===================
      PART VII
     Wild Date
===================


   "Akane, do you really think this is gonna work?" 
   "Definitely.  She's gonna feel awkward about being alone with the two
of us.  You know the saying 'three's a crowd', right?  She's not gonna
want to be stuck alone with a couple, so she's gonna ask Ryouga to go with
her.  It's a sure thing." 
   "Well... yeah..." 
   "Hey, what could go wrong?" 

----------------

   It was just another Friday night at the Nekohanten.  Cologne was
hovering about somewhere, Shampoo was alternating between overseeing the
cooking and serving as waitress, and Mousse... he had something important
on his mind.  He was contemplating his last long conversation with Ryouga.

        "What, you think Ranma beat Shampoo HONORABLY?  Some big arranged
	fight?  Let me tell you, he beat her totally by accident, and when 
	she was trying to hit someone else.  You tell me how HONORABLE
	that is, huh?

   It was true then, that it didn't have to be a big formal challange.  It
didn't have to be a full-fledged fight.  Ranma blindsided her, and look
how much she chased after him.  Where was the honor in Ranma's victory
over her?  Since when did he let honor stand in the way of his quest to
win Shampoo's heart, anyways?  Some of his attacks on Ranma were, he
admitted to himself, a little less than honorable.
   He looked over to Shampoo.  She was checking on a pot, her back turned. 
   It could just be as simple as a blow to the head. 
   She peered into the pot, her concentration on nothing else at the
moment. 
   A good hit and the right moment... like now. 
   "Mousse!" 
   "YAAAAAH!!!"  Mousse jumped back, not noticing that Cologne had entered
the room and had been watching for a while now. 
   "What's wrong, boy.  You're sweating badly and shaking.  Go take a
break." 
   "Y-yes... sure.." 
   Mousse stepped out the back door and breathed deeply.  Questions
bounced in his head.  {Can I do this?  She's not going to be single
forever.  Time is slipping away.  Where's the honor in this?  Who needs
honor?  What should I do?  Stupid amazon laws!!!!}
   He sighed and re-entered the kitchen. 
   Shampoo was there, stirring some ramen.  Cologne was gone once more. 
   {Just one blow} he thought. 
   He whipped a mallet out of his sleeve. 
   {Just one.}
   "Shampoo?" 
   {One hit.}
   "What you want Mousse?  I busy." 
   {And she's mine.}


   *WHAM*


------------

   Ranma, Akane, Ryouga, and Ukyou casually strolled down the streets, on
the way to the Jackie Chan festival.  Akane & Ranma walked arm in arm,
casually, while Ukyou walked on Ranma's side and Ryouga walked alongside
Akane.  Ryouga and Ukyou seemed to silently but mutually agree not to
appear like they were a couple.
   "Hey Ryouga," Ranma asked, "I heard some guy attacked you last week."
   "Yeah.  Old grudge or something like that."
   "Really?" 
   "Yup." 
   "Well," said Ranma, looking smug, "what comes around goes around, hm?" 
   *WHAM*WHAM* Both Ukyou and Akane elbowed Ranma at the same time.  In
stereo, they yelled, "Stop picking on Ryouga!" 
   "Ow..."

------------

   Ryo walked along the streets of Nerima, once again clad in suit, on his
way to the Jackie Chan film festival.  He was looking forward to this.  If
there was anybody out there that represented the Unorthodox Weaponry
Martial Arts school, it could easily be Jackie Chan.  He used chairs
(covered in the Furniture Division), pottery (scattered amongst Furniture,
Gardening, and some other sub-divisions of the school)  and other
interesting and diverse weapons.  Yes indeed, there's nothing like a good
Jackie Chan film. 
   Suddenly, something caught his attention. 
   Female. 
   Short hair. 
   Looks like she just hit some guy. 
   She's standing next to Ryouga. 
   {A-ha.  Target found.}
   {But wait... Mr. Chan and the cinema await.}
   "Damnation, what a dilema." he muttered.  Ryo debated the pros and cons
of doing the job now and doing the job later.  It was a pefect setup.  The
girl was already there and so was Ryouga.  Besides, it would be a dramatic
and bold assault, would it not?
   Looks like Jackie Chan will have to wait.  The first two movies were
so-so anyways.  The real good ones wouldn't be shown for hours. 
   He checked his inventory.  Umbrella was at the ready.  Strips of cloth
that would serve as gags.  A rope.  A gas grenade.  And it was looked like
a good angled jump from the roof to the street below too...

