This  is  something  a little different from the  other  crossovers you've no doubt seen. I've tried to catch the spirit of both worlds without making it too much like one or the other. Despite the names
shared by these characters with their originals, the characters may not necessarily act the way their namesakes would. Keep it in mind. I've tried to make it a bit more mature, but still keeping a bit of
absurdity to keep things interesting. Also keep in mind that there are quite a number of cameos from various sources. Spot them all and win a prize! (Not cash, sorry...) Please send C&C and any suggestions on the story to ebon@i-manila.com.ph.  

Standard   fanfic   disclaimer  averring  that   all   characters, situations,  places and events with even a vague  resemblance  to the  work of Rumiko Takahashi, Fujishima Kosuke's, CLAMP, whoever did Koko  wa  Greenwood or any one of a number of works, probably was borrowed in  the  first  place. Apologies  to  all. Rights are to whoever owns them. Don't bother to sue, though. I'm broke.


I hereby present, for the reader's perusal:
        Sore wa Nibunoichi Megami-sama.
        (That's 1/2 My Goddess.)
        A Ranma 1/2 - Oh! My Goddess semi-crossover fanfic by Scriviner

PART I: Of Things Free and Unwished For

             Just  a  short distance away from the campus of  the  Nekomi Institute of Technology was the Greenwood Dorm and Dojo. It was a generally quiet little  place in a  generally quiet little     neighborhood. Most of the time. 
             The thing is, you see, the Greenwood D & D was a men's dorm. Not only  that... it was the dorm of used by the N.I.T. Martial  Arts Varsity  team. The place where  most of the school's best fighters ended up.  As  a result, a lot of  the students who  lived  here  were  healthy strapping men of action, little given to introspection or peaceful contemplation. In simple terms  this meant lots of big, strong martial artists with short tempers and a  knack for causing  plenty  of  property  damage. Greenwood was well loved by the local building  contractors  for their  contributions  to  the local economy and much hated by insurance companies for the constant damage the place kept sustaining.  This was probably the only dormitory in  town  which had a policy covering incidental obscure weaponry damage (including the  infamous bandanna, umbrella, broom  and  toilet-training potty subclauses), Chi strikes, and incidental furniture damage  by  hurling. As things stood now!
, it  looked  like  their rates were going to go up once more. They were at it again. Three of  the dorm's residents were running down the main hall  to the dojo. To put things more precisely, two of  the  men were chasing a third. That was Ranma Saotome. This sort of thing was generally a prelude to trouble. 
	Ranma  was  already  breathing hard as his  two  dorm  mates chased  him.  He was a handsome young man in his early  twenties dressed  in a red Chinese shirt and some comfortable  pants. His hair, which was pulled back into a short braid, bounced back  and forth  as  he ducked and dodged the  various  bandannas,  knives, yoyos and furniture that were being lobbed in his direction.
	Aside  from his two pursuers Ranma had an  unusual  problem. Women. They loved him. They really, really loved him. He had  his own fan club and everything.
	It  wasn't  as  if he did anything  to  encourage  them.  If anything, he actively tried to discourage them. It didn't work, of course. They still popped up in the hallways and in his classes, giving  him gifts, love letters, inviting him to dinner,  dropped by  the dorm on the flimsiest of excuses. Another man might  have settled  back and just enjoyed it, Mikado Sanzenin of the  combat skating team came to mind, but Ranma vehemently disliked it. 
	He  didn't  dislike the girls personally or the food  (his father  had raised him to never turn down anything free) but all of the attention tended to be distracting during training. Also, there were only so many jealous boyfriends, irate brothers, and angry  fathers a man could take at one time. His dorm mates didn't like it all that much either. They claimed that their own  training  was starting  to suffer because of all the distractions caused by Saotome's  fans.  Actually, they were mostly just jealous.
	They finally managed to corner him in the dojo. 
	"Nowhere  to run, Saotome. Give up now and we might go  easy on you," said one of the men.
"Maybe..." said the other ominously cracking his knuckles.
	"No way, man!" said Ranma defiantly.
	The fellow he addressed was an impressively muscled, heavy set man dressed in a brown shirt with torn sleeves and an old pair of beige  jeans.  He had a tiger striped bandanna to  hold  back  his shock of black hair. His face was currently twisted into a scowl. This was Ryoga Hibiki. He was not happy. He was  rarely  happy. The true reasons for which may become clearer at a later date, but as far as he was concerned, there was only one consistent source  of his aggravation and he was currently shouting at it,  "Ranma!  I told you already! It's your turn to stay and watch the dorm!" 
	The  other  man,  taller than  Ryoga and  with  a  far  more slender  build nodded in agreement. He was wearing a  long  white overcoat  and a pair of ridiculously thick glasses. He was good looking in an oddly predatory manner and had  long  black  hair which  fell  straight  to the small of his back. His arms  were folded  across  his chest as he sent a look  of  amused  contempt towards Ranma. This was Mousse, a Chinese exchange student and one of  Ranma's dormmates. He noted in calm tones, "Hibiki is right,  Saotome.  you've been  going  out every night with your women for the  past  three weeks,  leaving us with the duty of watching over the  dorm.  You are the only one who has not completed his dorm sitting obligation in  over a  month..." he continued even as he took a moment to  clean  his glasses  on the cuff of his sleeve, "... it is only fitting  that this  entire week be yours, eh?" As he slipped his  glasses  back on, Mousse realized with some small measure of em!
barrassment that he  was now talking to the punching bag. The other two  tactfully avoided any comment.
	"Aw, c'mon you guys! They aren't MY women and it's not  like I  ask them out, or anything..." began Ranma, "They're  the  ones chasing me--"
	"That  makes  it worse!" Ryoga interrupted, "They  waltz  in here and drag you out to the movies or dinner even in the  middle of training sessions, it's getting embarrassing, Ranma! All those girls  chasing  you..."  Ryoga's hands had  already  balled  into fists.
	"Even  when  you're supposed to be guarding  the  dojo,  you manage to sneak a girl or two in by the time we get back. it just isn't done..." Mousse added disapprovingly.
	"I don't sneak them in, they sneak in on their own..." Ranma replied, "Ahh... You guys are just jealous," he added under his breath.
	"What was that, Saotome?" asked Mousse in low and  dangerous tones.
	Ryoga took it a little more personally, roaring, "That  does it, Saotome! I've had enough of you, you arrogant little--" 
	Ryoga  leapt  into  the air sending a  flurry  of  bandannas ripping  straight at Ranma's head. Ranma managed to jump  to  one side  in order to avoid the bandannas leaving them to embed  into the Dojo's floor. Mousse, with exquisite timing stepped back  and released  a  storm  of  chains,  ropes  and  various  other  less identifiable things from the sleeves of his overcoat. Ranma,  who had  left  himself  open while avoiding the  bandannas  was  soon wrapped  tight  in  steel  and string.  He  fell  to  the  ground struggling to break free of his bonds.
	Ryoga landed with a little smile on his lips, "Now, Ranma... we're sure you'll be staying your shift."
	"I'll get you guys for this!!" 
	"No doubt you'll try, Saotome. We'll be back in a few hours. Make sure to take any messages and to clean up while we're gone," said  Mousse, turning his back on Ranma and walking  purposefully towards  the  door. He was smiling as he flipped his  glasses  up onto his head.
	"Hey, at least let me out of these chains first you guys!!"
	Ryoga walked with Mousse towards the dojo's door and cracked his  knuckles, "You can get out of those on your own,  Ranma.  Oh yeah..." Ryoga said turning to look at Ranma again, a broad smile on his face, "Mousse and I already talked to the dorm  manager... If  anybody catches another of your girls in here, you are  going to  get  kicked  out of this dorm. No  more  violations  will  be tolerated."
	"But I don't help them sneak in, you stupid jerks!"
	"That's  what you say," replied Mousse cynically then  added in  an  amused  tone,  "Try not to scratch  the  floor  too  much squirming around, Saotome."
	Ryoga  and  Mousse laughed as they walked out of  the  dojo, interrupted  only briefly by Mousse running face first  into  the wall next to the door.
	"Dumb  jerks..."  muttered Ranma to himself  as  he  started snapping  the chains one after another. Half an hour later,  only his  ankles  were still bound when the phone in the  common  room suddenly rang.
	"Oh  great," Ranma muttered to himself as he  half  bounced, half stumbled out of the dojo, "I wonder who that is?"
	"Hello?" Ranma asked into the phone's receiver.
	"Hello, sir, " said a soft woman's voice on the other end of the line, "This is the Goddess Relief Office, we will be  sending our representative there shortly. Please stand by..." 
	"Hey,  who  is  this--"  Ranma  managed  to  blurt,   before realizing that he was talking to the dial tone.
	Ranma  frowned  at the phone. He was used to  strange  women calling him and leaving odd messages, but this was a new one.  He shrugged it off as just another girl trying to get his attention. He'd  had  enough of that. He stretched a little and  decided  to take a little soak to relax himself.
	As  he walked to the bath Ranma was actually glad the  Ryoga and Mousse had saddled him with dorm sitting duty. With Shinosuke, Konatsu and Tarou in the country for the semestral break, and Gosunkugi  at another of his Dark Ritual of Summoning Meetings, Ranma had the dorm all to himself. Provided none of  his would be self-appointed girlfriends showed up, he thought that he would  finally have a nice relaxing evening. A little  peace  and quiet  was precisely what he needed just now. Too bad  he  wasn't going to get any.
	Ranma  was sitting up in the hot bath with his eyes  closed, gently dozing. "Blessed silence at last," murmured Ranma just  as a sudden burst of light illuminated the bathroom.
	Ranma's eyes flew open to see a widening black circle on the surface  of  the water. Light seemed to be pouring out  from  the circle and energy crackled at its edges as it grew. Ranma blinked his  eyes, trying to get used to the light when he got the  vague impression  of a form rising from the circle. Suddenly the  light was gone and there she was.
	Long seconds passed as she stood over Ranma with her feet on the  opposite  sides of the tub, looking rather  shocked  at  his state  of dress (or undress). She was in a white outfit,  trimmed in  red  which looked vaguely like a short dress,  with  matching boots, gloves and jacket. Strapped to her back was a large, oddly mechanical  looking hammer also in red and white. Her long  black hair was drawn into a  ponytail, that reached to just  behind her knees. Ranma had just enough time to notice that despite  her surprised expression she was also rather cute... 
	Before  Ranma got a chance for a closer look, she'd  whipped the hammer off her back and brought it up over her head with both hands,  in an attack position. She screamed, "You  pervert!!"  as she brought the hammer down on Ranma's head. 
	Ranma's  reflexes  barely saved him as he ducked  under  the water and surfaced behind her. Her hammer crashed into the water, missing him by inches and slammed into the tub's floor,  cracking it. Half of the water in the tub was sent splashing out onto  the bathroom floor.
	"Hey stop that you idiot!" shouted Ranma at the girl.
	Realizing  that  this pervert was now behind her,  the  girl tore the mallet loose from the floor, whirled around swinging the mallet  in a wide flat arc. Dripping wet and rather naked,  Ranma jumped  onto the hammer, and vaulting from it,  launched  himself across the room towards the towel rack. Ranma's unexpected weight on  the hammer made the girl lose her grip. Undeterred, the  girl jumped  at Ranma from her position on the side of the tub,  ready to pound him to oblivion, with or without her weapon.
	Ranma managed to grab one of the towels off the rack as  the girl closed in. Ranma tried to simultaneously dodge the girl, tie the  towel  around his waist and run for the  bathroom  door.  He would have made it too, if only the floor hadn't been so wet.
	With a cry of "Who's an idiot, you  pervert?!" the  girl rushed Ranma. 
	He  managed  to neatly sidestep her blow as he tucked  in  a corner of the towel. He took another step toward the door as  the girl  suddenly  changed tactics and whirled around  to  drive  an elbow  into his gut. Ranma slipped suddenly on the wet floor  and struck the girl's elbow with his nose. Hard. Her blow sent  him flying  into  the opposite wall. He stuck to the wall for  a  few seconds  before  sliding off and leaving a shallow  Ranma  shaped impression in the shattered tiles of the wall.
	"What's  going  onnnnn..?"  Ranma  managed  to  say   before slipping into unconsciousness.
	The  girl  seemed  to calm down as  she  realized  that  the pervert was now out cold. 
	"Serves  him right," she muttered. She took a good  look  at him,  now sprawled on the floor, and a look of  confusion  passed across her eyes suddenly followed by horror. She murmured  aloud, suddenly appalled, "Oh no... was that the client?"

	Meanwhile,  one floor up and a few doors down the hall  from the bathroom, was Hikaru Gosunkugi's room. It vaguely resembled a cross  between NASA mission control and an occult  antique  shop. 
	While it wasn't unheard of for some of Gosunkugi's stuff to glow, that  was  usually because he'd spilled luminescent paint on it by accident. One of his numerous  pieces  of camera equipment suddenly began to glow, without apparent cause. Much as Gosunkugi would have liked to believe it, that wasn't normal.
	The  diffuse  light  coalesced slowly and  began  to  gather itself  about  the camera's lens. The light collapsed on  itself creating  a  tiny pinpoint on the lens through  which  a beautiful  redheaded  young woman  suddenly,  impossibly  stepped through.  She  looked  around her in confusion  and  called  out, "Hello? Anybody home?"

	Ranma was in his room as he woke up slowly. He'd just had an awful nightmare where he was being chased by this mad woman  with a  mallet. It took a moment for him to realize that he was  still dressed only in a towel and that he was not alone.
	The girl from his dream was sitting next to him on the  bed, the immense hammer now strapped to her back once more. She smiled tentatively at him. Up close he could see that she had some  sort of odd triangular markings on her forehead and at the corners  of her eyes and she wasn't much younger than he was. 
	Ranma  winced as he felt his nose, "You're not going to  hit me again, are you?"
	"I'm  really  sorry about that, Saotome-san...  this  is  my first job in the field and I was a little nervous."
	"How do you know my name?"
	"We're supposed to know all about our clients, Saotome-san."
	Clients? thought Ranma to himself.
"Clients  of the Goddess Relief Office," she clarified.
	Ranma  sat up, "What are you talking about? Was that you  on the  phone a while ago?" he asked, remembering the strange  phone call. 
The  girl  looked as though she were about  to  answer  when something  else occurred to him, "How the heck did you  get  into the  bathroom?  What  were you doing in  there?"  then  added  to himself quietly, "No, wait... I know what she was doing in there, she were trying to smash me to a pulp..."
	"For which I'm really sorry Saotome-san," she said answering his unspoken thought, "Let me introduce myself first, I am Akane Tendo, Goddess of Conflicts 1st class, 2nd category, limited license..." she said with a bow.
	"A  goddess..." said Ranma skeptically, "Yeah.  Right.  Pull the other one."
	"... and I am here to give you one wish. Nearly any wish you could want," Akane continued brightly.
	"Very  original..." said Ranma looking annoyed, "You're  the most creative girl who's tried to sneak in here so far."
"I beg your pardon?" asked Akane, confused.

	The redhead was having a little trouble finding her  client. She was quite certain that he would be in the building at  least, but  so  far she had not had much luck. She'd found a  couple  of risque  magazines,  a cell phone, an unopened can of soda  and  a walkman... but nothing much client-wise.
	She  was  a little short, but not that it  really  mattered, since she was floating a couple of inches off the ground  anyway. She  was very attractive possessing a certain  delicate  feminine charm. Her shock of long red hair was in a braid which reached to her  waist. Her clothes consisted of a multilayered  ensemble  of white  and purple which seemed to shift as she walked.  Her  blue eyes  betrayed confusion as she peeked into each of the rooms  in turn. So far, still nothing. No matter... she'd find this Saotome person  eventually, she thought to herself as she passed  through the door of another locked room. 

