================================
PART XIV
Clowns to the left of me
Jokers to the right
Here I am
Stuck in the middle with you
================================
It was a surprisingly busy night at Ucchan's. Ukyou was barely able to
keep up with the orders. People zoomed in and zoomed out, faces were a
blur, but at least they were paying. It would have been easier on her if
Ryouga had been there, but he'd somehow gotten lost again and she didn't
have the time to look for him.
Finally, after several long and frantic hours, things settled down,
leaving only three people in the restaraunt. One was a boy with somewhat
long hair and round-rimmed eyeglasses, dressed in loose jeans, a t-shirt,
and with a guitar case next to him. The second was a young girl, maybe 12
years old, with long, flowing brown hair and a bubbly, happy sort of
persona radiating from her. The third was a girl at about Ukyou's age,
with short, tomboyish hair, wearing overalls, and idly twirling a yo-yo
while waiting for the other two to finish eating. This one looked
slightly nervous. The three didn't look familiar to Ukyou at all.
"Go on, ask'er," said the boy in glasses. The little girl nodded in
agreement, urging the elder one on.
"Excuse me... Miss?" said the girl, waving at Ukyou.
"Yes, is there anything you need?" replied Ukyou, walking over.
"Refill on the drinks? Something else to order?"
"Actually... ah... I was wondering... did you know a person named...
Ryouga Hibiki?"
"Ryouga?" Ukyou blinked. What did this girl want with him? "Yeah, I
do. Why?"
"Well... before he died..."
"Died? He's not dead."
The girl's expression turned from nervousness to hope. "He's not?
But... we watched the fight..."
"He just fell into the river and got lost for a while," said Ukyou.
"He's okay! He's alive! That's GREAT!" The girl stopd up and hugged
Ukyou happily, then realized that might've been an awkward thing to do.
"Oh! I'm sorry... I'm just happy to hear the news."
"Who are you?" asked Ukyou. "Friend of his?"
"Well... sort of... although it's been a while since we met. I haven't
introduced myself yet, have I? Sorry. I'm Ryoko, this is my brother
younger brother Megane and sister Kyoko." The boy grunted a reply,
otherwise ignoring the scene and munching on his okonomiyaki. The little
girl cheerfully waved hello.
"How do you know Ryouga?" wondered Ukyou. There was a nagging feeling
that she had that she refused to identify as jealousy.
"Well... it was a few years back..."
***
Unorthodox Weaponry School of Martial Arts, the past.
Ryoko walked idly through the various dojos and other buildings that
was the UWSMA, having nothing to do for the day and she certainly didn't
want to be near her older brother, and her other siblings were out on some
sort of training trip with their sensei.
"Um... excuse me..."
Ryoko turned around to see a rather cute looking boy, clad in a
bandanna, looking very lost.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Could you tell me where I could find..." he took out a piece of paper,
"Sensei Miyaji?"
Sensei Miyaji? She looked at him more carefully. The bandanna, the
fangs, that certain lost look...
"You're Ryouga Hibiki, aren't you?" she guessed.
Ryouga blinked. "Yes... have we met?" he said, sounding a bit
confused.
Ryoko smiled. She was beginning to like this boy already. "You're the
one that beat Ryo, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess," he said, shrugging.
"You're kinda famous around here, y'know," she said. "Among the
students, Ryo was unbeatable until you came along. You're kinda like a
hero now."
"I-I am? I didn't do much, really."
"Modest too. I like that in a guy," she said, winking at him.
Amazingly, he missed seeing it. She sighed and took him by the arm.
"Come on, I'll show you the way..."
***
"... and after a while, I became his... what's the word... navigator,
showing him around whenever he'd get lost," said Ryoko with a sentimental
smile. "I hadn't seen him in a while, and was back in town to visit."
"So you came all this way to visit him?" asked Ukyou. "That's...
nice."
A pale, somewhat gaunt figure slipped into Ucchan's silently. Ryoko
looked startled while Ukyou smiled.
"Hey, Gosunkugi, welcome back!" she said.
"Gosunkugi?" asked Ryoko as she stared at the voodoo practicioner.