   Time to get to work. 

-----------

   Ryouga sensed something was wrong.  As Ranma and Akane broke into one
of their typical arguments, he heard something sailing through the air. He
turned around to see Ryo Muhoshin landing gently and closing his umbrella.
   Ryo looked up at everyone, smiled, and simply said "Hello."  Then he
threw down a handfull of small capsules and the group was suddenly
surrounded by smoke. 
   *cough* {Perhaps I used too much...} Ryo wondered quietly.  He advanced
on where Akane was standing and poked her with the tip of his umbrella on
a spot on her back.  She passed out and was slung over Ryo's shoulder. 
Studying a little on pressure points made abductions so much easier.  Ryo
couldn't help but give off a little laugh and ran off into the night. 
   A strong breeze suddenly hit, and the smoke cleared.  Ranma looked
around.  "Hey, where's Akane?"  He looked around, shouting "AKANE!" 
   Ryouga looked down.  This was his fault, he felt.  Someone comes after
him and now his friends are getting caught up in it.  {How DARE he bring
outsiders into a duel!  Hey, what's that on the ground?}
   Ryouga pointed.  "Hey, what's that on the ground?"  He reached for a
small envalope left on the ground with 'to Ryouga' written on it.  He
opened it up and read the message aloud. 

	"Hibiki.  Sorry about the inconvenience, but I felt like I needed to
	give you a bit more motivation for the next time we fight.  If you 
	want your girlfriend back, meet me where we first met.  Be there
	in 20 minutes. 

	-Ryo" 

   Ryouga looked up at Ukyou.  "You remember the place where we fought Ryo
last time?" 
   "C'mon," Ranma said, grabbing Ryouga's arm, "I'm gonna kill that guy." 
Ranma thought to himself, {if he hurts her... I'll kill him!}

----------

   Akane slowly regained conciousness.  Where was she?  The last she
remembered was a bunch of smoke.  She moved her arms, but they were tied,
and felt what was near her hands, a steel pole.  She opened her eyes and
saw that she was tied up on a streetlamp on a bridge.
   Akane sighed.  She really hated playing the part of the hostage.  It
was so... so... insulting!  And stereotypical too!  Grr.... MEN!!!  Akane
began to work on the ropes tying her down when her captor finally made his
presence known. 
   "Excuse me, but the role of the hostage is usually to just stand still
while the so-called hero comes in for a rescue attempt."  The voice came
from behind her. 
   "LET ME GO NOW!!!" 
   "Hm.... no.  Not yet.  You I really don't intend to do anything with,
really.  Don't worry about that.  I _do_ intend on severely hurting your 
significant other, at the very least."
   "He'll beat you!  You'll see!"  Akane winced as she said those words.
She had a hard time believing that she'd actually said something as corny
as that.
   Ryo clapped sarcastically, his face emotionless.  "There you go.  THAT
is how a hostage is supposed to behave."
   "Who are you anyways?" 
   "I didn't introduce myself?  Ryo Muhoshin, School of Unorthodox
Weaponry Martial Arts, Umbrella Division, and due for a promotion, as soon
as I crush your significant other."  Ryo stepped into view and gave a
little salute with his umbrella. "Hope this doesn't take too long, I don't
want to miss too much of the Jackie Chan festival.  It seems I'll miss the
first hour already."

---------

   Ranma angrily stomped down the street, dragging Ryouga with him and
followed by Ukyou.  "Where is it?" he growled. 
   "Just around the corner, Ranchan." 
   The trio turned the corner and the bridge came into sight.  They saw
Ryo casually talking with Akane, who was tied up to a lamp post and
looking very angry. 
   "Guys, I'll be right back." 
   "Hey, wait a-" Ryouga started. 
   "He took my fiancee... if he hurt her, I'll KILL HIM!"
   Neither Ryouga or Ukyou had ever seen Ranma so angry before.  Ranma ran
to the bridge, focusing on his target... 