	"Original,"  continued Ranma, "I mean most of the girls  who come  here  just  drop off candy or food or special free pizza deliveries, or something." 
	"What are you talking about?" she said her brow furrowing as she seemed to understand something, "You think I'm here because I like you!?!" she started to laugh.
	It was now Ranma's turn to be confused. "What's so funny?"
	"Its just that I've never seen such a large ego on a  mortal before..!"  she  replied  before breaking  into  fresh  gusts  of laughter.
	"Large ego?!" Ranma replied, incensed, "What would you know, you uncute girl!"
	Akane,  suddenly frowned at him in mid laugh, "What did  you call me?!"
	"Uncute!" Ranma replied without thinking, as was his wont.
	"I  thought so..." she said as she pulled a  smaller  mallet from somewhere inside her jacket and walloped Ranma to the floor.
	"Now..."  she said taking a moment to put away  the  smaller hammer, "Who were you calling uncute, Saotome-san?" said Akane to Ranma who had been knocked to the floor.
	Ranma put a hand to his head as he got back on the bed.  His ears  were  still ringing from that unexpected blow.  She  wasn't acting like one of the girls who normally had a crush on him,  he thought  to  himself. Usually those girls did their  violence  to each other, not to him... it was usually the angry boyfriends  he had to worry about...
	"Precisely, Saotome-san." said Akane smugly. "I don't have a crush  on  you," she seemed to find something  immensely  amusing about the concept.
	"Wait  a  minute. I just realized something...  you've  been answering my questions--"
	"...  before  you   say  them.  For  the  duration  of   our interview, I am allowed to read your thoughts in order to  better anticipate your every need."
	"You're reading my mind?" he asked.
	"Not entirely... just your surface thoughts." she smiled.
	"Okay  so  what  am I thinking  now?"  Ranma  asked,  trying to think about onigiri, but somehow unable to keep his thoughts of how cute she looked out  of  his head... 
	Akane  blushed  a  little, and smiled,  "Er...  thanks.  I'm flattered."
	"About onigiri?" asked Ranma, puzzled.
	"No... you were thinking about how... er... cute I... um..." Akane continued, blushing. 
	Ranma's  eyes bugged out a little. "So... um... You're  sure you're not... er... You mean you're not another of my... erhm..." asked Ranma, now rather embarrassed.
	Akane  sobered enough to supply the word, "...groupies?  No, not  at  all," she smiled at him again. Ranma couldn't  help  but smile  back. She was just so cute. "I told you, Saotome-san,  I'm here to give you your wish."
	"Could you just call me Ranma, please...  Akane, right?"
	"Okay."
	"So let me get this straight... a wish?"
	"Mmm-hm. One wish." Akane said holding up one finger.
	"So  what  can  I wish for? Can I wish  to  have  the  world destroyed?"
	"Actually, you could, but we don't like to do business  with that  kind  of  client. That's why  there's  a  strict  screening process."
             "So why me?"
	Akane just shrugged. "You fit the criterion."
	Ranma  felt  oddly flattered by that, "So I  could  ask  for anything, short of world destruction?"
"Pretty much."
	"Hmm...  I have to think about this..." he muttered  quietly to  himself,  "World  domination..? Nah...  richest  man  in  the world..? Nah... world's best martial artist..? nah..." 
	Ranma's  head suddenly snapped up as he realized  something.
"What time is it?"
	"Nearly  ten thirty," Akane replied, mentally  checking  the time, "Why?"
	"You've got to get out of here!" said Ranma, panic rising in his  voice,  "My  dorm mates are arriving  soon,  if  they  catch another  girl in here because of me, I'm going to get kicked  out of here!"
	"Well then you'd better make your wish fast, then..."
	"I'm too worried to make a wish! I could wish for the  wrong thing  and  totally  ruin  my life forever!  I  don't  need  this aggravation!"
	"Well...  what if we leave for a while, so they don't  catch me here?"
	"I  can't leave, I have to stay here until they come  home," Ranma  said,  every so often cocking his ears to  check  for  the approach  of  Ryoga and Mousse, "Argh... Please...  don't  bother with the wish, just get out of here? I have enough problems,  I'd rather not worry about you and a wish too..."
	"You're turning down your wish?" Akane asked, shocked.  "You can't  do  that! No one's done that in centuries!" she  was  also beginning to feel a rising tide of panic and depression, "It's me isn't it? Just because this is my first assignment you're picking on me..." tears were beginning to leak out of the corners of  her eyes.
	"Argh..! That's not what I said! It's just that you have  to leave  now, otherwise I'll be in really deep trouble...  but  its not  your  fault...  but  I'd rather  not  worry  you...  Do  you understand?"   he said, now concerned with both himself  and  her and the possibility of imminent arrivals.
Akane  stood up and turned towards the door,  "Fine...  I'll just go back up to heaven... a failure..." she wiped her tears on the back of her hand.
	She  was already out the door and storming to the  bathroom, down the hall before Ranma was able to catch up with her.

	A  few  doors down and around the corner,  the  redhead  was getting bored looking for her client. She was taking a break. She was  stretched out on Ryoga's bed, reading one of his  magazines, drinking the soda she'd found all the while listening to music on the  old walkman. She was a little annoyed at the  thing  too. There  was something wrong with the volume control,  because  the sound  kept getting suddenly loud, then quiet, then loud. It  was starting to get on her nerves.
	Despite  the  walkman, however, she was certain  that  she'd heard  a  noise... maybe that would be Saotome. With  a  resigned sigh, she got off the bed and drifted out into the corridor,  not bothering  to remove the head phones. That right there was a  big mistake.

	"Look, Akane..." he said, tentatively putting a hand on  her shoulder, "It's not you... girls have been after me and bothering me for most of my life. You're one of the few women I've actually been able to have a decent conversation with, even though we just met  today... and you don't necessarily count as a woman  because you're a goddess... and... er... um..."
	Akane  looked up at him, somewhat confused by his  babbling. She  could  feel concern coming from him which made her  smile  a little, "Okay. I think."
	"That's  better. Its just that I don't want either of us  to get in trouble... do you have to grant a wish?"
	"Well... not really, wishes have been refused before without penalty.  It's  just a little embarrassing for me to come back without having granted it. Do you really want me to go?"
	"Well, I enjoyed your company... um... and I don't want  you to  go as such... it's just... I don't really want the  problems, you understand..? What if I give the wish to you?"
	Akane glanced downwards momentarily, "I'm a Goddess... we're not allowed to make wishes for ourselves..."
	"Oh. Um... er... Okay. So I can't give it to you..."
	Akane's eyes were dry now, "All right,  I  understand.  The wish can be returned to Heaven without  problems," she favored him with a small smile, "I guess I'm  not surprised the Yggradsil system picked you to receive a wish."
	"Thanks," Ranma replied rubbing the back of his head with a hand, blushing faintly.
	"I'd better go now before you get into any trouble..." Akane said.
	"Well... will you be able to come back? I mean... when I don't have to worry about my dorm mates? Just to talk? Or something?" Ranma was quietly railing at the injustice of it all... he'd finally found a girl he liked ... unfortunately she was a Goddess...
	Akane shook her head sadly, "We're not really allowed on Earth during our off duty hours..."
	"Well,  if it's any consolation for you... if I had to spend all  my time with a girl anyway,  I wish I could be with a girl like you."

	The redhead turned the corner, and there he was! Her client! He  was  talking to some other girl... probably a  girlfriend  or something, she thought. He was cutie, mused the redhead...   With some fumbling she tried to adjusted the volume on the Walkman.
	She barely managed to catch him saying the words "...I  wish I could be... a girl like you..."
	A  look  of shock crossed her face as she  heard  this.  The marking  on her forehead suddenly flared with brilliant light  as she rose into the air. 

	Akane  was  taken by surprise by  Ranma's  statement...  but there  it  was  a clearly stated. The  marking  on  her  forehead suddenly  flared  with  a brilliant light as  she  rose  off  the ground. 
	Ranma  staggered back as Akane was enveloped suddenly  in  a glowing  column of white light which reached through the  ceiling and  into  the  heavens. Behind him  another  eruption  of  light occurred  and  as he turned to look, he saw a  beautiful  redhead similarly cocooned in light. 
	Within moments the effect had subsided, allowing both  women float  gently back to the ground. With a single  quavering  voice the two women said, "Your wish is granted."
	There  was  a brief moment of silence before the  two  women noticed  each  other and everybody started talking  at  the  same time.
	"Ranko!?" roared Akane at the redhead.
	"Akane?!" said the redhead, just as surprised.
	"Will somebody tell me what's going on?" said Ranma to both.
	"What are you doing here?"
	"Me?! What are you doing here?"
	"It  was my turn on the duty roster, you idiot!" Ranko  said floating in Akane's direction.
	"Your turn was last week! He's my client!"
	"It was for today! I already granted him his wish!"
	"My wish? What wish?" asked Ranma, now utterly confused.
	"YOU?! I granted his wish you incompetent red headed  excuse for a goddess!"
	"Incompetent  am  I!?," Ranko said in  a  dangerous,  silken voice  as she drew back slightly. A glowing sphere was  beginning to form between her hands.
	"That's  right... Here, let me show you how  incompetent..." replied Akane pulling her hammer out of its holster. She gave the head  a  slight quarter twist and it began to hum in  an  ominous tone.
	"Nobody's  going  to do anything to anyone until  I  get  an explanation!!" shouted Ranma at the top of his lungs.
	Ranko and Akane stopped in mid-threaten to look at him.
	"Alright.  Much  better. Now..." he said turning  to  Akane, "Who's she?"
	The  glowing  sphere Ranko was holding had  disappeared  and Akane  had put away her weapon as well. Both women crossed  their arms at the same time.
	"That's Ranko," replied Akane in a sullen tone.
	"Ranko, Goddess of Affection, first class, second  category, limited.  I'm  her  cousin,"  replied  Ranko,  in  a  tone  which indicated  she  wasn't  particularly happy  about  the  state  of affairs either.
	"Fine.  Much  better. Now what are you  doing  here  Ranko?" asked  Ranma, trying hard not to sound as if he were  talking  to children.
	"It  was my turn for the field assignment according  to  the duty  roster, but hammer girl over here," Ranko said  nodding  to Akane, "Must have misread the chart."
	"And  I  keep telling you that it's my  turn  today!"  Akane retorted sharply, getting ready to pull out the maligned mallet.
	"I don't care..." Ranma replied, now gritting his teeth,  he was  starting  to get a migraine. "Now... what was that  about  a wish?"
	"The Head Office granted your wish," said both women at  the same time. They glared at each other.
	"We can't have both granted him a wish, he's only authorized one!" said Ranko.
	"Wait... What wish?" asked Ranma, still rather lost in  this conversation, "I don't remember making a wish--"
	"Yes you did," Ranko interrupted, "It was rather  surprising I'll  give you that much. Nobody's asked for that in at  least  a couple of decades..."
	Akane  thought  for a moment then said, "We'd  better  check with  the  Head Office and clear this up," she turned  to  Ranma, "Can we use your phone?"
	"Sure...  just clear this up fast. The guys are probably  on their way back by now," Ranma sighed, "This way," he said leading them down the hall.
	"Okay,"  Akane  replied smiling at Ranma, "I'm  pretty  sure this  will  all  turn  out to  be  the  henna  haired  harridan's fault..." she added, jerking a thumb at Ranko.
	"Who  are  you  calling a harridan,  amateur?"  said  Ranko, incensed.
	"Amateur am I?" returned Akane through gritted teeth.
	"Cousins,"  muttered Ranma, to himself, "Of  course  they're cousins... some things must run in the family, I guess."
	"What  was  that, Saotome?" Ranko suddenly  asked  Ranma  in a silken voice. 
	"Erhm... nothing..." Ranma replied lamely.
	Akane  picked  the  phone up, frowning  all  the  while  and punched the buttons in an incredibly complex sequence.
	"Hello, yes," Akane said into the receiver, "This is  Akane, Sir...  There seems to be some sort of mix up here, Sir... Both contracts  are approved..? Is he getting his wish  twice  then..? What do you mean she sent up a different  wish..?  Different contracts..? Sir, why would my contract be worded like that?! Ranko's staying here too..?"
	"I'm WHAT?!?!" screamed Ranko, livid.
	"She's what?!" Ranma roared simultaneously.
	Akane continued to talk, "Yes, Sir, Ranko's still here. I'll put  her  on," she handed the phone to the redhead,  "Here...  He wants to talk to you."
	Ranko grabbed the receiver, "What do you mean I'm  staying?! I  sent  up the wish he wanted..! There has to be  some  sort  of mistake..!  What  do  you  mean I made  the  mistake..!?  He's  a what..?!"  she  added in low tones, "Oh boy... But if it  was  an invalid wish anyway why are we still enforcing the contract? What do you mean you don't know?! Er... sorry, Sir... Yes, Sir... Yes, Sir... I understand that's how it works, Sir... Good bye, Sir. ARGH!!!" Ranko slammed the phone back  onto its cradle.
	"Well?" asked Ranma expectantly.
	"Well... apparently you are receiving two wishes..." replied Ranko, nervously.
	"What wish are you talking about? I haven't even wished  for anything.  I was just about to send Akane back to Heaven without  giving  me the wish..."
	"Well..."  said  Akane fighting off a blush,  "You  sort  of wished  you  could spend the rest of your time with a girl like me... It was interpretted to mean you wanted to spend your time with... me."
	"I...  I... what?" sudden realization dawning on  his  face, "Oh..."
	"...and  now  we have a contract which  says  I will be your companion... for the rest of your life. Um... He told me the contract is... um... sort of worded like a formal betrothal." 
	Ranma  looked as though he were ready to faint,  "Betrothal!? Betrothal? But it's not really a betrothal is it?"
	"Um... there's no real need for us to marry or anything... it was just the wording," said Akane vaguely. Truth to tell... if she understood it correctly they were bound in such a way that was even closer than any normal marriage...
	"Okay... okay... " said Ranma, calming down slightly, "I think I can deal with that... what's this about another wish?"
	"Er..."  Ranko replied with obvious reluctance, "I  sort  of heard  you  saying that you... er wished you  could  be...  er... agrlykmi."
	"What was that? Slow down, Ranko, I didn't hear you.  Wished I could be what?"
	"Er... a girl like me."
	"THAT'S THE OTHER WISH!!!?!?!?" roared Ranma.
	"It's not my fault!" Ranko shot back.
	In  a fit of rage Ranma rushed forward and grabbed Ranko  by her arms, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WANTED TO BE A GIRL?!?!?"
	What  rather surprised him was the fact that his voice  came out  a few octaves higher. He also noticed rather belatedly  that he  was  now the same height as Ranko. Also... his  balance  felt distinctly...  odd. Eyes glazed in shock and not daring  to  look down,  Ranma's  hands moved to touch his chest.  Rounded.  Rather well rounded. Very distinctly female...
	Ranko produced a small hand mirror from somewhere and showed it  to Ranma. He looked at it uncomprehendingly.  The  reflection looking  back at him wasn't the rugged good looks and  dark  hair he'd  become  accustomed  too. Rather  it  was  Ranko's  delicate features  and red, red hair... He was now a she. This was  waaaay too  much.  Ranma gave a full throated scream  of  horror  before fainting dead away.
As  he  slumped  to the floor, Akane  turned  a  wry  glance towards Ranko, "You could've handled that better you know."
	"Oh shut up and wake him up. I still have to explain how  it works."
	Akane  merely sighed. She knelt down next to Ranma, who  now looked  exactly like Ranko except for the shorter braid  and  the  lack of facial markings, and gently slapped her face. "Wake up." 
	Ranma  came to his senses after a few more slaps. "Ow.  Stop that..." he said before realizing that his voice was now back  to normal, "Hey, I'm not a woman, it was all just a bad dream..." he said happily, before noticing his current situation. He was still on  the floor, but Akane was now cradling his head somewhat.  All in all not a bad position to be in if you're a man.
	Long  seconds  passed while the two tried to  sort  out  who ought to move first all the while Ranko stood to one side with  a disgusted  look on her face. "Will you two love birds stop that? Just help him get up--"
	The door of the common room suddenly burst  open  revealing Ryoga and Mousse, followed by Gosunkugi and a few of the other dorm residents who didn't go home for vacation.
	"I  knew  it!  I knew you couldn't  resist  the  temptation, Ranma!" said Ryoga pointing an accusing finger at him.
	"You  were warned, Saotome," said Mousse,  "Your  punishment will be most severe."
	Gosunkugi  didn't even bother making accusations. He  simply pulled out a 35mm camera and started taking photos.
	"Wait! It's not what it looks like really! I can explain!"
	"Oh,  really? Very well, then Saotome... I am curious as  to how  you intend to explain fact one," Mousse said holding up  one finger,  "Two  women  in  the  common  room,  after  you'd   been specifically instructed not to let them in anymore. Then there is fact two, " he continued, holding up a second finger. 
	"The  fact  that  you are on the floor of  the  common  room wearing  nothing  but  a  towel,  in  the  presence  of  the  two aforementioned  women," Ranma made a small strangled sound as  he realized that he was indeed still wearing only his towel.  Mousse held up a third finger, "And fact three..."
	"The fact that you are currently being held by one of  these aforementioned  women,"  Ranma  and Akane both  blushed  as  they realized their positions. Both scrambled to stand up. Mousse held up a fourth finger in triumph.
	"And  finally,  fact four... we heard a scream  of  feminine anguish as we entered the dorm, no doubt you forcing yourself  on the other lovely lady..." Ranko favored Mousse with a smile which caused his glasses to fog up, "Explain away that, Saotome. I dare you."
	"Er... If you put it that way. This looks really bad doesn't it?" asked Ranma.
	Most  of  the  other  dorm  residents  nodded  their   heads vigorously in agreement, that yes, indeed it looked really bad.
	"I don't suppose we could overlook this..?"
	"Enough  talk, Ranma! Now take your punishment like  a  man! Expulsion from Greenwood!! Grab him!"
	Within  a  matter of minutes, Ranma, Akane  and  Ranko  were grabbed, man- (or woman-) handled and thrown out onto the  street along with a small packed bag of Ranma's belongings.
	Ryoga  slammed  shut the door with the final  words,  "We'll send  you  the  rest  of your stuff once you  give  us  your  new address!"
	Ranma, still in the towel. Looked around him in dismay. "Why is this happening to me?!" he asked the heavens.
	"Bad karma?" offered Ranko with a grin.
	"Let  me in you jerks!!" cried Ranma, as he pounded  on  the door.
	A  small crowd of people had already gathered to  watch  the spectacle.  Murmurs of "Isn't that Ranma?", "A towel?",  "What  a pervert!",  "Nice tush though..." were already making  their  way around.
	"I'm really sorry about this Ranma," said Akane, hesitantly, "Um...  maybe you should... er... put something on  first  before you catch cold..."
	"What  are  you talking abou--?" asked Ranma as  he  glanced down, then around. 
	He gave a small strangled sound (sort of like an Aghk!  only with more feeling) and ducked behind one of the trash cans.
	"Hey!"  he  railed  at the crowd, "Haven't  you  people  got anything better to do?!"
	As the people began to disperse, some shaking their heads at the state of the youth today and some with an occasional sidelong glance,  even one person who took a snapshot, Ranma asked  Akane, 
	"Uh... could you hand me some clothes from that bag?" 
	"Here..." offered Akane, doing her best not to look.
	"Thanks," he said as he changed into his clothes, doing  his best to keep the trash can between him and the two girls.
	Ranko  leaned to one side to get a better view of him as  he put his pants on and muttered, "Hey, that lady was right, he does have a nice tush..."
	"Ranko,  stop  that!" said Akane,  acutely  embarrassed  for Ranma.
	"Anyway,   as   I  was  saying  before  I  was   so   rudely interrupted,"  Ranko  said  as Ranma  finished  getting  dressed, "Basically...  Ranma will turn into a girl if he comes too close to me."
	"What?!" said the other two simultaneously.
	"Here, watch." She moved close to Ranma, nearly touching him and suddenly, without even a puff of smoke or a three minute long transformation  sequence,  Ranma had turned into a  nearly  exact twin  of Ranko. Their only major difference was in the length  of hair and the face marks. Ranma's clothes were now looser in  some ways, but considerably tighter in others...
	"Argh!!"  said the now female Ranma, "Turn me back! Turn  me back!"
	"That's  the other thing... you change back only when  Akane touches you," Ranko said, now stepping back.
	"When I what!?" asked Akane
	"You've got to touch him."
	Akane stood next to Ranma and touched the tip of her  finger to  his  shoulder.  Just as quickly as he'd been  turned  into  a woman, he was a man again.
	"See?" said Ranko, "Simple."
	"Who's  idea was this?" said Ranma, examining himself,  more or  less trying to make certain that all of his... ahem...  parts were where they were supposed to be.
	"I  don't  know. That's what was on the  contract...  or  so Kami-sama said."
	"Kami-sama?" asked Ranma.
	"Yeah. On the phone, remember?"
	"You're kidding, right?"
	Both girls shook their heads.
	"That was hi-- I mean, that was Him?"
	Both girls nodded.
	"Geez...  I don't think you can get a higher authority  than that, I guess," then Ranma brightened perceivably, "Well,  that's simple then. If you just stay away from me, I don't have to worry about turning into a woman!"
	"It's  not quite that easy, Ranma," said Akane, "Neither  of us can be separated from you... if you try to leave either of us permanently... let's just say bad things will happen.
	"Oh  great..."  said Ranma, hanging his head, "No  place  to live  and stuck with two goddesses, one of whom will give  me  an instant sex change if I stand to close to her."
	Ranko  looked  faintly  bored and  Akane  was  still  rather embarrassed by it all.
	"Let  me  get  this  straight... you've  got  some  sort  of contract  with  me,  right?  Making  sure  that  my  wishes  stay fulfilled?"
	Akane nodded.
	"But  one  of the wishes was faulty right? Couldn't  I  just have that one annulled or something?"
	"Well, you see Ranma, it's not that easy. Something happened when the Ygradsil System processed your request. My contract with you is inexorably linked to Ranko's contract with you--"
	"What  she means, Saotome," interrupted Ranko, "Is  that  if you want to get rid of me, you have to get rid of her too..."
	Ranma had to think about that. "So, how do I do that?"
	"You have to break the contract... I'm not sure who did  the wording, but I was told you have to break her heart to break  that contract.  That  or if she wants to leave you and you  let  her." 
	Ranko  had a sour face on. She was the goddess of affection.  She knew  perfectly well that this idiot human and her tomboy  cousin were going to follow the dictates of their hearts. Damn.
	Ranma  gave a huge sigh. "Come on then you two. If  I  can't get rid of either of you, I've at least got to see about  finding us  a place to live," he picked up the bag and jerked  his  thumb down the road "My van's parked around the corner..."
	The two goddesses shrugged and turned to follow him.
	As the three made their way down the curb, Ranma muttered to himself, "What else could go wrong..?"
	Overhead,  storm  clouds  rumbled  ominously  as  though  in answer.