"Oh... I thought he was someone else..."
"So," said Ukyou, "how was vacation?"
"It was nice," he said shyly. This, he felt, was the important moment.
He was going to ask Ukyou for a date. It wasn't that he was particularly
obsessed with her, not as much as he was with Akane, anyways, but he felt
he had something to prove to himself: he could indeed be bold enough to
ask a girl to a date. And it just happened to be that Ukyou seemed to be
a nice person. "U...Ukyou... I was w-wondering.. ah...
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NO-..."
Everyone in the resteraunt froze as those words were roared. Megane
and Kyoko blinked, shrugged, then resumed eating.
"That... sounded like Ryouga," said Ukyou, smiling. She headed for the
front door, with Ryoko following.
"R-ryouga? I-it can't be!" mumbled Gosnkugi.
***
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NO- oh... Fujiwara street... let's see...." Ryouga
unfolded a map and began tracing his current location. "Oh... I see...
then I go south," he said as he turned west, "then I turn west at the next
light." He reached the next light and turned south. Miraculously,
despite the wrong directions, he got to where he was headed anyways.
Unfortunately, he didn't notice.
"Where is Ucchan's from here..." he muttered, getting angry at himself
for getting lost to begin with, while right behind him a large sign with
lights reading 'UCCHAN'S' flashed quietly. "Damn it... I HATE GETTING
LOST!" He felt the anger surge in him, and tried to calm down again. If
anything, he learned that loosing control of his temper was a Bad Thing.
He began to notice that there seemed to be a slight glow of eerie purple
light slightly tainting the area. He heard behind him a door open, and
turned around.
"Ukyou? Is that you?"
Ukyou stood there, in the door way to Ucchan's, with a shocked
expression on her face. Her hand was pointed... Ryouga couldn't tell, at
him? Above him? What, he wondered, was bothering her?
"Ryouga! Look out!"
Ryouga dodged to the left just as something glowing an unnatural purple
slammed into the pavement. Ryouga stood in a defensive position as the
purple blaze of fire dimmed, revelaing a sneering, lanky, pale figure in
a black suit.
"Hello, Ryouga."
The figure held out his hand and suddenly an ebony umbrella with a
razor-sharp tip appeared in his hand. His eyes were alight with the
otherworldly aura, and it seemed as if he was actually leaking energy.
His hair was swept back, but spiked by the energy. He fixed his two empty
burning eyes on Ryouga, and grinned.
"Ryo?!" yelled Ryouga. "You...you were dead!"
"I'm feeling better now," said Ryo. "Time to die."
"RYO!"
The Gosunkugi-lookalike from hell paused, his eyes narrowing.
Suddenly, Ryoko ran forward and stood between the two. "Don't you dare
hurt him!" she yelled, glaring at him defiantly. Ryouga stared at her,
surprised at her actions. She seemed... familiar to him somehow.
"Ryoko? Is that you?" he asked.
"Not now!" she hissed. "I'm trying to save your life."
Ryo leveled a gaze at her that would, in other circumstances, kill.
For some reason, though, he seemed to soften his glare slightly. "And why
do you defend him?"
"I... I..." she said slowly, "Well... I'm... I'M IN LOVE HIM!"
There was a moment of absolute silence. Ukyou and Ryouga were in
shock. Gosunkugi peeked through the doorway and was stunned into silence
as well: seeing a demonic version of himself was incredibly alarming to
him. Ryo's expression was unreadable.
Finally, Ryo spoke. "Ryouga... I'LL KILL YOU!!!" He lunged forward
quickly. Ryoko tried to stop him, but he tossed her aside with ease and
began slashing wildly at Ryouga, who blocked with his own umbrella.
Ryogua saw openings in Ryo's attack, now that he was attacking purely
from anger, and readied himself to end the fight with a solid hit to the
skull. Ryo stepped back a moment, then moved forward with a low slash.
Ryouga saw his opening and let loose a hard punch, not holding back on his
strength. Meanwhile, Ryo's slash revealed itself to be a feint, as his
grip suddenly rotated so that the handle was now at the front, and it
raced towards Ryouga's face blazing with dark energy.