--------

   Akane was still engaged in conversation with Ryo.  "What do you want
with Ranma anyways?  I thought you were after Ryouga?" 
   Ryo looked confused.  "Ranma?  What about him?" 
   "Ranma, my _finacee_." 
   "What?  But I was told Ryouga was in love with you..." 
   "No.  Ryouga's just my friend.  Ranma's my fiancee." 
   "Ranma?"  He fretted.  Things were going wrong already.
   "YEAH, ME!"  was all the warning Ryo got as he was struck from behind
with a blow that flung him to the side barriers of the bridge.  As he
recovered from that blow, he heard footsteps getting closer.  He turned to
face his adversary. 
   "Wait a-" 
   "TENSHIN AMAGURI-KEN!" was all he heard in reply, as an insane amount
of punches landed on him.  Ryo managed to block only a few of them, and
then jumped away to a safe distance and landed wobbling.  He checked
himself.  Bloodied nose, multiple bruises, left arm felt like a jackhammer
was used on it, and yet ANOTHER suit was ruined.  No turning back now, he
was going to have to fight to get out of this situation.
   Ranma charged at Ryo again, but this time Ryo was ready.  He held his
umbrella by the point and began to glow. 
   "You're mine!"  Ranma yelled. 
   "Hey!  Untie me, you idiot!" Akane yelled. 
   "Ryugeki-Ken!"  Ryo jumped back and swung his umbrella, releasing a
boomerang-shaped blast of energy from the curved handle. 
   Ranma held his hands forward and yelled "Moko-Takabisha!" releasing his
own ki attack, destroying the Ryugeki-Ken and impacting with Ryo.  He was
knocked off his feet and landed flat on his back. 
   Akane tore free from her bonds and stomped towards the fight. 
   "Ouch" Ryo muttered, getting up.  Before he was able to stand up, Ranma
already was standing above him and grabbed him by his necktie, putting Ryo
in a choke of sorts.  "ACK" was all he could say to that.
   Ranma looked at him in disbelief.  "Gosunkugi?" 
   "_No_" he spat, narrowing his eyes.  The name 'Gosunkugi' was
beginning to get on his nerves. 
   "Whatever.  Who do you think you are?  Kidnapping my fiancee!" 
   "GEKIHOU!" Ryo yelled as he swung the glowing umbrella handle hard and
fast at Ranma's chest.  Ranma blocked in time with his arm, but the impact
was still incredibly hard, and Ranma was slammed several feet into the
air, landing against the lamp post where Akane was tied up.  Ranma got up,
but he looked like he was in pain, and his left arm was limp at his side.
   "Alright," Ryo said, trying to get up, "I think what we have here... 
is a big misunderstanding.  I was told the lady was Ryouga's, not yours. 
My deepest apologies, really.  Now if you'll excuse mee*OOF*" 
   Ryo didn't notice Akane zooming in on him as he got up, and she
hammered him hard with a left hook which sent him flying back again. 
   "Okay, that's it!  Lady, you a*ACK*" 
   Ryo didn't notice that Ryouga was sneaking up from behind until he felt
his neck being crushed.  Ryo was lifted into the air and held over the
side of the bridge, over the waters.  "So," Ryouga said, angrily, "picking
on my friends now?" 
   "Ack" Ryo weakly offered.  As discreetly as he could, Ryo swiveled his
umbrella until the tip pointed to the ground.  He smiled weakly at Ryouga
and (with throat crushed) croaked "Bakusaitenketsu."  As he said the word,
Ryouga's eyes widened in surprise.  Then the umbrella tip touched the
concrete and the cement under Ryo and Ryouga suddenly exploded, sending
them both to the waters below. 
   "NOOOOOOO!!!!" Ryouga screamed.  Akane was near!  If she found out that
he was P-Chan, he was dead!  He reached out and managed to grab some metal
wiring that stuck out of the now destroyed part of the bridge and held on
in a death grip.  Ryouga gently swayed back and forth high above the
waters, holding on with one hand.
   "Damn youuuu...." *SPLASH* was all Ryo had to say about the situation. 
   Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou ran to the side of the bridge and looked down. 
Ryo was nowhere to be seen.  They all looked into the waters, checking for
any signs of his escape.  A shoe and a suitjacket floated in the waters. 
A few frogs were at the water's edge.  Some birds flew away.  Bugs hovered
around the area. 
   "I guess he's gone," Ranma said. 
   "What a jerk." Ukyou grumbled. 
   "Looks alot like Gosunkugi, doesn't he?" Akane added. 
   "HEY!  SOMEBODY PULL ME UP!!!" Ryouga yelled. 

