down at Ranma-chan's neck.
Ranma-chan blocked the attack and was nearly knocked to the floor
by the sheer force of the blow. She swung her feet and tried to trip
Ranma. Ranma hopped over the legs and kicked out at Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan dodged the kick and somersaulted out of attack range.
She landed - just in time to block a leap kick aimed at her face. Ranma
launched into a routine of attacks, varying his fist attacks with his
feet attacks in a seemingly-random pattern. Ranma-chan blocked and
dodged all of it, however, and she tried out one of her attack patterns,
a kick, kick, side-kick, hammer-kick. Ranma blocked all of these with
practiced ease and performed a leaping throw, where he darts forward,
grabs Ranma-chan's shirt and uses his momentum to send her flying.
She righted herself in midair and landed on her two feet, lunging back
into the fray with her hands weaving in a familiar motion.)
Ranma-chan : Time to bring out the big guns! Kashue Tenshin
Amaguriken!!!
(Ranma-chan's fist strikes suddenly blurred. Ranma used his
Kashue Tenshin Amaguriken to try and block all the attacks but
the fists just kept slipping through. He blocked forty punches in
a second but the forty-first landed on his ribs. He parried another
barrage of fists, only to be nailed by a sucker-punch that he failed
to catch. Ranma knew he was fighting a losing battle by trying to
compete with Ranma-chan's sheer speed. Ranma broke off the
confrontation and leapt high into the air.)
Ranma : Mouko Takabisha!! Air move!!
(Ranma put his hands together and pushed outwards at Ranma-chan,
calling upon his willpower as he did so. For a brief second there was
a blue globe of energy seething in the space between his hands, then
it was unleashed as a powerful, destructive bolt that shot at Ranma-chan.
Ranma-chan had no other recourse than to block the powerful attack.
Fortunately, Ranma didn't have the time to call upon his full reserves
and the energy blast only felt like a very hard punch of superheated air
that singed her arms and sent her stumbling back a few feet.)
Ranma : Take that, you!
Ranma-chan : Ha ha! Gotcha! Hiryuu Shotenha!!!!
(She punched her right fist in the air and a whirlwind of chi-energy
erupted from her, starting at the feet and swirling out the arm and at
Ranma. Ranma caught the tip of the blast while he was still in the air
and he was flung clear across the dojo, where he crashed into a wall and
slid to the floor.)
Ranma : Hmph!! Not too bad! (he is a bit wobbly on his feet but he's
still standing)
Ranma-chan : That's not all! Mouko Takabisha!
(A reddish-orange energy blast shot forth from Ranma-chan's hands and
hit Ranma, who staggered back from the blast and fell to the floor. He
slowly stood back up, clothing starting to smoke a little.)
Ranma : Heh...is that all you wanna give into the blast?
Ranma-chan : What?! You're still standing?! (she begins to run at
Ranma, intent on finishing the match with a well-placed leap kick.)
Ranma : Mouko Takabisha!!
(This time Ranma had full control of his chi resources. A large bolt of
energy burst forth from his hands and slammed into Ranma-chan. Even
though she had blocked it, the impact sent her flying. She hit the floor
rolling and came up, head spinning from the sheer force. Her clothing
was slightly burnt and her arms were bruised. She was still recovering
from the force of Ranma chi-attack, an experience she didn't care to
repeat again. Ranma had bruises all over his back and the soles of his
shoes were charred black. His shirt was still smoking from
Ranma-chan's Mouko Takabisha and his back ached from the pounding
it took.)
Ranma : Okay, we've proved our points. Let's call it a draw, okay?
Ranma-chan : You said it. Draw game. (she relaxed her guard)
Ranma : I should have known that you're faster than me. After all, I
used my speed in my girl-form to win some duels.
Ranma-chan : Yeah, well, the same goes for you. You are stronger
than me, and more durable.
Ranma : Thanks for holding back on your chi attacks. I don't think I'd
want to be on the receiving end of one.
Ranma-chan : Holding back? I wasn't holding back. I was using all my
strength and energy!
Ranma : But it wasn't what I was expecting. Say, what did you feel
when I blasted you the first time around?
Ranma-chan : Like I was punched really hard by a big, red-hot metal
glove.
Ranma : Ouch. Anyway, your Mouko Takabisha didn't feel nearly as
painful as you described my attack.