*WHAM*
Ryouga went sailing through the sky and over a few blocks, while Ryo
was flung back into Ucchan's, breaking through the doors and stopping at
the back wall.
"Wow," said Ryoko. "Cross-counter punch!"
Ukyou looked at the damage done to her establishmetn and winced. "My
restaraunt! Look what they've done!"
Ryoko handed her a credit card. "Here."
"What's this?"
"Ryo's credit card."
"Ooh."
Meanwhile, at the back of Ucchan's, Ryo shook his head, winced, and
struggled to get up. It was at this point that he finally realized he
landed on somebody. He looked back at the crater he made in the wall and
examined the curious other person that was in the hole.
"What's this?"
He reached down and grabbed the figure by the collar, looking him over
like a lab specimen.
"You... must be Gosunkugi."
Gosunkugi picked this most inopportune moment to regain consciousness,
and his eyes opened to reveal the hellspawn version of himself staring
right at him. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He screamed in sheer terror, loud enough
to irritate Ryo, who promptly booted him through the ceiling and across
town.
"To think I look like _him_" Ryo muttered. He suddenly felt weary, the
purple and red flames around him flickering away to nothingness. "Over...
exertion... maybe?" he muttered as he felt his own consciousness flicker
and fade into black.
"Well," said Ukyou, "what do we do with him now?"
Ryoko put her hand on her chin and hmmed for a while. "Ah. I know.
Got any ropes?"
***
Gosunkugi groaned, pulling himself from the wreckage. That... whatever
that was... could it be the thing that he had tried to summon before?
Hadn't he cancelled the summoning? He had to prepare himself... things
were going wrong.
In times like that, he wished he really knew magic. It would have
certainly come in handy a minute ago, wouldn't it? He began to hear a
call, a whisper in his head. Then it was interrupted.
"THERE YOU ARE, EVIL SORCERER!" Kunou bellowed.
Gosunkugi turned a paler shade of white. Kunou was charging at him,
surrounded by a dark swirling aura. His bokken seemed to be engulfed with
purple, red, and blue fire, and twice as long as usual.
"I know the true nature of your existence, foul demon! I shall
vanquish you now!" Kunou yelled, slashing with his sword. A black ribbon
of energy surged forth off of Kunou's bokken and slammed into the wall
next to Gosunkugi. The wall shattered.
"GAAAAH!" screamed Gosunkugi as he ran down the street faster than he
ever ran before in his whole life.
***
Ryo wasn't feeling well. In fact, he felt distinctly tired. Perhaps,
he thought, he was tapping into his newfound power too much? He shook his
head to clear the cobwebs, and that's when he finally noticed his dilema.
He was chained, tightly, to a chair. As Ryo's vision cleared, he saw
he was in the establishment known as Ucchan's. With four familiar people
sitting near by.
"Oh. _You_ people."
Sitting at a nearby table was Ukyou, Ryoko, Megane, and Kyoko. Ukyou
watched him warily, while the other three gave him a nonchalant glance.
"Hellllllo, Ryo," said Ryoko casually. "Are you calm yet?"
"If you would... remove these chains... _now_."
"Oh no. Not yet. First, you calm down."
"I am calm," he said in a monotone voice. "Now release me."
"Next," said Ryoko, "you tell us where you've been."
Without warning, Ryo surged forward, trying to break out of his bonds.
Ukyou quickly slammed his head with her spatula, and all went dark.
A minute later, his lights came back on.
"You shouldn't have done that," said Ryoko.
"Had to try."
"Now," said Ukyou. "How'd you survive that blast at the bridge? What
happened to you? And what was with that strange aura?"
Ryo hmmmed. There didn't seem to be too much harm in telling them. He
thought of the possibilities, but no, no harm to be done at all.
"We were... at the bridge. My memory is hazy at this point, there are
things I remember that aren't right. Ryouga... turned into a pig... but
that can't be right."
Ukyou coughed violently for a brief second.
"The bridge was collapsing..." continued Ryo, "and then I was...
somewhere. It's all a blur. I wandered for weeks... I think I was in
China. Then, one day, it all changed..."