-----------

   Cologne had stepped out of the Nekohanted briefly to buy some
ingredients at the local market.  As she was shopping, a feeling of dread
washed over her.  Cologne immediately rushed home to find a strange scene. 
   Standing in front of the Nekohanten with a mallet in his hand was
Mousse.  He was grinning like a maniac. 
   "Mousse!  Snap out of it, boy!  Mousse!" 
   Mousse wasn't responding.  He was just giggling slightly and looking at
the stars.  This wasn't a good sign.  Could he have possibly done it?  Had
Mousse finally snapped after all these years of rejection? 
   Cologne rushed into the kitchen to find Shampoo slowly recovering and
with a big bump on her head. 
   "Oh no."  Cologne realized what might have happened. 
   "Great Grandmother, what is it?" Shampoo still looked a bit groggy. 
   "No.  How did he do this.  He must have used some trickery!  I will not
allow such weaklings into our bloodline!" 
   "Sorry, 'Old Ghoul'," Mousse arrogantly said, swaggering into the
kitchen.  He was still grinning like a maniac.  "I've checked the books. 
I've even got a precedent.  Everything is settled." 
   Shampoo was still a bit groggy, and was becoming upset when she
realized that Mousse knocked her out with a mallet.  "What you hit me
for?!" she asked. 
   "Shampoo, YOU'RE MINE!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!" 
   Shampoo didn't understand, at first.  Then she realized it.  Mousse
knocked her out.  He beat her.  He was.. he was... 
   Shampoo took a deep breath.  Then she opened her mouth. 

   "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" 

---------------

[Saturday Morning]

   In his hotel room, Ryo Muhoshin woke up, feeling much better than he
had been when he fell into the river.  He was hurt, true, but not badly,
and he always did recover fast.
   That Saotome had blazing speed.  Strong skill.  Definitely someone to
avoid.  He'd almost hurt Ryo badly.  Almost.  The girl was tough too.  Her
punch felt like a sledgehammer.  He criticized himself for allowing those
two to get so many hits in.  Ryo still had quite a few tricks left to
unveil, but until he was fully recovered, he'd just lie in wait. 
   Anyways, the Jackie Chan film festival was running for 36 hours
straight, so he could still catch maybe 20 hours worth of good 'ol martial
arts action. 
   As he headed to the shower, he wondered why the hell these people
around here were fond of dumping their adversaries in the river.  It was
incredibly annoying.  He was running out of good suits and alot of his
shoes were NOT waterproof.  The suede ones were totally ruined.  Maybe his
sister was right.  Maybe dressing up in a suit didn't intimidate the enemy
very much, or at all.  Anyways, the dry-cleaner bill was killing him.
   He headed out the door, this time in ordinary black pants and grey
shirt.  He had plenty of these, and ruining a set would be cheaper than
ruining a good suit. 
   He was dressed almost _exactly_ like Gosunkugi.  Had he known this,
thing would've been different, but that's life.

   Walking towards the theatre, Ryo noticed that alot of people, very
thug-like in appearance, were beginning to follow him.  Then he noticed
the wall of thugs that was forming a few feet ahead of him. 
   He was surrounded. 
   {Oh-ho.  Thugfest perhaps?} Ryo wondered. 
   One massive person stepped up.  He was incredibly muscular and was
weilding a heavy chain.  In a deep voice, he said "Hey, punk, remember
us?" 
   {Aah, the Furinkan nuisances.}
   "I don't have time for this," Ryo replied slowly.
   "We'll MAKE time, Gosunkugi.  And this time, you're NOT gonna run
away." 
   "You are making a mistake."
   "Get'em!"  The lead thug yelled. 
   {Oh well, I guess I could use the practice.}

   Ten minutes later Ryo brushed off his shirt.  It got a bit of dust on
it, and a small amount of blood, not his.
   Behind him was a streetfull of thugs in bruised, twisted, slightly
burnt, and mostly unconscious condition. 
   Ryo went up to what he assumed was the chief thug, who was curretly
lying face-first in the dirt.  He grabbed his hair and pulled his face up. 
"If I see you again," Ryo said with narrowed eyes, "I kill you." 