Ranma-chan : That was the first time around. The second time you
blasted me I went flying and I barely managed to keep from passing out.
Well, still a good match. How are those bruises on your front from my
Chestnut fists?
Ranma : !!!!
(He had just noticed fist-shaped injuries on his chest and abdomen, all
of them meshing so they looked like one big bruise. He rips his shirt
off and turned around.)
Ranma : Which is worse, that big bruise on my back or the ones on my
front?
Ranma-chan : Ouch. They both look bad. But don't worry, we heal
fast, right?
Ranma : You're heartless, you know that?
Ranma-chan : (smiles) I know. Hey, didn't you know I hit you from
the front?
Ranma : Yeah, but I felt only two punches slip through my blocks. You
really are fast!
Ranma-chan : When you jumped into the air I managed to get a lot of
punches on you. Your guard was down, you know.
Akane : (from dojo door) Hey, you two! Your ice-cream is waiting.
Ranma : What flavor?
Akane : Strawberry swirl.
Ranma-chan : Race you to the ice-cream!! (zooms off, followed by
Ranma)
(The next half-hour passes uneventfully, with Ranma and Ranma-chan
exploring the newness of their peculiar relationship. Each knows what
the other would do, or say, in advance, so there was little need for
talking. At exactly the same time, the two would turn on the TV set and
watch the same channels. Eery that it is, almost all the family had no
trouble adapting to the strange situation. Kasumi went on with her
work, Soun and Genma played shogi endlessly and Nabiki readies her
camera in the anticipation of a perfect shot. Only Akane felt a little
unnerved at the near-perfect synchronization of the two - and more than
a little jealous of Ranma-chan. Imagine, Ranma's girl-side is more
popular with him than her! The doorbell rang.)
Akane : Oh, the slumber party!! I nearly forgot! My friends are here!
(She runs to the door and opens it. Sayuri, Anemi and two other girls
were standing on the porch, duffel bags in hand.)
Anemi : Hi, Akane! Ready for the slumber party?
Akane : You bet! Come on in!
Sayuri : Akane, this is Yuki (the girl with short, black hair bows).
She's from another class. And this is Sayaka (the girl wearing glasses
smiles and bows)
Akane : Pleased to meet you both! (bows to them)
(The girls chat animatedly as they enter the living room, then pausing
and looking about the Tendo residence. Soun and Genma get up to
meet the guests.)
Soun : Well, hello there! You're all Akane's friends, right?
Sayuri : Yes, Mr. Tendo.
Soun : Make yourselves at home. This is my friend and colleague,
Genma.
Kasumi : (walks out of the kitchen) I'm Kasumi, Akane's elder sister.
The treats and bonbons are waiting in your room, Akane.
Akane : Thanks, Kasumi.
Nabiki : I'm Nabiki, Akane's slightly elder sister. I'm sorry but I
cannot join your slumber party because I have....previous engagements.
But if you're looking for a person to fill in, try Ranko on the couch over
there.
Sayuri : (looks over) Akane, she's your country cousin?
Yuki : She's the one who won that rhythmic gymnastics thing two years
ago. And she fought that Mousse guy and won! The way I hear it,
she's as strong as that cute guy from your class.
Sayaka : Oh, him! Yeah, she's as skilled as that Saotome hunk!
Akane : Saotome...h-hunk? (shocked at Ranma's popularity with the
girls)
Sayuri : Umm, you guys....!
Sayaka : Don't you know? He's the one with the pigtail and he never
wears a uniform. Even Hinako-sensei couldn't get him to wear the
uniform, and she's a tough one! That psycho-nutcase principal of ours
can't even get Ranma to cut his pigtail.
Yuki : I hear that nerd Gosunkugi telling everybody that he's cursed, or
something like that, but I don't believe a word of that junk. Nobody
who looks as good as he does can be cursed!
Sayaka : Hey, who's that sitting next to Ranko? Hey,
that's......oh-my-God!
Yuki : It's him!
Anemi : Akane? Don't get mad. They don't know a thing about your
fiancee.
Sayaka : Anemi, what are you talking about? What fiancee?
Sayuri : Umm, Ranma Saotome is Akane's fiancee....
Akane : Our parents arranged it when we were young, so don't blame
me for it.
Sayaka : Really!? Ooohh, that's so romantic!
