=========================================================
                      PART I
It's The End of the World as We Know It (and I Feel Fine)
=========================================================


[Evening, September]

   The sun set on another dull Nerima day.  Through tired eyes, a sad
figure in a restaurant watched the setting sun, relieved another day was
over and wondering how many more he could take. 
   The grim demeanor he cast today was the aftereffects of one of the most
unexpected and traumatic events of his life.  It had been a couple of
months since his life went to hell, and yet he still hurt as if it was
just yesterday.  He closed his eyes. 

   "Hey... Ryouga... you awake?" 

   Ryouga snored, asleep, and drowned in his own personal hell of memories
of past events. 

--------

   He stepped out of the house accidentally one day while looking for
the bathroom and when he managed to get back to the dojo (a week later)
Akane herself dropped the bomb on him. 

   She greeted him with a warm hug.  How could he have known anything bad
would happen after a warm hug?
   "Hey, Ryouga!" she said, "where've you been?  I missed you!" 
   Ryouga was beyond stunned and suddenly high on Bliss. 
   "Well, I, um, was in some place... aheh... lots of sand..." 
   "I really wanted you to be here," she said.  Ryouga's mind was tripping
out with Happiness.  He might have achieved Terminal Nirvana if she didn't
stop with the affection. 
   "Oh, Akane... I..." 
   "You'll never guess what happened!" 
   "Ah... Mr. Tendou won the lottery?" 
   "Nope." 
   "Ranma finally left?" 
   "Guess again." 
   "Happosai died?" 
   "Wrong again!  I'm getting married!" 
   "Wha... er... I mean, WHAT?!"
   "Me and Ranma!  We finally decided to go through with the engagement!" 
   "RANMA?!?" Ryouga went cold.  "Why- how- when did you two..?" 
   "Surprised?" She asked. 

   Surprise would be an understatement.  He was in shock.  The high
dosages of Bliss were soon replaced with lethal doses of Angst.  He
proceeded to stand there as Akane went into detail on the day that Ranma
officially proposed to her, and how they celebrated the event happily, and
how they decided they were going to be married after they finished high
school, and how Mr. Tendou and Mr. Saotome had quickly thrown out a
surprised Shampoo.  She didn't notice Ryouga flinching every now and then
after one of her happy giggles and sighs.

   "Akane," Ryouga asked, looking serious, taking her hand, "t-tell me,
are you happy?  With Ranma, I mean." 
   Quietly, she replied, "Yeah, I really am.  I didn't think we'd even get
to this point, but I... I love him" 
   "You didn't eat any weird spices, did you?  Get hit on the head?" 
   "No, silly!  I really want to do this." 
   "And... um... there's .... nobody else you... you...ever..." 
   "Huh?" 
   "Never mind."  Ryouga sighed, put on his best I'm-happy-for-you face,
and looked at Akane.  "Er... congratulations Akane, I'm happy for you..." 
   Akane gave another big hug.  Ryouga was as uncomfortable as ham in a
can. 

   With Ranma as his main competition for Akane's heart, Ryouga felt he
was sure to win.  After all, Ranma treated her badly all the time and
Ryouga always was so nice to her.  He just couldn't imagine Ranma winning
this race. 
   But he did. 

   "Thanks Ryouga, that means a lot to me." 
   "Let me go c-congratulate the Groom."  He stepped out of the embrace. 
"Where is R-Ranma?" 
   "He's out getting something for Kasumi.  Are you okay?  You look a bit
pale." 
   "I..I'll just g-go look for him.  See you later, Akane." 
   Ryouga ran out, wandering the city. 