--------------

   In the darkness of a theatre in the front row, Akane, Ranma, Ukyou, and
Ryouga sat, enjoying "Drunken Master II". 
   They'd gone back to the theater after the fight with Ryo, and after
Ranma stopped by Dr. Tofu's to get his arm checked.  As it turned out, his
arm was badly bruised.  Ukyou and Ryouga insisted in getting Ranma's head
checked as well.  Of course, he took it as an insult and demanded that
they head back to the theater before they miss anything else. 
   They'd been there since the day before, getting a solid 10 hours of
Jackie Chan.  However, not all of them could endure the marathon straight
through. 
   Despite her violent tendencies and martial arts skills, Akane didn't
enjoy action movies as much as the others They were enjoyable, but she
wasn't fanatical about it.  She fell asleep after the 8th hour, her head
resting on Ranma's shoulder. 
   Ranma, on the other hand, WAS fanatical about it.  He was chugging down
his fourth mega-size soda, loaded with caffeine, and was staring at the
screen with wide eyes.  The only film he came close to disliking was the
one Jackie made in America in which he was partnered with some old Italian
guy.  "The Protector" was the title of that little film.  Watching that
movie convinced Ranma that those Americans could never ever get action
movies done right.  It was talent wasted. 
   Ukyou was paying almost as much attention as Ranma was.  She loved
these types of movies.  She watched alot of them in her childhood, and it
made her feel nostalgic watching them again. 
   Ryouga was trying to stay awake.  He didn't see movies much at all. 
Being lost for roughly 70% of his life tends to put going to movie
theatres somewhat low on the list of things to do.  Ryouga admitted that
the action was pretty good, the stuntwork was fabulous, and the humor was
good, but he had things weighing on his mind that made him tired.  Slowly
he drifted into sleep, ever-so-slowly slumping to one side, his head
falling, falling, and falling... 
   Ukyou's eyes suddenly widened.  She felt something heavy on her right
shoulder.  It was making an awful hacksaw kind of noise.  She slowly
turned her head only to see Ryouga, fast asleep and snoring.  She wasn't
sure of what to do.  A part of her felt that the guy deserved a rest. 
Another part of her thought she should slug him through the roof. 
   She looked over at Ranma and sighed.  There they were, the cozy couple,
and there she was, with nobody.  She looked at Ryouga,who was still
asleep.  "Stuck with you instead" she murmered. {Yeah, stuck with Ryouga
the wonder pig.}
   She remembered the first time they met.  She was still in extreme
crossdresser mode back then, and he thought that she was a guy.  Then
Ranma showed Ryouga that she was a girl by opening Ukyou's shirt. 
   Idiots, both of 'em. 
   Ranma sensed something was up.  He looked to his right to see Ryouga
leaning on Ukyou.  He held back a slight laugh.  Wasn't it usually the
girl that leans on the guy?  That Ryouga, what a wimp. 
   Then a terrible buzzsaw sound errupted briefly.  Ranma's smile
dissapeared.  How was he supposed to enjoy the movie with that noise going
on?  He reached over to shake Ryouga's head a bit. 
   Ukyou was stunned when she realized Ranma was putting his arm around
her.  She was unsure of what to do.  Yes, she still wanted him and was
glad he was putting his arm around her, but right here _with_ Akane at the
same time?  Like this?  Her heart was beating heavily and she wasn't sure
what to do. 
   Ranma, reaching behind Ukyou, gave Ryouga's head a thump.  In doing so,
Ranma had to lean towards Ryouga, and hence, leaned towards Ukyou, who was
staring straight ahead and blushing deep red. 
   Ryouga woke up to the feel of someone thumping his head, which was
enough to make him mad.  He looked around to see who hit him. 
   Akane, leaning on Ranma, woke up since he was leaning away from her. 
She blinked her eyes, yawned, and then looked at Ranma. 
   Ranma noticed that Akane wasn't leaning on his shoulder anymore, which
meant that she must be awake again.  He also noticed that Ryouga woke up
as well, and was in an angry mood.  He was getting a nagging feeling
something was wrong when he noticed that Ukyou was wide-eyed and blushing
badly.  That nagging feeling became a Strong Sense Of Danger when he
noticed that Ryouga was not only looking angry, but now looking angrily at
_him_.  He turned slowly, that Strong Sense Of Danger still kicking at
him, and noticed that Akane was looking right at him too, and definitely
_not_ in a kind and loving way. 
   "What do you think you're doing?"  Akane and Ryouga both said. 
   Comprehension finally snapped into place.  Ranma sat up straight,
removed his arm from around Ukyou, looked panic-stricken, and stammered,
"Um... it's...  it's not what you guys think!  Really.. I uh, I mean, it
was just..." 
   "Well?" Akane asked, looking angrier by the second. 
   "Well Ryouga was...." 
   "What about me, Saotome?"  Ryouga wasn't getting any happier either. 
   "I mean... oh no." 
   *WHAM* Ranma got hammered in stereo, as Ryouga's and Akane's fists
landed solidly on opposite sides of his face. 
   "Ow!  Will you just let me explain!" 