Yuki : You mean to say that Ranma and Akane are....(locks her pinkies
together)
Akane : Ha ha ha! Not quite that!
Sayaka : Lucky you. Wait till the girls hear this....they'll be so
heartbroken!
Sayuri : Akane, come here for a sec.
(She leads Akane away. Yuki and Sayaka are still sneaking peeks at
Ranma. Anemi is sizing up Ranko, who is sitting next to Ranma)
Sayuri : We know how jealous you can get......
Akane : Jealous? Of whom? That casanova?
Sayuri : Don't be so mad, Akane. Remember, these girls are not from
our class. We can't tell everybody how to think of your fiancee. You
should count yourself lucky that you've got the one guy whom almost
every girl thinks is a stud. Even Kuno wasn't as popular as him. Come
on, let's go `recruit' Ranko!
(Akane and her friends walk over to the couch. Ranma and Ranma-chan
look up from the TV simultaneously. The both of them looked bored
stiff.)
Sayuri : Hello, Ranma.
Ranma : Hey, you're Akane's friend, right?
Sayuri : Yes. (turns to Ranma-chan) You're Ranko, right?
Ranma-chan : Umm, yeah.
Anemi : Wanna join our slumber party? We need one more girl for our
game and we were hoping to convince Nabiki to join, but she said no.
Ranma-chan : Umm, I don't know.
Sayuri : It'll be fun!
Akane : Ranko, you'll be starting school tomorrow. This it'll be a good
time to make some friends. Come along.
(Ranma-chan looks up at Akane's smiling face, at her brown eyes
twinkling with amusement. She turns around and looks at the other girls
<who are kinda cute!>, she thinks to herself. She gets up.)
Ranma-chan : Oh, alright. This program was starting to get boring
anyways.
Ranma : You go on ahead and enjoy yourself...er...Ranko.
Ranma-chan : Yeah, sure.
Yuki : (whispers to Sayaka) Look at him! I'd give anything to be in
Akane's shoes right now!
Sayaka : (giggles and whispers back) Do you think he'll be in our
slumber party?
Ranma & Ranma-chan : Huhhh....ha-choo!
Yuki : (whispers) Wishful thinking, though I wouldn't mind it!
(Ranma-chan sneezes again)
Akane : What's wrong, Ranko? Coming down with the cold?
Ranma-chan : Huh? No, I'm fine. I just sneezed all of a sudden.
Weird.
Ranma : Same here. (he flicks to another channel)
Sayuri : Sayaka, Yuki. This is Ranma Saotome (waves a hand at
Ranma, who looks up)
Yuki : Nice to meet you, Ranma!
Sayaka : Same goes for me. Say, are you really Akane's....
Ranma : Fiancee? Our parents arranged that when we were little so
don't go looking at me for any explanations.
Yuki : (whispers) Fiancee, he says. That is so romantic!
Akane : C'mon, you guys. Let's go.
(Akane, Ranma-chan, Sayuri, Anemi, Sayaka and Yuki troop up to
Akane's room, whereupon they unpack their stuff and begin to change
into their PJs. Ranma-chan pretends to search around Akane's closet for
some PJs, thereby avoiding having to look at the girls. At length she
picks out a pink PJ with the words `China' on the front, and she begins
to leave the room, PJ draped over her arm.)
Anemi : Where are you going, Ranko?
Ranko : Uhh....to the bathroom. To change.
Sayuri : You don't have to go someplace private to change. We're all
girls!
(Akane gives Ranma-chan a look that said `play along'. Ranma-chan
sighs and takes her shirt off.)
Sayaka : Ranko, where's your bra?
Ranko : My what?
Yuki : Your bra. Why aren't you wearing one?
Ranko : Oh, well....it's kinda less restricting not to wear one in the
house. When I go out, I wear one.
Sayaka : Be careful what you don't wear around the house. Guys have
eyes for that sort of thing. Sometimes I even think they have eyes on
the back of their heads.
Akane : Yeah, Ranko. Didn't you know that already?
Ranko : Aww, Akane! Give me a break. (pulls on the PJs without
further ado.)
(The girls get themselves acclimatized to Akane's room and atmosphere,
making small talk as they cuddled up to their pillows. Ranma-chan talks
with the girls, learning their names and their classes. She looks as if
she might fall asleep at any moment, so warm and comforting was
Akane's bedroom. Akane's bed was soft, cozy and had a nice color
tone to it, and Ranma-chan was almost half asleep.)
