This  is  something  a little different from the  other  
crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit 
of both worlds without making it too much like one or the 
other. Despite the names
shared by these characters with their originals, the characters 
may not necessarily act the way their namesakes would. Keep 
it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit more mature, but still 
keeping a bit of
absurdity to keep things interesting. Also keep in mind that 
there are quite a number of cameos from various sources. 
Spot them all and win a prize! (Not cash, sorry...) Please send 
C&C and any suggestions on the story to 
ebon@i-manila.com.ph.  

Standard   fanfic   disclaimer  averring  that   all   characters, 
situations,  places and events with even a vague  resemblance  
to the  work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, 
CLAMP, whoever did Koko  wa  Greenwood or any one of a 
number of works, probably was borrowed in  the  first  place. 
Apologies  to  all. Rights are to whoever owns them. Don't 
bother to sue, though. I'm broke.


I hereby present, for the reader's perusal:
        Sore wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama.
        (That's 1/2 My Goddess.)
        A Ranma 1/2 - Oh! My Goddess semi-crossover fanfic 
by Scriviner

PART I: Of Things Free and Unwished For

             Just  a  short distance away from the campus of  the  
Nekomi Institute of Technology was the Greenwood Dorm 
and Dojo. It was a generally quiet little  place in a  generally 
quiet little     neighborhood. Most of the time. 
             The thing is, you see, the Greenwood D & D was a 
men's dorm. Not only  that... it was the dorm of used by the 
N.I.T. Martial  Arts Varsity  team. The place where  most of 
the school's best fighters ended up.  As  a result, a lot of  the 
students who  lived  here  were  healthy strapping men of 
action, little given to introspection or peaceful contemplation. 
In simple terms  this meant lots of big, strong martial artists 
with short tempers and a  knack for causing  plenty  of  
property  damage. Greenwood was well loved by the local 
building  contractors  for their  contributions  to  the local 
economy and much hated by insurance companies for the 
constant damage the place kept sustaining.  This was 
probably the only dormitory in  town  which had a policy 
covering incidental obscure weaponry damage (including the  
infamous bandanna, umbrella, broom  and  toilet-training 
potty subclauses), Chi strikes, and incidental furniture 
damage  by  hurling. As things stood now, it  looked  like  
their rates were going to go up once more. They were at it 
again. Three of  the dorm's residents were running down the 
main hall  to the dojo. To put things more precisely, two of  
the  men were chasing a third. That was Ranma Saotome. 
This sort of thing was generally a prelude to trouble. 
	Ranma  was  already  breathing hard as his  two  
dorm  mates chased  him.  He was a handsome young man in 
his early  twenties dressed  in a red Chinese shirt and some 
comfortable  pants. His hair, which was pulled back into a 
short braid, bounced back  and forth  as  he ducked and 
dodged the  various  bandannas,  knives, yoyos and furniture 
that were being lobbed in his direction.
	Aside  from his two pursuers Ranma had an  unusual  
problem. Women. They loved him. They really, really loved 
him. He had  his own fan club and everything.
	It  wasn't  as  if he did anything  to  encourage  them.  
If anything, he actively tried to discourage them. It didn't 
work, of course. They still popped up in the hallways and in 
his classes, giving  him gifts, love letters, inviting him to 
dinner,  dropped by  the dorm on the flimsiest of excuses. 
Another man might  have settled  back and just enjoyed it, 
Mikado Sanzenin of the  combat skating team came to mind, 
but Ranma vehemently disliked it. 
	He  didn't  dislike the girls personally or the food  
(his father  had raised him to never turn down anything free) 
but all of the attention tended to be distracting during 
training. Also, there were only so many jealous boyfriends, 
irate brothers, and angry  fathers a man could take at one 
time. His dorm mates didn't like it all that much either. They 
claimed that their own  training  was starting  to suffer 
because of all the distractions caused by Saotome's  fans.  
Actually, they were mostly just jealous.
	They finally managed to corner him in the dojo. 
	"Nowhere  to run, Saotome. Give up now and we 
might go  easy on you," said one of the men.
"Maybe..." said the other ominously cracking his knuckles.
	"No way, man!" said Ranma defiantly.
	The fellow he addressed was an impressively 
muscled, heavy set man dressed in a brown shirt with torn 
sleeves and an old pair of beige  jeans.  He had a tiger striped 
bandanna to  hold  back  his shock of black hair. His face was 
currently twisted into a scowl. This was Ryoga Hibiki. He was 
not happy. He was  rarely  happy. The true reasons for which 
may become clearer at a later date, but as far as he was 
concerned, there was only one consistent source  of his 
aggravation and he was currently shouting at it,  "Ranma!  I 
told you already! It's your turn to stay and watch the dorm!" 
	The  other  man,  taller than  Ryoga and  with  a  far  
more slender  build nodded in agreement. He was wearing a  
long  white overcoat  and a pair of ridiculously thick glasses. 
He was good looking in an oddly predatory manner and had  
long  black  hair which  fell  straight  to the small of his back. 
His arms  were folded  across  his chest as he sent a look  of  
amused  contempt towards Ranma. This was Mousse, a 
Chinese exchange student and one of  Ranma's dormmates. 
He noted in calm tones, "Hibiki is right,  Saotome.  you've 
been  going  out every night with your women for the  past  
three weeks,  leaving us with the duty of watching over the  
dorm.  You are the only one who has not completed his dorm 
sitting obligation in  over a  month..." he continued even as 
he took a moment to  clean  his glasses  on the cuff of his 
sleeve, "... it is only fitting  that this  entire week be yours, 
eh?" As he slipped his  glasses  back on, Mousse realized with 
some small measure of embarrassment that he  was now 
talking to the punching bag. The other two  tactfully avoided 
any comment.
	"Aw, c'mon you guys! They aren't MY women and 
it's not  like I  ask them out, or anything..." began Ranma, 
"They're  the  ones chasing me--"
	"That  makes  it worse!" Ryoga interrupted, "They  
waltz  in here and drag you out to the movies or dinner even 
in the  middle of training sessions, it's getting embarrassing, 
Ranma! All those girls  chasing  you..."  Ryoga's hands had  
already  balled  into fists.
	"Even  when  you're supposed to be guarding  the  
dojo,  you manage to sneak a girl or two in by the time we get 
back. it just isn't done..." Mousse added disapprovingly.
	"I don't sneak them in, they sneak in on their own..." 
Ranma replied, "Ahh... You guys are just jealous," he added 
under his breath.
	"What was that, Saotome?" asked Mousse in low and  
dangerous tones.
	Ryoga took it a little more personally, roaring, "That  
does it, Saotome! I've had enough of you, you arrogant little--
" 
	Ryoga  leapt  into  the air sending a  flurry  of  
bandannas ripping  straight at Ranma's head. Ranma 
managed to jump  to  one side  in order to avoid the 
bandannas leaving them to embed  into the Dojo's floor. 
Mousse, with exquisite timing stepped back  and released  a  
storm  of  chains,  ropes  and  various  other  less identifiable 
things from the sleeves of his overcoat. Ranma,  who had  left  
himself  open while avoiding the  bandannas  was  soon 
wrapped  tight  in  steel  and string.  He  fell  to  the  ground 
struggling to break free of his bonds.
	Ryoga landed with a little smile on his lips, "Now, 
Ranma... we're sure you'll be staying your shift."
	"I'll get you guys for this!!" 
	"No doubt you'll try, Saotome. We'll be back in a few 
hours. Make sure to take any messages and to clean up while 
we're gone," said  Mousse, turning his back on Ranma and 
walking  purposefully towards  the  door. He was smiling as 
he flipped his  glasses  up onto his head.
	"Hey, at least let me out of these chains first you 
guys!!"
	Ryoga walked with Mousse towards the dojo's door 
and cracked his  knuckles, "You can get out of those on your 
own,  Ranma.  Oh yeah..." Ryoga said turning to look at 
Ranma again, a broad smile on his face, "Mousse and I 
already talked to the dorm  manager... If  anybody catches 
another of your girls in here, you are  going to  get  kicked  
out of this dorm. No  more  violations  will  be tolerated."
	"But I don't help them sneak in, you stupid jerks!"
	"That's  what you say," replied Mousse cynically 
then  added in  an  amused  tone,  "Try not to scratch  the  
floor  too  much squirming around, Saotome."
	Ryoga  and  Mousse laughed as they walked out of  
the  dojo, interrupted  only briefly by Mousse running face 
first  into  the wall next to the door.
	"Dumb  jerks..."  muttered Ranma to himself  as  he  
started snapping  the chains one after another. Half an hour 
later,  only his  ankles  were still bound when the phone in 
the  common  room suddenly rang.
	"Oh  great," Ranma muttered to himself as he  half  
bounced, half stumbled out of the dojo, "I wonder who that 
is?"
	"Hello?" Ranma asked into the phone's receiver.
	"Hello, sir, " said a soft woman's voice on the other 
end of the line, "This is the Goddess Relief Office, we will be  
sending our representative there shortly. Please stand by..." 
	"Hey,  who  is  this--"  Ranma  managed  to  blurt,   
before realizing that he was talking to the dial tone.
	Ranma  frowned  at the phone. He was used to  
strange  women calling him and leaving odd messages, but 
this was a new one.  He shrugged it off as just another girl 
trying to get his attention. He'd  had  enough of that. He 
stretched a little and  decided  to take a little soak to relax 
himself.
	As  he walked to the bath Ranma was actually glad 
the  Ryoga and Mousse had saddled him with dorm sitting 
duty. With Shinosuke, Konatsu and Tarou in the country for 
the semestral break, and Gosunkugi  at another of his Dark 
Ritual of Summoning Meetings, Ranma had the dorm all to 
himself. Provided none of  his would be self-appointed 
girlfriends showed up, he thought that he would  finally have 
a nice relaxing evening. A little  peace  and quiet  was 
precisely what he needed just now. Too bad  he  wasn't going 
to get any.
	Ranma  was sitting up in the hot bath with his eyes  
closed, gently dozing. "Blessed silence at last," murmured 
Ranma just  as a sudden burst of light illuminated the 
bathroom.
	Ranma's eyes flew open to see a widening black 
circle on the surface  of  the water. Light seemed to be 
pouring out  from  the circle and energy crackled at its edges 
as it grew. Ranma blinked his  eyes, trying to get used to the 
light when he got the  vague impression  of a form rising 
from the circle. Suddenly the  light was gone and there she 
was.
	Long seconds passed as she stood over Ranma with 
her feet on the  opposite  sides of the tub, looking rather  
shocked  at  his state  of dress (or undress). She was in a 
white outfit,  trimmed in  red  which looked vaguely like a 
short dress,  with  matching boots, gloves and jacket. 
Strapped to her back was a large, oddly mechanical  looking 
hammer also in red and white. Her long  black hair was 
drawn into a  ponytail, that reached to just  behind her knees. 
Ranma had just enough time to notice that despite  her 
surprised expression she was also rather cute... 
	Before  Ranma got a chance for a closer look, she'd  
whipped the hammer off her back and brought it up over her 
head with both hands,  in an attack position. She screamed, 
"You  pervert!!"  as she brought the hammer down on 
Ranma's head. 
	Ranma's  reflexes  barely saved him as he ducked  
under  the water and surfaced behind her. Her hammer 
crashed into the water, missing him by inches and slammed 
into the tub's floor,  cracking it. Half of the water in the tub 
was sent splashing out onto  the bathroom floor.
	"Hey stop that you idiot!" shouted Ranma at the girl.
	Realizing  that  this pervert was now behind her,  the  
girl tore the mallet loose from the floor, whirled around 
swinging the mallet  in a wide flat arc. Dripping wet and 
rather naked,  Ranma jumped  onto the hammer, and vaulting 
from it,  launched  himself across the room towards the towel 
rack. Ranma's unexpected weight on  the hammer made the 
girl lose her grip. Undeterred, the  girl jumped  at Ranma 
from her position on the side of the tub,  ready to pound him 
to oblivion, with or without her weapon.
	Ranma managed to grab one of the towels off the 
rack as  the girl closed in. Ranma tried to simultaneously 
dodge the girl, tie the  towel  around his waist and run for the  
bathroom  door.  He would have made it too, if only the floor 
hadn't been so wet.
	With a cry of "Who's an idiot, you  pervert?!" the  
girl rushed Ranma. 
	He  managed  to neatly sidestep her blow as he 
tucked  in  a corner of the towel. He took another step toward 
the door as  the girl  suddenly  changed tactics and whirled 
around  to  drive  an elbow  into his gut. Ranma slipped 
suddenly on the wet floor  and struck the girl's elbow with his 
nose. Hard. Her blow sent  him flying  into  the opposite wall. 
He stuck to the wall for  a  few seconds  before  sliding off 
and leaving a shallow  Ranma  shaped impression in the 
shattered tiles of the wall.
	"What's  going  onnnnn..?"  Ranma  managed  to  
say   before slipping into unconsciousness.
	The  girl  seemed  to calm down as  she  realized  
that  the pervert was now out cold. 
	"Serves  him right," she muttered. She took a good  
look  at him,  now sprawled on the floor, and a look of  
confusion  passed across her eyes suddenly followed by 
horror. She murmured  aloud, suddenly appalled, "Oh no... 
was that the client?"

	Meanwhile,  one floor up and a few doors down the 
hall  from the bathroom, was Hikaru Gosunkugi's room. It 
vaguely resembled a cross  between NASA mission control 
and an occult  antique  shop. 
	While it wasn't unheard of for some of Gosunkugi's 
stuff to glow, that  was  usually because he'd spilled 
luminescent paint on it by accident. One of his numerous  
pieces  of camera equipment suddenly began to glow, without 
apparent cause. Much as Gosunkugi would have liked to 
believe it, that wasn't normal.
	The  diffuse  light  coalesced slowly and  began  to  
gather itself  about  the camera's lens. The light collapsed on  
itself creating  a  tiny pinpoint on the lens through  which  a 
beautiful  redheaded  young woman  suddenly,  impossibly  
stepped through.  She  looked  around her in confusion  and  
called  out, "Hello? Anybody home?"

	Ranma was in his room as he woke up slowly. He'd 
just had an awful nightmare where he was being chased by 
this mad woman  with a  mallet. It took a moment for him to 
realize that he was  still dressed only in a towel and that he 
was not alone.
	The girl from his dream was sitting next to him on 
the  bed, the immense hammer now strapped to her back once 
more. She smiled tentatively at him. Up close he could see 
that she had some  sort of odd triangular markings on her 
forehead and at the corners  of her eyes and she wasn't much 
younger than he was. 
	Ranma  winced as he felt his nose, "You're not going 
to  hit me again, are you?"
	"I'm  really  sorry about that, Saotome-san...  this  is  
my first job in the field and I was a little nervous."
	"How do you know my name?"
	"We're supposed to know all about our clients, 
Saotome-san."
	Clients? thought Ranma to himself.
"Clients  of the Goddess Relief Office," she clarified.
	Ranma  sat up, "What are you talking about? Was 
that you  on the  phone a while ago?" he asked, remembering 
the strange  phone call. 
The  girl  looked as though she were about  to  answer  when 
something  else occurred to him, "How the heck did you  get  
into the  bathroom?  What  were you doing in  there?"  then  
added  to himself quietly, "No, wait... I know what she was 
doing in there, she were trying to smash me to a pulp..."
	"For which I'm really sorry Saotome-san," she said 
answering his unspoken thought, "Let me introduce myself 
first, I am Akane Tendo, Goddess of Conflicts 1st class, 2nd 
category, limited license..." she said with a bow.
	"A  goddess..." said Ranma skeptically, "Yeah.  
Right.  Pull the other one."
	"... and I am here to give you one wish. Nearly any 
wish you could want," Akane continued brightly.
	"Very  original..." said Ranma looking annoyed, 
"You're  the most creative girl who's tried to sneak in here so 
far."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Akane, confused.

	The redhead was having a little trouble finding her  
client. She was quite certain that he would be in the building 
at  least, but  so  far she had not had much luck. She'd found a  
couple  of risque  magazines,  a cell phone, an unopened can 
of soda  and  a walkman... but nothing much client-wise.
	She  was  a little short, but not that it  really  
mattered, since she was floating a couple of inches off the 
ground  anyway. She  was very attractive possessing a certain  
delicate  feminine charm. Her shock of long red hair was in a 
braid which reached to her  waist. Her clothes consisted of a 
multilayered  ensemble  of white  and purple which seemed to 
shift as she walked.  Her  blue eyes  betrayed confusion as she 
peeked into each of the rooms  in turn. So far, still nothing. 
No matter... she'd find this Saotome person  eventually, she 
thought to herself as she passed  through the door of another 
locked room. 

	"Original,"  continued Ranma, "I mean most of the 
girls  who come  here  just  drop off candy or food or special 
free pizza deliveries, or something." 
	"What are you talking about?" she said her brow 
furrowing as she seemed to understand something, "You 
think I'm here because I like you!?!" she started to laugh.
	It was now Ranma's turn to be confused. "What's so 
funny?"
	"Its just that I've never seen such a large ego on a  
mortal before..!"  she  replied  before breaking  into  fresh  
gusts  of laughter.
	"Large ego?!" Ranma replied, incensed, "What 
would you know, you uncute girl!"
	Akane,  suddenly frowned at him in mid laugh, 
"What did  you call me?!"
	"Uncute!" Ranma replied without thinking, as was 
his wont.
	"I  thought so..." she said as she pulled a  smaller  
mallet from somewhere inside her jacket and walloped 
Ranma to the floor.
	"Now..."  she said taking a moment to put away  the  
smaller hammer, "Who were you calling uncute, Saotome-
san?" said Akane to Ranma who had been knocked to the 
floor.
	Ranma put a hand to his head as he got back on the 
bed.  His ears  were  still ringing from that unexpected blow.  
She  wasn't acting like one of the girls who normally had a 
crush on him,  he thought  to  himself. Usually those girls did 
their  violence  to each other, not to him... it was usually the 
angry boyfriends  he had to worry about...
	"Precisely, Saotome-san." said Akane smugly. "I 
don't have a crush  on  you," she seemed to find something  
immensely  amusing about the concept.
	"Wait  a  minute. I just realized something...  you've  
been answering my questions--"
	"...  before  you   say  them.  For  the  duration  of   
our interview, I am allowed to read your thoughts in order to  
better anticipate your every need."
	"You're reading my mind?" he asked.
	"Not entirely... just your surface thoughts." she 
smiled.
	"Okay  so  what  am I thinking  now?"  Ranma  
asked,  trying to think about onigiri, but somehow unable to 
keep his thoughts of how cute she looked out  of  his head... 
	Akane  blushed  a  little, and smiled,  "Er...  thanks.  
I'm flattered."
	"About onigiri?" asked Ranma, puzzled.
	"No... you were thinking about how... er... cute I... 
um..." Akane continued, blushing. 
	Ranma's  eyes bugged out a little. "So... um... You're  
sure you're not... er... You mean you're not another of my... 
erhm..." asked Ranma, now rather embarrassed.
	Akane  sobered enough to supply the word, 
"...groupies?  No, not  at  all," she smiled at him again. 
Ranma couldn't  help  but smile  back. She was just so cute. "I 
told you, Saotome-san,  I'm here to give you your wish."
	"Could you just call me Ranma, please...  Akane, 
right?"
	"Okay."
	"So let me get this straight... a wish?"
	"Mmm-hm. One wish." Akane said holding up one 
finger.
	"So  what  can  I wish for? Can I wish  to  have  the  
world destroyed?"
	"Actually, you could, but we don't like to do business  
with that  kind  of  client. That's why  there's  a  strict  
screening process."
             "So why me?"
	Akane just shrugged. "You fit the criterion."
	Ranma  felt  oddly flattered by that, "So I  could  ask  
for anything, short of world destruction?"
"Pretty much."
	"Hmm...  I have to think about this..." he muttered  
quietly to  himself,  "World  domination..? Nah...  richest  
man  in  the world..? Nah... world's best martial artist..? 
nah..." 
	Ranma's  head suddenly snapped up as he realized  
something.
"What time is it?"
	"Nearly  ten thirty," Akane replied, mentally  
checking  the time, "Why?"
	"You've got to get out of here!" said Ranma, panic 
rising in his  voice,  "My  dorm mates are arriving  soon,  if  
they  catch another  girl in here because of me, I'm going to 
get kicked  out of here!"
	"Well then you'd better make your wish fast, then..."
	"I'm too worried to make a wish! I could wish for the  
wrong thing  and  totally  ruin  my life forever!  I  don't  need  
this aggravation!"
	"Well...  what if we leave for a while, so they don't  
catch me here?"
	"I  can't leave, I have to stay here until they come  
home," Ranma  said,  every so often cocking his ears to  
check  for  the approach  of  Ryoga and Mousse, "Argh... 
Please...  don't  bother with the wish, just get out of here? I 
have enough problems,  I'd rather not worry about you and a 
wish too..."
	"You're turning down your wish?" Akane asked, 
shocked.  "You can't  do  that! No one's done that in 
centuries!" she  was  also beginning to feel a rising tide of 
panic and depression, "It's me isn't it? Just because this is my 
first assignment you're picking on me..." tears were beginning 
to leak out of the corners of  her eyes.
	"Argh..! That's not what I said! It's just that you have  
to leave  now, otherwise I'll be in really deep trouble...  but  
its not  your  fault...  but  I'd rather  not  worry  you...  Do  
you understand?"   he said, now concerned with both himself  
and  her and the possibility of imminent arrivals.
Akane  stood up and turned towards the door,  "Fine...  I'll 
just go back up to heaven... a failure..." she wiped her tears on 
the back of her hand.
	She  was already out the door and storming to the  
bathroom, down the hall before Ranma was able to catch up 
with her.

	A  few  doors down and around the corner,  the  
redhead  was getting bored looking for her client. She was 
taking a break. She was  stretched out on Ryoga's bed, 
reading one of his  magazines, drinking the soda she'd found 
all the while listening to music on the  old walkman. She was 
a little annoyed at the  thing  too. There  was something 
wrong with the volume control,  because  the sound  kept 
getting suddenly loud, then quiet, then loud. It  was starting 
to get on her nerves.
	Despite  the  walkman, however, she was certain  
that  she'd heard  a  noise... maybe that would be Saotome. 
With  a  resigned sigh, she got off the bed and drifted out into 
the corridor,  not bothering  to remove the head phones. That 
right there was a  big mistake.