--------

   Ryouga went back one more time.  He just had to know.  He had to make
sure she was _really_ alright.  Maybe she was being forced to act this way
by Ranma, maybe she accidentally ate Shampoo's mind-altering ramen, maybe
she got possessed by a spirit or something.  Weird things happened in
Nerima. 
   He hid near the Tendou Dojo, waiting for Ranma to show up. 
   Ranma walked down the street whistling a happy tune, his defenses
clearly lowered alot (which was very unusual for Ranma). 
   Ryouga sprang up, surprised Ranma, and grabbed him by the neck. 
   "Damn you, Saotome." 
   "R*ack*Ryouga, I see *wheeze* you've heard the *ack* news." 
   Ryouga looked straight into Ranma's eyes.  "Dammit, no lies now.  Did
she REALLY say yes?" 
   *ack* "Yes." 
   Ryouga loosened his grip.  "She didn't eat a spiced Shampoo dish meant
for you?" 
   "No." 
   "She isn't possessed by a spirit again, is she?" 
   "No!"
   They stood there, frozen.  Actually, Ryouga was standing there frozen,
Ranma was being held by the neck so he couldn't move much anyways. 
   "Do you _really_ love her?" 
   "Yes!" 
   Ryouga started to glow with ki-power surrounding him. 

   Nobody moved.  Time slowed down.  Ryouga cast an angry glare. 

   "Get this straight," he said, "take good care of her, alright?  If you
EVER hurt her," he closed his eyes, "I'LL KILL YOU!" he yelled, flinging
Ranma over the fence and into the Tendou pond. 
   Damn him, Ryouga thought bitterly.
   The days following this traumatic event had Ryouga reeling.  He was not
only lost in location but in mind.  He wandered aimlessly.  There were
several times when he saw _her_.  Or he thought he saw _her_.  Ryouga's
heart couldn't take it and so, whenever he even thought she was nearby,
Ryouga ran away as fast as he could.  He didn't have much left in the
world to look forward to. 
   Ryouga still had that old grudge against Ranma to settle, but killing
him might break Akane's heart.  No matter what, Ryouga valued her
happiness.
   He lost his love, a bright angel in his otherwise miserable life.  She
was his only source of hope and happiness. 
   He lost his honorable duel, which fueled him through thousands of miles
on foot, across land and sea.  The thirst for revenge gave him a purpose
in life, an honorable and noble quest. 

   Nobody to love, nobody to kill, he'd lost everything.

   Life sucked. 

--------

   "'Scuse me, earth to Ryouga!!!  He-LLOOO?" 

   He tried not to think about it, really he did.  Thinking about the
whole situation was hazardous. 
   The two hazardous things about Ryouga Hibiki are his talent and his
state of mind. 
   His talent was the ability to release an incredibly powerful blast of
ki.  Unlike other martial artists who focus their ki by mere concentration
or a mantra, his ki was generated by depression.
   Ryouga's state of mind WAS depression.  He was depressed during roughly
70% of his day, and 80% of his nights.  It was really amazing that Ryouga
grew up to be so healthy and strong instead of... for example... like
Gosunkugi.  Whenever ESPers passed by the Nerima district or Ryouga
wandered near them, they felt suddenly suicidal. 
   That's how depressed Ryouga was on an average day. 
   Deep in sleep, he growled.  He saw the images of the past few weeks
before him.  He envisioned Ranma, happy and triumphant before him, just
too damn arrogant, gloating over his countless victories over Ryouga.  The
kind of guy Ryouga'd love to blast to hell.  In a low voice, he rumbled
"shishi houkou-" 

   *WHAM* "HEY!!!" SNAP OUT OF IT!!!" 

   Ryouga, head flattened by a titanic spatula, woke up.  "What?" 
   "Ryouga, buddy, snap out of it!  You were gonna blow up the
restaurant!!!!" 
   "Ukyou, give me a break.  I haven't blasted anything since last week." 
   "Ryouga... you can see me, right?" 
   "Clearly, yeah." 
   "The sun set a few minutes ago." 
   "So..."  Ryouga wondered what her problem was.  Ukyou was getting
overly-eager to use that spatula lately. 
   "Is the room dark?" 
   "No... wait a minute, why aren't the lightbulbs on?" 
   "Ryouga, look at yourself!" 
   "Oh...  am I flaring up again?  Excuse me a moment, I'll be outside." 
   Ukyou Kuonji watched as Ryouga walked, in a manner not unlike a zombie,
out the door and ki-blasted his depression into the sky.  "That idiot. 
Why do I put up with him?" 
   Several dazed birds suddenly fell unto the roof of Ucchan's.  They had
been unexpectedly shot down by a ki-blast of angst. 