Sayaka : Hey, Ranko! (prods her with a finger) Don't fall asleep now!
Ranma-chan : (under her breath) What kinda slumber party is this
supposed to be anyways?
Sayuri : Now, what shall we do first?
Anemi : I know! Let's try and match up the guys we are likely to date
next week! (Ranma-chan chokes at this)
Sayuri : Akane, Ranma won't count for this.
Akane : Okay!
Ranma-chan : (grumbles) Ranma won't count for this, yeah right.
(Each girl gives a list of qualities she'd like to find in a boy, and the rest
of the group give their opinions on which boy suits that girl the most.
Sayaka goes first, followed by Anemi, then Sayuri, then Yuki. Akane
is next.)
Akane : I'd sure like him to understand me, to appreciate me for what
I am, never to fight with me or call me names, and never run around
with other girls.
Sayuri : Like I said, Ranma is out for this.
Anemi : Even if he wasn't out, he'd still be out by default. Ranma
can't be like the guy Akane is describing.
Ranma-chan : (shoots a hand in the air) I don't think so! Ranma isn't
like that.
Sayaka : How is he, then?
Yuki : And how do you know so much about him?
Ranma-chan : Well, living here under the same roof as him tends to
give you some insight into his character. He's nice, good tempered, and
doesn't have much of a choice when girls come to date him.
Akane : What do you mean that y-....I mean, he doesn't have a choice?!
Ranma-chan : Shampoo always has that odd cure for the curse. If she
doesn't, then she has that odd trick up her sleeve to make m-...him go
out with her. Kodachi, well, we needn't say more about that one. And
Ukyo has never gone out on a date with Ranma.
Akane : Not once?
Ranma-chan : Not once.
Akane : Then twice?
Ranma-chan : He - has - never - gone - out - on - a - date - with -
Ucchan! Get it?
Sayuri : No need to get so worked up about this, Ranko. It's only a
game, after all.
Ranma-chan : Yeah. Sorry about that.
Anemi : Anyways, back to the topic. Which guy really suits Akane?
(Akane's friends confer for a few minutes. Ranko looks at
Akane, and she looks back. The two exchange gazes that
give away nothing that either could pick up on. The conference
ends and Akane's friends turn back to Akane.)
Akane : Well, what's the verdict?
Sayaka : (laughs) Well, the only guy we know that doesn't run around
with girls.....
Yuki : (chortles) Wait till you hear it!
Sayuri : It's...Gosunkugi!
Akane and Ranma-chan : AAAAHHHH!! No way!
Anemi : (laughing too) He doesn't fight, never calls anyone names,
appreciates and understands girls, if he had a girlfriend, so this is just
an assumption, and never runs around with girls! He's p-perfect!!
(collapses into laughter)
(The laughing is so contagious that soon Ranma-chan and even
Akane are joining in. The laughter dies down and Sayuri wipes
away a tear.)
Sayuri : Akane, you're asking too much of a guy. We all know that no
guy can be exactly like what you described. Nobody is perfect, no
matter how much we want them to be.
Yuki : Well, I think somebody's quite perfect for me! And I'm not
telling!
Sayaka : Same here!
Akane : Oh, you guys! We all know who you two want. (laughs
somewhat maniacally)
Anemi : Uhh, yeah. We do know, don't we?
Sayuri : Ranko, now it's your turn. Give us your list!
Ranma-chan : Oh, umm.....okay. (thinks) Oh man, how did I ever get
myself into somethin' like this!! He's gotta be independent,
self-sufficient, umm....(flushes in embarassment.) and skilled in martial
arts, and strong, and h-handsome.....
Sayaka : Say no more! I know who is perfect for you!
Akane : Hey!
Sayuri : Don't worry, it's not Ranma.
Yuki : In fact we don't even know his name, but we know how he's
dressed.
Akane : Well, who is it?
Ranma-chan : Yeah, who is it? (leans forward with some morbid
interest)
Sayuri : Akane, who's that guy who keeps visiting you? You know, the
one with that big and heavy pack, a red umbrella, and wears a
bandanna? He keeps fighting Ranma all the time!
Akane & Ranma-chan : RYOGA?!!?