***
[the recent past]
Ryo angrily stomped through the thick foliage of the jungle, limping
and looking very much on the edge of madness. Damn this green... green...
stuff! He swore he'd join the "Pave the Earth" foundation if he ever got
out of there. And if he'd ever get his memory straight. He was getting
hurt, alot, because of some of the hazzards that the plants sometimes
covered up. He almost fell off of a cliff once.
Then there were the unexpected nuisances. He was stomping around
minding his own business when a group of gaijin lunatics pop out of the
bush and start yelling at him about getting in the way of their cameras
and the pandas. A film about pandas! How mundane! He muttered a silent
curse against all gaijins as he stomped through the wilderness.
He swatted some tall grass with the red umbrellla (he picked it up in
China) angrily and stomped onward. Suddenly, he felt a chill and turned
around.
A large figure, clad in a black military outfit and matching cape stood
there.
No, that wasn't quite right.
The dark figure _hovered_ there. He also was surrounded by a fiery
energy that pulsed blue, purple, and deep red.
"You," the dark man rumbled, "have great potential. I extend to you an
invitation to join my ranks."
"Why should I?"
"Join me, and I will give you wealth, prestige, and show you true
power. The dark powers of the soul. Psycho power."
"Psycho Power?" Ryo sneered, "It's nothing I've heard of."
"Oh?" The dark man began to flare. He grinned evily. "But then, in
your current state, you've heard of very little. Isn't that true?"
He had to admit, that was true.
The Shadoloo Lord considered the boy before him carefully. "Perhaps I
am being too generous... but I shall aid you. I sense a kindrid spirit in
you. It pleases me to see such a thing."
"What... kinda of aid do you offer?" Ryo couldn't help but look into
his eyes. They were so... hypnotic.
"Come closer, and I will show you." The Shadoloo Lord's armored hands
began to glow with an unnatural purple, red, and black flame. The boy
felt compelled to step forward, despite the fear he felt.
The military man reached forward quick as lightining and grabbed him by
the skull. Dark flames flared around them.
Two voices were heard in the deep of the jungle: the bellowing
laughter of the Lord of the Shadoloo, and the agonizing screams of Ryo
Muhoshin.
After a few seconds of agonizing contact, Ryo's head was released. His
smoking body fell to the ground and his mind was on fire with memories of
old, surging back all at once. This was hurting far worse than he
expected.
As Ryo writhed on the ground in pain, he could have sword he heard
someone say, "oops."
"D..did you j-just say... oops?" he muttered weakly.
The crime lord didn't dignify that question with an answer. Instead,
he gave a typical villianous speech.
"I give you a taste of true power... and your memories restored. I
leave the rest to you, although... I know you will not dissapoint me."
***
"... and here I am today. Simple, yes?"
Ukyou looked at him as if he was insane.
Ryoko regarded him warily.
Megane and Kyoko were looking over the deserts menu.
There was something wrong with this scene, thought Ryo.
"How, may I ask, are you paying for this dinner?" he asked. Ryoko
quickly put his credit card in her back pocket. Unfortunately, he
noticed.
"And how of my money have you used?" he asked, eyes narrowed. That
decidedly unnatural dark aura was slowly beginning to return to him.
"H-hey... we thought you were dead!" protested Ryoko.
"You stole from him?" wondered Ukyou quietly.
"_How_Much?_" said Ryo with a strain in his voice. That disturbing
aura got a shade brighter.
"Aheh... well... we did think you were dead," she said nervously.
Ryo blinked. "All of it."
Ryoko slowly nodded.
Kyoko ordered a milkshake.
Megane ordered a pina-colada.
Ukyou finished her tally of the damage to Ucchan's, and sent the
estimate, complete with Ryo's credit card number.
"And... let's see... what else... oh yes. You're in love with...
_Ryouga_." Once more, he was alight in purple and ebony flames, and his
eyes were obscured by demonic light.
"Ryo... calm down," said Ryoko nervously.
"I almossst forgot about Ryougaaaaa." With a blinding flash of light,
he vanished, leaving empty chains in the chair.
"Uh oh," muttered Ryoko.
"And, Ryoko, I want my wallet back later," said the disembodied voice
of Ryo Muhoshin.