PART II: Of New Loves and Old Friends 

	Ranma was in a lousy mood and the weather was mirroring  his sentiments. It was raining hard out there. He had been using  the phone  at Ucchan's for the better part of an hour now. It  was  a cozy, little, okonomiyaki  restaurant.  The food  was  good  and reasonably priced, but  eating  here  always reminded  him of an old friend of his from high school  for  some reason, so he rarely went here. They were here because it was the only  place  still open in the vicinity. It's at times  like  this when  you  find  out who your real friends  are,  he  thought  to himself. It was already past midnight and he still didn't have  a place to stay. 
	None  of  his friends had any room for him  and  two  women. Mostly  it  would  be  either  just  for  him  (from  his  female acquaintances) or for the women (the offers coming from his  male friends) but not all three of them. 
             The continuous dull patter of rain on the restaurant's  roof was  starting  to  lull  Ranma to sleep.  He  was  exhausted  and homeless.  This was a truly lousy way to end a day... He  glanced at his two companions to make sure they were doing okay. 
             Ranko  was  sitting contentedly at one booth nursing  a  hot chocolate whose contents had already taken time to congeal at the bottom of the mug. Akane on the other hand looked as miserable as he felt, sipping her tea. He wished that he could be with her for the  rest  of  time... or so she'd said. That in and of  itself wasn't that bad. Ranma found that he rather liked her... even  if they'd  only  met a few hours ago and she had a tendency to get very violent. But what did you expect from the goddess of Conflicts?  Unfortunately, Ranko and a weird proximity  triggered sex change curse had somehow gotten into the deal as well.
             He  cradled  the receiver and took out his  phone  card.  He walked  back to their booth, where he sat down next to Akane,  as far as possible from Ranko and said, "That's it... nothing."
             Ranko  shrugged  and took another drink out  of  her  almost treacle like chocolate.
             "So what do we do now?" asked Akane. She hated to admit  it, but  she  was  getting scared. She had never  had  to  deal  with anything  like this before. She felt way out of her  league.  Her duties used to include only weather patterns and competition  for food by wild animals... She wasn't used to dealing with people on a one on one basis. In the old days the extent of her dealings with humans only included getting them wet on schedule. The lousy weather was actually her fault. She tended  to  echo her sentiments to the sky... and right  now  she felt like crying.
             "Don't worry. Something will turn up eventually," said Ranko airily, "This is just a temporary aberration."
             Ranma's hand slammed down on the table, "Ranko, what are you talking about? I don't have a place to live thanks to you and you call it a `temporary aberration'!?"
             "It's  not a problem. If something threatens  to  invalidate the contract, that is, something threatens to separate either  of us  from you, the `Ultimate Force' will come into play  and  help facilitate  things and prevent contract breach. You'll  see...  " Ranko said with a shrug of her smooth shoulders.
             "What are you babbling about?!" asked Ranma.
             Akane threw a frown in Ranko's direction, "It's what I meant when I told you bad things would happen if you tried to get rid of either of us. What she means is that there is a force which seeks to make sure that all contracts with our office are enforced. She probably thinks that since not having a home will make us want to leave  you...  the  Ultimate Force  will come into play and grant us a place to  live..."  she snapped her fingers, "Just like that."
             "Bingo,  hammer girl. You hit the nail right on the  head... so to speak."
             "Quit calling me hammer girl, you imbecile!"
             "Will the both of you calm down?!" hissed Ranma at the  two, "We  already  got kicked out of the Nekohanten by the  old  ghoul because you two started fighting."
             "Ahhh...  what  do  you know, anyway?"  said  Ranko  with  a dismissive gesture.
             Akane smirked, "Ranko... remember the specs for the Ultimate Force?"
             "Sure  I do... I've been serving the Goddess  Relief  Office longer than you have, you know."
             "Do you remember what the response time is supposed to be?"
             "Yeah..."  Ranko suddenly stopped herself as she  seemed  to realize   something.   Her  face  took  on  a   look   of   acute embarrassment.
             "It's five minutes, give or take two minutes, right?"  Akane asked nastily.
             "Er... yeah."
             "Ranma's  been  looking for a place for us for a  good  hour now, wouldn't you say?"
             "Uh-huh..."   continued   Ranko,  not   liking   where   the conversation was headed.
             "Doesn't that tell you something?"
             "Like I said... temporary aberration... some sort of  system error..." Ranko replied vaguely.
             Akane  stood  up, "A temporary aberration  would  have  been spotted  an  hour  ago! Something is definitely  wrong  with  our contracts if they're not getting enforced!"
             "Akane, calm down. Please," shushed Ranma,  pulling  Akane back  down  into  her seat, "If  I  understand  you  correctly... your... er... `office' should have helped us find a place to stay by now?"
             Akane  and  Ranko glared at each other but  eventually  both nodded.
             "So  something  has got to be wrong if we  haven't  found  a place  yet?  Or does it just mean that  Akane  won't  necessarily leave me if I don't find us someplace to live?"
             The two goddesses exchanged looks of surprise... that was  a distinct possibility too.
             "Hmm...  does this mean the Ultimate Force will also try  to keep  me  from... er... breaking your heart? That would  lead  to contract breach... right?"
             Akane blushed slightly, "Um..."
             "If you're planning on cheating on her, Saotome," said Ranko, "Don't bother.  I've  seen  people run smack dab  against  the  Ultimate Force. It's not a pretty sight." 
             Ranma gave Ranko a bewildered look. He sighed and thought to himself, "Why did I have to be saddled with her? Why?"
             He  eventually  said, "In any case, it looks like  we'll  be sleeping in the van... at least for tonight."
             "The  van?!!?"  roared Ranko, drawing herself  to  her  full  height, which truth to tell wasn't particularly impressive,  "That  piece of garbage?! I refuse to bruise  my  lovely young body scrunched up in that awful little heap!"
             "Ranko! Shut up! We don't have much of a choice, now do  we? I  don't like the idea much either, but Ranma has no  more  money and  I  don't want to sleep in some alley or on  a  park  bench!" replied Akane, also standing up.
             Ranma  made  shushing gestures, but both  goddesses  ignored him. 
             "Excuse me," said a voice approaching their table.
             Ranma buried his face in his hands and muttered to  himself, "I don't need this aggravation..."
             "What?!" asked the goddesses in unison, turning towards  the source of the voice.
             The voice had come from the tall, handsome brunette with long hair tied back into a neat ponytail. The person had just  removed an apron with the word, "UCCHAN'S" written on it.  Under the apron, was a shirt with a button down collar and blue jeans.
             "I couldn't help but overhearing..."
             "They  could  hear them all the way  to  China..."  muttered Ranma darkly. Akane pulled out her hammer and walloped him on the head without looking.
             "I'm  closing  up in a few minutes... If  you  folks  really don't have a place to stay... well, there's an extra room in  the back that has a couple of old futons. There should be enough room for three people. If you want, I can let you stay for the night."
             "Thank  you, kind sir," said Ranko fluttering her lashes and smiling impishly at the manager, "Could you do us the honor of telling us your name?"
             The  manager  blushed and looked flustered,  but  eventually managed to say, "Ukyou Kuonji. You can call me Ukyou. I own  this place,  I  could  use some people to work  here,  too  if  you're interested.  We might be able to work out a deal for you guys  to live on the premises... "
             Ranma's brow furrowed momentarily in recognition... the name sounded oddly familiar...
             Akane  got a relieved look in her eye, and murmured  softly, "I guess, the Ultimate Force is working, after all..."
             Ranma  jumped  up and bowed low, "Thanks, Ukyou,  we  really appreciate it."
             "Sure,  no  problem.  I  just couldn't  let  you  people  go homeless.  It isn't safe for the ladies out there, even with  you to  protect them..." Ukyou said looking intently at  Ranma,  "You are?"
             "Ranma--" 
             "Ranko  Tendo," she interrupted, bowing low enough  to  show Ukyou a good deal of cleavage.
             "Akane Tendo."
             Ukyou's eyebrow raised a little, "Related?"
             "Cousins," replied the two at the same time. They glared  at each other again.
             "Well, just let me close up, then I'll show you the room."
             "Sure.  Thanks  again," said Ranma, smiling,  "If  you  need anything...  anything  at all... I don't have much, but  I'll  be glad to give it if you ask. We owe you for this."
             "Well,  you could start by helping me clean  up,  afterwards though..." Ukyou smiled cattily at Ranma, "I'm sure I'll think of something..."
             The  manager  entered  a broom closet and  pulled  out  some brooms  and  mops. Ukyou was feeling rather  oddly  impulsive... inviting  these people to live at  Ucchan's  without even  finding out who they were... but there was something  about that Ranma fellow which looked oddly familiar to Ukyou...
             Ranma for some reason felt distinctly... worried.
             Akane smiled at the exchange wordlessly.  For no discernible reason  to her, she suddenly felt an odd surge of  jealousy.  She shook  her  head  to clear it. Surely  she  couldn't  be  feeling jealous over the way this guy was staring at Ranma, could she?
             Ranko, while the same age as Akane, was  decades ahead as far as sophistication was concerned. She understood  the look  Ukyou  was  giving  Ranma  immediately,  but  didn't   feel concerned  at all. After all, this poor sap was going to have  to go up against the Ultimate Force to get anywhere with Ranma. That wasn't  bloody  likely.  She smiled to  herself...  it  would  be interesting to watch though.