   She sighed, watching him slouch back into the restaraunt.  At times
like this she wondered why she even bothered to help him out.  It was a
while back, a little after she found out that Ranma and Akane were
serious, and Ranma and her wasn't meant to be...

   Ukyou walked, actually wandered around the streets of Nerima in a daze.
   {Ranchan, why?  Why not me?  I thought... I....!}
   It had been several days since Ranma made his announcement, officially
becoming an item with Akane and declaring all his other engagements void.
   {Why....}
   She cried, of course.  She didn't like doing that.  It made her feel
weak, and that was another thing that she didn't like.
   {Damn you...}
   She _begged_ him to change his mind, she yelled at him in anger for
betraying her like he had, and she walked away feeling foolish, betrayed,
and so very much alone. 
   So, when does the pain stop? she asked herself. 
   She decided to close down the shop for a couple of days.  Her emotional
state was ruining her cooking technique.  Staying in the house was all she
could bear to do, at first, but the depression caught up to her, and she
decided to wander. 
   Just wander. 
   No particular place in mind, really. 
   Maybe it would help her forget? 
   So, she thought, maybe this is the real reason Ryouga is lost so much? 
   She laughed bitterly at her own joke as she walked by shops, markets,
buisness offices, and just kept on moving.  A tear formed in her eye. 
   Dammit, she thought, I am _not_ gonna go to pieces over a guy! 
   I'm not... 
   I'm... 

   "Hey, you, get a move on!" 
   "Go 'way." 
   Ukyou snapped out of her haze. 
   I know that voice, she thought.  That's... 
   Nearby, in an alley, an officer was standing angrily over a ragged,
dirty, unkept, and apparently drunk Ryouga. 
   Oh man, she thought, he looks like a wreck!  That idiot.
   "Officer!  I know this guy!  I'll take care of it," she said, rushing
over to them. 
   The officer turned, examined her, and said, "you'd better get him outta
here, right now.  We've been getting complaints." 
   "Sorry that he's a bother, sir.  C'mon, Ryouga, let's go."  She pulled
him to his feet, put his arm around her shoulder, and together they
staggered away. 

   Ryouga, not in much shape to do anything, didn't, as Ukyou helped him
stagger some blocks away.  After some distance, his brain finally kicked
in and decided to find out what was going on.  As far as he could tell, he
was in a commercial neighborhood, with Ukyou, helping him walk. 
   "Wha... Ukyou... whacha doin?" 
   "C'mon, stupid, let's get you cleaned up." 
   "Don'wanna." 
   "What then hell are you doing to yourself?  You stupid jerk!  You're
gonna get yourself in trouble." 
   "Shadup." 
   Ukyou stopped. 
   "_What_ did you say?" 
   "Go'way, dammit." 
   She angrily grabbed Ryouga by the collar.  "LISTEN UP YOU IDIOT!  IF
YOU KEEP THIS UP, I _WILL_ LEAVE YOU OUT HERE ON THE STREET TO ROT!  IF IT
WEREN'T FOR THE FACT THAT WE'RE FRIENDS, I'D KICK YOUR ASS RIGHT NOW, GOT
IT?  NOW STOP PUTTING UP THE ATTITUDE AND SNAP OUT OF IT!" 
   Ryouga blinked, then snarled.  "Lis... listen up, y... you bitch..." 
   Ukyou's fist clenched.  She started to do that blue glowing bit that
Akane did so well.
   Ryouga, ignoring her flaring battle aura, continued, "I DON'T NEED YOUR
HELP!  I DON'T NEED ANYBODY!  GOT THAT?!  LEAVE ME ALONE!" 
   "You... you... you jackass!!!" She looked around for something to hit
Ryouga with, and picked up a nearby bucket full of water. 
   -clang- *SPLASH*
   "Bwee!" 
   She blinked in surprise.  "P-chan?"  She picked up the squealing,
snarling piglet with the yellow bandanna.  "YOU were P-chan?" 
   P-chan glared at her. 
   She started shaking, covering her mouth. 
   "HAAHAHAHHAHAHA!  Oh, this is funny."  She continued giggling, with
P-chan still held up by his bandanna.  He squealed angrily and tried to
get loose. 
   "Say, I wonder what Akane'll think if she finds out, eh?" 
   "BWEEEEEEE! BWEBWEBWEBWE!" 
   "Calm down, I'm just joking!"  She patted P-chan on the head.  He
settled down, but still looked angry.  "C'mon, piggie, let's get outta
here." 
   She couldn't wipe the smirk off her face.  No wonder Ranchan kept on
calling Ryouga P-chan!  Ha! 
   Then she remembered Ranma and her mood crashed back down.  "C'mon,
pig-boy, stop squirming." 
   P-chan stopped struggling and settled into a piggish sort of
grumpiness.