	"Look, Akane..." he said, tentatively putting a hand 
on  her shoulder, "It's not you... girls have been after me and 
bothering me for most of my life. You're one of the few 
women I've actually been able to have a decent conversation 
with, even though we just met  today... and you don't 
necessarily count as a woman  because you're a goddess... 
and... er... um..."
	Akane  looked up at him, somewhat confused by his  
babbling. She  could  feel concern coming from him which 
made her  smile  a little, "Okay. I think."
	"That's  better. Its just that I don't want either of us  
to get in trouble... do you have to grant a wish?"
	"Well... not really, wishes have been refused before 
without penalty.  It's  just a little embarrassing for me to come 
back without having granted it. Do you really want me to 
go?"
	"Well, I enjoyed your company... um... and I don't 
want  you to  go as such... it's just... I don't really want the  
problems, you understand..? What if I give the wish to you?"
	Akane glanced downwards momentarily, "I'm a 
Goddess... we're not allowed to make wishes for ourselves..."
	"Oh. Um... er... Okay. So I can't give it to you..."
	Akane's eyes were dry now, "All right,  I  
understand.  The wish can be returned to Heaven without  
problems," she favored him with a small smile, "I guess I'm  
not surprised the Yggradsil system picked you to receive a 
wish."
	"Thanks," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his 
head with a hand, blushing faintly.
	"I'd better go now before you get into any trouble..." 
Akane said.
	"Well... will you be able to come back? I mean... 
when I don't have to worry about my dorm mates? Just to 
talk? Or something?" Ranma was quietly railing at the 
injustice of it all... he'd finally found a girl he liked ... 
unfortunately she was a Goddess...
	Akane shook her head sadly, "We're not really 
allowed on Earth during our off duty hours..."
	"Well,  if it's any consolation for you... if I had to 
spend all  my time with a girl anyway,  I wish I could be with 
a girl like you."

	The redhead turned the corner, and there he was! 
Her client! He  was  talking to some other girl... probably a  
girlfriend  or something, she thought. He was cutie, mused 
the redhead...   With some fumbling she tried to adjusted the 
volume on the Walkman.
	She barely managed to catch him saying the words 
"...I  wish I could be... a girl like you..."
	A  look  of shock crossed her face as she  heard  this.  
The marking  on her forehead suddenly flared with brilliant 
light  as she rose into the air. 

	Akane  was  taken by surprise by  Ranma's  
statement...  but there  it  was  a clearly stated. The  marking  
on  her  forehead suddenly  flared  with  a brilliant light as  
she  rose  off  the ground. 
	Ranma  staggered back as Akane was enveloped 
suddenly  in  a glowing  column of white light which reached 
through the  ceiling and  into  the  heavens. Behind him  
another  eruption  of  light occurred  and  as he turned to 
look, he saw a  beautiful  redhead similarly cocooned in light. 
	Within moments the effect had subsided, allowing 
both  women float  gently back to the ground. With a single  
quavering  voice the two women said, "Your wish is granted."
	There  was  a brief moment of silence before the  two  
women noticed  each  other and everybody started talking  at  
the  same time.
	"Ranko!?" roared Akane at the redhead.
	"Akane?!" said the redhead, just as surprised.
	"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" said 
Ranma to both.
	"What are you doing here?"
	"Me?! What are you doing here?"
	"It  was my turn on the duty roster, you idiot!" 
Ranko  said floating in Akane's direction.
	"Your turn was last week! He's my client!"
	"It was for today! I already granted him his wish!"
	"My wish? What wish?" asked Ranma, now utterly 
confused.
	"YOU?! I granted his wish you incompetent red 
headed  excuse for a goddess!"
	"Incompetent  am  I!?," Ranko said in  a  dangerous,  
silken voice  as she drew back slightly. A glowing sphere was  
beginning to form between her hands.
	"That's  right... Here, let me show you how  
incompetent..." replied Akane pulling her hammer out of its 
holster. She gave the head  a  slight quarter twist and it began 
to hum in  an  ominous tone.
	"Nobody's  going  to do anything to anyone until  I  
get  an explanation!!" shouted Ranma at the top of his lungs.
	Ranko and Akane stopped in mid-threaten to look at 
him.
	"Alright.  Much  better. Now..." he said turning  to  
Akane, "Who's she?"
	The  glowing  sphere Ranko was holding had  
disappeared  and Akane  had put away her weapon as well. 
Both women crossed  their arms at the same time.
	"That's Ranko," replied Akane in a sullen tone.
	"Ranko, Goddess of Affection, first class, second  
category, limited.  I'm  her  cousin,"  replied  Ranko,  in  a  
tone  which indicated  she  wasn't  particularly happy  about  
the  state  of affairs either.
	"Fine.  Much  better. Now what are you  doing  here  
Ranko?" asked  Ranma, trying hard not to sound as if he were  
talking  to children.
	"It  was my turn for the field assignment according  
to  the duty  roster, but hammer girl over here," Ranko said  
nodding  to Akane, "Must have misread the chart."
	"And  I  keep telling you that it's my  turn  today!"  
Akane retorted sharply, getting ready to pull out the maligned 
mallet.
	"I don't care..." Ranma replied, now gritting his 
teeth,  he was  starting  to get a migraine. "Now... what was 
that  about  a wish?"
	"The Head Office granted your wish," said both 
women at  the same time. They glared at each other.
	"We can't have both granted him a wish, he's only 
authorized one!" said Ranko.
	"Wait... What wish?" asked Ranma, still rather lost 
in  this conversation, "I don't remember making a wish--"
	"Yes you did," Ranko interrupted, "It was rather  
surprising I'll  give you that much. Nobody's asked for that in 
at  least  a couple of decades..."
	Akane  thought  for a moment then said, "We'd  
better  check with  the  Head Office and clear this up," she 
turned  to  Ranma, "Can we use your phone?"
	"Sure...  just clear this up fast. The guys are probably  
on their way back by now," Ranma sighed, "This way," he 
said leading them down the hall.
	"Okay,"  Akane  replied smiling at Ranma, "I'm  
pretty  sure this  will  all  turn  out to  be  the  henna  haired  
harridan's fault..." she added, jerking a thumb at Ranko.
	"Who  are  you  calling a harridan,  amateur?"  said  
Ranko, incensed.
	"Amateur am I?" returned Akane through gritted 
teeth.
	"Cousins,"  muttered Ranma, to himself, "Of  course  
they're cousins... some things must run in the family, I 
guess."
	"What  was  that, Saotome?" Ranko suddenly  asked  
Ranma  in a silken voice. 
	"Erhm... nothing..." Ranma replied lamely.
	Akane  picked  the  phone up, frowning  all  the  
while  and punched the buttons in an incredibly complex 
sequence.
	"Hello, yes," Akane said into the receiver, "This is  
Akane, Sir...  There seems to be some sort of mix up here, 
Sir... Both contracts  are approved..? Is he getting his wish  
twice  then..? What do you mean she sent up a different  
wish..?  Different contracts..? Sir, why would my contract be 
worded like that?! Ranko's staying here too..?"
	"I'm WHAT?!?!" screamed Ranko, livid.
	"She's what?!" Ranma roared simultaneously.
	Akane continued to talk, "Yes, Sir, Ranko's still 
here. I'll put  her  on," she handed the phone to the redhead,  
"Here...  He wants to talk to you."
	Ranko grabbed the receiver, "What do you mean I'm  
staying?! I  sent  up the wish he wanted..! There has to be  
some  sort  of mistake..!  What  do  you  mean I made  the  
mistake..!?  He's  a what..?!"  she  added in low tones, "Oh 
boy... But if it  was  an invalid wish anyway why are we still 
enforcing the contract? What do you mean you don't know?! 
Er... sorry, Sir... Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir... I understand that's how 
it works, Sir... Good bye, Sir. ARGH!!!" Ranko slammed the 
phone back  onto its cradle.
	"Well?" asked Ranma expectantly.
	"Well... apparently you are receiving two wishes..." 
replied Ranko, nervously.
	"What wish are you talking about? I haven't even 
wished  for anything.  I was just about to send Akane back to 
Heaven without  giving  me the wish..."
	"Well..."  said  Akane fighting off a blush,  "You  
sort  of wished  you  could spend the rest of your time with a 
girl like me... It was interpretted to mean you wanted to spend 
your time with... me."
	"I...  I... what?" sudden realization dawning on  his  
face, "Oh..."
	"...and  now  we have a contract which  says  I will 
be your companion... for the rest of your life. Um... He told 
me the contract is... um... sort of worded like a formal 
betrothal." 
	Ranma  looked as though he were ready to faint,  
"Betrothal!? Betrothal? But it's not really a betrothal is it?"
	"Um... there's no real need for us to marry or 
anything... it was just the wording," said Akane vaguely. 
Truth to tell... if she understood it correctly they were bound 
in such a way that was even closer than any normal 
marriage...
	"Okay... okay... " said Ranma, calming down 
slightly, "I think I can deal with that... what's this about 
another wish?"
	"Er..."  Ranko replied with obvious reluctance, "I  
sort  of heard  you  saying that you... er wished you  could  
be...  er... agrlykmi."
	"What was that? Slow down, Ranko, I didn't hear 
you.  Wished I could be what?"
	"Er... a girl like me."
	"THAT'S THE OTHER WISH!!!?!?!?" roared 
Ranma.
	"It's not my fault!" Ranko shot back.
	In  a fit of rage Ranma rushed forward and grabbed 
Ranko  by her arms, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WANTED 
TO BE A GIRL?!?!?"
	What  rather surprised him was the fact that his 
voice  came out  a few octaves higher. He also noticed rather 
belatedly  that he  was  now the same height as Ranko. Also... 
his  balance  felt distinctly...  odd. Eyes glazed in shock and 
not daring  to  look down,  Ranma's  hands moved to touch 
his chest.  Rounded.  Rather well rounded. Very distinctly 
female...
	Ranko produced a small hand mirror from 
somewhere and showed it  to Ranma. He looked at it 
uncomprehendingly.  The  reflection looking  back at him 
wasn't the rugged good looks and  dark  hair he'd  become  
accustomed  too. Rather  it  was  Ranko's  delicate features  
and red, red hair... He was now a she. This was  waaaay too  
much.  Ranma gave a full throated scream  of  horror  before 
fainting dead away.
As  he  slumped  to the floor, Akane  turned  a  wry  glance 
towards Ranko, "You could've handled that better you know."
	"Oh shut up and wake him up. I still have to explain 
how  it works."
	Akane  merely sighed. She knelt down next to 
Ranma, who  now looked  exactly like Ranko except for the 
shorter braid  and  the  lack of facial markings, and gently 
slapped her face. "Wake up." 
	Ranma  came to his senses after a few more slaps. 
"Ow.  Stop that..." he said before realizing that his voice was 
now back  to normal, "Hey, I'm not a woman, it was all just a 
bad dream..." he said happily, before noticing his current 
situation. He was still on  the floor, but Akane was now 
cradling his head somewhat.  All in all not a bad position to 
be in if you're a man.
	Long  seconds  passed while the two tried to  sort  
out  who ought to move first all the while Ranko stood to one 
side with  a disgusted  look on her face. "Will you two love 
birds stop that? Just help him get up--"
	The door of the common room suddenly burst  open  
revealing Ryoga and Mousse, followed by Gosunkugi and a 
few of the other dorm residents who didn't go home for 
vacation.
	"I  knew  it!  I knew you couldn't  resist  the  
temptation, Ranma!" said Ryoga pointing an accusing finger 
at him.
	"You  were warned, Saotome," said Mousse,  "Your  
punishment will be most severe."
	Gosunkugi  didn't even bother making accusations. 
He  simply pulled out a 35mm camera and started taking 
photos.
	"Wait! It's not what it looks like really! I can 
explain!"
	"Oh,  really? Very well, then Saotome... I am curious 
as  to how  you intend to explain fact one," Mousse said 
holding up  one finger,  "Two  women  in  the  common  
room,  after  you'd   been specifically instructed not to let 
them in anymore. Then there is fact two, " he continued, 
holding up a second finger. 
	"The  fact  that  you are on the floor of  the  common  
room wearing  nothing  but  a  towel,  in  the  presence  of  
the  two aforementioned  women," Ranma made a small 
strangled sound as  he realized that he was indeed still 
wearing only his towel.  Mousse held up a third finger, "And 
fact three..."
	"The fact that you are currently being held by one of  
these aforementioned  women,"  Ranma  and Akane both  
blushed  as  they realized their positions. Both scrambled to 
stand up. Mousse held up a fourth finger in triumph.
	"And  finally,  fact four... we heard a scream  of  
feminine anguish as we entered the dorm, no doubt you 
forcing yourself  on the other lovely lady..." Ranko favored 
Mousse with a smile which caused his glasses to fog up, 
"Explain away that, Saotome. I dare you."
	"Er... If you put it that way. This looks really bad 
doesn't it?" asked Ranma.
	Most  of  the  other  dorm  residents  nodded  their   
heads vigorously in agreement, that yes, indeed it looked 
really bad.
	"I don't suppose we could overlook this..?"
	"Enough  talk, Ranma! Now take your punishment 
like  a  man! Expulsion from Greenwood!! Grab him!"
	Within  a  matter of minutes, Ranma, Akane  and  
Ranko  were grabbed, man- (or woman-) handled and thrown 
out onto the  street along with a small packed bag of Ranma's 
belongings.
	Ryoga  slammed  shut the door with the final  words,  
"We'll send  you  the  rest  of your stuff once you  give  us  
your  new address!"
	Ranma, still in the towel. Looked around him in 
dismay. "Why is this happening to me?!" he asked the 
heavens.
	"Bad karma?" offered Ranko with a grin.
	"Let  me in you jerks!!" cried Ranma, as he pounded  
on  the door.
	A  small crowd of people had already gathered to  
watch  the spectacle.  Murmurs of "Isn't that Ranma?", "A 
towel?",  "What  a pervert!",  "Nice tush though..." were 
already making  their  way around.
	"I'm really sorry about this Ranma," said Akane, 
hesitantly, "Um...  maybe you should... er... put something on  
first  before you catch cold..."
	"What  are  you talking abou--?" asked Ranma as  he  
glanced down, then around. 
	He gave a small strangled sound (sort of like an 
Aghk!  only with more feeling) and ducked behind one of the 
trash cans.
	"Hey!"  he  railed  at the crowd, "Haven't  you  
people  got anything better to do?!"
	As the people began to disperse, some shaking their 
heads at the state of the youth today and some with an 
occasional sidelong glance,  even one person who took a 
snapshot, Ranma asked  Akane, 
	"Uh... could you hand me some clothes from that 
bag?" 
	"Here..." offered Akane, doing her best not to look.
	"Thanks," he said as he changed into his clothes, 
doing  his best to keep the trash can between him and the two 
girls.
	Ranko  leaned to one side to get a better view of him 
as  he put his pants on and muttered, "Hey, that lady was 
right, he does have a nice tush..."
	"Ranko,  stop  that!" said Akane,  acutely  
embarrassed  for Ranma.
	"Anyway,   as   I  was  saying  before  I  was   so   
rudely interrupted,"  Ranko  said  as Ranma  finished  getting  
dressed, "Basically...  Ranma will turn into a girl if he comes 
too close to me."
	"What?!" said the other two simultaneously.
	"Here, watch." She moved close to Ranma, nearly 
touching him and suddenly, without even a puff of smoke or a 
three minute long transformation  sequence,  Ranma had 
turned into a  nearly  exact twin  of Ranko. Their only major 
difference was in the length  of hair and the face marks. 
Ranma's clothes were now looser in  some ways, but 
considerably tighter in others...
	"Argh!!"  said the now female Ranma, "Turn me 
back! Turn  me back!"
	"That's  the other thing... you change back only 
when  Akane touches you," Ranko said, now stepping back.
	"When I what!?" asked Akane
	"You've got to touch him."
	Akane stood next to Ranma and touched the tip of 
her  finger to  his  shoulder.  Just as quickly as he'd been  
turned  into  a woman, he was a man again.
	"See?" said Ranko, "Simple."
	"Who's  idea was this?" said Ranma, examining 
himself,  more or  less trying to make certain that all of his... 
ahem...  parts were where they were supposed to be.
	"I  don't  know. That's what was on the  contract...  
or  so Kami-sama said."
	"Kami-sama?" asked Ranma.
	"Yeah. On the phone, remember?"
	"You're kidding, right?"
	Both girls shook their heads.
	"That was hi-- I mean, that was Him?"
	Both girls nodded.
	"Geez...  I don't think you can get a higher authority  
than that, I guess," then Ranma brightened perceivably, 
"Well,  that's simple then. If you just stay away from me, I 
don't have to worry about turning into a woman!"
	"It's  not quite that easy, Ranma," said Akane, 
"Neither  of us can be separated from you... if you try to leave 
either of us permanently... let's just say bad things will 
happen.
	"Oh  great..."  said Ranma, hanging his head, "No  
place  to live  and stuck with two goddesses, one of whom 
will give  me  an instant sex change if I stand to close to her."
	Ranko  looked  faintly  bored and  Akane  was  still  
rather embarrassed by it all.
	"Let  me  get  this  straight... you've  got  some  sort  
of contract  with  me,  right?  Making  sure  that  my  wishes  
stay fulfilled?"
	Akane nodded.
	"But  one  of the wishes was faulty right? Couldn't  I  
just have that one annulled or something?"
	"Well, you see Ranma, it's not that easy. Something 
happened when the Ygradsil System processed your request. 
My contract with you is inexorably linked to Ranko's contract 
with you--"
	"What  she means, Saotome," interrupted Ranko, "Is  
that  if you want to get rid of me, you have to get rid of her 
too..."
	Ranma had to think about that. "So, how do I do 
that?"
	"You have to break the contract... I'm not sure who 
did  the wording, but I was told you have to break her heart to 
break  that contract.  That  or if she wants to leave you and 
you  let  her." 
	Ranko  had a sour face on. She was the goddess of 
affection.  She knew  perfectly well that this idiot human and 
her tomboy  cousin were going to follow the dictates of their 
hearts. Damn.
	Ranma  gave a huge sigh. "Come on then you two. If  
I  can't get rid of either of you, I've at least got to see about  
finding us  a place to live," he picked up the bag and jerked  
his  thumb down the road "My van's parked around the 
corner..."
	The two goddesses shrugged and turned to follow 
him.
	As the three made their way down the curb, Ranma 
muttered to himself, "What else could go wrong..?"
	Overhead,  storm  clouds  rumbled  ominously  as  
though  in answer.



PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends 

	Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was 
mirroring  his sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He 
had been using  the phone  at Ucchan's for the better part of 
an hour now. It  was  a cozy, little, okonomiyaki  restaurant.  
The food  was  good  and reasonably priced, but  eating  here  
always reminded  him of an old friend of his from high school  
for  some reason, so he rarely went here. They were here 
because it was the only  place  still open in the vicinity. It's at 
times  like  this when  you  find  out who your real friends  
are,  he  thought  to himself. It was already past midnight and 
he still didn't have  a place to stay. 
	None  of  his friends had any room for him  and  two  
women. Mostly  it  would  be  either  just  for  him  (from  his  
female acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming 
from his  male friends) but not all three of them. 
             The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's  
roof was  starting  to  lull  Ranma to sleep.  He  was  
exhausted  and homeless.  This was a truly lousy way to end a 
day... He  glanced at his two companions to make sure they 
were doing okay. 
             Ranko  was  sitting contentedly at one booth nursing  
a  hot chocolate whose contents had already taken time to 
congeal at the bottom of the mug. Akane on the other hand 
looked as miserable as he felt, sipping her tea. He wished that 
he could be with her for the  rest  of  time... or so she'd said. 
That in and of  itself wasn't that bad. Ranma found that he 
rather liked her... even  if they'd  only  met a few hours ago 
and she had a tendency to get very violent. But what did you 
expect from the goddess of Conflicts?  Unfortunately, Ranko 
and a weird proximity  triggered sex change curse had 
somehow gotten into the deal as well.
             He  cradled  the receiver and took out his  phone  
card.  He walked  back to their booth, where he sat down next 
to Akane,  as far as possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... 
nothing."
             Ranko  shrugged  and took another drink out  of  her  
almost treacle like chocolate.
             "So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to 
admit  it, but  she  was  getting scared. She had never  had  to  
deal  with anything  like this before. She felt way out of her  
league.  Her duties used to include only weather patterns and 
competition  for food by wild animals... She wasn't used to 
dealing with people on a one on one basis. In the old days the 
extent of her dealings with humans only included getting 
them wet on schedule. The lousy weather was actually her 
fault. She tended  to  echo her sentiments to the sky... and 
right  now  she felt like crying.
             "Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," 
said Ranko airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."
             Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, 
what are you talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks 
to you and you call it a `temporary aberration'!?"
             "It's  not a problem. If something threatens  to  
invalidate the contract, that is, something threatens to 
separate either  of us  from you, the `Ultimate Force' will 
come into play  and  help facilitate  things and prevent 
contract breach. You'll  see...  " Ranko said with a shrug of 
her smooth shoulders.
             "What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.
             Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what 
I meant when I told you bad things would happen if you tried 
to get rid of either of us. What she means is that there is a 
force which seeks to make sure that all contracts with our 
office are enforced. She probably thinks that since not having 
a home will make us want to leave  you...  the  Ultimate Force  
will come into play and grant us a place to  live..."  she 
snapped her fingers, "Just like that."
             "Bingo,  hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the  
head... so to speak."
             "Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"
             "Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at 
the  two, "We  already  got kicked out of the Nekohanten by 
the  old  ghoul because you two started fighting."
             "Ahhh...  what  do  you know, anyway?"  said  Ranko  
with  a dismissive gesture.
             Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the 
Ultimate Force?"
             "Sure  I do... I've been serving the Goddess  Relief  
Office longer than you have, you know."
             "Do you remember what the response time is 
supposed to be?"
             "Yeah..."  Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she  
seemed  to realize   something.   Her  face  took  on  a   look   
of   acute embarrassment.
             "It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?"  
Akane asked nastily.
             "Er... yeah."
             "Ranma's  been  looking for a place for us for a  good  
hour now, wouldn't you say?"
             "Uh-huh..."   continued   Ranko,  not   liking   where   
the conversation was headed.
             "Doesn't that tell you something?"
             "Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of  
system error..." Ranko replied vaguely.
             Akane  stood  up, "A temporary aberration  would  
have  been spotted  an  hour  ago! Something is definitely  
wrong  with  our contracts if they're not getting enforced!"
             "Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma,  
pulling  Akane back  down  into  her seat, "If  I  understand  
you  correctly... your... er... `office' should have helped us find 
a place to stay by now?"
             Akane  and  Ranko glared at each other but  
eventually  both nodded.
             "So  something  has got to be wrong if we  haven't  
found  a place  yet?  Or does it just mean that  Akane  won't  
necessarily leave me if I don't find us someplace to live?"
             The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that 
was  a distinct possibility too.
             "Hmm...  does this mean the Ultimate Force will also 
try  to keep  me  from... er... breaking your heart? That would  
lead  to contract breach... right?"
             Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."
             "If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," 
said Ranko, "Don't bother.  I've  seen  people run smack dab  
against  the  Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight." 
             Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and 
thought to himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? 
Why?"
             He  eventually  said, "In any case, it looks like  we'll  
be sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."
             "The  van?!!?"  roared Ranko, drawing herself  to  
her  full  height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly 
impressive,  "That  piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise  my  
lovely young body scrunched up in that awful little heap!"
             "Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, 
now do  we? I  don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has 
no  more  money and  I  don't want to sleep in some alley or 
on  a  park  bench!" replied Akane, also standing up.
             Ranma  made  shushing gestures, but both  goddesses  
ignored him. 
             "Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table.
             Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to  
himself, "I don't need this aggravation..."
             "What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning 
towards  the source of the voice.
             The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette 
with long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had 
just  removed an apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written 
on it.  Under the apron, was a shirt with a button down collar 
and blue jeans.
             "I couldn't help but overhearing..."
             "They  could  hear them all the way  to  China..."  
muttered Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and 
walloped him on the head without looking.
             "I'm  closing  up in a few minutes... If  you  folks  
really don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room 
in  the back that has a couple of old futons. There should be 
enough room for three people. If you want, I can let you stay 
for the night."
             "Thank  you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her 
lashes and smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us 
the honor of telling us your name?"
             The  manager  blushed and looked flustered,  but  
eventually managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me 
Ukyou. I own  this place,  I  could  use some people to work  
here,  too  if  you're interested.  We might be able to work out 
a deal for you guys  to live on the premises... "
             Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in 
recognition... the name sounded oddly familiar...
             Akane  got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured  
softly, "I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."
             Ranma  jumped  up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou,  
we  really appreciate it."
             "Sure,  no  problem.  I  just couldn't  let  you  people  
go homeless.  It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with  
you to  protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at  
Ranma,  "You are?"
             "Ranma--" 
             "Ranko  Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough  
to  show Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.
             "Akane Tendo."
             Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"
             "Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They 
glared  at each other again.
             "Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the 
room."
             "Sure.  Thanks  again," said Ranma, smiling,  "If  
you  need anything...  anything  at all... I don't have much, 
but  I'll  be glad to give it if you ask. We owe you for this."
             "Well,  you could start by helping me clean  up,  
afterwards though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm 
sure I'll think of something..."
             The  manager  entered  a broom closet and  pulled  
out  some brooms  and  mops. Ukyou was feeling rather  
oddly  impulsive... inviting  these people to live at  Ucchan's  
without even  finding out who they were... but there was 
something  about that Ranma fellow which looked oddly 
familiar to Ukyou...
             Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.
             Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly.  For no 
discernible reason  to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of  
jealousy.  She shook  her  head  to clear it. Surely  she  
couldn't  be  feeling jealous over the way this guy was staring 
at Ranma, could she?
             Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was  decades 
ahead as far as sophistication was concerned. She understood  
the look  Ukyou  was  giving  Ranma  immediately,  but  
didn't   feel concerned  at all. After all, this poor sap was 
going to have  to go up against the Ultimate Force to get 
anywhere with Ranma. That wasn't  bloody  likely.  She 
smiled to  herself...  it  would  be interesting to watch though.

             The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou 
led  them to the store room, helping them to lay out the 
futons.
             "Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a 
smile,  "I live on the second floor. If you need anything, just 
knock on the door at the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants 
to take a bath  in the morning, it's the door on the landing. 
There are spare  towels in there, too."
             "Thanks,  Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully  blowing  
another kiss at Ukyou.
             The  manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko  
and  bowed out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a 
look of disgust and said, "Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless 
flirt!"
             "Hey,  it was the least I could do... considering that  
he's helping us out."
             "But did you have to bend over like that every time 
he  came close?"
             "I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides...  
I don't  think  I'm the one he's interested in..."  Ranko  let  her 
statement hang.
             "What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down 
his futon.
             "Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting 
some rather sultry looks someone else's way..."
             "Who?"  asked  Ranma  not  entirely  in  step  with  
matters innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"
             Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!"  she  had  
obviously picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... 
um..."
             "Jeez,  you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as  
she  took off her outer coat.
             "Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging 
Ranma on the shoulder,  "Just to make sure you don't try 
anything funny  while Akane and I are sleeping."
             Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from 
screaming again. This  entire turning into a woman thing was 
definitely  going  to take some getting used to.
             "What  do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked 
Ranma,  now with a girl's voice.
             "Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if 
you must have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She 
settled  into her futon and was snoring away within a matter 
of seconds.
             "I  am really starting to see why you don't like  her  
much, Akane," Ranma said.
             "Oh,  this  is nothing... she was a lot worse when  we  
were kids."
             Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is  
definitely going  to take some getting used too," she said, 
looking  herself over.
             Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would 
you  like me to change you back?"
             "Um...  you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko,  
with  a nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a 
point..."
             Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned 
into  one of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You 
wouldn't, dare!" 
             Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of 
course not!  I was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"
             "Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some 
reason she felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon 
again, smiling dangerously, "Well,  why not? I'm not cute 
enough for you, is that it?! Is that it?!!"
             "Argh..!  Put  that  thing down, Akane, I  didn't  say  
that either!  You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it again  
and 
        Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er... 
we just met  today. Besides, we're sharing the room with  your  
cousin... and... uh..."
             Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to 
say  after a  few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm 
kidding too,"  she said  unconvincingly, "But seriously, I 
mean it's no  problem  if you're a guy with us," she paused 
and looked him straight in  the eye, "I trust you."
             Ranma  smiled  at that, "That's nice to know,  
Akane..."  he coughed  nervously  and shot a glance at the 
other  goddess,  "If you're sure its no problem..."
             "Not  at all, come over here," she said beckoning  to  
Ranma over Ranko's sleeping form.
             Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder 
as  Ranko had done, but instead she impulsively placed her 
hand on  Ranma's cheek and watched the transformation. One 
moment, she was  taller than  Ranma, the next he was 
towering over her. She let her  hand rest on his cheek for a 
while longer. 
             The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane 
noticed  to her  surprise that Ranma's face began to get 
warmer and a  little red for some reason. Ranma put his hand 
over hers and  eventually said with some embarrassment "I 
think you can put your hand down, Akane-chan... We'd better 
turn in," he added hurriedly.
             "Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry,"  replied Akane  
also burning  red  with embarrassment. She certainly didn't  
miss  the fact that he had called her Akane-chan either.
             So  without  any further word, Ranma and Akane lay  
down  to sleep.  Akane was still trying to get used to how 
things were  in the human realm, but was certain that she was 
doing a good job of adapting. She still had a lot to think 
about... especially  about Ranma. 
             Ranma  was  certain  that he  would  have  trouble  
sleeping tonight,  despite  his  exhaustion. Not only was  there  
his  now rather  mutable  sexuality to consider and his  
current  homeless situation,  but  there was Akane as well... 
he was a man  of  his word, he wouldn't try anything... but he 
certainly couldn't  stop himself from thinking about it. 
             Both  were  so  busy covering  up  their  
embarrassment  and pretending  to sleep  that neither of them 
noticed  that  Ranko's snores had stopped. A small frown was 
already forming on  Ranko's features...  "So,  that's  how it 
is,"  she  thought  to  herself sleepily, mulling over the two's 
conversation,  "I didn't realize my tomboy cousin had a 
romantic bone in her body... Not good.  If she  keeps  this up, 
he'll never want to  break  her  contract... Akane and I'll be 
stuck down here forever..."
             "No  way.  Not if I can help it" she muttered  aloud  
before drifting back to sleep. 

 	Akane  got up fairly early the next morning. She was  
rather surprised  to  find the still snoozing Ranma, his  face  
under  a pillow,  was now back to being a female... Ranko had  
disappeared as  well,  but  Akane was sure she could  hear  
someone  singing to the tune of a radio. Very bad singing. 
Her curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever had 
happened   it  was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off  to  
find her. Akane moved up the stairs, to where the hideous 
singing was  louder. She  eventually realized that Ranko had 
taken Ukyou's offer of  a bath. The door to the changing room 
was unlocked and she  marched through  the divider without 
breaking stride. 
 	"Alright,  what  were  you trying to do  last  night?!"  
she roared.
 	Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with 
shock, cut off in midnote.  Akane was  also no doubt shocked. 
Ranma quickly ducked under the  water to  cover himself and 
replied, edging towards the far end of  the bath, "I didn't do 
anything!! I kept as far away from both of you as possible!" 
	Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly  
averted her  gaze  and  covered her eyes, "Oh God,  I'm  sorry  
Ranma,  I thought that was you still sleeping down there!"
 	"What are you talking about!?" 
 	Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering 
openly at Ranma, "Yeah, right Akane...  you  were just 
looking for an excuse to burst in on Ranma naked..."
 	"But  I thought that was him downstairs..!"  Akane  
angrily replied  turning  on Ranko. She stared as she realized  
what  had caused her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short 
as Ranma's and she was wearing a tank-top and Chinese 
pants similar to what Ranma was wearing last night.
 	Ranko  noticed her staring and gave her head a 
quick  shake, causing  the  rest  of her braid to unfold  from  
wherever  she'd hidden  it.  She smiled at Akane. "What a 
pair you  two  are!  An exhibitionist  and a voyeur!" she 
shouted as she dashed  out  the door, "Enjoy the show, 
Akane!"
 	With  a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a 
six  inch version  of herself, with stocky body dimensions and  
a  much larger head in proportion to the rest of her body. She 
looked a lot like a superdeformed doll  version of  herself. She 
slid down the banister and was  already  looking for a good 
hiding place.
 	"Sorry,  about  that,  Ranma..." said Akane  meekly  
as  she stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at 
the top of her  voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the  
distance,  thunder rolled, echoing her sentiments.
 	In  the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and  
muttered to himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"
 	Upstairs,  what  with all the noise, Ukyou was  
starting  to wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited 
those  people to  stay  the night. They seemed like nice 
enough people  at  the time. And that Ranma reminded 
Ukyou of an old friend back in high school.  "So  
handsome..."  the manager  sighed  and  opened  the 
apartment's front door. She shook her head Akane was on the 
lower landing, obviously searching for something.
 	"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
 	Noticing  Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er...  
Good morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."
 	Ukyou  looked  at her and saw how tense and alert  
she  was, "Akane? Is something wrong?"
 	Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just 
heard  a sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at 
all. 
 	"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou.
 	Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs 
where  a small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the 
doll a perplexed glance as it winked back at the manager.
 	"Ranko..."  Akane growled, totally focused on her  
prey  and ignoring  all  distractions, "Excuse me a minute,  
Ukyou..."  she said  as  she bounded down the stairs after  the  
now  retreating doll, her hammer up and ready.
 	Ukyou  was  utterly  confused  now.  With  a  shrug,   
Ukyou proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had 
not even heard the question.
 	The manager knocked on the bath door and said, 
"It's  Ukyou, mind if I join you?" 
 	Inside,  Ranma  said, "Sure come on in...  I'm  nearly  
done anyway," 
 	It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself.
 	Ukyou  entered the bath's changing room and  
stripped  down, taking extra care while removing the chest 
bindings. "It did seem odd though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's 
voice seemed a lot deeper than it  did  last  night..." she 
shrugged it off and  slid  open  the divider.
 	Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub 
when the divider  opened again... and time stopped. Standing 
just  outside was  a tall, attractive woman with handsome 
features. She  had  a smile, a small towel over one shoulder 
and that was about all she was  wearing. She was two up on 
Saotome though... his  towel  was across the room and he 
wasn't smiling. It took a few moments for the shock to wear 
off, but when it did...
 	"Who are you?!"
 	"You're not Ranko!!"
 	Both  screamed  simultaneously. Ranma ducked back  
into  the water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her 
best to  cover herself  with  the little towel. It wasn't doing  a  
particularly good job... Ranma was getting dangerously clear 
views of what the girl was trying to hide. She didn't like 
that...
 	Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly 
rushed up  to investigate.
 	"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as 
she  hurried into the bathroom.
 	The  little  doll Ranko bounced in a few moments  
later  and transformed  into her normal form in another puff 
of smoke,  "Now what?" she asked, annoyed. Their 
expressions suddenly changed  as they  got  a  better look at 
the  situation.  Ranko's  expression turned to amusement and 
Akane's had turned into one of shock.
 	Ranma  was out cold in the tub, face down with a  
stream  of bubbles  coming from his mouth. The girl had a 
towel rack in  one hand  which she had obviously torn off 
from one of the walls  and was using her other hand to hold 
up her towel.
 	The  girl turned her back to Saotome and said  
furiously  to Akane,  pointing at her with the towel rack, "I 
thought you  said Ranko was in here!" 
 	"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm Ukyou!"
 	"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.
 	"That's not the issue, here!"
 	"Ranko!  What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane  
turning  on her cousin, now certain Ranko had done 
something horrible,  after all... wasn't it her fault that Ranma 
turned into a girl?
 	"What  do  you mean what did I do?" asked  Ranko,  
genuinely hurt.
 	Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally 
managed to revive  enough to lift his head out of the water,  
"What did  you do that for?" he asked groggily, trying to look 
around. His  eyes finally focused on something nearby...
 	Akane felt relieved as she  noticed Ranma's head 
finally coming up, but he  still looked  a bit dazed. His head 
swiveled around until  finally  his eyes seemed to lock, almost 
by accident on Ukyou...
 	Ukyou  heard  Ranma revive and realized belatedly  
that  her little towel was only large enough to cover her front. 
And  Ranma was behind her.
 	Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma 
realized  what precisely he was looking at and quickly averted 
his gaze.  Akane, realizing  what  Ranma was looking at, 
brought  out  her  hammer. 
 	Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little 
drafty, dropped her  weapon,  covered  herself with her  hand  
and  quickly  spun around. Ranko started giggling.
 	"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her 
hammer up  to punish him.
 	"I  didn't see anything!! I didn't see  anything!! 
Honest!" Ranma pleaded as he was hammered into the wall 
beside the tub. His eyes firmly shut the whole time to make 
sure that he really didn't see anything.
 	"Stop  that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely  
certain  if she meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not 
even her.
 	Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again 
and  managed to croak out, "What have I done to deserve 
this?" before  passing out.
	"I  can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane  
muttered to herself.
 	Ranko  leaned against the frame of the door, "But,  
Akane... this  was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in  
the  bath when you knew that it was Ranma in there all 
along..."
 	Ukyou  turned  on Akane in a fury once more, "You  
mean  you were helping this lecher!?"
 	"No  I  am not helping him and no I didn't tell  
Ukyou  that Ranko was in the bathroom!"
 	"Yes  you did," Ranko continued, "You were still  
trying  to hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said 
pointing at the girl, who  frowned, "Er... she was trying to 
talk to you.  You  weren't paying attention."
 	"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm  going  to get dressed and we are all going to  
have  a long  discussion  about this downstairs," Ukyou said 
in  a  voice that would brook no argument, "Somebody put 
some clothes on him and drag him down, too... I want to talk 
to him." 
 	Ranko's  face  had  a crooked grin as  she  looked  
down  on Ranma's  unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... 
you've sure  got some way with women."
 	"`Saotome?'"  said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, 
not bothering with the chest bindings which would have 
taken too long,  "Why  did you just call him Saotome?"
 	Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."
 	"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma 
Tendo?" 
 	"Why would he be named Tendo?"
 	"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said 
Ukyou.
 	Akane  offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's 
just  a... er..."
 	"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.
 	"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.
	Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she 
turned her attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious 
Ranma.
 	"Oh,  yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He 
said  he wanted  to spend the rest of his life with you... It 
wasn't  what he said precisely, but that's what he meant. 
You're right... you two are more like betrothed than 
boyfriend-girlfriend," she added, smiling.
 	"That's  not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to  
answer, desperately embarrassed.
 	"He  wanted  you, hammer girl." said  Ranko  with  
finality, jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.
 	Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's 
throat, but at the  same  time  she rather liked the thought  of  
Ranma  wanting her... somehow. Blushing red, she walloped 
Ranko into the  floor, "Just shut up, Ranko! You're stuck to 
him too!"
 	As  Ranko  picked  herself up Ukyou,  who  had  
been  gazing intently  at  Ranma and utterly oblivious of 
Ranko and Akane's exchange, asked again, "You two are  
sure his name's Ranma Saotome?"
 	"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked 
simultaneously.
 	She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... 
I think he's a friend of mine from high school."
 	"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. 
They glared at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"
             Ranma,  who  had finally recovered enough to open  
his  eyes, blinked a  couple  of times  desperately trying to get 
his brain restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there 
was a girl peering very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, 
since that sort of thing had happened to him many times 
before, but it wasn't something he was comfortable with... 
The second thing he noticed was that her face was only a few 
inches away from his own... uncomfortably close... The third 
thing he noticed was that her eyes were very beautiful...
	He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to 
focus on her properly and backing off a little to see her better, 
when he finally realized who it was and said,  "Is  that  you, 
Ucchan?" Amazing what two blows to the head can do to jog 
your memory. She was a very good friend from high school... 
they'd been close, but drifted apart when they went off to 
college... last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying 
some guy she'd met in Kyoto...
             Ukyou  was startled but recovered quickly enough to 
hug  him and  say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been  
so  long! Stay as long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was 
feeling  like  a giddy teenager all over again, "Your friends 
can stay too if they want! It's so good to see you!!"
             "Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's  
great to  see  you  too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met 
last night? Your husband?"
             Ukyou's  smile faltered for the briefest of instants  
before it  was  back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You 
big silly, that was me!"
	"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why 
were you dressed as a guy?"
	"I don't really like to talk about  it,  Ran-chan," she 
said smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching 
up to do!"
             "Sure.  Sure.  We can talk there..." Ranma was still  a  
bit confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty... 
Ranko gave a small self contented smile as she watched 
Ukyou give Ranma another very enthusiastic hug... made all 
the worse by four facts: the fact that Ranma only had a towel 
draped over his midsection; the fact that Ukyou was wearing 
a half buttoned shirt and nothing else; the fact that Ranma 
didn't look at all unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and 
the fact that Akane was watching, with a scowl. If this didn't  
make that stupid tomboy want to break the contract, Ranko 
mused, she didn't know what would. 
             "What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling 
Ranma  away from Ukyou. 
             "Can  I at least get dressed first?" asked  Ranma  
realizing that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his 
modesty  with. Akane and Ukyou hastily backed out to let 
him get dressed, Ukyou pausing just long enough to pick up 
her boxer shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time and ogling 
him. 

	Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper 
a few moments later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the 
counter. It was still before opening time and Ukyou had 
already done most of the necessary clean up. She was at the 
grill cooking up a batch of her specialty okonomiyaki for their 
breakfast. 
	Ukyou smiled brightly at  Ranma as he walked 
towards them, "Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."
	Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone 
with Ranma... Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.
	Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko 
silently, This is great! I couldn't have planned it better 
myself!
	The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down 
faster, "Smells great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You 
haven't lost your touch, I see."
	Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks. 
I like what you did with your hair, by the way. The braid suits 
you better than that silly crewcut. I almost didn't recognize 
you."
	Smiling, Ranma absently tugged at his braid, 
"Thanks. But you know it was all Principal Kuno's fault why 
the guys had to have short hair."
	Ukyou laughed, "Yeah, he chased everyone around 
the campus with those barbers shears."
	Ranma laughed also, "It wasn't that funny! He was a 
fast old guy..."
	"Who's principal Kuno?" asked Ranko getting lost in 
the conversation of the two friends.
	"Our deranged principal from high school," Ukyou  
said dismissively, adding with a smile, "What a nut..."
	"His kids are studying at N.I.T." Ranma added 
conversationally.
	"No?" said Ukyou a little surprised, "Really? I'd've 
thought they would have stayed in Tokyo."
	"Um... So... You two really know each other?" asked 
Akane trying to break into the conversation.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high 
school."
	"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added 
with a giggle.
	"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to 
Akane. She favored him with a small smile which he 
returned. That did not pass Ukyou's notice... she raised an 
eyebrow but made no comment.
	"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou 
wistfully as she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you 
anyway?"
	Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have 
my own business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" 
she thought for a moment then added with a giggle, "Well, 
mine and the bank's!"
	Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so 
politely, around her own breakfast... Akane however was 
feeling rather uncomfortable at the easy friendship between 
Ukyou and Ranma.
	"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly 
puzzled.
	Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki 
onto a plate just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? 
Weren't you marrying that guy fro-"
	She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his 
mention of  her marriage. Her face suddenly turned 
unreadable and her voice was cold and dead as she said, "I 
didn't marry him."
	Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood 
was about to ask for details, but Akane noticed her 
discomfort. She put a hand on Ranma's arm and shook her 
head when she'd caught his attention. Ranma looked 
confused, but didn't press the issue.
	"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in 
the same dead voice.
	Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. 
Lots and lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...
	Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys 
still need a place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, 
I still need people to work here and I have some extra room. I 
was only planning on hiring two people, but considering how 
much business has been improving, I think three would work 
out pretty well, too. What do you guys say?"
	"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also 
brightening a little.
	"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets 
kinda lonely sometimes... it would be nice to have some 
company,." she added, smiling.
	"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said 
adding a wink in Akane's direction.
 	"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."
	Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said 
cattily, "You two were pretty close, huh?"
	"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.	
	Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, 
"Oh..."
	Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We 
were just friends that's all!"
	Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's 
reaction but she laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack 
of trying on our friends' parts to get us together though."
	Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You 
mean you two weren't an item?"
	"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in 
her voice.
	"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.
	"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied 
easily.
	Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, 
hammer girl? Worried we'll find out something unpleasant 
about your fiance?"
	"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.
	Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in 
Akane's voice... Ukyou was also mildly shocked.
	Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and 
just an inch away from pulling her hammer out to wallop 
Ranko into the floor. Then she looked at Ranma who was 
looking at Akane, somewhat worriedly. Then back to Akane...
	"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very 
surprised.
	"I am not!" 
	"No she isn't!"
 	Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.
	Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got a 
registered contract and everyithing! You're practically man 
and wife since Saotome here proposed!"
	"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" 
Ranma said.
	Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and 
said in heavy mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with 
you for the rest of your life and you claim that isn't a 
proposal?"
	"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't 
realize-"
	"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" 
crowed Ranko triumphantly.
	"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, 
pulling her hammer out.
	"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma 
said desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou 
off if either of you start tossing blasts of energy around, he 
added quietly.
	Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a 
slight sinking feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"
	As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this 
straight..." she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance, 
right?"
	Akane looked embarassed as she put her hammer 
away, "Um... in a manner of speaking... I suppose... 
actually... it's not quite the word I'd use..."
	Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be 
called 'girlfriend' instead. For now anyway. She'll probably 
want to be known as 'Mrs. Saotome' soon enough..."
	"Ranko, shut up!"
	"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why 
didn't you mention this sooner?"
	"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.
	Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at 
Ranko and then asked, "So what are you doing with your 
girlfriend's cousin then?"
	Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an 
incompetent..."
	Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, 
"I'm watching over them."
	"You're what?" asked Ukyou.
	"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in 
the first place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.
	"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered 
Ukyou. 
	Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."
	Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a 
situation for your self you don't do it half heartedly!"
	Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, 
"It's not like I asked for this..."
	"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.
	The argument and supposed clarification continued 
on for the better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou 
didn't really get an explanation... but Ranma and the two 
goddesses ended up with a place to live and jobs... for a while 
anyway...



PART III: Of Devoted Worshipers and Unexpected Jealousies

             It was the end of the semestral break. Now that the  
repairs to  the  school  buildings  were complete  (some  of  
which  were severely  damaged  when  the Chemistry Lab  
had  blown  up one evening under mysterious  circumstances, 
involving a flying woman and a student, but that's besides the 
point) classes would resume  this Monday. Ranma was not 
particularly looking forward to going  back to the academic 
grind, but he didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted  to  
keep  his athletic scholarship, he had  to  keep  his grades 
above a certain level as well. On the upshot, at least  he would 
be getting out of Ucchan's, even if only during the day. Much 
as Ranma didn't want to admit it to Ukyou, he was starting to 
get sick of okonomiyaki...
             Since he, Akane and Ranko had moved in, the place 
had become a  madhouse.  Akane shared Ukyou's guest room  
with  Ranko  while Ranma had gotten the back room of the 
restaurant. They helped out around  Ucchan's  whenever  
necessary and  Ukyou's  business  had actually improved 
because of the handsome new waiter (Ranma)  and cute new 
waitresses (Akane and Ranko).  
             Add  to  that Ranko picking on Akane and Ranma,  
Akane's  tendency  to violently  retaliate  with her hammer, 
Ukyou  and  Akane  getting mildly  jealous  over what each 
thought the other had  with Ranma (this  was especially  bad  
for Akane who was known to  cause  thunderstorms when  in  
an particularly foul mood), Ranko slinking  around  the 
restaurant, flirting with anything that moves, and every so 
often transforming  Ranma,  plus everyone occasionally  
walking  in  on Ranma in the bath and him getting beaten up 
for it... it all came down to a rather complicated domestic 
situation. And they'd  only been staying there for less than 
three weeks, and thus far, Ranma had been entirely able to 
avoid letting on about his 'problem' to Ukyou... despite 
Ranko's almost daily attempts to transform him... It was 
actually quite lucky that Ukyou got along well with all three, 
otherwise they might have found themselves homeless again.
             Ranma  hadn't given up on finding a place just for  
him  and the  goddesses. Despite Ukyou's good cheer and  
protestations  to the  contrary, Ranma could see that her 
patience with  the  other two was starting to wear thin. 
Ranma didn't want to impose on her too much.
             She  was still pretty much the same girl he'd  been  
friends with   back  in  Furinkan  High  School,  in Tokyo, 
except for a tendency to cross dress on a daily basis. 
Unfortunately, they'd lost touch with one another after they 
went to  college.  The last he'd heard Ukyou was going  to  
marry  her boyfriend,  some guy she'd met in Kyoto. She 
didn't want to  talk about it and Ranma certainly wasn't about 
to pry.
             Ranma  stepped out of the tub and shook out of  his  
reverie just  in time to hear someone trying to open the door.  
For  some strange  reason,  the locks on the doors of the  bath  
tended  to open by  themselves  whenever Ranma  inside. 
They suspected Ranko, but there was never any evidence for 
it. He  called  out, "Nearly done! Please, wait outside!"
             "Oh. Sorry, Ranma!" called back a voice which he  
recognized as Akane's. Ranma had learned to be more alert 
since he'd started living  with the goddesses. Between Akane's 
temper and Ranko's harassment, every day was a new  
opportunity  for training.
             Ranma  stepped  out of the bathroom, fully dressed  
and  saw Akane sitting on the landing. He called, "Hi, Akane. 
Your turn."
             She  stood  up,  smiling, "Thank you,  Ranma.  Do  
you  have classes today?"
             Ranma nodded, "Only until one. Then I'll be out 
looking  for another apartment-"
             From upstairs, Ukyou stepped out of her apartment 
and walked to  the  bath. "Ranchan, how many times do  I 
have to  tell  you that you're always welcome to stay for as 
long as you like!  That goes for your girlfriend as well," 
Ukyou said smiling at Akane.
             Akane  blushed mildly at that. She was starting to get  
used to  being called that... but somehow it still didn't  quite  
feel right when Ukyou said it for some reason. Well... it was 
easier for her to be called that than his fiance...
             Ranma neither confirmed nor denied their status, but 
he  did put a discreet hand on her shoulder as he said, "But 
not for  her cousin, huh?"
             "I  heard  that,  Saotome!!" came a sleepy  voice  
from  the apartment, "You'll pay!"
             Ukyou noted the gesture with amusement. Ranma 
always  stayed close to Akane. Especially when it seemed 
likely that Ranko would get mad  at him  for some reason. 
But besides that, Ranma tended to be  close to Akane 
whenever possible. Every so often he would put a hand on her  
shoulder or brush against her.  As far as Ukyou knew, Ranma 
never was one for intimacy... his father (an old imbecile in 
her opinion) raised Ranma up to be a rugged, macho, he-
man... complete with all the appropriate problems at open 
displays of affection. But when he was with Akane, Ukyou 
noticed, with just a little jealousy... he always had time to 
be.... well... close to her. 
             Akane  knew why. She threw Ranma a sour look of  
amusement. He  was  mostly worried that Ranko would try to 
turn him  into  a woman. Again. Just like Ranko tried almost 
every single day since they moved in. Akane knew that 
Ranma occasionally fell  into depressions  just  thinking  
about what  would  happen  if  Ranko transformed  him and 
Akane weren't there. He would never  become  a man  again...  
Truth to tell, the longest he'd had to spend as a woman so far 
was under an hour., but the possibility of it becoming 
permanent was rather unsettling for him.
	Aside  from  that,  it  was  tough  enough   being 
transformed into another gender by a woman's touch, but 
trying to keep  it secret from someone who used to be your 
best friend  who was living under the same roof at the same 
time...
             "Whatever,"  said Ranma with a shrug,  "I'm going  
apartment hunting anyway, Ucchan. I don't want to impose 
on you so much."
             "That's my Ranchan alright," Ukyou said with a 
smile. Akane felt  a  stab  of jealousy. Ukyou's pet name  for  
Ranma always grated on her. It was  an indication of the 
history they'd shared. Something, Akane  didn't have...
             Ukyou noticed Akane starting to space out and asked, 
"Akane, mind if I join you?"
             Akane was jolted out of her musings but nodded, 
"Sure."
             Ranma  said, "Okay, I'll just clean up down  stairs...  
I've got  to  get out of here by eight or I'll never get  to  class  
in time."
             After  Ukyou  had entered Akane turned to  Ranma  
and  said, "Ranma... would you let me come with you?"
             "Hmm..?" said Ranma as he turned to Akane, 
"Why?"
             "I don't know... I just want to see what you actually 
do  in school... Besides, the last time I left Ucchan's was days 
ago."
             "Well...  I  don't see why not. You aren't working  a  
shift today, anyway, right?"
             "No, she's not!" called out Ukyou from the bath.
             "Okay, then. I'll wait for you," he said smiling.
             "And  no peeking, Ranma!" Akane added from 
behind the  door. It  was  a joke. In the short time that she'd  
known  him,  she'd learned  quite  a  bit about him. Ranma 
was  actually  quite  shy around women except around those 
he was comfortable with or  with women who so infuriated 
him that he didn't think clearly anymore. Ukyou was the 
former, Ranko was the latter, and Akane could  slip into 
either category depending on her temper at the time.
             Akane  stripped down and entered the bath with  
Ukyou.  They weren't  quite  close,  but they were already  on  
their  way  to becoming  good friends. The fact that Ranma 
liked the  other  was already a good indicator in the other 
one's eyes.
             They  had small talk as they bathed, about how the  
business was  doing,  what the weather was like and whether 
or  not  Akane could borrow some of Ukyou's clothes for the 
day... She didn't have anything truly feminine, but Akane 
didn't mind.
             "He really likes you." said Ukyou suddenly.
             "Huh?  Um...  what  do  you  mean?"  asked  Akane   
feigning ignorance.
             "C'mon...  neither of you say much about it, but I  can  
see it. He always wants to be near you... he always apologizes  
after he's rude to you (he doesn't even do that to me)... he 
hides like crazy when his groupies come calling... He's trying 
his best to  keep you happy."
             Akane furrowed as she considered Ranma's actions. 
She didn't like  admitting  her thoughts out loud. She worried 
if  that  was really why he stayed close to her, "No, he just has 
to keep me  happy because of Ranko."
             "Ranko?  Why?" asked Ukyou, "What does she have 
to  do  with anything?"
             "You see, Ranma needs me to--" she stopped herself  
suddenly as she realized that Ranma had sworn her to secrecy 
regarding his transformations, "Er... ah, that is..."
             "Now that you mentioned it... You guys never did tell 
me why Ranko  was with you. One time, Ranko told me that 
you and Ranchan had  run off  together  because  he couldn't 
live without  you,  but  that doesn't explain her and--"
             "That's  a lie!" Akane interrupted suddenly, "Um... I  
mean, let's  just say I had my Father's blessing... but Ranko 
was  part of the deal..."
             "Complicated situation, huh?"
             "You don't know the half of it, Ukyou."
             Ukyou smiled, "Regardless... I know you're good for 
my  Ranchan. Take good care of him Akane," Ukyou added 
hugging her.
             "Thanks," said Akane, genuinely touched.
             "What a lovely scene. I think I may weep openly," 
said Ranko with overblown drama, from the door. Complete 
with dabbing at the corners  of  her  eyes with a hanky,  she  
continued,  "Is  there something Ranma should know Akane? 
Maybe, Ukyou is more masculine than she cares to admit..."
             Akane  shot her a dangerous look, "What are you 
doing  here, harridan?"
             "I wanted a bath too, tomboy."
             "So  take  a  bath already! I  was  just  leaving!"  
without another word, Akane grabbed her clothes and towel 
and stormed off to change.
             As  Ranko slipped into the water, Ukyou who had 
watched  the exchange, asked, "Why are you so mean to her?"
             Ranko frowned at Ukyou and answered sharply, "It's 
her fault I'm  stuck here. Her and Saotome's. And if she 
weren't too busy making googly eyes at him, we'd probably 
have left already."
             "All three of you?" Ukyou said, with a touch of 
sorrow.
             "No. Just me and her..."
             Ukyou  felt  an  spark of hope... Akane  might  still  
leave Ranma.  She quickly squelched that thought, though. 
But  she  was still curious.
             "What precisely do you have to do?"
             Ranko  felt Ukyou's emotions as well, she was after 
all  the goddess  of affection, but she'd never been paying  
attention  to Ukyou before. The cross dresser of all people. 
The only woman Ranko had met so far who was even more 
masculine than her tomboy cousin! Ukyou was in  love with  
Ranma...  It  was a desperate kind of love  people  on  the 
rebound usually display. But powerful... She was too in love 
with him to try anything, though, because he already looked 
happy with Akane... Ranko's mouth quirked. She could 
certainly fix that... just a dab of the right spell...
             "Nothing  important," said Ranko dismissively, "By 
the  way, where is Akane going in such a hurry?"

             Ranma's van had certainly seen better days. It was 
old,  but reliable.  It  took about an half an hour to get to  the  
campus, because  of  the traffic, but they made it with  time  
to  spare. Which  was good. Because a large crowd of women 
was  waiting  for the van at the parking lot.
             "Okay,  Akane.  Here we are," said Ranma as  he  
opened  his door.  Akane  got  out  ahead  of  him  and  
noticed  the   crowd approaching.  Loud  babbling erupted 
from the throng as  soon  as they saw Akane.
             "Is it usually so crowded?" she asked, worried.
             "No..."  said  Ranma cautiously. He stayed in  the  
van  and peered  out  cautiously. He recognized some of the 
faces  in  the crowd. It was his fan club. He should have 
expected this. 
             "Oh  boy," he said as he surveyed the mob which was  
rapidly closing  in.  They did not look happy at all.  "They're  
all  out there."
             Akane walked over to Ranma's side and looked at 
him  through the vehicle's doorway, "Well? What do we do 
about them?"
             "We  can  try  to make a break for it  I  guess--"  he  
said dubiously.
             "Hey, Saotome!" came a voice from dashboard. 
Ranma and Akane looked  down and saw mini-Ranko 
balancing on his steering  wheel, "Ever wondered what it 
would be like to go to school as a girl?"
             "Wha--" Ranma blurted out, as Ranko jumped from 
the steering wheel and onto his head. She promptly 
disappeared again in a puff of  smoke.  Ranma realized 
belatedly that Ranko  had  gotten  him again.
             "Aw  jeez!  Why did she have to do that now!?"  
Ranma  said, surveying her body.
             "Nobody's  close  enough to see you yet, here,"  
Akane  said offering her hand.
             "Thanks," Ranma said, taking her hand as he exited 
the  van. He was back to normal before anyone else could 
notice. There  was a  collective  gasp as the mob saw Ranma 
exiting his  van,  being helped out by some girl.
             The  horde  rushed  in  immediately,  preventing  
escape.  A confused babble of sounds assaulted the two as 
everyone tried  to ask questions simultaneously.
             Snatches  of coherent words could be heard  though,  
"Ranma-sama, say it isn't so!", "Is it true?", "You can't do this 
to me, Ranma, I've been saving myself for you!", "Ranma! 
Why her?!"
             Akane  growled low in the back of her throat. This  
was  too much.  She'd  had enough. From the cloudless sky,  a  
thunderclap roared  through the parking lot, its sound 
blasting the crowd  of women to silence.
             "That's enough!" said Akane, "One at a time!"
             One  of  the girls, a redhead with a waist  length 
braid, in a red dress, pressed closer immediately and said, 
"We heard from  Ryoga-sempai and Mousse-sempai that you 
got kicked out of the dorm because you were caught sneaking 
women in there."
             Ranma had somehow managed to get behind Akane 
and seemed  to be using her as a shield, "I didn't sneak them 
in!" he said.
             "It's  true  then! There were women there?" asked  
the  same girl.
             "I didn't say that!!" said Ranma desperately.
             "We  also  heard that you were living with  three  
beautiful women now!" complained a girl in a blue dress 
which suited her long, straight, blue hair.
             "Where'd  you hear that?" asked Ranma, who had 
been more  or less  hiding from everyone since he was kicked 
out.  Nobody  knew where he was staying.
             "A  redhead  woman with a braid..."  shyly  replied  a  
brunette wearing glasses and a green dress. The other women  
quickly  nodded  in agreement.
             Akane muttered under her breath, "Ranko."
             "Yes, that was her name, I think." interjected a  
woman with long  ginger locks tied into a ponytail that 
reached the back  of her  knees, "The same girl told me that 
you told this other  girl you wanted her to stay with you for 
the rest of your life!" There were more nods and murmurs of 
agreement.
             Akane's reserves of patience, not too long to begin 
with had given out, "What business is it of yours anyway!?"
             The crowd broke into general babbling again as 
various cries to  the  effect of "Is it her?", "Is she the one your  
heart  has chosen?",  "Why not me?!" and various 
permutations  thereof  were echoed.
             Ranma  was  still in shock. His fans never used to  be  
this aggressive or self-assertive.
             Another thunderclap blasted them back to silence. 
Akane  was really  angry now. She took Ranma by the arm 
and said, "I'm  only saying  this  once!  I am Akane Tendo 
and  Ranma  is  my..."  she hesitated,  but  anger overruled 
any  embarrassment,  "Boyfriend!" 
 	"Anybody who has a problem with that, deals with 
me!" She  put her other hand to her hammer, which she still  
wore all  the time,  as though just asking for an excuse to use 
it.  A few of the women stepped back. A number of them 
shrugged.  They'd been  claiming that Ranma was their 
boyfriend for months now,  so who was this newcomer?
             "Why  not  let Ranma answer us, then?"  asked  a  
reasonable sounding woman in a black dress.
             All  eyes  turned to Ranma. Not just the mob,  but  
quite  a number of people who were merely passing by. He 
was suddenly  the center of attention. "Um..." he began.
             "Well?"  asked Akane glaring at him. She'd put her 
pride  on the line here. If he backed down, she intended to 
wallop him  six feet into the concrete.
             "She's... uh... not exactly... that is to say..."
             "She isn't your girlfriend?" asked everyone 
simultaneously.
             Akane's  face flushed red with rage and  
embarrassment.  Her grip tightened on her hammer. That 
stupid idiot..!
             "...  I  think...  um...  maybe... fiance  might  actually  
be   more accurate," finished Ranma quickly, now also 
blushing.
             Everyone was shocked into silence. The quiet was  
eventually broken  by  a few broken sobs as most of the 
women  drifted  off. Most  crying,  a rare few, their faces 
bitter.  Ranma  and  Akane watched them leave and heaved a 
sigh of relief. Only the woman in the black dress took the 
news impassively. She had a faint  smile on her face as idly 
played with a single black rose.
             "What?" asked Akane, not ready to put down her 
hammer.
             "I  just wanted to congratulate the lucky woman who  
managed to  land the infamous Ranma Saotome." said the girl 
in the  black dress, pleasantly, "Akane Tendo, wasn't it?"
             "Yes." Akane said bowing slightly.
             "Pleased  to meet you, I am Kodachi Kuno.  
Sometimes  called the  Black  Rose," she turned to Ranma, 
"I'm going  to  miss  the antics of those women trying to 
attract your attention, Ranma. It was..." she paused slightly, 
"Quite amusing. I hope you two  have a lovely life together," 
she gave Ranma a quick peck on the cheek before anyone 
could react, "Good bye."
             She slipped away before either could say another 
word.
             "Who was that?" asked Akane, confused by 
Kodachi's speech.
             "She's  the Captain of the Female Division Combat  
Athletics Team,"  said Ranma nervously, "She's usually  
rather  volatile... I've   never   seen  her  that  calm  before,"   
Ranma   shivered involuntarily at the memory.
             Akane turned to Ranma and asked tentatively, "Did 
you really mean that? I mean about us being engaged? Was 
that a formal proposal?"
             Ranma,  still  a  bit of a nervous wreck, "NO!"  then  
in  a calmer voice, "No. Of course not. I had to tell them 
something to make  them  go  away. Just telling them you  
were  my  girlfriend wouldn't have been enough. Besides... 
that's what's on our contract, right?"
             "Hmph," said Akane, hurt, "Oh. Well, in that case 
I'm glad I was of some help then," her words were laced with 
sarcasm.
             "Akane, I didn't mean that like it sounded..."
             "What do you think it sounded like, huh?" Akane 
sniffed at him.
             "Like I didn't like you... because its... um... You 
know. Sort of... like... um... "
             Akane's  expression softened a little. He was so  cute  
when she  had him flustered. She gave him a little tap on the 
back  of the head with her smaller hammer.
             "Come on, you pervert... you're going to be late for 
class," she said with a smile.
             He smiled back as they went into the building.
             From  inside  the van, mini-Ranko watched them.  
Maybe  they thought they'd gotten away, she mused, not a 
chance of that.  The Black  Rose  woman  had quite a bit of  
useful  jealousy  in  her heart...