             The clean up took less than half an hour and Ukyou led  them to the store room, helping them to lay out the futons.
             "Well, I'll be turning in now," said Ukyou with a smile,  "I live on the second floor. If you need anything, just knock on the door at the top of the stairs, and if anyone wants to take a bath  in the morning, it's the door on the landing. There are spare  towels in there, too."
             "Thanks,  Darling," said Ranko, cheerfully  blowing  another kiss at Ukyou.
             The  manager took a last nervous glance at Ranko  and  bowed out. After Ukyou had left, Akane shot Ranko a look of disgust and said, "Honestly Ranko, you're a shameless flirt!"
             "Hey,  it was the least I could do... considering that  he's helping us out."
             "But did you have to bend over like that every time he  came close?"
             "I like to think of it as a partial repayment. Besides...  I don't  think  I'm the one he's interested in..."  Ranko  let  her statement hang.
             "What do you mean?" Ranma asked smoothing down his futon.
             "Weelllll... it's just that our benefactor was shooting some rather sultry looks someone else's way..."
             "Who?"  asked  Ranma  not  entirely  in  step  with  matters innuendo wise, "He was looking at Akane?"
             Akane blushed red, "No, he wasn't..!"  she  had  obviously picked up faster than Ranma did. "...er... he was... um..."
             "Jeez,  you're dense, Saotome," muttered Ranko as  she  took off her outer coat.
             "Oh yeah, one other thing, " she added, tagging Ranma on the shoulder,  "Just to make sure you don't try anything funny  while Akane and I are sleeping."
             Ranma looked down at herself and tried to keep from screaming again. This  entire turning into a woman thing was definitely  going  to take some getting used to.
             "What  do you mean `try anything funny'?!" asked Ranma,  now with a girl's voice.
             "Funny as in lecherous or weird not funny ha ha, if you must have me define it," Ranko replied with a smirk. She settled  into her futon and was snoring away within a matter of seconds.
             "I  am really starting to see why you don't like  her  much, Akane," Ranma said.
             "Oh,  this  is nothing... she was a lot worse when  we  were kids."
             Ranma merely nodded agreeably and said, "This is  definitely going  to take some getting used too," she said, looking  herself over.
             Akane took a look at Ranko and asked shyly, "Would you  like me to change you back?"
             "Um...  you don't have to," Ranma glanced at Ranko,  with  a nervous smile, "Actually I think she might have a point..."
             Akane blushed deeply and her expression had turned into  one of rage as she pulled out her hammer, "You wouldn't, dare!" 
             Ranma held out her hands defensively, "No! Of course not!  I was just kidding, okay?! It was a joke!"
             "Oh..." said Akane, lowering the hammer. For some reason she felt oddly disappointed. She hefted her weapon again, smiling dangerously, "Well,  why not? I'm not cute enough for you, is that it?! Is that it?!!"
             "Argh..!  Put  that  thing down, Akane, I  didn't  say  that either!  You are... er... That is..." Akane lowered it again  and 
        Ranma breathed a sigh of relief, "What I mean is... er... we just met  today. Besides, we're sharing the room with  your  cousin... and... uh..."
             Akane got a hold of herself slowly and managed to say  after a  few moment's thought, "Its okay, Ranma, I'm kidding too,"  she said  unconvincingly, "But seriously, I mean it's no  problem  if you're a guy with us," she paused and looked him straight in  the eye, "I trust you."
             Ranma  smiled  at that, "That's nice to know,  Akane..."  he coughed  nervously  and shot a glance at the other  goddess,  "If you're sure its no problem..."
             "Not  at all, come over here," she said beckoning  to  Ranma over Ranko's sleeping form.
             Akane could have just tagged Ranma on the shoulder as  Ranko had done, but instead she impulsively placed her hand on  Ranma's cheek and watched the transformation. One moment, she was  taller than  Ranma, the next he was towering over her. She let her  hand rest on his cheek for a while longer. 
             The two stood in silence for long seconds. Akane noticed  to her  surprise that Ranma's face began to get warmer and a  little red for some reason. Ranma put his hand over hers and  eventually said with some embarrassment "I think you can put your hand down, Akane-chan... We'd better turn in," he added hurriedly.
             "Er... sorry, I didn't realize. Sorry,"  replied Akane  also burning  red  with embarrassment. She certainly didn't  miss  the fact that he had called her Akane-chan either.
             So  without  any further word, Ranma and Akane lay  down  to sleep.  Akane was still trying to get used to how things were  in the human realm, but was certain that she was doing a good job of adapting. She still had a lot to think about... especially  about Ranma. 
             Ranma  was  certain  that he  would  have  trouble  sleeping tonight,  despite  his  exhaustion. Not only was  there  his  now rather  mutable  sexuality to consider and his  current  homeless situation,  but  there was Akane as well... he was a man  of  his word, he wouldn't try anything... but he certainly couldn't  stop himself from thinking about it. 
             Both  were  so  busy covering  up  their  embarrassment  and pretending  to sleep  that neither of them noticed  that  Ranko's snores had stopped. A small frown was already forming on  Ranko's features...  "So,  that's  how it is,"  she  thought  to  herself sleepily, mulling over the two's conversation,  "I didn't realize my tomboy cousin had a romantic bone in her body... Not good.  If she  keeps  this up, he'll never want to  break  her  contract... Akane and I'll be stuck down here forever..."
             "No  way.  Not if I can help it" she muttered  aloud  before drifting back to sleep. 

 	Akane  got up fairly early the next morning. She was  rather surprised  to  find the still snoozing Ranma, his  face  under  a pillow,  was now back to being a female... Ranko had  disappeared as  well,  but  Akane was sure she could  hear  someone  singing to the tune of a radio. Very bad singing. Her curiosity piqued by this and certain that whatever had happened   it  was all Ranko's fault, Akane stormed off  to  find her. Akane moved up the stairs, to where the hideous singing was  louder. She  eventually realized that Ranko had taken Ukyou's offer of  a bath. The door to the changing room was unlocked and she  marched through  the divider without breaking stride. 
 	"Alright,  what  were  you trying to do  last  night?!"  she roared.
 	Sitting in the tub, Ranma looked at Akane with shock, cut off in midnote.  Akane was  also no doubt shocked. Ranma quickly ducked under the  water to  cover himself and replied, edging towards the far end of  the bath, "I didn't do anything!! I kept as far away from both of you as possible!" 
	Akane, realizing what an error she had made quickly  averted her  gaze  and  covered her eyes, "Oh God,  I'm  sorry  Ranma,  I thought that was you still sleeping down there!"
 	"What are you talking about!?" 
 	Ranko suddenly appeared behind Akane leering openly at Ranma, "Yeah, right Akane...  you  were just looking for an excuse to burst in on Ranma naked..."
 	"But  I thought that was him downstairs..!"  Akane  angrily replied  turning  on Ranko. She stared as she realized  what  had caused her mistake. Ranko's braid was now as short as Ranma's and she was wearing a tank-top and Chinese pants similar to what Ranma was wearing last night.
 	Ranko  noticed her staring and gave her head a quick  shake, causing  the  rest  of her braid to unfold  from  wherever  she'd hidden  it.  She smiled at Akane. "What a pair you  two  are!  An exhibitionist  and a voyeur!" she shouted as she dashed  out  the door, "Enjoy the show, Akane!"
 	With  a puff of smoke Ranko had transformed into a six  inch version  of herself, with stocky body dimensions and  a  much larger head in proportion to the rest of her body. She looked a lot like a superdeformed doll  version of  herself. She slid down the banister and was  already  looking for a good hiding place.
 	"Sorry,  about  that,  Ranma..." said Akane  meekly  as  she stepped out and closed the door. Outside she roared at the top of her  voice, "Ranko!! Get back here!!!" In the  distance,  thunder rolled, echoing her sentiments.
 	In  the tub Ranma buried his face in his hands and  muttered to himself, "What did I do to deserve this?"
 	Upstairs,  what  with all the noise, Ukyou was  starting  to wonder if it was really a good idea to have invited those  people to  stay  the night. They seemed like nice enough people  at  the time. And that Ranma reminded Ukyou of an old friend back in high school.  "So  handsome..."  the manager  sighed  and  opened  the apartment's front door. She shook her head Akane was on the lower landing, obviously searching for something.
 	"Tendo-san, Good morning. Did you sleep well?"
 	Noticing  Ukyou at the top of the stairs, "Oh... er...  Good morning. Yes, Kuonji-san, thank you."
 	Ukyou  looked  at her and saw how tense and alert  she  was, "Akane? Is something wrong?"
 	Akane still looked distracted, as though she'd just heard  a sound but now wasn't sure. "Um... No... nothing at all. 
 	"Is anyone in the bath, then?" asked Ukyou.
 	Akane's head suddenly snapped to base of the stairs where  a small doll appeared to be hiding. Ukyou gave the doll a perplexed glance as it winked back at the manager.
 	"Ranko..."  Akane growled, totally focused on her  prey  and ignoring  all  distractions, "Excuse me a minute,  Ukyou..."  she said  as  she bounded down the stairs after  the  now  retreating doll, her hammer up and ready.
 	Ukyou  was  utterly  confused  now.  With  a  shrug,   Ukyou proceeded to the bath... little realizing that Akane had not even heard the question.
 	The manager knocked on the bath door and said, "It's  Ukyou, mind if I join you?" 
 	Inside,  Ranma  said, "Sure come on in...  I'm  nearly  done anyway," 
 	It was his bath anyway, Ranma added to himself.
 	Ukyou  entered the bath's changing room and  stripped  down, taking extra care while removing the chest bindings. "It did seem odd though," Ukyou noted, "Ranko's voice seemed a lot deeper than it  did  last  night..." she shrugged it off and  slid  open  the divider.
 	Ranma stood up and was about to step out of the tub when the divider  opened again... and time stopped. Standing just  outside was  a tall, attractive woman with handsome features. She  had  a smile, a small towel over one shoulder and that was about all she was  wearing. She was two up on Saotome though... his  towel  was across the room and he wasn't smiling. It took a few moments for the shock to wear off, but when it did...
 	"Who are you?!"
 	"You're not Ranko!!"
 	Both  screamed  simultaneously. Ranma ducked back  into  the water for the sake of modesty and the girl did her best to  cover herself  with  the little towel. It wasn't doing  a  particularly good job... Ranma was getting dangerously clear views of what the girl was trying to hide. She didn't like that...
 	Ranko and Akane heard the shouting and quickly rushed up  to investigate.
 	"Ranma! What's wrong?" said Akane, concerned as she  hurried into the bathroom.
 	The  little  doll Ranko bounced in a few moments  later  and transformed  into her normal form in another puff of smoke,  "Now what?" she asked, annoyed. Their expressions suddenly changed  as they  got  a  better look at the  situation.  Ranko's  expression turned to amusement and Akane's had turned into one of shock.
 	Ranma  was out cold in the tub, face down with a  stream  of bubbles  coming from his mouth. The girl had a towel rack in  one hand  which she had obviously torn off from one of the walls  and was using her other hand to hold up her towel.
 	The  girl turned her back to Saotome and said  furiously  to Akane,  pointing at her with the towel rack, "I thought you  said Ranko was in here!" 
 	"When did I do that? Who are you?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm Ukyou!"
 	"But Ukyou's a guy!" Akane replied.
 	"That's not the issue, here!"
 	"Ranko!  What did you do to Ukyou?!" said Akane  turning  on her cousin, now certain Ranko had done something horrible,  after all... wasn't it her fault that Ranma turned into a girl?
 	"What  do  you mean what did I do?" asked  Ranko,  genuinely hurt.
 	Ranma made a series of choking noises and finally managed to revive  enough to lift his head out of the water,  "What did  you do that for?" he asked groggily, trying to look around. His  eyes finally focused on something nearby...
 	Akane felt relieved as she  noticed Ranma's head finally coming up, but he  still looked  a bit dazed. His head swiveled around until  finally  his eyes seemed to lock, almost by accident on Ukyou...
 	Ukyou  heard  Ranma revive and realized belatedly  that  her little towel was only large enough to cover her front. And  Ranma was behind her.
 	Several things happened simultaneously. Ranma realized  what precisely he was looking at and quickly averted his gaze.  Akane, realizing  what  Ranma was looking at, brought  out  her  hammer. 
 	Ukyou realizing that her bottom did feel a little drafty, dropped her  weapon,  covered  herself with her  hand  and  quickly  spun around. Ranko started giggling.
 	"Ranma, you pervert!!" said Akane bringing her hammer up  to punish him.
 	"I  didn't see anything!! I didn't see  anything!! Honest!" Ranma pleaded as he was hammered into the wall beside the tub. His eyes firmly shut the whole time to make sure that he really didn't see anything.
 	"Stop  that!!" said Ukyou, no one was precisely  certain  if she meant the hammering or Ranma's staring, not even her.
 	Ranma found himself embedded in the tiles again and  managed to croak out, "What have I done to deserve this?" before  passing out.
	"I  can't believe I trusted him, the creep," Akane  muttered to herself.
 	Ranko  leaned against the frame of the door, "But,  Akane... this  was all your fault. You told Ukyou that I was in  the  bath when you knew that it was Ranma in there all along..."
 	Ukyou  turned  on Akane in a fury once more, "You  mean  you were helping this lecher!?"
 	"No  I  am not helping him and no I didn't tell  Ukyou  that Ranko was in the bathroom!"
 	"Yes  you did," Ranko continued, "You were still  trying  to hammer me on the stairs and he..." she said pointing at the girl, who  frowned, "Er... she was trying to talk to you.  You  weren't paying attention."
 	"Are we sure that's Ukyou?" asked Akane.
 	"I'm  going  to get dressed and we are all going to  have  a long  discussion  about this downstairs," Ukyou said in  a  voice that would brook no argument, "Somebody put some clothes on him and drag him down, too... I want to talk to him." 
 	Ranko's  face  had  a crooked grin as  she  looked  down  on Ranma's  unconscious form, "You know, Saotome... you've sure  got some way with women."
 	"`Saotome?'"  said Ukyou, as she buttoned her top, not bothering with the chest bindings which would have taken too long,  "Why  did you just call him Saotome?"
 	Ranko frowned, "It's his name. Ranma Saotome."
 	"Saotome? I thought he said his name was Ranma Tendo?" 
 	"Why would he be named Tendo?"
 	"I thought you said you were his cousins?" said Ukyou.
 	Akane  offered, "Ranko and I are cousins. Ranma's just  a... er..."
 	"Her boyfriend." Ranko said in her silky voice.
 	"He is not!" said Akane, with surprising vehemence.
	Ukyou blinked at the two in confusion... as she turned her attention to the mildly bruised and unconscious Ranma.
 	"Oh,  yeah..." said Ranko, sounding thoughtful, "He said  he wanted  to spend the rest of his life with you... It wasn't  what he said precisely, but that's what he meant. You're right... you two are more like betrothed than boyfriend-girlfriend," she added, smiling.
 	"That's  not it either! He wanted--" Akane tried to  answer, desperately embarrassed.
 	"He  wanted  you, hammer girl." said  Ranko  with  finality, jabbing a finger in Akane's direction.
 	Akane wanted to shove her hammer down Ranko's throat, but at the  same  time  she rather liked the thought  of  Ranma  wanting her... somehow. Blushing red, she walloped Ranko into the  floor, "Just shut up, Ranko! You're stuck to him too!"
 	As  Ranko  picked  herself up Ukyou,  who  had  been  gazing intently  at  Ranma and utterly oblivious of Ranko and Akane's exchange, asked again, "You two are  sure his name's Ranma Saotome?"
 	"Yes... why do you ask?" the two goddesses asked simultaneously.
 	She brought her face on level with Ranma's, "Well... I think he's a friend of mine from high school."
 	"He is?!" asked the two goddesses at the same time. They glared at each other as they both said, "Stop that!"
             Ranma,  who  had finally recovered enough to open  his  eyes, blinked a  couple  of times  desperately trying to get his brain restarted. The first thing he noticed was that there was a girl peering very closely at his face. That wasn't so bad, since that sort of thing had happened to him many times before, but it wasn't something he was comfortable with... The second thing he noticed was that her face was only a few inches away from his own... uncomfortably close... The third thing he noticed was that her eyes were very beautiful...
	He blinked a couple more times, allowing his eyes to focus on her properly and backing off a little to see her better, when he finally realized who it was and said,  "Is  that  you, Ucchan?" Amazing what two blows to the head can do to jog your memory. She was a very good friend from high school... they'd been close, but drifted apart when they went off to college... last he'd heard... she was planning on marrying some guy she'd met in Kyoto...
             Ukyou  was startled but recovered quickly enough to hug  him and  say, "It is you Ranchan! I'm so happy! It's been  so  long! Stay as long as you like!" said Ukyou, who was feeling  like  a giddy teenager all over again, "Your friends can stay too if they want! It's so good to see you!!"
             "Wait, slow down," said Ranma still half dazed, "It's  great to  see  you  too, Ucchan, but who was the guy we met last night? Your husband?"
             Ukyou's  smile faltered for the briefest of instants  before it  was  back, she hit him playfully on the arm, "You big silly, that was me!"
	"Oh... Er... I thought you looked familiar... but why were you dressed as a guy?"
	"I don't really like to talk about  it,  Ran-chan," she said smiling, "Let's go downstairs... we have a lot of catching up to do!"
             "Sure.  Sure.  We can talk there..." Ranma was still  a  bit confused and not entirely certain why it was so drafty... Ranko gave a small self contented smile as she watched Ukyou give Ranma another very enthusiastic hug... made all the worse by four facts: the fact that Ranma only had a towel draped over his midsection; the fact that Ukyou was wearing a half buttoned shirt and nothing else; the fact that Ranma didn't look at all unpleased that Ukyou was hugging him, and the fact that Akane was watching, with a scowl. If this didn't  make that stupid tomboy want to break the contract, Ranko mused, she didn't know what would. 
             "What is going on here?" Akane asked manhandling Ranma  away from Ukyou. 
             "Can  I at least get dressed first?" asked  Ranma  realizing that he only had a thin linen towel to protect his modesty  with. Akane and Ukyou hastily backed out to let him get dressed, Ukyou pausing just long enough to pick up her boxer shorts. Ranko left last, taking her time and ogling him. 