------------

   Ryo sat quietly in the balcony.  For the most part he was enjoying
himself.  He arrived just in time to catch Drunken Master II, and Twin
Dragons was next on the list.  Life was good. 
   Well, almost.  There were a pack idiots in the bottom front row making
all sorts of noise.  He thought about ki-blasting them into silence, but
changed his mind.  Today was a day for _rest_.  He sat back and smiled. 

-----------

   Everybody in the theatre was enjoying themselves.  They didn't notice
something lurking, cruising through the rows.
   Along the balcony, chaos was slowly spreading.  A girl jumped up,
startled, and then slapped the guy next to her.  Other girls suddenly felt
a little colder than usual, and were startled to discover that their
undergarments had mysteriously vanished.  One girl, sitting in the front
row of the balcony, was checking in her purse when she suddenly felt a
light squeeze on her chest.  She looked up angrily, saw that the man
sitting a seat away from her seemed to be enjoying the movie too much (he
was sitting back and smiling) and gave that man a solid slap in the face.
"Pervert!" She yelled.

   "OW!" 
   Ryo didn't know what brought that about.  Damned crazy woman!  Just
slapping him like that for no reason!
   Then he heard the voice. 
   It cackled. 
   He heard that cackle before. 
   He listened carefully. 
   "What a haul!" 
   Ryo grabbed his umbrella, stood up, and looked for his prey. 
   "A-ha." 

-----------

   Ranma had finally diffused the situation, explaining everything.  Akane
went back to leaning on his shoulder and fell asleep again, but this time
with a somewhat angry look on her face.  Ukyou was still staring straight
ahead at the screen.  Ryouga went back to watching the movie, but was
slowly falling asleep too. 
   Suddenly, there was the sounds of panic coming from the balcony seats. 
   Ranma looked up to see what was causing a commotion in the balcony when
he heard a yell of "GEKIHOU!" which was followed by a solid *BOOM* from
the balcony.  From the center of a flash of light a little two-foot tall
figure rocketed through the air and hit the theatre screen with a *thwap*. 
   "Aw great, it's him." 
   Happousai, embedded within the screen, looked at his attacker and his
eyes began to glow red.  "You again.... how DARE you interfere with me!" 
   Ranma blinked.  Usually that type of dialogue was reserved for use on
him.  Apparently, someone else had incurred Happi's wrath. 
   "MUHOSHIN, DIEEEE!" Happousai yelled.  Suddenly, a ghostly snake-like
red blast shot out towards someone in the balcony. 
   Ranma felt sorry for whoever Happousai was mad at.  When the little
pervert was really ticked off he was nearly unbeatable.  Ranma would
normally not mind helping beat up the little pervert, but just for today,
he was out with his wife and friends, and just wanted to enjoy himself. 
Akane stirred, yawning.  She turned to Ranma.  "Sorry I fell asleep again. 
Did I miss anything?" 
   "Nothing much." 
   Meanwhile, Happousai peeled himself off of the screen and rocketed
towards the balcony. 