             As  Ranma walked the hallway with Akane, a few  
more  people and  some friends came up to him asking for 
confirmation  of  the rumors.  Mostly he just nodded and 
smiled and introduced them  to Akane. Some reactions were a 
little different though. The  school lecher  clung to Ranma 
desperately and begged him to say that  it wasn't  so, that his 
idol hadn't fallen, and so forth.  Every  so often he  made an 
attempt to fondle Akane, which earned him quite a  few  
bumps and no satisfaction at all. It took  a  while,  but Ranma  
and  Akane eventually managed to get rid of him  when  his  
green  haired girlfriend flew by and dragged him off,  
delivering electric shocks to him every few steps.
             "Darling, you're making a spectacle of yourself 
again!"  she told  him as she pulled the battered lecher along 
the  corridors. His yelps of pain fading in the distance.
             "There sure are a large number of weirdoes in this 
school."
             "That's the funny part, Akane. I don't remember 
them  acting so... extreme before the sem break."
             "Are you saying? That it's my fault?" Akane asked, 
offended.
             "Well... not necessarily yours, Akane-chan."
             "Yes,"  she conceded, "If that incident back in the  
parking lot is any indication at all, Ranko is really looking to 
stir  up some trouble. We'd better be alert."
             "Nihao, Saotome-sempai," called out a voice behind 
them with a bad Chinese accent. Ranma and Akane turned to 
see a timid young girl  in  a conservative dress. She wore 
glasses and  her  purple hair  was  done up in a severe braid. 
She said in  a  sympathetic voice, "Shampoo heard news from 
Mousse-sempai. So sorry you  kick out of dorm."
             "It's  okay, Shampoo. I'm doing alright. This is  
Akane,  by the  way. Akane, this is Shampoo she's an 
exchange  student  from China and one of my friends..."
             The girls exchanged bows. Shampoo peered at Akane 
for a  few moments then said excitedly, "Oh! Shampoo, 
remember now! You  the one  they talking about in parking 
lot. They talk about  marks on face and big hammer! Ranma 
fiance! Yes? Yes?" she punctuated  her sentence with nods.
             Akane smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded too. 
Ranma  looked around  rather  embarrassed as people who 
hadn't heard  about  it picked up the rumor and spread it 
along.
             "Shampoo have to go now, Sempai, Akane. Shampoo 
have to meet Mousse-sempai.  He tutoring Shampoo to speak 
language  betterer!" she seemed to get particularly giggly and 
excited at the thought. She happily waved goodbye as she 
dashed off.
             "Lively, isn't she?" Akane asked as Shampoo left.
             "You could say that," Ranma conceded with 
amusement.
             "Why is she named after a hair care product?" asked 
Akane.
             "Well, it's customary in their village or something. I 
don't think it means the same thing in Chinese. It's the way 
you pronounce it... I think they say it Xian Pu or something 
like that. Mousse is from the same village. Joketsu-something 
or the other..."
             As the pair neared the door to the class room, they 
were met by  a  man  in an elegantly tailored  three  piece  
suit.  He  had  a shock of short curled  black  hair  and  was 
wearing  a pair of expensive horn rimmed glasses.  He  
approached them and said, "Truly, it is said that even the 
most wretched  of dogs has his day, Saotome."
             Ranma pulled a sour face as he saw who it was, 
"Hey, Kuno."
             "Is  this then the fair lady who has ventured  to  
transform the  most lecherous  Ranma  Saotome, into a  
model  of  virtue?"  Kuno continued,  facing  Akane, "You 
make a noble  sacrifice  for  the members of the fairer sex, 
dear lady. For it will be through your efforts do you rid them 
of their unhealthy fascination with him." 
             Akane's  face betrayed confusion as Kuno proceeded 
with  his speech,  lambasting  Ranma  and proclaiming  
Akane's  virtue  and nobility  and that she should have 
courage and  perseverance  for the arduous task of keeping 
Ranma in line. 
             "Kuno,  I've  got  a class to get to. Is there  a  point  
to this?" Ranma interrupted, unable to stand any more.
             "Verily, Saotome, you are the most ill-mannered of 
curs. You wish  my  purpose then for stopping you in these 
halls,  I  shall give  it to you.  I merely wished for a chance to 
meet the  saint who  has managed to capture the most 
notorious playboy in  Nekomi City and to congratulate you 
both."
             "Um... Thank you," said Akane not sure what else to 
say.
             Ranma  smiled as well. Kuno could be an overblown 
jerk  most of time and he was another of Ranma's major rivals 
because of Kuno's Combat Athletics Club which frequently 
entered into rivalry with the Martial Arts Varsity,  but he had 
a  decent  streak  underneath, "Thanks, Kuno."
             "I shall be on my way, then. Fare thee well," he said 
with a curt nod as he strode away.
             "Who was that?" asked Akane as they entered the 
class room.
             "Tatewaki  Kuno, Kodachi's brother. We generally 
don't  like each  other much. Mostly because I'm a better 
fighter than he  is and a lot of the time, he ends up trying to 
ask out women who are after  me-"
	"Well, aren't we Mr. Modesty..." Akane smirked.
	Ranma continued smiling a little, "It's true... 
anyway, he probably figures now that I have you, they'll  give 
up on me and go after him..."
             "Which  is  what had better happen,"  said  Akane  
severely. Ranma  merely  gave her a look of mild surprise, 
"Seemed  like  a nice enough person," she added.
             "Yeah, you have to admit he is," conceded Ranma, 
"At  times. A bit arrogant though. And a little stubborn. And 
stupid. And--"
	"I think you've made your point, Ranma..." said 
Akane sourly.
             They sat down near the front. In short order the 
teacher,  a burly man in his forties, arrived and immediately 
noticed  Akane, "Excuse me, miss. Are you in this class?"
             "She's auditing it, Onsen-sensei," responded Ranma 
quickly.
             "I asked her, not you, Saotome." said the teacher  
gruffly, "If you're not registered for this class, please step out. 
No sit ins."
             "Oh great," muttered Ranma to himself.
             "Now, please," said the teacher impatiently.
             "Um...  I'll go wait in the van then. I don't want to  
cause any more trouble for you."
             "No,  I  have a better idea. The cafeteria's just  down  
the hall  and around the corner. Why don't you get something 
to  eat, you skipped breakfast again... I'll catch up with you in 
about an hour or two, okay?"
             "Saotome. Miss. We don't have all day, " the teacher 
remarked in a bored voice.
             "Sorry,  sensei,"  Ranma replied, then turned to  
Akane  and said, "Be careful and try not to attract too much 
attention," 
             As  Akane walked out of the classroom she gave 
Ranma a  last backwards  glance  and a smile. Ranma smiled 
back and  waved  her out.  This  of course sparked an entirely 
new set of  rumors  and stories  spreading as the teacher 
began the lesson. Unnoticed  by everyone, Ranko, in her 
superdeformed mode trailed after Akane.

             Akane found the cafeteria with no problems. She had 
a little pocket  money, mostly tips from Ucchan's, which she 
used  to  get herself some food. She was so upset with Ranko 
this morning  that she  had  entirely  forgotten to eat. She 
chose a  table  in  the corner  and tried to make herself as 
inconspicuous  as  possible. Little chance of that. The story 
about her and Ranma was  already so   widespread  that  
practically  everyone  knew  her  by   the description. Not that 
she could hide her facial markings, nor was a five foot long 
mallet all that easy to hide either.
             Without  her  realizing it, several dozen  men  had  
already moved  into the closest tables and had begun to subtly  
look  her over.  They  liked what they saw. In fact, they loved  
what  they saw.  In a matter of minutes, practically every man 
who had  seen her  (and  a  few women as well) were firmly  
in  love  with  the goddess of conflicts, Akane Tendo. Most 
were almost ready to work up  the courage to ask her out, but 
for the fear that they  would get  their  heads kicked in if 
Saotome found out.   Underneath  a table, mini-Ranko was 
waving around a smoking little bottle and chanting under her 
breath. She had worked out a spell which was meant to make 
Akane absolutely irresistible... And she was doing a good job 
of it too...
             Within  half  an hour of Akane seating herself  there,  
four long  standing  relationships  had broken up,  one  
proposal  for marriage  was shelved, a dozen men got slapped 
for letting  their attention  wander, and at least one man was 
electrocuted  by  his rather volatile alien fiance. 
             Ryoga,  who'd  been up until now  peacefully  
devouring  his lunch,  finally looked in Akane's direction. He 
knew  she  looked familiar  from  somewhere... Then he 
remembered  the  night  they kicked  Saotome out. He nodded 
idly to himself, that yes  it  was her... when the spell finally 
caught up with him as well...
             Now there's something that has to be understood 
about Ryoga. He didn't see the world the same way other 
people did. Since  his fiance left him a few years ago, his 
perceptions were  constantly filtered through lenses of 
depression, anger or love sickness. It was part of the reason 
why he kept getting lost. He was so gloomy or seething that 
he would consistently misunderstand the simplest directions 
people gave to him. There were times when he would 
suddenly change directions, ignore road  signs  and the  most  
obvious landmarks because of  a scene he was replaying in his 
head. Something about Ranko's  spell  had affected  Ryoga... 
The tugging at his heart strings by the  spell urged  him up. 
Sped him forward. He walked like a man in a  daze. He was 
heading towards love... that was all he knew.
             Ryoga  walked  directly  towards Akane's table.  He  
made  a straight line, every so often, kicking a table out of the 
way  or absently picking up students and tossing them over 
his  shoulder. His   eyes  focused  firmly  forward.  Ranko  
could   see   Ryoga approaching  Akane with a glazed adoring 
expression on  his  face and chuckled to herself, "This is so 
perfect...". 
             Ryoga  proceeded  towards Akane's table. As he  
reached  the opposite  side  of  the table, Akane looked up  
and  noticed  him approaching.  She  recognized him 
immediately as one  of  Ranma's friends.  She was about to 
say something in greeting  when  Ryoga suddenly  made  a 
ninety degree turn and stomped off...  He  went through the 
door, tearing it from its hinges and disappeared from sight.
             Mini-Ranko,  Akane,  and just about everyone  else  
wondered what that was all about. Akane didn't have much 
time to mull over it as she saw a small group of women 
approaching her. "They  look familiar  for some reason..." 
mused Akane, "They were members  of that mob!" Akane put 
one hand to her hammer just in case...

             Ranma walked into the cafeteria and noted idly that  
someone had torn the doors from their hinges again. Probably 
Ryoga losing his  temper  again,  he mused. The men who  
had  taken  positions around  Akane's  table quietly but 
quickly drifted  away,  before Ranma  had  a  chance to notice 
them.  He  found  Akane  chatting animatedly,  thick as 
thieves, with some girls who he knew to  be from his fan club. 
He approached cautiously.
             They all noticed him more or less simultaneously. 
Except for one, who still had her nose in a book. Akane 
smiled up at him  as the other girls simultaneously said, "Hi, 
Ranma."
             The  girls all looked Ranma over with eager looks  
on  their faces. One of the girls asked Akane, "Really? In the 
bathroom?"
             Akane  smirked then nodded. The girls all blushed 
and  there was even more awe in their faces than they 
normally displayed as they  looked at Ranma.
             "We'd better get going, Akane,  we've got classes." 
said the girl  with the book who stood up, blushing as she 
gave Ranma a quick glance. The other  girls  also quickly 
made their excuses and left before Ranma had a chance  to 
say anything.
             "Bye, guys," said Akane waving.
             Ranma sat opposite Akane and asked, smiling, "You 
seem to be getting along with... er... them."
             Akane nodded, "They're really very nice once you get 
to know them. They seemed a lot more reasonable just now, 
actually."
             Ranma  nodded, then said suddenly, "So, what were  
you  guys talking about?"
             "Nothing  much. Girl stuff. You wouldn't 
understand,"  Akane said mysteriously.
             "Hah.  If  Ranko were here, that wouldn't be a  
problem  now would it?"
             "Maybe not. Why do you ask though?"
             "Well... I was having a sneezing fit back in class..."
             "You  thought  we were talking about you? Please,  
how  self centered can you get!" Akane did her best to cover 
up her  blush. 
             What  was even more embarrassing was the fact that 
they had  been talking about him.
             "I  didn't  say that, I was just asking  politely,  
okay?!" replied Ranma sharply.
             "No it is not okay! Keep your nose out of my 
business!!"
             "Fine then! Be that way! I don't know why I bother 
with  you anyway!" he said standing up.
             "Fine!!" Akane said as she walloped him into the 
floor.  She realized  belatedly  that people were staring.  The  
rumor  mills cranked up again this time regarding the `one 
day fiance'.
             "Ow... what did you do that for?" groaned Ranma as 
he  stood up, slowly.
             Akane just looked at the ground, looking remorseful.
             "Akane, what's wrong... I'm sorry I blew up..."
             Akane looked into his eyes and said, "I'm sorry too. I  
lost my  temper.  Actually  we were talking about you...  I  
was  just embarrassed..."
             "Aw,  come on Akane, you don't have to be 
embarrassed  about that sort of thing with me..."
             Akane  merely smiled at him, "If your classes are  
over,  we may as well get going, then..."
             "Sure  thing," Ranma smiled back, as they  started  
walking, "By the way... what did they say about me?"
             "That's  for  me to know, Ranma..."  Akane  added  
wickedly, "Besides I told them a few things they didn't know 
about you..."
             "Like what?" asked Ranma worried.
             "Like where your birthmark is..."
             "You didn't! Which one..?"
             "All of them..."
             Their voices faded out of the cafeteria as they stepped 
into the  hall.  In  the  hours to come,  more  stories  and  
theories regarding  the two were passed around, and a few of 
the  students decided to organize amongst themselves an 
Akane Tendo Fan Club...

             Mini-Ranko  had been listening to the entire  
exchange  from her perch on a chair's backrest. The groupies 
had spoken at length  of Ranma's looks, his honor, his 
kindness, his cute tush...
             She  had  to admit... Ranma wasn't all that bad  
looking  or that bad a person if she took the time to think 
about it. But one way  or another, she was going to get back 
home.  She  considered talking to him about it, but quickly 
discarded that. Nice guy  or not, she knew he wouldn't let go 
of Akane that easily...
             Ranko's  thoughts  were  suddenly interrupted  by  a  
small, sugary sweet voice saying "Oh! How cute! Martinique! 
Martinique!" The five inch tall Ranko suddenly felt herself 
grabbed and hugged almost to asphyxiation by Azusa 
Shiratori. Azusa was actually  in her  early twenties, but her 
mental and physical development  had been  arrested 
somewhere around the age of twelve. This left  her with  an  
inclination  towards being  disgustingly  cute  and  an 
overwhelming urge to grab anything she considered cute 
which came within  grasping  range, take it home and give it 
a disgustingly cute  French name,  not necessarily in that 
order. Added to all of  the  extra affection  Ranko  had  been  
pumping  into  the air ,  this resulted in a seriously and 
uniquely unstable personality.
             "OH, Martinique!" said the girl, cuddling Ranko's  
doll-like form.  The superdeformed Ranko, now being called 
Martinique,  was hugged  to  unconsciousness and carried off 
by Azusa  who  hummed a cute  little  song (which she had 
named Robispiere, the week previous) under her breath as she 
skipped  to  her  next class. Before she lost consciousness, 
Ranko noted to herself that she might have overdone the 
affection spell just a little...

             Kodachi  watched Akane and Ranma leave with a 
cold gleam  in her  eye. So the little lovers weren't getting 
along  so  well... That  little  tramp. She knew perfectly well, 
what Akane  was  up to... Even now she could see it in the 
eyes of the men all around her...  they  didn't  want the Black  
Rose  anymore  they  wanted that... that... that hammer 
wielding hussy! The red headed  woman had  said  so...  The  
Black Rose was the queen  of  NIT  and  no newcomer was 
going to take that away from her... Kodachi  would  make  
Akane Tendo pay.  Pay  most  dearly... Unable to stop the 
mirth which bubbled up from the depths of  her  soul,  she  let  
loose with a chillingly maniacal  laugh  as  she strode  out  of  
the cafeteria, oblivious  to  the  stares  which followed her. 
She had so much to plan...

             Ranko finally managed to get away from Azusa. It 
took her an hour  and  it required her to hide in one of the 
lady's room's cubicles,  but  she'd finally  managed  to get 
away. She was worn out from all  of  her power  use,  but she 
knew it was well worth it.  She  transformed herself  back  to 
her normal form and leaned  against  the  white tiled wall for 
a while, just as a cute girl with long straight pink hair came 
into the comfort room. The girl glanced at her strangely for a 
moment, but shrugged and calmly walked to the stand up 
urinals. Ranko was just about to leave when the door opened  
and someone else entered. It took a moment for her to figure 
out that she had been hiding in the wrong comfort room the 
whole time... this was the MEN's room...



PART IV: Of Warm Hearts and Cold Shoulders.