	Ranma made his way down to the restaurant proper a few moments later to find Ranko and Akane seated at the counter. It was still before opening time and Ukyou had already done most of the necessary clean up. She was at the grill cooking up a batch of her specialty okonomiyaki for their breakfast. 
	Ukyou smiled brightly at  Ranma as he walked towards them, "Breakfast's on, Sugar. Catch it while its hot."
	Akane frowned to herself at Ukyou's familiar tone with Ranma... Was she an old girlfriend? She asked herself.
	Jealousy begins to rear its ugly head, thought Ranko silently, This is great! I couldn't have planned it better myself!
	The smell of the cooking food drew Ranma down faster, "Smells great, Ucchan." He said with a smile, "You haven't lost your touch, I see."
	Ukyou dimpled slightly at the compliment, "Thanks. I like what you did with your hair, by the way. The braid suits you better than that silly crewcut. I almost didn't recognize you."
	Smiling, Ranma absently tugged at his braid, "Thanks. But you know it was all Principal Kuno's fault why the guys had to have short hair."
	Ukyou laughed, "Yeah, he chased everyone around the campus with those barbers shears."
	Ranma laughed also, "It wasn't that funny! He was a fast old guy..."
	"Who's principal Kuno?" asked Ranko getting lost in the conversation of the two friends.
	"Our deranged principal from high school," Ukyou  said dismissively, adding with a smile, "What a nut..."
	"His kids are studying at N.I.T." Ranma added conversationally.
	"No?" said Ukyou a little surprised, "Really? I'd've thought they would have stayed in Tokyo."
	"Um... So... You two really know each other?" asked Akane trying to break into the conversation.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah, we were best friends in high school."
	"Pretty inseparable, right Ranchan?" Ukyou added with a giggle.
	"Yeah," Ranma agreed as he sat down next to Akane. She favored him with a small smile which he returned. That did not pass Ukyou's notice... she raised an eyebrow but made no comment.
	"It seems like such a long time ago..." said Ukyou wistfully as she passed Ranko an okonomiyaki.
	Ranma nodded, "Yeah. I guess it was. How are you anyway?"
	Ukyou smiled sweetly, "Well, as you can see, I have my own business," she gestured expansively, "It's all mine!" she thought for a moment then added with a giggle, "Well, mine and the bank's!"
	Ranma laughed easily at the joke, Ranko did so politely, around her own breakfast... Akane however was feeling rather uncomfortable at the easy friendship between Ukyou and Ranma.
	"Just yours, Ucchan?" Ranma asked finally, slightly puzzled.
	Ukyou nodded, flipping another perfect okonomiyaki onto a plate just as Ranma said, "What about your husband? Weren't you marrying that guy fro-"
	She nearly dropped the plate in surprise at his mention of  her marriage. Her face suddenly turned unreadable and her voice was cold and dead as she said, "I didn't marry him."
	Ranma, oblivious to Ukyou's sudden change of mood was about to ask for details, but Akane noticed her discomfort. She put a hand on Ranma's arm and shook her head when she'd caught his attention. Ranma looked confused, but didn't press the issue.
	"I'd rather not talk about it," Ukyou said finally in the same dead voice.
	Ranko smiled to herself, Very interesting... sorrow. Lots and lots of it. Rage too... could come in handy...
	Ukyou's face brightened suddenly again, "You guys still need a place to stay, right? My offer still stands Ranchan, I still need people to work here and I have some extra room. I was only planning on hiring two people, but considering how much business has been improving, I think three would work out pretty well, too. What do you guys say?"
	"If you're sure, Ucchan," Ranma said also brightening a little.
	"Are you kidding?" she said, "This place does gets kinda lonely sometimes... it would be nice to have some company,." she added, smiling.
	"We are so lucky, aren't we, Akane?" Ranko said adding a wink in Akane's direction.
 	"Yeah," Akane replied sullenly, "Lucky."
	Ranko was picking at her own breakfast as she said cattily, "You two were pretty close, huh?"
	"You could say that," said Ukyou with a slight blush.	
	Akane seemed even more uncomfortable as she said, "Oh..."
	Ranma hastily replied, "It's not like that, Akane! We were just friends that's all!"
	Ukyou was a little taken aback by the Ranma's reaction but she laughed lightly as she replied, "Not for lack of trying on our friends' parts to get us together though."
	Ranko, looking for more fuel for the fire, said, "You mean you two weren't an item?"
	"No," said Ukyou with a slight trace of wistfulness in her voice.
	"Ranko, quit bugging, her!" said Akane suddenly.
	"It's okay, Akane, I don't mind," Ukyou replied easily.
	Ranko whispered to Akane, "What's the matter, hammer girl? Worried we'll find out something unpleasant about your fiance?"
	"He is NOT my fiance!" Akane roared at Ranko.
	Ranma jerked back a little at the vehemence in Akane's voice... Ukyou was also mildly shocked.
	Ukyou looked at Akane who was breathing hard and just an inch away from pulling her hammer out to wallop Ranko into the floor. Then she looked at Ranma who was looking at Akane, somewhat worriedly. Then back to Akane...
	"She's your fiance, Ranchan?" Ukyou asked, very surprised.
	"I am not!" 
	"No she isn't!"
 	Ranma and Akane shouted simultaneously.
	Ranko smirked, "Oh, yes you are... you've even got a registered contract and everyithing! You're practically man and wife since Saotome here proposed!"
	"That was not a proposal, Ranko and you know it!" Ranma said.
	Ranko put the back of one wrist to her forehead and said in heavy mock tradgedy, "You ask the girl to stay with you for the rest of your life and you claim that isn't a proposal?"
	"It was an accident, Ranko!" said Akane, "He didn't realize-"
	"Didn't realize what an awful decision he'd made!" crowed Ranko triumphantly.
	"You take that back, incompetent!" said Akane, pulling her hammer out.
	"Akane, it's not worth beating her up for it!" Ranma said desperately trying to hold Akane back. Or pissing Ukyou off if either of you start tossing blasts of energy around, he added quietly.
	Ukyou watched them utterly confused and with a slight sinking feeling in her heart. She shouted, "Quiet!"
	As the three finally settled down, "Let me get this straight..." she pointed to Akane, "You're Ranma's fiance, right?"
	Akane looked embarassed as she put her hammer away, "Um... in a manner of speaking... I suppose... actually... it's not quite the word I'd use..."
	Ranko said with a smirk, "I think she'd like to be called 'girlfriend' instead. For now anyway. She'll probably want to be known as 'Mrs. Saotome' soon enough..."
	"Ranko, shut up!"
	"Okay," she gave Ranma a cheerful look, "Why didn't you mention this sooner?"
	"Er... It wasn't my fault?" said Ranma lamely.
	Ukyou sighed, "Same old Ranchan," she looked at Ranko and then asked, "So what are you doing with your girlfriend's cousin then?"
	Akane muttered, "She's here because she's an incompetent..."
	Ranko gave a brief self-satisfied smile as she said, "I'm watching over them."
	"You're what?" asked Ukyou.
	"No you're not! You're causing all of the trouble in the first place!" said Akane brandishing her hammer.
	"This makes absolutely no sense to me." muttered Ukyou. 
	Ranma sighed, "I don't really understand it myself..."
	Ukyou said happily, "Ranchan, when you make a situation for your self you don't do it half heartedly!"
	Ranma burried his face in his hands and muttered, "It's not like I asked for this..."
	"Actually you did..." Ranko interrupted.
	The argument and supposed clarification continued on for the better part of the morning... in the end, Ukyou didn't really get an explanation... but Ranma and the two goddesses ended up with a place to live and jobs... for a while anyway...



PART III: Of Devoted Worshipers and Unexpected Jealousies

             It was the end of the semestral break. Now that the  repairs to  the  school  buildings  were complete  (some  of  which  were severely  damaged  when  the Chemistry Lab  had  blown  up one evening under mysterious  circumstances, involving a flying woman and a student, but that's besides the point) classes would resume  this Monday. Ranma was not particularly looking forward to going  back to the academic grind, but he didn't have much of a choice. If he wanted  to  keep  his athletic scholarship, he had  to  keep  his grades above a certain level as well. On the upshot, at least  he would be getting out of Ucchan's, even if only during the day. Much as Ranma didn't want to admit it to Ukyou, he was starting to get sick of okonomiyaki...
             Since he, Akane and Ranko had moved in, the place had become a  madhouse.  Akane shared Ukyou's guest room  with  Ranko  while Ranma had gotten the back room of the restaurant. They helped out around  Ucchan's  whenever  necessary and  Ukyou's  business  had actually improved because of the handsome new waiter (Ranma)  and cute new waitresses (Akane and Ranko).  
             Add  to  that Ranko picking on Akane and Ranma,  Akane's  tendency  to violently  retaliate  with her hammer, Ukyou  and  Akane  getting mildly  jealous  over what each thought the other had  with Ranma (this  was especially  bad  for Akane who was known to  cause  thunderstorms when  in  an particularly foul mood), Ranko slinking  around  the restaurant, flirting with anything that moves, and every so often transforming  Ranma,  plus everyone occasionally  walking  in  on Ranma in the bath and him getting beaten up for it... it all came down to a rather complicated domestic situation. And they'd  only been staying there for less than three weeks, and thus far, Ranma had been entirely able to avoid letting on about his 'problem' to Ukyou... despite Ranko's almost daily attempts to transform him... It was actually quite lucky that Ukyou got along well with all three, otherwise they might have found themselves homeless again.
             Ranma  hadn't given up on finding a place just for  him  and the  goddesses. Despite Ukyou's good cheer and  protestations  to the  contrary, Ranma could see that her patience with  the  other two was starting to wear thin. Ranma didn't want to impose on her too much.
             She  was still pretty much the same girl he'd  been  friends with   back  in  Furinkan  High  School,  in Tokyo, except for a tendency to cross dress on a daily basis. Unfortunately, they'd lost touch with one another after they went to  college.  The last he'd heard Ukyou was going  to  marry  her boyfriend,  some guy she'd met in Kyoto. She didn't want to  talk about it and Ranma certainly wasn't about to pry.
             Ranma  stepped out of the tub and shook out of  his  reverie just  in time to hear someone trying to open the door.  For  some strange  reason,  the locks on the doors of the  bath  tended  to open by  themselves  whenever Ranma  inside. They suspected Ranko, but there was never any evidence for it. He  called  out, "Nearly done! Please, wait outside!"
             "Oh. Sorry, Ranma!" called back a voice which he  recognized as Akane's. Ranma had learned to be more alert since he'd started living  with the goddesses. Between Akane's temper and Ranko's harassment, every day was a new  opportunity  for training.
             Ranma  stepped  out of the bathroom, fully dressed  and  saw Akane sitting on the landing. He called, "Hi, Akane. Your turn."
             She  stood  up,  smiling, "Thank you,  Ranma.  Do  you  have classes today?"
             Ranma nodded, "Only until one. Then I'll be out looking  for another apartment-"
             From upstairs, Ukyou stepped out of her apartment and walked to  the  bath. "Ranchan, how many times do  I have to  tell  you that you're always welcome to stay for as long as you like!  That goes for your girlfriend as well," Ukyou said smiling at Akane.
             Akane  blushed mildly at that. She was starting to get  used to  being called that... but somehow it still didn't  quite  feel right when Ukyou said it for some reason. Well... it was easier for her to be called that than his fiance...
             Ranma neither confirmed nor denied their status, but he  did put a discreet hand on her shoulder as he said, "But not for  her cousin, huh?"
             "I  heard  that,  Saotome!!" came a sleepy  voice  from  the apartment, "You'll pay!"
             Ukyou noted the gesture with amusement. Ranma always  stayed close to Akane. Especially when it seemed likely that Ranko would get mad  at him  for some reason. But besides that, Ranma tended to be  close to Akane whenever possible. Every so often he would put a hand on her  shoulder or brush against her.  As far as Ukyou knew, Ranma never was one for intimacy... his father (an old imbecile in her opinion) raised Ranma up to be a rugged, macho, he-man... complete with all the appropriate problems at open displays of affection. But when he was with Akane, Ukyou noticed, with just a little jealousy... he always had time to be.... well... close to her. 
             Akane  knew why. She threw Ranma a sour look of  amusement. He  was  mostly worried that Ranko would try to turn him  into  a woman. Again. Just like Ranko tried almost every single day since they moved in. Akane knew that Ranma occasionally fell  into depressions  just  thinking  about what  would  happen  if  Ranko transformed  him and Akane weren't there. He would never  become  a man  again...  Truth to tell, the longest he'd had to spend as a woman so far was under an hour., but the possibility of it becoming permanent was rather unsettling for him.
	Aside  from  that,  it  was  tough  enough   being transformed into another gender by a woman's touch, but trying to keep  it secret from someone who used to be your best friend  who was living under the same roof at the same time...
             "Whatever,"  said Ranma with a shrug,  "I'm going  apartment hunting anyway, Ucchan. I don't want to impose on you so much."
             "That's my Ranchan alright," Ukyou said with a smile. Akane felt  a  stab  of jealousy. Ukyou's pet name  for  Ranma always grated on her. It was  an indication of the history they'd shared. Something, Akane  didn't have...
             Ukyou noticed Akane starting to space out and asked, "Akane, mind if I join you?"
             Akane was jolted out of her musings but nodded, "Sure."
             Ranma  said, "Okay, I'll just clean up down  stairs...  I've got  to  get out of here by eight or I'll never get  to  class  in time."
             After  Ukyou  had entered Akane turned to  Ranma  and  said, "Ranma... would you let me come with you?"
             "Hmm..?" said Ranma as he turned to Akane, "Why?"
             "I don't know... I just want to see what you actually do  in school... Besides, the last time I left Ucchan's was days ago."
             "Well...  I  don't see why not. You aren't working  a  shift today, anyway, right?"
             "No, she's not!" called out Ukyou from the bath.
             "Okay, then. I'll wait for you," he said smiling.
             "And  no peeking, Ranma!" Akane added from behind the  door. It  was  a joke. In the short time that she'd  known  him,  she'd learned  quite  a  bit about him. Ranma was  actually  quite  shy around women except around those he was comfortable with or  with women who so infuriated him that he didn't think clearly anymore. Ukyou was the former, Ranko was the latter, and Akane could  slip into either category depending on her temper at the time.
             Akane  stripped down and entered the bath with  Ukyou.  They weren't  quite  close,  but they were already  on  their  way  to becoming  good friends. The fact that Ranma liked the  other  was already a good indicator in the other one's eyes.
             They  had small talk as they bathed, about how the  business was  doing,  what the weather was like and whether or  not  Akane could borrow some of Ukyou's clothes for the day... She didn't have anything truly feminine, but Akane didn't mind.
             "He really likes you." said Ukyou suddenly.
             "Huh?  Um...  what  do  you  mean?"  asked  Akane   feigning ignorance.
             "C'mon...  neither of you say much about it, but I  can  see it. He always wants to be near you... he always apologizes  after he's rude to you (he doesn't even do that to me)... he hides like crazy when his groupies come calling... He's trying his best to  keep you happy."
             Akane furrowed as she considered Ranma's actions. She didn't like  admitting  her thoughts out loud. She worried if  that  was really why he stayed close to her, "No, he just has to keep me  happy because of Ranko."
             "Ranko?  Why?" asked Ukyou, "What does she have to  do  with anything?"
             "You see, Ranma needs me to--" she stopped herself  suddenly as she realized that Ranma had sworn her to secrecy regarding his transformations, "Er... ah, that is..."
             "Now that you mentioned it... You guys never did tell me why Ranko  was with you. One time, Ranko told me that you and Ranchan had  run off  together  because  he couldn't live without  you,  but  that doesn't explain her and--"
             "That's  a lie!" Akane interrupted suddenly, "Um... I  mean, let's  just say I had my Father's blessing... but Ranko was  part of the deal..."
             "Complicated situation, huh?"
             "You don't know the half of it, Ukyou."
             Ukyou smiled, "Regardless... I know you're good for my  Ranchan. Take good care of him Akane," Ukyou added hugging her.
             "Thanks," said Akane, genuinely touched.
             "What a lovely scene. I think I may weep openly," said Ranko with overblown drama, from the door. Complete with dabbing at the corners  of  her  eyes with a hanky,  she  continued,  "Is  there something Ranma should know Akane? Maybe, Ukyou is more masculine than she cares to admit..."
             Akane  shot her a dangerous look, "What are you doing  here, harridan?"
             "I wanted a bath too, tomboy."
             "So  take  a  bath already! I  was  just  leaving!"  without another word, Akane grabbed her clothes and towel and stormed off to change.
             As  Ranko slipped into the water, Ukyou who had watched  the exchange, asked, "Why are you so mean to her?"
             Ranko frowned at Ukyou and answered sharply, "It's her fault I'm  stuck here. Her and Saotome's. And if she weren't too busy making googly eyes at him, we'd probably have left already."
             "All three of you?" Ukyou said, with a touch of sorrow.
             "No. Just me and her..."
             Ukyou  felt  an  spark of hope... Akane  might  still  leave Ranma.  She quickly squelched that thought, though. But  she  was still curious.
             "What precisely do you have to do?"
             Ranko  felt Ukyou's emotions as well, she was after all  the goddess  of affection, but she'd never been paying  attention  to Ukyou before. The cross dresser of all people. The only woman Ranko had met so far who was even more masculine than her tomboy cousin! Ukyou was in  love with  Ranma...  It  was a desperate kind of love  people  on  the rebound usually display. But powerful... She was too in love with him to try anything, though, because he already looked happy with Akane... Ranko's mouth quirked. She could certainly fix that... just a dab of the right spell...
             "Nothing  important," said Ranko dismissively, "By the  way, where is Akane going in such a hurry?"