-------------

   Ryo was running for the doors.  Whatever the hell that... that.. THING
was that the old wretch shot forth scared the hell out of him.  He could
swear that he saw the image of the old man's face on it.  Ryo knew trouble
when he saw it and so he made a strategic retreat, with the "thing" close
behind.  "Gonna make it, gonna make it, gonna make it, gonn*ACK*" **BOOM**
Ryo was flung out the door, through the wall, and out into the sidewalk. 
   Outside, people were staring at the young man that had just crashed
through the building and landed on the cement.  Among the noise of the
crowd people were yelling "hey, I think he's dead!", "somebody call an
ambulance", and "damn martial artists." 
   Finally he stirred. 
   "OOOUCH!!" he yelled.  Ryo got up wearily, feeling not too well at all,
and stumbled back towards his hotel in a daze.  "Just KILL Ryouga and
LEAVE this damned town.  This place is bad for my health. ACK!" 
   This new ACK was caused by a gymnastic ribbon, which suddenly wrapped
itself around his neck.  Ryo tried to undo the ribbon and breathe.  Then
he heard it.  The most infamous laugh in Nerima. 
   "Oh-hohohohoho!  What was that you were saying?  You, threatening my
Ryouga darling?  I think not."  Ryo was looking up at a rather familiar
looking girl. 
   {Wait a minte,} he thougth to himself, {she was in the file... 
whatwasthatname... Kodachi Kunou.  Hm, looks better in real life.  But her
and Ryouga?  There's no explanation for bad taste.}
   "Excuse me," Ryo croaked, Kodachi's ribbon still wound around his neck,
"I thought you were after a guy named Ranma?" 
   Kodachi turned away, striking a dramatic pose, which allowed Ryo to
loosen the ribbon.  "Oh, but I do love Ranma.  But also Ryouga.  What's a
girl to do?  I shall have them both!"  She turned dramatically towards her
prey only to see empty space.  Ryo was already running down the street at
top speed. 
   Ryo looked behind him to see if anyone was in pursuit.  It looked like
Kodachi wasn't going to bother chasing him.  That was good.  Then
Happousai popped out of the Ryo-made hole in the theater building. That
was bad.  "I'm not finished yet!" Happousai yelled. 
   Ryo ran through alleys and around corners furiously.  He wasn't sure he
could handle the troll from hell yet. 
   "Damned pervert troll martial artist," he muttered.
   "Who's a pervert?" Happousai asked, suddenly next to him. 
   "Uh-oh." 
   "Here, junior, hold this." 
   Ryo looked at what Happousai was holding out.  It was a bomb. 
Immediately, he did the patented Martial Artist Super Jump (tm) away from
Happousai, escaping from the explosion.  "You die _now_.  Twin Dragons is
showing in an hour."  He twirled his umbrella, which began to glow at it's
curved handle. 
   Happousai's eyes turned red again and he suddenly seemed to become
gigantic, maybe seven feet in height.  He charged at Ryo. 
   Ryo once again leapt into the air, this time charging at Happousai,
with his umbrella still twirling.  At the peak of his jump, Ryo yelled
"GouRygeki-Ken!"  and dozens of boomerang shaped energy projectiles flew
out in Happousai's general direction while others flew off-target
severely.  Trees were blasted, windows shattered, lamp posts destroyed,
and a park bench was flung twenty feet before crashing into a wall, where
it sprouted arms, legs, and the head of a blond girl and ran off. 
Happousai was trying to stand his ground, but the impact of dozens of
blasts drove him to his knees and forced him into his normal tiny self. 
   "How ironic," Ryo said, noticing (while still in the air (he was still
in the air.  After all, it was a Martial Artist Super Jump (TM)))  where
the chase had ended up bringing him.  He was back by the bridge again.
   Ryo landed in front of the dazed pervert and poked him at a certain
pressure point which severely dazed the already weakened Happousai.  He
started pounding on Happousai violently with ki-charged hatchet swings
from his umbrella which buried Happousai deeper into the pavement with
each hit. 
   "Now old man, you die."  Ryo grinned evily.  He held Happousai down by
stomping on the old man's body with his foot. Then he held the umbrella by
the handle this time, aimed the pointed end at Happousai's head, and yelled
"BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSU!" jabbing the old man's skull. 
   *TAP*
   "Ouch!" Happousai yelled. 
   "Eh?"  Ryo blinked.  This didn't seem right.  From what he'd managed to
observe during his brief spying of the Chinese Amazon tribes, that
should've worked.  It worked great on buildings and boulders, why not on
mini-trolls?  The old man's skull should be splattered all over the
pavement, shouldn't it? 
   He gave it one more try. 
   "BAKUSAI-TEN-KETSU!" 
   *TAP*
   "OUCH!" 
   To hell with it.  Time to stick with what was reliable.  He held the
tip, holding the umbrella like a golf club, reared back with the handle
beginning to glow, and closed his eyes.  The wooden handle glowed
brighter, until it was almost blinding. 
   Happousai finally regained some control of his motor skills and tried
to squirm out from under Ryo's foot. 
   Ryo opened his eyes and yelled "GEKIHOU!" slamming Happousai across
town and leaving a big rip in the pavement. 
   "I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" he yelled triumphantly, just
before the bomb that Happousai left behind exploded, flinging him high
into the air and once again into the river. 