             "So,  Ranchan,  any luck?" asked Ukyou as  Ranma  
and  Akane entered  Ucchan's.  It was eight in the evening  
and  the dinner crowd was barely starting to thin out.
             "Nope. Still nothing." muttered Ranma as he and 
Akane put on their  aprons, "Everybody either wants too 
much or the  rooms are too small for one person, much less 
three..."
             Ukyou smiled faintly, "Oh, well..."
             "We're checking out another place tomorrow, 
though," said Akane brightly.
             Ukyou merely nodded absently.
             When  they  finally had a quiet moment, an hour  or 
so later,  the three settled down behind the counter.
             "Where's Ranko?" asked Akane. She needed to have 
a long talk with her cousin... communication done by way of 
hammer...
             Ukyou frowned, "Wasn't she with you? She called 
and told  me something about not being able to make her 
shift," she shrugged, "I don't  pretend to understand Ranko, 
Akane."
             "Me neither," replied Akane, as she stood up to clean 
up one of the tables. 
             A ragged voice from the door suddenly asked, 
"Where am I?"
             Standing  in  the open doorway was the  bedraggled  
form  of Ryoga. He'd been walking since early afternoon and 
the last place he  clearly remembered had a lot of snow and 
penguins...  but  he knew  he was supposed to find... glove? 
dove? Something...  when  he got there...
             "Ranma, isn't that your friend from school?" asked 
Akane.
             "Hey, Ryoga... what are you doing here?" asked 
Ranma  before he realized that Ryoga didn't have any idea 
either.
             A look of astonishment crept over Ukyou's features,  
"R-r-r-Ryoga..?"
             "Who? Wha--?" Ryoga looked up and saw Ukyou's 
face. He had a blank  expression on his face as no recognition 
dawned.  Then  he looked at Ranma and asked, "Ranma, 
what are you doing here?"
             "I work here you idiot! You got lost again, huh?"
             "Who says I get lost--?" said Ryoga.
             Ukyou suddenly pulled out a gigantic spatula the size 
of snowshovel from the  broom closet and rushed towards 
Ryoga, with murder in her eyes.
             Ryoga  managed  to get out of the way as  Ranma  
caught  the spatula on the down swing and embedded it into 
the floor.
             "Ucchan, what are you doing?!" asked Ranma.
             "I'm going to kill that jackass!!" she said shooting 
Ryoga a venomous look.
             "Excuse me, do we know each other?" asked Ryoga 
bewildered.
             Ukyou let go of the spatula's handle and grabbed  
Ryoga by the shirt front, screaming sarcastically in his face,  
"Do  we  know  each other?! DO WE KNOW EACH 
OTHER!?!"
             "I asked you first," said Ryoga peevishly.
             "We were engaged for two years before you left me at 
the altar, you jackass!!" said Ukyou enraged.
             A look of shock passed over Ryoga's eyes as he said, 
"Ukyou? But you're a guy, Ukyou's not a--"
             "You  bet  your ass, I'm Ukyou, sugar..." she  said  
ripping open the top few buttons of her shirt, showing Ryouga 
a bit of cleavage. Ryouga's eyes focused there for a few 
seconds before he finally managed to bring his gaze back up 
to her face. Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes... 
and blood was threatening to come out his nose...
             "Now you're going to pay!" Ukyou screamed as she 
tore the spatula free from the floor.
             "Ukyou! It is you! I've been looking for you for 
years!" Ryoga said suddenly hugging her and crushing her to 
him. As Ryoga sobbed  into  Ukyou's shoulder, you could 
almost  hear  her  ribs cracking under the strain. Unable to 
breathe, Ukyou released her hold on the giant spatula out of 
surprise which Ranma promptly kicked a discreet distance 
away.
             "Excuse me, er... Ryoga, right?" said Akane.
             Ryoga looked up from Ukyou's shoulder and said in a  
puzzled tone, "Yes?"
             "Maybe you should let go of Ukyou now. I don't think 
she can breathe..." continued Akane.
             "Huh?"  asked Ryoga, now looking at Ukyou and  
surprised  to find  that his beloved's face was a ghastly bluish 
purple  color. He quickly let go saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" 
as Ukyou fell to the ground, struggling for air. 
             "Are you alright?" Ryoga asked Ukyou.
             The color had finally come beck into her face, "No 
thanks to you, you jackass..."
             Ukyou's  cut  herself off in mid sentence as she  and  
Ryoga stared at each other. Ukyou's gaze was full of anger 
and  outrage and  pain. Ryoga had a worshipful look on his 
face. Almost as  if he'd  been  in darkness all his life and had  
finally  found  the light.  They continues staring at each other 
for several  minutes and the painful silence dragged on.
             "Ranma," whispered Akane, "Do you know what's 
going on?"
             "I  have  no idea," he whispered back,  "Although  I  
didn't realize  that  these  two even knew each other,  much  
less  were fiances..."
             "Maybe we should give them some privacy..."
             "Heck, no! I want to see how this turns out..."
             "Ranma..!" Akane whispered fiercely.
             The silence continued. Ranma and Akane eventually 
picked the two up off the floor and seated them at a booth, to 
keep them out of  the  way of the customers. The entire  time,  
they  continued staring at each other. Eventually, the 
customers had eaten  their fill and left, Ranma was in the 
process of putting away the money in  the cash register, and 
Akane was washing the dirty dishes  in the  back, when 
Ryoga finally said hesitantly, "So this is  where you are-"
             "Yes," Ukyou snapped coldly.
             "I tried to find you after the wedding-"
             "That wasn't a weddong it was a farce." Ukyou 
returned in a brittle voice.
             "Um... nobody would tell me where you'd gone-" 
Ryouga tried to continue.
             "I  didn't  want to be found," she replied. You  could  
have frozen ice cubes with that voice, "Especially not by you."
             Ryoga  finally  noticed  Ranma who  was  making  
himself  as inconspicuous  as  possible behind the counter.  
He  had  already finished  with the cash register and was 
trying hard not to  make it look like he was eavesdropping.
             Ryoga suddenly said, "Ranma, do you mind? This is 
a  private conversation--"
             "No, Ranchan. Stay," interrupted Ukyou, "I've got 
nothing to discuss with this jackass that can't be said in front 
of my  best friend."
             Ryoga's eyes suddenly lit up with anger, "What did 
you  call Ranma?!"
             "Ranchan,"  said  Ukyou  coolly, "You  remember...  
my  best friend from high school. I'm pretty sure I mentioned 
him once  or twice. How do you know him?"
             "You  mentioned  him  practically every  other  day,"  
Ryoga snarled,  "You  mean to tell me that your 'Darling  
Ranchan'  was Ranma  all  along?!" Ryoga turned to Ranma, 
"We lived  under  the same roof for two years and you never 
mentioned this once?!!?"
             "Hey!"  said  Ranma stepping back. He'd  fought  
with  Ryoga before and he knew he was better, but Ryoga had 
the edge when  it came  to strength and endurance, "You 
never said  anything  about Ukyou! All you ever did was 
mope about how your fiance left  you! You mean you were 
Ryochan?"
             "What a coincidence, Ryoga," she said his name with 
the same inflections one would use for referring to a maggot, 
"You used to live  with  Ranma... now he's living with me," 
she  said  with  a cruel smile.
             Ryoga's head swiveled back and forth between the 
two.  Ukyou was coolly unreadable and Ranma had a look of 
panic on his  face. You could almost see steam rising from 
Ryoga's head as he  rushed Ranma,  screaming, "You already 
have a fiance, but you're  living with my Ukyou! I will not 
have it Saotome! Prepare to die!!"
             Ryoga  crashed through the counter and nearly  
smashed  into Ranma. Ranma easily stepped to one side and 
delivered a strike to the back of Ryoga's neck which should by 
rights have dropped him. All it did was make Ryoga angrier 
as he began to take wild swings at Ranma, which Ranma 
easily blocked or avoided.
             "Ryoga! Calm down man, it's not what you think!" 
said  Ranma desperately. He knew full well that when Ryoga 
was this  steamed, he was virtually unstoppable... short of 
ramming him into a steel wall and even that wasn't 
guaranteed to work.
             Akane stepped out of the kitchen area to see Ranma 
and Ryoga tearing up the counter and some of the tables. 
Ukyou was  sitting in  one  corner looking as though she were 
just  about  ready  to break  down.  Akane was the Goddess of 
Conflicts, and  she  could feel a massive conflict of emotions 
within Ukyou...
             "What  is going on out here?!" she said. 
Unfortunately,  she picked the wrong time to say it. Ranma 
was momentarily distracted allowing  Ryoga to get his hands 
on Ranma's neck and pick him  up like a rag doll.
             "Gotcha!  Now  you  will pay  Saotome!"  Ryoga's  
voice  was already bordering on the irrational, "For ruining 
my life and for stealing my Ukyou!!"
             Akane didn't even hear him ranting, she saw her 
Ranma  being attacked  and she acted immediately. Pulling 
out her mallet,  she swung back and hammered him across 
the back, sending both him and Ranma  flying towards the 
open front door.  Unfortunately,  Ranko was just on her way 
in, humming a happy tune.
             Ranma  and Ryoga slammed into Ranko. Ryoga lost 
his grip  on Ranma  at  roughly the same moment that Ranma 
made  contact  with Ranko,  resulting in his transformation. 
All three were not  hurt beyond  simple  bruises, but Ryoga 
was a little  stunned  by  the hammer  blow.  He  shook his 
head to  clear  it,  looking  around desperately for Ranma, 
who had disappeared. "The little  coward's run off again," he 
snarled as he stood up.
             At  his feet, a pair of attractive redheads, twins no  
doubt he thought, cowered, "Where'd he go?!" he snarled at 
the one with the  shorter braid. She raised a trembling hand 
and pointed  down the street.
             With  a  nod,  Ryoga  took  off  heading  in  the   
opposite direction.   The  two  redheads  blinked  in  
confusion,  as   he disappeared in the distance.
             "What's  going  on?"  asked  Ranko,  trying  to  
disentangle herself from Ranma.
             "Do  you  really think I know?" said Ranma,  
irritated.  She surveyed   herself   and   muttered,  "I   never   
thought   this transformation thing could come in handy."
             Akane  stepped out of the door and saw them on  the  
ground, trying  to pick themselves up, but still locked in what  
appeared to be some sort of a hug. She made a small snarling 
noise at  the back of her throat which was echoed by distant 
thunder.
             Ranko  noticed  her and said suddenly in a coy  
voice,  "Oh, Ranma! We mustn't! What if Akane were to 
catch us?! Besides we're both women!"
             "What are you babbling about!?" said Ranma, who 
had  finally managed to get her arms free. She noticed a 
shadow falling on her created  by the light of Ucchan's 
doorway... she looked  up  into the seething face of Akane.
             Akane picked up the two and easily separated them, 
"Ranma, I can  appreciate  that you had to get away from  
Ryoga...  but  at least  have  the  decency  not  to  look  like  
you're   enjoying yourself..."
             Ranko  glomped onto Ranma, transforming him 
again, "Ah,  but my  darling cousin, if he so desperately 
wants me why  should  you stop  him? You can't really blame 
him.. er... her... Akane,  it's your  own fault, you know..." she 
said airily. Ranko snuggled  up to  the now female Ranma 
some more and said, "Stop being so  shy, Darling..." 
             Ranma  gently tried to pushed her away and said,  
"Will  you stop that!?!"
             Akane picked Ranko up by the collar and tossed her 
over  her shoulder,  "What's going on Ranma!? Why was 
Ryoga trying to  kill you?!"
             "Stop   trying  to  maul  my  beautiful  body  you   
violent maniac..." said Ranko as she slowly picked herself up.
             "Why  does everyone keep asking me?" asked 
Ranma,  "I'm  the innocent  bystander here..." she leaned 
himself against the  wall next to the door and rubbed at her 
injuries. Those were going  to be sore in the morning. 
             Ukyou stepped out of the restaurant herself. Akane, 
thinking fast reached out and tagged Ranma on the chest, 
turning him  back into his male form. 
             "So where did Ryoga go?" she asked in a brittle 
voice.
             "Gone... he wandered off." replied Ranma.
             Ranko took one good look at Ukyou's emotional state 
and  was surprised  by what she found... she hid a smirk from  
the  others and  simply declared, "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm 
going back up  to the room to sleep," as she walked into the 
restaurant, she  said, "By the way, Ranma, Tate-kun sends his 
regards..." 
             Ranma  frowned, "Tate-kun? Who's Tate-kun?" he  
asked  himself, but at the moment it was less important than 
Ukyou's problem...
             "Ucchan, do you want to talk about it?" he asked 
Ukyou.
             "We're  your  friends  Ukyou. Please  let  us  help,"  
Akane pleaded.
             "I'm  not sure you can," Ukyou said with a small sad  
smile, "Maybe it's already to late."
             "It's  never too late," said Akane with a certain  sense  
of authority, "Nothing is ever totally irrevocable..."
             Ukyou sighed and shook her head sadly, as she 
gestured  them into  the  restaurant.  Ranma and Akane  
looked  at  each  other, shrugged  and followed. They went 
through the motions of  closing up  the restaurant before 
Ukyou finally sat the two of them  down at one booth and 
talked...
             "Ranma, do you remember my last letter to you?" 
Ukyou began.
             "Yeah.  I  still have it around here somewhere..."  he  
said thinking about rooting through the various junk he had 
piled in his room.
             "No, don't bother. Do you remember what I said 
there?"
             "Yeah. That you were getting married to this guy you 
met and that  you two were really happy. I called you on the 
day  of  the wedding but your roommates told me you'd 
moved out already.  They never  told  me  why," Ranma's 
brow furrowed  in  thought,  "Your fiance was Ryoga?"
             Ukyou   nodded.  "We  were  supposed  to  get   
married   on Valentine's  Day,  I had the wedding hall and the  
reception  and everything was ready."
             "What happened?" asked Ranma.
             "Then  he disappears. I waited at the wedding hall  
for  six days  for  him.  He never showed up... I was  so  
humiliated!  My entire  family was there... my friends..." 
Ukyou's voice  was laced  with bitterness and tears were 
forming at the  corners  of her eyes.
             "That's  so  sad,"  said  Akane laying  a  hand  on  
Ukyou's shoulder.
             Ukyou smiled faintly in Akane's direction then asked,  
"This part  was  always one of the hardest to tell Akane...  
Could  you please get me some water?"
             Akane nodded and headed towards the kitchen.
             "Since  that day, I've tried to forget that I was a  
woman," Ukyou  continued now addressing only Ranma, "I  
started  dressing like  a man, acting like one... I didn't want to 
take the  chance of  having  my heart broken again. I left 
Tokyo, moved  out  here where nobody knew me... then I just 
sort of reestablished  myself as  Ukyou Kuonji, a practical 
person who doesn't care about  love or sentiment... At least 
until a few weeks ago."
             "Why? What happened then?" Ranma asked.
             Ukyou blushed and gave a shy smile. For the first 
time since she  realized who Ranma really was, she looked  
very  feminine... "You came back, Ranchan. My best friend in 
the world came back."
             "Here's your water Ukyou," said Akane, suddenly 
stepping out of the kitchen.
             Ranma  had a look of confused shock and Ukyou  
was  blushing red.  Akane looked at the two, as she sat and 
asked in a  puzzled tone, "Is something wrong?"
             "Nooo... nothing's wrong at all..." said Ranma 
incoherently.
             "Anyway,"  said  Ukyou  without  missing  a  beat,  
blushing furiously,  "I  was probably just wishing...  it  would  
probably never have worked out. Him being already engaged 
to someone else and all..."
             "Yeah...  I  guess..." said Ranma,  suspiciously,  "I  
never realized,  though..." he managed to stop himself in time 
when  he noticed that Akane was here.
             "Um... are you talking about Ryoga?" asked Akane, 
unclear.
             "No,"  said  Ukyou  clearly,  "Ryoga  was  someone  I  
never expected to see again. I never want to see him again," 
she folded her arms and her mouth became a thin hard line.
             "Ucchan..."  Ranma  said,   "Maybe  if  you  talked  
to  him first... Get his side. He's not that bad a guy--"
             "There  can  be no forgiveness. If he shows up  
around  here I'll put him in the hospital," she said, cracking 
her knuckles.
             Akane  said,  "I agree with Ranma, Ukyou. I saw the  
way  he looked at you. He's still in love with you..."
             "Hmph," Ukyou sniffed, "Maybe he just realized how 
much he's lost..." 
             "You know that might be it..." said Ranma slowly.
             "What do you mean?" asked Ukyou.
             "Maybe Ryoga got lost on the way to the wedding 
hall."
             Ukyou frowned, "The hotel we were staying in was 
right  next to the wedding hall, how can you get lost on his 
way there?"
             Ranma smirked, "This is Ryoga we're talking about. 
He  gets lost  going across the street. It takes him to hours to 
find  the bathroom in a one bedroom apartment. The man has 
the world's most pathetic sense of direction."
             "He  wasn't like that when I knew him... Nobody's  
sense  of direction could be that bad..." said Ukyou dubiously.
             "His  is. Trust me. You can ask anybody at  the  
University. How  else do you explain the fact that this place is 
only  a  few blocks  from where he lives, but he's never been 
here before?  We didn't  used to let him leave the dorm alone 
because  it  usually took him weeks to get back.
             "No  matter.  I  don't care what  happens  to  that  
jackass anymore as long as he doesn't show up here," she said 
bitterly as she  stood  up, "I'm going to bed now, guys. Just  
turn  out  the lights when you turn in, Okay?"
             "Sure thing, Ukyou," said Ranma.
             Ranma  and Akane watched as Ukyou climbed up the  
stairs  to her  apartment.  Ranma was a little confused by  
what  Ukyou  had said...  He'd always considered Ukyou a 
friend, but never did  he think that she felt that way about 
him. And Ryoga, while a rival, was  also a friend of his... 
There was only one thing that  could be done. 
             Akane  noticed  Ranma's look of distraction and  
said,  "You want to help them don't you?"
             "Is it that obvious?"
             "A little. So, what do you think we should do?"
             "I  don't know yet... maybe if we got Ryoga's side we  
might have something more to work with..."
             "Say no more..." she said brightly as she dragged 
Ranma  out of his seat, "Follow me, we can still catch up to 
him."
             "Where are we going?" asked Ranma.
             "The bathroom."
             "What? How's that going to find Ryoga?"
             "I need water to move through, silly..."
             "Oh, yeah... you mentioned that."
             She  nodded as they entered the bath. Akane filled a  
bucket of water and set it down in front of them.
             "Do  I  have  to  hold  my  breath?"  Ranma  asked   
looking incredulously at the bucket.
             "No,  just hold onto me..." she said putting her arm  
around Ranma's waist.  
             "Er... like this?" he said putting a tentative hand to  
hold her shoulder.
             Akane  frowned at him, "Hold on tighter, Ranma if 
you  don't want to get stranded in between."
             "I'm holding already, I'm holding..." 
             "Erhk!  Not  that tight, you idiot!" she squeaked  as  
Ranma released his grip, "That's better. Here we go!"
             Akane  jumped into the bucket, pulling Ranma in  
after  her. Ranma  didn't even have time to register what he 
saw  during  the journey. One moment, he was in Ukyou's 
bathroom, the next he  was standing waist deep in a public 
bath. The women's section.
             Most  of the women currently had their backs to 
Ranma  which was a good thing. Considering how vigorously 
they defended  their own virtue against peeping toms. Case in 
point. Ryoga Hibiki.
             Ryoga,  when his rage had finally run out, had  fallen  
into the  black pits of depression. He had wandered into the 
baths  by accident.  In his state of mind, he'd failed to notice  
precisely where  he was and was only snapped out of it finally  
by  finding himself  in  the  center of screaming circle of  
women  who  were pitching wooden buckets, plastic chairs, 
and anything else  which came  in handy with uncanny 
accuracy. Ryoga had managed to  avert his  eyes quickly 
enough to avoid a nosebleed, but with his  eyes closed, he 
couldn't find his way out either. Some of those bucket strikes 
were starting to hurt too...
             Screams of "Pervert!" "Pig!" Get out of here!" were  
already echoing  through  the  baths. So Akane's sudden  
shout  of  "Stop looking you, pervert!" at Ranma when she 
realized where they were was hardly noticed.
             Ranma on the other hand didn't bother to avert his 
gaze.  He quickly  dashed past the women and grabbed Ryoga 
by  the  collar, hauling  him out of there as quickly as he 
could. Of course  this resulted in a fresh series of screams and 
thrown items.  
             Shouts  to  the  effect  of,  "Another  one!",  "Get  
him!", "They're probably in cahoots!", "Isn't that Ranma?" 
             Ranma sprinted out at full speed. In the back of his 
mind he mused  that  his reputation was probably ruined...  
Somebody  was going  to  pay  for this. Following close  on  
his  heels,  Akane finally managed to catch up with him.
             "Why didn't you tell me we were going to end up in a 
women's bath, you idiot?!" asked Ranma.
             "How  was I supposed to know your idiot friend 
would  wander into one!?" she retorted angrily.
             "Is  it safe to look now?" Ryoga asked worriedly as  
he  was dragged along.
             "Shut up!" Ranma and Akane said simultaneously.
             As they finally ran out of the baths, they turned the 
corner and entered an alley. They finally stopped, breathing 
hard.
             "I think we lost them..." said Ranma.
             "Where are we?" asked Akane.
             "It looked like the bath of the women's dorm..."  
muttered Ranma.
             Akane  frowned,  "How would you know what the  
women's  bath looks like?"
             "Er... I mean the outside, Akane."
             Akane merely glared at him.
             "Is it safe to look now?" repeated Ryoga in the same 
tone of voice, his eyes firmly screwed shut.
             Ranma sighed, "Yeah, its safe, you idiot."
             Ryoga frowned at the voice before he opened his 
eyes. 
             When  he saw Ranma he immediately went into a 
wild lunge  at him, "I'm going to kill you Saotome!"
             Ranma  quickly borrowed Akane's mallet and  easily  
hammered him into the ground.
             "I just saved your bacon in there, Ryoga! Doesn't that 
count for something?"
             "Do you think pulling me out of a women's bath can 
take away all  of  the pain you've caused me?" Ryoga asked  
angrily  as  he picked himself up.
             "What  are  you babbling about?" asked Akane,  
grabbing  her hammer back from Ranma.
             "You must have been laughing the whole time, 
Ranma," he said bitterly,  "Ukyou  always talked about her  
Ranchan...  her  best friend... she was always comparing the 
two of us, you know... She always  said Ranchan was her best 
friend, but she made you  sound more like an old boyfriend..."
             "I  didn't know, Ryoga. I only found out about this 
now.  We were   just  friends..."  complained  Ranma,  "And  
if  its   any consolation, when she did write to me, she'd keep 
going on and on about her Ryochan--"
             "Enough  talk  Ranma it won't save you--" he paused  
as  the words  finally reached his brain, "You mean she used 
to  call  me Ryochan in her letters?"
             "Who  else could she be talking about? She 
mentioned  fangs, bandannas,  hideously  strong...  how many 
guys  answer  to  that description?" Ranma shrugged.
             Ryoga's face darkened again, "That still doesn't 
change  the fact  that you're living with her... she said so,  
Ukyou  doesn't lie..."
             "We're living with her..." said Akane suddenly.
             Ryoga looked at the two of them, "Huh?"
             "Ranma  is  living with her, but so am I and so  is  
Ranko," Akane continued.
             "After you kicked me out of the dorm, I didn't have 
anywhere to  stay... it was just lucky I ended up there and she 
offered us a place to stay for the night," Ranma  thought 
about it, "That was about three weeks ago..."
             "You   mean...  you  two  aren't  living   together   
living  together... you're just staying under the same roof?" 
said  Ryoga in a puzzled tone.
             "Precisely,"  answered  Akane,  "You've got  nothing  
to  be jealous about there."
             "But, she's really mad at you, you know..." said 
Ranma.
             Ryoga suddenly slumped to the ground, "I know, I 
know... I'm not  even  sure  I can make her listen to  me... but 
if she did,  I  could  explain everything..."
             Akane  smiled  at him and put a hand on his  
shoulder,  "I'm sure  you could Ryoga-kun... but we've got to 
find a way to  make her listen. We'll help you if we can..."
             Ryoga  couldn't help but smile back at her,  "Really?  
Thank you. Thank you very much..." he got back to his feet.
             "So what really did happen?" asked Ranma.
             "Let's  talk  about it on the way to the  dorm..."  he  
said starting  off in a random direction. Ranma blinked as he  
steered Ryoga in the proper direction and gestured to Akane 
to follow.
             "Basically,"  Ryoga said as they walked, Ranma and 
Akane  on either side of him to keep him on the right track, 
"We were going to be married. Her family liked me and said 
it was a good  match. Her  dad  even promised to give me the 
family's restaurant  as  a dowry...  The night before the 
wedding, we had an  argument...  I don't even remember what 
it was about... Anyway, I went on a walk that  night, 
wondering about my marriage, about how things  would 
change...  you know, trying to sort things out in my head...  
the next thing I know its 2 A.M. in the morning and I'm in 
some place called Kansas."
             Ranma and Akane shared incredulous looks.
             Ryoga shook his head at the memory, "It took me two 
weeks to get  back... by then Ukyou had disappeared. No one 
would tell  me where  she  went  and  her  family  wouldn't  
even  talk  to   me anymore..."  he continued sadly, "I haven't 
been able to find  my way  around properly since. I ended up 
coming here to continue  my education again. That's what 
happened."
             They  walked on  in silence as  Ryoga's  two  
companions mulled  over his story. "Well, that's what I told 
her... that you'd gotten lost... but  she didn't buy it," said 
Ranma finally.
             "Do  you  really  think  you  can  help  me?"  asked   
Ryoga desperately as they dropped him off at the dorm.
             "We  can  help you," said Akane with conviction as 
they guided him to the front door,  "Count  on it."
	Ryoga bowed and thanked them both, as he stumbled 
into the dorm. It was highly likely that he would take the 
better part of the evening looking for his room, but at least he 
was there. As he disappeared into the building, Ranma turned 
to Akane and said skeptically, "Do you really think we can 
help him?"
	Akane smiled, "We live with the goddess of 
affection, I'm sure Ranko would be glad to help..."
	Ranma still looked doubtful, "Ranko? Help? Of her 
own free will? "
	"She likes Ukyou. She'd probably be glad to do it."
	Ranma got a strange look on his face as an idle 
thought crossed his mind, "She... likes... Ukyou?"
	Akane noticed the look and gave him a knock on the 
head, "Not like that, you pervert!" she calmed down a little, 
"She likes the fact that Ukyou's an independent woman. She 
almost respects that..."
	"I suppose..." he replied, still doubtful.
	Akane gave Ranma a warm smile as she took his 
arm, "Come on, we've still got that other place to check out 
tomorrow. We want to get plenty of rest."
	Ranma nodded and looked around, "How are we 
getting home anyway? Its a pretty long walk..."
	"Same way we got here, you big silly," Akane 
laughed, dragging him to a puddle of water that had collected 
at a nearby faucet.
	"Aw, man..."

	They did indeed check out the other place the 
following day... for a change, all three of them.
	"Is this place what I think it is, Akane-chan?" asked 
Ranma incredulously.
	"Looks like it," Akane replied, also slightly stunned.
	"I like it!" said Ranko with conviction, smiling 
broadly as she surveyed the grounds.
	"Can we afford this?" asked Ranma finally, his 
surprise still plain on his face.
	Akane turned to him and said, "This was actually the 
cheapest place so far... its got an even lower price than that 
apartment downtown..."
	Ranko had already wandered off to explore the 
garden.
	"Why are they renting this place out so cheap? It's 
huge! It's got its own grounds and everything, but it costs less 
than a fleabag one room apartment? There's gotta be 
something wrong with it," said Ranma a little uncertainly.
	"Nothing I could find, Ranma. I guess people just 
generally don't want to live here..." said Akane.
	"I can't really blame them," he replied, glancing up 
at the somewhat derelict old structure...
	"We'll take it!" said Ranko enthusiastically, 
bouncing back to the two.
	"I've still got my doubts about this..." said Ranma 
putting a hand at Akane's shoulder...
	Akane smiled at him, "No... this place feels right, 
Ranma."
	"Aw c'mon, Saotome!" said Ranko happily, "This is 
perfect! Where else would you expect a pair of goddesses to 
live but at a temple?"