             Ranma's van had certainly seen better days. It was old,  but reliable.  It  took about an half an hour to get to  the  campus, because  of  the traffic, but they made it with  time  to  spare. Which  was good. Because a large crowd of women was  waiting  for the van at the parking lot.
             "Okay,  Akane.  Here we are," said Ranma as  he  opened  his door.  Akane  got  out  ahead  of  him  and  noticed  the   crowd approaching.  Loud  babbling erupted from the throng as  soon  as they saw Akane.
             "Is it usually so crowded?" she asked, worried.
             "No..."  said  Ranma cautiously. He stayed in  the  van  and peered  out  cautiously. He recognized some of the faces  in  the crowd. It was his fan club. He should have expected this. 
             "Oh  boy," he said as he surveyed the mob which was  rapidly closing  in.  They did not look happy at all.  "They're  all  out there."
             Akane walked over to Ranma's side and looked at him  through the vehicle's doorway, "Well? What do we do about them?"
             "We  can  try  to make a break for it  I  guess--"  he  said dubiously.
             "Hey, Saotome!" came a voice from dashboard. Ranma and Akane looked  down and saw mini-Ranko balancing on his steering  wheel, "Ever wondered what it would be like to go to school as a girl?"
             "Wha--" Ranma blurted out, as Ranko jumped from the steering wheel and onto his head. She promptly disappeared again in a puff of  smoke.  Ranma realized belatedly that Ranko  had  gotten  him again.
             "Aw  jeez!  Why did she have to do that now!?"  Ranma  said, surveying her body.
             "Nobody's  close  enough to see you yet, here,"  Akane  said offering her hand.
             "Thanks," Ranma said, taking her hand as he exited the  van. He was back to normal before anyone else could notice. There  was a  collective  gasp as the mob saw Ranma exiting his  van,  being helped out by some girl.
             The  horde  rushed  in  immediately,  preventing  escape.  A confused babble of sounds assaulted the two as everyone tried  to ask questions simultaneously.
             Snatches  of coherent words could be heard  though,  "Ranma-sama, say it isn't so!", "Is it true?", "You can't do this to me, Ranma, I've been saving myself for you!", "Ranma! Why her?!"
             Akane  growled low in the back of her throat. This  was  too much.  She'd  had enough. From the cloudless sky,  a  thunderclap roared  through the parking lot, its sound blasting the crowd  of women to silence.
             "That's enough!" said Akane, "One at a time!"
             One  of  the girls, a redhead with a waist  length braid, in a red dress, pressed closer immediately and said, "We heard from  Ryoga-sempai and Mousse-sempai that you got kicked out of the dorm because you were caught sneaking women in there."
             Ranma had somehow managed to get behind Akane and seemed  to be using her as a shield, "I didn't sneak them in!" he said.
             "It's  true  then! There were women there?" asked  the  same girl.
             "I didn't say that!!" said Ranma desperately.
             "We  also  heard that you were living with  three  beautiful women now!" complained a girl in a blue dress which suited her long, straight, blue hair.
             "Where'd  you hear that?" asked Ranma, who had been more  or less  hiding from everyone since he was kicked out.  Nobody  knew where he was staying.
             "A  redhead  woman with a braid..."  shyly  replied  a  brunette wearing glasses and a green dress. The other women  quickly  nodded  in agreement.
             Akane muttered under her breath, "Ranko."
             "Yes, that was her name, I think." interjected a  woman with long  ginger locks tied into a ponytail that reached the back  of her  knees, "The same girl told me that you told this other  girl you wanted her to stay with you for the rest of your life!" There were more nods and murmurs of agreement.
             Akane's reserves of patience, not too long to begin with had given out, "What business is it of yours anyway!?"
             The crowd broke into general babbling again as various cries to  the  effect of "Is it her?", "Is she the one your  heart  has chosen?",  "Why not me?!" and various permutations  thereof  were echoed.
             Ranma  was  still in shock. His fans never used to  be  this aggressive or self-assertive.
             Another thunderclap blasted them back to silence. Akane  was really  angry now. She took Ranma by the arm and said, "I'm  only saying  this  once!  I am Akane Tendo and  Ranma  is  my..."  she hesitated,  but  anger overruled any  embarrassment,  "Boyfriend!" 
 	"Anybody who has a problem with that, deals with me!" She  put her other hand to her hammer, which she still  wore all  the time,  as though just asking for an excuse to use it.  A few of the women stepped back. A number of them shrugged.  They'd been  claiming that Ranma was their boyfriend for months now,  so who was this newcomer?
             "Why  not  let Ranma answer us, then?"  asked  a  reasonable sounding woman in a black dress.
             All  eyes  turned to Ranma. Not just the mob,  but  quite  a number of people who were merely passing by. He was suddenly  the center of attention. "Um..." he began.
             "Well?"  asked Akane glaring at him. She'd put her pride  on the line here. If he backed down, she intended to wallop him  six feet into the concrete.
             "She's... uh... not exactly... that is to say..."
             "She isn't your girlfriend?" asked everyone simultaneously.
             Akane's  face flushed red with rage and  embarrassment.  Her grip tightened on her hammer. That stupid idiot..!
             "...  I  think...  um...  maybe... fiance  might  actually  be   more accurate," finished Ranma quickly, now also blushing.
             Everyone was shocked into silence. The quiet was  eventually broken  by  a few broken sobs as most of the women  drifted  off. Most  crying,  a rare few, their faces bitter.  Ranma  and  Akane watched them leave and heaved a sigh of relief. Only the woman in the black dress took the news impassively. She had a faint  smile on her face as idly played with a single black rose.
             "What?" asked Akane, not ready to put down her hammer.
             "I  just wanted to congratulate the lucky woman who  managed to  land the infamous Ranma Saotome." said the girl in the  black dress, pleasantly, "Akane Tendo, wasn't it?"
             "Yes." Akane said bowing slightly.
             "Pleased  to meet you, I am Kodachi Kuno.  Sometimes  called the  Black  Rose," she turned to Ranma, "I'm going  to  miss  the antics of those women trying to attract your attention, Ranma. It was..." she paused slightly, "Quite amusing. I hope you two  have a lovely life together," she gave Ranma a quick peck on the cheek before anyone could react, "Good bye."
             She slipped away before either could say another word.
             "Who was that?" asked Akane, confused by Kodachi's speech.
             "She's  the Captain of the Female Division Combat  Athletics Team,"  said Ranma nervously, "She's usually  rather  volatile... I've   never   seen  her  that  calm  before,"   Ranma   shivered involuntarily at the memory.
             Akane turned to Ranma and asked tentatively, "Did you really mean that? I mean about us being engaged? Was that a formal proposal?"
             Ranma,  still  a  bit of a nervous wreck, "NO!"  then  in  a calmer voice, "No. Of course not. I had to tell them something to make  them  go  away. Just telling them you  were  my  girlfriend wouldn't have been enough. Besides... that's what's on our contract, right?"
             "Hmph," said Akane, hurt, "Oh. Well, in that case I'm glad I was of some help then," her words were laced with sarcasm.
             "Akane, I didn't mean that like it sounded..."
             "What do you think it sounded like, huh?" Akane sniffed at him.
             "Like I didn't like you... because its... um... You know. Sort of... like... um... "
             Akane's  expression softened a little. He was so  cute  when she  had him flustered. She gave him a little tap on the back  of the head with her smaller hammer.
             "Come on, you pervert... you're going to be late for class," she said with a smile.
             He smiled back as they went into the building.
             From  inside  the van, mini-Ranko watched them.  Maybe  they thought they'd gotten away, she mused, not a chance of that.  The Black  Rose  woman  had quite a bit of  useful  jealousy  in  her heart...

             As  Ranma walked the hallway with Akane, a few  more  people and  some friends came up to him asking for confirmation  of  the rumors.  Mostly he just nodded and smiled and introduced them  to Akane. Some reactions were a little different though. The  school lecher  clung to Ranma desperately and begged him to say that  it wasn't  so, that his idol hadn't fallen, and so forth.  Every  so often he  made an attempt to fondle Akane, which earned him quite a  few  bumps and no satisfaction at all. It took  a  while,  but Ranma  and  Akane eventually managed to get rid of him  when  his  green  haired girlfriend flew by and dragged him off,  delivering electric shocks to him every few steps.
             "Darling, you're making a spectacle of yourself again!"  she told  him as she pulled the battered lecher along the  corridors. His yelps of pain fading in the distance.
             "There sure are a large number of weirdoes in this school."
             "That's the funny part, Akane. I don't remember them  acting so... extreme before the sem break."
             "Are you saying? That it's my fault?" Akane asked, offended.
             "Well... not necessarily yours, Akane-chan."
             "Yes,"  she conceded, "If that incident back in the  parking lot is any indication at all, Ranko is really looking to stir  up some trouble. We'd better be alert."
             "Nihao, Saotome-sempai," called out a voice behind them with a bad Chinese accent. Ranma and Akane turned to see a timid young girl  in  a conservative dress. She wore glasses and  her  purple hair  was  done up in a severe braid. She said in  a  sympathetic voice, "Shampoo heard news from Mousse-sempai. So sorry you  kick out of dorm."
             "It's  okay, Shampoo. I'm doing alright. This is  Akane,  by the  way. Akane, this is Shampoo she's an exchange  student  from China and one of my friends..."
             The girls exchanged bows. Shampoo peered at Akane for a  few moments then said excitedly, "Oh! Shampoo, remember now! You  the one  they talking about in parking lot. They talk about  marks on face and big hammer! Ranma fiance! Yes? Yes?" she punctuated  her sentence with nods.
             Akane smiled at her enthusiasm and nodded too. Ranma  looked around  rather  embarrassed as people who hadn't heard  about  it picked up the rumor and spread it along.
             "Shampoo have to go now, Sempai, Akane. Shampoo have to meet Mousse-sempai.  He tutoring Shampoo to speak language  betterer!" she seemed to get particularly giggly and excited at the thought. She happily waved goodbye as she dashed off.
             "Lively, isn't she?" Akane asked as Shampoo left.
             "You could say that," Ranma conceded with amusement.
             "Why is she named after a hair care product?" asked Akane.
             "Well, it's customary in their village or something. I don't think it means the same thing in Chinese. It's the way you pronounce it... I think they say it Xian Pu or something like that. Mousse is from the same village. Joketsu-something or the other..."
             As the pair neared the door to the class room, they were met by  a  man  in an elegantly tailored  three  piece  suit.  He  had  a shock of short curled  black  hair  and  was wearing  a pair of expensive horn rimmed glasses.  He  approached them and said, "Truly, it is said that even the most wretched  of dogs has his day, Saotome."
             Ranma pulled a sour face as he saw who it was, "Hey, Kuno."
             "Is  this then the fair lady who has ventured  to  transform the  most lecherous  Ranma  Saotome, into a  model  of  virtue?"  Kuno continued,  facing  Akane, "You make a noble  sacrifice  for  the members of the fairer sex, dear lady. For it will be through your efforts do you rid them of their unhealthy fascination with him." 
             Akane's  face betrayed confusion as Kuno proceeded with  his speech,  lambasting  Ranma  and proclaiming  Akane's  virtue  and nobility  and that she should have courage and  perseverance  for the arduous task of keeping Ranma in line. 
             "Kuno,  I've  got  a class to get to. Is there  a  point  to this?" Ranma interrupted, unable to stand any more.
             "Verily, Saotome, you are the most ill-mannered of curs. You wish  my  purpose then for stopping you in these halls,  I  shall give  it to you.  I merely wished for a chance to meet the  saint who  has managed to capture the most notorious playboy in  Nekomi City and to congratulate you both."
             "Um... Thank you," said Akane not sure what else to say.
             Ranma  smiled as well. Kuno could be an overblown jerk  most of time and he was another of Ranma's major rivals because of Kuno's Combat Athletics Club which frequently entered into rivalry with the Martial Arts Varsity,  but he had a  decent  streak  underneath, "Thanks, Kuno."
             "I shall be on my way, then. Fare thee well," he said with a curt nod as he strode away.
             "Who was that?" asked Akane as they entered the class room.
             "Tatewaki  Kuno, Kodachi's brother. We generally don't  like each  other much. Mostly because I'm a better fighter than he  is and a lot of the time, he ends up trying to ask out women who are after  me-"
	"Well, aren't we Mr. Modesty..." Akane smirked.
	Ranma continued smiling a little, "It's true... anyway, he probably figures now that I have you, they'll  give up on me and go after him..."
             "Which  is  what had better happen,"  said  Akane  severely. Ranma  merely  gave her a look of mild surprise, "Seemed  like  a nice enough person," she added.
             "Yeah, you have to admit he is," conceded Ranma, "At  times. A bit arrogant though. And a little stubborn. And stupid. And--"
	"I think you've made your point, Ranma..." said Akane sourly.
             They sat down near the front. In short order the teacher,  a burly man in his forties, arrived and immediately noticed  Akane, "Excuse me, miss. Are you in this class?"
             "She's auditing it, Onsen-sensei," responded Ranma quickly.
             "I asked her, not you, Saotome." said the teacher  gruffly, "If you're not registered for this class, please step out. No sit ins."
             "Oh great," muttered Ranma to himself.
             "Now, please," said the teacher impatiently.
             "Um...  I'll go wait in the van then. I don't want to  cause any more trouble for you."
             "No,  I  have a better idea. The cafeteria's just  down  the hall  and around the corner. Why don't you get something to  eat, you skipped breakfast again... I'll catch up with you in about an hour or two, okay?"
             "Saotome. Miss. We don't have all day, " the teacher remarked in a bored voice.
             "Sorry,  sensei,"  Ranma replied, then turned to  Akane  and said, "Be careful and try not to attract too much attention," 
             As  Akane walked out of the classroom she gave Ranma a  last backwards  glance  and a smile. Ranma smiled back and  waved  her out.  This  of course sparked an entirely new set of  rumors  and stories  spreading as the teacher began the lesson. Unnoticed  by everyone, Ranko, in her superdeformed mode trailed after Akane.

             Akane found the cafeteria with no problems. She had a little pocket  money, mostly tips from Ucchan's, which she used  to  get herself some food. She was so upset with Ranko this morning  that she  had  entirely  forgotten to eat. She chose a  table  in  the corner  and tried to make herself as inconspicuous  as  possible. Little chance of that. The story about her and Ranma was  already so   widespread  that  practically  everyone  knew  her  by   the description. Not that she could hide her facial markings, nor was a five foot long mallet all that easy to hide either.
             Without  her  realizing it, several dozen  men  had  already moved  into the closest tables and had begun to subtly  look  her over.  They  liked what they saw. In fact, they loved  what  they saw.  In a matter of minutes, practically every man who had  seen her  (and  a  few women as well) were firmly  in  love  with  the goddess of conflicts, Akane Tendo. Most were almost ready to work up  the courage to ask her out, but for the fear that they  would get  their  heads kicked in if Saotome found out.   Underneath  a table, mini-Ranko was waving around a smoking little bottle and chanting under her breath. She had worked out a spell which was meant to make Akane absolutely irresistible... And she was doing a good job of it too...
             Within  half  an hour of Akane seating herself  there,  four long  standing  relationships  had broken up,  one  proposal  for marriage  was shelved, a dozen men got slapped for letting  their attention  wander, and at least one man was electrocuted  by  his rather volatile alien fiance. 
             Ryoga,  who'd  been up until now  peacefully  devouring  his lunch,  finally looked in Akane's direction. He knew  she  looked familiar  from  somewhere... Then he remembered  the  night  they kicked  Saotome out. He nodded idly to himself, that yes  it  was her... when the spell finally caught up with him as well...
             Now there's something that has to be understood about Ryoga. He didn't see the world the same way other people did. Since  his fiance left him a few years ago, his perceptions were  constantly filtered through lenses of depression, anger or love sickness. It was part of the reason why he kept getting lost. He was so gloomy or seething that he would consistently misunderstand the simplest directions people gave to him. There were times when he would suddenly change directions, ignore road  signs  and the  most  obvious landmarks because of  a scene he was replaying in his head. Something about Ranko's  spell  had affected  Ryoga... The tugging at his heart strings by the  spell urged  him up. Sped him forward. He walked like a man in a  daze. He was heading towards love... that was all he knew.
             Ryoga  walked  directly  towards Akane's table.  He  made  a straight line, every so often, kicking a table out of the way  or absently picking up students and tossing them over his  shoulder. His   eyes  focused  firmly  forward.  Ranko  could   see   Ryoga approaching  Akane with a glazed adoring expression on  his  face and chuckled to herself, "This is so perfect...". 
             Ryoga  proceeded  towards Akane's table. As he  reached  the opposite  side  of  the table, Akane looked up  and  noticed  him approaching.  She  recognized him immediately as one  of  Ranma's friends.  She was about to say something in greeting  when  Ryoga suddenly  made  a ninety degree turn and stomped off...  He  went through the door, tearing it from its hinges and disappeared from sight.
             Mini-Ranko,  Akane,  and just about everyone  else  wondered what that was all about. Akane didn't have much time to mull over it as she saw a small group of women approaching her. "They  look familiar  for some reason..." mused Akane, "They were members  of that mob!" Akane put one hand to her hammer just in case...