Anemi : That's it! Ryoga! He's always travelling by himself, he's
skilled in martial arts, very strong and he's cute! I'd say he's as cute
as Ranma!
Sayaka : Now that you mention it...yeah. He's just as nice looking!
Sayuri : So, Ranko. When are you gonna go out with Ryoga?
Ranma-chan : G-go out with Ryoga?! But....but...he's...ummm...he's
hard to find!
Anemi : I saw him just today. He passed the Tendo dojo, like seven or
eight times. He had some sort of big stone statue on his back and he
looked kinda tired.
Yuki : I'm sure he would jump at the chance to date you, Ranko!
Ranma-chan : (thinking) He'd jump alright...to give me a kick in the
face!
Akane : Okay, all of you. Enough with games for now, let's eat!
(All the girls tear into the treats and bonbons made and baked by
Kasumi. Ranma-chan gets to know the other classmates whom she
had never had a chance to mingle with. She is surprised to find that
she really did enjoy talking with them, pleasantly astonished at their
knowledge and intelligence - certainly the guys she had hung out with
had no room in their head for anything else except for having fun and
girls, and having fun with girls, the latter of which is probably another
good reason why not to hang out with her usual male friends while
under this special curse. After a short while, thanks to Ranma-chan's
voracious appetite, all the treats and bonbons are gone and the girls turn
to other things. Akane brought a small colour TV up to her room and
they watched an anime about a romantic comedy. Ranma-chan noticed
that all the girls, other than her of course, were fully spell-bound by the
story unfolding on the TV screen. Sayaka and Anemi lay on the
carpeted floor in front of the TV, their attention far away at the
boarding house where the anime is taking place. Yuki, Sayuri and
Akane lay or sat on the bed and clutched pillows and blankets as they
followed the actions of the members of the boarding house.
Ranma-chan was also on the bed but she didn't quite understand how
these girls could lose themselves so much in a TV show with practically
no action!! The anime episode ended and the girls started talking about
what had just happened.)
Sayaka : Oh, that's so sad! Why did he have to run away? Didn't he
know how much she truly loved him? Didn't he know that she would
never jump the gun and marry someone else?
Sayuri : And all because of that guy's sister's wedding! That poor,
young man didn't know that it wasn't her wedding....
Akane : And the part when the movers came to Room 5 and moved all
his stuff out? She knew then that he really was serious about running
away! You could almost cry for him.
Anemi : Then she went to his new apartment...and saw that freeloading
woman tenant living under the same roof as he is?
Yuki : What was she to think? She didn't know that that woman didn't
have the money to move out!
Sayuri : Ranko, what did you think of that? Wasn't it heartbreaking?
Ranma-chan : No, not really. She didn't take the time to understand
him, and vice versa. It's both their fault and that's what they deserve.
Anemi : Ranko! Is your heart made of stone? Where are your feelings?
Yuki : Didn't you feel anything for that poor guy?
Ranma-chan : Nope. Not a thing.
Akane : (thinking) Oh well, should have guessed that he would have no
feelings! (out loud) Ahhh..let's forget about this for now, okay? Let's
play that Ouija board game!
(Yuki pulls out a Ouija board and the girls turn out the lights and light
two candles. They perform the rituals and all the hype and jazz, and
Yuki asks the first question.)
Yuki : Ouija board! What will my test mark be for tomorrow?
(She throws a pair of dice and it reads `92')
Yuki : YES!! I'll do so well on that test tomorrow!
(All the girls except Akane and Ranma-chan have their turn. Then it is
Akane's turn.)
Akane : (grabs the arrow) Ouija board! Tell me where to find the
perfect guy!
Ranma-chan : Aww, geez Akane! Isn't Ranma good enough for you?!
(All the girls laugh at this.)
Akane : Quiet, idiot! I'm trying to contact the spirit world! (spins the
arrow extra hard)
(The arrow on the Ouija board slows to a halt and points at
Ranma-chan. Then the arrow swings to point in the general direction
of the living room, then back to Ranma-chan again. It keeps doing this
for exactly two minutes and two seconds, then it goes inert.)
Sayuri : Say, when I asked something like that it never moved on its
own for as long as it did back there!
Akane : That's....weird.
Yuki : Why was it pointing to you, Ranko? Then it swung away, then
it pointed back to you!
Ranma-chan : Oh well, it's just a game. Let me try!