PART V: Of Baneful Food and Loving Thoughts.

	Ranma never was much of an early riser when he 
could get away with it. Fortunately for him Akane was. The 
three of them had stayed up late the night before, mostly just 
getting settled in and discussing plans about what to do with 
poor Ryoga and Ukyou... not much was resolved of course, 
especially after Ranko turned Ranma into a girl and the entire 
discussion degenerated into another shouting match...
	Akane opened the door to Ranma's bedroom and 
tsked to herself at its state. Admittedly, between the three of 
them, Ranma had the most in the way of personal belongings 
and they did only just move in the day before, it was still no 
excuse for the mess she saw. It took her a moment to pick her 
way through the scattered clothes (both clean and dirty), 
training gear, and textbooks (a good many of which had yet to 
be opened she noted with some amusement).
	She paused a moment standing over his futon and 
smiled down at Ranma's sleeping form. He only wore boxer 
shorts and a tanktop to bed, and much as it embarrassed her, 
she did like it when he wore that around the house. I mean its 
not really as if he's got anything to hide from me, she thought 
with a giggle, I've seen him in less...
	She knelt next to him and put a hand on his 
shoulder, giving him a slight shake, "It's Monday morning, 
Ranma. Wake up."
	Ranma turned over in his sleep murmuring vaguely, 
"I... take... to be my lawfully wedded..."
	Akane gave a sigh of exasperation and shook him 
more vigorously, "C'mon, hurry up, I've got breakfast 
ready..." her brow furrowed for a moment as she caught what 
he was muttering in his sleep. "A wedding? He's dreaming 
about a wedding?" she thought slightly surprised.
	She was even more surprised as Ranma suddenly 
reached up and pulled her to him...
	Ranma was indeed dreaming of a wedding... he 
hadn't gotten a very clear image of who the bride was, just 
that someone was rushing them through the ceremony 
because something bad was coming... but the priest, a man 
with a mustache and long hair,  had just said you man now 
kiss the bride and that's what he intended to do. He reached 
for the bride and lifted her veil catching only the briefest 
glimpse of woman's eyes as he drew her close... whereupon 
she suddenly smashed him on the head with a large and very 
familiar looking mallet...
	That was the sort of thing which would shock 
anyone to full consciousness. Ranma shook his head a few 
times to clear it as he looked up at a very flustered and angry 
Akane. She held her huge hammer in both hands and 
glowered at Ranma, a slight aura of energy was beginning to 
play around her body.
	"What did you do that for?!" asked Ranma blearily. 
He was not at his best during the mornings. Especially not 
until he'd had breakfast...
	"And what may I ask were you trying to do?!" she 
asked in a tight angry voice.
	"I wasn't trying to do anything! I was just sleeping 
here!" retorted Ranma, picking himself up off the futon.
	"You tried to take advantage of me, you lech!" 
shouted Akane, "Everything they said about you was true, 
wasn't it!?!"
	"Tried to take advantage of you!? Why the heck 
would I want to do that, you stupid tomboy?!"
	"You were pretending to be asleep so you could grab 
me and try to kiss me!" Akane shot back, her face burning out 
of embarrassment and anger.
	"I did not!" Ranma replied, shocked.
	"Did so!"
	"Would you two keep it down, I'm still trying to get 
some sleep here..." said a rather dishevelled looking 	Ranko 
from the door, "I swear this is so juvenile, I could hear you 
two arguing all the way on the other side of the temple."
	Ranma and Akane turned on Ranko at the same 
time, "Stay out of this!"
	Ranma, of course, paused momentarily on seeing 
Ranko. She was wearing a very sheer nightgown which left so 
little to the imagination, she may as well have been naked. 
Ranko paused a moment to stretch and Ranma's eyes couldn't 
help but follow as some parts went up... and others went that 
way... Akane got a murderous look in her eyes as she 
tightened her grip on her hammer.
	"Ranko. Get out! This is a private conversation!" 
said Akane, furious.
	Ranma realized that he was staring and somehow, 
quite possibly by sheer willpower, he was able to tear his gaze 
from Ranko. He did his best to appreciate the view outside his 
window, which while less interesting than the one at his door, 
was considerably less dangerous.
	Ranko raised an eyebrow and quietly backed out, 
closing the door behind her. She decided that if they wanted 
to spend the whole morning arguing this was good too. This 
was their first major argument in a week... with luck this 
would be the one that broke them up. At the very least if they 
kept this up, she'd have dibs on the bathroom...

	Ranko came into the dining room to find Akane 
setting the plates on the table. There was something very odd 
in the room which Ranko felt immediately, but she couldn't 
quite figure out what was wrong precisely... a curious scent in 
the air perhaps...
	It didn't take a goddess to see that Akane was quite 
upset and was largely slamming the dishes onto the table, 
causing their contents to jump or every so often spill. The fact 
that most of the dishes were shatter proof could've been taken 
as either luck or foresight on the part of  Ranma for buying 
them.
	Akane glowered at Ranko, "Don't you have any 
shame? Put something on!"
	Ranko glanced down at the short terrycloth robe 
which was all she was wearing and struck a pose, "What do I 
have to be ashamed about Hammer girl? I've got a great 
figure," she made a dismissive gesture in Akane's direction, 
"But what would you know about that? You haven't got 
one..."
	Akane glanced involuntarily down at her own 
clothes. She was wearing an old pair of Ukyou's slacks and 
one of Ranma's Chinese shirts, "Oh, shut up."
	Ranko decided to test the waters, "If you keep 
wearing masculine clothes like that, how is Ranma supposed 
to find you sexy?"
	Akane muttered under her breath, "What do I care 
whether or not that stupid jerk thinks I'm sexy..." Not that it 
stopped him from grabbing me like that, she added mentally. 
	Ranko smiled lazily as she seated herself, "What did 
he do this time, Akane?"
	Akane glared at Ranko, "None of your business, 
Ranko!"
	Ranko raised an eyebrow, "My aren't we feeling 
bright and chipper this morning, hammer girl... what did 
your lovey-poo do this time?"
	"He is not my lovey-poo!" Akane replied angrily, 
rather disgusted at the term...
	"Your darling fiance, then?" asked Ranko 
innocently.
	"Not that either, he's just a stupid mortal jerk!"
	Ranko smiled, "Hey, I knew you'd see it my way. Are 
we ready to leave yet?"
	Akane's face clouded over in surprise, "Leave? What 
do you mean leave?"
	"He's just an idiot right? So just tell the jerk off, I 
figure he's pissed at you too, he'll let you leave and bang! 
We'll be back in Heaven in time for one of your sister's 
famous dinners!" Ranko replied brightly.
	"Um... I don't know, Ranko..." Akane said 
uncertainly, the thought of actually leaving Ranma for good 
shocked her out of her angry mood, "I mean... it's not that 
bad...  um... I mean, it's not like he tried to grab me or 
something..." or he did, but I'm not telling you that, Akane 
added silently.
	Ranko's perfect brow furrowed, "What DID he do?"
	I don't understand what I'm so upset about, thought 
Akane as she calmed down some more. She gave Ranko an 
even stare, "I told you. None of your business."
	Akane added to herself, I mean its not like he did 
something really bad... I was kind of hoping he'd do that... 
she sighed, I just wish he hadn't surprised me like that, 
though...
	Ranko finally realized what had been bothering since 
she'd entered the dining room. She gave another tentative 
sniff and glanced at what Akane was setting on the table. She 
asked Akane tentatively, "Akane... did you... cook?"
	Akane replied happily, "Yes. I thought Ranma might 
like a home cooked meal for a change."
	Ranko nodded slowly as she watched some of the 
spilled food slowly eat through the table, "Yes. He probably 
would at that..." No telling what he'll change into if he eats 
that, she thought with a suppressed giggle. 
	"Give me a moment," said Ranko as she stood up 
suddenly. She returned to the table a few moments later with 
a cup of hastily prepared instant ramen. 
	Akane looked at Ranko strangely, "What's that for? I 
made plenty for all of us."
	Ranko smiled sweetly at Akane, "Oh, none for me 
thanks. Besides... you know Ranma's appetite. You made it 
for him didn't you? I'll let him enjoy it."
	"Okay," Akane replied doubtfully.
	Ranma arrived at the table still toweling his hair. He 
was wearing another tanktop and the loose Chinese pants he 
preferred. He was still somewhat grumpy but his expression 
softened as he noticed Akane now seemed to be more 
cheerful.
	"Um... Akane... about earlier..." Ranma started 
tentatively.
	Akane cut him off, "Oh, don't worry about it. I 
shouldn't have gotten so upset, it probably was a 
misunderstanding..."
	"Um... its sort of difficult to have a 
misunderstanding about something like..."
	Akane smiled pleasantly, "Let's just forget it 
happened, okay?"
	"Er... Yeah. Okay. I guess..." he replied relaxing 
somewhat, but still quite uncertain as to what DID happen.
	Ranko raised an eyebrow but kept quiet and let the 
two talk.
	He glanced down at the table and got a surprised 
look on his face, "Akane? What's all this?"
	"Akane made breakfast for you. All by herself. 
Wasn't that sweet of her?" Ranko said in her silky voice.
	Ranma's face brightened, "Really, Akane?" 
	Akane smiled back at Ranma, "Yeah. Eating nothing 
but cup ramen isn't good for you."
	"Thanks for the concern..." but his smile faltered as 
he got a second look at the offerings. None of the dishes 
looked particularly presentable. Or palatable for that matter. 
Or even edible in some cases...
	Akane failed to notice his expression as she brought 
the rice cooker closer to the table, "I haven't cooked for 
anyone in a while, so I hope you like it."
	"Oh... okay," said Ranma with a slight sinking 
sensation. The last time he'd eaten anything that looked even 
remotely like this was when one of his cullinarily challenged 
fans made him lunch... he ended up staying in the hospital for 
a month. Somehow Akane's cooking seemed to promise even 
worse than that. The food sat in its bowl radiating a certain 
low grade menace... If it was possible for a meal to glower at 
someone, this meal was doing just that.
	Ranma glanced at Ranko, "Why are you eating 
instant ramen? Don't you want any?"
	Ranko favored Ranma with a silky smile, "Oh, but 
your dear, dear Akane made this for you Ranma. It wouldn't 
be right if I ate any of it."
	Akane rolled her eyes, "Ranma, don't listen to her. 
She's in another of her moods."
	Ranma sat down apprehensively, but hunger 
overcame suspicion as he spooned what could only be loosely 
be identified as 'chunks' of food over his rice. 
	"It smells... interesting, Akane-chan," said Ranma 
eyeing the breakfast.
	"Eat up, there's plenty," Akane said offering a few 
pieces of what might have been an omelet but only Kami-
sama knew for sure.
	Ranma couldn't help but smile at Akane's happy 
expression, "Well... you made it Akane-chan, I'm sure it'll be 
good."
	Ranko avoided sniggering at him only by slurping up 
a few more noodles.
	Akane handed Ranma a pair of chopsticks and she 
apprehensively watched as Ranma ate  her cooking. He bit 
through the chopsticks at his first mouthful. Akane blinked at 
him as his face turned pale... then slightly green... then 
purple... before he managed to make a convulsive swallow, 
chopsticks bits and all.
	Ranma stood up suddenly and said in a strained 
voice, "That was great, Akane. I've got to get going... I might 
be late getting to class!" before he dashed off.
	Akane called after him, "But you're classes won't be 
for another hour!"
	Ranko was fighting to keep from laughing as she 
said, "Incidentally, Akane... do you ever taste your own 
cooking?"
	"No. Why?" Akane replied, slightly confused, 
"Should I?"
	Ranko shook her head, and noted sagely, "No... true 
gourmets never taste their own dishes. You'd better save it, 
though, he might want some for tonight. Or better yet," 
Ranko added brightly, as a thought occurred to her, "Make 
him a proper feast! To apologize for fighting with him. Peace 
offering and all that."
	Akane looked suspiciously at her, "Do you think that 
would work?"
	Ranko nodded, "It'll be perfect! There's an old saying 
that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so show 
him your love by making him a good meal!"
	Akane blushed slightly, "Ranko!"
	"Trust me! I'm the Goddess of Affection! I know 
these things! It's guaranteed to work!"
	Akane looked at Ranko suspiciously, "Why are you 
so helpful all of a sudden?"
	Ranko said in tones laden with mock tragedy, "Woe 
is me, that my own family chooses to suspect my good 
intentions!"
	"That's because you don't have any good intentions, 
Ranko." Akane replied, exasperated.
	Ranko sighed, "Aw, Akane... didn't it occur to you 
that I might be getting used to this place? Besides... when you 
guys fight, it's a little tough for me to get any sleep."
	"Okay..." Akane conceded, but still suspicious.
	"I think I might actually be warming up a little to 
Saotome..." said Ranko sweetly.
	"I suppose it's possible... but I still suspect 
something's up," she shot Ranko a suspicious look, 
"'...warming up to him...' ?!"
	"Not like that, Hammer girl! Why are you so jealous 
all the time?"
	"I am not jealous!"
	"So you say, but with a cutie like Ranma I can't 
really say I'm surprised... I mean with his reputation with 
women and all..."
	"You know he's not like that, Ranko!"
	"Really?" Ranko asked in a bemused tone as Akane 
stormed off to put the largely untouched breakfast away.
	Ranko laughed lightly before turning back to her 
breakfast, doing her best to hide her amusement. Akane's 
cooking was notorious throughout Heaven. Even the most 
powerful and hungry First rank deities politely declined any 
offers of food made by Akane Tendo. Ranko knew this and 
was not touching any food Akane had a hand in preparing 
with anything short of a ten foot pole. Even then, her food 
might even try to eat the pole. 
	Ranko wondered idly if Ranma was okay... she knew 
it was cruel... perhaps even utterly heartless and needlessly 
sadistic to force the mortal idiot to eat even more of Akane's 
cooking after he'd so narrowly managed to avoid her attempt 
at breakfast... but all is fair in love and war, Saotome... And 
this was war. If it takes something as loathsome as Akane's 
cooking to be rid of you and on my way home, then so be it!

	Outside, Ranma managed to spit out most of the 
noxious mess that he'd swallowed before he rinsed his mouth 
out with some water. His eyes were still watering and it was 
almost impossible to get the hideous taste out of his mouth.
	"No doubt about it," he muttered to himself as he 
staggered to the van, "She's still mad at me... Otherwise she 
wouldn't try to poison me like that..."

	"So where are you going, Akane?" Ranko asked as 
she watched her cousin put on one of Ranma's coats.
	"I've got some shopping to do. I need some things for 
dinner tonight," Akane replied.
	Ranko smiled, "You're taking my advice?"
	"Yeah," Akane smiled back without realizing, "Once 
in a while, even you come up with a good idea. I'm sure a 
nice home cooked dinner will be just the thing to make up for 
this morning's argument."
	"It'll be fabulous, trust me. He's going to love you for 
it!" Ranko replied enthusiastically.
	Akane shifted uneasily at Ranko's pleasant tone,  
"Are you feeling alright, Ranko? Its not normal or you to be 
so nice."
	Ranko replied with a mysterious grin in  Akane's 
direction, noting to herself, I can afford to be nice. Once 
Saotome gets a taste of that noxious concoction she'll be 
trying to pass off as dinner, we'll be out of here so fast his 
head's going to spin.
	"Take care then. There's all sorts of weirdoes out 
there, you know," said Ranko.
	Akane left muttering, "Well, you would know."
	The market was a comfortable walking distance from 
the temple and Akane thought she could use the walk to clear 
her mind. She silently berated herself for hitting Ranma when 
she did... and reflected that he was probably still upset at her.
	She sighed. Her temper had gotten the best of her 
again. You shouldn't surprise a person like that. If Ranma 
had tried to kiss her at another time, she mused, she probably 
would have let him. But first thing in the morning and so 
suddenly at that... well he was dreaming, she conceded. 
About a wedding no less, she blushed.
	Her thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "Hey... 
Akane! Akane!"
	Akane whirled around and saw a handsome man 
approaching her, waving enthusiastically. She blinked and 
realized that it was actually Ukyou, "Oh. Hi, Ukyou," she 
said.
	Ukyou smiled as she caught up with Akane, "You 
were really out of it, sugar. I've been calling you for the past 
couple of minutes."
	"Oh, sorry. I was just... thinking," Akane replied.
	Ukyou nodded and gave her a knowing smile, 
"About Ranchan?"
	Akane blushed, "No... of course not!" she replied 
with considerably more force than she'd intended, "Okay. 
Maybe."
	"Thought so..." Ukyou replied smugly, "Where are 
you headed?"
	"The market. I have some shopping to do," Akane 
replied.
	"No kidding," Ukyou said, "Me too. I need to get 
some more soba noodles and vegetables for the restaurant and 
there's this really good place nearby."
	Ukyou noticed Akane's distracted expression and 
wondered what was wrong... it probably did have something 
to do with Ranma, she thought, may as well find out...
	"Do you want some company?" Ukyou asked 
brightly.
	Akane considered this for a minute... Ukyou was 
probably the best person to talk to about this. After all, she 
was Ranma's best friend and knew him best. Akane smiled, 
"Sure, why not?"

	Ranma walked into the Martial Arts Varsity 
Clubhouse for practice that afternoon. Mousse was there and 
so was Shampoo, but that was to be expected. She rarely left 
his side, still being rather uncomfortable in this new setting, 
and Mousse was very protective of his "little sister". Ryoga  
was there as well, helping to train one of the new recruits. 
Most of the other members of the Varsity were late, but this 
was the usual state of affairs. The coach ran a fairly loose 
ship.
	Ranma was in a rather thoughtful mood. He was 
worried that Akane was still mad at him for some reason. She 
claimed that he'd kissed her... which he didn't! He was sure! 
It's not like he was likely to forget something like that... This 
was Akane, for goodness' sake! That was definitely not 
something he'd forget about... He admitted to himself that 
he'd been wanting to kiss her for weeks now... the chance just 
never quite came up. That and the fact that when a chance to 
do so did come up, he'd lose his nerve... It was almost 
laughable. The two of them had been living quite closely for 
the past month and he hadn't even been able to manage a 
peck on the cheek. 
	Unfortunately, he mused, it also looked like she 
wasn't too eager for him to do anything of the sort. He was 
absolutely certain that he hadn't kissed her. Or tried to kiss 
her. Or laid in wait for her to come to him unsuspecting so he 
could pounce on her. Well... he was mostly certain... he 
could've been dreaming, he conceded, but he couldn't quite 
remember what he was dreaming about.
	And then there was the other thing that was really 
worrying him... that the only reason she was here at all was 
because of that stupid wish. He wasn't sure if she liked him or 
not. One minute she was very sweet and understanding... the 
next she'd be a raving lunatic. He was half wishing that he'd 
never made the wish in the first place, but stopped that train 
of thought... Because he did want Akane to be around. Even if 
she didn't really like him. But another thought occurred to 
him as he realized that maybe... just maybe... Akane was just 
as unhappy as Ranko was at being stuck on Earth with him... 
she was probably just better at hiding it from him. That 
thought brought him no comfort at all... he considered 
actually allowing the contracts to be broken... At the very 
least they'd be free to go back home, and he wouldn't have to 
worry about Ranko trying to transform him ever again... but 
he didn't want her to leave. If she'd only just tell him what she 
really wanted... he didn't know what that was... if he knew, 
life would be so much simpler for all of them...
	Not realizing what he was doing, Ranma suddenly 
clenched his hand into a fist and lashed out blindly, shouting, 
"What the heck does she really want!?!"
	He was rather surprised as he felt something solid 
connect with the end of his fist. Mousse who was having a 
very interesting, if one sided, conversation with the coat rack 
(which he thought was Shampoo), crumpled to the ground 
saying, "Whadjou do that for?"
	"Um... Sorry about that Mousse..." said Ranma as he 
helped the Chinese martial artist up. Mousse was somewhat 
stunned and he'd lost his glasses again, but was otherwise 
fine.
	Ryoga paused his sparring session his pink-haired 
opponent and asked Ranma in jokingly, "Trouble in paradise, 
Saotome?"
	"Don't get started Ryoga," Ranma muttered under 
his breath. 
	Ryoga looked at him with some surprise and wisely 
decided to keep his mouth shut.
	"I heard you moved out of Ucchan's last week." 
Ryoga said after a meaningful pause.
	Ranma nodded absently and said, "Yeah. You'll be 
happy to learn that the girls and I have our own place out in 
the suburbs now..."
	Mousse muttered, "How do you do it, Saotome? 
What bizarre power do you have over women?"
	Shampoo hit Mousse lightly on the arm, "Mousse-
sempai just want to know so he can do it too!"
	Ranma rolled his eyes, and replied sharply, "It's not 
my fault these things just happen to me, okay?! I'm stuck with 
a stupid tomboy and her stupider cousin, and its not my 
fault!"
	"Whatever," Ryoga replied awkwardly, before 
returning to his sparring session.
	Ranma blushed and sought for something to change 
the conversation with, "Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. I still have 
some stuff at the dorm, right? You guys said you'd send it to 
me once I had an address to send it to."
	Mousse, traded a myopic glance with Ryoga, 
"Erhm... stuff, Saotome?"
	Ranma got a suspicious look in his eyes, "Yeah. My 
hot plate is still at the dorm. Along with my TV, my VCR, 
the little fridge, my magazines, most of my clothes and about 
a dozen videos... You know. My stuff."
	Ryoga smiled sheepishly, "Oh... Yeah. That stuff..."
	"What did you guys do with it?!" Ranma asked 
heatedly. The day had already begun badly... he did not need 
this aggravation.
	Mousse did his best to try and calm Ranma down, 
"There's no need to take that tone of voice with us Saotome... 
we're all friends here..."
	"I'll tell you we're still friends when I find out what 
you did to my stuff!" Ranma roared.
	Shampoo put her hands on her hips and finally said, 
"Why you no tell, Saotome-sempai what you do? Shampoo 
thought you say is okay with Saotome-sempai!"
	Ranma looked at Shampoo, "What? What did these 
two do this time?"
	"They put Saotome-sempai's things for auction so 
Martial Arts Varsity Clubhouse have new windows," she 
gestured broadly, "See? Is nice windows. They say you no 
mind. You no mind, Saotome-sempai, yes?"
	Shampoo could see the expression on Ranma's face 
and the faint reddish nimbus of energy surrounding him. She 
considered these and quickly got out of his way, "Because if 
Saotome-sempai mind... Shampoo just want you to know 
Mousse no have anything to do with it. It all Hibiki-sempai 
fault..."
	Ryoga made a small choked sound, "Sha- Shampoo!"
	"Saotome... you did break the windows  kicking 
Kuno out the last time..." Mousse said lamely.
	Ranma cracked his knuckles and walked 
purposefully towards Ryoga and Mousse, "Mind... why would 
I mind..?"
	Ryoga backed up slowly, laughing nervously, "So 
you don't mind?"
	His laugh was cut off abruptly as the front of his 
shirt and Mousse's were suddenly grabbed and lifted by a 
furious Ranma, "This has been a really, really rotten day. 
Before it ends I expect you two jerks to have all of my stuff... 
and I do mean all of it, in front of my new home by tonight or 
I'm going to redecorate both your faces, is that clear?!!!"
	"Perfectly," said the surprised Ryoga.
	"Um... Absolutely, Saotome," replied Mousse in a 
strangled tone.
	The furious Ranma dropped the two on the training 
mat and stormed off without another word.
	"Saotome-sempai! What about practice?" Shampoo 
called after Ranma, but he ignored her.
	"He didn't take that as well as I thought he would," 
murmured Ryoga as he picked himself up. And why was he 
glowing like that?  He added silently.
	Mousse shook his head slightly dazed, "How are we 
going to get all of Saotome's belongings back? I don't even 
remember who we sold most of it to..."
	"No worry, Mousse-sempai. Shampoo keep all 
receipts."
	"We still can't get it back even if we do find the new 
owners!" moaned Ryoga, "The Martial Arts Varsity coffers 
aren't exactly bursting..."
	"Um... Ryoga," Mousse said, "Do you know where 
Saotome's new address is?"
	"Er... no," after a pause Ryoga added, "But 
something tells me we'd better find out real quick."
	"I agree," Mousse replied addressing a point about 
three inches to the left of Ryouga's ear, "I've never seen him 
that mad before," 
	Ryoga murmured, "Yeah. Not even after that time 
we rented him out to the Nekomi Fashion Club to be their 
model..."
	Shampoo helped Mousse up and meekly suggested, 
"Maybe he and Akane have fight?"
	Ryoga and Mousse looked at one another, or actually 
Ryoga looked at Mousse and Mousse looked in his general 
direction, , "You don't suppose..." started Mousse.
	"...Akane left him?" Ryoga said finishing the 
thought.
	As is standard in these matters, within moments 
rumor and speculation began to make the rounds of the 
campus...