   After he sobered up, Ryouga didn't mind Ukyou's offer of help and
refuge.  She was one of the few people Ryouga considered as a friend. 
After all, she had helped him on several occasions to try to win over
Akane.  The other "friends" of his were either people he didn't want to
come into contact with (Akane and Ranma) or were living with hazardous
people (Mousse and his situation with Shampoo and Cologne).

   Ukyou set up the attic of Ucchan's to serve as a room for Ryouga, with
pig-friendly plumbing added by him.  She didn't mind Ryouga's presence,
just as long as he helped out at the restaurant.  Besides, she was scared
that his self-destructive habits would run wild if someone didn't watch
over him. 
   She was every bit as surprised as Ryouga was about Ranma's decision,
maybe even more.  Before the news, she was confident that in the end,
she'd win Ranma's heart.  She believed she was cuter than Akane, less
psycho than her other competitors for Ranma, could cook better than any of
them too, and knew Ranma for the longest time.  She, as did the other
fiancees, put up much protest and property damage when they found out
about his decision.  For the first time, Ranma actually showed a little
backbone when dealing with the female furies, which sent Kodachi and
Shampoo over the edge and into a kind of Fatal Attraction behavior.  But
unlike the rest, Ukyou cared more about how Ranma felt as well, and was the
first to surrender to her loss (after much stomping around with her battle
spatula and strongly resisting the urge to begin some serious property
damage). She even sent a congratulations card.
   It didn't change the fact that she was devastated.  Maybe as much as
Ryouga.  However, Ukyou was never one to stand still.  She was determined
to get on with her life.  Her personality had obtained a slightly hard
edge to it in dealing with recent events, but she felt she was dealing
with it far better than certain other girls.

--------

   Chinese Amazons are a very unstable lot. 

   Take for example a certain purple-haired Chinese Amazon known as
Shampoo.  At the moment she was behind her store, the Nekohanten, armed
with a sword and practicing on straw dummies.  When she had found out that
Ranma had proposed to Akane Tendou, (Shampoo had accidentally bike-crashed
her way into the moment he was proposing to Akane.) she wasn't sad. 
   *slash*
   She wasn't filled with angst. 
   *whoosh*
   Oh no, not her. 
   *whack*
   Shampoo was _mad_. 

   It has been said that hell hath no fury like that of a woman spurned. 
Whoever coined this phrase possibly met a Chinese Amazon, and may have
even married one. 
   The source of her aggravation was indeed from being spurned.  It had
set off a mixed set of emotions within her.  Shampoo had come to actually
_hate_ Ranma.  She didn't stop loving him, but she also hated him at the
same time.  For a while, she had gone on a violent streak, which had done
nothing for her except earn her a court order to stay away from the Tendou
residence for a short time.  In between the love and the hate, a sort of
I-don't-care-anymore mentality was growing, but not fast enough to prevent
her anger from slowly and surely heating up over time.  Sooner or later it
would boil over. 

--------

    Meanwhile, in the kitchen, her great-grandmother Cologne was cooking
up food and contemplating her dilemma.  She had to have great
granddaughter married to a strong warrior, and Ranma Saotome was the
first to be able to defeat Shampoo.
   Unfortunately, Saotome had made his choice, and it wasn't Shampoo. 
Furthermore, he had found a point of leverage when he discovered that
their residence in Japan was not exactly legal and angrily threatened
Cologne with deportation if she or Shampoo had put any more extreme
measures to pressure him into marrying Shampoo or made any threat on
Akane.  Cologne suspected Nabiki Tendou's hand in this treachery, since
Ranma certainly was never clever enough to come up with such a plan.
However, such a threat made against her was a grievous insult, and Cologne
was beginning to resent the tremendous lack of it she had always gotten
from Ranma.  Sure, he was a strong fighter, but he was too smart for his
own good sometimes.
   Cologne hadn't written off the idea of ensnaring Ranma yet.  She just
stopped putting pressure on him for the moment.  It was time to get a
backup plan.  She couldn't return to China and allow Shampoo to come home
twice in dishonor.  Cologne was determined that Shampoo _would_ find a
husband in Japan before ever setting foot in China again.