------------

   Mousse was sitting idly on the roof, happy almost to the point of
insanity.  This was indeed a good day.  There were signs of good tiding
everywhere.  The sun shone, the birds were chirping, a gentle breeze was
blowing, and he just saw Happousai flying across the sky. 
   Inside the Nekohanten, Cologne was digging through the ancient laws of
the Amazons to find a way to cancel the marriage.  Shampoo had reacted as
badly as she thought she would.  Now, what to do.... a-ha.  Here's
something. 
   Cologne hopped unto the roof, slightly dampening Mousse's good mood. 
"What do you want, you old mummy?"  Mousse asked. 
   "I have combed through the laws of our people and I have come to say
you are indeed a rightfull groom to Shampoo." 
   "I am _the_ rightfull groom to Shampoo." 
   "You... you _and_ Ryouga." 
   "Oh."  He'd forgotten about that.  Mouse wondered what happened when
two people are engaged to the same woman.
   "You must defeat Ryouga before you can marry Shampoo.  That isn't a
problem, is it?" 
   "Of course not!"  Mousse was sure that he could work something out with
Ryouga.  After all, he certainly didn't want to be engaged to Shampoo. 
   Cologne still wasn't sure how she would be able to use this to her
advantage, but she was sure she'd think of something before their duel. 

----------

   Happousai slammed into the pavement.  Hard.  The impact made a small
crater.  He slowly crawled out of it, pervert-power dragging him on. 
For anyone else, this would be a dire situation, but for Happousai, it was
a momentary problem.  He'd been beaten, battered, bruised, bludgeoned,
tossed into a cave with dynamite, and had always come back for more.  All
he needed was one touch of that special silky feeling and all would be
well, instantly.
   He thought about that new nuisance, Muhoshin.  An interesting and
amusing diversion.  It just wasn't fun anymore going up against Ranma. 
Was it because his clashes with the future heir of the school of Anything
Goes Martial Arts were becoming repeditive?  Maybe.  A part of him looked
forward to abusing his new sparring partner, very much.

   But until then, there were more immediate concerns."

   "Massive...  internal bleeding... broken bones... loosing
consciousness...  must... have...  pantieeeeeeeees..." he wheezed. 
   Suddenly, a bikini-clad green-haired girl _flew_ by.  She had horns. 
Happousai thought he was finally going into shock.  She flew around,
looking about, and then flew _to_ him.  Happousai smiled.  He guessed
she'd never heard of the infamous Happousai before. 
   "Excuse me," she asked, "have you seen my Ataru around here?" 
   "Ataru?  Why I'M Ataru!  C'mere, sweetums!"  Amazingly, despite his
massive internal injuries, he managed to leap up and glomped unto her
chest.  Happousai enjoyed himself as only a pervert of his status could. 
He felt the injuries slowly melt away, his life force building itself up
slowly.
   "AAAAH!  PERVERT!"  She yelled, suddenly crackling with energy.  She
grabbed Happousai by the skull and pumped in ungodly amounts of
electricity, frying off all his hair and killing off a few brain cells as
well.  He finally lost his grip and dropped to the floor, charred and
sizzling.   It was quickly followed by a severe malleting.
   Happousai struggled to get up, but fell on his back.  He groaned, tried
to get up once more, and then fell into unconsciousness. 

--------

[_Much_ Later]

   Ryouga wandered the restaraunt, looking for the stairs to the attic. 
He was worn out from watching mass quantities of theatrical martial arts. 
It was amazing, he thought, how the roof of a building could shift itself
in space and time.  As he walked by the main room, he heard a sniffle, and
then several more of them.  He followed the sound to the window table,
where Ukyou sat with a glass of water, looking depressed.  He went to her. 
   "Hey," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. 
   "YAAAAAAAH!"  Ukyou whirled around and swung with her spatula
instinctively.
   *THWAP*
   "Oooow!"
   "Oh, Ryouga!  Sorry!"  She helped Ryouga back to his feet and then sat
back down.  "Don't scare me like that, stupid." 
   "Sorry."  He sat down across from her and rubbed the sore spot on his
face.  "You okay?" Ryouga asked. 
   "I'm the one that hit you, sugar," she said, amused.
   "No... I mean.. you know...."
   She sighed.  "Hm.  No.  Not really.  I guess what happened with Ranma
back at the theater... I mean..."
   "Oh." said Ryouga.  He wasn't good at this comforting-a-hurt-friend
conversational kind of thing. 
   "I thought...  I thought that I was over it." 
   "Need one?" asked Ryouga, offering a bandanna. 
   "Thanks." Ukyou said quietly, taking the bandanna, wiping her eyes
lightly and blowing her nose with it.
   "I... I know how you feel,"  said he.  They sat there in silence, Ukyou
sniffling once in a while, and Ryouga sitting there at a loss for words. 
"Well," he finally said, "get some rest, okay?  Good night."  Ryouga said,
patting her on the back.  Then he went off once more in his quest for the
spacially displaced attic.

   "G'night, Ryouga."


- end part 7 -