O.K...
I admit it I feel all warm and comfy writing first person...And I refuse
to stop just because I change perspectives....I suppose a million grade 9
teachers are spinning in their graves right now... allong with anyone dead
and anywhere qualified in English lit....but I don't care....
They gave me a degree in Creative Writing... and abuse of style is
creative right? ....uh....right?
Dreams...a rude awakening and a walk.
I can't always tell I'm dreaming. I mean this: sit me down and
make me watch Akira again or let me stop and listen to the rantings of the
latest crazy person at the corner of Bloor and Bathurst and I will tell
you 9 times out of ten that I am awake....painfully awake.
But, when I'm sleeping I don't have this sort of awareness...well not all
the time. Sometimes I get caught in the same dream night after night and
after a while even my subconcious will begin to catch on. Don't get me
wrong, I suspect that my subconcious is actually a bit smarter than the
waking me...it just takes awhile sometimes.
Anyway, recurring dreams with me are not all that unusual and after a
while I can usually *nudge* things in the way I want them to go a little
bit once I've reached a point where I manage to have both of the
following:
a) I realize that I'm dreaming.
b) I am just about to be bent, folded or mutalated.
Sometimes it was just a strange awareness of what was going on almost as
if I was sitting in a theater watching the whole event from a distance...I
regretfully admit I once had a Sailor Moon dream like this...I was me but
somehow not quite me....the whole idea behind that particulair dream was
that Amy (yes, she was the Dub version...and also at least
19...honest!!!!) had convinced me to change sex briefly to attract a cute
redheaded Yoma....yes, female. (Do other people have anime dreams? I do
and end up in this situation where I "translate" characters into real-life
breathing people....or I suddenly get the 16 colour treatment...my brain
scares me.)
I'dd had this one before - a few times actually. I usually started this
epesode a little before this but maybe I had and just realized what was
going on....
***
I turned as Nene cried out and clawed at the blackish shape on her
hardsuit. I knew it was another of those shaped charges and had to do
something. I also knew that from previous experience with things that it
could start burning through the exo-shell and into her body beneath almost
imedeately. The others were in no position to do anything and so I simply
dived for it. I felt a sudden pressue slam me in the back between my
shoulder-blades and some part of
my brain acknowledged that my suit had responded to my actions by a quick
burst from it's thrusters.
I slammed into Nene bowling her over in the process. A scraping of
ceramic on ceramic that made me grit my teeth. With the sharp fin on my
vambrace (some funky batman-thing ...a weapons mount...who knows...it's a
dream and I really don't have all that much time to take a look) I scraped
across tthe suit. - vibrations grinding in my bones now...and the sound
like fingers (big fingers) across God's blackboard.
( All of these things are now more like quick flickering impressions
-like ragged cuts in areally badly made film with horrible lighting)
*Nene lying slumped on a slab of broken pavement which thrusts out of
the broken ground. Raising herself up slightly and rolling away.
*My body falling away from her my right hand outstretched with a lump
rather like a big gob of tar covering half of the hand.
*Green and red numbers I can't really read in my vision.
*glare from a streetlight overhead.
(at this point I usually am awake enough to !flick! this globby thing
away....I don't actually see it go but some sort of concrete thingy is
coverd in flames....I THINK I do this anyway....)
-no flick....nothing......
I watch my guantlet-coverd hand burst into flame and notice rather than
feel the flames EAT the metal of the hand underneath.....
***
METAL?
***
I wake up...not a rushing into a sitting position trying to get air into
my lungs sot of waking-up. I just wake up.
What the hell?
A metal hand?
In the semi-darknes of my room I bring up my hand and take a look.
I'm wearing a medi-lycra glove as I was typing an assignment last night
and the old C.T. was causing my wrist to ache...that's it...probably my
body dealing with the sensation of something on my hand.
I sit up.
"Wah!"
Christ with a crossbow!!!!
Lurking at the foot omy bed is a hunched figure which is... which is
my jacket thrown over a pile of clothing sitting on my chair.