--------

   On the roof of the Nekohanten, Mousse was watching the stars come out. 
   Mousse felt like he was one lucky duck. 
   At last, there were no more rivals for Shampoo's heart!  The only
things that stood in his way now were that old ghoul Cologne and Shampoo
herself, but that would not be enough to stop him. 
   Mousse stood up and rang out his new battle cry:  "You will be mine,
Shampoo!!!  Oh yes, You will be mine! A-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" 

--------

   Alone in the family garden, Tatewaki Kunou stood, bokken at the ready,
practice targets around him.  Kunou was one of a long line of kendo
masters, and his arrogant behavior served to remind everyone of that fact. 
He had been, until a year ago, the undefeated kendo champion of Furinkan
high.  Undefeated, that is, until the evil sorcerer Ranma Saotome had come
to town.  Using various black arts he had thwarted Kunou on various
occasions.  Kunou went to extremes in finding ways to defeat Saotome.  He
had his ninja spy on the Tendou residence frequently.  He had allied
himself with an incompetent mage that played with dolls too much and
wrinkled old trolls with bizarre abilities.  He had even gone through an
extremely hazardous training technique which had indeed improved his
mighty skills even more but had temporarily left him with amnesia and had
permanently installed the reflex to slice nearby watermelons with blazing
speed, accuracy, and in even slices. 

   What would drive a man to such extremes? 

   Primarily, it was his extreme obsession with Akane Tendou and the
Pig-Tailed Girl.  Akane was the girl whose heart he had long chased after. 
Akane was like a goddess of war, strong, unconquerable, and beautiful. 
The pig-tailed girl was a mysterious figure.  She was to him a modern day
Venus, strong in vitality and beauty.  The cur Saotome had time and again
dared to stand in Kunou's way in his quest to win the hearts of these two
women.  Anyone who knew Kunou wasn't surprised that he decided to chase
them both.  He was always in extremes. 
   Kunou was extremely enraged when he heard the news that Saotome had the
gall to claim his engagement to Akane was now official.  His rather
limited reasoning capacity would not allow for the possibility of Akane
not being his.  However, there was a spark of intelligence within Kunou's
mind which realized something: If Ranma was truly to dedicate himself to
Akane only, that would mean... that would mean the Pig-Tailed Girl would
now be free!!!! 
   More than ever before, Kunou was _extremely_ fixed on the pig-tailed
girl. 
   This point was emphasized by the four meter tall poster of her hanging
from his ceiling (Now that Akane's poster was down, there was more room). 
The price of pig-tailed girl photos from Nabiki had tripled in price and
yet Kunou did not even raise a hint of protest.  Another hint of his mania
was the twenty page love note he was in the middle of writing. 

   Kunou's sister, Kodachi, would normally be somewhere in the house,
cooking intentionally toxic food or scheming to assassinate Akane Tendou. 
Run of the mill wicked sister stuff. 

   Unfortunately, she violated the court order restricting her from going
anywhere near the Saotomes or Tendous. 

   The phone rang.  Kunou's eyes widened.  "SASUKE!  HALT!" 
   Sasuke appeared suddenly before him.  "Master Kunou?" 
   "Don't answer the phone." 
   "But Master, what if it's mistress Kodachi?" 
   "Have you no ears, man?  Do _not_ answer the phone.  Do you
understand?"
   "... Yes Master." 
   Kunou breathed a sigh of relief.  The phone rang on.  He'd let the
answering machine pick it up. 

   "//Greetings.  You have indeed reached the sanctuary of the great and
noble Kunou family.  Alas, we are unable to respond to your calls at the
moment, so please leave thy name, phone number, and the message which you
wish to impart upon our ears after the tone.  Thank you.//" 

   *BEEP* "Hello?  Brother dear?  Sasuke?  Daddy?  Is anyone there?" 