"Baibai, oniichan!" yelled Kyoko.
"Hey, how do you know Ryo anyways?" Ukyou asked Ryoko.
"He's... ah... he's my... well... he's my brother."
Ukyou was surprised. There wasn't any family resemblance. "Was he
adopted?" she wondered.
"We wonder that a lot ourselves."
***
In his room, Gosunkugi opened a long untouched book.
For some reason, the call was stronger than ever. It demanded to be
opened, and Gosunkugi couldn't ignore it.
He flung the book open and it shot forth a bright blue light, engulfing
him. One moment, he was in his room. The next, he was... nowhere.
WELCOME, HIKARU GOSUNKUGI.
----------
The women of the apartments screamed in terror. They were running
through the halls, screaming, looking for deadly weaponry, and looking
very angry.
"What's the matter, ladies? Aren't you glad I'm back? Wheee!"
Happosai gleefully said. He darted past a barrage of kitchen knives, dove
under a wall of women armed with baseball bats, and crashed out a window.
"See you pretty ladies later, okay? Hahahahaha! What a haul! What
a..."
Suddenly, Happosai stopped.
"Hm. Wait. I sense something.... HE is ba-*ACK*"
Unfortunately, he stopped long enough for an angry mob of women to
catch up to him....
----------
[some days later]
A cruise ship sailed into the harbors of Tokyo. Crowds surged on the
edges of the boat to have a look at this city's bright lights.
One particular girl looked out at the city with hope in her eyes.
Manami Hinako looked out, across the waters, across the towers, across
the miles of streets, looking for her first true love. It seemed destined
that they be together again. Manami was already happily astonished when
her father told her that they'd have to move back to Tokyo because the
company had changed it's mind. She felt lightheaded at the now very
realistic possibility of their reuinion.
Manami looked down at the photograph of the bandanna-clad boy which she
kept in her locket and whispered, "Where are you now?"
-------
Gosunkugi sat in his room, in a blank state of mind. Ever since he...
came back from... Nowhere... he hadn't budged an inch. Candles were once
again tied up on his forehead, but unlit. At the moment, Gosunkugi was
speechless.
Being told that you're supposed to be the next great sorcerer tends to
have that effect.
It all seemed to make sense somehow, all the reasons why his magic so
far has been woefully unsuccessfull. He just wasn't doing it right.
Almost right, but not exactly right. He chanted silently in his head and
gestured with his arms. The candles on his forehead lit up, but not with
flame. Instead, a light, no warmth coming from it, was attached to each
end of the candle, glowing blue.
Well, that was the simple stuff. Easy. He could never have done that
in the past. He looked at a doll and remembered all his past failures,
and smiled at how stupid he was. Then he looked at the stack of self-help
books and frowned. He'd resorted to those silly things when he thougth
magic had totally failed him. Now he knew better. With a dramatic swing
of his arm he gestured towards the books.
He gestured again.
Nothing.
He took a deep breath, looked at the books carefully, and then slowly
waved his arm in their direction. The books dissapeared in a puff of
smoke.
Gosunkugi smiled. He had been given the ability to better comprehend
the technicalities of magic. Maybe he couldn't yet do great feats of
wonder, but he was more powerfull now than he'd ever been.
Life seemed, to him, to be taking a magnificently great turn for the
better. If those bullies ever even tried to mess with them again there'd
be hell to pay. In fact, why not get a little revenge? Sounds like a
good idea, doesn't it? And Akane... ah... no. That's over.
But what about Ukyou?
Gosunkugi slowly formed a possible love spell, but then dismissed it.
Maybe he was desperate and dateless, but he didn't want an artificial
substitute. He was determined to do this the right way, he'd win her
heart, he'd charm her socks off, he'd be suaaaave. Then he frowned.
He'd have to get rid of Ryouga.
And that rampaging demon too.
For a few minutes, Gosunkugi looked through the book, picking,
choosing, and memorizing what spells looked particularly helpful against
anything that might have come straight from hell: exorcism, holy touch,
protection spells against all sorts of danger, including evil, demons, and
magic, healing spells, and other interesting items. Out of habit, he
brought along his mallet, spike, and voodoo doll, as well as a few shinto
wards.