	Ranma finally got home. Several dozen guys had 
pestered him about Akane, as he was leaving... traffic was 
horrible... and to top it off, he realized belatedly that he'd left 
his bag back at the Clubhouse. 
	"I'm home," he called out as he shut the front door 
and prepared himself. A slender arm suddenly lashed out and 
attempted to strike him on the chest. Ranma easily jumped 
straight up, jumping off the doorway, and landed with a flip 
behind Ranko.
	Ranko snapped her fingers and remarked casually, 
"Missed."
	"Don't get started, Ranko. I'm not in the mood." 
Ranma snapped.
	Ranko remarked wryly, "Don't worry, Saotome. Your 
darling fiance just cooked you up a wonderful dinner... I'm 
sure that should cheer you up."
	Ranma brightened up, "She did?" but his eyes 
narrowed again, "You know... now that I think about it... you 
didn't happen to have anything to do with breakfast did you? I 
mean it certainly tasted like something you'd do..."
	The red headed goddess merely smiled innocently at 
him (no mean feat) and replied, "Saotome, you know 
perfectly well I don't wake up that early..." 
	Ranma got a relieved look on his face. He was 
positive that she was probably lying to him again. So it was 
Ranko... no one could possibly cook that bad except 
intentionally, he thought. Ranko could positively feel the 
relief pouring from Saotome... she smirked to herself, Just 
wait until he tastes dinner...
	"You didn't touch dinner did you?" 
	Ranko gestured to herself and fluttered her lashes at 
him, "Moi? Akane wouldn't even let me in the kitchen. She 
said it was all a surprise for you..."
	She opened the door and stepped outside, "Oh, by 
the way, Saotome. Don't wait up," she smiled seductively at 
him, "I've got a date..."
	Ranma nervously waved her off, "Er... okay. Enjoy 
yourself."
	She turned and faced him a final time, "No, 
Ranma... you enjoy yourself," she walked to the gate laughing 
pleasantly at some joke only she understood...
	Ranma blinked nervously and thought to himself, 
Now what did she mean by that?
	A now familiar voice called to him from the kitchen, 
"Ranma? Is that you?"
	"Yeah, Akane-chan." 
	She stepped out of the kitchen wiping her hands 
absently on her apron as she took it off. She smiled at him 
and Ranma was momentarily stunned. The last time he'd seen 
Akane in a dress was when they'd first met. Truth to tell, that 
was more of a uniform to Akane than a real dress, but still. 
Add to that the fact that Ranma was too busy getting 
hammered to worry about what she was wearing...  Since 
then, based on their rather limited budget, Akane had mostly 
been wearing Ranma and Ukyou's old clothes... Ranko was 
another matter entirely and Ranma often suspected that she 
just conjured her clothes as necessary. 
	Akane was wearing a long powder blue skirt that 
reached a little past her knees and a white silk blouse that 
suited her perfectly. The part that had really surprised him 
was what she'd done to her hair. It was now quite short. 
Almost a pageboy cut. It looked absolutely great on her. 
Ranma's heart speeded up involuntarily...
	"Wha... wha... what did you do to your hair, 
Akane?!" he asked, dazed.
	She smiled as she deliberately brushed a stray strand 
from her face, "Do you like it?"
	Ranma gulped nervously, "Uh... it looks great."
	"Thanks. Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you go 
wait in the dining room?"
	"Um... yeah," he replied, not sure what else to say.
	He walked almost by autopilot into their dining area. 
He was still in shock. Akane always was cute... but now she 
looked positively devastating... he waited impatiently for her 
to come back. He definitely wanted to see her again to make 
sure he hadn't dreamed it...
	He sniffed curiously and realized that some truly 
wonderful scents were wafting in from the kitchen. He 
thought to himself, Wow... it smells great... it definitely must 
have been Ranko sabotaging Akane's breakfast... I wonder 
how she didn't notice. 
	Akane walked in cheerfully holding a smoking bowl, 
"It's your favorite, Ranma. Curry."
	"Wow. Thanks," Ranma replied happily, not 
knowing what else to say. He was having trouble tearing his 
eyes away from Akane and murmurred, "You look really 
great..."
	"Thanks," Akane blushed,
	"Well, eat up, Ranma." She urged him, watching 
him intently.
	"Sure!" he said transferring generous portions of rice 
and curry onto his plate. Ranma eagerly shoveled the food 
into his mouth before his eyes suddenly watered, his face 
turned red and his expression turned to one of horror...
	Akane face was a mask of concern as she asked, 
"What's wrong?"
	Saotome managed to squeak out, "Water... it's too 
hot..!"
	She sighed as she passed him a pitcher of water , the 
contents of which he gulped down hurriedly, steam rising 
slowly from his mouth, "Honestly, Ranma you could have 
waited for it to cool you know."
	Ranma breathed out the last of the steam as he 
finished the water, "Akane-chan that was definitely worth 
getting burned for..."
	He proceeded to eat more of the meal, this time at a 
more sedate pace to allow it to cool, "Best I've had in years..."
	Akane heaved a sigh of relief, "I was so worried. 
This is sort of an apology for this morning..."
	Ranma looked up from his meal and looked into 
Akane's eyes, "Akane..."
	"I'm sorry I hit you. You were asleep and didn't 
know what you were doing. And breakfast wasn't all that 
grea..."
	Ranma laughed lightly, cutting her off, "Don't worry 
about breakfast. I know about Ranko sabotaging it."
	Akane asked, puzzled, "Ranko..? What does Ranko 
have to do with anything?"
	"Well, its obvious," said Ranma, wiping his mouth 
on the table napkin, "If you compare that awful mess you 
served for breakfast and this great spread..."
	"'Awful mess'?" Akane asked furiously.
	"Yeah. I mean, food can't possibly taste that bad 
unless someone intentionally does it that way. I mean, no one 
cooks that bad... The cockroaches wouldn't touch that junk..." 
Ranma plunged on, heedless.
	Akane was glowing slightly and thunder was rolling 
in the distance. She reached under the table for the familiar 
handle of her hammer. She gripped it tightly as her erstwhile 
boyfriend continued on about the faults of breakfast. 
	"... and furthermore..." Ranma suddenly cut himself 
off when he realized Akane was already growling mildly and 
staring daggers at him, "Um... What's wrong Akane? There's 
no need to go chasing Ranko now... I mean we're finally 
having a nice quiet dinner... together," he added after a pause, 
"Why are you looking at me like that..?"
	Akane furiously reminded herself again and again 
must keep my temper in check... must stay calm... must stay 
calm... her aura guttered out eventually and she seemed to 
collapse a little. She sighed heavily, "Ranma. Ranko didn't 
have anything to do with breakfast I made it all myself."
	Ranma facefaulted and stared at the terrific curry 
he'd been demolishing, "Um... waitasecond... you cooked 
THAT..? and you cooked THIS?" his mind refused to grasp 
the concept, "Um... maybe you're just not a breakfast making 
type cook?" he tried.
	"It's okay. I know I'm not a very good cook. You 
don't have to lie..."
	"But this curry is great!" replied Ranma.
	"I had help," Akane replied reluctantly.
	"Oh."
	"I just wanted to be able to cook for you... You 
know... like Ukyou can. Like practically every other woman 
who's after you..."
	Ranma couldn't help but smile, "Thanks, Akane-
chan... but it's okay. I mean, if you can't cook."
	"Ranma..."
	"So what if they can cook," he added softly, "I mean, 
I'd rather be with you than them..."
	They both blushed.
	There was an awkward pause for a moment before 
they spoke up at the same time.
	"Hey, why not have..."
	"Here, have some mo..."
	"You first," Akane said, now smiling.
	"Well, you may as well have some too, Akane-chan. 
You probably missed breakfast again. We can't spend all of 
our meals with you just watching me eat."
	Akane flushed, "I was not watching you eat, you 
egotistical jerk!"
	"Yes, you were!" Ranma shot back.
	"Why do I bother with you?" Akane asked without 
much anger.
	Ranma shrugged and smiled as he spooned some 
curry onto her plate, "Because you don't have a choice."
	"True," Akane conceded, taking the plate, "But 
you're still a perverted egotistical jerk who tries to grope 
goddesses in the morning."
	"I did not try to grope you!"
	"Did too!"
	"Did not!"
	Akane gave him a wicked grin and said suddenly, 
"Next time try it when I'm ready."
	Ranma blinked and blushed... she absolutely took his 
breath away when she smiled like that. He smiled back, "I just 
might."
	"Good," she said taking a mouthful of curry, "Hey, 
this is good..."
	Ranma nodded in agreement.
	"Stupid tomboy goddess with a hammer," Ranma 
said lightly, smiling.
	"Sex-changing lecher," she answered mildly.
	"As long as we have that clear," Ranma responded 
around a mouthful of curry.

	Ukyou watched the two of them from the kitchen and 
finally heaved a sigh of relief. The both of them were both so 
high spirited she was worried if it would ever work out 
between them. She had to admit... it did hurt a little to hear 
him say that he'd rather be with Akane than anyone else... 
even her... but she already knew he was in love with her. 
Even if the dumb jackass can't admit it to himself.
	Akane and Ukyou had spent the morning together. 
Which was plenty of fun, she had to admit. Akane was good 
company. When they'd finished with their groceries, Ukyou 
had finally managed to wheedle the entire story out of Akane. 
The girl was a hopeless romantic, Ukyou mused, but she had 
the right idea. Once she'd found out about Akane's planned 
dinner, she'd insisted that they go shopping and Akane make 
a quick visit to a parlor. She hadn't let her hair down in quite 
a while, literally. It had cost a bit... but Ukyou could certainly 
afford it. The restaurant was doing pretty well after all. And it 
wasn't like she had anything else to spend her money on, 
except the restaurant.
	She looked down at herself and smiled faintly. 
Akane had insisted that she get a dress too... it had been quite 
a few years since she'd worn one. Or a bra for that matter. 
She had to admit, though, it did look pretty good on her when 
she was trying it out back at the store. She laughed quietly to 
herself as she peeked out at the two lovebirds again. Akane 
was now feeding Ranma some curry from her plate and 
Ranma was doing the same from his... they looked so sweet 
together she mused, even as she felt the knife twist deeper 
into her heart.
	She shook her head at her best friend as she began 
cleaning up the mess she and Akane had made of the kitchen 
in an effort to distract herself. She was careful not to make 
any noise, as Akane didn't want Ranchan to know that she 
was there. Ukyou was utterly amazed at Akane's utter lack of 
skill when it came to the culinary arts. The woman couldn't 
even boil water properly. It was amazing. It took the better 
part of the afternoon for Ukyou to help Akane whip a single 
meal into anything even remotely resembling something 
edible. Truth be told, that curry had started its life as an 
attempt at sukiyaki. Thank goodness for Ranchan's appetite, 
Ukyou added silently.
	A weary voice called out as someone burst through 
the back door, "Is this the Greenwood Dojo?"
	Ukyou recognized the voice instantly and rushed to 
meet the owner... it was Ryoga.
	She clubbed him over the head with a frying pan and 
said to him, "Quiet, you jerk!"
	Ryoga looked at her with surprise, "Ucchan? What 
are you doing here?"
	"ME? What are you doing here?!" she asked in a 
fierce whisper.
	"Isn't this the dojo?"
	"No, you moron! This is the temple where Ranma 
lives!"
	"Ranma lives in a temple?" Ryoga asked.
	She nodded.
	Ryoga's face darkened, "You're staying with Ranma 
again?! He just moved out of your restaurant and now you've 
moved in with him?! Is this why Akane left him?!"
	She whapped him over the head with the frying pan 
again, "No, you idiot! I'm trying to help Akane! And keep 
your voice down!"
	"Okay," he finally whispered back crossly , rubbing 
his head gingerly where she'd hit him.
	Something Ryoga said finally registered to Ukyou 
and she whirled on him suddenly, brandishing the frying pan 
in a threatening manner, "What do you mean Akane left 
Ranma?!" she asked in a raised voice.
	"I thought you said we had to keep quiet?" whispered 
Ryoga.
	She sighed as she dragged the eternally lost man 
with her to the kitchen, "Yeah, yeah... keep quiet... I am not 
going to let you ruin this for them."
	"Ruin what?!" Ryoga asked sharply, feeling as if he 
had just walked into the movie a few minutes late and no one 
would tell him what had happened.
	"Dinner. Now just shut up would you?"
	"Okay..."
	Ukyou fumed, "I swear, Ryoga... you ruin this I'll 
never forgive you."
	Ryoga blinked and replied, "Does that mean you 
forgive me already for the wedding?"
	She shot him a cold look which shut him up 
immediately, "No. You've got a lot you haven't been forgiven 
for."
	"Um... right," Ryoga muttered sheepishly. Ryoga 
glanced at Ukyou and tentatively said, "You look... very nice, 
Ucchan."
	Ukyou merely glared at him, "I have nothing to say 
to you."
	"But..."
	"Ryoga," she replied tightly, "The only reason I 
haven't kicked your sorry behind out of here is because you'd 
probably get lost again... probably end up breaking some 
other poor girl's heart."
	Ryoga had no response to that.
	She sighed and looked him directly in the face, 
Ranma and Akane momentarily forgotten. She was amazed at 
how difficult it was to stay angry at him. She noticed that he 
had that look on his face again... it was so pathetic and utterly 
adorable at the same time that she couldn't help it...
	"So you know about my bad sense of---"
	"Of course I know, but it still doesn't change the 
facts..."
	Desperate to keep her anger burning she asked him 
sharply, "How could you get lost to your own wedding?"
	"It was pretty easy..." Ryoga replied, rubbing the 
back of his head and blushing.
	 "It... was... pretty... easy?!" she mocked him angrily, 
raising her voice. She focused her rage again. She knew 
exactly why she hated Ryoga Hibiki...
	"Hey, quiet remember?" said Ryoga pleadingly.
	"Don't you 'quiet' me, you stupid pig! How dare 
you..?! Not only do you humiliate me, ruin my life, abandon 
me... you've got the nerve to stand there and tell me it was 
easy?!!"
	"I meant getting lost is easy for me! Don't you think 
it was tough for me too? Do you have any idea how many 
miles I trudged looking for you?!"
	"How many?" Ukyou heatedly dared him to tell her. 
	"I've got no idea either, but there were a lot!"
	Ukyou couldn't help it and burst out in giggles, her 
anger draining away from her with each fresh burst of 
laughter. Ryoga looked puzzled for a moment then joined her 
easy laughter. She tried to shush him, but was barely able to 
keep from laughing herself... by the time they'd both managed 
to regain their composure, Ukyou had tears in her eyes...
	"I knew there was reason why I fell in love with 
you..." she said, still giggling, not even realizing that she had 
said it.
	Ryoga's face suddenly turned serious again as he 
knelt in front of Ukyou, "Uk... Ukyou... will you marry me? 
This time I promise to do it right. I won't leave the dorm 
alone and I'll have someone bring me to the..."
	Ukyou sobered up immediately and faced Ryoga, 
surprise evident on her face. She said to him, "My God... you 
really mean that, don't you? We haven't seen each other for 
three years and you think just like that," she snapped her 
fingers, "Hey, wow, everything's fine..?"
	She crossed her arms across her chest and looked at 
him, not as cold now as before, in truth, almost 
sympathetically, "Wake up, Ryoga. I still haven't forgiven you 
for leaving me. Maybe I never will. We've both changed... I'm 
not that starry eyed school girl who got swept off her feet. 
Maybe I don't want to marry you anymore, did you think of 
that?"
	Ryoga gulped nervously, "Yeah... but... 
	 "The point is, Ryoga, we're different people now. I 
don't want to marry you. Give me enough time and plenty of 
good behavior on your part, and I might... I repeat might, 
start to think of you as a friend again... but I'm not making 
the same mistake twice. We are not getting married."
	Ryoga's face looked resolved as he picked himself up 
off his knees, "I can live with that... I guess... for now."
	Ukyou replied, in a sweet mocking tone, "What's that 
supposed to mean?"
	"I'll change your mind yet, Ucchan. Just you wait."
	Ukyou looked at him and said softly, "I don't think 
so."
	She turned away from Ryoga momentarily to glance 
at Ranma and Akane through the doorway. The pair were 
chatting amiably and didn't seem to have noticed anything... 
she smiled vaguely in their direction and felt a tear trace its 
way down her cheek. She didn't know if she was crying 
because she was lying to Ryoga... or she was crying for 
Ranma...
	She wiped the tear on the back of one hand and 
turned to look Ryoga straight in the eye, "Oh yeah... one last 
thing."
	"What?" Ryoga asked.
	She suddenly grabbed him by the front of his shirt 
and dragged him towards her and cinched him in a tight 
embrace. She whispered into his chest, "I missed you, you 
stupid fool."
	Ryoga returned the hug and murmured, "Me too..."

	In another part of town... events were forming 
themselves into a storm which would no doubt have grave 
consequences in the future. An elegant man stood on the 
balcony of his mansion, sharing the beautiful view of the city 
with his female companion. The soft light shining behind 
them obscured their faces, leaving only vague silhouettes. 
They spoke softly, their exchange nonetheless charged with 
emotion despite the calm seeming.
	"Ah, but why can you not, my goddess? Would such 
a thing not be simplicity itself?" the man asked heatedly.
	The woman looked at him sadly, "Alas, my Darling, 
it is not. For I cannot leave him."
	The man's face, still obscured by the dark twisted 
itself into a disgusted grimace, "He has you under his thrall as 
well... that wretched cur will surely break your heart as 
certainly as he has littered the very streets of this fair city 
with the love of women who have come to him. 
	"It isn't a matter of my heart being broken by him. I 
do not fear that." she said truthfully, tears in her eyes, "I am 
bound to him by fetters far stronger than even my love for 
you. He refuses to release me..."
"I had thought that perhaps he had given up his evil ways and 
chosen to place himself upon the true and righteous path of 
the virtuous, yet you say, even now he refuses to let you go? 
You, who are so close to his own intended?"
"He has neither mercy nor shame," she murmured, "... the 
horrors I must endure each day, so far removed from my true 
life..."
	The man replied furiously, "Then I shall challenge 
him for the right to you! I shall force this evil disgrace upon 
the face of humanity and enemy of all women to release you 
from your bondage! I swear this to you my pig tailed goddess!
	She looked up at him, her eyes shining in the 
starlight as she gazed adoringly up at him, "Oh, my love... 
you would do this for me?"
	"As certainly as the sun rises in the east," he replied, 
setting his jaw and raising a fist to the heavens, as though 
daring the gods themselves to challenge his word, "I shall 
smite this base fiend and free you from his foul clutches for 
now and for all time! By his defeat, you shall be freed!"
	She drew him into a passionate kiss as an amused, 
but unspoken thought passed through her mind, "What a sap. 
I've got you now, Saotome."