   Kunou could have bailed her out, but why bother?  It wasn't that he
wasn't close to his sister.  He was, in a sense, ever since the time
their father had abandoned them both for a long vacation in Hawaii.  It
was just that it had been so long since the Kunou house was so peaceful,
and Tatewaki had just discovered this _really_ good takeout restaurant. 

--------

   Gosunkugi hauled a big stack of books into his room and carefully
organized them.  These books were at an old bookstore, one of those dusty
kinds that you only find in the out-of-the-way places.  Gosunkugi had
heard of a rumor about some magical books there and so without hesitation
he tracked down the store and sure enough, there was a shelf dedicated to
magic!  The owner had warned that messing with magic could be dangerous,
but Gosunkugi didn't care.  After all, life was risk. 
   There was one book... one book that seemed to beckon to him.  He heard
whispers in his head when he just looked at it. 
   It spooked him. 
   Gosunkugi wasn't one to try overwhelming projects, and _that_
particular book, he felt, was something he shouldn't mess with until he
got the thing with the paper dolls figured out properly. 
   He thumbed through several other books until he found an interesting
spell. 
   "Hm... the supernatural assassin." he mumbled.  "summons a spirit to
kill the person who you wish eliminated.  The summoned spirit may take on
the appearance of the summoner, but no other unusual effects known." 
   Gosunkugi sat there.  He thought about it. 
   "Aw heck, why not?" he mumbled, and read the instructions.  He put
several candles on his head, drew a circle on the floor, and began
chanting: 

   "Forces of darkness
    Lords of shadows
    bring me a spirit
    to kill the source of my sorrows!" 

   He sighed.
   That was an incredibly stupid rhyme.
   It would be a miracle if he didn't end up offending some otherworldly
spirit with his prose.  He laughted at the thought of hell on earth being
released by really bad poetry.
   Outside, the winds blew harder, thunder rumbled.  From within, 
Gosunkugi's candles flickered out.  He looked at the circle in 
anticipation.  Suddenly, he heard a voice, a deep demonic voice: 

   "We're sorry, all spiritual assasins are currently under union strike
and are unavailable for service.  We hope to settle our differences with
management soon and return to duty.  Until then, leave your name, phone
number, and address, and we'll send a representative to you immediately
after the negotiations are done.  Have a nice day!" 

   Gosunkugi sighed.  He kneeled in front of the circle, treating it like
a rather large phone.
   "Um... hello?  I'm Hikaru Gosunkugi, my number is..." 

--------

   Outside, a gentle drizzle had just begun to fall, darkening the skies
and making travel undesirable by Jyusenkyou-challenged folk. 
   In the Tendou household it was a typical day.  Genma-panda and Soun
were playing their infinite rounds of shogi, Kasumi was cooking in the
kitchen, and Nabiki was talking to her squad of assistants on the phone. 
   Ranma was sitting, watching television, with Akane leaning on his side. 
   This wasn't typical. 
   If this was a preview of married life, it wasn't bad.  Not bad at all. 
   It was a big surprise to many that Akane and Ranma liked each other at
all.  Most people who saw Akane and Ranma together usually saw the pair
yelling at each other and Ranma running away from a well armed Akane. 
   There were several times when Akane was almost lost to him.  Being as
thick-headed as he was, it took all of those several times (when she was
taken by that Kirin guy, that Toma guy, almost getting dumped for that
Shinnosuke guy, etc etc etc the list goes on...) for him to finally
realize exactly why he was fighting so damn hard any time Akane got in
trouble.  He really did care about her.  And one day he realized how short
life was and thus proposed to her and she happily responded with a "Yes!" 

   At least, that's how he thought it went. 

   Since the engagement was made official, they'd gotten along much
better.  They both thought it probably had something to do with their
little post-engagement celebration, but this isn't THAT kind of a story so
the details aren't needed and it would be sufficent to say that their
relationship took at least one step forward.  She'd only punted him
through the roof once since then, and that was a big improvement from
before.  Not only that, but no more badgering from his dad or Mr. Tendou. 
   However, that didn't mean all was well in Nerima.  The major threat of
massive property damage was increased from it's already very high levels. 
Tatewaki Kunou had stepped up the frequency and ferocity of his attacks,
as well as increasing his wooing of Akane and especially of the Pig-Tailed
girl. 
   Ranma was especially worried about Ryouga.  He knew that Ryouga's
ki-blasts were fueled by depression, and he was afraid one day he'd wake
up to see a Mega shi-shi houkoudan wiping out the entire city. 