(Ranma-chan thinks real hard about a cure for the Nullifier and fixes the
concept in her mind. She picks up Akane's world map from the desk
and spreads it out on the floor. She picks up a Ouija die and waves it
mysteriously over the board.)
Ranma-chan : Ouija board! Tell me where I can find the thing I'm
thinking about in my mind!
(She throws the die on the world map. It rolls around and stops
somewhere in China.)
Ranma-chan : China!!? O ouija board!!! Tell me where the thing is!
Again!
(She throws the die, this time at a different angle. It rolls
around.....and stops on the exact spot, in China.)
Ranma-chan : Jeez! You can never rely on things like this! O ouija
board! Tell me one more time!
(She tosses the die in the air and it lands on the same spot again, without
rolling about from the impact.)
Yuki : Say, Ranko. What were you looking for anyways?
Ranma-chan : Oh, nothing important.
Akane : Ranko....the die landed on that same spot three times. Do you
think...?
Ranma-chan : Even if it is true, how the heck am I supposed to get
there? Run? Swim?
Sayuri : Let's put this thing away, guys! It's giving me the creeps.
Someone turn on the lights!
(The candles are blown out and the lights are turned on. The
Ouija board is put away and the girls chat about school affairs
and classroom things. Their social lives seem to interwine very
tightly with aspects of their everyday life. Sayaka complains
about how her mother limits her use of the phone to call boys.
Yuki grumbles about how she was grounded for spending too
much time out with her friends. Sayuri and Anemi smile and
listen sympathetically. Akane and Ranma-chan were little more
than spectators, interjecting a comment now and then. The hour
grew late and the girls pull out their pillows and blankets.
Ranma-chan excuses herself and returns to her room, with little
objection because Akane's room could only hold so many. She
returns to her old room.)
Ranma : Hey, what's with the PJ's?
Ranma-chan : Be quiet, you. (yawns) Oh man...I didn't know it was
so tiring!
Ranma : What's so tiring?
Ranma-chan : That slumber party thing.
Ranma : I thought you would be wide awake....being close to all those
girls and all that.
Ranma-chan : What makes you think I was there for the girls?
Ranma : The same thing that tells me how I would have liked to be in
there.
Ranma-chan : No. Not really. The program was getting boring and I
needed to meet with my new friends.
Ranma : New friends? What's wrong with Hiroshi and Fuzaki? What
about the guys?
Ranma-chan : I'm a girl now, remember? Until I find a cure I can't
hang out all the time with the guys.
Ranma : Hmmm...you're right. Those guys only think of......
Ranma-chan : Girls. Yes, I know. How are those bruises coming
along?
Ranma : Still painful as all hell. I don't know how I'm gonna go to
sleep on a bruised back.
Ranma-chan : Lie down.
Ranma : What?
Ranma-chan : Lie down. I'll give you a back rub. It was my fault for
using that Hiryuu Shotenha on you like that.
Ranma : Are you sure?
Ranma-chan : Lie down or I'll make you.
(Ranma takes his shirt off and lies down on the futon. Ranma-chan
kneels down beside him and begins to rub his sore back, kneading
expertly with her delicate hands. Ranma sighs in pleasure.)
Ranma : Ahh, this is the life.
Ranma-chan : Feeling better now?
Ranma : No, not yet.
Ranma-chan : Tell me when.
(She continues massaging for several minutes and still no
word from Ranma. She digs her nails into his back.)
Ranma : Hey! What's that for?
Ranma-chan : Don't tell me you aren't feeling better?!
Ranma : How can I not feel better when a cute girl is giving me a
private massage?
(Ranma-chan stands up, fuming, and Ranma laughs, explaining that it
was just a joke. She calms down after a while and kneels back down
beside him.)
Ranma-chan : Well, anyways. Roll over. (indicates with a circling
motion with her index finger.)
Ranma : What?
Ranma-chan : Roll over. You forget about the Chestnut fist punches.
Ranma : Oh. (rolls over) I feel like a dog, or something.
Ranma-chan : Yes. So obedient. (begins massaging his chest and abs)
Ranma : Hey.
Ranma-chan : Hey what?
Ranma : Don't you feel...umm...kinda strange massaging a guy? (feels
something stirring in himself.)
Ranma-chan : I'm giving myself a massage, stupid. We're the same
person after all, no need to get a rise out of it.