And for Ryouga, he had a few different spells in mind. Mostly of a
destructive nature.
Gosunkugi started humming a happy tune and strolled out the door.
-------
A girl and her rather vicious looking pig walked down the streets of
Nerima. She sat down, looking sad. "I don't know," she said to the pig,
"I don't think I'll ever find a worthy husband. Grandfather would have
been dissapointed."
The pig snorted.
"We've been traveling for such a long time. It's amazing how many
people can't beat you, Katus-Nigiri. You're a strong one, aren't you."
She said, scratching behind one of the pigs ears. It squealed proudly.
"I really was hoping that Shutaro Mendo would be the one. It would
have been nice to be rich. I wanted to stop wandering around so much."
The pig grunted and glared at her.
"I know, Katsu-Nigiri, I shouldn't give up."
The pig squealed.
"I'll find the man of my dreams if it's the last thing I do!" she
said, standing up and yelling at the sky. She sat down on the sidewalk.
"But where on earth is he, anyways?"
Somebody bumped into her, knocking her over. "Ow!" she yelled, falling
down.
The pig snorted in a rather hostile manner at a bandanna-clad figure.
"Oh, sorry." He said, reaching out to help her up. "Really, I am."
{He's... cute} she thought.
"Er... interesting pig you've got there," he awkwardly said. The pig
glared at him in a very unfriendly fashion.
"He's a sumo pig." she said proudly. "Hi, um... my name's Akari...
Akari Unryuu. Sorry I got in your way."
"Oh, not at all. I just wasn't looking at where I was going. My
name's Ryouga Hibiki." he said. "If you'll excuse me, I've gotta get
back home soon."
"Do you live in this city?" Akari asked.
"Yeah, I'm working at Ucchan's resteraunt. Drop in some time." Ryouga
said, smiling, and wandered away.
Akari looked at him with an appraising eye. "He's so hansome!" she
squealed. "So, what do you think?" she asked her pig.
The pig grunted.
"Well, one way to find out. Let's go!" she said, and the pig charged.
--------
Ukyou stood at the doorway of her resteraunt, watching the sunset. She
thought about the events of the past several days, and about how she
reacted to them. They were rather hectic days, really. Just when things
were settling down to an eerie sort of normality, it got weird again.
Maybe it was weird, but it felt like the _right_ kind of weirdness to her.
She closed her eyes, and a boy's smile came to mind. It wasn't
Ranma's.
Ukyou adjusted the yellow and black bandanna that held her hair back.
She looked out into the streets, searching for a bandanna-clad figure,
and sighed.
"I hope that idiot didn't leave Japan," she said affectionately.
-------
And so Ryouga wandered through the streets, feeling pretty good in
general. Admittedly, picking up several love interests and finding out
that your worst enemies seemed to have gotten a major power boost was not
good. That wasn't important at the moment.
It felt pretty damn good to be _here_ in this city, this district, this
little corner of the world. It was a nice feeling, right here right now.
A girl's smile came to form in his mind. It wasn't Akane's. Ryouga
smiled and it seemed that somewhere in the universe there was a *snap* as
if a loop was being closed or a boulder started to roll again after being
held back by a small twig.
He hummed a little tune he heard once when he passing through America.
He didn't notice the sumo-pig charging at him a block away.
He didn't notice a young girl named Manami behind a window of a
restaurant holding a locket which held a picture of her first love. She
stared at Ryouga as he past by, in shock as she realizes that the boy who
just walked by matches the photo perfectly.
He didn't notice Tatewaki Kunou glowing with dark ki energy charging at
him with a frighteningly fiery bokken.
He didn't notice Kodachi Kunou with her bouquet of toxic flowers and
fiery obsession in her eyes.
He didn't notice Gosunkugi perched high atop a building nearby, candles
once again tied to his head but this time burning a supernatural blue. He
was aiming a rather nasty curse at Ryouga.
He didn't notice Ryo Muhoshin struggling to run at him, being held back
by Megane and Kyoko. Ryo didn't notice Happosai charging at him from
behind.