   "Hey, Ranma, you notice that Ryouga's been hanging out at Ukyou's alot
lately?" Akane asked, slightly derailing Ranma's line of thought. 
   "Well, yeah." 
   "You think Ryouga and Ukyou are... y'know..." 
   The thought had occurred to them before that those two might have had
something together, but they hadn't thought of it since that disasterous
vacation to the Cave of Lost Loves.  Ukyou and Ryouga?  Ryouga and Ukyou? 
Either way it didn't sound too bad at all. 
   "Well," Akane continued, "I think they'd make a sweet couple." 
   "Hm...  you think so?" 
   "Hey, how about we do a little matchmaking?  Ryouga's always seemed so
lonely." 
   "Why Ryouga, that sly little pig.  Him and Ukyou, eh?  That wouldn't be
bad at all.  Why not?"  Ranma knew that despite their rivalry, Ryouga was
an honorable guy.  Very loyal to people too.  Besides, if Ryouga got a
girlfriend, it would be like diffusing a nuclear warhead.  And if that
girlfriend was Ukyou, then there's two potential problems solved with
everyone happy.  There was still the problem with Shampoo, and he knew
that the current solution to that problem wouldn't work in the long run. 
He immediately thought of Mousse, and possibly coming up with a plan
later.  But then again, he didn't think too highly of Mousse's
intelligence, so his enthusiasm was limited.
   "Speaking of pigs, I wonder where P-Chan went.  It's been a month, I'm
getting worried." 
   "Ah, he'll be alright.  He always comes back, right?"  Ranma wrote a
mental note to himself:  Buy small black pig ASAP.  Get bandanna from
Ryouga. 
   Akane snuggled closer to Ranma. "Hey, Ranma, what do you want for
dinner? 
   "Kasumi hasn't planned anything yet?" 
   Akane smiled proudly and said "I'm cooking tonight." 
   "Akane," he said, holding her close, looking deeply into her eyes. 
   She felt his breath on her lips, his hands on her shoulders.  She
leaned forward so her forehead was touching his.  "Yes?" she whispered. 
   "We're going to be married soon, y'know?  I don't wanna die." 
   He smiled.  She blinked and gave him a light peck on the lips and then
a swift elbow to the gut.  "Jerk..." she said with a smile, resuming her
previous position leaning against him. 

   "Now, I'm not saying that your cooking hasn't improved," said Ranma. 
Akane smiled.  "I'm just saying that it's still incredibly bad." 

   *WHAM*

   Akane examined the new sunlight that she added to the roof.  "When will
he learn to keep his big mouth shut." 

   "Me and my big mouth," Ranma groaned, taking the scenic route _high_
above Nerima.  Off he went, hit by the drizzle and transformed into a
girl, over the Tendou's, past Furinkan High, waaay up there.  At the rate
she was going, it looked like Akane was going to tie her record for
distance.  {Seems like Akane hasn't lost her touch, eh?  Hm... at let's
see... speed... trajectory...  a-huh... I oughta be landing really far
today.}
   As Ranma flew past the Nekohanten, she spotted something.  {Oh, wait,
what was that down there?  Hey, it's Mousse.  Haven't seen him in a while. 
Guess I'll say hi.}

   "Heeeeeyyyyy Moooouuuuuuussee!!!" 

   Mousse looked around from under his umbrella.  He adjusted his glasses. 
He looked around again.  Cloudy skies and still streets greeted his eye. 

   "Strange," he muttered to himself, "now I'm hearing things." 