My heart is pounding anyway.
I close my eyes and switch on the light-of-blinding which sits on my
night-table. Slowly opening my eyes I take another look...yup...clothes on
a chair. I put my glasses on....no change...which is good....I'm not
blind.
I look at the clock.
3:23
Well, I don't have classes tomorow and I don't REEEALLY have all that
much to do. I guess I can sleep untill oh, maybe 2 or 3 with little damage
to my overflowing social calender.
I do the only natural thing that one does after you scare yourself
stupid....you go somewhere dangerous and then give yourself coffee.
My neighbourhood isn't that bad...I mean so far this year only 2 people
have been killed in the government housing a block away....and it is just
a short (5 min) walk to school.
I got dressed and grabbed my jacket. I shoved a solid wad of
fanfictionwhich I had not read in my backpack.
(I should use this stuff to insulate my parents place...I have not inches,
but FEET of the stuff in thickness.)
Tim Hortons place of animal fat and carbs. place of eclairs....and
of course more importantly....place of coffee and it's only 2 1/2 blocks
away.
Ah, the relaxation of reading: "BubbleGum Zone the annotated version
version." (chapter 22: the lost years) was going well and as usual I got
got caught up quickly...
"Cold isn't it?"
I startled, well there goes an hours attempt to relax.
and I looked up in annoyance.
A girl...no....let's say a WOMAN stood becide the bench.
A different kind of startlement. She was about.... who knows...(I admit
here that I am a lousy judge of ages...she could have been anywhere from
16 to 36) . She had hair like...like.... well it was shoulder length and
red ...the right kind of red. Her eyes were..blue? green? in this light I
couldn't tell. I could however tell that she was smiling in a friendly?
mocking? way.
"Um...ah...ya..." I was the master of language.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
"No...certanly...sit...sit..."
Who was she and what was she doing here at 4:30 in the morning?
Did I know her?
Was she a hooker?
Was she an axe-murderer?
Did I care?
"Um...ah..It sure is nippy?"
Nippy? was I an idiot?
"Mmmm...that's what I thought" she said, raising her paper cup to her
lips...(no real cups here after 11 and before 6) "Nothing better than hot
chocolate on a day like this...well, I probably should say night."
"It is technicly morning." I replied." But, night is good."
She raised her brows in agreement and took another sip, her fingers
peeking out of a pair of dark green leather half-gloves as she held the
cup in both hands.
Oh man, who was she? I must know her.
Work brain work - earn your keep for once.
"Reading?" she gestured at the fanfold paper in front of me.
I nodded.
"Do you mind if I ask what it is...I saw you here and you were just
sinking into it."
"A story." I explaned, "or part of one."
"Yours?"
"I'm afraid not. Um, I'm in a group on the net."
"The internet?"
I nodded. "Yup, a group of us write stuff about anime...ah, japanese
animation and the characters in it."
"Hmmm....that sounds neat."
Did it?
Of course it did and fireworks made a fast cut-scene in my mind.
"What do you write about?" She asked.
"Well, (oh great...now here it comes....how do I say "nothing really"
and still sound like a reasonable non-jerk) Well, ah...."
"You've got something that you're working on that you haven't posted" She
answerd for me.
"That's right." I quickly agreed.
She looked sad.
"What is it?"
She took another sip of her drink and then stood.
"You don't get it do you?" Her tone was, well, bitter.
"Excuse me?"
"You have no idea who I am do you?" There were tears begining to form in
her blue-green eyes.
I looked into those eyes and really SAW her for the first time....and
knew what she was going to say before she said it - dreaded it.
"You killed me 10 years ago."
___________________________________________________________________________
Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene Nene
I met a Lady in the Meads,
Full beautiful, a faery's child,
Her hair was long, her foot was light
And her eyes were wild.
J.Keats
________________________________________________________________________
Agent Of Chaos. Robyn, Duke of Amber. Unicorn Knight
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