Ranma : I'm not!
Ranma-chan : (points between his legs) Then what's that?
Ranma : (grabs a pillow and stuffs it between his legs) None of your
business!
Ranma-chan : If I didn't know any better, I'd say that was for me.
Ranma : No it isn't! It's just that....it's just that....
Ranma-chan : Just pulling your leg! Jeez....
Ranma : Uh, right. (stares at Ranma-chan's swaying breasts under her
pink shirt.)
(Ranma-chan finishes up and goes over to her futon and lies face
down. Ranma gets up, feeling much better.)
Ranma : That felt so good! I feel like a new man!
Ranma-chan : Now it's your turn to give me a back rub.
Ranma : What?!
Ranma-chan : I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Ranma : Oh, alright.
(Ranma-chan pulls her shirt up to her neck and lets Ranma work her
back with his hands. Ranma marvels at the softness of her back and
the smoothness of her skin while running his hands from the small of
her back up to her shoulders and back down again.)
Ranma : So, what do you think of the girls?
Ranma-chan : They're smarter than guys but they're too emotional.
Crying over some dumb show about a guy who lives in a boarding
house with a bunch of tenants and a beautiful manageress.
Ranma : Doesn't sound too exciting. Does it have any action?
Ranma-chan : More to the right, please. Sorry?
Ranma : (shifts his hands to the right) I said, does it have any action?
Ranma-chan : No. Not a bit. Just a bunch of tear-jerking scenes strung
one after another.
Ranma : Is it anime?
Ranma-chan : Yup. No way you could pay anybody to do something
like that......but whoever wrote that story must be one helluva writer.
And artist. And she's female too. I saw the manga for that the other
day...and..ooh! Do that again.
Ranma : Do what again?
Ranma-chan : Rub that spot again. It feels good.
Ranma : Your wish is my command.
(At length, Ranma-chan signals Ranma to stop massaging her and she
tucks her shirt back in.)
Ranma-chan : Don't worry, I won't ask you to massage my...chest.
Disappointed, huh?
Ranma : Don't joke like that! I'm not disappointed....
Ranma-chan : Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. Seeya tomorrow.
(She puts her head on her pillow and falls asleep within seconds.
Ranma lets his eyes travel a moment longer on the slim, beautiful
figure on the futon next to his. He notes the slim shoulders, the
delicate arms and the long legs. He had no idea that he was this
ravishing when asleep. With some effort he wrenches his eyes
away from his female counterpart and goes to sleep. At some
time during the night, the panda comes in and sets himself next to
Ranma.)
(As Ranma-chan sleeps, she starts to dream. She feels herself, in
female form, taking a hot bath. Suddenly she is grabbed from behind
by strong hands which immobilize her own. She screams in terror and
tries to see who is behind her, but she couldn't. She hears Ryoga's
voice from behind her, saying `Date with me'. She feels his body press
up behind her and he said `Date with me' once more. She shrieks at the
top of her lungs and the nightmare shatters into a thousand bits of
darkness which scatter across the infinite expanse of the dreamscape.
She finds herself standing on a vast plain of green, knee-high grasses,
clothed in her normal clothing. A range of white-capped, mist-shrouded
mountains lie far off to her right. The sun is high in the sky and a few
clouds scud across the horizon. A wind blows and passes through the
tall grasses with a swish, and ruffles her hair. Suddenly she knows that
she is endowed with the ability to fly and she takes to the air, soaring
like a bird in flight.
The vast plain shrinks beneath her and she rides the sky lanes. As she
gets even higher she looks down on the land beneath her and sees a huge
face that she didn't see before when she was on the ground. It was the
face of a man, with sharp eyebrows, flowing hair and striking eyes.
Suddenly, the face turns and looks up at her. The lips move and he
starts to say something, but Ranma-chan passed through a high-roving
cloud at that moment. When she emerged from its white fluffiness, the
face had disappeared.)
(Ranma-chan tosses and turns on her futon, disturbed by the mysterious
omen yet reassured in some inexplicable way. She feels, yet doesn't
feel, a subtle change taking place in her body, one of many yet to come.
Darkness closes in upon Nerima ward, and soon only the chirps of
crickets break the silence that is the night.)
=-=-=-=-=-End Part One=-=-=-=-=-=
-By WebDragon