--------

   There was a room. 
   Actually, it was more like a garage. 
   Strewn on the floor were various mechanical bits, wrenches, ratchets,
bolts, some oil spots, and miscellaneous stains from working with large
mechanical items. 
   On the walls were various blueprints and sketches.  A Mishima Heavy
Industries calendar was hung there as well, opened up to Miss June in the
cockpit of a Poison-1 assault hoverjet. 
   Supported by various metal frames were several strange items, such as a
large potted plant, a park bench, a turn left sign, a trashcan, and a
large sign.  Out from under the turn left sign emerged what appeared to be
a little blond girl.  This was, in fact, Tsubasa.  He'd been making
several dramatic improvements in the durability of his costumes.  There
were two major reasons why, really.  First, Ukyou, his love of a lifetime,
had a tendancy to get very violent, and those disguises were not cheap to
replace.  Second, the crowd that she was a part of had a tendancy to cause
large explosions or other various disasterous effects, which also wrecked
his costumes.  Maybe in the short run, a ceramic-armor mailbox or a
teflon-cushoned turn left sign might be expensive, but in the long run, he
felt it would pay off. 

--------

   *WHAM*

   Ranma crashed down into a pile of trash cans.  She got up, brushed
herself off, and promptly got slammed back into the trash cans by another
flying (now crashing) person.  To be exact, it was a skinny, brown-haired
teen. 
   "Ouch," the newcomer said, "dammit, I hate when Shinobu acts like
that..." 
   "Gedoffameee..."  Ranma muttered. 
   Suddenly, the stranger stood up.  "Oh, sorry about that.  Let me help
you up."  He helped Ranma up and they both began brushing themselves off. 
   "Hi there, Ataru Moroboshi.  Sorry about that." 
   "Ataru Moroboshi?  Hey, I've seen you on TV.  Something about
aliens..." 
   "Whatever it was, it wasn't my fault." 
   "Er.. sure.  I'm Ranma Saotome."  They shook hands. 
   Ataru looked at Ranma carefully.  Normally, he wouldn't hesitate to try
and hit on a girl, or at least get in a cheap feel, and this girl was
pretty cute.  But something deep in Ataru's soul warned him that something
was wrong.  He hadn't had this feeling since he met that guy who dressed
up like a girl...  hm....  it couldn't be. She was just too cute.  But...
his gut instinct was warning him, so he just had to ask. 
   "Say... you're a guy, aren't you." Ataru said. 
   "Er... yeah." 
    Ataru was relieved that he listened to his instincts. 
   "What's with the sex change?  I mean, I felt'em when I landed on you. 
Those things are obviously not just cotton stuffed under a bra." 
   "Long story." Ranma muttered.  Ataru figured maybe it was one of those
weird sex-change zapguns that those obnoxious aliens sometimes carry.  He
found out about those from personal experience. 
   "So, tell me, what were you doing in the garbage pile?" asked Ataru. 
   "My fiancee hit me." 
   "You're engaged to a violent man?" Ataru asked. 
   "Er... no.  I'm engaged to a girl." 
   "Let me get this straight," said Ataru, "no joke intended, but you got
a sex change, and then got engaged to a girl?  Is she..." 
   "No!" 
   "Are you..." 
   "No!" 
   "O-kay... so, you've got a strong fiancee, huh?" 
   "Yeah, especially when she gets angry.  Got me with an uppercut today. 
What happened to you?" 
   "Ex-fiancee, spinning toss." 
   "Hm.  I'm familiar with that.  Say, where am I anyways?  I kinda lost
track while flying outta the Furinkan area." 
   "You're in the Tomobiki area right now." 
   Suddenly, the crackling sound of electricity was heard around the
corner.  "Daaaarling!  Where are you?" a feminine voice called out. 
   "Damn!  It's her!"  Ataru yelled. 
   "Her?  Your ex-fiancee?" 
   "No," he replied, "my... wife... in a sense... she kinda forced herself
on me, y'know?  The overly affectionate and deadly type." 
   "Yeah, I can sympathize.  She a Chinese Amazon by any chance?" 
   "Nope.  Alien Oni Devil.  Look, I gotta get outta here.  See ya later." 
   "Bye." 
   Ranma watched Ataru run down the street, shrugged, and went on her way. 

-------

   At the side of a house, a person dressed all in black crept. 
   He picked the back door lock. 
   He crept in and closed the door behind him. 
   Minutes passed. 
   He crept back out, looking very puzzled, and walked into the night. 

- end part 1 -