             Ranma walked into the cafeteria and noted idly that  someone had torn the doors from their hinges again. Probably Ryoga losing his  temper  again,  he mused. The men who  had  taken  positions around  Akane's  table quietly but quickly drifted  away,  before Ranma  had  a  chance to notice them.  He  found  Akane  chatting animatedly,  thick as thieves, with some girls who he knew to  be from his fan club. He approached cautiously.
             They all noticed him more or less simultaneously. Except for one, who still had her nose in a book. Akane smiled up at him  as the other girls simultaneously said, "Hi, Ranma."
             The  girls all looked Ranma over with eager looks  on  their faces. One of the girls asked Akane, "Really? In the bathroom?"
             Akane  smirked then nodded. The girls all blushed and  there was even more awe in their faces than they normally displayed as they  looked at Ranma.
             "We'd better get going, Akane,  we've got classes." said the girl  with the book who stood up, blushing as she gave Ranma a quick glance. The other  girls  also quickly made their excuses and left before Ranma had a chance  to say anything.
             "Bye, guys," said Akane waving.
             Ranma sat opposite Akane and asked, smiling, "You seem to be getting along with... er... them."
             Akane nodded, "They're really very nice once you get to know them. They seemed a lot more reasonable just now, actually."
             Ranma  nodded, then said suddenly, "So, what were  you  guys talking about?"
             "Nothing  much. Girl stuff. You wouldn't understand,"  Akane said mysteriously.
             "Hah.  If  Ranko were here, that wouldn't be a  problem  now would it?"
             "Maybe not. Why do you ask though?"
             "Well... I was having a sneezing fit back in class..."
             "You  thought  we were talking about you? Please,  how  self centered can you get!" Akane did her best to cover up her  blush. 
             What  was even more embarrassing was the fact that they had  been talking about him.
             "I  didn't  say that, I was just asking  politely,  okay?!" replied Ranma sharply.
             "No it is not okay! Keep your nose out of my business!!"
             "Fine then! Be that way! I don't know why I bother with  you anyway!" he said standing up.
             "Fine!!" Akane said as she walloped him into the floor.  She realized  belatedly  that people were staring.  The  rumor  mills cranked up again this time regarding the `one day fiance'.
             "Ow... what did you do that for?" groaned Ranma as he  stood up, slowly.
             Akane just looked at the ground, looking remorseful.
             "Akane, what's wrong... I'm sorry I blew up..."
             Akane looked into his eyes and said, "I'm sorry too. I  lost my  temper.  Actually  we were talking about you...  I  was  just embarrassed..."
             "Aw,  come on Akane, you don't have to be embarrassed  about that sort of thing with me..."
             Akane  merely smiled at him, "If your classes are  over,  we may as well get going, then..."
             "Sure  thing," Ranma smiled back, as they  started  walking, "By the way... what did they say about me?"
             "That's  for  me to know, Ranma..."  Akane  added  wickedly, "Besides I told them a few things they didn't know about you..."
             "Like what?" asked Ranma worried.
             "Like where your birthmark is..."
             "You didn't! Which one..?"
             "All of them..."
             Their voices faded out of the cafeteria as they stepped into the  hall.  In  the  hours to come,  more  stories  and  theories regarding  the two were passed around, and a few of the  students decided to organize amongst themselves an Akane Tendo Fan Club...

             Mini-Ranko  had been listening to the entire  exchange  from her perch on a chair's backrest. The groupies had spoken at length  of Ranma's looks, his honor, his kindness, his cute tush...
             She  had  to admit... Ranma wasn't all that bad  looking  or that bad a person if she took the time to think about it. But one way  or another, she was going to get back home.  She  considered talking to him about it, but quickly discarded that. Nice guy  or not, she knew he wouldn't let go of Akane that easily...
             Ranko's  thoughts  were  suddenly interrupted  by  a  small, sugary sweet voice saying "Oh! How cute! Martinique! Martinique!" The five inch tall Ranko suddenly felt herself grabbed and hugged almost to asphyxiation by Azusa Shiratori. Azusa was actually  in her  early twenties, but her mental and physical development  had been  arrested somewhere around the age of twelve. This left  her with  an  inclination  towards being  disgustingly  cute  and  an overwhelming urge to grab anything she considered cute which came within  grasping  range, take it home and give it a disgustingly cute  French name,  not necessarily in that order. Added to all of  the  extra affection  Ranko  had  been  pumping  into  the air ,  this resulted in a seriously and uniquely unstable personality.
             "OH, Martinique!" said the girl, cuddling Ranko's  doll-like form.  The superdeformed Ranko, now being called Martinique,  was hugged  to  unconsciousness and carried off by Azusa  who  hummed a cute  little  song (which she had named Robispiere, the week previous) under her breath as she skipped  to  her  next class. Before she lost consciousness, Ranko noted to herself that she might have overdone the affection spell just a little...

             Kodachi  watched Akane and Ranma leave with a cold gleam  in her  eye. So the little lovers weren't getting along  so  well... That  little  tramp. She knew perfectly well, what Akane  was  up to... Even now she could see it in the eyes of the men all around her...  they  didn't  want the Black  Rose  anymore  they  wanted that... that... that hammer wielding hussy! The red headed  woman had  said  so...  The  Black Rose was the queen  of  NIT  and  no newcomer was going to take that away from her... Kodachi  would  make  Akane Tendo pay.  Pay  most  dearly... Unable to stop the mirth which bubbled up from the depths of  her  soul,  she  let  loose with a chillingly maniacal  laugh  as  she strode  out  of  the cafeteria, oblivious  to  the  stares  which followed her. She had so much to plan...

             Ranko finally managed to get away from Azusa. It took her an hour  and  it required her to hide in one of the lady's room's cubicles,  but  she'd finally  managed  to get away. She was worn out from all  of  her power  use,  but she knew it was well worth it.  She  transformed herself  back  to her normal form and leaned  against  the  white tiled wall for a while, just as a cute girl with long straight pink hair came into the comfort room. The girl glanced at her strangely for a moment, but shrugged and calmly walked to the stand up urinals. Ranko was just about to leave when the door opened  and someone else entered. It took a moment for her to figure out that she had been hiding in the wrong comfort room the whole time... this was the MEN's room...



PART IV: Of Warm Hearts and Cold Shoulders.