He didn't notice Ryoko bounding towards him and calling his name.
He didn't notice Ranma rocketing across the skyline in yet another
Akane-induced crosstown flight. He didn't hear Ranma either, as he yelled
"Heeeeeey Ryooooooougaaaa!"
He didn't notice the trash can that suddenly sprouted robotic arms,
spidery legs, several interesting bits of weaponry, and had a maniacal
transvestite at the helm.
Ryouga went on, still happily humming and occasionally singing a song.
"Da da-da, Da da-da....dadadumdadadumdadadumdadadumdadadum..." He might
have been happy, but he was not musically inclined. Fortunately, nobody
heard him display this astounding lack of talent.
He dug into his shirt and pulled out a little compass necklace. He
looked at it and smiled. "Guess I'd better find my way back." he said,
and started walking again, hopefully in the right direction.
After all, he had to get back home.
----------------------------------------------------
[keep sound of Ryouga humming]
[Fade out from scene]
[Roll credits]
[Start credits sequence]
[Ryouga's humming tune merges with a song that begins playing, getting
louder as it begins, and soon the humming is replaced by...]
"I'm gonna be (500 miles)"
by The Proclaimers
from Sunshine on Leith
When I wake up [Scene from Part I where Ryouga gets
yeah I know I'm gonna be awakened rather violently when Ukyou
I'm gonna be the man hits him with the spatula.]
who wakes up next to you
When I go out [Scene of Ryouga and Ukyou in the movie
yeah I know I'm gonna be theater, sitting in the theater and
I'm gonna be the man enjoying the movie.]
who goes along with you
====================================
MANY THANKS TO: RUMIKO TAKAHASHI...
====================================
If I get drunk [Flashback of Ryouga entering Ucchan's
yes I know I'm gonna be while somewhat drunk, then he gets
I'm gonna be the man dragged away quickly by Ukyou.]
who gets drunk next to you
=============================
...THE FANFIC MAILING LIST...
=============================
And if I haver [Show flashback of Ryouga and Ukyou
yeah I know I'm gonna be in the woods talking while Ryouga
I'm gonna be the man practices with his umbrella.]
who's havering to you
============================
...THE RANMA MAILING LIST...
============================
But I would walk 500 miles [Show flashback clip of Ryouga's tour
And I would walk 500 more around the world, Paris, Seattle, etc]
Just to be the man
who walked 1,000 miles
To fall down at your door
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...MY BOSSES, WHO NEVER BUGGED ME WHILE
I WAS WRITING THIS INSTEAD OF WORKING...
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When I'm working [Show flashback clips of Ryouga working the
yes I know I'm gonna be tables, cleaning dishes, lifting heavy
I'm gonna be the man equipment, etc etc at Ucchan's.]
who's working hard for you
And when the money
comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny
on to you
=======================
AND FINALLY, COCA-COLA!
=======================
When I come home [Ryouga walks down the street, using Ukyou's
yeah I know I'm gonna be compass to guide him. He's smiling a bit.
I'm gonna be the man who From far behind, a massive war party
comes back home to you including Ryo, Kunou, Kodachi, Mecha-Tsubasa,
And if I grow old Ryoko, Sumo-pig, etc etc etc are charging at
well I know I'm gonna be Ryouga and catching up to him. Ryouga doesn't
I'm gonna be the man notice.]
who's growing old with you
When I'm lonely [Show Ukyou standing at the restaurant door
yes I know I'm gonna be fiddling with the bandanna that ties her hair
I'm gonna be up. Camera shifts to over-her-shoulder view.
the man who's lonely Ryouga appears, walking from around a corner,
without you smiling and waving.]
When I'm dreaming [Ukyou smiles. Then the rest of the war
yes I know I'm gonna dream party become visible. She frowns
Dream about the time and retreats into the store, closing
when I'm with you the door quickly.]
[Fade out as the camera does a closeup of Ryouga's hand reaching for the
door. There's one second of black and silence There's one second of black
and silence and then Loud Violent Fighting Noises (TM) erupt.]
[End with Ryouga screaming.]
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======== A NEW BEGINNING =======
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