             "So,  Ranchan,  any luck?" asked Ukyou as  Ranma  and  Akane entered  Ucchan's.  It was eight in the evening  and  the dinner crowd was barely starting to thin out.
             "Nope. Still nothing." muttered Ranma as he and Akane put on their  aprons, "Everybody either wants too much or the  rooms are too small for one person, much less three..."
             Ukyou smiled faintly, "Oh, well..."
             "We're checking out another place tomorrow, though," said Akane brightly.
             Ukyou merely nodded absently.
             When  they  finally had a quiet moment, an hour  or so later,  the three settled down behind the counter.
             "Where's Ranko?" asked Akane. She needed to have a long talk with her cousin... communication done by way of hammer...
             Ukyou frowned, "Wasn't she with you? She called and told  me something about not being able to make her shift," she shrugged, "I don't  pretend to understand Ranko, Akane."
             "Me neither," replied Akane, as she stood up to clean up one of the tables. 
             A ragged voice from the door suddenly asked, "Where am I?"
             Standing  in  the open doorway was the  bedraggled  form  of Ryoga. He'd been walking since early afternoon and the last place he  clearly remembered had a lot of snow and penguins...  but  he knew  he was supposed to find... glove? dove? Something...  when  he got there...
             "Ranma, isn't that your friend from school?" asked Akane.
             "Hey, Ryoga... what are you doing here?" asked Ranma  before he realized that Ryoga didn't have any idea either.
             A look of astonishment crept over Ukyou's features,  "R-r-r-Ryoga..?"
             "Who? Wha--?" Ryoga looked up and saw Ukyou's face. He had a blank  expression on his face as no recognition dawned.  Then  he looked at Ranma and asked, "Ranma, what are you doing here?"
             "I work here you idiot! You got lost again, huh?"
             "Who says I get lost--?" said Ryoga.
             Ukyou suddenly pulled out a gigantic spatula the size of snowshovel from the  broom closet and rushed towards Ryoga, with murder in her eyes.
             Ryoga  managed  to get out of the way as  Ranma  caught  the spatula on the down swing and embedded it into the floor.
             "Ucchan, what are you doing?!" asked Ranma.
             "I'm going to kill that jackass!!" she said shooting Ryoga a venomous look.
             "Excuse me, do we know each other?" asked Ryoga bewildered.
             Ukyou let go of the spatula's handle and grabbed  Ryoga by the shirt front, screaming sarcastically in his face,  "Do  we  know  each other?! DO WE KNOW EACH OTHER!?!"
             "I asked you first," said Ryoga peevishly.
             "We were engaged for two years before you left me at the altar, you jackass!!" said Ukyou enraged.
             A look of shock passed over Ryoga's eyes as he said, "Ukyou? But you're a guy, Ukyou's not a--"
             "You  bet  your ass, I'm Ukyou, sugar..." she  said  ripping open the top few buttons of her shirt, showing Ryouga a bit of cleavage. Ryouga's eyes focused there for a few seconds before he finally managed to bring his gaze back up to her face. Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes... and blood was threatening to come out his nose...
             "Now you're going to pay!" Ukyou screamed as she tore the spatula free from the floor.
             "Ukyou! It is you! I've been looking for you for years!" Ryoga said suddenly hugging her and crushing her to him. As Ryoga sobbed  into  Ukyou's shoulder, you could almost  hear  her  ribs cracking under the strain. Unable to breathe, Ukyou released her hold on the giant spatula out of surprise which Ranma promptly kicked a discreet distance away.
             "Excuse me, er... Ryoga, right?" said Akane.
             Ryoga looked up from Ukyou's shoulder and said in a  puzzled tone, "Yes?"
             "Maybe you should let go of Ukyou now. I don't think she can breathe..." continued Akane.
             "Huh?"  asked Ryoga, now looking at Ukyou and  surprised  to find  that his beloved's face was a ghastly bluish purple  color. He quickly let go saying "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" as Ukyou fell to the ground, struggling for air. 
             "Are you alright?" Ryoga asked Ukyou.
             The color had finally come beck into her face, "No thanks to you, you jackass..."
             Ukyou's  cut  herself off in mid sentence as she  and  Ryoga stared at each other. Ukyou's gaze was full of anger and  outrage and  pain. Ryoga had a worshipful look on his face. Almost as  if he'd  been  in darkness all his life and had  finally  found  the light.  They continues staring at each other for several  minutes and the painful silence dragged on.
             "Ranma," whispered Akane, "Do you know what's going on?"
             "I  have  no idea," he whispered back,  "Although  I  didn't realize  that  these  two even knew each other,  much  less  were fiances..."
             "Maybe we should give them some privacy..."
             "Heck, no! I want to see how this turns out..."
             "Ranma..!" Akane whispered fiercely.
             The silence continued. Ranma and Akane eventually picked the two up off the floor and seated them at a booth, to keep them out of  the  way of the customers. The entire  time,  they  continued staring at each other. Eventually, the customers had eaten  their fill and left, Ranma was in the process of putting away the money in  the cash register, and Akane was washing the dirty dishes  in the  back, when Ryoga finally said hesitantly, "So this is  where you are-"
             "Yes," Ukyou snapped coldly.
             "I tried to find you after the wedding-"
             "That wasn't a weddong it was a farce." Ukyou returned in a brittle voice.
             "Um... nobody would tell me where you'd gone-" Ryouga tried to continue.
             "I  didn't  want to be found," she replied. You  could  have frozen ice cubes with that voice, "Especially not by you."
             Ryoga  finally  noticed  Ranma who  was  making  himself  as inconspicuous  as  possible behind the counter.  He  had  already finished  with the cash register and was trying hard not to  make it look like he was eavesdropping.
             Ryoga suddenly said, "Ranma, do you mind? This is a  private conversation--"
             "No, Ranchan. Stay," interrupted Ukyou, "I've got nothing to discuss with this jackass that can't be said in front of my  best friend."
             Ryoga's eyes suddenly lit up with anger, "What did you  call Ranma?!"
             "Ranchan,"  said  Ukyou  coolly, "You  remember...  my  best friend from high school. I'm pretty sure I mentioned him once  or twice. How do you know him?"
             "You  mentioned  him  practically every  other  day,"  Ryoga snarled,  "You  mean to tell me that your 'Darling  Ranchan'  was Ranma  all  along?!" Ryoga turned to Ranma, "We lived  under  the same roof for two years and you never mentioned this once?!!?"
             "Hey!"  said  Ranma stepping back. He'd  fought  with  Ryoga before and he knew he was better, but Ryoga had the edge when  it came  to strength and endurance, "You never said  anything  about Ukyou! All you ever did was mope about how your fiance left  you! You mean you were Ryochan?"
             "What a coincidence, Ryoga," she said his name with the same inflections one would use for referring to a maggot, "You used to live  with  Ranma... now he's living with me," she  said  with  a cruel smile.
             Ryoga's head swiveled back and forth between the two.  Ukyou was coolly unreadable and Ranma had a look of panic on his  face. You could almost see steam rising from Ryoga's head as he  rushed Ranma,  screaming, "You already have a fiance, but you're  living with my Ukyou! I will not have it Saotome! Prepare to die!!"
             Ryoga  crashed through the counter and nearly  smashed  into Ranma. Ranma easily stepped to one side and delivered a strike to the back of Ryoga's neck which should by rights have dropped him. All it did was make Ryoga angrier as he began to take wild swings at Ranma, which Ranma easily blocked or avoided.
             "Ryoga! Calm down man, it's not what you think!" said  Ranma desperately. He knew full well that when Ryoga was this  steamed, he was virtually unstoppable... short of ramming him into a steel wall and even that wasn't guaranteed to work.
             Akane stepped out of the kitchen area to see Ranma and Ryoga tearing up the counter and some of the tables. Ukyou was  sitting in  one  corner looking as though she were just  about  ready  to break  down.  Akane was the Goddess of Conflicts, and  she  could feel a massive conflict of emotions within Ukyou...
             "What  is going on out here?!" she said. Unfortunately,  she picked the wrong time to say it. Ranma was momentarily distracted allowing  Ryoga to get his hands on Ranma's neck and pick him  up like a rag doll.
             "Gotcha!  Now  you  will pay  Saotome!"  Ryoga's  voice  was already bordering on the irrational, "For ruining my life and for stealing my Ukyou!!"
             Akane didn't even hear him ranting, she saw her Ranma  being attacked  and she acted immediately. Pulling out her mallet,  she swung back and hammered him across the back, sending both him and Ranma  flying towards the open front door.  Unfortunately,  Ranko was just on her way in, humming a happy tune.
             Ranma  and Ryoga slammed into Ranko. Ryoga lost his grip  on Ranma  at  roughly the same moment that Ranma made  contact  with Ranko,  resulting in his transformation. All three were not  hurt beyond  simple  bruises, but Ryoga was a little  stunned  by  the hammer  blow.  He  shook his head to  clear  it,  looking  around desperately for Ranma, who had disappeared. "The little  coward's run off again," he snarled as he stood up.
             At  his feet, a pair of attractive redheads, twins no  doubt he thought, cowered, "Where'd he go?!" he snarled at the one with the  shorter braid. She raised a trembling hand and pointed  down the street.
             With  a  nod,  Ryoga  took  off  heading  in  the   opposite direction.   The  two  redheads  blinked  in  confusion,  as   he disappeared in the distance.
             "What's  going  on?"  asked  Ranko,  trying  to  disentangle herself from Ranma.
             "Do  you  really think I know?" said Ranma,  irritated.  She surveyed   herself   and   muttered,  "I   never   thought   this transformation thing could come in handy."
             Akane  stepped out of the door and saw them on  the  ground, trying  to pick themselves up, but still locked in what  appeared to be some sort of a hug. She made a small snarling noise at  the back of her throat which was echoed by distant thunder.
             Ranko  noticed  her and said suddenly in a coy  voice,  "Oh, Ranma! We mustn't! What if Akane were to catch us?! Besides we're both women!"
             "What are you babbling about!?" said Ranma, who had  finally managed to get her arms free. She noticed a shadow falling on her created  by the light of Ucchan's doorway... she looked  up  into the seething face of Akane.
             Akane picked up the two and easily separated them, "Ranma, I can  appreciate  that you had to get away from  Ryoga...  but  at least  have  the  decency  not  to  look  like  you're   enjoying yourself..."
             Ranko  glomped onto Ranma, transforming him again, "Ah,  but my  darling cousin, if he so desperately wants me why  should  you stop  him? You can't really blame him.. er... her... Akane,  it's your  own fault, you know..." she said airily. Ranko snuggled  up to  the now female Ranma some more and said, "Stop being so  shy, Darling..." 
             Ranma  gently tried to pushed her away and said,  "Will  you stop that!?!"
             Akane picked Ranko up by the collar and tossed her over  her shoulder,  "What's going on Ranma!? Why was Ryoga trying to  kill you?!"
             "Stop   trying  to  maul  my  beautiful  body  you   violent maniac..." said Ranko as she slowly picked herself up.
             "Why  does everyone keep asking me?" asked Ranma,  "I'm  the innocent  bystander here..." she leaned himself against the  wall next to the door and rubbed at her injuries. Those were going  to be sore in the morning. 
             Ukyou stepped out of the restaurant herself. Akane, thinking fast reached out and tagged Ranma on the chest, turning him  back into his male form. 
             "So where did Ryoga go?" she asked in a brittle voice.
             "Gone... he wandered off." replied Ranma.
             Ranko took one good look at Ukyou's emotional state and  was surprised  by what she found... she hid a smirk from  the  others and  simply declared, "Well, I'm exhausted. I'm going back up  to the room to sleep," as she walked into the restaurant, she  said, "By the way, Ranma, Tate-kun sends his regards..." 
             Ranma  frowned, "Tate-kun? Who's Tate-kun?" he  asked  himself, but at the moment it was less important than Ukyou's problem...
             "Ucchan, do you want to talk about it?" he asked Ukyou.
             "We're  your  friends  Ukyou. Please  let  us  help,"  Akane pleaded.
             "I'm  not sure you can," Ukyou said with a small sad  smile, "Maybe it's already to late."
             "It's  never too late," said Akane with a certain  sense  of authority, "Nothing is ever totally irrevocable..."
             Ukyou sighed and shook her head sadly, as she gestured  them into  the  restaurant.  Ranma and Akane  looked  at  each  other, shrugged  and followed. They went through the motions of  closing up  the restaurant before Ukyou finally sat the two of them  down at one booth and talked...
             "Ranma, do you remember my last letter to you?" Ukyou began.
             "Yeah.  I  still have it around here somewhere..."  he  said thinking about rooting through the various junk he had piled in his room.
             "No, don't bother. Do you remember what I said there?"
             "Yeah. That you were getting married to this guy you met and that  you two were really happy. I called you on the day  of  the wedding but your roommates told me you'd moved out already.  They never  told  me  why," Ranma's brow furrowed  in  thought,  "Your fiance was Ryoga?"
             Ukyou   nodded.  "We  were  supposed  to  get   married   on Valentine's  Day,  I had the wedding hall and the  reception  and everything was ready."
             "What happened?" asked Ranma.
             "Then  he disappears. I waited at the wedding hall  for  six days  for  him.  He never showed up... I was  so  humiliated!  My entire  family was there... my friends..." Ukyou's voice  was laced  with bitterness and tears were forming at the  corners  of her eyes.
             "That's  so  sad,"  said  Akane laying  a  hand  on  Ukyou's shoulder.
             Ukyou smiled faintly in Akane's direction then asked,  "This part  was  always one of the hardest to tell Akane...  Could  you please get me some water?"
             Akane nodded and headed towards the kitchen.
             "Since  that day, I've tried to forget that I was a  woman," Ukyou  continued now addressing only Ranma, "I  started  dressing like  a man, acting like one... I didn't want to take the  chance of  having  my heart broken again. I left Tokyo, moved  out  here where nobody knew me... then I just sort of reestablished  myself as  Ukyou Kuonji, a practical person who doesn't care about  love or sentiment... At least until a few weeks ago."
             "Why? What happened then?" Ranma asked.
             Ukyou blushed and gave a shy smile. For the first time since she  realized who Ranma really was, she looked  very  feminine... "You came back, Ranchan. My best friend in the world came back."
             "Here's your water Ukyou," said Akane, suddenly stepping out of the kitchen.
             Ranma  had a look of confused shock and Ukyou  was  blushing red.  Akane looked at the two, as she sat and asked in a  puzzled tone, "Is something wrong?"
             "Nooo... nothing's wrong at all..." said Ranma incoherently.
             "Anyway,"  said  Ukyou  without  missing  a  beat,  blushing furiously,  "I  was probably just wishing...  it  would  probably never have worked out. Him being already engaged to someone else and all..."
             "Yeah...  I  guess..." said Ranma,  suspiciously,  "I  never realized,  though..." he managed to stop himself in time when  he noticed that Akane was here.
             "Um... are you talking about Ryoga?" asked Akane, unclear.
             "No,"  said  Ukyou  clearly,  "Ryoga  was  someone  I  never expected to see again. I never want to see him again," she folded her arms and her mouth became a thin hard line.
             "Ucchan..."  Ranma  said,   "Maybe  if  you  talked  to  him first... Get his side. He's not that bad a guy--"
             "There  can  be no forgiveness. If he shows up  around  here I'll put him in the hospital," she said, cracking her knuckles.
             Akane  said,  "I agree with Ranma, Ukyou. I saw the  way  he looked at you. He's still in love with you..."
             "Hmph," Ukyou sniffed, "Maybe he just realized how much he's lost..." 
             "You know that might be it..." said Ranma slowly.
             "What do you mean?" asked Ukyou.
             "Maybe Ryoga got lost on the way to the wedding hall."
             Ukyou frowned, "The hotel we were staying in was right  next to the wedding hall, how can you get lost on his way there?"
             Ranma smirked, "This is Ryoga we're talking about. He  gets lost  going across the street. It takes him to hours to find  the bathroom in a one bedroom apartment. The man has the world's most pathetic sense of direction."
             "He  wasn't like that when I knew him... Nobody's  sense  of direction could be that bad..." said Ukyou dubiously.
             "His  is. Trust me. You can ask anybody at  the  University. How  else do you explain the fact that this place is only  a  few blocks  from where he lives, but he's never been here before?  We didn't  used to let him leave the dorm alone because  it  usually took him weeks to get back.
             "No  matter.  I  don't care what  happens  to  that  jackass anymore as long as he doesn't show up here," she said bitterly as she  stood  up, "I'm going to bed now, guys. Just  turn  out  the lights when you turn in, Okay?"
             "Sure thing, Ukyou," said Ranma.
             Ranma  and Akane watched as Ukyou climbed up the  stairs  to her  apartment.  Ranma was a little confused by  what  Ukyou  had said...  He'd always considered Ukyou a friend, but never did  he think that she felt that way about him. And Ryoga, while a rival, was  also a friend of his... There was only one thing that  could be done. 
             Akane  noticed  Ranma's look of distraction and  said,  "You want to help them don't you?"
             "Is it that obvious?"
             "A little. So, what do you think we should do?"
             "I  don't know yet... maybe if we got Ryoga's side we  might have something more to work with..."
             "Say no more..." she said brightly as she dragged Ranma  out of his seat, "Follow me, we can still catch up to him."
             "Where are we going?" asked Ranma.
             "The bathroom."
             "What? How's that going to find Ryoga?"
             "I need water to move through, silly..."
             "Oh, yeah... you mentioned that."
             She  nodded as they entered the bath. Akane filled a  bucket of water and set it down in front of them.
             "Do  I  have  to  hold  my  breath?"  Ranma  asked   looking incredulously at the bucket.
             "No,  just hold onto me..." she said putting her arm  around Ranma's waist.  
             "Er... like this?" he said putting a tentative hand to  hold her shoulder.
             Akane  frowned at him, "Hold on tighter, Ranma if you  don't want to get stranded in between."
             "I'm holding already, I'm holding..." 
             "Erhk!  Not  that tight, you idiot!" she squeaked  as  Ranma released his grip, "That's better. Here we go!"
             Akane  jumped into the bucket, pulling Ranma in  after  her. Ranma  didn't even have time to register what he saw  during  the journey. One moment, he was in Ukyou's bathroom, the next he  was standing waist deep in a public bath. The women's section.
             Most  of the women currently had their backs to Ranma  which was a good thing. Considering how vigorously they defended  their own virtue against peeping toms. Case in point. Ryoga Hibiki.
             Ryoga,  when his rage had finally run out, had  fallen  into the  black pits of depression. He had wandered into the baths  by accident.  In his state of mind, he'd failed to notice  precisely where  he was and was only snapped out of it finally  by  finding himself  in  the  center of screaming circle of  women  who  were pitching wooden buckets, plastic chairs, and anything else  which came  in handy with uncanny accuracy. Ryoga had managed to  avert his  eyes quickly enough to avoid a nosebleed, but with his  eyes closed, he couldn't find his way out either. Some of those bucket strikes were starting to hurt too...
             Screams of "Pervert!" "Pig!" Get out of here!" were  already echoing  through  the  baths. So Akane's sudden  shout  of  "Stop looking you, pervert!" at Ranma when she realized where they were was hardly noticed.
             Ranma on the other hand didn't bother to avert his gaze.  He quickly  dashed past the women and grabbed Ryoga by  the  collar, hauling  him out of there as quickly as he could. Of course  this resulted in a fresh series of screams and thrown items.  
             Shouts  to  the  effect  of,  "Another  one!",  "Get  him!", "They're probably in cahoots!", "Isn't that Ranma?" 
             Ranma sprinted out at full speed. In the back of his mind he mused  that  his reputation was probably ruined...  Somebody  was going  to  pay  for this. Following close  on  his  heels,  Akane finally managed to catch up with him.
             "Why didn't you tell me we were going to end up in a women's bath, you idiot?!" asked Ranma.
             "How  was I supposed to know your idiot friend would  wander into one!?" she retorted angrily.
             "Is  it safe to look now?" Ryoga asked worriedly as  he  was dragged along.
             "Shut up!" Ranma and Akane said simultaneously.
             As they finally ran out of the baths, they turned the corner and entered an alley. They finally stopped, breathing hard.
             "I think we lost them..." said Ranma.
             "Where are we?" asked Akane.
             "It looked like the bath of the women's dorm..."  muttered Ranma.
             Akane  frowned,  "How would you know what the  women's  bath looks like?"
             "Er... I mean the outside, Akane."
             Akane merely glared at him.
             "Is it safe to look now?" repeated Ryoga in the same tone of voice, his eyes firmly screwed shut.
             Ranma sighed, "Yeah, its safe, you idiot."
             Ryoga frowned at the voice before he opened his eyes. 
             When  he saw Ranma he immediately went into a wild lunge  at him, "I'm going to kill you Saotome!"
             Ranma  quickly borrowed Akane's mallet and  easily  hammered him into the ground.
             "I just saved your bacon in there, Ryoga! Doesn't that count for something?"
             "Do you think pulling me out of a women's bath can take away all  of  the pain you've caused me?" Ryoga asked  angrily  as  he picked himself up.
             "What  are  you babbling about?" asked Akane,  grabbing  her hammer back from Ranma.
             "You must have been laughing the whole time, Ranma," he said bitterly,  "Ukyou  always talked about her  Ranchan...  her  best friend... she was always comparing the two of us, you know... She always  said Ranchan was her best friend, but she made you  sound more like an old boyfriend..."
             "I  didn't know, Ryoga. I only found out about this now.  We were   just  friends..."  complained  Ranma,  "And  if  its   any consolation, when she did write to me, she'd keep going on and on about her Ryochan--"
             "Enough  talk  Ranma it won't save you--" he paused  as  the words  finally reached his brain, "You mean she used to  call  me Ryochan in her letters?"
             "Who  else could she be talking about? She mentioned  fangs, bandannas,  hideously  strong...  how many guys  answer  to  that description?" Ranma shrugged.
             Ryoga's face darkened again, "That still doesn't change  the fact  that you're living with her... she said so,  Ukyou  doesn't lie..."
             "We're living with her..." said Akane suddenly.
             Ryoga looked at the two of them, "Huh?"
             "Ranma  is  living with her, but so am I and so  is  Ranko," Akane continued.
             "After you kicked me out of the dorm, I didn't have anywhere to  stay... it was just lucky I ended up there and she offered us a place to stay for the night," Ranma  thought about it, "That was about three weeks ago..."
             "You   mean...  you  two  aren't  living   together   living  together... you're just staying under the same roof?" said  Ryoga in a puzzled tone.
             "Precisely,"  answered  Akane,  "You've got  nothing  to  be jealous about there."
             "But, she's really mad at you, you know..." said Ranma.
             Ryoga suddenly slumped to the ground, "I know, I know... I'm not  even  sure  I can make her listen to  me... but if she did,  I  could  explain everything..."
             Akane  smiled  at him and put a hand on his  shoulder,  "I'm sure  you could Ryoga-kun... but we've got to find a way to  make her listen. We'll help you if we can..."
             Ryoga  couldn't help but smile back at her,  "Really?  Thank you. Thank you very much..." he got back to his feet.
             "So what really did happen?" asked Ranma.
             "Let's  talk  about it on the way to the  dorm..."  he  said starting  off in a random direction. Ranma blinked as he  steered Ryoga in the proper direction and gestured to Akane to follow.
             "Basically,"  Ryoga said as they walked, Ranma and Akane  on either side of him to keep him on the right track, "We were going to be married. Her family liked me and said it was a good  match. Her  dad  even promised to give me the family's restaurant  as  a dowry...  The night before the wedding, we had an  argument...  I don't even remember what it was about... Anyway, I went on a walk that  night, wondering about my marriage, about how things  would change...  you know, trying to sort things out in my head...  the next thing I know its 2 A.M. in the morning and I'm in some place called Kansas."
             Ranma and Akane shared incredulous looks.
             Ryoga shook his head at the memory, "It took me two weeks to get  back... by then Ukyou had disappeared. No one would tell  me where  she  went  and  her  family  wouldn't  even  talk  to   me anymore..."  he continued sadly, "I haven't been able to find  my way  around properly since. I ended up coming here to continue  my education again. That's what happened."
             They  walked on  in silence as  Ryoga's  two  companions mulled  over his story. "Well, that's what I told her... that you'd gotten lost... but  she didn't buy it," said Ranma finally.
             "Do  you  really  think  you  can  help  me?"  asked   Ryoga desperately as they dropped him off at the dorm.
             "We  can  help you," said Akane with conviction as they guided him to the front door,  "Count  on it."
	Ryoga bowed and thanked them both, as he stumbled into the dorm. It was highly likely that he would take the better part of the evening looking for his room, but at least he was there. As he disappeared into the building, Ranma turned to Akane and said skeptically, "Do you really think we can help him?"
	Akane smiled, "We live with the goddess of affection, I'm sure Ranko would be glad to help..."
	Ranma still looked doubtful, "Ranko? Help? Of her own free will? "
	"She likes Ukyou. She'd probably be glad to do it."
	Ranma got a strange look on his face as an idle thought crossed his mind, "She... likes... Ukyou?"
	Akane noticed the look and gave him a knock on the head, "Not like that, you pervert!" she calmed down a little, "She likes the fact that Ukyou's an independent woman. She almost respects that..."
	"I suppose..." he replied, still doubtful.
	Akane gave Ranma a warm smile as she took his arm, "Come on, we've still got that other place to check out tomorrow. We want to get plenty of rest."
	Ranma nodded and looked around, "How are we getting home anyway? Its a pretty long walk..."
	"Same way we got here, you big silly," Akane laughed, dragging him to a puddle of water that had collected at a nearby faucet.
	"Aw, man..."

	They did indeed check out the other place the following day... for a change, all three of them.
	"Is this place what I think it is, Akane-chan?" asked Ranma incredulously.
	"Looks like it," Akane replied, also slightly stunned.
	"I like it!" said Ranko with conviction, smiling broadly as she surveyed the grounds.
	"Can we afford this?" asked Ranma finally, his surprise still plain on his face.
	Akane turned to him and said, "This was actually the cheapest place so far... its got an even lower price than that apartment downtown..."
	Ranko had already wandered off to explore the garden.
	"Why are they renting this place out so cheap? It's huge! It's got its own grounds and everything, but it costs less than a fleabag one room apartment? There's gotta be something wrong with it," said Ranma a little uncertainly.
	"Nothing I could find, Ranma. I guess people just generally don't want to live here..." said Akane.
	"I can't really blame them," he replied, glancing up at the somewhat derelict old structure...
	"We'll take it!" said Ranko enthusiastically, bouncing back to the two.
	"I've still got my doubts about this..." said Ranma putting a hand at Akane's shoulder...
	Akane smiled at him, "No... this place feels right, Ranma."
	"Aw c'mon, Saotome!" said Ranko happily, "This is perfect! Where else would you expect a pair of goddesses to live but at a temple?"